When Grief Comes Home

How To Support Your Child Through Grief

Grief changes a family’s whole weather system, and parenting through it can feel impossible when you’re trying to protect a child while you’re hurting too. We sit down with Dr. Pamela Gabbay, author of Understanding and Supporting Bereaved Children, to get practical, field-tested guidance on what grieving kids and teens actually need and what adults often get wrong when they’re trying to help.We talk about why listening is a grief skill, and how one small shift in language can open a door. Dr. Gabbay explains why “How are you feeling?” can backfire, and offers gentler prompts like “I’m wondering what you’re wondering” and “What are you stressed about?” We unpack the myth that kids must talk to heal, and why observing peers, play, art, and simple presence can be just as therapeutic in child grief support.The conversation also explores how children’s grief evolves across developmental stages, why military family bereavement can be uniquely complex due to relocation, wartime death, and PTSD, and how parents can care for themselves without hiding their pain. We share trusted grief resources and communities such as TAPS Care Groups, The Compassionate Friends, and Soaring Spirits, plus what makes grief camps so powerful for connection and belonging. We close with hope, including post-traumatic growth and the ways support programs can plant seeds that show up years later.If this helped, subscribe, share it with someone who’s carrying loss at home, and leave a rating and review so more grieving parents can find the support they deserve.TAPS: https://www.taps.org/The Compassionate Friends: https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ Soaring Spirits: https://soaringspirits.org/Order the book Understanding and Supporting Bereaved Children: https://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Supporting-Bereaved-Children-Professionals/dp/0826140483Order the book When Grief Comes Home: https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LJessica's House Resources: https://www.jessicashouse.org/resourcesSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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Northing Is Wasted: Part 2 - Davey Blackburn

3w ago00:30:37Tap to summarize

The hardest losses do not stay neatly private, and when grief becomes public it can feel like you are bleeding in front of a crowd. We sit down again with Davey Blackburn to talk about what happens when a homicide shatters your family and the world has opinions, theories, and headlines. This conversation includes a content warning, because parts of Davey’s story involve the murder of his wife Amanda and their unborn child, yet it also holds real hope for parents who feel like they will never breathe normally again.We dig into the complexity of grieving under scrutiny, including the unexpected “advantages” of people rallying around you and the crushing disadvantages of being on display in the worst moment of your life. Davey shares what it was like to live through a legal process that dragged on for years, how delays and mistrials can keep trauma reopened, and why someone told him to settle things in his heart before they were ever settled in a courtroom.We also get practical about the lifelong nature of grief: you do not get over it, you learn to carry it. We talk triggers, anniversaries, the random moments that knock the wind out of you, and why “I shouldn’t feel this” adds unnecessary suffering. Then we move into a tender topic many parents wrestle with quietly: remarriage, blended family life, and learning to embrace joy while still honoring the person who died.Davey also explains the mission behind Nothing Is Wasted, including coaching, online community, and the Pain to Purpose course designed to help people heal in supportive groups. If you’re looking for grief support resources, we point you toward options through Jessica’s House and the National Alliance for Children’s Grief. Subscribe, share this with a parent who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving families can find this podcast.Nothing is Wasted: https://www.nothingiswasted.com/Order the book When Grief Comes Home: https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LJessica's House Resources: https://www.jessicashouse.org/resourcesSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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Nothing Is Wasted: Part 1 - Davey Blackburn

Apr 2800:33:47Tap to summarize

A random, shuffled worship song becomes a turning point in a story no family ever wants to live. We sit down with pastor and author Davey Blackburn to talk about the murder of his wife Amanda and their unborn child during a home invasion, and the complicated road that followed. This conversation includes details that may be hard to hear, but it also holds steady focus on grief, faith, and the long work of healing.Davey opens up about the kind of shock that scrambles your senses, your expectations, and even your beliefs about how the world works. We talk about the questions that show up after traumatic loss, especially the ones that don’t resolve with a neat answer: Why didn’t God protect her? Can I still trust God’s goodness? Instead of pushing those questions down, we explore lament and what Davey calls “wrestling with God,” a practice that makes room for honesty without walking away.We also get deeply practical about parenting through loss. How do you keep a parent’s memory alive for a child without forcing your grief onto them? What do you do when questions come out of nowhere in the car ride to school? Davey shares tools shaped by lived experience and widower support work, including a simple “yellow card” idea that gives kids a concrete way to ask for time and attention when words feel too big.If you’re looking for grief support, child bereavement resources, and trauma-informed guidance that respects both pain and hope, press play. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and please rate and review so more grieving families can find the show.Nothing is Wasted: https://www.nothingiswasted.com/Order the book When Grief Comes Home: https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LJessica's House Resources: https://www.jessicashouse.org/resourcesSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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The Griever's Calendar

Apr 1400:32:13Tap to summarize

Some of the hardest grief days aren’t circled on anyone’s holiday planner. We’ve learned from parents that the calendar can ambush you with emotion on days you never expected: the first New Year’s Day without them, a Super Bowl Sunday that used to be full of laughter, an April Fools moment that makes you wish it were all a prank, or even Tax Day when paperwork forces you to face a new identity.We walk through the Griever’s Calendar and explain why these “ordinary” dates can hit so hard when you’re parenting through loss. Erin shares a personal story about the first Fourth of July after her husband Tyler died and how missing roles, routines, and simple support can turn a family tradition into a day that feels overwhelming. Colleen adds what we see in grief groups at Jessica’s House, including how different seasons affect different families and why triggers can stack up when anniversaries, birthdays, and floating holidays collide.Along the way, we offer practical grief support for widowed parents and bereaved families: name what’s coming so it’s less shocking, talk with your kids about what they want, keep traditions if they help, change them if you need to, and scale things down without guilt. We also touch on when it makes sense to outsource stressful tasks and how to honor your limits while you find a new rhythm.If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with a parent who might need it, and leave a rating and review so more families can find support. What date on the calendar feels hardest for you right now?Resources:The Griever's CalendarJessica's House ResourcesSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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Expressing Your Grief Through the Arts

Mar 3100:39:05Tap to summarize

Grief often steals our words, but the body keeps speaking. We open up about how loss rewires the nervous system, why kids struggle to “talk it out,” and what actually helps: safety you can feel, choices that restore control, and creative expression that carries what language can’t. With Erin Nelson and Colleen Montague from Jessica’s House, we break down the brain science in plain terms and show how warm light, soft seating, and even dinner can tell the body it’s safe enough to heal.From there, we get practical. You’ll learn how to co-regulate before you communicate, using simple tools like 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 grounding, cross-body tapping, side-to-side swaying, weighted blankets, and sensory anchors like sour candy or an ice cube. We step outside, too—leaf hunts, star gazing, and lavender rubs make nature a ready-made regulation kit. For kids stuck in anger or freeze, we demonstrate safe outlets that match big energy: a DIY scream box, pool noodles, throwing ice, wall pushes, heavy lifts, stomps, and paper tears that transition into slower, calming motions.Art becomes the bridge. Sand trays, blocks, drums, watercolors, clay, and quick scribbles let children tell complex stories without direct questions. “Colors of My Heart” invites mixed emotions to sit side by side. We model “sports casting” to witness play without judgment, and we take on the inner critic so creativity stays about process, not perfection. Along the way, we share what years in peer support have taught us: when kids have agency, adults show calm, and environments feel safe, expression turns pain into meaning.If this conversation helps, please follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a rating and review so more grieving families can find us. For free resources or to reach out, visit jessicashouse.org and email your questions to info@jessicashouse.org.Order the book When Grief Comes Home https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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God Meets Us In Our Suffering

Mar 1700:35:10Tap to summarize

The ground can drop out in a single phone call—or grind away over months of scans and unanswered pain. We sit down with pastors and co-authors Rolf Jacobson and Michael Pancost to talk about cancer, grief, and the fierce honesty that keeps families tethered when life breaks open. Their friend and co-author Carl died before the manuscript was finished, and that loss threads through every story with clarity and care: no platitudes, no shortcuts, just presence, prayer, and practical help.We unpack the shock of 30 days in the hospital with no contact, the logistics of telling a spouse and children—sometimes over Zoom—and the relief of using CaringBridge to share updates without reliving the news on repeat. Rolf and Michael share how truth-telling builds trust with kids, why some friends disappear and others draw close, and how side-by-side companionship multiplies joys and divides sorrows. If you’ve ever asked where God is in a chemo ward, their answer is simple and hard-won: right there, in the hand you’re holding.Scripture becomes a map, not an umbrella. We linger with Psalm 23 and the Psalms of lament, learning to pray both praise and protest. “You are with me” moves off the page into late nights, waiting rooms, and milestone meals that feel like mini-banquets in the presence of enemies. And yes—there’s laughter. Not as denial, but as oxygen. From cracked jokes in tense rooms to Seinfeld’s wisdom on humor as a life skill, they show how joy and sorrow can share the same table without canceling each other.If you’re navigating cancer, supporting someone who is, or searching for language that holds grief and hope together, this conversation offers grounding practices, theological depth, and humane encouragement. Listen, share it with a caregiver, and tell us what line or ritual carries you on the hardest days. If our work helps you feel less alone, subscribe, leave a review, and pass this along to someone who needs it.Order the book When Grief Comes Home https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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How Saying Goodbye Affects Grief

Mar 300:31:14Tap to summarize

What if you never got to say goodbye? We dig into that question with honesty and care, unpacking how sudden loss and anticipated loss shape grief in different, but equally real, ways. From the shock that hits your nervous system to the looping what if thoughts, we name what so many parents feel but struggle to put into words—and we offer simple, practical ways to say what was left unsaid.Together, we explore the five phrases that heal—thank you, I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, and I forgive you—and show how to use them in letters, private rituals, and visits to meaningful places. We talk about companioning as a posture of presence rather than fixing, and we explain why honest, ongoing conversations can soften guilt and create room for relief, gratitude, and connection. You’ll hear how families create “retroactive” goodbyes that matter just as much as bedside moments, even years later.For kids, we share hands-on ideas that work: a simple “time machine” drawing with a pretend phone to call the past, a “wish I could tell you” jar, and place-based practices like sitting in a loved one’s favorite spot to speak what’s on their heart. We highlight how writing organizes big feelings, how rituals anchor memory, and why the bond with someone who died continues through stories, values, and everyday acts of remembrance.If you’re carrying unsaid words or wondering how to guide a grieving child, this conversation offers validation, language, and tools you can use today. Listen, share with someone who needs it, and if our work helps you, please follow, rate, and leave a review so more families can find support. What message would you add to your goodbye?Order the book When Grief Comes Home https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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Saying Goodbye - After a Long Term Illness

Feb 1700:44:09Tap to summarize

The diagnosis redraws the map of a family’s life, and suddenly everyone is living in two worlds: the one they knew and the one they never asked for. We dive into anticipatory grief—the real grief that begins long before a death—unpacking how it changes routines, identities, and relationships. From the “before and after” moment to the long grind of treatments, we name the hidden costs of caregiving, the overwhelm of new medical language, and the relentless fatigue that makes even simple decisions feel heavy.Together with Erin Nelson and Colleen Montague from Jessica’s House, we get practical about what helps. We explore the myth that more time makes you ready, and why relief, guilt, and anger can sit side by side after a long illness. You’ll hear clear, compassionate scripts for talking with kids about death and illness, ways to validate their feelings without shutting them down, and simple phrases that help them discover they did nothing wrong. We also share strategies for reframing hard rooms and images, using photos, stories, and rituals to separate the person you love from the illness that changed everything.If medical settings now trigger fear, we offer concrete steps for preparing children—alerting providers, involving child life specialists, and using kid-friendly videos to demystify procedures. We talk about choosing quality of life, explaining treatment decisions in age-appropriate ways, and inviting your community into the messy middle without shame. Through it all, we focus on authenticity, presence, and the belief that kids are natural mourners when given empathy and permission.If this conversation supports you, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s grieving, and leave a rating and review to help more families find these tools. Your review puts this episode in the hands of parents who need it most.Order the book When Grief Comes Home https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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Grieving Your Disenfranchised Loss

Feb 300:44:04Tap to summarize

Some grief gets welcomed with casseroles and open arms. Other grief is met with silence, side‑eye, or the sense that you don’t have the right to mourn. We go straight at disenfranchised grief—losses like suicide, overdose, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or the death of an ex‑partner—naming how stigma shrinks support and deepens isolation, and how to reclaim the validation every mourner deserves.We share Erin’s story of two very different deaths and the stark contrast in community response, then define disenfranchised grief and the “unwritten rules” that tell people to hide. Together with Colleen, we unpack sacred silence versus silent indifference, the suspicion that follows certain causes of death, and the internal self‑judgment many parents carry. You’ll hear practical ways to help kids and teens: simple scripts like “my dad died from a mental illness,” how to hold mixed feelings such as relief and sadness at the same time, and why honest conversations about complex relationships protect children from shame.We also offer hands‑on tools you can use today. Learn expressive options beyond talk—art, music, storytelling with figurines, movement—and ceremony ideas when words fall short: lighting a candle, planting a tree after miscarriage, writing letters, and sharing one word that captures your person. We close with prompts that keep the whole person in view: what you’ll never forget, what you want others to know, and the qualities you’ll carry forward.If this resonates, you’re not alone. Your grief matters, your bond was real, and healing grows in community. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a quick review so more families can find support. Have a topic you want us to explore next? Email info@jessicashouse.org and join the conversation.Order the book When Grief Comes Home https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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Going Back to School After Loss

Jan 2000:31:31Tap to summarize

When a child returns to school after a death, routine and heartbreak collide. We open this conversation with Erin’s story of walking her daughter into kindergarten weeks after losing her dad and the quiet power of structure—the same faces at the door, a predictable pickup time, and a teacher who became a steady anchor. From there, we build a practical roadmap parents and educators can use right away: how to set up half-days, flexible assignments, and a discreet system for “grief days” so kids can step out before overwhelm takes over.We talk through classroom dynamics with care. Teachers need language that is clear, concrete, and compassionate when sharing hard news with students. We explain why gathering in a circle, naming death plainly, and normalizing mixed emotions helps classmates welcome a grieving peer without turning them into “the kid whose parent died.” We also share real-world tools for big feelings in busy halls: movement breaks, comfort corners, and small rituals like a double goodbye or matching hearts drawn on hands to ease separation anxiety.Older students face different choices, from taking a lighter load to pausing a term. Erin reflects on her family’s decision to step back from college after the death of a sibling, highlighting how mental health, distance from home, and timing shape what “support” looks like. We round out the conversation with scripts for handling insensitive comments, an ally plan to reduce isolation, and simple ways to check in that go beyond “How are you?”—using a feelings wheel, images, and concrete questions that kids can actually answer.If you’re navigating school after loss, you’re not alone. Grab these strategies, share them with a teacher or counselor, and make a plan your child can trust. For more resources, visit jessicashouse.org. If this conversation helped, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review to help other families find support.Order the book When Grief Comes Home https://a.co/d/ijaiP5LSend us Fan MailFor more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org

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All episodes

How To Support Your Child Through Grief

Northing Is Wasted: Part 2 - Davey Blackburn

Nothing Is Wasted: Part 1 - Davey Blackburn

The Griever's Calendar

Expressing Your Grief Through the Arts

God Meets Us In Our Suffering

How Saying Goodbye Affects Grief

Saying Goodbye - After a Long Term Illness

Grieving Your Disenfranchised Loss

Going Back to School After Loss