In this episode, we dive into the “9-year-old sass” phase — what’s actually happening developmentally and how parents can respond without shaming, escalating, or losing connection.

Around age nine, kids are stretching into independence. They’re testing tone, experimenting with power, and beginning to see the world (and you) through a more critical lens. Eye rolls, dramatic exaggerations, and talking back aren’t signs you’ve failed — they’re signs your child is growing.

We talk about why regulating yourself first is the most important step before responding, and how to hold firm boundaries without falling into either permissiveness or shame. This isn’t about “gentle parenting” versus discipline — it’s about calm leadership

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1:00 – Millennial Find of the Week
3:29 – Sass and 9-year-olds
4:00 – Understanding what’s going on at 9 years old
4:50 – Regulating yourself before responding
8:49 – What to do when they roll their eyes
11:00 – Gentle parenting vs. holding boundaries
13:00 – Not shaming them
13:47 – How to deal with the talking back
15:50 – How to deal with the overdramatic exaggerations
17:00 – Natasha shares a story to explain how she handled it
19:00 – How to respond to 9-year-old dramatics
22:00 – Ways to create extra connection with your 9-year-olds

The 9-Year Change: Understanding Sass Without Losing Connection