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What's the Reality?
What’s The Reality’s Wildest, Realest and Best Moments of the Year
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What a wild, chaotic, and unforgettable year it’s been here at What’s The Reality! From surprise matchmaking and jaw-dropping life announcements to incredible guests keeping it real and totally unfiltered, this year truly had it all. Let’s take a look back at some of AD’s favorite moments from the podcast!
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Visit lowe's.com terms for more details. Subject to change. Hey everyone, it's your girl AD and welcome to a very special episode of what's the Reality? I cannot believe we're already at the end of the year. Seriously, where did the time go? I just want to take a second to say thank you to everyone who's tuned in, shared the show, sent messages, or just been a part of this little community that we've built together. And a big, big thank you to everyone who's subscribed. And if you haven't subscribed yet, please make sure you hit that subscribe button. You guys are the reason I get to do what I love every week. And I'm so, so, so, so grateful. Today's episode we're looking back at some of my favorite what's the Reality moments from this past year. We've had some amazing conversations, wild stories, a few laughs, a few deep dives, and honestly, it's been such an amaz. As we wrap this year up, I just wanna wish you all a very happy holiday season and an incredible new year. I hope you take some time to relax, recharge, and spend it with the people that you love the most. Thank you again for such an amazing year. All right, let's get into it. Here are some of my top what's the Reality Moments of the year. Hi. Hi. I'm obviously I'm very, very excited to be talking to Both of welcome to it's the Reality. Thank you. So glad to be here. Yes. We're very excited to talk to you too. No joke. Yes. Beyond. Oh, gosh. Ok. I just want to tell you, my wife, she will not really watch reality tv. There's like two shows. Love is Blind is one of them. And I was like, babes. And finally she got into it and she was like fangirling over you the entire season. She's like, ad is my girl. Come on. You know what? Yeah, no joke. Dame. Interview over. That's all I needed to hear, really. That's true. Listen, I'm just gonna put the hat low. She's like hot fucks with yeah the whole time. Stop. That makes me so. I feel like we would have gone to school together and have been friends 100%. Because you were my friend while I was growing up. I'll take that literally best friends in my head. I'll take that fashionista, the coolest girl in school. Like you were. I was you, you were me. We would have been besties. We would have been besties. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I just obviously recently got engaged and you guys have been married for a little bit. Five years. Five years. Crazy. I'm praying for five. What is some advice that you guys would give to someone like me that's hoping to get to five years in a marriage? Like, what advice do you guys have? So our advice comes from a lesbian perspective. You have to also understand that there's a huge difference. I believe it's a little bit different. We both had cisgender relationships in our lives, so we'll definitely come from that aspect. But if I was to give you any advice, I would say make sure you remember the reason you married him before you start asking to change stuff. And I feel like even we went through that moment, that's like the most universal thing. It's like, can you do this instead? Can you do this instead? It's like, no. She. She did stuff that you love. That's why you married her. Don't try to conform it into what you feel you need in that one moment when you have a full life to lead. I can appreciate that. And I think that it's important to remember that when you're in a long term relationship, the style of love changes. So there literally is like passionate love and companionate love. And companionate love is what you enter in when you're in that longest term. And they say that around five years, you actually truly are in a space where you develop that best friendshipness And I feel like Raven and I. And this is universal, but I feel like Raven and I are actually really in that space. We're entering that space. Like, June will be five years for us. And I feel like we've had such a shift. I feel so much more secure. So I think, remember that with companionate love, it doesn't mean, like, you maybe want to, like, jump someone's bones every five minutes. The love changes, but it's deeper and it's more honest and more pure in a way. And I think that just giving yourself room to be yourself also without judgment, and let your relationship just have the hills and valleys. And don't compare your relationship to anybody else's either. That's a big one. I mean, to not compare. But it's hard. Marriage is a journey. It's a real journey. But I think that if you have found your mirror, that's the greatest gift in the world. And the mirror can be scary because it can feel really honest. But. And don't forget about 50, 50. Lean into that. And don't forget about 50 50, because that's a gift. Yeah, 50, 50, 50, 50. It's like, lean into it. The 50, 50 of it all. Raven really loves 50 50. And her definition is 50 of 50, 50 is this. Babes, will you take out the trash? Raven will take out the trash, but I have to put the new bag in. Raven will be like, 50, 50. Raven will be like, oh, I'm hungry. So she'll go to the fridge and she'll open the fridge door and she'll take the food out, and then she'll leave the fridge door open and she'll be like, 50. But I bring that up real 50, 50. I bring that up to say kind of piggybacking of what she was saying before is like, sometimes we go into relationships thinking that there are roles to be had. And as you start to become companions, you kind of have to let that go and say, you know what? We are in this life together. And sometimes I'm not going to close the refrigerator. Don't get mad at me if I don't just close it and love me. It's like that. That's why I kind of interrupted you, babe. Because it's like. Like goes hand in hand, even though I'm joking about it. It's like, after a while, yes, you're the guy. Yes, you should take the trash out. But then it's like, if he takes the trash out and he doesn't, it's okay, you can do it. Too sometimes. You know what I mean? It's a companionship. It's a friendship at the end of the day with perks. And I really think the biggest thing for people in relationships in general is to. And this is a. This was a hard one for me. So we all have messaging as we're growing up, and we have our friends telling us and leaving impressions on us as how to. Things should. How things should be. So I heard things a lot in my life, like, oh, well, if you stop having sex in your relationship, that means you're on the road to divorce. Oh. If he's not sleeping in bed with you and he's on the couch, that's the road to do. So I had all of these kind of things that I was looking for that would equal my biggest fear. Yeah. Which was a divorce. And I realized, like, those things are not universally true. If somebody. If you stop having sex in your relationship for a period of time, that's okay. There can be other reasons as to why it doesn't mean, oh, we're falling out of love. So I think that. But it also could be just check. Check the receipts. Yeah. You. Exactly. It's just. Exactly. And people will take certain things because those are. Have been true in the past. But I think my biggest marriage advice in regards to that is don't let outside influence impact you or dictate how you feel a relationship should be. And don't take old ideas, kind of like these. Historic. Historic. Yes, historic. That is a mental health disorder. I know. I know. That's why I'm. Don't take these, like, archaic. Don't take these archaic, Archaic ways of how. How a relationship or a marriage should be and then bring that into your world. Yeah. That went ultimate. That ultimately were created by men because they were in charge of. Yeah. Control the messaging. Yeah, Exactly. Yeah. That's been huge for me because I had a lot of fear initially. Yeah. And I was being an anxiously attached person. Like, it was not. It was not fun for either of us. Yeah. How are you going to step into your relationship in your marriage? Have you thought about it? I think about it every single day. Like. Cause I do kind of have preconceived notions of what a wife should be and what a husband should be. I really do. I can't even lie and say I don't. I just. I think something pretty special about Ali is he doesn't have any of those. He's very much like, this is a partnership. I'll do this, you do that. Now does he Leave every cabinet open. The refrigerator open. The toilet seat goes down now. No good for you. The toilet seat does go down. But like, he's kind of like, oh, if the fridge is open, don't hate me for it. Like, he has that mindset where I'm just like, here we go. Another thing that I have to do. It's just like, I think I'm trying to come into this marriage and wipe away the things that I think should be. Because I don't know, I've never been in a marriage and the marriages around me are not successful. They were not successful. So taking advice from them is not. It's always dangerous. Yeah, it's very dangerous. So I think what you guys said is very powerful. Like not listening to outside noise, creating our own environment, our own little world. At the end of the day, it's just us. And you know what else happens? I think a lot with women. Kind of like you expressed, oh, I have to do everything. I have to do everything. And I was having this conversation with her and a writer that we were talking to and I was like, that's our own misconception of having to do everything. Because if it does, he did it before you got there. He closed it beforehand. You know what I mean? He lived. He got this far without you. Very independent man. Very independent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, you don't have to. To take things on. We choose to because we are feeding into what we think we should be. And then build resentment. And then build resentment. Just don't do it. Leave that shit open. Today we have world renowned medium, Tyler Henry. And television personality, actress, dancer, fitness entrepreneur, Amanda. Hey, guys. Hi and welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Amanda, you've shared how important signs from Nick have been to you. What was the most powerful or unexpected sign that you've received? Oh, gosh, it's a short story, but I'll give you one. He comes to the radio a lot. To me, Nick was a music man. And if you drive around town with me, if you were in my car, you would think I'm a crazy lady. Cause I talk to him a lot in the car. One day I got in the car with Elvis and it was his Christmas concert at his preschool, which is a hard day for a single mom because your child is singing these Christmas songs and every family is there and so to be there alone is tough. So I get in the car and Prince is playing on the radio. And Prince was Nick's all time favorite artist and Prince is on the radio a lot. It is not an uncommon artist that you would hear. But whenever I hear Prince, I always say hi to Nick. I'm like, oh, hi, Nick. I'm like, oh, good, you're here with us today. I said, cause today's a big day. I said, all right, well, if you're really with us, I said, I want you before the day ends, to play Going to California by Led Zeppelin. I say it out loud. I drive Elvis to school. I go to work, I pick Elvis up, we go to his concert. I survived the concert. We leave a little early. Cause I just was, like, ready to. Ready to get out of here. And I get in the car, I turn the car on, and on the radio is a Led Zeppelin song. Not Going to California, though. And I'm driving along, and I was like, you know what? Okay. I was like, that's good enough. I was like, that's close enough. We keep driving. And the song ends. And the DJ gets on and goes, you know what? Let's just play another one from Led Zeppelin. Here's Going to California. And I literally. Tears start coming down my eyes. I couldn't see the road because I was crying so hard. I pull over, and I am, like, smiling, crying in disbelief at the same time. Because, first of all, this song is the oddest Led Zeppelin song in the entire world. It is a weird monol. It is never played on the radio. Trust me, I've heard it once since mix passed. And the fact that I asked for it. And that as we left the concert, a DJ doubled up on Led Zeppelin, which, let me tell you again, DJs don't ever double up on an artist. Right, right, right. And that happened. I was like, all right, you're with me, you're with us. That's incredible. And I always find it so interesting what people feel inclined to do. Like our inclinations, why we do this versus that. Because it's often intuition. I wonder if that radio DJ who was, like, playing the things, if something didn't just kind of pop it into that and go, yeah, I felt something play that song. I know. Because we wouldn't even know. It'd be random. Why do we feel inclined to do the random things that we do? We never know the impact it could have. Yeah, it's powerful. I never thought of it that way, Tyler. But, yeah, must have, right? He was like, hey, she's listening. Wyatt. Wow. No. That's incredible. My girl Zayna from season three of Ultimatum. It's me. I'm here. Welcome. And then we have a little. For all of my Temptation island fans, We've got Hashim coming in to talk about his time and drop a little tea as well. How would you have acted on Temptation Island? Would you still, like, I've had fun or been really closed off? I think we acted the same, honestly. I mean, fun in terms of, like, personality, you seem like you have a very bubbly personality. Yeah. So I feel like, you know what I mean. Zayn would have been fun. I don't think she would have been, like, disrespectful, but I think you would have had a lot of fun. There's. There's a way to do it. Like, Ashley and Tay, like, they were having fun. Yeah. Like, before they were like, hey, we're single now. I think I would have honestly been the same that I was on ultimatum, because I definitely was open to it, even with, like, the dating and Scottie, and I was just like, all right, I'm open to this experience. Experience. But I wouldn't have crossed physical boundaries. Right. It's like, that's just, to me, like, straight respect. But I probably. I would have definitely been flirty. Like, hey, let's have fun. But I don't know. That's just me in general. Like, people think my personality is very flirty, but I'm just a very friendly person. Same. Okay, similarities. Okay, similarities. Okay, same, same. So are you single? I am single. Ooh. I have a single friend. I got girl. Single friends. Yeah, she right here. Her name is Nina. I'm just kidding. Zanna, would you have been tempted? Is this blind? I would have been a little tempted. Okay. Is this a blind date right now? Edie, what are you doing? I felt like this was a blind date. Are you setting us up right now? You're welcome. Name the first girl. Amber. You're welcome. So are you single? You're single? Are you dating? Open dating? Yes. Open to dating. Okay. Are you on apps? Are you going out? How are you meeting people? No, I'm. I don't go out, honestly. I'm a homebody. Honestly, with work, it. Me going out is. Is working okay. In a way. So I just. I don't know. I don't really have time that much. I'm traveling around a lot. Do you have a type? Yeah. Yeah. What's the word? What's your type? What's your type of. Okay, I'll be honest. I'll be honest as I've got. So I'm 30, by the way. So as I've gotten older, you know, I don't necessarily go for looks. I Go for more Vibe. Vibe. Aura. Sounds familiar. If she can dress, she gotta be able to dress. 80s over here. Check, check. My girl can dress and she's a vibe, but go ahead. Yeah, yeah. Has to have her own thing going on. That's cause I do too. So it's like this. Honestly, this. This couldn't be more perfect. What are you guys doing after this? I'm crying. Perfect mask. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. Call him. Call Em. Call Em. Is the AC on in here? It is. It's actually cold. Relax. I have a really, really special guest with me today. My love is blind sister Ashley. We all know she's had quite the journey, and she's finally here, opening up for the very first time about her truth versus the lie. So do you feel like standing by him, like, was more of a pressure from him? Because at the reunion you stood very strong, which I do still think is honorable, because that is your husband at that point in time, that is your husband. Do you feel like there was any pressure from him to stay in your marriage and stand so strong by him? No, I think the pressure was put on my. I put it on myself, I think, because at that time, I hadn't found the information for myself. I hadn't found out about all the lies yet. Because when we filmed the reunion again, this was a week or two, like, before the mom of the kids had ever came out saying anything otherwise. So right before the reunion, like the night before, where we're in the room, they give us a little wine, like, we're chatting. We're chatting. I remember putting my hands out like this, And I was like, am I sleeping with the enemy? And he said, no, you're not. And I asked him, is there anything that I need to know? Please do not send me to the wolves. And he literally was like, no, there's nothing else you need to know. We're in this together. And that's why I can't wrap my mind around it, because that was the moment for you to be like, this, this, this, this, this, and you take me or leave me. And he continued. Even when I was drowning, he continued. And so I had that kind of reassurance where I was like, okay, we're. Yeah, we're in this together. Let's do this, you know? And that's why I went out there so boldly and spoke, because why? Again, why? Okay, okay. People are crazy. Yes, we know that. But why would someone do that again on the. On a large platform like that when my mom is sitting there like, we're all riding for you. My whole. My grandma. And you gave him the safe space. And I gave you. I literally. And I. And I learned that, like, if you make men feel comfortable, that maybe, you know, they'll fill that vulnerable space to be that with you. And I gave him that. And still, I mean, after that, we slept together. He cuddled me everything. Everything. And I'm like, that's a different kind of person, you know? So I think that if maybe the video would have come out before the reunion, even if I was still with him, trying to figure out things for myself, I think I would have navigated the reunion a little differently because I. Again, which is why I wanted to have the sperm donor conversation on camera. I think that people can tell when you're not being authentic. And so I would have. I would have at least said, like, hey, you know, me and him are in a good space right now, but we're working things out. I could have took that path. You didn't. He allowed you to be loud. Wrong. I would have been like, sit down. Don't do another podcast. Don't say shit else. Don't say nothing else. Don't say shit else. And the thing is, he got quieter and, like, left you to drop. Like, literally. I was getting it more than him. Yeah, I was getting in more than him for sure. Which is hilarious because I think that it just became a smear campaign and I was the headliner. And also, he don't know what to say. So I was like, send me, you know, take me. But again, that's just how I am as a friend. That's how I am as a daughter. That's how I am as some, you know, with anyone I love. I will go to bat for you if you're being honest, you know, and so on reflection, I do wish that, you know, that video. Video would have came out like. And so again, people don't know the timeline of things. So they're like, oh, this aired afterwards. She's still doing this. And I'm like, no, no, no, you didn't hear me say a peep after that, right? What's there to say? Save over $200 when you book weekly. Stays with VRBO this winter. If you need to work, why not work from a chalet? If you haven't seen your college besties since, well, college, you need a week to fully catch up in a snowy cabin. And if you have to stay in a remote place with your in laws, you should save over $200 a week. That's the Least we can do. So you might as well start digging out the long johns because saving over $200 on a week long snowcation rental is in the cards book now@vrbo.com the Lowe's Closeout event means the final savings of the season are here. It's your last chance to get deals on seasonal decor, tools, flooring, and so much more. Refresh your home, check off your project list, or simply stock up on the brands you trust. Shop now to grab amazing deals before they're gone. Lowes we help you Save. Valid through 17. Selection varies by location. While supplies last. Y' all today. Got my homegirl Sandy from Ultimatum Season 3. Later today, we'll be joined by fan favorite love is blind, Mr. Marshall himself. So what about an ick? You got an ick. I got a bunch of ick. We got lots of icks. I know you do, based off of how many cringy moments you had. So I'm joking. I feel like anything in this day and age can be an ick. I really do. I feel like y' all got a list. Icks are, like, not even necessarily negative. They're just icks. It's just like, when guys get cold. Why are you cold? It's kind of an ick. It's like, why are you. Why are you shivering? Why are you chatting? You want to share the blanket? I'm a girl. Icky. No, I'm just kidding. Or like, you guys order drinks, and then his comes with a straw. See, I actually am like, whatever. The straw will stick. Can't get cold. Can't get cold. Can't drink through a straw. If you can't find a parking spot or can't find a parking spot in a busy mall. No, my biggest fear. Guys parking. If they can't, like, parallel park. Oh, yeah. And they pull out three times. You got two times to, like, line that car up. That's like, on the third time, I'm like, okay, y' all are saying, yeah. Yeah. Do y' all know how to parallel parking? I do. I'm a boss. Yeah, I do. Okay, if you pull out three times, let me out. I'll go get the table. And then people are waiting, and they're like, go around. Go around. Okay. Justified. Justified. Thank you. I'm a driver, so that was me. I would sink in a chair. I'd be like, you want me to do it? Okay, so if I'm cold and I get, like, chicken skin, you're like, never again. No, you can get, like, chicken skin. But, like, if you start kind of like shaking and like, chattering your teeth when I'm over here trying to, like, keep it together, I'd be like, oh, hell no, dude. You know what's an ick? I'm like, give me your jacket. You know what's an ick? If we're going out somewhere, you ask what the weather is. I tell you it's cold, and you choose not to bring a jacket. And I'm nice and cozy in my jacket, and you want mine. Ick. One thing. I've never seen you again is like women, we don't want our men to be happy or warm. So if you're smiling too much, why are you, like. If I'm not around, I don't want any joy. If I call you, I'm having fun and you're having fun. Wait, A.D. goofy. What if I'm on a video games with my boys and I'm like, having a great time between being funny and goofy? Goofy is a strike. That's a strike. That's beyond an ick and a cringe. Goofy is crazy. Goofy is a strike. Yeah, there's a difference. Imagine funny and like goofy. Or it's like you. You introduce him to your friends and he's like, yeah, he's a little goofy. Goofy's not unrealistic. This is so unrealistic. Funny. You can be like, funny and, like, jolly, like a funny guy. But if your boyfriend is. If anybody described my man as goofy, I don't know if I can continue the relationship. Yeah, goofy. Yeah. I don't think I like this conversation anymore. Okay, Marshall, what are some icks? Yeah, what are your eggs? You want it for real? Let's hear it. List of icks. Chunky sneakers. New Balances. Okay. Gold bangles. I'm playing. I'm playing. I'm playing this. You're calling this an ick? No, you're not. Magenta goblets. It's getting icky over here. I'm a very easygoing guy. I don't have a lot of icks. I think if you chew too loud, Snake. And I'm talking, like, realistic icks. Not if you get cold. It's an ick. If you chew too loud. Showing signs of cold. You can be cold. Just don't. There you go. There you go. That's it. Don't want see to see it. Showing signs of coldness. Butt cracks. Butt cracks. Yeah. If a guy on his water. I don't know what to do. I'm like, you know what I'm talking about? Goes down the wrong pipe. So bodily function is an ick. Why are you choking? Breathe. You sneezing? Yeah. Date over, take me home. Or like, if a guy doesn't do a full sneeze, if he goes like, let it out, let it out. Say it loudest. No ick. Okay, I'm glad we got that out the way for future references. If you sneeze around, say under eye, it's gonna be an issue. Just take notes. Okay. Today I have one of my favorite people and an incredible guest from Love is Blind season five, Lydia is here. Hello. Hi. How are you? Surviving well, surviving beautifully, might I say. I asked for the divorce. He wanted an NDA. And then after that he told me when I attempted and I was ready for having a conversation because he was like, the minute of. Because there was something else that happened. And he was like, you're too fucking stupid and you're untrustworthy person. Time out. Something else happened. Is that something you can share? Yes. So along the period of we're gonna be three years married, where we're supposed to be in a 30 year anniversary, May 31, and I have received in five different occasions messages from women allegedly saying that he's pursuing them at bars, paying for women's drinks, heavily heavy flirting to the extent that I went to a wedding and one of a girl that I used to talk be friends with has pictures of him in California playing with women. And what was like allegedly, right? And then what was like the cusp and what was like the sherry on top was he had a university event. He had it last year and he told me that no spouses were allowed and that I couldn't be in the hotel with him or whatever it was or not. And I was like, okay. So this year when he went again, I was like, well, maybe he's not. Obviously I'm not going to ask because he told me no. Yeah. But then he was going out every day after the event for the University. And on March 31, I received a very detailed long email of this woman alleging that he had been flirting with her all night, that he invited her over to the hotel and she sent me evidence that he called her at 4:12 in the morning and text exchanges with him and FaceTime at 4 in the morning. That was it for me. I was like, I cannot continue because this, it wasn't the first time that happened. A month prior that I had received another message from another girl with the same allegations. And I'm like, first of all, you're a public figure. Why Are you doing this right? Do you have any respect for yourself? Because you have. Not for me. That's clear. And that one, I confronted him and he flipped it to me. Of course. He was like, oh, why would you even detain that? Why you send me that stupid shit on to my. When I'm working? And I took some time to me for my. For myself. And then we had a huge conversation and he was just saying all the things that bothered him about me. Swimsuits again. And I'm like, you gotta be kidding me, dude, we just went to Mexico and I was wearing a diaper of a swimsuit. Like, what else do you want? Right? And he's like, well, then, like, you make poor decisions. So, okay, let me get this right. You confront him about cheating and women emailing you and texting you and all these things, and he turns around and goes, well, because you wear bikinis, you're a terrible person in a terrible wife. It sounds silly now you say out loud. But yeah, I just want to clarify. That is his reasoning. That is that. Or that's his excuse from the conversation. Changing woman with numbers. Changing numbers with women. Yeah. It was nothing. It was like that. He can do that. He can do that. Yeah. I'm like, you have a wife. Yeah. Why did he feel like that was Somebody talk to your wife? Yeah, like the nagging was me telling him, hey, we haven't spent time together. Yeah, you either play Halo, work or school. Yeah, there's no time for me. I never felt that my marriage was a priority for him. Did he ever own up to any of it? None. None whatsoever. Was he confronted about what you got on March 31st? No. No, that was it for me. You didn't confront him about that? No, I. He knew about it because the first thing that I did, because we would live with his parents, because we were saving money to buy a house. How long have you lived with your parents? Since November of last year. So around seven months. Oh, wow. Well, that'll put a strain. Yeah. Yeah. And he basically was like. And his parents were lovely, like his dad, specifically like his mom. Like, we have a great relationship, but with his dad. His dad was the father I never had. And I always say that. And I have repeated this to him like, you're healing that inner child, that little girl that was disappointed for. From so many father figures that betrayed her, molested her, and you've done so much. And I think that was also a part of me that wanted to, like, how can I leave them? It got to a point that it was like, how can I leave them? Because they're my family here. Yeah. And they have no idea what's going on in your. They know. They know. They know. They are aware. Okay. I can see the difference in culture, I believe, like Latinas and I. And also his family is like very military, very straight. Yeah. And the day that I received that email, I literally threw the phone and told his dad. He did it again and had a full panic attack and he was in disbelief. And then he told James when he Milton when he got home and he went to my room and I was like, I'm great. I just learned so much information about you today. And I figured out that I'm on your way and I want to get out of your way. Yeah. I want you to have what you want. And that's clear for me that it's not me. And he was like, why are you talking like that? Like, why are you talking so scripted? Like, can we have a real conversation? I'm like, I'm just letting you know and I'll let you know when the papers are ready. Do you think he was blindsided by you asking for a divorce? No, because a month prior I had like literally take time for myself and I was two weeks out of the house. I think. I think maybe he wanted me to just keep continuing with the behavior. But it's like at the same time, it's like, love is not enough. I don't believe he loves me. So when you presented him with the divorce, he didn't like try to fight or anything. He just said, sign an NDA. He said, well, the first thing he said to me when he was like calmed, he was like, well, you know, I'm not gonna ch you. He always said that every time, like, you know, I'm not going to chase you. That just made my stomach drop. No, that is, that's painful. And I'm like, I know. You have made that clear. And then when I had that, when I was ready to like not necessarily have a conversation for him to like, because I knew he was going to flip it on me, cuz he already did it like a month ago. That. Right, right. So I was like, we're talking about taxes. And then that's when he say, you're too stupid, you're an untrustworthy person. Like now it's obviously that you believe her. And I've already been like the word. Like he, like he's had been. I've been the juror and I already did the sentence against him and I was like crying. I'm like, why are you treating me like I'm the one that disrespected you? And the words to fucking stupid untrustworthy person was the last words they spoke to me. And it's like a revolving door in my head, that's all. It just keeps playing over and over because I'm like, how is this the same person that I met at the altar? It's because of the man that I met at the altar that I know that I deserve better. I deserve so much better. VRBO Last minute deals make chasing fresh mountain powder incredibly easy. With thousands of homes close to the slopes, you can easily get epic pow freshies, first tracks and more. No need for months of planning. In fact, you can't even plan. Pow Pow is on its own schedule, thankfully. Somewhere in the world it's always snowing. All you have to do is use the last minute filter on the app to book a last minute deal on a slope side private rental home. Book now@vervo.com busy work weeks can leave you feeling drained. Prolon's five day fasting mimicking diet rejuvenates you at the cellular level, lets you enjoy real food and does not require an injection. Developed at USC's Longevity Institute, Prolon supports biological age reduction metabolism, skin health and fat loss when combined with proper exercise and nutrition. Get 15% off plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe at prolonlife.com PandoraPro. I'm sitting down with a true pop culture icon, the one and only Nick Lachey. So how is it co hosting two dating shows with your wife? And what's your favorite part about working together? Honestly, it's, it's weird therapy for us because especially less so. Love is blind. Love is blind reminds you of why you fall in love, right? Because you're seeing these love stories unfold. And I'm a sappy, emotional, sentimental guy. So like seeing people fall in love and like find true connection and, and, and you know, and see it happen on tv, I, I, I still get off on it. We love. I'm proud to be a part of, you know, proud to be a part of something like that. Ultimatum is different in that you're dealing with couples who aren't necessarily in the best place and so you still want the best for them, but sometimes the best for them means they split up, right? I mean, sometimes you're in a, in a situation that's not the one you're supposed to be in and sometimes it takes a tough experience like ultimatum to, to open your eyes to that. Yeah. So that's, it's, you know, look kind of like we started this interview. You know, Vanessa and I are always happy to try and give what insights have worked for us, but you also want to be careful not to preach to people like, this is what you need to do, because we don't know, you know, and we don't pretend to know. So it's tough sometimes in ultimatum to see it not work out for someone or to see some, A couple going through some real, like, some real pain. Right. Like Nick and Sandy went through, like, real pain. It was hard. It was, like, hard to be a part of that. But in the end, it was what's, what was best for them as a couple. Yeah. Yeah. And we all could kind of see that and, and, and, and see the way it, it kind of worked out. But, yeah, it's, It's. We always walk away from that thinking, okay, what do we learn today? You know? Yeah, like, we talk about trust, respect, and commitment, but are we. And communication. But are we, Are we honoring that every day in our relationship? So it's kind of a cool, therapeutic way to remind yourself of what you need to do as a couple to be the best you can be. That's really powerful that you're, like, learning and in it and working and then going home and applying. I mean, look, I'm no expert on anything, but you never stop learning, I don't think. Not in relationships. And if you think you've learned everything you have to learn about your partner, you're in for a big surprise, because we're all changing as people and, and the way, you know, way we relate to each other changes. So it's, I think it's a constant. It's a constant journey. I have Alexa and Brennan from season three. Season three, Sheesh. I know the rest of season nine. Yeah, we're old. That's what I hear is we're old. No, real years. And season years are not. I think they're doing, like, two seasons. Yeah. Two seasons a year. It's not the same. And there was, like, a good break between one and two, I think. Yeah, it doesn't count. Yeah. Season three. That's dope. Yeah. Hi. Hi. Welcome. So, Alexa, you were very open about your fertility journey before having Vienna. What was that like for you? And how did it feel when you found out you were pregnant? Ooh, it was hard. It was really hard. That was a hoof. That was a really hard time. I just, like, I, I, I was feeling It. And then it was hard because, like, I just remember, like, one time breaking down, like, do you, like, regret marrying me? Because, like, you know, we really bonded over having kids together. I know I'm crying because I have a baby, but it was hard. And I just, like, remember, like, thinking, like, it's never gonna happen. And he was like, lex, like, we'll figure out options. And, like, this isn't the end of the road. And then we decided to put a pause because it was a lot of hormones that I was injecting. And so, mentally, I was not doing great at all. And then it was a lot of hormones for a long time. And so it's obviously, like, very, very emotional. And I was, like, from. It was gaining weight, so my body was off, and I was like, I'm gaining weight for, like, from all these hormones. I'm not even pregnant. And then had people online, like, pointing it out all the time. So that was, like, really hard. And. And then we just kind of decided to just, like, pause it and, like, let's regroup. But you're fine, baby. And then. And then I got pregnant, and it was a very healthy pregnancy, and that's. We're very blessed for that. It's. It. It's. It's not always the case. And so we were very, very lucky. And, like, for me now, like, I want to have another baby, and this kind of phase I'm in, I would be so excited, but I'm also like. Like, we don't know how long it would be because he's like, let's wait a little bit. And I'm like, but it took a year and a half for this one. Like, we don't know, like, going through that again. And it was a lot of. A lot for me. And just being pregnant is hard. It's a lot on your body. It's a lot to, like, hormones and breastfeeding, and especially when I'm, like, feeling like myself finally again, it's hard to, like, want to go through it again. But I really want to do it for her. Like, I want her to have, like, a sibling that's close in age. So. It took a toll on us, too. Oh, yeah, it was. I mean, I'm not. I'm not saying, oh, yeah, you're struggling. What you had. Yeah, we're going through. But us as a couple is still. Yeah, it was still tough just trying to. Trying to be, like, positive all the time or. It was just. It was a lot, you know, back and forth, and then, like, you know, I'M a guy who wants to fix stuff. Yeah. Like, you know, walk around the house fixing whatever. So it's something you can't really fix. You just have to go through it. Go through the. Yeah. Because we did all the testing. I was like, everything came back fine. They're like, you're fine. Like, he's fine, you're fine. And it was even kind of, like, weirdly more frustrating because I'm like, if I knew what it was then. But they're like, you're. We don't know. It's just. There's no telling. And so then they, like, gave me like, a. Like, a 5% chance or something of getting pregnant. And then I did. So. Yeah. So it was like. It was like a month before. Well, I finally told her. I was like, we gotta, like. Or stop. We're putting a pause on this. Yeah. Because it was like. Like she was saying hormone injections, like, all the time or whatever. And so I was like, all right, we're not doing anything for a couple months. And then, sure enough, it was like, a month later, literally. Well, I had. Do you want a tissue? I'm fine. I'm chilling. I had decided that. That we were into ivf. I was like, that's probably going to be, like, the best thing for us. And it's not a tissue, but something material. We had decided. It was, like, October. And I was like, caleb, we're just gonna pause everything, and then January, we'll start, like, the process for ivf. And I literally had been messaging my fertility doctor, like, what do I need to do? Like. And he was like, let's set up a phone call, and we'll. I'll tell you exactly what to plan, but we'll start everything, really, in January, and I'll tell you how to prep for that in the meantime. And literally 30 minutes later, I texted him, I'm pregnant. Oh, my God. Yeah. I came home and my friend had given me some pregnancy tests she had found. She was like, I'm gonna throw them out unless you want them. And I was like, okay. She's like, you wanna take one? And I was like, I'm not pregnant. I was like, but also, if I was pregnant, but it would kill me if I found out, like, somewhere else. So I got home and I had a pee, and so I used it. And then I stood up and looked at it, and I was like, what the hell is that? Because I had never gotten a positive. And I came out and I told. I told him. I was like, babe. And then he's like, what is that? And I was like, I need you to lock in right now. What is that? She handed it to me, right? Well, she handed it directly to me. And so I grab it, not even thinking. I was like, what is this? And she goes, it's pregnancy test. I was like, you peed on this? Didn't even look at it. And then I was like, babe, it's positive. And he's like, maybe she took another one. And I opened my other hand. I go, I took seven more. Oh, my God. I was a busy bee scientist in the bathroom the last 30 minutes. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, yeah, and that's what it was. We actually. There was a tarot reading last night at the thing, and so I did that. And she was like, do you have any kids? And I was like, yeah, I have one daughter. You know, I don't want to give too much away because, you know, I have to let them do their thing with their cards. But she was like, your. Your daughter waited a long time to get to you. Oh. And I was like, are you kidding? We can't be honest about this. You have a bit of a following, so I'm sure she probably knows. Oh, it's pretty easy to find out the information. I thought it was a really sweet moment, but maybe she did do her due diligence on the scientist, because she did. She also did say when she saw me, she's like, I manifested you. And I was like, oh, my God. I was manifested. So. And then he was like, alexa, she probably knew who you were. Yeah. And she got me with the manifestation. I'm like, okay, I'm locked in. No, I love that. I would have been stuck, too. I'm like, yeah, tell me more. She's like, you're gonna be pregnant soon with a boy. And I was like, that's exactly what I want. We'll see. She said, it's any day now, so. Oh, okay. Well, I really appreciate you telling me that. I know that couldn't have been easy. So thank you for sharing that. That I've got Brett and Tiffany Brown from season four of Love is Blind. Welcome. Thank you. Welcome. You're welcome. Beautiful people. You have to have a certain level of confidence to just wake up and, like, I'm going to be blonde. How did we get here? You know, how did we get here? Good question. Good question. It looks good, by the way. Thank you. Thank you. I can't ignore it anymore. I need to know. So for the longest time, like, I've always. I've told her about my hair journey. I've been like, babe, I've done everything but color it. I've had dreads. I had dreads for, like, four years. They were like photos. Yeah, I had dreads. I had braids in. Y'. All. We need Afro. Like, the brush cut, you know, I've had my hair straight. I've done everything to it straight. Oh, yeah, girl. Yes. Full perms swinging. There was like, this is years ago, but, like, there was a time when, like, Snoop and, like, Bone Thugs, you know, Like, I watched him in the videos. I'm like, yo, man, he looked like Eddie Murphy, Interview with the Vampire. I was like, yo, that's a whole look again. That was a long time ago, before social media. This is so funny to me. So. But I was like, you know what? Like, I haven't done it before. Like, you need to do a hair carousel on Instagram. I will do some hair through the ages. Yes. That would go so crazy. You have such a beautiful head of hair. Like, that's very rare for men at our age to have any hair. So we talk. We talk about this a lot. I was like, you know what, babe? At least you still have a full head of hair lining tag. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Do what you want with it. Have fun. Okay, well, let's move on. Let's. Let's. Let's chat. Perfect match. You haven't. Hold on. No, wait. Because I feel like you're asking me all these questions. You haven't answered any of them yourself. A little bit. What? What do you want to ask me? I don't know. You're the one with the cards here. You take the cards. Then what? And ask you the same questions? Yeah. You will switch places. You want me in the hot seat? Yeah, I want you in the hot seat. Because you do too much questioning and you don't answer any questions you get. You get off scot free. We're going to switch places. I'm being serious. Let's do it. Welcome to a very exciting episode of what's the Reality? With me, your host, Oli Isaac Sutherland. I'm doing things. Yeah, yeah, why not? Oh, my gosh. Hey, y', all, it's your girl Ad. And welcome to another episode of what's the Reality? You're so annoying. Sorry, sorry. What does motherhood mean to you? Oh, I don't know what it means to me yet, but I think the feelings that I'm thinking feeling are pretty indescribable. I just feel like this overwhelming need to protect my Daughter, like, from everything, like. And I'm so scared, like, that her being in here, I can protect her and keep her safe. And then I have to bring her out into this world and I'm just like, can I. Can I put her in a bubble? You seen that movie Bubble Boy? Yeah. I just want to put her in a bubble and just keep her safe. But I know I'm not going to be able to do that. And I know that she's going to have, like, such a great dad to protect her and Ollie is a great guy, great mom to protect her, really. I just want her to be safe and happy. So I think motherhood right now means just keeping her, keeping her safe. Thank you. That was beautiful. You're so annoying. No, I was gonna. I was gonna say to you, actually, because jokes aside, right. Don't ever call me AD Again. That was so gross. I'm just being the host. Anyway, jokes aside, because what I did notice because it's. It's easy for me when I have time out. Like, I go. I might go to the gym or go see my friends, and it's not that I forget about the fact that, like, we're expecting, but it's easier for me to kind of switch off and be like, just do what I. I'm doing and getting lost in the moment. But, like, you have. It's easy for me to overlook the fact that you have this. This constant physical and emotional feet. You're literally carrying the baby at all times. So it's like. I think that's one thing I had to relearn to, like, empathize with you about and sympathize to an extent. Is that, like, while it's easy for me to just kind of disconnect, not disconnect deliberately, but, like. Yeah, it's kind of like out of sight, out of mind. Yeah. Whereas she's like, never out of sight or out of mind for me, ever. Every breath I take, I'm like, baby. Yeah. And everything. Everything you're doing, everything you're consuming and everything. Yeah. You're constantly growing her and feeding her. So that's one thing I think as a man, I had to learn to not overlook. And because sometimes you would do things and I'd be like, is she being a bit, like, hyper reactive? And I'm like, no, like, I'm not carrying the baby. She is. So of course you're gonna be feeling different. Next question. What are you most excited for when it comes to being a dad? Mum. These cards haven't been updated I. I'm just excited for baby laughs and baby snuggles and just to see the new version of me. Because I already know I was saying last. Actually, not last night, just a few minutes ago. Like, the old me is already. She's already gone. Like, the minute that I saw positive on that test, I just. That that version of me disappeared, like, just immediately. So I'm excited to see, like, who I'll be when she gets here. And the version of me that is is Mom. Not Ed, not Amber, Desiree, just like Mom. I'm excited for that version of me. You're a natural. Because this is harder than it looks. Really. Can we clip that? Anybody? Thank you. Now you are good. You are good at. Because this isn't easy to, like, keep the conversation flowing. Do you know what? We can switch back, I think. Okay, You've had enough. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of what's the Reality, Y'. All. I will see you next time. What's the reality? What's the reality? DSW's semi annual sale is back. Take 50 off all clearance shoes in stores for a limited time. Literally every single clearance item at your designer shoe warehouse store is on sale right now. Sneakers, boots, dress shoes, if they're on the clearance racks, they're 50% off. So what are you waiting for? Don't sleep on these savings. Get to dswasap. It's haul or nothing, people. Shop the DSW semi annual sale today.