The Ultimatum's Ashley & Killian: Two Sides, One Messy Breakup

Summary

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What's the Reality? – The Ultimatum's Ashley & Killian: Two Sides, One Messy Breakup

Host: Amber Desiree (AD)
Guests: Ashley & Killian (from The Ultimatum, Season 4)
Date: July 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This emotionally charged episode of What's The Reality? grants listeners both sides of one of reality TV’s most talked-about breakups. Ashley and Killian, fresh from their turbulent on- and off-screen relationship on The Ultimatum, share raw insights into their split, the realities behind the drama, coping with public scrutiny, and the journey towards self-discovery. Host Amber Desiree (AD) steers two unfiltered interviews, pulling back the curtain on what was seen…and what wasn't.

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Ashley’s Side: Lessons, Loss, and Living Free

The Aftermath of The Reunion (01:49–02:19)

• Ashley notes a shift in public perception after the reunion: “I was getting like, I think a little bit of hate at the beginning, but when the reunion came out, I think they were like, okay, good, you got your head on straight. Finally. I was like, thank God.” (02:09)

Breaking Point & Relationship Dynamics (02:19–05:17)

• Long-Standing Behavior: Ashley reflects on repeated behavior patterns: “After five years, if you’re still doing the same thing… I had to do what’s best for me.” (03:11)
• Killian’s Injury & Caretaking: Ashley became Killian's caretaker after he tore both Achilles: “I took it as in sickness or in health... I will go all into it till the wheels fall off. But... I don't deserve this." (04:08–04:33)
• No Contact Attempt: She tried a ‘no contact’ period, but Killian continued reaching out: “He was emailing me and I was like, if you would have given me my space, I might have...” (04:44–05:04)

Family, Grief, and Personal Growth (05:46–06:49)

• Ashley’s father’s protective instincts: “He just wants the best for me, and he knew that’s not what I deserved.” (05:52)
• Discusses the recent loss of her mother and the strength required to attend the reunion in her memory: “I have a bracelet that says, ‘what would mom do?’ So it's like, oh, I love, carry her with me everywhere.” (06:19–06:40)

Post-Show Friendships & Single Life (06:52–08:49)

• Unexpected Friendship With Haley: After the show and mutual breakups, Ashley and Haley (her former rival) formed a bond: "...it's like, good to have a little trauma bond, right?" (07:54–08:04)
• Happily Single: “Dodged a few bullets again... I'm open and happily single.” (08:33–08:41)
• On Killian’s Persistent Interest: “Girl, he's been trying to be back in this bed...I would be put in a straight jacket if I let that happen.” (08:49–09:05)

The Motivation for The Ultimatum (09:17–11:07)

• Ashley details her “Southern girl” values and desire for marriage, inspired by her family: “I always wanted that...I love kids, and I want that on my own.” (09:17–09:40)
• On joining the show: “They reached out to us a bunch of times, and we just kept saying no. And then they're like, take one interview...That sounds just like what we have.” (09:58–10:11)
• Admits lack of boundaries or preparation before filming: “We didn’t really have any boundaries…just going through the experience.” (10:29–10:44)

Trust, Infidelity, and Boundaries (11:17–12:44)

• Despite Killian’s history, Ashley trusted easily: “I trust so easy. I’m like, okay, you tell me one thing, I’m going to believe you...I've learned my lesson now.” (11:23–11:46)

Key Explosive Moments (12:45–17:01)

• The Infamous Four-Way Fight: Ashley reveals there was a second, unseen group fight, and that Killian often used derogatory language off-camera: “He was calling me a ho ho…just insecurities on his end…and it pushed me and Blake a little bit closer.” (13:19–13:44)
• Phone Drama: Expresses regret that production didn’t confiscate phones; social media only fueled drama: “I should have just gave my phone up myself because that would have been best decision for me. But I'm like, such a rule follower.” (14:14–14:41)

Drama With Blake & Reflecting on Her Choices (17:01–22:47)

• Details confusion and manipulation from Blake, and the ongoing cycle of drama: “The more I got to know him, I saw this switch to where...he would, like, ask questions to try and get reactions out of me, and it just felt very like he was trying to, like, put on a show.” (18:44–19:00)
• Biggest Lesson: “I think I need to speak up more and stand up for myself. I'm very bad at doing it.” (20:42–21:11)
• On why she said yes to Killian’s proposal: “I'm delusional. I literally thought that man was gonna change. I don't know.” (21:26–21:31)

Post-Breakup Reflections (22:18–25:32)

• Perspective After Watching the Show: “Everything, really. I don't know why I just kept letting him roll run all over me.” (22:28–22:31)
• Friend & Family Reactions: “They're like, thank God you left him.” (23:31)
• Redefining What She Wants: “I just want someone who, like, puts me first...and I want someone who does that for me too.” (25:13–25:32)

Confessional Booth – A Lighthearted Behind-the-Scenes Story (25:45–26:39)

• Ashley shares a moment where she and Blake joked that two ducks were tracking them because of all the surveillance and drama, symbolizing the paranoia and intensity: “We go, are they tracking us again?...If they had, like, hidden cameras on the ducks. Yeah, we're like, oh, no, they're following us.” (26:02–26:23)

On the Reunion, Abuse Allegations, and Closure (29:57–32:41)

• Clarifies Allegations: “I don’t think Killian is abusive...but we did have a big, big fight...a lot of his behavior is caused when he drinks.” (29:57–30:26)
• Shocking Incidents: Describes hiding in a closet, destroyed phones, Killian drinking, and feeling like a caretaker for a “teenager”: “Why didn't I go? I don't know, but…” (31:33–31:43)
• Final Reflection: “You had to save yourself. You had to go.” (32:34–32:38)

Final Advice & Growth (36:07–36:32)

• When asked what she’d tell her past self: “Listen and look at things at face value and for what they are, don’t be in your Delululand…Stop being so positive, girl. Watch. Use your eyes.” (36:19–36:31)
• Ashley’s closing mood: She’s moved to Dallas, spending time with family, open to the future and grateful to be in a healthier place.

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Killian’s Side: Sobriety, Regrets, and Setting Records Straight

Post-Show Recovery and Regret (37:00–38:38)

• Killian describes a “rollercoaster of emotions,” but emphasizes self-work: “I got sober for about, like, four and a half months. So I stopped drinking because I felt like it was kind of getting in the way of my life and was affecting things. And then from there, I just kind of was getting back to myself.” (37:03–38:00)
• Notes the mental toll after filming: “It was…hard to get back to reality because someone's always telling you what to do at every specific time…” (38:16–38:38)

Timeline, Injury, and the Breakup (38:48–39:56)

• Outlines show filming, his double Achilles tear, time living with his parents, and Ashley’s departure: “Ashley decided to leave or end the engagement...in September, officially.” (39:12–39:39)

Aftermath of the Split & Social Media (40:00–41:56)

• Social media reactions were mixed: “People are pretty upset…Not great DMs…But there are quite a bit of positive DMs as well, people just saying…you can always grow from things.” (40:45–41:28)
• Addresses rumors: “...tons of hate messages about everyone, I guess on the cast being like MAGA or right side, which is not true.” (41:42–42:01)

Communication With Ashley & the Fearsome Foursome Secret (42:37–47:48)

• Details their communication post-show: “...as much as I want to be there for her...it's also not my responsibility anymore.” (43:15–43:42)
• Reveals secret about Ashley and Blake’s intimacy (“makeout and cuddling”) not disclosed to him until much later: “They all basically spilled it to me. That’s how I found out.” (44:39)
• “I was more upset that Ash let it get to the point to where she wouldn’t have even told me before we got engaged.” (45:37)

Origin of The Ultimatum Appearance (49:16–51:23)

• Killian thought casting would be a joke: “I even got tired towards the second, third interview. I'm like, why are we doing this? They're not going to pick us...” (49:22–50:30)
• Both saw TV as a career move (especially for Ashley’s social media): “It’ll help social media…we’ll breeze through this…” (50:32–50:34)

Choosing Haley, The Love Square & the Four-Way Blowup (51:25–55:48)

• Initially wanted Alex, but picked Haley due to Ashley’s jealousy: “She told me that if I pick Alex, that it wouldn't end well for us...so I had to pivot quickly.” (52:09–52:27)
• Describes frustration amid the group drama: “Ashley’s trying to play it off...acting like there’s nothing between her and Blake, which I knew was BS from the start.” (54:02–54:21)
• “Ashley and I had got out of the apartment...went and met each other, you know, off camera and talked about the situation…didn’t like the answers.” (54:21–54:42)
• On the night Ashley and Blake connected: “I want to say it was before [the four-way fight], but...I believe it was that night, though…” (57:01)

On Toxic Masculinity & Group Chat (58:05–61:08)

• Admits the group chat was “excessive” and is no longer speaking to those friends: “...just really digesting how harsh those texts were, I just decided to kind of take a break from the group chat…” (59:05–59:32)
• On regret: Wishes production had confiscated phones: “Honestly, lock my phone away. And not even been able to use it. That’s the biggest issue that we had.” (61:13–61:20)

Did He Actually Say the “Modest” Comment? (65:20–66:52)

• “No, but...when you’re filming the show...At some point, honestly, I started to wonder if I did say it. I’m being completely serious...But no, I didn’t think I said it...” (65:30–65:53)

Confessional Booth – A Lighter Moment (67:36–68:26)

• Shares a story of an umbrella flying into a pool during a date with JG, and accidentally hitting her with a pole: “Maybe why they didn’t show that scene. What else?” (67:36–68:18)

Phone Incident & Breakup Fallout (68:30–77:29)

• Ashley’s Allegations: Killian acknowledges breaking Ashley’s phone but clarifies no physical abuse: “I’ll admit that. Yeah. When I look, when I saw her own, I threw it, obviously it hit the floor and it broke, which was wrong. I will obviously admit that and take all accountability...” (71:57–72:23)
• Breakup Details: Ashley quietly found an apartment, shut off her location, then broke the news: “She...told me, you know, I’m moving out in a few days after. Yeah. So, yeah, I helped her pack...” (77:29)
• Perfect Match Interview Drama: Killian reveals that Ashley accused him of sabotaging her casting for Perfect Match, which he denies: “I was at work blowing up my phone about a week later...You ruined my chance of being on Perfect Match...you being ridiculous right now....” (79:40–81:21)

Closing Thoughts: Regrets and Moving On (81:49–82:42)

• “I wish the show would have shown more of the really nice side and loving side of me towards Ashley in our relationship. I don't feel like that really got shown too much...But, yeah, I have closure...We're all just ready to move past this.” (81:49–82:42)

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• Ashley on Learning from Hurt:
  “I just think I need to speak up more and stand up for myself...I'm doing that more nowadays, and it's obviously not been as bad as I thought.” (20:42–21:11)

• Killian on Accountability for Group Chat:
  “I guess I just took it too lightly and didn’t take it the way that I should have and didn’t respond the way that I should have. So at the end of the day, you know, I’ve kind of just had to, you know, take my mistakes to the chin and learn from them.” (58:10–58:23)

• Ashley on Why She Gave an Ultimatum:
  “I’m like, four years later. Come on, dude. Like, get it together. So it's like, if you're not gonna do it now...we're never getting married.” (09:44–09:51)

• Killian on What He Wishes He’d Done Differently:
  “Just honestly locked my phone away...I wish I could have been able to keep a more level headed attitude towards...how I would get angry on the show.” (61:13–61:20, 61:47–62:12)

• Ashley’s Advice to Her Past Self:
  “Listen and look at things at face value...Don’t be in your Delululand…Stop being so positive, girl. Watch. Use your eyes.” (36:19–36:31)

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Key Timestamps for Major Segments

• Ashley Recaps the Split & Killian’s Injury: 02:19–05:17
• Ashley on Friendship With Haley: 06:52–08:49
• The Four-Way Fight & Phone Drama: 12:45–17:01
• Ashley’s Confessional Booth Story: 25:58–26:39
• Ashley Details the Alleged Phone/Abuse Incident: 29:57–32:41
• Killian on Post-Show Life & Sobriety: 37:00–38:38
• Killian Reveals the Hidden Makeout: 44:39–48:04
• Breakup, Apartment Move, and Casting Accusations: 76:06–81:32

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Themes & Takeaways

• Cycles of Mistrust and Poor Conflict Resolution: Despite love and optimism, recurring unhealthy patterns persisted both on- and off-camera.
• The Perils of Reality TV: Both Ashley and Killian acknowledge the pressures and distortions brought on by the process; key moments—including fights, infidelity, and even off-camera secrets—often spiraled out of control in the unique environment of the show.
• Accountability & Growth: Both guests, in their own ways, express regret and recognition of their own faults, and cautiously look forward to more authentic, healthy connections.
• Reality Behind the Drama: Many details never aired, including a second explosive group fight, the relentless surveillance and suspicion (“the ducks are watching us!”), and the stress inflicted by social media and unresolved rumors.
• Finding Self-Worth & Moving Forward: Ultimately, both Ashley and Killian’s stories end with intentions to put the past behind them and hold higher standards for future relationships.

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End Note:
This episode is a must-listen for those fascinated by the fallout of televised relationships—and what happens when reality TV meets real life. Both Ashley and Killian face the mess head-on, leaving us with the raw truth, lessons learned, and a surprising amount of hope.

Transcript

[Ashley]

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[Announcer]

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[Killian]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

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[Interviewer]

Well, that's shocking for this, but, I

[Ashley]

mean, it's the truth.

[Killian]

They all basically spilled it to me. That's how I found out.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my God. I'm just taking this all in because she was just here the other day and I didn't hear any of this.

[Killian]

Yeah, yeah, of course not. They were going to the grave with it.

[Interviewer]

What's the Reality?

[Ashley]

What's the Reality?

[Interviewer]

What's up, you guys? And welcome to another episode of what's the Reality? As you guys know, there are two sides to every story, and today I'm giving you both. I am speaking with Killian and Ashley from the Ultimatum. Yay. Okay, Ashley, welcome to what's the Reality?

[Ashley]

Hi. Thanks for having me.

[Interviewer]

I'm so happy to have you.

[Ashley]

You're so excited to be here.

[Interviewer]

You're like a little Polly Pocket.

[Ashley]

You're the cutest thing ever.

[Interviewer]

So welcome.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Interviewer]

How you feeling, girl?

[Ashley]

Good.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

I mean, fine. As good as I can be.

[Interviewer]

You look good.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Interviewer]

The reunion just aired.

[Ashley]

Nuts.

[Interviewer]

What has the audience response been like for you? Do you feel like there's any misconceptions online that you want to clear up before we get into the juice of it all?

[Ashley]

I mean, I was getting like, I think a little bit of hate at the beginning, but when the reunion came out, I think they were like, okay, good, you got your head on straight. Finally. I was like, thank God.

[Interviewer]

So we do know that you and Killian are no longer together. Can you walk me through, like, the ending and how that all transpired?

[Ashley]

Yeah, I mean, I. Like, obviously on the show, there was a lot of, like, behavior that was shown, and the behavior just kind of, like, never ended. And it was just, like, over and over about, I would say, like, two, two and a half months. And I was just like, I can't do this anymore. And I think when you start, like, not seeing children with somebody, it kind of, like, flips a switch in your head. Wrap it up.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And I was like, I just. I couldn't. I mean, I think women, like, kind of feel it before it happens. And I think I gave it the best shot I could, and I just decided to walk away. But, I don't know. I gave him chance after chance, and I think after five years, if you're still doing the same thing, I mean, after one year.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Yeah. But I mean, I just. I had to do what's best for me.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. So on tv, was that behavior. The behavior. Is that new behavior, or was that something you're used to?

[Ashley]

I mean, I don't think it was all five years of that, but definitely that's been a cycle of, like, his behavior towards me. And I'm just a little naive. And I just. I have a big heart, and I don't like to give up on things, so.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. So at what point did you realize the relationship just wasn't gonna work?

[Ashley]

It's. I basically, like, kind of when he got into this accident. I'm not sure if you heard or seen about it. He tore both of his Achilles.

[Interviewer]

No, I didn't hear about that.

[Ashley]

Yep. So he was in a wheelchair for quite a bit. And I took on a big role of taking care of him. He couldn't drive anywhere. He couldn't cook.

[Interviewer]

How do you compare two Achilles Cheerleading?

[Ashley]

Yeah. I mean, we were trying to play around, and he just snapped.

[Interviewer]

Both at the same time.

[Ashley]

At the same time. So then I just felt like I was taking care of a teenager at that point, and I think it just got a lot. And the behavior just, like, escalated. I mean, Will. I mean, of course, he was, like, going through a hard time, but the person that's taking care of you, I mean, it's. I took it as in sickness or in health. I'm gonna take care of you, and I'm gonna. I'm a ride or die. Like, I will go all into it

[Interviewer]

till the wheels fall off.

[Ashley]

And it's just like, I don't deserve this.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

I can't do it.

[Interviewer]

And that's when you were like, this is just when you broke up. Or.

[Ashley]

I mean, he was. He was. He was walking and, like, driving.

[Interviewer]

Okay.

[Ashley]

But I mean, I gave it like a two week trial and I was like, hey, I need no contact. I need to, like, see if your behavior is going to change. He did not. That man don't know how to keep no contact. We know that.

[Interviewer]

Right. That's the one thing.

[Ashley]

He was emailing me and I was like, if you would have given me my space, I might have. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Interviewer]

Showing me.

[Ashley]

So I came back and I was like, no. So I literally, like, toured an apartment. I didn't say anything because I'm like, I'm gonna, like, make this decision. See how I feel. I came back and I was like, hey, I. I got my own apartment. I'm out.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And I canceled the lease. And I was like, I can't do it.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. What'd he say?

[Ashley]

And begged me to stay and that he's gonna change. And I was like, I've heard this

[Interviewer]

story before and that was it. Haven't looked back.

[Ashley]

Nope. I try to, like, be cordial and friends because, like, I'm not a type of person to, like, hate or hold grudges. And I can be friends, but he just can't be friends.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't think I could be just friends with you either. You're so hot.

[Ashley]

You're so cute.

[Interviewer]

Carol, your dad was a huge part of your story this season. Has he watched the season yet? What does he think of everything?

[Ashley]

Oh, yeah. And he's like, see, Ashley? And I'm like, okay. Like, you were right.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ashley]

But no, he's just, like, very protective. Dad should be. He just wants the best for me, and he knew that's not what I deserved, so.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Dad's always clocking early.

[Interviewer]

Listen. They know because they know.

[Ashley]

They know. They know.

[Interviewer]

On a different note, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Interviewer]

How are you holding up with everything?

[Ashley]

Good. I mean, there's been a lot of distractions, but I mean, I. I mean, the reunion was two weeks after, so I. I didn't know if I was going to do the reunion or not, but me and my mom were, like, planning to go together. I'm not gonna cry, but. So it was like, I just. I knew that's what she would want me to do and finish what I started, so she kind of. I have a bracelet that says, what would mom do? So it's like, oh, I love Carry her with me everywhere.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

That's so special.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Oh, I love that. I'm so sorry again. I'm so sorry.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Interviewer]

I can't even imagine. So you're. I'm sure you're making her.

[Ashley]

I'm trying to.

[Interviewer]

You've been posting a lot on social media with Haley. What's your relationship with her looking like?

[Ashley]

So. So we obviously did not have a great relationship on the show. We were kind of, like, feuding. But after the show and after I moved to. I ended up moving to Dallas. I moved from Miami to Dallas in February. We both kind of heard through the grapevine. We were both broken up with our exes and we both lived in Dallas. So, I mean, it kind of started with just a little bit of like, oh, hey, like, in a group chat. And we're like, hey, like, y' all live in Dallas. And then I kind of, like, threw the idea out there. And it took, I think, a little bit of us getting comfortable before we went and sat down for lunch and kind of slowly built a relationship. And then.

[Interviewer]

What's the timeline on that? This is pre show airing.

[Ashley]

Yep. I would say beginning of April. Like, we finally got to sit down. I moved in February. April. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. And then how is it watching everything now that you guys are so. Or closer?

[Ashley]

It's good that, like, I think watching it back, I mean, now that we're talking through everything, I'm like, we were dating the same person.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Like, honestly.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Yeah. So it's, like, good to, like, have a little trauma bond. Right. Like, we can get through it. Right.

[Interviewer]

So what have the past few months look like? You're in Dallas, you're making new friends. Are you single? Are we dating? What is the tea?

[Ashley]

Oh, my God. I have been living my best life.

[Interviewer]

Life.

[Ashley]

Like, I have never, like, been less, like, more stress free until I guess, like, my mom's thing happened. I've been going back and forth to see them, but before that, I mean, I've just been living it up. Going on dates.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Dodged a few bullets again. Yeah. But I've been going on dates. I'm open and happily single.

[Interviewer]

Happily single.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

So are the DMs open?

[Ashley]

Oh, for sure. Definitely open.

[Interviewer]

Is Killian sliding in the DMs?

[Ashley]

Girl, he's been trying to be back in this bed.

[Interviewer]

Do you think he wants to rekindle?

[Ashley]

I mean, I wouldn't say today. Yeah, I mean, he would if I, like, if I allowed it, but I would be put in a straight Jacket. If I let that happen,

[Interviewer]

I feel that. Okay, moving on. Let's dive into this season. So you are the one that issued Killian the ultimatum. What got you to that point?

[Ashley]

I am just a Southern girl. I, like, always want to be married. My parents got married, had kids, 18, like, right out of high school. They were high school sweethearts that married 32 years. So I kind of, like, was raised that way in my entire family, so I've always been a family girl. They're my closest people. They're my best friends, and I just always wanted that. And I, like, love kids, and I want that on my own.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Yeah. And you felt like, I'm gonna bring this man on tv.

[Ashley]

Well, I'm like, four years later. Come on, dude. Like, get it together. So it's like, if you're not gonna do it now. Yeah, we're never getting married.

[Interviewer]

And he was just open to the idea of coming on tv and.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Were you guys scouted, or did you apply?

[Ashley]

No, they. They reached out to us a bunch of times, and we just kept saying no. And then they're like, take one interview. We were like, okay. And then we were listening. We're like, okay, that sounds just like what we're going, like, what we have. So we're like, okay.

[Interviewer]

Had you watched the show prior. Mm. And you were like, this is a good idea.

[Ashley]

No. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm obviously delusional.

[Interviewer]

So. Okay. So. Well, before filming, did you and Killian ever talk about your boundaries and what they would look like in the child marriage?

[Ashley]

No. I mean, we talked about, like, if sleeping in the bed was a problem. We were like, I mean, I trust you. Doesn't. Doesn't. I don't think we didn't really have any boundaries. Like, we were just, like, in going through the experience, the show, like, before.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And he was like, because I'm trying to get into the heads of people that, like, apply or go on ultimatum. Like, trust me, I did. Love is blind and perfect match, and, like, I've done some crazy shit, but, like, ultimatum. Like, you really?

[Ashley]

I was like, well, I'm four years in. I want to get married.

[Killian]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley]

I was like, I mean, it's got to work, right?

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

I'm like. I was dead set. I was like, we're definitely making out of this. Come on. Really? Well, I was like, I trust him. I love him. Like, I didn't think he'd act like that, but.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Did his past infidelity make you nervous? About going into the experience.

[Ashley]

I mean, I've always. I've never really been, like, insecure about it or anything. It's never, like, bothered me because I trust so easy. I'm like, okay, you tell me one thing, I'm going to believe you. And I'm like, don't let it happen. It's just I've learned my lesson now, obviously, but I'm just. I have, like, very. I don't know, I have a big heart. So I just trust everything that's told to me. Still today, I think I'm doing better at it.

[Interviewer]

Okay.

[Ashley]

Better. I'm still working on it. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Okay.

[Ashley]

We're working on it.

[Interviewer]

I love that. So what was it about Blake that made you choose him?

[Ashley]

Well, he gave the ultimatum or Blake gave the ultimatum too. So I was like, I definitely want to want someone with the same, like, values as me. And Blake worked for his dad. He had the Miami and Texas connection. He kind of gave me that, like, I don't know, like the, like, same vibe as Killian. I was like, maybe I'll have a different perspective though, because he's on the other end of it. So that's what made me choose him. But I was very back and forth between him and Luke.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ashley]

But end of the day, that's who I chose.

[Interviewer]

Spooky, from your perspective, who initiated the four way fight between you, Blake, Haley and Killian?

[Ashley]

I think that was very much all four of us.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

I mean, you can't blame one or two. It was all of us. We all had a. A play in it. I mean, I really wish we did not have those phones.

[Interviewer]

I know they should have been confiscated. What was it like watching that bat months later?

[Ashley]

I mean, it was a hard watch because, like, I was sitting there like, in distraught. I mean, you see me with my hood on and I'm just like bawling the whole time. And. And it was hours and hours and hours of just like defeat. And that was only 30, 10 second clip, whatever it was. But. So it was like a little bit of like, not a shock, but it was like, you know, kind of a little bit traumatic.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Were you. Are you like. Well, I guess. Were you used to that kind of language in your relationship?

[Ashley]

Oh, yeah. He was calling me a ho ho. That. That wasn't shown, but he was doing that like before that fight. And that wasn't the only fight before the fight.

[Interviewer]

Like during filming.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Or like just during your relationship, like

[Ashley]

off camera, he would say it. Huh. So it was like a lot of Just, like, insecurities on his end. And I think it just, like.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Ended up getting to me to where it kind of pushed me and Blake a little bit closer.

[Interviewer]

Right. I mean, naturally, what is going on?

[Ashley]

But there was another four way, like, apartment fight that wasn't shown.

[Interviewer]

Well, tell me about it.

[Ashley]

It was the same thing

[Interviewer]

for hours.

[Ashley]

Hours.

[Interviewer]

What was this one about?

[Ashley]

And same thing.

[Interviewer]

Did you end up blocking each other and then unblocking again?

[Ashley]

Yeah. Well, because, like, when you. We blocked on inst. Or text messages, then it started going through social media.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And I'm like, at that point, I should just gave my phone up myself because that would have been best decision for me. But I'm like, such a rule follower. So Killian would, like, be mad that I wouldn't give him reassurance and text him or come meet him. And I would be so back and forth on, like, what I should do. I'm like, I. I love him. And, like, I came here to marry him. Like, why am I not giving him that?

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

But I'm like, a rule follower, so I'm like, I went back and forth on it a lot.

[Interviewer]

So the fight that we saw was at the first one or the second

[Ashley]

one that I think is the first one.

[Interviewer]

That was the first one.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And then it happened again.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my goodness. Oh, my gosh.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Okay, so whose idea was it to post your dates?

[Ashley]

Everyone was posting on their stories. And it wasn't that bowling clip. That's not what I posted. That was like, on the, like the, like, vlog phone they give you.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Oh, really? That's not so funny.

[Ashley]

I posted, like, a picture of Sushi, not a Blake and me. Like, that's weird. But he was just. And I. It's crazy because I got like, a text being like, you do not need to be posting on social media. I'm like, everybody's doing it.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And I thought it was Hailey telling on me. Turns out it was my biggest odds.

[Interviewer]

Wait, because I had a question. Like, obviously, like, people back home, they don't know that you're going through this experience. So, like, I'm like, well, why would you post another man?

[Ashley]

No, I was opposing another man.

[Interviewer]

That's what I'm saying. Like, it didn't make sushi make any sense.

[Ashley]

Sushi or a pickleball court. Or, like, nobody in it.

[Interviewer]

But were other couples posting their child person? No, just, like, just the events and stuff.

[Ashley]

Like.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And I do social media, so, like, I'm actively on.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ashley]

Social media. So that's nothing new. Like, he's delusional.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my gosh. Do you wish they would have just taken you guys phone?

[Ashley]

Oh, yeah, I wish. I. It's. I say it on there. I'm like, you could just take it right now.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. What would that look like? Because during these trial marriages, you're kind of half in the real world and half not. So at what point? Like, what would that even look like if they did?

[Ashley]

I honestly think, like, I could have gotten a better perspective of, like, understanding and. Because there's a lot of he said, she said thinking people are lying. And I think I would have just seen it for how it was.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ashley]

Yeah. You know, instead of Blake telling me what's going on, and I'm like, who do I believe? This guy I've been dating for four and a half years or this guy I just met?

[Interviewer]

Right.

[Ashley]

And that's why I, like, had so much trouble battling that. But I think if I was taking it for face value and killing a knot in my head, saying that's not true, I probably would have listened.

[Interviewer]

Or at least like, the phones in the apartment or. No, like, when you're outside, maybe, like, they can't really control it, but, like, in the house.

[Ashley]

Just take them.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, just take them. Oh, my gosh. That's so interesting.

[Ashley]

I should have just gave it up. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Okay, so moving on to Killian's group text messages. What was going through your head when he showed them to you?

[Ashley]

Man, I. I don't even know. I'm, like, watching it back. I'm like, I should have reacted way differently, but in my head, I, like, just wasn't. I mean, I. You saw I was not thinking about anything.

[Interviewer]

Does he talk like that with his boys around you?

[Ashley]

Not that. That, like, Vi. Like, yeah.

[Interviewer]

Vulgar. Vulgar. Yeah.

[Ashley]

I don't know what I'm saying, but, yeah, that. Not that vulgar. I mean, guys, like, talk crap, but not like that.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, that's a different level.

[Ashley]

Yeah, I mean, I'm like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what I was thinking. I definitely should have said something more. But I'm, like, trying to convince myself he's still a good guy, you know? Very wrong.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. So now, looking back, do you believe that Haley was telling the truth about the modest comment?

[Ashley]

Absolutely. That man is.

[Interviewer]

No, you opened it.

[Ashley]

He's a. He just lies. Yeah, he can't help but lie. Like, he posted me. I was having a baby the other day. What?

[Interviewer]

That was him?

[Ashley]

Yes, he posted that.

[Interviewer]

What's Going on?

[Ashley]

I don't know.

[Interviewer]

Does he have a baby?

[Ashley]

No, he don't have no baby. Crazy.

[Interviewer]

Okay, so your child marriage with Blake seemed strong until the end. Things got a little weird.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

When did the change start?

[Ashley]

Me and Blake got very close at the beginning because I think we, like, relied a lot on each other because it was very insecure on, like, the other end of things. So we kind of, like, were like, oh, my God, what are they doing? And we could talk through it.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And I just, like, the more I got to know him, I saw this switch to where I was, like, he would, like, ask questions to try and get reactions out of me, and it just felt very like he was trying to, like, put on a show.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And I just didn't like it. Like, when I confronted him at the beagle rescue thing, our date, I was just trying to tell him, like, can we keep the. Like, keep our trial marriage with us? Like, let's not mention Haley and Blake's name or Haley and Killian's name. Just keep it between us and how we can grow. Like, I don't want to bring them into it. We've done enough of that.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

That's all I was saying. And I was trying to say, like, hey, you're manipulating my. My own head. Like, not Haley. Yeah, I wasn't meaning she was manipulating. I was just saying there's a lot going on.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ashley]

And then he disappeared for two days and then denied it. And I'm like, dude, you're not going to the movies by yourself. But when he, like, tried to, like, we. We kind of ended that conversation after the little go kart driving thing, whatever it was, and we ended it on good note. I was like, you know, I may have misinterpreted it. Try to give him the benefit of the doubt. And then he brings it back up when we get to the apartment. I'm like, dude, we just got over this. Why do you want drama?

[Interviewer]

He just kind of gives that. He likes to talk in circles and likes to confuse. Like, use that tactic of, like, saying a lot of nothing to make you now feel like you're the one in the wrong.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And I just cannot even, like, even watching. I'm like, I need to fast forward this because now he's tricking my brain. Like, he's just doing some kind of mind tricks, and I'm just like, I can't keep up. I can't keep up. Were you dealing with that most of the time?

[Ashley]

It's. It's. He. It Gets very defensive.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And he likes to be right.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And he will never, ever take accountability. Ever.

[Interviewer]

No.

[Ashley]

So it's like if you not accuse him of something, but if you bring something up, he doesn't like it, he's got to spin it back on you. And that's where that happened. And I was like, yeah, I'm out, Gotta go. But, you know.

[Interviewer]

So what would you say was the biggest lesson you learned in your child marriage?

[Ashley]

Oh, in my trial marriage. I mean, definitely. I just. I think I need to speak up more and stand up for myself. I'm very bad at doing it and speaking my mind because I hate confrontation. So I'll sit there and I'll just like nod and I don't need to do that. I need to like speak how I feel. And I'm doing that more nowadays. And it's obviously not been as bad as I thought. So I'm trying, but I think I would have. I learned that from my drama marriage.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Yeah. That takes some practice. Practice. It takes practice. Especially like you said, you're a lover girl. Like it takes practice. Yeah. You'll get better. Don't worry.

[Ashley]

Working on it. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

After everything we watched, why did you still say yes to Killian's proposal?

[Ashley]

I'm delusional. I literally thought that man was gonna change. I don't know.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

I'm like three weeks.

[Interviewer]

Do you think it had had anything to do with kind of how you guys went in? Like you were so optimistic that you would be engage that you kind of held on to that thought of, no matter what, I'm leaving here engaged.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And I just don't like to give up on things. I'm like, we can work through it. And I'm like, if our trial marriage was like getting better, like why couldn't it continue to get better? Leaving the experience? But that just wasn't the case.

[Interviewer]

And you guys lives were intertwined before. Like you lived together and everything was. You guys were doing everything together.

[Ashley]

Businesses, llc. So when we broke up, it was a full on divorce.

[Interviewer]

Oh my goodness. Did you win?

[Ashley]

No. I said I gave up. I was like, I don't take it. It's not worth dealing with.

[Interviewer]

Really, girl,

[Ashley]

wave the white flag. I was like, I've gotta go.

[Interviewer]

That's how you know it's bad. So was there anything you watched back that made you realize the relationship was more unhealthy than you understood while you were living it?

[Ashley]

Everything, really.

[Interviewer]

Anything in particular?

[Ashley]

I mean, like, I don't know why I just kept letting him roll run all over me. Yeah. I mean, there. Just one thing after another, and I'm like, I don't know. Next episode, I'm like, oh, my gosh.

[Interviewer]

Did you. Did y' all watch it together?

[Ashley]

Me and Killian?

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

No, we weren't together.

[Interviewer]

No. Did he check in on you when the episodes were rolling out, or did you guys talk during it at all?

[Ashley]

Oh, wait, we were ice. We were.

[Interviewer]

No, I mean, like, while the show aired.

[Ashley]

Oh, no. I mean, not. I mean, kind of. I don't know. I mean, like, I feel like I have a heart because I watching it, I was like, oh, he's gonna get a lot of hate. And of course, I'm like, okay, welfare check. Like, you good?

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ashley]

But nothing really, like.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Like, I didn't know. He said the whole, hey, guy cheated on her thing. I had no idea. Never told me after. I don't know. There's a lot. I was like, the kissing when he was like, should have kissed her already. I was like, oh, God.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

What about your girlfriends? What are they saying? Are they like, we told you?

[Ashley]

Yeah. They're like, thank God you left him.

[Interviewer]

Really?

[Ashley]

Like, could you imagine if you're with him watching this back? I've been really bad.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my gosh. So is it just, like, safe to say that everyone on your side is, like, a sigh of relief?

[Ashley]

Oh, yes.

[Interviewer]

And they're happy that you came?

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Is it something that they've been seeing and you just kind of been blind to.

[Ashley]

Yes, they've been telling me for a while.

[Interviewer]

Really? And you're just like, no, like, he's good, girl.

[Ashley]

Like, I don't know the best, like, good sides of him, like. But no. Yeah, I'm gonna be in arranged marriage at this point.

[Interviewer]

Love is blind.

[Ashley]

They don't trust me.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my good. But we're working on it.

[Ashley]

We're working on it.

[Interviewer]

That's the title. We're working on it.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Okay. So how has this experience changed what you're looking for in a relationship?

[Ashley]

I mean, I think I got a little messed up to where I don't have a type anymore. So, like, I'm kind of like, I don't know. This is the first time I've ever been single.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

So I'm like, I don't know. Just dating, figuring out what? Like, yeah, what? Like, I don't know what characteristics I like and don't like and figuring it out as I go.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. I think you had one hell of a start to your dating life. Yes. And if It's. If I can give any advice, please go for the nice guy, the kind guy, the sweet guy, the one that. His locker talk is still the same when he's around mom and dad. Because there's a difference between what we're saying to our boys, what we're saying to our girl, what we're saying to our family and friends. But it should all be, you know, a level of respect.

[Ashley]

I agree.

[Interviewer]

And I think. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[Ashley]

No, I mean, I think most importantly, I just want someone who, like, puts me first. Like, seeing that I'm like, I'm over here defending him over and over and over again. And his thing was saying I don't defend him enough to my dad, and I'm like, did you watch what I watched? Because I defended you and went at bat for you, and I want someone who does that for me too.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Like, I want someone to put me first.

[Interviewer]

You deserve that. Yeah. You deserve that. Okay, let's play a little game.

[Ashley]

Uh oh.

[Interviewer]

Before we get into the reunion, we're gonna do something a little bit different. I'm gonna ask you to step into my what's the reality? Confessional booth.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

Okay. So you have 60 seconds to give us the juiciest behind the scenes story from the ultimatum that did not air. The funnier, the messier, or more surprising, the better. You ready?

[Ashley]

I'm ready.

[Interviewer]

All right, clock starts now.

[Ashley]

Something really funny that didn't air is me and Blake were on a date, like, in a picnic style date. And we were like. Haley and Killian were just so much like they were tracking us. They were doing these things, and two ducks walked by, and we go, are they tracking us again?

[Interviewer]

Like, if they had, like, hidden cameras on the ducks.

[Ashley]

Yeah, we're like, oh, no, they're following us.

[Interviewer]

Wait, was it that intense, like, them watching you guys?

[Ashley]

Yeah. I mean, just. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Why, though?

[Ashley]

I don't know who, like, was doing what, but, yeah, I just. That trial marriage.

[Interviewer]

Interesting, huh? Wait, I do have a question. Would you do it again? Knowing all that, you know, would you do that again?

[Ashley]

I don't think so. No, I don't think so. I. Hopefully I don't have to get to that point. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

If you are in a relationship in the future and you feel like you need to give an ultimatum, what decision do you think you will make?

[Ashley]

Run. Shouldn't have to give an ultimatum. He should want me.

[Interviewer]

Correct. Good answer. You are working on it. You know what's going on?

[Ashley]

We're growing.

[Interviewer]

Okay, so let's talk reunion.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

At the reunion, you said it felt like the four of you were playing a giant game of telephone. After watching the season back, did you finally get clarity on what was happening, actually happening?

[Ashley]

I don't think there was really much clarity. I think it's it was just telephone. We were all one thing would be said to another and it just, I think just circulated drama. And it was just drama over and over and over again. Because if, like, Killiana should have been my, like, we shouldn't have been texting anyways. But if we're texting, why are you sharing that to someone you just met? Like, you should have been my safe space. And he was sharing everything I was saying with Haley and then Blake sharing me texts with Haley and it was just a big mess. Mess.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

So it's like I don't think there's any, like, clarifying anything. It just shouldn't, shouldn't have been like that.

[Interviewer]

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[Ashley]

I'll clarify. I don't think Killian is abusive. That's not like, what I mean at all. But we did have, like, a big, big fight that in every. Like, a lot of his behavior is caused when he drinks. And I don't think he acts like that all the time. When he's not drinking, it's not like that, but majority of the time, it's when he's drinking. And this is like, when he's in the wheelchair or whatever and in a

[Interviewer]

wheelchair, drunk with attitude, girl.

[Ashley]

But he would just. Yeah, absolutely not. It's. Yeah, it just got bad to where, like, he would, like, tuck the phone under his butt, and I try to grab it, and I try to grab it and, like, this is not funny, but slams the phone on the ground, front, back, destroyed.

[Interviewer]

In a wheelchair.

[Ashley]

In a wheelchair. And then he just. I would've said, I don't go too far into it, but, yeah, then I, like, ended up running down to valet because I don't have a phone, and I'm calling my mom. I was like, y' all need. Y' all need to come, like, get me. So the only place he couldn't fit his wheelchair was the closet. So I hid him there. And that wasn't, like, what did it. I mean, I still stayed for a few weeks after that.

[Interviewer]

What an insane image I have in my head right now.

[Ashley]

But that's what made me go visit my family for, yeah, a while. And I don't know what the fuck, girl, I'm telling you. I even dragged him to, like, get his blood tested because he kept lying about drinking. He's like, I didn't drink. He'd hide it under the bed. Hide it in certain places. I dragged him to a clinic. What did that thing say? You're lying. Duh.

[Interviewer]

Wait, like. Like a drug test clinic?

[Ashley]

Yeah, where they, like, test your blood to see if you've been drinking or not. I'm telling you, I was taking care of a teenager. Why didn't I go? I don't know, but.

[Interviewer]

And what did he say when the results came back?

[Ashley]

Oh, it had to been my mouth. Oh, you don't.

[Interviewer]

It had to be my mouthwash.

[Ashley]

I'm telling you, girl, it was just excuse after excuse. And then I was like, I'm going to my parents. To. We need a. No contact for a few.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

For a bit.

[Interviewer]

And that's when he started emailing you?

[Ashley]

Yeah. And then I came back and I was like, I can't. They were. You know, they're like, how can you do this? I don't know if the. What point the. The phone thing happened to when I. Whenever the drug test thing happened, but it all happened.

[Interviewer]

It all happened nonetheless. Okay, well, that's shocking.

[Ashley]

He's gonna hate me for this, but, I mean, it's the truth.

[Interviewer]

Well, he can't hate you for his reality. Like, that's. I mean, if that's what he's doing, being drunk in a wheelchair, not your fault.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

You had to save yourself. You had to go.

[Ashley]

Okay, I had to go.

[Interviewer]

You had to go. You had to go.

[Ashley]

Had to go. Qjd.

[Interviewer]

Someone had to run. What was the most shocking thing about the other couples that you learned during the reunion?

[Ashley]

The other couple. The most shocking thing.

[Interviewer]

I'm, like, watching everyone talk and then the facials that you all were making.

[Ashley]

Like, oh, I thought I was gonna have whiplash at the table. I was like, whoa. Because I was in the middle, and I'm like, whoa, whoa. Looking at Nick Lachey and then looking down. I mean, I feel like everyone's like, I don't know.

[Interviewer]

I'll go.

[Ashley]

Okay, you go.

[Interviewer]

Did everyone have, like, some sort of. And I know this is not funny or a joke, but did everyone have some sort of, like, police involved physical altercation? Like, I feel like four out of the. However many had some kind of problem. Yeah. Major issue.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

From the time you guys rap to the time the show aired.

[Ashley]

And it's not. It wasn't, like, occurrence of the show. I mean, obviously, we all had these issues before. It just.

[Interviewer]

The show, it just.

[Ashley]

Yeah. Heightened it and, like, enlightened us, you know, and it just. I mean, helped. I think a lot of us figure out we're not supposed to be together. Yeah, thankfully.

[Interviewer]

So was there anything in particular that was like, oh, my God.

[Ashley]

Well, the arrest, that was, like, big news. Yeah, that's been all over tmz, but,

[Interviewer]

yeah, that was insane.

[Ashley]

I think that's been. I think, the biggest shocking thing. And then.

[Interviewer]

You didn't know about that before. Well, the reunion.

[Ashley]

Before the reunion, I knew.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

When it came out, it was like, I think, a bigger shock.

[Interviewer]

I think the whole thing all around was very disturbing.

[Ashley]

Disturbing is a good word.

[Interviewer]

Disturbing is a good word. Disturbing is a good word. So back to Blake's arrest. You said you knew about it. Before it came out. What are your thoughts on the whole situation?

[Ashley]

And this is a tough spot for me because me and Haley have built a friendship, but I obviously wasn't there in that moment. But I don't. I hate this because I don't. I wasn't there, but I don't support it. Yeah. You know, I mean, something had to have happened for him to get arrested. I wasn't there, but I. I never felt physically unsafe with him in my trial marriage. But I don't know who people are when you get back home and behind closed doors, that's. That's not on me. But, I mean, it's screwed up. I mean, I hope they get some clarity, because it's a lot of he said, she said right now. And there's some receipts that should be. There are receipts coming soon.

[Interviewer]

Tea. Well, I'll be on the lookout for those.

[Ashley]

Yeah. But.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, Dang. Okay. But do you feel like you got a chance to speak your mind, say your piece, say your side of the story? Is there anything that you feel like you want to clear up?

[Ashley]

I don't know. I think the biggest thing. Everyone was just waiting for me to go, and I'm like, here I am. Yeah, I'm done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. I mean, I made my redemption arc. I'm working on it.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

I love that. So you've moved to Dallas. What is next for you?

[Ashley]

What is next? I just been spending a lot of time with family, my friends, and just not taking life so seriously and enjoying the moment. So whatever comes at me, we'll see. Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Any more tv? Any more reality tv?

[Ashley]

We'll see.

[Interviewer]

We'll see. I like that answer. Okay, well, before we go, if you could go back and give Ashley, who issued the ultimatum, one piece of advice. What would you tell her?

[Ashley]

Listen and look at things at face value and for what they are, don't be in your Delululand.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Yeah. Stop being so positive, girl.

[Interviewer]

Watch.

[Ashley]

Use your eyes.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ashley]

That's it.

[Interviewer]

Okay, well, you're a new girl. You've made some big girl decisions, some big girl moves. You're here, you're smiling, you're glowing, and that's really all that matters. Like, I'm rooting for you. I know the world is rooting for you. So I just want to thank you for joining me here on what's the Reality?

[Ashley]

Thank you for having me.

[Interviewer]

You're so sweet and so cute, and I look forward to seeing what. What else comes your way.

[Ashley]

Thank you. Well, you too.

[Interviewer]

Thanks.

[Ashley]

Girl.

[Interviewer]

Welcome to the podcast. Killian. How are you?

[Killian]

Thank you, man. I mean, I'm doing well, but it's a roller coaster of emotions. You know, one day I'm like, I'm doing great. And then the next day I'm like, here we go with these comments. And, you know, I'm like, I want to, like, text everyone back and reply back. And I'm like, no, just. Just let it be, you know?

[Interviewer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Killian]

It's a whirlwind of emotions.

[Interviewer]

I can only imagine how you're feeling right now, but I guess you could tell us, now that the reunion is out and all the episodes are out, what's life been like for you?

[Killian]

Well, after the show, I got sober for about, like, four and a half months. So I stopped drinking because I felt like it was kind of getting in the way of my life and was affecting things. And then from there, I just kind of was getting back to myself. You know, I felt like I lost myself for quite a little while, maybe a few years or so while being in the relationship, and I just got back to fitness business and, you know, the things that I love and also taking a lot of time to, like, just sit down with myself. Honestly, for quite a while after the show, I really didn't even hang out with friends or anything either. We were kind of in a weird headspace where it was, like, hard to get back to reality because someone's always telling you what to do at every specific time point of the day. Yeah. So I kind of felt lost after the show for a little bit, and then just basically I've been, you know, getting back to myself.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Well, you remind me of the timeline. So when did you guys film? When did it wrap? How long after was the reunion? Like, what's. I can't quite piece it together.

[Killian]

February, March, April. I want to say we started filming around March, ended in May. Like, I think two weeks into May, we ended up March of 2025. Yeah. Of last year, correct. Yep. Then two and a half weeks later, so, you know, I tore both my Achilles. I was in a wheelchair for, I don't know, maybe seven months or so total. That was really harsh on Ashley and I. And obviously, I would say even more so on Ashley just because she, you know, had to take care of me for the four months that she was there during that period. And then, I believe, you know, Ashley decided to leave or end the engagement. Sl Breakup, I want to say, in September, officially.

[Interviewer]

Okay.

[Killian]

And so then I went and lived with my parents until about January just because obviously I couldn't take care of myself while I was in the wheelchair and. Yeah. And then ever since then, kind of just focusing on, you know, myself. And then we got back to the

[Interviewer]

reunion after that and just everything reignited.

[Killian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I was talking about this to someone not too long ago. I, if the reunion was, I believe that show was supposed to air in December. That was the timeline they had. So then we would have done the reunion in November. That would have just been such a completely different reunion than the one that we, we had, you know, because Ashley and I were still kind of hanging out even though we weren't, you know, we were broken off or whatnot. And same thing with some of the other couples. So it's interesting to think how that reunion would have went back then.

[Interviewer]

A lot of time in between for things to happen. What has the reaction from the viewers on social media been like for you?

[Killian]

I mean, there's multiple of them. I mean, obviously there was the complete screw up and not thinking about what I was saying in the text messages, which obviously is a whole story. People are pretty upset about that, which I don't blame them, you know, and I kind of deserve to get that heat anyways with the comments. There was the, the shut the up comment said to Ashley, Yeah, not great DMs, you know, and comments about that. And then, I mean there are, there are quite a bit of positive dms as well though with people just saying, you know, keep your head up. You can always grow from things, you know, it, it depends on how you'll handle the things with how the outcome will, will be. And then for some reason I'm not really sure. Well, maybe it's the Biden and the chickens comment I said about Haley, but a lot of people are just sending tons of hate messages about everyone, I guess on the cast being like MAGA or right side, which is not true. True at all. But yeah, that's one of the. I've gotten a lot of dms about that.

[Interviewer]

It's not true that you're MAGA or the cast is maga.

[Killian]

Well, I, I voted for Biden, but I would just be honest with you at the time. But yeah, I don't, I think 90% of the team, or team, 90% of the cast is not even right sided. I don't believe.

[Interviewer]

Interesting.

[Killian]

Unless I miss misjudged.

[Interviewer]

But yeah, I mean the, the people, they come to their own conclusions. There's really not much you can do about it. So that's not Even a people just make up their own shit all the time. So you kind of spoke about it a little bit, but have you and Ashley spoke since the show aired and, like, around after reunion and whatnot?

[Killian]

Yeah, we've spoken for sure. I mean, you know, obviously her mother passed away recently. I believe it's been probably eight weeks or so, which is extremely sad. And like, she had us, you know, super close spot or soft spot in my heart because she was just always there for. For everyone. So that was extremely hard to kind of figure out a balance between, I guess, trying slash wanting to be there for her and also sort of realizing that as much as I want to be there for her and would like to be for that situation, it's also not my responsibility anymore. And she has other people in her life that are now, you know, taking care of her that way or helping her through that process, which was hard to kind of stop reaching out and seeing if she needed anything. Right. But, yeah, we, We. We had been speaking. We went into the reunion. I thought we were going into the reunion peacefully. I don't feel like that was the case. I feel like she jumped gun pretty, pretty hard right when she got asked the first question, which is fine. But yeah. And then after that, we got back from the reunion, we were still speaking, and then we had a little fallen out or falling out, I would assume, based off her unfollowing me and her not answering my text, because I believe she thought that Blake was going to go online and tell everyone that, you know, that they had made out and been sleeping in the bed together, cuddling and stuff on the show without telling anyone. So she told Haley, I think, to try and, like, keep the friendship so that it didn't come from Blake. And then, you know, Haley, Alex, Jevin and I got on FaceTime or they called me late at night and they all basically spilled it to me. That's how I found out.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my God.

[Killian]

Sorry, go ahead.

[Interviewer]

No, I'm sorry. I'm just taking this all in because she was just here the other day and I didn't hear any of this.

[Killian]

Yeah, yeah, of course not. They were going to the grave with it until she thought she was. Blake was going to turn on her, I guess, which I don't think he was, but yeah. So Jebin, Alex and Haley FaceTime me late at night around midnight, before I left for Chicago last week and told me, you know, that situation the next morning. I believe Jebin had gotten Blake to kind of. Or Jevin had told Blake that, you know, it's not right of you to not tell Killian. Which I already knew because they told me, but so he ended up calling me and having, you know, a conversation about it. And at the end of the day, for me, you know, Blake's not my girlfriend boyfriend. I'm not in a relationship with him, so what he did doesn't really matter to me. But, yeah, I was. I was more upset that Ash let it get to the point to where she wouldn't have even told me before we got engaged. And then even after the show, it's like, possibly knowing that it would come out. I feel like just a simple, hey, I am sorry that it happened during that time. And that's it, you know, because obviously we're not together anymore. She doesn't really owe me apology or anything, but that's what I would have done. So now we're not on speaking terms since she unfollowed me and hasn't gotten back to my messages.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my goodness. Okay, wait, so you said Haley was on that call. Aren't Haley and Ashley, aren't they kind of forming a friendship? Why was she on that? FaceTime?

[Killian]

Yeah, I definitely. I mean, I would. I wouldn't even say they're forming a friendship. I'd definitely say they're pretty good friends.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

Which I, you know, I have no issue with. But why was HALEY on the FaceTime? Probably because she wanted to see my reaction. I don't really know. They were already on FaceTime and then, I guess, talking about it, and then they called me just to tell me because they felt like I needed to know. And then Haley was like, how do you feel about it? Like, being told that and stuff? And I was like, I really don't care anymore. I'm kind of moved past that. It's not my relationship anymore, you know? Am I upset that, like, it happened and I was never told and we got engaged and that if all four of us, the Fearsome foursome, had stayed engaged, that it would have gone to the grave with them and never been told. Yeah, I'm upset about that.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

Because that's not right. But now it's like, whatever. And Haley's like, you're a better person than me.

[Interviewer]

Did. Did Haley just find out as well? Or did. Did Blake tell her?

[Killian]

Yeah, no, no, no. Haley found out through Ashley, I think, because I believe. Because for some reason, Ashley thought that Blake was gonna go tell a podcast.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

So I think she wanted to, like, get it off her chest before Haley finding out through a podcast.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my do you.

[Killian]

But Haley and I are on. Good. I mean, I don't know about good terms, but yeah. Yeah, we're fine.

[Interviewer]

Do you know if Ashley and Blake are still in communication? Like, are they still friends?

[Killian]

Not anymore. Yeah, they were. They were communicating for a bit, but I think this whole, you know, whatever. Getting together, whatever you want to call it. Yeah, split that up.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my. That is some tea. I'm about to have her come back. She didn't tell me none of that.

[Killian]

Why would they? It was under the rug.

[Announcer]

Right?

[Interviewer]

I'm sure that footage is somewhere, huh?

[Killian]

No, no, no, it's not. It's not. It was off cameras. They left. They. They stayed after part of it, like filming, date episode or whatever you want to call it. They were filming a date that night. They stayed back, apparently. And then after production left, and then I believe it happened either there or in the Uber on the way back and whatnot. So there was no cameras, which is obviously, like. I. You know, I can't prove what I'm saying unless actually, like, say it, but I believe Blake mentioned it in one of the last podcasts. He did slightly, but yeah.

[Interviewer]

Jesus. Okay, well, thank you for clearing that up. That adds a little bit more spice to this story. I'm so glad we're getting both sides because what the hell? How did you and Ashley end up on the show? Whose idea was this?

[Killian]

So I got a DM from. I believe they're called casting directors. Is that what they're called?

[Interviewer]

Yep.

[Killian]

Yeah. So I got DM from a casting director, and he had already. We'd already been DM DMing about other shows, but obviously they were all, like, shows that you had to be single on, so they never worked. And then this just randomly came by and I just. To be honest, I told Ashley as like, a joke. And I never in my life thought that they would pick us, to be honest with you. You know, I even got tired towards the second, third interview. I'm like, why are we doing this? They're not gonna pick us. You know, we're like, doing these hour long interviews, and then randomly. I want to say it was like two weeks before we had to go film. They're like, all right, we think we are going to choose you guys. And we were kind of like, shit, do we. Do we actually go do this? And we were like, you know what? Yeah, let's go do it. It'll help social media, because Ashley was doing social media full time at that moment, and we were like, what a. I mean, can't Be a better idea to go do that. We'll breeze through this, and it'll help Ashley's career with social media.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my God.

[Killian]

And obviously, it was the complete opposite of that.

[Interviewer]

Wait, so what was the state of your relationship when you guys agreed to go on the ultimatum?

[Killian]

We were actually in a. In a really good place in our relationship at the time. I hadn't been working out for a while. I kind of let myself go in the relationship just due to stress and, I don't know, always trying to do what Ashley wanted to and etc. But at the time, we were waking up at 5:30 in the morning, you know, eating well, doing really well in our relationship. Yeah. And we had just had no idea that it was gonna be like this. To be honest, at some. Sometimes I do think about it, and I'm like, if we never went on the show, I mean, we were on such a good trajectory at the time, maybe things would have been different. But at the end of the day, you know, everything happens for a reason.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

So.

[Interviewer]

So let's talk about your trial marriage. You chose Haley. Why? Why did you choose her?

[Killian]

All right, so to start off, I was. And this is no offense to Hayley, Haley, you know I adore you. But at first, I was going to pick Alex.

[Interviewer]

Oh.

[Killian]

So Alex was my first choice during the mixer or whatever you want to call it. That's in the lounge where Haley gets really mad or aggressive at Blake. At the beginning of the episodes, I was sitting there laughing with Alex, and Ashley just yelled like, f you to me, like, out loud across the seats or the lounge chairs. And I was like. I was like, what the hell?

[Interviewer]

Oh, gosh.

[Killian]

And so, I don't know. She was upset that Alex and I were, like, cracking up in one of the little lounge chairs. And she told me that if I pick Alex, that it wouldn't be. It wouldn't end well for us.

[Interviewer]

So what does that mean?

[Killian]

I had a pivot quickly.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Killian]

Which again, no offense to Haley.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

I have a blast with Haley when we're on good terms. I love laughing with her and everything.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

But. Yeah, and that's kind of what happened. And the way that I ended up being with Haley at first, then once I was with her at the beginning,

[Interviewer]

we had a blast, you know, so interesting. Okay.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

So walk me through the hours long fight between you, Haley, Blake, and Ashley. From your perspective, how did that start?

[Killian]

Haley and I were at a dinner. She was pretty. I believe she was upset already or a little bit mad. About something. I don't remember exactly what at the time. She's like, do you know what they're doing? I was. I have no idea. How would I know? And so she shows me her phone, shows me their location. I'm like, oh, that's weird, because Ashley texted me not too long ago saying that they left or they just finished filming and they're leaving the location. She's like, no, they're still there. And I'm like, oh, that's weird. And so then, you know, she kept looking. Slash we kept looking, because now I'm, like, interested on what the hell is going on. You know, I'm not going to lie. Like, I kept looking with her and. Yeah. And then they ended up staying after production left and then ended up going. I forget where they went after, but they ended up their third spot or something was like, at a spot that Blake has taken Haley before. In Texas.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

Which she did not like that. She was like, it's a really nice place where you go get wine and everything. And I'm like, oh, God, here we go. And so that happened the next day or so. We end up, you know, Ashley's trying to play it off or act like they weren't doing that or spending extra time together just to do it. And, like, acting like there's nothing between her and Blake, which I knew was BS from the start. And then Ashley and I had snuck out. Not snuck out, but Ashley and I had got out of the apartment, our apartments, and then went and met each other, you know, off camera and talked about the whole situation. I wasn't too pleased with the answers. And then I can't remember how I got ended up on the phone call, but I believe Haley told me, like, just call her instead of texting back and forth. So I called her. And that's kind of where you see that scene where I'm like, I just don't understand what you mean. You have an emotional connection and. And that he's, like, caressing your thigh, you know, six days in. And then she had, you know, she admits the emotional connection part on the phone. And I believe that's when, like, Haley's got real upset or started to get more upset. And then Haley's. Haley's a no BS person when it comes to confronting people. So she. She made that. She made that decision real quick and told Blake's ass to get over to the apartment. And of course, it was supposed to be just Blake and her, I believe. But then Blake had Ashley come with her. And so the fearsome foursome ended up together in a basically crash out event until the next morning.

[Interviewer]

Prior to the fight, do you know if the makeout between Ashley and Blake happened before the fight or after the fight?

[Announcer]

This episode is supported by FX's the Shards, a seductive drama from executive producer Ryan Murphy. Set in 1980s Los Angeles, the series follows a group of glamorous, deeply entangled high school seniors drawn into a life of wealth, beauty, parties, and excess. At its center is Brett, whose reality begins to unravel when the arrival of a new student coincides with a series of mysterious murders. FX's the Shards premieres August 5th on FX and Hulu. Adobe Firefly is the all in one creative studio with AI powered image and video generation for today's creative process. Built for creators of every kind, Firefly helps you generate, edit and experiment fast because the asks aren't getting smaller, the budgets aren't getting bigger, and the timelines.

[Ashley]

Ugh.

[Announcer]

Yeah, still tight. With all the best creative AI models in one place, Firefly brings your ideas to life. Unlock a better way to make with Adobe Firefly.

[Killian]

I want to say it was before, but I. I'm not a hundred percent. I believe it was that night, though, when they had stayed after filming and kept going on, you know, other dates throughout the night. So. Which is again, which was what Haley and I were talking about on the phone or AE was saying to me, she's like, see? And then we just act like, you know, we're crazy.

[Interviewer]

Right.

[Killian]

Even though our gut, our guts tell. Like our gut had a feeling. Both of our guts have the feeling about it. And you know, usually that doesn't lie is what they say. Yeah. Sometimes it blows my mind because I'm like, see? And then you're sitting there crying like you're the victim and everything because we're upset when really you're sitting there hiding that fact that just happened.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

And we're not crazy. We just, you know, didn't have the proof to be able to. To show.

[Interviewer]

But unfortunately we do have to talk about that really gross, disgusting group chat with your friends.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Is that how you and your friends normally talk about women? Like, what is going on?

[Killian]

No, it was excessive. And that's like a nice word I would say for that. I. I really don't know what, like, what got into his head to say that. Obviously, you know, I am sorry to Haley and to woman in general. Yeah. I just. I guess I just took it too lightly and didn't take it the way that I should have and didn't Respond the way that I should have. So at the end of the day, you know, I've kind of just had to, you know, take my mistakes to the chin and learn from them. Right. So, yeah, at the moment, I'm not friends with them anymore. I did tell them, like, I needed space and that, you know, after thinking. I mean, obviously I've been thinking about it for quite a while, but after seeing all the comments and everything, just really digesting how harsh those texts were, I just decided to kind of take. Take a break from the group chat for now at least. And maybe that'll change. You know, maybe they'll say something and, like, have a little bit more of an apology. But at the moment, that's kind of where we stand.

[Ashley]

Mm.

[Interviewer]

Haley mentioned that she saw them or him at the. A beach. A pool party. Yeah. Encore.

[Killian]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

Party. Did he bring up that conversation to you or how. How do you feel about that interaction?

[Killian]

Yeah. So, I mean, it's a little bit weird because it's like, you know, like, the text message, as she's mentioned, is, like, disgusting, degrading, etc. And then being able to hang out with him or have drinks with him for however long it was at the pool, it's just a little weird. But either way, at the end of the day, it's her decision. Right. So, I mean, whatever she wants to do. I know that she said, like, please don't talk to me the first time. He's pretty consistent. So he went and asked again a little bit of time after, and then they got. I guess they got into the conversation, he apologized to her, and, yeah, they ended up hanging out for a little bit, having some drinks together and hanging out by the pool. So I think she's still upset about it, which she has every right to. I think she just kind of took the apology as it was and was trying to be nice about it or be forgiving about it, I guess, which also shows, like, her character at times. And she's, you know, a really great person at times, even, because she didn't have to do that at all.

[Interviewer]

So looking back, is there anything you wish you had handled differently?

[Killian]

One of the things I can say, like, I wish I would have done differently or handled differently is just honestly locked my phone away.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Killian]

And not even been able to use it. That's the biggest issue that we had. I don't. First, I don't know why production doesn't do that like they do on other shows that they are already. They've known that it's been an issue in the past and still, you know, don't fix that as well as. Yeah, I wish I could have been able to keep a more level headed attitude towards like how I would get angry on the show. I was definitely getting in zones at times where it was like, you know, the horse blinders were on or whatever you'd like to say, and my eyes were red and I just could not see anything else but like being upset and let me get to that place of like frustration and anger where, yeah, I did, you know, yell. So I wish I just could have came at it at a more level headed place. Yeah, I think that would have made the experience a lot easier. I think also that we went into it literally, I'm not kidding. We went into this thinking it's going to be so easy, we're going to cruise through it. And we didn't put any time into actually thinking that things could not be as easy as we thought. So like, there was no preparation of like, what happens if we get upset? What happens if this. We just literally went free balling into the experience and yeah, we, we. Ashley and I should have probably talked more before we even got on the show or even like during the time that we were still together. Right. For separating.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, I, I agree. And I just think it's still a little bizarre that you mentioned that you guys were in a great place and then you still went on the show. Like, I feel like Ultimatum is kind of like we, we've kind of hit an awkward place, a weird place. You want one thing, I want another thing. But it seems like from what you were saying, you guys were on a. The kind of like the same page overall.

[Killian]

Yeah, we, we were doing better because at the place that we were at before, let's say maybe four months before that timing where we were about to get on the show definitely was a lot rockier. So when I say like a great place, we, we were just in a much better place than where we had

[Interviewer]

been at the time. Wait, you actually, you kind of brought up how angry you would get or whatever. People in the comments think you should have been removed from the experience. Like Jebin, what would you say to the people who feel that way?

[Killian]

In a way I, I understand what they're saying, if that makes sense. Like, I can totally get how, how does just writing a note and saying curse words or whatever the case is of what the note said and what happened there on the show during filming, like, why would he get kicked off and I wouldn't. I totally get that. I don't know. I. Maybe they just didn't do that because. Because I personally didn't say anything in the text messages. I. I really don't know why. I mean, they. We never even had a conversation about that or about me moving to a different apartment or. Or anything. Haley didn't ask me to sleep, you know, on the couch. We were still sleeping in the same bed at the time until later on when we had a little argument and I decided to sleep on the couch myself, just to give each other space. But, yeah, I mean, I don't know. Do I think it's fair, I mean, seeing Jebin's side? I guess not. I mean, I guess, yeah. I guess I should have probably ended up leaving the show. Yeah. I'm not really sure.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. To be honest, let's finally set the record straight. Did you say you would have F'd Hayley if she wasn't so modest?

[Killian]

No, but the reason this is not funny, the reason I said 95% or 90% is because when you're filming the show and. And when you're talking to so many people about it, and there's so many interview questions and people are giving you their opinions and this and that. At some point, honestly, I started to wonder if I did say it. I'm being completely serious. Like, I was like, I've heard it so much that I, I, I'm like, am I even trusting myself? I don't know. I felt. I'm like, I. I don't know. But no, I. I didn't think I said it. I mean, that's why I said 95 or whatever. I said 90. I. I didn't say it. And again, would they have caught that on camera? I mean, Haley and I work together all the time, and we all know those cameras inside the house and everything. Even if it's not the big cameras, I mean, they hear people whispering in the bedrooms and stuff, so. No. And I know for a fact that they would have chopped it up for me to add on to, you know, the text messages and the shut the up, where they would have definitely popped that up, too.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem too far from what you could have said, so I think that's why people are like, I get that. Yeah.

[Killian]

Yeah. 100. And I. I totally understand, like, you know, if people feel that way or think of that, you know, obviously what I showed on or the clips that are shown on the editing or on the screen would kind of portray me to, or not portray me, but would show that I would be the type of person to say that. So I totally understand if, you know, people feel that way.

[Interviewer]

Yeah. So we are going to play a little game.

[Killian]

Okay?

[Interviewer]

So before we do reunion talk, I'm going to ask you to step into my what's the reality Confessional booth. You have 60 seconds to give us the juiciest behind the scenes story from the ultimatum that did not make it to air. The funnier, the messier, or more surprising, the better. You ready?

[Killian]

One of the funny things, I think that happened during the show, JG and I, who's. She's my girl. We were sitting on a date and the wind just started blowing like crazy. And she kept saying the. What's it called? The umbrella was gonna fall at some point. I'm like, nah, it's not gonna fall or anything. And the umbrella literally flies across from us outside of the pole, falls into the water. So I jump in with this pole. I'm trying to lift it out and everything. And then I'm trying to be like, you know, this strong guy and stuff. And I turn around and accidentally hit JG with. With the. With the pole. I'm like. I'm like, great, here we go. Which is maybe why they didn't show that scene. What else?

[Interviewer]

I think that's your time. That's it.

[Killian]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, that was good. Good job.

[Killian]

There's probably a lot more.

[Interviewer]

Yeah, that was good.

[Killian]

Wow.

[Interviewer]

Okay, let's talk reunion a little bit.

[Killian]

Okay.

[Interviewer]

Ashley did mention the incident where you broke her phone and you put your hands on her, which you've denied. Can you talk us through what happened from your perspective?

[Killian]

Yeah, I mean, you were in the

[Interviewer]

wheelchair at this time, correct?

[Killian]

Yeah, yeah, I was in the wheelchair at that time. She decided to go see some friends. They hung out all day. They came back to change at our condo. They were supposed to go to just a dinner. Dinner ended up being. Till, you know, whatever. They went from 6pm to 10pm Then it became 10pm to 12. Then I'm like, all right, what's going on? I could tell she had been drinking quite a bit. She usually doesn't really drink a lot. And the times that she has has always been some type of situation like this. 12 passes by, you know, she's ignoring the calls. She's not given an explanation of what she's doing or anything. Kind of starting to worry me. Or not kind of starting to worry me. It's starting to worry me just because I know what happens when she gets in that state of mind. And then one of the Friends leaves. I called a friend, this girl, and she says, oh, I already left them. She's with. What's his name? Okay, so she's with her friend. He says he's going to take care of her and everything. I end up calling him, let's say, like 2:00' clock in the morning or something. He was like, killian, I can't find her. She's not here. I'm like, God, like, here we go. I'm there in my wheelchair and I didn't know what to do. I mean, what can I do? I can't go drive around to go look for her or anything. I ended up calling her mom, telling her her mom was like, keep me posted, you know, because I was trying to figure out, do I call the police? Do I not? You know, obviously don't. I would rather not include the police at all. The morning comes around, you know, I still haven't slept or anything. I've been calling her phone a bunch to try and, like, hope she would answer or be able to, like, figure out if I could find her location. Went up and down the condo multiple times to try and talk to front desk, talk to valet. I guess she had ended up driving from the friend's condo to, like, a street or two away from ours. Slept in the car.

[Interviewer]

What?

[Killian]

I finally, you know, go back down to valet, like third or fourth time, and they're like, oh, yeah, she just got back. So I realized I must have missed her in the elevator, you know, going up and down. I go back upstairs, nowhere to be found. I call her friend again, call her mom, like, okay, I'm going to call the police. Like, I'm starting a trip out, you know, and the entire time she was like, whatever, listening in the closet. And she was in the closet, kind of like hiding out or whatever. I guess in. In the realm of things she thought. Which I could understand. I guess she thought that I was gonna, like, yell at her and everything. When I was more. I was upset that she wouldn't just say she's okay, instead of putting us all in that kind of stressful situation. Her friends didn't know where she was. Her mom's in a different state. I don't know where she is.

[Interviewer]

Wait, was she in the closet the whole night or like that?

[Killian]

No, no, she.

[Ashley]

She.

[Killian]

That was when I missed her, when she went home. Yeah. So we must have been in two different elevators.

[Interviewer]

Got it.

[Killian]

And then I came back upstairs and. Yeah, I mean, obviously, I'll admit, you know, I'll admit that. Yeah. When I look, when I saw her own, I threw it, obviously it hit the floor and it broke, which was wrong. I will obviously admit that and take all accountability. There's better ways to handle that situation. As far as the putting hands on people, obviously I don't, you know, condone in anything of that sort. But I mean, not. That's pretty obvious, but I feel like it's pretty obvious if I had been hitting on Ashley or anything, I mean, not that I'm a big guy or anything, but like a guy and a girl, like a small girl like Ashley, that it would have been known. So I didn't even catch when she said that in the reunion, to be honest. I actually found out because I haven't even watched the reunion, to be honest with you. I have actually found out because a few of my friends mentioned that she said that that's how I found out. I guess I was, you know, blacked out during the time that we were speaking and didn't catch on to that. So. Yeah, I don't think that's right. Especially when I have multiple friends that she has hit. You know, I have been as well. I'm like, I don't know, it's just. It wasn't needed. No matter how mad you are at me or how upset you were at me for bringing up, you know, her dad, which I understand is a tough subject at the moment, but it just wasn't needed. And I don't think she was thinking about, like, how that could also ruin. I mean, I guess, yeah, ruined my life in a way, for even just saying such a slight thing like that, especially after all the other stuff from the show.

[Interviewer]

So wait.

[Killian]

I just.

[Interviewer]

Wait. I just need you to fill in one. Fill in one blank. So you come up and she's in the closet. How did you get to. Now you have her phone and you flung it or threw it. How did we get there?

[Killian]

Yeah, so I got off the. I got up, I. I started like hearing things and I thought I was. Thought I was tripping out. And then I. So I get out of my wheelchair, get on the floor, and I'm like pushing myself on the floor and to. Into the bathroom. And then. Because I couldn't use that restroom at the time with the wheelchair. And. And then I saw her sitting there. And then I was like, will you get out of the closet? Like, what is going on? And stuff. And she. She was just like super, super upset that I had been calling her, trying to find her whatnot. And then. And then she. We were like, I Think we were just arguing and stuff, and she was, like, trying to record me while I was in the living room because I had. I had gotten to the point of where I was starting to raise my voice, and I just grabbed the phone and flicked it over my shoulder.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my gosh. This sounds like a one hell of a 24 hours. My goodness.

[Killian]

Yeah. Yeah. Which is again, like, I don't mind her saying that things are better now for her at all because, I mean, at the end of the day, I want things to be as best as possible for her. And I've came to the point where, like, I want that as well.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

I think that if it wasn't for the show, maybe we would have ended up staying together and going through more things that are similar to that. So in a way, as much as, you know, you want everything to end up right and end up well, and we want. At the time we wanted to stay together, I think it's the best thing for the both of us.

[Interviewer]

So, I'm sorry, I just have one more question. So this is when, after she said was kind of like her last straw, she left. She found an apartment, and you were like, blindsided.

[Killian]

Sorry. Say one more. I apologize.

[Interviewer]

No, that's okay. That she was kind of like, that you were kind of like, blindsided by her leaving. This was like her final straw. She went and found an apartment and kind of did all that behind your back. What was that process?

[Killian]

So she had take. She decided that she wanted to take a break. So I was going to therapy while she was in Texas for two, two and a half weeks or so at her family's house. I think JG ended up going out there with her, meeting up with her, and then she came back home. Pretty much acted like everything was normal. We had a, like, great solid day. Swam in our pool that was in our backyard and everything. And then the next day, I just started a new job. So I was. I had to be in the office at the time or in the home office.

[Interviewer]

And

[Killian]

I was checking to see if she was on the way back or something from the gym, I believe. And I noticed that her location had been turned off, which I thought was weird. And then she just came into the house, like, with a completely different aura or energy. So I kind of knew something was off. I asked her about it. She didn't want to speak about it. So I kind of kept working through, like, through. Through my job. At the end of my job, I kind of just told her, hey, can we at least talk, like, about whatever's going on. And she told me, yeah, give me a, you know, a few minutes. And at that time, she was finishing up signing a lease for a one bedroom.

[Interviewer]

Oh, wow.

[Killian]

And then she just told me, you know, I'm moving out in a few days after. Yeah. So, yeah, I helped her back. We spent a few days together towards the end, just hanging out and stuff. You know, she was crying, we were upset. You know, she said it was just kind of something she needed to do. And, yeah, I mean, you know, at that point, I was just like, there's no stopping her. She made her choice. I've always told her, like, I want what's best for her, even if that's not with me. I've told her that since the beginning of our relationship. And, yeah, I kind of had to just suck it up. And then it was a pretty brutal, to be honest with you, pretty brutal. Few months after that, you know, sitting by myself, I'm living with my parents, you know, that never. Not that I love my parents, but, you know, it doesn't feel great to be 29 living with your parents, even if it's because of the wheelchair. And then we started hanging out again a little bit, day by day, you know, I asked her if she'd want to go to church and everything. And then that's when I found out. She pulled me. She was living right down the street, only a few condos away, but she told me she wanted to meet. It took about a week for us to finally meet because I think she was worried about telling me. And she told me that Perfect Match, that she was on her final interview of Perfect Match at the time. And then, obviously, not gonna lie, I was extremely upset. I was real mad, you know, at. But at that time, I was already working on myself and everything, so there was no yelling at all, thankfully. And I was upset, though, like, emotionally hurt and sad about it. And I was like, are you sure you want to do this? Because when we broke up, she said, the door's not going to be closed for us. She was like, the door's still open. I just need you to work on yourself. And if you can show me that you are working on yourself, you know, we can talk about getting back together again.

[Interviewer]

Yeah.

[Killian]

If I can see a difference. And then I kind of put it together a few days later, and I'm like, wait, if she is on the last interview, that means she was interviewing for Perfect Match while we were still together. Because those interview processes are long. They're not just, you know, oh, you pop in once or twice. It's a long process. You have to figure out your dates and everything. And so then I realized that, you know, she was interviewing for A Perfect Match, which is obviously a dating show. Everyone knows that. While still being engaged, which I thought was a little messed up. And then I'm at work. I mean, it's not funny, but I was at work blowing up my phone. Blowing up my. Blowing up my phone about a week later. I'm like, guys, I got to take this. It might be an emergency. I had to pick up the phone and I hear f you, you, this, that, blah, blah, blah, blah. You ruined my chance of being on Perfect Match. I was on the last interview. They told me they loved me and that I was the perfect casting member. And I'm like, wait, you think I told them? And she's like. She's like. She was like, well, I just told you a week ago. And now they don't want me out of nowhere. I'm like, ash, yeah. Like, I have productions phone number right on my cell phone and called them and told them, please don't put my. My ex fiance on this show, please. Like, I love her. I'm like, you being ridiculous right now. Just because they didn't post you or pick you, right? And so then for a little bit, we weren't speaking because she thought that I. I'm the one that told whoever owns Perfect Match to not pick her. And they listen to me.

[Interviewer]

Oh, my God.

[Killian]

Which is whatever. But, like, I just thought it was kind of. It was kind of funny at the time. I was like, how the hell do you think I would do that, right? I'm like, I don't have power like that type of power.

[Interviewer]

My goodness. Well, thank you for that, T. Because what. Okay, before we wrap, do you feel like you've cleared the air on everything? You've apologized to who you need to apologize. You've said everything that you needed to say. Do you feel like you got some closure?

[Killian]

Yeah. You know, I wish the show would have shown more of the really nice side and loving side of me towards Ashley in our relationship. I don't feel like that really got shown too much in my personal opinion. But, yeah, I have closure. And I think all of us. I. I believe all of us from the Ultimatum season four are just ready to move past this, to be honest. And we're so kind of tired of bringing a year ago back up and respeaking and reliving the same things over again that we're just all ready to kind of go our way, work on ourselves, dig deep into what we all want separately. Yeah. And just ready to kind of move on with a new chapter of life.

[Interviewer]

Okay, well, on that note, let's wrap this up.

[Killian]

All right.

[Interviewer]

Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me here and telling us your side of the story. I know it hasn't been easy, and I know, like, it's feeling tough, but like you said, it'll be wrapped up soon and you can kind of just reinvent or become the person that you are meant to be and that you want the world to see. So thank you for joining us here on what's the Reality. And thank you guys for joining us for another episode. Be sure to follow us on all social platforms at whatstherealitypod. And I will see you guys next week. What's the reality? What's the reality?

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