The Call Came from the Inside with Love is Blind's Marissa & Alex

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Call Came from the Inside with Love is Blind's Marissa & Alex"

Episode Information:

• Title: The Call Came from the Inside with Love is Blind's Marissa & Alex
• Host: Ad from What’s the Reality?
• Release Date: March 5, 2025

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Introduction and Reunion Reflections

The episode kicks off with host Ad welcoming her guests, Marissa and Alex, both former contestants from Season Seven of Love is Blind. Ad reminisces about their appearance since the show's reunion, highlighting their transformation and ongoing friendship.

Notable Quotes:

• Ad [00:16]: "What’s the reality? What’s the reality?"
• Marissa [02:25]: "If I can go back, I would change some things that I did..."

Post-Show Life Updates

Marissa shares her journey following her dramatic breakup with Ramses on the show. She discusses the emotional turmoil she experienced during and after the reunion, expressing a desire to have handled the situation differently. Marissa reveals that she no longer communicates with Ramses, stating, "We do not talk. I will always have love for Ramses, but what's done is done" ([03:22]).

Alex then updates listeners on her current relationship with her boyfriend, whom she met shortly after her breakup. They have been dating since April and recently moved in together in Washington, D.C., marking a positive turn in her personal life ([07:22]–[09:06]).

Notable Quotes:

• Marissa [02:25]: "Once they started talking to me, it was like straight tears for me, and I didn't want to cry."
• Alex [07:22]: "We just moved in together down in D.C. so it's doing well."

Vulnerability, Red Flags, and Relationships

The conversation shifts to the themes of vulnerability and recognizing red flags in relationships. Marissa emphasizes her tendency to accept people fully, which sometimes leads to overlooking significant issues: "I accept and love somebody. Doesn't mean you have to have them in your life and doesn't mean they're your person" ([05:34]). Ad and Marissa discuss the importance of maintaining personal boundaries and learning from past relationships to cultivate healthier future bonds.

Notable Quotes:

• Marissa [05:34]: "Too much. We can't do it."
• Ad [02:20]: "But sitting in that audience was tough."

Experiences as Black Women in Reality TV

Marissa and Alex delve into their experiences as primarily Black women on Love is Blind, addressing the unique challenges they faced, including internal community criticism and the lack of support from within their own demographic. Marissa reflects on the disheartening negativity they received from Black women, contrasting it with the support afforded to other cast members: "The amount of hate that I got was strictly from black women" ([14:09]).

They discuss how societal expectations and cultural backgrounds influenced the perception of their relationships on the show. Alex points out the stereotypical expectations placed on Black men and the pressure on Black women to protect them, highlighting a broader societal issue: "We're the backbone of the way this world even rotates. And it's just like, maybe stop putting that pressure on us" ([37:05]).

Notable Quotes:

• Marissa [10:25]: "It really did."
• Alex [12:17]: "Like, he gets the best of both worlds."

Specific Discussions on Love is Blind Season 7 Conflicts

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to unraveling the conflict between Alex and Tim, another contestant from the show. Alex recounts a heated argument where Tim's behavior escalated, leading to misunderstandings portrayed on camera. She clarifies misconceptions about physical altercations, emphasizing her lack of intent to harm: "I never got into any physical contact with him, which is what he agreed on to" ([24:42]).

Marissa congratulates Alex for her strength and transparency, noting her inclusion in Variety’s 30 Most Powerful Women on Reality TV list. They discuss the importance of accountability and the differing ways men and women handle breakups, with Alex highlighting the lack of support and recognition she received post-conflict: "People that know me are like, you've never gotten a physical fight in your life. You're not like, a fighter or anything like that" ([35:02]).

Notable Quotes:

• Alex [24:42]: "Words matter."
• Marissa [09:21]: "You deserve it. You're a beautiful person."

Future Perspectives and Closing Thoughts

As the episode nears its conclusion, Marissa and Alex share their future aspirations and reflections on participating in reality TV. Alex reveals her plans to launch a clothing brand, Lexara, and contemplates the possibility of appearing on another dating show, though she expresses hesitation due to past experiences. Marissa concurs, expressing reluctance to expose her heart again on TV: "We are not putting the heart on the line again like that for the public" ([43:19]).

The trio wraps up with a discussion on Love is Blind Season Eight and their favorite moments, offering hot takes and insights into other reality shows. They emphasize the resilience and strength they've developed through their shared experiences, aiming to dismantle the stigmas surrounding Black love and relationships.

Final Remarks:

• Ad [63:27]: "We're very normal, very regular. We're watching y'all be normal as fuck."
• Marissa [65:11]: "This has been a wonderful, wonderful conversation..."

---

Key Takeaways:

• Emotional Resilience: Both Marissa and Alex illustrate the emotional challenges of navigating public breakups and the importance of personal growth.
• Cultural Challenges: The episode sheds light on the specific hurdles faced by Black women in reality TV, including internal community criticism and stereotypes.
• Relationship Insights: Discussions highlight the significance of recognizing red flags, maintaining boundaries, and the complexities of vulnerability in relationships.
• Future Endeavors: Marissa and Alex are focused on personal projects and cautious about future reality TV involvement, emphasizing their desire for healthier, more authentic relationships.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Marissa [02:25]: "If I can go back, I would change some things that I did..."
• Alex [07:22]: "We just moved in together down in D.C. so it's doing well."
• Marissa [05:34]: "Too much. We can't do it."
• Ad [02:20]: "But sitting in that audience was tough."
• Marissa [10:25]: "It really did."
• Alex [12:17]: "Like, he gets the best of both worlds."
• Alex [24:42]: "Words matter."
• Marissa [09:21]: "You deserve it. You're a beautiful person."
• Alex [35:02]: "People that know me are like, you've never gotten a physical fight in your life. You're not like, a fighter or anything like that."
• Ad [63:27]: "We're very normal, very regular. We're watching y'all be normal as fuck."
• Marissa [65:11]: "This has been a wonderful, wonderful conversation..."

This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the podcast episode, highlighting the key discussions, personal anecdotes, and insightful reflections shared by Marissa, Alex, and host Ad. It provides an engaging overview for listeners who have not tuned into the episode, offering a clear understanding of the topics covered and the perspectives shared.

Transcript

[Treadwell]

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[Ad]

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[Marissa]

Hello, everyone.

[Ad]

It's your girl ad. And welcome back to what's the Reality, y'all. I am so excited. I got my two girls here, Marissa and Alex from season seven of Love is Blind.

[Marissa]

Hello.

[Alex]

Hi.

[Ad]

And welcome.

[Alex]

Can I just say we look like the Powder Puff girls.

[Ad]

Yeah, we do. We're a little uncoordinated, but we got the memo. Y'all look stunning.

[Marissa]

I love it.

[Ad]

Stunning, stunning, Stunning. I haven't seen you since reunion.

[Marissa]

Yeah, since the reunion.

[Ad]

And I saw you a few months ago. Yeah. In Charlotte turning up.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Ad]

We had a night.

[Alex]

I love Charlotte now.

[Ad]

Now I have to come to D.C. yes.

[Marissa]

Oh, yeah, you do.

[Ad]

Yeah. And you guys have to show me.

[Alex]

Show you a good time. Yeah, she'll show you a good time.

[Marissa]

I'll tag along. I'm like, yeah, I'm new to D.C. but I know.

[Ad]

What did you tell me? That you're like the ambassador for nightlife.

[Alex]

Not the ambassador, but I definitely know.

[Ad]

I wear the plug.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Ad]

Okay.

[Marissa]

Bet she knows her way around.

[Ad]

Okay, good. So, Marissa. Hi. Hello. Hi. I'm not gonna hold you, girl. Last time I saw you was at the reunion.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

And I. You know, there's so much that was not shown, obviously, as we know from the reunion. Like, so much was cut out and. But sitting in that audience was tough. Yeah, tough, tough, tough. I mean, I'm so happy to see you sitting here smiling.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

But, like, take me back to that moment. One. Yeah.

[Marissa]

I mean, honestly, If I can go back, I would change some things that I did, and not the things that most people probably would expect, but, I mean, it was a difficult time. I had just watched my breakup scene, and then, boom, I'm on the stage with the guy who I just had this most traumatic breakup with. And so I definitely wish I had a little bit more time to compose myself, because once they started talking to me, it was like straight tears for me, and I didn't want to cry. I think it was just everything kind of.

[Ad]

I don't think y'all understand. Like, the audience was silent. Like, it was just silent. And you were just pouring your heart out. Like, my heart was breaking. Like, watching that.

[Marissa]

Yeah. It was not. It was not fun to watch. It was not fun to, like, be sitting there. I think knowing that everyone in that room had also seen the breakup scene, you feel very self conscious, and I just felt just very exposed in that moment. Yeah.

[Ad]

Do you guys still talk at all? What's the update with that?

[Marissa]

We do not talk.

[Ad]

We should. No, no.

[Marissa]

We do not talk. No. I mean, I will always have love for Ramses, but what. What's done is done.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

Yeah. What's done is done.

[Ad]

Why are you making that face?

[Alex]

It's done. I'm glad it's done.

[Marissa]

Yeah. I think everyone.

[Alex]

I feel like we all went through that breakup with her.

[Ad]

No, I agree. No, they really did.

[Marissa]

After, behind the scenes, just after the show, after we got done filming the behaviors I was exhibiting, I was just all over the place. I was crazy. And the girls were seeing that and haven't experiencing it, so they were like.

[Alex]

But what. I think a lot of people, maybe people have caught onto that. But that was literally your first breakup. Like a heartbreak.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

On that level.

[Alex]

On camera.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And I feel like a lot of us might have already gone through that, but we were.

[Ad]

How was your first heartbreak?

[Marissa]

So I've had heartbreaks, but not. I've never had anyone break up with me that I, like, truly loved and wanted to be with now. So Ramses would have been the first. The other serious relationships I've been in, they were needing to end, and I ended them. So this was the first kind of, wow, someone doesn't want to be with me because of me type of situation.

[Alex]

Yeah. And just, like, she was blindsided. So were we.

[Ad]

Yeah, I think we all were, all of us. But, you know, it's something that I feel like we can relate and I think all three of us, but, like, mainly us. I got kind of labeled, like, red flag. Chaser and, like, how come I didn't see the red flags? Like, everyone could see it. Like, why is she so blind? Like, one. Did you see the red flags? Do you think you ignored the red flags and were the people right?

[Marissa]

I do not think I ignored red flags. I think that what everyone saw were really big conversations that needed. Needed to be had, but they weren't fatal to our relationships as much as everyone wants them to be. They didn't see the culmination of the conversations and how we got.

[Ad]

We bec.

[Marissa]

We came to, like, a compromise or, you know, came to an agreement. So I don't think I ignored red flags, but I definitely recognized in myself that I accept people fully for who they are, which is okay.

[Ad]

I do that too. I do that too.

[Marissa]

Too much. We can't do it.

[Ad]

I will literally give people a clean slate. Every single person. And I kind of, like, in the past would lose the lessons that I learned, and I would be like, this is a completely different person. I'm giving them a clean slate. But, like, when I would wipe the slate, it would wipe away every lesson I ever learned. Anything that I ever thought, like, I was just like, this is a new person, but I gotta bring the lessons.

[Marissa]

With me, gotta bring the lessons forward. And so that's what I'm doing now. But definitely, you can accept and love somebody. Doesn't mean you have to have them in your life and doesn't mean they're your person. But I'm delusional enough. I think I. I would have made it work, you know, Like, I am a Duluth queen.

[Ad]

We love it.

[Marissa]

I accept it, you know?

[Ad]

Are you still Dilou?

[Marissa]

Unfortunately, yeah.

[Ad]

She'll tell you she is.

[Alex]

But in the best way.

[Ad]

Yeah, in the best way.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

I just.

[Marissa]

I like to live my life positively. And, like, I do like to believe everyone is a good person and it's coming.

[Ad]

I'm the same way.

[Marissa]

I'm the same way.

[Ad]

I literally just see the best in people. I'm like, oh, you're not gonna hurt me. Oh, why would you hurt me? I would never hurt you, so why would you do that to me?

[Marissa]

Exactly.

[Ad]

I would never treat you that way, so why would you do that to me? Exactly.

[Marissa]

Yeah. That's tough. I'm more cynical now, I think, just slightly. And I think I'm less, like, dreamy.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

I miss that side of me sometimes, But I think it's for the best, to be honest.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

It's giving me better discernment with people.

[Ad]

Reality TV gave us reality checks.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

We had to catch it.

[Marissa]

Really did. I don't know if I needed that, but here I am.

[Ad]

So you did have a lot of huge conversations with Ramses. Let's talk about somebody that's not overwhelmed by all that she is. Your man. Your man.

[Marissa]

My boyfriend.

[Ad]

Your boyfriend. How's that?

[Marissa]

It's going well.

[Ad]

How long have you all been together?

[Marissa]

So we met in November, but we've been this year. Yeah, last year. November 2023. Yes. And we started officially dating in April.

[Ad]

Wait, you met in November 2023?

[Marissa]

Okay. Yes.

[Ad]

So run it back. I.

[Marissa]

Yes. Okay.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Ad]

Timeline.

[Marissa]

Me and Ramses break up in the beginning of November 2023. I meet my boyfriend at a bar, and I am not interested in him.

[Ad]

This is new news. Okay?

[Marissa]

Literally, it was weeks later, and I'm. We call it Tequila Thursday night, really drunk, and I actually happened to be coming back from Ramses house crying, upset. You know, just going through breakup woes. Uber drivers yelling at me to stop crying over some boy. I get to the bar that we're at, Barcelona in D.C. and my boyfriend is with know some mutual friends with my friends, and he goes, oh, my God, who is that girl? And I was just like, ugh, I don't want him. I want Razes. And, like, I ended up talking to him all night. And we had a really good time. And it was the first time I just kind of felt like at peace for a minute. So we went on a few dates over the course of a couple months, and at one point, I was like, I can't. I was very transparent where I was at. He knew where I was at. But we got to a point where I was like, I can't do this. So we took a break. We stayed friends, and then April, we gave it a real chance of 20, 20, 24.

[Ad]

Okay. And still going strong.

[Marissa]

Still going strong. Like, ups and downs, like any relationship, I'm learning.

[Ad]

Okay.

[Alex]

Yeah, they just moved in together.

[Marissa]

Just moved in. Come on.

[Ad]

Update. Don't forget that.

[Alex]

That's exciting.

[Marissa]

Yeah, we just moved in together down in D.C. so it's doing.

[Treadwell]

Oh, my God.

[Ad]

So we're happy.

[Marissa]

We're happy. We're doing a lot better since the show is out and over, so.

[Ad]

Okay, well, I do want to congratulate you. Thank you, Ms. Variety's 30 Most Powerful Women on Reality TV list.

[Marissa]

Girl.

[Ad]

Like, first of all, who would have thought that your vulnerability and how strong and powerful you were would show up and manifest in that way? So congratulations. That's so dope. That's so powerful. Because a lot of us as women, we're not recognized for being vulnerable. It's like you're weak or you're whatever they want to call us. But the fact that you got that title because of who you are, which was considered too much, and now look at you. So congratulations.

[Marissa]

That's so dope. Thank you. I was very shocked and just happy to be on that list, to be recognized in that way.

[Ad]

You deserve it. You're a beautiful person. Okay, y'all, let's talk about black women in reality tv.

[Marissa]

I mean, this is a great platform to talk about, just like the DC cast in general, like, what we went through as a primarily black cast and how we've noticed a difference in how the public embraced us versus other cast and how a lot of the vitriol and a lot of the negativity was coming from people within our own house and how that was extreme.

[Ad]

It all came from in the inside.

[Marissa]

It really did.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

And, you know, us girls, we've talked about it, and, you know, a lot of the sweet messages we get are not from people who are looking like us. Three, the mean messages we're getting are from people who look like us. And it was really disheartening because I felt that this season was going to be phenomenal because it was so black.

[Ad]

It was so diverse.

[Marissa]

So diverse. And this show had the opportunity to really show the different types of black love that we all have because we all come from different experiences and life challenges. And I felt that it got lost in all the drama, unfortunately. And ironically, I think that a lot of the people who are in our DMs and comments and the black woman and the black men who were so harsh, so vocal and so demeaning and harsh on us, maybe, you know, in a way, I hope they saw themselves in us.

[Alex]

I think that's what it was.

[Marissa]

That's what it kind of was. And maybe they don't feel the ability to express themselves that way. And so my feelings behind, you know, everything that happened with the show and the public opinion with it and how our cast was embraced, I just think that hopefully all those people out there who had all those things to say were able to, like, look back at our season and say, like, you know, they expressed themselves in the way that was appropriate for them. Like, she didn't need to bawl and cry during, you know, her breakup with Tim. She handled it in such a beautiful way, in a way that I handled my breakup differently. And the way that Monica handed her handled her breakup differently. And I think it shows strength in all of us, and I think that kind of got lost.

[Alex]

I think it's also, like, a cultural difference with, like, women in D.C. yeah. And I feel like we're too strong, kind of. And we're so into.

[Ad]

I feel like that is just a black woman story in general. Correct.

[Alex]

But see, in that bubble over there, it's. We're very independent. We're very career driven. We're very, like, I can do everything on my own, but also with a man. And it's like, the man gets the best of both worlds. Like, he gets a woman who doesn't really need for him at all, but then also, like, he's. He's still being able to provide as well.

[Ad]

Cake and eat it too.

[Alex]

Exactly. And I feel like a lot of the people that were coming for us come from a different type of cultural background where they're used to, you know, women in the kitchen and not before spring. Yeah, exactly. And so I feel like a lot of the comments were like, oh, you know, you didn't. You didn't do the dishes or something. Like, they were, like, agreeing with him. And I'm just like, we have to be like, this can't really actually be the real thing that we're focusing on.

[Marissa]

It's a vulnerability to go on this show and to do what we did. And at least my sentiment that I always got was, why are you crying.

[Ad]

Over a guy like that?

[Marissa]

Why are you showing such a difference?

[Alex]

We're not giving much grace.

[Marissa]

We're not giving grace to just.

[Ad]

You know what it's like. I'm not gonna lie. I was a little bit envious of you guys season because there was so much black love displayed. Whereas on mine, it was up to me and him to show the world what black love looks like. And it's just like, I feel kind of like what you guys are saying. Like, the call came from the inside. The way I was tore apart by women that look like us, that have gone through similar things. And it didn't. It's not like the hate was dispersed. It was poured onto me and my relationship. The way I looked, the way I cried, the way I spoke, the way my hair was, the way my lashes were dangling. Like, it all came from.

[Alex]

It's. It's like, damned you do. Damned you don't.

[Ad]

Damned if you don't.

[Alex]

They would literally say. Some people have said to me, like, you were the most authentic.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But then also some people, like, you were too authentic.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It's like, which one do you Want. Do you want me to show you exactly who I am? Unfiltered? Like, when I went to that on that show, I really didn't, like, prep for, like, who I was gonna be. I'm like, I'm gonna go on the show. Authentic who I am.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It is what it is. But some people were, like, it was too authentic. You were too. I don't understand.

[Marissa]

But we see what happens when the community supports, you know, their person. We see Taylor's Asian community really backed her during this season, and that was seen all over social media, and that was.

[Ad]

That's, like, just from my season.

[Marissa]

Yes.

[Ad]

Like, it's, like, didn't even make it out the pod. No. In the amount of love and support. And I'm not saying, like, she doesn't get hate. We all get, you know, of course. But it's just, like, the difference is astronomical.

[Alex]

The amount of hate that I got was strictly from black women.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

And same here.

[Alex]

It was so unfortunate. Like, Drag Game.

[Marissa]

And I was like, if you just supported us the way that we're seeing other castmates and their community support them, like, we would all be winning here. Like, Taylor can win. Alex can win. I can win with the Hispanic. You know, all of us could win. And. But again, I hope people take away that we were able to show them it's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to express yourself however you deem fit. And that having big emotions or quiet emotions is not a bad thing. It's just.

[Alex]

And I think that's another thing is, like, people have their own version of what it looks like to be vulnerable. And I think even with my breakup, because I was just so. Okay. It wasn't that I wasn't.

[Marissa]

You were so poised. And I remember being like, wow, I wish I could be a little bit more poised like that.

[Alex]

But in the same. At the same breath, I wanted to be cared for or just the way that Rams has handled you.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I would have wanted that. I was handled with such. I was handled with such, like, I'm good. Whereas. Which is why I gave the. You're not getting an ounce of. Of tear from me at all. But you. At least you were able to cry in his arms, and he was able to comfort you. Even. No breakup is gonna be good. But he still handled you.

[Marissa]

He gave me the space to really express myself in a way. Like, if I were in your shoes with Tim, I crash out hard. Crash out. Like, I don't think I'd be.

[Alex]

I crash out enough at that point.

[Marissa]

Yeah. But like, you handled yourself so well, and it was beautifully. And I wish that he did handle you in a different way so that you could have expressed yourself fully.

[Alex]

I was actually exhausted by that point.

[Ad]

Yeah, girl. When were you not. When was my girl not sleepy? Tired, as.

[Marissa]

Honestly, I didn't know you slept.

[Ad]

You never slept a lot that much, did you?

[Alex]

I did.

[Marissa]

Oh, did you?

[Alex]

I did.

[Marissa]

Okay.

[Alex]

They just didn't show it.

[Marissa]

I was up 24 7.

[Ad]

But you know what I've noticed, though? I think because I am a little bit out from my show, the hate has dwindled. And it's like the people that really love and resonated and kind of could empathize with my situation are still here. There are some true core writers that are like, no, ad. We got your back. We love you. We support you. And I feel like maybe you guys are not there yet because it's still a little bit fresh. But I promise you, like, all of that negativity, not all of it. Cause there's always one. Always.

[Marissa]

Or two.

[Ad]

But it will start to dwindle. And the women that resonate with our stories, they stick around and they root for us and they cheer for us and they love us. So.

[Marissa]

And I'm sorry. I never even recognized that, like, you were carrying the whole race. Yeah.

[Ad]

You were like, you are the black couple.

[Marissa]

And I guess I never even thought about that. Cause to me, I don't look at you and that person and go, the.

[Ad]

One black girl, whatever she does, that's us, you know? But that's, like, my space. I feel like that's kind of how I've grown up in general. Like, the one black girl in everything that I've done. That's just the space that I occupy, the things that I end up doing. And for it to show up on the show, like, that was actually bizarre, too. Cause there were so many black women, so many black men.

[Alex]

It's Charlotte.

[Ad]

It's Charlotte. And it just. Yeah, it's still Charlotte. So I could see why a lot of the girls in my pods were like, no, no. Can we just talk about the black men in general on reality TV shows in general. Dating, it's so the audible side. Well.

[Alex]

Cause, you know, I really had a lot of hope. I was being delulu, too.

[Ad]

I was hopeful.

[Alex]

I was very hopeful that, no, they're gonna find, like, a really good bunch. No, they didn't. And not saying that it was their fault. I think just the men that went for the show.

[Ad]

I want to sit in on a casting call, like, I just want to be in the back and I want to hear what these men are saying that's allowing them to sneak through that crack.

[Alex]

Because that wasn't even, like, a good example of, like, the DMV men, really. I wouldn't do that.

[Marissa]

Now you look at the black men in our community, being vulnerable is not necessarily, like, that's still such a stigma and such a thing. So it's like the people, the black men that are applying to these shows are going to kind of be towards a specific archetype, in a sense, versus, like, women. I think we're a bit more diverse in our personalities and careers and things, but, like, black men are still overcoming this stigma of always having to be vulnerable and be strong and all these.

[Ad]

Or.

[Marissa]

Sorry. Always having to be strong and not being vulnerable. So maybe that's why we don't see, like, you know, but everybody also has.

[Alex]

A security clearance in D.C. so they also probably didn't want to lose their. I'm crying.

[Marissa]

There are a lot of people about security. I don't know. I mean, it's a hard thing to go on shows, but I think it's. It's too much of a vulnerable thing for.

[Ad]

Well, there's this, like. I don't know, this kind of, like, rhetoric all over line. It's like whenever a new season comes out, it's like, black women, stop going on love is blind. Stop going on love is blind. And then there was a whole montage. We were all in it. We were all featured. This one girl. You saw it? I saw it. Just like black girl after black girl after black girl being embarrassed. Embarrassed. I'm just like, why you gotta put me in it?

[Alex]

How'd I get in it at home?

[Marissa]

Were we embarrassed? Like, we just went through.

[Ad]

You went through real life shit just on tv.

[Marissa]

Exactly. I wasn't embarrassed. Like, I went through a breakdown.

[Ad]

I was embarrassed. I'm not gonna hold you.

[Marissa]

Oh, okay.

[Ad]

Yeah, I was embarrassed.

[Marissa]

Were you embarrassed?

[Alex]

Yes.

[Marissa]

Am I the only one not embarrassed?

[Ad]

You don't have to be.

[Marissa]

I mean, I wasn't embarrassed because I.

[Ad]

Just felt like I was just like.

[Marissa]

It'S not my fault. The man broke out with me. Like, it's not my fault. I had such big emotions about it. I never felt like. I've never looked at either anyone on the show and said they should be embarrassed of themselves.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Ad]

It's more or less, I think, coming from these men are embarrassing black women.

[Alex]

That's it. Or they're not.

[Ad]

Yeah. And they're not protecting us. And they're not.

[Alex]

We're going bending over backwards protecting, protecting them.

[Ad]

I think that was like, the storyline where I'm just like, you know what, sis? You right?

[Marissa]

Because hashtag, stop protecting.

[Alex]

That was my mainstream.

[Ad]

That trending.

[Marissa]

Hashtag, stop protecting black men. No, no, no.

[Alex]

Over it.

[Ad]

The protecting. You're over the protecting?

[Alex]

Yes.

[Marissa]

I don't know if I protect black men, do I?

[Alex]

I'm not saying I'm done protecting, but I'm done protecting where it's sacrificing me because it got to the point where I was self sacrificing to make sure. To make sure he was looking good and his ego was stroked and he just got everything that he wanted. But for me, I'm like, oh, I can handle it. But in the end, it backfired tremendously.

[Ad]

Yeah, well, I don't protect any black man.

[Marissa]

I don't think so. Probably why had single.

[Alex]

I don't think I do.

[Ad]

And that's okay.

[Marissa]

I don't stroke egos. I don't protect them.

[Ad]

All right, noted. Larissa does not protect black men.

[Alex]

Do not protect Alpha.

[Marissa]

I protect those who I love.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Marissa]

I protect those who I respect and those who respect me and show up in my life in a correct manner.

[Alex]

Correct.

[Ad]

Yeah. As you should. What about you? Who you protecting these days?

[Alex]

Myself.

[Ad]

Me.

[Alex]

Myself and I.

[Marissa]

And Tim.

[Alex]

Oh, not anymore.

[Marissa]

You're not protecting Tim anymore?

[Alex]

No.

[Ad]

Okay, wait. Get in.

[Marissa]

She's not protecting Tim anymore.

[Ad]

Okay, wait. Hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Marissa]

I'm gonna mind my business. Hold on.

[Ad]

I get yelled at every time.

[Marissa]

I don't mind my business.

[Alex]

You don't get yelled at.

[Ad]

Is there something we don't know about?

[Treadwell]

Want the same expert advice from the pros at a discount tire store while shopping for tires online? Meet Treadwell, your personal tire guide. Treadwell is an online tire buying guide that gives you personalized recommendations. Shop for tires with [e-mail].

[Unknown]

The Quarter Pounder with cheese had many great things. Maple flavored griddle cakes. Is it one of them? McDonald's breakfast comes first. Ba da ba ba ba.

[Marissa]

I just feel like this is a great segue because we're talking about protecting black men. And, you know, we go on this show and everyone knows about Alexandra who covered this man's mouth. You know, nobody knows, really. The true full story.

[Ad]

I was at the reunion again, and I'm sitting there, mind you, I don't know you two ladies at all, but I'm sitting. We were in close, pretty close proximity. And the tyrant that he Went on was just so long. So long. And like, during that speech, we just kept locking eyes, and I just kept feeling like in my soul, I was like, she is biting her tongue. Like, I just kept feeling like, what is she not saying? And I wanted to be like, bitch speak. Bitch talk. Like, this is the time. But we kept looking at each other, and I'm just like. And you're like. And I was like, okay. Like, that unspoken. There's more. Look, do you feel like. Cause time has passed, You've done a few interviews, you've kind of was able to say your piece on the reunion. Do you feel like you wanna tell us what actually happened that night? Because there's still so much confusion. Like, did you. What. What. What happened?

[Alex]

Yeah. Well, what I will say is words matter. And I think I chose the wrong words that turned into. People were saying some of the most horrible things on, like, me saying, cover your mouth. As in, she mushed him, she punched him. She pushed like, no. And that's one of the things that I wanted to make very clear on the reading was like, I never got into any physical contact with him, which is what he agreed on to. But I can't say the same was with him. And that was the whole issue that we had. So the whole thing was when we got in the room, he was, of course, very upset that I wasn't speaking to him. Now, I could have probably communicated better on that. I just want to be alone right now. But my issue wasn't with him. And he's, like, very, like. I would say just, like, drunk from, you know, being out and whatnot. We had been out for a really long time, and I just feel like he wasn't fully aware of his. Just his actions, his emotions, just how his demeanor was towards me. And he is bigger than me. So being put in, like, us in the bathroom, talking and whatnot. And I'm just like, babe, just calm down. And it's like, this is literally, like, yelling at you. Literally yelling at me. And I'm just like, I need you to calm down. Because literally, production's outside, and I don't want them to come in here with cameras. That's protection. Okay, first time. And instead, like, me doing, like that, pushing my arms down and just being like, no, you're gonna listen to me.

[Ad]

Oh, God.

[Alex]

And I'm just like. I don't want it to get to the point where it's going to be a physical altercation. It went so left. And he was saying things that we were all like, what is happening. Like, it was like he was spitting out trauma that he had.

[Marissa]

I had, like, the military and all that.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

He was like, you know what I've been through? And I'm like, I don't, actually. It was like, it took us all by surprise.

[Ad]

All because you didn't want to talk to him.

[Alex]

It was. I don't know what it was. And it was, like, scary. Not saying that I was scared of him, but scary to see that emotion come out and I don't recognize him. But at the same time, just like he had said at the reunion, I hate that this was our story. I didn't want this to be our story. And we also didn't know if we were gonna get married or not at that point. But if we were, I didn't want this to be something that we'd look back on and be like, oh, but we did have that horrible, you know, fight or whatever. And so I was. I remember I was talking to my production team, and I was just like, I'll just take the blame for it all. I'll take the blame, because I know he's not going to be able to handle it. Protection number two.

[Ad]

Protection number two.

[Alex]

But when they had left, they left us. We, like, you know, said our goodnights or whatever. We calmed down. Everybody's like, okay, we're good. He had gotten upset again because I had told production, it's getting physical to get them to come in. So he took that. As you're telling them, I put my hands on you. I'm like, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that it's getting intense and I need someone else to calm me down because I can't do it. I don't have the capacity to do it. And so because of that, he then throws a temper tantrum. And it accelerates and accelerates to the point where, you know, call him on his name and then he leaves. That was. But at that point, I'm just like, yes, I shouldn't have done that. At the same time, there was a lot of things that had happened to escalate to that point.

[Ad]

We don't get to pick and choose which parts of a fight or an argument are unfair and, like, the whole thing probably shouldn't have happened.

[Alex]

Correct.

[Ad]

So we don't get to pick and choose. Like, you shouldn't have covered my mouth, and you shouldn't have called me out of my name. Well, there's some things that I can pick and choose that you shouldn't have done. Like, when you're battling. Everything is up for, you know, like, nothing is safe. No one is safe. And I think the fact that those are the two things that we know of that argument is that you covered his mouth and called him out of his name.

[Alex]

But that was, again, like, everyone's like, oh, she. She said this. So that's why he got upset. It was over an hour of, like, arguing, and literally me just sitting there, and he's arguing with himself at this point.

[Marissa]

And it's not like he's just, like, having a car. He's, like, yelling at you. He's, like, being belligerent.

[Alex]

It was like we had a balcony in our room, and there was, like, a daybed, and he would be like, I don't like that you said that. I'm sleeping on the daybed, and he goes outside, and then five minutes later. But we can't go to bed angry. You said you don't ever want to go back bed angry. I'm like, okay, let's talk about it. Okay, well, then speak. Okay, well, now I feel belittled. And so it's just like a back and forth to the point where I'm like, I can't actually. I don't know what to do at this point. And now.

[Ad]

So he ended up leaving that night?

[Alex]

Yeah, just that night.

[Ad]

And then came back, and that's what we saw.

[Alex]

But the thing is, that was very frustrating is what I felt with our breakup, is that he was holding onto that that entire time and waiting for his moment to embarrass me. But we had talked about it so many times.

[Ad]

Talked about the fight or breaking up the fight.

[Alex]

Okay, and where can we make sure that we're good? Is there anything you want to clarify? Is there anything that you want to talk about? The very next night, we were good. We, like, overly talked about it to the point where I was like, okay, we had our first fight.

[Ad]

Couples fight, right?

[Alex]

This is literally my first night being with him. So we're figuring out what buttons push, what not. But I think even though I was protecting him and he was so adamant, like, oh, we got to protect black people and black women and black men. When I was getting dragged on social media on. She put her hands on him. She pushed him. As long as she keeps her hands. Like, even my job was saying, so did you actually, like. It was. People were starting to question my character, and people that know me are like, you've never gotten a physical fight in your life. You're not like, a fighter or anything like that. So this doesn't even seem like you. And not once did he clarify online, because he was ranting online. But not once did he rant and say, hey, she didn't do that.

[Ad]

Does he recall the story the way you just told it? The same way.

[Alex]

Like, he should.

[Ad]

Like, would he ever be like, yeah, actually, I did, like, swat her hand out of the way.

[Alex]

He knows what happened. Yeah, he knows exactly the mark on the camera.

[Marissa]

Yeah, you could see it in the scene.

[Alex]

And she had called it out when we were watching it.

[Marissa]

Yeah, I was like, I called her and I'm like, I see the mark for when, you know, I obviously know about this, you know, what happened and where he, you know, pushes her hands out the way you could see it in the scene. And so it's like, I'm like, why aren't you saying anything? Like, say something.

[Alex]

And my thing is also, yes, we did this show and stuff like that can ruin people's lives. And I would never want to ruin his life off of something.

[Marissa]

Well, you wouldn't have ruined it. His actions would ruin it. Not you.

[Alex]

Correct. Off of something that happen in a moment where he was inebriated. So I know.

[Ad]

Well, do you regret taking the fall for all of that, or do you think that it should have been dispersed evenly? Do you think he, like, how do you feel about it?

[Alex]

I just would have never said. Covered your mouth. I would have never said that because that turned into something else. I would have just said exactly what happened. But to be fair, I think if I would have told the story of what it was, we wouldn't have left Mexico together. I think our relationship would have ended right then and there.

[Marissa]

And I still actually even believe if she had told the story based off the public's reception of us, I don't think she would have been as embraced.

[Ad]

As she should have.

[Marissa]

I mean, Monica was cheated on, and they still call her, you know, make her the issue out of that. So I think about that with, you know, the men kind of getting off the hook in this situation, it's like that was her story to tell when she was ready to tell. Because at the end of the day, women aren't always believed. And then even if they are black, women might be believed but might not be even listened to to be believed.

[Alex]

So there's just no room for error for us.

[Marissa]

Yeah, yeah, no room. Yeah.

[Alex]

Like I said, no. Grace is given nothing.

[Ad]

So, yeah, so you did kind of mention that, like, you stayed quite quiet post reunion while he's posting, posting, posting. And girl, I can relate. Like, I was a house mouse. I was quiet. I said nothing.

[Alex]

You think we dated the same person?

[Ad]

You know what?

[Alex]

Aren't they both Virgos?

[Ad]

I don't know that. Oh, Lord. But why was it important for you to stay silent? And did you think that him posting all that kind of helped unravel his true identity?

[Alex]

Yeah, I think he revealed that what was really going on. Himself. He kind of told on himself.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

With the spiraling out. And I'm just spiral and I'm just.

[Ad]

What I called it. I was just like this. He was losing it.

[Alex]

He was posting our text messages. He was posting screenshots of, like, my face on saying, like, this is what a liar looks like. He was adding me and things where the point. I just had to block him on everything because it was becoming harassment.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

But I just let him do that because I said, okay, well, you're letting everybody see who you really are because you can't, like, contain yourself. Me over here just making funny tiktoks.

[Ad]

Literally tiktoks about taking naps.

[Alex]

What else can I do? I mean, it happened. And the thing is, it happened a year ago, and I wasn't angry anymore. All I wanted was what made me upset was reliving it and him not having my back, not supporting you.

[Ad]

Right.

[Alex]

As much as even at the end of the breakup, he's like, I don't have any hate for her. I don't have any hate for her. And he would tell our friends, like, from the show, oh, I don't have any hate for Alex.

[Ad]

You couldn't tell on that reunion stage.

[Alex]

He would speak so highly of me. Couldn't tell friends, like, oh, you know, I think Alex is a great person. But then on the reunion, it's like, you're still so upset. But the only reason why I was upset is just I'm getting dragged for.

[Ad]

Genuinely, the first time y'all spoke.

[Alex]

I. I wasn't gonna reach out, but I know he had asked a few castmates if you should reach out, but my response is he shouldn't have to ask you guys if he should reach out. It should be on him.

[Ad]

Right. So you clear cleared, you know, the air with the whole situation, which I appreciate it, and I think everybody will appreciate that.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Ad]

A little more clarity. Yeah. Have you talked to Tim at all?

[Alex]

No. Oh, no. He's literally blocked on everything.

[Ad]

Okay.

[Alex]

He. I. No, no.

[Ad]

Lovely.

[Marissa]

Bare minimum. He didn't even have to support you. All he had to do is be honest.

[Alex]

Yeah. And that's honestly all I wanted, because even for Example, you and Ramses, you guys, even though you guys had a horrible breakup.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

He was able to take accountability and apologize and just acknowledge what happened.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Even as hard as it was, I. I was gaslit on that stage with saying, with a podcast bro mentality, y'all want. Y'all women want. And it's like, who is y'all?

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

That was a lot.

[Ad]

Y'all wanna man this.

[Marissa]

Yeah. When that came out of his mouth, who is y'all?

[Ad]

Who are you talking to?

[Alex]

So it just. It felt like a performance.

[Ad]

It felt, like, very calculated. So looking back and the protection that you gave that man. How do you one feel about that? And what are you gonna do moving forward in relationships?

[Alex]

I learned my lesson when it comes to protecting someone that I feel doesn't fully respect me. Yeah. If there's. It got to the point where I remember Ashley had even said, like, your light is gone. I was dimming my light for his to make him feel comfortable. And I feel like at any moment, if there's a point where I'm in a relationship where I'm not myself, I'm uncomfortable. I'm just not doing it. I just don't have the patience or. Yeah, I'm just not doing it.

[Ad]

And maybe for once, it's not up to us to protect them. Maybe it's up to them to stop putting themselves in positions where they need to constantly be protected and knowing that we are the backbone of the way this world even rotates. And it's just like, maybe stop putting that pressure on us. Maybe stop being like, you know what? She's a good one, and I know she's gonna have my back, but it's like, they won't maybe stop doing that.

[Alex]

What is the stigma that we have to go through so much pain to find, like, jump through hoops to find.

[Ad]

Actual love, Literally jump through hoops.

[Alex]

We have to put up with the ringer.

[Ad]

You have to be dragged before you're worthy of being loved.

[Alex]

Oh, okay. He cheated. Oh, okay. He did this. Oh, he might not have a job.

[Marissa]

Just.

[Alex]

Just be. Be a support system.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

It's like, why do I have to go through that?

[Ad]

Don't want to. Don't want to hashtag. Don't say it. That is not the hashtag.

[Alex]

What is the hashtag? You're about to say the hashtag.

[Marissa]

Stop protecting.

[Ad]

Oh, that is not the hashtag. Those men. So that's not the hashtag.

[Marissa]

He's like, please do not have the hashtag. Please don't have the trending.

[Ad]

Like, AD said stop. No, I didn't say stop. Just stop.

[Marissa]

Marissa.

[Ad]

George is the one. I think it should be more mindful because I think when you are in like a non healthy relationship, black, white, or any other thing, there's a level of protecting that we want to do. But like, there are healthy relationships that deserve, you know, men deserve to be protected. And black men in particular, like, the term like protect black men and protect black women doesn't really derived from relationships. And we all know that there's a bigger, bigger, bigger meaning as to why we say protect black men and black women. And we bring that sentence into our relationships where it's like, maybe black men protect me. How about that?

[Marissa]

Yeah, it could be, like protective.

[Ad]

I'm protecting you. I'm having your back. I'm your blind spots, and that's what you offer me. But when we're in the relationship, protect the relationship, protect the relationship. Protect us. Protect what we have. Like, don't make me look crazy. Don't make me look stupid. Don't embarrass me. And I think because we are so strong and resilient, we're just forced into the role of protecting where it's just like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to protect my relationship. I don't want to battle you every day. I don't want to battle for what we have, for the public to deem us as. Okay. Don't want to do that. Exhausting. Speaking of relationships, were you, like, seeing someone at the end of the reunion?

[Alex]

No.

[Ad]

No. Anyone?

[Alex]

No.

[Ad]

Are you seeing someone now?

[Alex]

No. She's single.

[Ad]

Okay.

[Marissa]

Ready to mingle, boys?

[Ad]

I mean, men, we're just.

[Alex]

We're just here.

[Ad]

Yeah. I feel like, I don't know. What is your type?

[Alex]

I don't know my type is either anymore.

[Ad]

We know what your type is. Not.

[Alex]

Correct.

[Ad]

Like, if you had. If you had to say, like, right now, like, what would like, your ideal man be?

[Alex]

Like, someone who is. Okay, I'll say this. I think what I went for was someone that was very, like, I felt secure, but more like a security guard. Like, protected in that way, but that kind of turned into controlling.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So now I go for someone that's a little bit more comforting and just compassionate and just understanding. Someone who's softer with me. I'm just a girl Just a girl.

[Ad]

I'm just a girl. Do you feel like you went on Love is Blind both of you, like, with your same dating, past history and kind of went towards the person that you would have Dated on the outside, and now outside of the pods you're looking for is someone different.

[Alex]

I went for somebody different. I went for somebody who was really choosing me and ignored all the red flags.

[Ad]

I went for the same guy. The same guy. Like, the blueprints. Like, I took it in with me and was like, ooh, you gotta be. You have to have 12 red flags or it's a no. Like, I literally went in for the same thing, and I thought I was doing something different. Like, you know, I was in that little love triangle with Matthew, so that was different. And he was so nice and sweet, but I just. I feel like I failed myself by going in there thinking that I wanted something different and then falling for the same thing that I always fell for.

[Alex]

Yeah. I felt like when I chose, like, to be with Tim, I was like, I feel like I have to do this. Not in a. In a way where I'm forced, but it was more so, like, he's choosing me. You what? Don't turn this down.

[Ad]

Yeah. Like, the man that's picking you.

[Alex]

Exactly. Like, don't miss out on an opportunity of a good man trying to, you know, choose you, when in actuality, that's not what it was.

[Ad]

That is scary. That's so scary, because behind that wall, you don't get to see mannerisms. You don't get to see. And that's what dead someone's eyes are when you. When they're talking to you. Like, you. You don't see any of that. You're just going off vibes and whatever the. We went through. Having a good time, just having a good time.

[Marissa]

Pause for such a good time.

[Ad]

I missed the pause.

[Alex]

The paws were fun, though.

[Marissa]

Pods were lit.

[Alex]

They're so fun.

[Ad]

They were lit. So, Alex, what is, like, what's next for you? What do you have going on? What are we up to?

[Alex]

Well, I started my own clothing brand called Lexara that's coming out in September. Staying sane, figuring out what works best for me. I think the reality TV world definitely made me have tougher skin and definitely gave me a different perspective on, you know, what I want out of life and. Yeah.

[Ad]

Would you do another dating show?

[Alex]

I've considered it. I said no, no, no, like, so many times, but now I'm like, why not do it?

[Marissa]

You know what you're getting yourself into now? Better than ever.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Ad]

If you weren't in a relationship with you.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

Period.

[Marissa]

I'm going. I would love Island Baby. I'm gonna go have some fun. Too hot to handle. Like, I'm gonna have.

[Ad]

Oh, you want to turn up?

[Marissa]

No. Like, yeah.

[Ad]

You want to do something different? It's like not a marriage show.

[Marissa]

No.

[Alex]

You trying to.

[Marissa]

We are not putting the heart on the line again like that for the public. No. I would go and have a good time and I would. I'd probably fall in love my delulu self.

[Ad]

Because where love is blind coded. Like, in our core, we're just lover girls.

[Marissa]

Lovers.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Honestly, I feel like you can go through Love is Mine. You can go through any show.

[Ad]

No, I agree. I agree.

[Treadwell]

Want the same expert advice from the pros At a discount tire store while shopping for tires online, meet Treadwell, your personal tire guide. Treadwell is an online tire buying guide that gives you personalized recommendations based on your location, driving habits, and tire performance. Just enter your vehicle info, zip code, and driving routines, and then Treadwell will match you with the perfect tire for your vehicle. Shop for tires with [e-mail]. let's get you taken care of.

[Unknown]

The Quarter Pounder with cheese had many great things. Maple flavored griddle cakes isn't one of them. McDonald's breakfast comes first. Ba ba, ba, ba ba.

[Ad]

Okay, are we all caught up on Love is Blind season eight?

[Alex]

Yes.

[Marissa]

Yes.

[Ad]

Hot take. Hot take. Like, give me your 10 second hot take.

[Marissa]

Ooh, 10 second hot take. I have favorites, and I have those I just don't think about. And so I have. Meg is one of my favorites. I think she's very. I liked the way that she came across. She was very authentic to herself. I really liked Sarah. I thought that she also stayed true to her morals and values and stood strong. Honestly. I love all the women, actually. She is, with some exceptions.

[Ad]

But Sarah stayed true to her morals and values.

[Marissa]

But she did. I think she's just.

[Alex]

No, she didn't.

[Marissa]

I know. Me and her have talked about this. I think she has.

[Alex]

We keep going back and forth on this, and I'm like, she's trying to.

[Marissa]

Be understanding and she's in love and she's trying to understand it's not that.

[Ad]

Much love in the world.

[Marissa]

She's gonna tell that man no. We all know she's gonna tell him no.

[Alex]

All Ben has to do is say, oh, it's not true. Okay, like, it's like, what? Stand on it.

[Marissa]

She did her research with the church. He told them that they didn't believe in that queer. The anti queer stuff. She did her research and still went down.

[Alex]

Watch the sermons and still put on that wedding dress.

[Marissa]

What do we do when we're like, you know, you try to understand, you try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But her we do.

[Ad]

Like we're in love for sure. But when it's goes against your values, your morals, your family, your ideals of life. Like how adamant was. I don't even know what color those flags are.

[Marissa]

Did he say he was against it? I mean, I'm not a Ben fan, but I'm just saying I think in.

[Ad]

The pods he was very.

[Marissa]

I didn't love his answers in the pods.

[Ad]

That's what I'm saying in the middle. So obviously we didn't hear the conversation of him clarifying that I do accept equality.

[Marissa]

I didn't like the way he was like, I have friends that are like that, that are like them, that are.

[Alex]

That is somebody saying, I'm not racist because I have a black friend.

[Marissa]

Like, no, I just think it's fair. I don't think he. I felt that she is staying open minded. Like he's staying open minded and giving him the opportunity to grow and learn. Because we could automatically shut someone out for having the worst opinion about something or maybe being closed minded about something. But to me, I felt like I didn't really like his responses, but I felt that he could get there. And it's not her responsibility to get him there, but I think it was just taking her time.

[Ad]

I'm not even gonna hold you, girl. I feel like he's right where he wanna be. Okay. There's nowhere to get that man. He's right where he used to be.

[Alex]

He's grown and he knows what's happening.

[Ad]

In the world around him.

[Alex]

This is Marissa.

[Ad]

What are you talking about?

[Alex]

This is when Marissa gets a little too green and naive to certain things. And I have to.

[Marissa]

It's not that. I just think that there is room to grow and I'm not. He didn't sit there and say, I am against these. You know, he even said if he had a queer child. There was not. He never said anything negative about that.

[Ad]

Imagine the cameras in your face. How would you feel if you had lgbt?

[Marissa]

But we've seen people go on TV and say, yeah, anti.

[Alex]

I don't. I think he's just saying that to save face.

[Marissa]

So you guys are just. You think he's just completely wrong.

[Ad]

He's a grown ass man and he knows exactly where he stands on.

[Marissa]

So what exactly bothered you guys?

[Alex]

Everything that he said.

[Ad]

Everything that he is.

[Marissa]

So what'd he say?

[Alex]

And she also was like, I'm not compromising on this. But she compromised.

[Marissa]

No, she's not gonna marry him.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Marissa]

I think she's. She's not compromising.

[Alex]

She is trying to work through that.

[Ad]

Even to let it get that far for me was a lot.

[Marissa]

I felt that his answers were not close minded and just to the point. Like, I'm anti. For her to be like, okay, I think her gut was telling her something's a little bit off, but I think it's fair for her to explore it.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

And she's doing her research. She's not just. I think she's listening to his word.

[Alex]

I think it went too far.

[Ad]

I think it went too far.

[Alex]

I think she worded for too far.

[Ad]

I think it went too far.

[Marissa]

I think, you guys, it went nicer.

[Alex]

Plenty of times of certain. Too many things coming up.

[Ad]

Like, out of respect for her, like, she is so strong and powerful and beautiful and like she knows exactly who she is. And then she gets with a guy who doesn't know one right from left, up from down what's happening in his own city. He doesn't know.

[Marissa]

No, that is true.

[Ad]

What are we talking about? And it's like, do you not know what's happening?

[Marissa]

Keep reminding me the joke.

[Ad]

Or are you choosing not to talk about it?

[Marissa]

No, that's true.

[Ad]

So I'm not quite sure. As a grown man, stand on something and stand on it boldly. Don't sit there and be like, I don't.

[Alex]

I just ignore it.

[Ad]

I don't talk about that.

[Marissa]

I didn't love when you talked about all that. I was like, but I'm hoping she'll learn. She'll watch this back and she'll reflect and she'll never. I mean, maybe she'll do it again. But like, the great thing about the show is you have time to reflect and realize she's too accommodating.

[Alex]

But hold him accountable and he'll.

[Marissa]

I feel like she saw ability for growth there. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt of why she went so far. Yeah.

[Ad]

And again, there's conversations that they had that she said that he was able to clear up and make her feel a level of comfort that we don't know. So good for her.

[Marissa]

She didn't like, roll over is what I'm saying.

[Alex]

No, but at the same time, she also. She got in the bed literally every night. She backed down. She didn't. She didn't put pressure on him.

[Ad]

No, that part. That part.

[Marissa]

I think so.

[Ad]

No, off camera, I'm looking at this.

[Marissa]

From the lens of we don't get.

[Alex]

To see the full conversation Think back to their conversations.

[Ad]

I will give you that.

[Alex]

I will give you that. However, when they are talking, though, from what we are seeing, she is very much like, okay, like, this is a problem, but it lets him explain. And it's like, okay. And just, like, sweeps it under the rug.

[Marissa]

Okay. For now, let me process. Maybe we'll talk more about it off camera. Maybe we'll bring this up later.

[Ad]

Yeah, that's a possibility. But that's not what we see.

[Alex]

What we're seeing. Well, okay.

[Marissa]

I like Sarah.

[Ad]

We like Sarah.

[Marissa]

No, I know. I know.

[Ad]

We all love Sarah.

[Marissa]

But I'm just saying, like, I like the way that she approaches. And then the other thing is, I really like Taylor and Daniel.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah. They're like golden couples.

[Ad]

They are cute.

[Alex]

Can we just talk about how she's a Pisces and he's a Taurus, and then Taylor and Garrett from our season are a Pisces and a tourist.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

So is that the magic?

[Alex]

I don't know what it is. I just thought about. Sorry.

[Marissa]

And they both had, like, families that are similar with, like, strong marriages from, like, both their families. And.

[Alex]

Yeah, it was very similar.

[Marissa]

They're both weirdly into Christmas.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

Well, I mean, like, yeah, they both brought Christmas things.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Marissa]

Like, it was so cute.

[Ad]

Wait, how did y'all think about the. The fact that she thought he saw her before, that he knew who she was? And, like, going through the Instagram, I.

[Alex]

Wanted to go on his Instagram, see if there was an actual photo of him sitting by the Christmas tree with a glass in his hand, but I.

[Marissa]

Think it wasn't him.

[Ad]

Yeah, I don't know. Do you think it was him?

[Alex]

I don't know. What was that about? That was very strange.

[Marissa]

She looked at the follower list.

[Alex]

Yeah, but it was very strange. It was very strange.

[Marissa]

You know what? I really like Brittany.

[Alex]

Love Brittany. And I think that's who Devin should have ended up with.

[Marissa]

No, I don't think Devin deserves her.

[Ad]

Oh, why?

[Alex]

Well, there we have that.

[Ad]

I love Brittany. I thought she was very powerful. I thought she was very strong, very beautiful, very, like, opinionated, very much living comfortably in her skin.

[Marissa]

She really stood.

[Ad]

And I don't think he handled her well. Personally, I don't think he was horrible.

[Marissa]

But I love how she didn't like the way that he responded. And I love how she just said, I want more for myself. I just was like, I was kicking my feet, like Brittany. And it also made me sad that, like, we're still in this realm of society where I was Telling her this earlier, just, you know, just your past relationship and with a specific gender or contain something that. I thought Devin and Brittany had a really good connection.

[Alex]

Like, it seems so loving basketball.

[Marissa]

It was.

[Ad]

Everything is basketball.

[Alex]

I was so over the basketball.

[Ad]

God damn.

[Marissa]

Yeah, it was basketball, hoop dreams. But they let that one man get in the way. Like, that's one.

[Alex]

No, I could not deal with the hoop dreams anymore.

[Marissa]

But the gender thing, like, her being.

[Alex]

Yes, yes. Like, she's the coach and everything. He's a coach. That's why they would have been great together.

[Marissa]

But it's because of the stigmas. And it's like, if he had just let that go, he could have had a really good life with her. We don't know that. But I'm just saying, like, we get in our own way. Yeah, I'm gonna get woo woo on you guys. But, like, I just feel like society really just gets in our own way in that sense. Like, they really.

[Ad]

Well, okay, if you really. If you really think about it, if you kind of fast forward to, like, the last few episodes that we saw. He also has some strong political views.

[Alex]

That he was hesitant, very confused.

[Ad]

Hesitant to talk about.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

And I feel like I haven't seen politics and sexuality and, you know, as much as I've seen in these past few seasons, like, it's become a thing. And I feel like when I was kind of watching him in bed while she was. While Virginia was kind of talking about, like, abortion rights and stuff, he was kind of clammy. And so I feel like very much in that pod, he probably wanted to be like, mm, not my thing. Don't accept it. Don't accept equality. Like, and I'm just. These are my words. He never said that, but I just feel like the way he kind of clammed up and was like, yeah. While she's talking about it, I don't know. I feel like he also has some very strong views.

[Alex]

I mean, I was saying to her earlier, I was like, well, notice how Virginia was saying, I think women should have rights to, you know, do what.

[Ad]

They want with their own bodies.

[Alex]

But then he's like, I think a man should also have a say. And I'm like, what? We're not really talking about a relationship. We're talking about people in office having rights over women's bodies. So I don't know. I think he was trying to dance around it and then say, oh, well, my family is conservative. So just like, okay, just say, did you.

[Marissa]

It's like this fear of being left out.

[Alex]

Of the.

[Marissa]

Left out of the conversation. Left out of, like, it's like, we're not talking about men's choices when we're talking about women. Body choices. For some reason, this need for them to be in the conversation, it's just like.

[Alex]

I think there's just a lack of awareness with him.

[Ad]

Yeah. And I think that plays a lot of the reason why he did not pick Brittany. Because on paper before, she said that they were fine. And it's not like, oh, you're gonna leave me for a woman. That wasn't the issue. It was. You dated a woman. Yes, that's the issue.

[Alex]

Which is fine. I think. If you don't want.

[Marissa]

I don't think it's fine.

[Ad]

But speak on it. I don't think it's a line. You don't want to date.

[Alex]

We also talked about this.

[Ad]

It's fine.

[Marissa]

I just don't. I don't think it's. I mean, I know everyone has their own preference, but it's like.

[Ad]

But that's. That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's not a preference thing.

[Alex]

It's.

[Ad]

He's standing firm in his political and religious beliefs. That's not the preference.

[Alex]

He's not. It's. He. I don't think he's for.

[Ad]

He doesn't see it as being. Okay.

[Marissa]

No, no, I understand that. No, I got that.

[Alex]

I don't think he's for the community for that. I think it was bigger than just her being.

[Marissa]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Ad]

Yeah. Oh, you.

[Marissa]

I didn't get that. I mean, I didn't get that from that conversation with Brittany. I thought it was kind of what we saw with, like, Carlton and what's her. Carlton in the first season.

[Alex]

Oh, and Diamond.

[Marissa]

Diamond, like, kind of what. We saw that, but just like the reverse.

[Alex]

No, he was actually.

[Marissa]

Oh, well, no, I mean, not the same reaction, but I'm saying, as far as just like processing it, yeah, he.

[Ad]

Didn'T do it there. And he'll probably never admit it. And these are also words that we're probably putting in his mouth. But what I gather with the brain that God gave me, when he was in the bed talking to Virginia, he has some deeper rooted things that he was not gonna say to that girl in the pot. And he probably spared her. And he's okay to have his, you know, religious and political views, and I think he spared her, but I think it slipped out with Virginia, Lauren and Dave.

[Alex]

Ugh, I cannot stand Dave.

[Ad]

I feel like she was just trying to state her case, and she wasn't trying to hear it. And it's just like, for me, I'm only gonna have that argument once or twice, and we moving on or we moving on. I'm not gonna keep reiterating that this is something that I did. This is way before you, none of your fucking business, to be honest. And you're not gonna keep dragging me and try to belittle me and take me off the pedestal that you put me on. You came in here not having sex. That's not on me.

[Marissa]

Yeah, allegedly.

[Ad]

Allegedly. Because as we know, with these love is blinds, somebody gonna come out and be like, well, actually.

[Alex]

Actually, I picked him up.

[Ad]

I dropped him off at the airport.

[Alex]

Just wait, Daniel.

[Ad]

Just wait. Just wait. Right. Damn, Daniel.

[Marissa]

I just don't see the chemistry between them. Like, I know to me, I see someone.

[Ad]

I think he's a dick.

[Marissa]

Yes. But I think it's more complex. And I think, like, you bring in his. I think he has, like, mother issues that he needs to work through. And, like, his need to have this approval from his sister, who is, like, I guess stepped in as his mother figure. And it's like he wants to be loved so bad. He wants to love someone. He doesn't know how to do it. And then he finds Lauren, who's like a naturally nurturing person. He talks about how she's so motherly, and it's like he's seeking that in her. But I'm like, what are you seeking in him, Lauren? Cause I don't see what it is about him that she likes. I never really got it.

[Alex]

And that's why I was like, I feel like she just really wanted to get married because I don't really see.

[Marissa]

He'S not being sweet. Like, every time in Honduras, when he would. Everyone's talking about their couples, he kept talking about negative things with her, how she slept, how she did this. And again, that could be an edit or whatever. But it just felt like, you know, where is the connection here? Like, I didn't feel that.

[Ad]

There's not an ounce of humility in that man. And I think we saw a glimpse of it at the pod party, whatever it's called, when he was just, like, fucked up one was he. His mouth was moving in slow motion. Two times speed.

[Marissa]

Two times speed. I thought he looked like a wounded, sad girl.

[Ad]

That man looked drunk and full of regret.

[Alex]

Full of regret.

[Marissa]

No. Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah, I saw that. But I'm like, he looked like a sad, kicked down boy. I'm like, you need to go home.

[Ad]

And fix yourself, Wash your face and drink some water.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

Did y'all feel bad for him in that?

[Alex]

No.

[Marissa]

No. I feel bad for everyone on the show.

[Alex]

Oh, my God.

[Marissa]

Oh, my God, you guys. Humans are complex. We're not one dimension. So it's hard for me to be, like, this person's evil when I'm only seeing, like, one dimension of them.

[Ad]

Yeah. Definitely not calling him evil. But what you're not gonna do is play in Lauren's face, break her down, have her crying. That girl hadn't smiled since she left the damn pods. Every scene she's crying and he's breaking her, breaking her down and making her question her character. It's like she's allowed to hook up with somebody the night before the show. Should she cheat?

[Marissa]

That conversation should have been dead.

[Ad]

Like he should have done and de. Dead. Dead and dying.

[Marissa]

The deed is done. We're broken up, and she's not gonna take that man back.

[Ad]

What are we talking about?

[Alex]

Prime example of mass manipulation.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Alex]

He's manipulating her. He's trying to. It's kind of, like narcissistic.

[Marissa]

He's trying to manipulate her. I don't think he. I think it's working.

[Ad]

No, it's not working.

[Marissa]

And that's why I think I really like this cast of women. Because we are seeing them like, we're seeing some tactics on them, but I am seeing them process through it and work through it and make the right choice at the end, but at the.

[Alex]

Same time, being very people pleasing.

[Marissa]

That's their process.

[Alex]

A lot of people pleasing.

[Marissa]

Let them process their process.

[Alex]

Sarah was people pleasing.

[Marissa]

Let her process.

[Alex]

She's gonna want people pleasing. Virginia was.

[Marissa]

I think. I think you're right. I think you're right. But I think that's their process of getting to where they're at. And at the end of the day, they made the right decision for themselves. Like, they're gonna say no.

[Ad]

Who's gonna say no?

[Marissa]

Sarah's gonna say no. Lauren already walked away, and when he came back to her at the all cast party, she was very. It seemed she was very like.

[Alex]

Now I think all of them are gonna say no, except for Taylor and Daniel.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

So if you were on season eight of Love is Blind, which men from the season do you think you would have vibed with the most in the pause?

[Alex]

Look at your face.

[Ad]

She's not even letting me get it out.

[Marissa]

I'm vibing with everyone. No, I'm just kidding.

[Alex]

None of them.

[Marissa]

Daniel.

[Alex]

Not one.

[Ad]

Why?

[Marissa]

He has a Presence about him that's so very calming and stable. And he seems so very genuine, and I gravitate towards that.

[Ad]

He's very sweet. Yes.

[Marissa]

Just seems so sweet. And so I think I would have talked to Daniel, probably talked to Joey just for the fun of it.

[Alex]

We would have.

[Marissa]

No, but, like, think of Joey's like, bowden, like, we're gonna be back.

[Ad]

You just want to go have fun.

[Alex]

You're gonna be the Monica girl.

[Marissa]

Bye. And then probably that's.

[Ad]

That's it. Yeah.

[Marissa]

What about you? That's it.

[Ad]

The face.

[Alex]

I guess my name, Twin Alex is probably the closest. Maybe Alex.

[Marissa]

Was he shown?

[Alex]

Yeah, Alex with Madison. Madison.

[Marissa]

Oh, yeah.

[Alex]

I liked him.

[Marissa]

I do like him a lot.

[Alex]

I liked his perspective on a lot of things.

[Marissa]

I do too.

[Ad]

He had some hard boundaries.

[Alex]

He did.

[Ad]

He's like, that's not gonna work.

[Alex]

His boundaries made sense, though.

[Ad]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And it wasn't like he was not a people pleaser.

[Ad]

He questioned everything. That would have been a bad, bad, bad batch for me. I'm not even gonna hold you. That would have been a shit time.

[Marissa]

I wouldn't have made it.

[Alex]

I wouldn't have gotten engaged.

[Marissa]

No. I wouldn't have gotten engaged.

[Ad]

No, no, no.

[Marissa]

Imagine if they stuck our cast into, like. No, that wouldn't.

[Alex]

There would be.

[Marissa]

There'd be no engagements.

[Alex]

Maybe one maybe.

[Marissa]

Yeah. No, they're very pg and I. I don't know.

[Ad]

The whole thing is pg. The whole show is pg.

[Marissa]

Okay, fine.

[Ad]

It was very G. Very G. Very white, too.

[Marissa]

Very white.

[Ad]

Extremely white. If we can talk about an all black cat, majority black cast. Yeah, we could talk about. We could talk about. My God, that's the show to watch.

[Alex]

But I feel like Minnesota's pretty diverse.

[Ad]

No, I couldn't tell you. All I know about is the Vikings.

[Marissa]

Even if it wasn't diverse, like their conversations and even just like the couples in general, I just feel like it was very superficial for the most part. Obviously there were conversations, but they weren't really going there and they weren't. There wasn't.

[Ad]

And I feel like Jenny was trying. She'd be like, is there anything else you want to talk about? Is there anything? And he's like, nope.

[Marissa]

I was waiting for her to drop something.

[Ad]

That's what I'm waiting for.

[Marissa]

They gotta be trying to tell this man.

[Ad]

But I just felt like overall it was just kind of white bread. Just vanilla ice cream.

[Marissa]

Yeah.

[Ad]

Just. It wasn't bad.

[Marissa]

It wasn't good.

[Ad]

People picking, like, even. I think at one point Dave was like, yeah, we're just two regular people. And I'm like, we know, we know.

[Marissa]

We are here for normal.

[Ad]

We're very normal, very regular. We're watching y'all be normal as fuck.

[Marissa]

Y'all are very nice. They seem very kind.

[Alex]

That's why I said girl pleasing.

[Ad]

Mm. Okay. So y'all, that was amazing. I just kind of wanna just like, recap a little bit. Something that resonated with me the most was just how we were all able to relate as black women on one in reality tv, in this space, like in this industry, and being in relationships with black men and how it's not, you know, everything that glitters isn't gold and this whole black love stigma. And people think black love equals perfect love. And that's not it at all. Like, love is hard and hurts for everyone. We all feel it. And I think being in a space where we can kind of dismantle that black love is regular love. It's just with two black people. And it's just like, y'all argue, we argue, y'all fight, we fight. And I think being able to kind of show that on TV and then survive and find new love and be strong and be proud of who we are, I think that's something that resonated with me the most. I'm proud of y'all. You guys have been amazing. Thank you so much for joining me. This has been a wonderful, wonderful conversation. I love when we can get real. And Kiki, I love that. So thank you so much for bringing that lovely energy. And I also want to thank you guys for tuning into another episode of what's the Reality? I love you guys. Be sure to join us every Wednesday. I'll have some really amazing guests and we can all laugh and Kiki together. Follow me on socials at whatstherealitypod and I'll see you next Wednesday.

[Treadwell]

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[Unknown]

The quarter pounder with cheese had many great things. Maple flavored griddle cakes isn't one of them. McDonald's breakfast comes first.