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Mercury
Come on, trusty narrator. Is that the fastest you can go?
Trusty Narrator
I'm going, I'm going.
Mercury
Come on. I know you can go faster than that.
Trusty Narrator
Yeah, I don't know about that. Hey, smarty pants, in case you're wondering, I'm up in space again, trying to keep pace with the fastest planet in our solar system, Mercury.
Mercury
Come on. Why are you standing still?
Trusty Narrator
Um, can we take a little break here?
Mercury
A break? Trustee, I've been doing this for four and a half billion years. Surely you can jog around for a few hours.
Trusty Narrator
Okay, okay. Just let me catch my breath and pose some intriguing questions about Mercury for the smarty pants to ponder. Like, what makes Mercury go so fast? Why is the closest planet to the sun so cold? And how is the first planet in our solar system connected to William Shakespeare, Maya Angelou, Walt Disney, and Dr. Seuss? I am indeed a cat. And this indeed is a hat.
Mercury
Oh, the places you'll go, trusty narrator. If you would just go faster.
Trusty Narrator
I'm going, I'm going. It's time for another whiff of science and history on who Smarted. Who Smarted? Who smart is. Is it you? Is it me? Is it science or history? Listen up, everyone. We make smarting lots of fun, but who's smarted? Psst. Hey, smarty pants. You know how much we love sharing super cool facts here on who Smarted, right? Well, I've got another super cool fact for you. The podcast Snoop and Sniffy is absolutely awesome. Now get this. Snoop and Sniffy are these brilliant dog detectives who help kids like you level up your sleuthing skills. We're talking problem solving, deductive reasoning, the whole nine yards. And they do it by going on the most hilarious crime solving adventures you've ever heard. One day they're meeting Magic cockapoos. Magic Cockapoos, Smarty Pants. The next, they're rumbling with something called the Barking Bandit. They explore ghost trains. They time travel. I mean, there is never a dull mystery with these two furry detectives. So here's what I want you to do. Help everyone's favorite dog detectives crack their cases each week by listening to Snoop and Sniffy. You can find them on Apple, Spotify, @gokidgo.com or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me on this one, smarty pants. Your brain is going to love the workout on Snoop and Sniffy. Confession time, smarty pants. I couldn't keep up. Mercury is just too fast. Even Mercury's name has something to do with speed. Do you know where it comes from? Is Mercury. A, a Roman mythological God, B, a Greek God, or C, the ancient name for the fastest animal on Earth, the cheetah. If you said a cheetah, I'm sorry to say you're not even close. A cheetah is no match for Mercury. At its top speed, a cheetah can run about 70 miles or 112 kilometers in one hour. Mercury can do that in under three seconds. It was actually the ancient Romans that named the planet Mercury after a mythological God said to be the fastest of all. Oh, and just for the record, the Greeks had their own God equivalent of Mercury. Do you know his name? If you said Hermes, you're right.
Mercury
Hey, can we get back to Mercury please?
Trusty Narrator
Sure. Mercury has the shortest year of all the planets zipping around the sun in just 88 days. That's more than two and a half times faster than the planet with the same second shortest year. Any idea what planet that is? Earth, Venus or Mars?
Venus
There you go, bringing up Mars again.
Trusty Narrator
Oh hey Venus. I thought I might run into you since you're Mercury's neighbor.
Venus
Uh huh. I'm also the answer to your question. Venus has the second shortest year. Of course, my year wouldn't be so long if I had a small orbit like Mercury's.
Trusty Narrator
It's true. Mercury's orbit around the sun is about 200 million miles, or 320 kilometers smaller than yours.
Venus
And since Mercury is closest to the sun, he gets the biggest pull of the sun's gravity. The more the sun pulls on a planet, the faster it goes.
Trusty Narrator
Are you implying something?
Venus
Yep. Mercury is cheating.
Trusty Narrator
Whoa, I wouldn't quite say that.
Venus
Hey, I'm just saying Mercury likes to act like he's so fast, but let's face it, he's getting some help. Sorry Mercury, you ain't so hot.
Trusty Narrator
Actually, Mercury is very hot. But to your point, Venus, surprisingly, Mercury's not the hottest planet, despite being right next to the Sun. Smarty pants. Any idea which planet is the hottest?
Venus
Time's up. The hottest planet in the solar system is Me. Venus. That's right. But hey, don't feel bad for Mercury. He gets to hold a record too, as the smallest major planet in the solar system.
Trusty Narrator
Yep, that is also true. In fact, Mercury is actually smaller than the largest moons of Jupiter and Saturn. But getting back to the hottest planet.
Venus
You mean me?
Trusty Narrator
Yes, you. No offense Venus, but I find it strange that the second planet from the sun is somehow hotter than the planet closest to the sun.
Venus
No offense taken, but facts is facts, smarty pants.
Trusty Narrator
Any guesses why Venus Is actually hotter than Mercury. Is it? A, Venus has a dense atmosphere, B, Venus gets more sun flares, Or C, Venus is covered in lava. Why?
Venus
It's my abundant atmosphere. It's like a thick, warm blanket that just traps the heat. Meanwhile, Mercury has next to nothing.
Mercury
Maybe so, but I've got more celebrities.
Venus
Whatever. Also, what does that mean, celebrities?
Trusty Narrator
I'm not 100% sure. I better go catch up with Mercury and ask him.
Venus
Catch Mercury? You'll never catch him. No offense.
Trusty Narrator
None taken. And you're right. I can't catch Mercury while running. Luckily, I have this handy jetpack. See ya. Whoa. Whoa. Hey, Mercury, wait up.
Mercury
Hey, trusty narrator. Sweet jetpack.
Trusty Narrator
Thanks. Whoa. I don't use it too often. I'm still a little wobbly. Whoa.
Mercury
Try keeping your back straight like me. If you notice other planets, like Earth, spin at an angle, but I stay practically upright. Good posture can make you a better runner and can improve your breathing, digestion, circulation and jetpacking.
Trusty Narrator
Oh, thanks for the tip. You know, I was just talking to Venus.
Mercury
Let me guess. She was boasting about how she's the hottest planet.
Trusty Narrator
Yep. Pfft.
Mercury
Figures. It's not like I'm some nice balmy place to hang out. I'm way too close to the sun to support any kind of life on my rocky surface. Plus, I'm bombarded by radiation and extreme temperatures. I don't even have seasons.
Trusty Narrator
Wow.
Mercury
Did Venus tell you why she's the hottest planet?
Trusty Narrator
She said it's because she has a dense atmosphere. And you don't?
Mercury
Uh huh. I'm not too proud to admit she's right. My atmosphere is the thinnest of all the planets. And it doesn't hold in the heat. This lets me get a nice cool down during my runs. Maybe too much. Ever had one of those days when it's really hot when the sun is out, but at night the temperature gets cold?
Trusty Narrator
Smartypants, have you ever experienced that sometimes on Earth, the temperature can swing by as much as 50 degrees Fahrenheit in a single day?
Mercury
Yeah, you guys wouldn't stand a chance. On my surface. I have the largest temperature fluctuations in the whole solar system.
Trusty Narrator
Smarty pants. Can you guess how many degrees the temperature can change on Mercury in one day? Is it 100 degrees, 200 degrees, 500 degrees or more?
Mercury
The answer is more. In one day, my temperature can fall by more than 1,000 degrees Fahrenheit or 600 degrees Celsius. During the day, I'm scorching hot, but at night I'm about twice as cold as any place on Earth, including Antarctica. Sure, it's not as cold as the gas giants.
Trusty Narrator
Not that kind of gas. He's talking about Uranus and Neptune.
Mercury
Yeah, but I do get that kind of gas sometimes. But all the running helps with my digestion. But I digress. Unbelievably, I get colder than all the other planets inside the asteroid belt, even though I'm closest to the sun.
Venus
Whoa.
Trusty Narrator
How so?
Mercury
For one thing, it slows me down big time. Earth turns much faster than I do. See if you can guess how long a typical day on me is.
Trusty Narrator
Smartypants, how long is a day on Mercury? Is it a 59 hours, b 59 earth days, or c 176 earth days?
Mercury
The answer is tricky. You see, it takes me 59 earth days to spin around. But because of my speed and my orbit, the sun doesn't rise and set in that time. On my surface, going from normal sunrise to sunset to sunrise again, a typical day can take more than two of my years. And that would be C176 Earth days.
Trusty Narrator
That's a long day.
Mercury
Be glad you don't go to school on Mercury. You'd have thousands of classes in just one day. And that's not the strangest thing. Sunrises are not normal on some parts of my surface.
Trusty Narrator
How so? And what was that you said earlier about celebrities?
Mercury
Would you like to visit my surface and find out?
Trusty Narrator
Sure, smarty pants. Let's do that right after this quick break. Hey parents trusty here with something really smart for your smarty pants. I've got nieces, nephews and close family friends. Some homeschooled, some traditional school. And lately there's one tool they all seem to be using, ixl. One of my nephews was really struggling with reading comprehension. His parents tried ixl and within a couple of weeks and he was not only keeping up, he was excited to read. Then my niece, who's super into math, started exploring topics way beyond her grade level. That's the beauty of ixl. It's flexible. Kids can move at their own pace in any subject, across any grade. A friend's daughter loves the instant feedback and little rewards. It's fun, not stressful. And the parents, they love how easy it is to find the exact topic they're covering the that week. IXL is organized, saves them time and actually helps the kids feel more confident. If you're homeschooling or just want to supplement what your child is learning in traditional school, IXL is a game changer. Get 20% off@ixl.com smarted with the code smarted. That's ixl.com smarted code smarted learning that's flexible, fun, and perfect for your smarty pants. That's ixl. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. So, I'll be honest. I put off building our new website for way too long. I think part of me was waiting for the perfect moment or thought I needed to hire someone or take a design course or something. Total nonsense. Because then I tried Squarespace, and yeah, I was hooked in an hour. Squarespace. Is this all in one platform that makes it ridiculously easy to bring an idea to life online, Whether you're starting a business, launching a project, or just want to finally claim your little corner of the Internet. I used it to build a clean, professional site in a weekend. No coding, no overwhelm, just drag, drop. Done. I used their blueprint AI tool to start, and it generated a smart, customized layout just from a few questions about what we do. So if you've been waiting to launch your site, this is your sign. Head to squarespace.com smarted for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use Code smarted to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Adam Gidwitz
Hi, I'm Adam Gidwitz, host of Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest. On every episode, we tell a grim fairy tale. Not the cute, sweet versions of the fairy tales that your children have heard so many times. No, we tell the real grim fairy tales. They're funny, they're weird. Sometimes they're a little bit scary. But don't worry, we rate every episode Grim, Grimmer or Grimmest. So you, your child, your family can choose the episode that's the right level of scary for you. Tune in to Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest and our new season available now.
Trusty Narrator
Now back to who Smarted. Hey, smarty pants. I'm wearing a protective spacesuit, about to head to the surface of Mercury. Wish me luck. Wow. First mercury impressions. The sun looks huge here, about three times larger than it does on Earth. And the sunlight's intense.
Mercury
It's seven times brighter here than on Earth. Here, let me show you a sunrise. See if you notice anything strange.
Trusty Narrator
Smarty pants, listen in and note if anything sounds odd.
Mercury
Here we go.
Trusty Narrator
Okay, the sun is rising and. No, wait, it's stopping. And it's going back down. But it didn't cross the sky. Oh, wait. Now it's going back up again. What's going on?
Mercury
On parts of my surface, My sunrise is totally out of Whack has to do with my slow rotation and egg shaped orbit. The Sun. The sun goes up, then down, then back up again. Same thing happens at sunset, but in reverse. To rise or not to rise. That is the question.
Trusty Narrator
Hey, was that William Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss? I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we could have lots of good fun. That is funny. And Chuck Berry, one of the inventors of rock and roll.
Mercury
Yep, those are just some of my celebrities. They're all here.
Trusty Narrator
Hmm. Smarty pants. Do you know how Mercury is connected to these celebrities? Is it A, they've all written about Mercury, B, they share a birthday with Mercury? Or C, Mercury's craters are named after them.
Mercury
Well, I was born about 4.5 billion years ago, so nobody knows when my birthday is. The answer is C. Thanks to all the space rocks and objects that have hit me over the years, I'm full of craters. Astronomy astronomers thought it would be fun to name my craters after artists, composers and writers. I have craters named after the poet Maya Angelou, the artist Salvador Dali, the author Leo Tolstoy, and hundreds more. There's even a crater named after Walt Disney that kinda looks like Mickey Mouse.
Trusty Narrator
Smartypants, how do you think Earth discovered all of Mercury's craters? From a space probe, from a telescope, or from astronauts sent to Mercury?
Mercury
Well, no astronauts have ever visited me, that's for sure. Except you, trusty narrator, and I'm just pretending.
Trusty Narrator
The answer is NASA's messenger probe.
Mercury
That thing buzzed around me for over four years.
Trusty Narrator
And it sent back tons of pictures, enough to map the entire surface of Mercury, capturing every crater. You can see them on NASA's website for free.
Mercury
Every crater except the one MESSENGER made when it crashed into my surface at the end of its mission.
Trusty Narrator
I hear the European Space Agency is sending another probe your way and it's going to learn more about craters by studying Messenger's impact.
Mercury
Really? Well, if I'm going to be photographed up close, I want to look my best, so I'm gonna keep working out. You joining me, trustee?
Trusty Narrator
Um, I think I've had enough for today. And let's face it, you're just way too fast for me. A big shout out to superfan Edward in Montclair, New Jersey. We're so glad you love learning cool facts and request. Who smarted? Whenever you're taking a car ride, say hi to grandpa for us. This episode Mercury was written by Dave Beaudry and voiced by Jason Williams, Charlotte Cohn, Max Kamasky and Jerry Colbert. Technical direction and Sound design by Josh Hahn who Smarted is recorded and mixed at the Relic Room Studios. Our associate producer is Max Kamasky. The theme song is by Brian Suarez with lyrics written and performed by Adam Tex Davis. Who Smarted was created and produced by Adam Tex Davis and Jerry Colber. This has been an Atomic Entertainment production Too Smart and.
Release Date: June 20, 2025
Host/Author: Atomic Entertainment / Starglow Media
Episode Focus: Exploring the unique characteristics of Mercury, the closest planet to the Sun, and understanding how it manages extreme conditions.
The episode opens with a playful interaction between Mercury and the Trusty Narrator, setting the stage for an engaging exploration of Mercury’s remarkable speed and orbital dynamics.
The Trusty Narrator introduces intriguing questions to pique the listeners’ curiosity:
Mercury boasts the shortest orbital period of all the planets, completing a revolution around the Sun in just 88 Earth days.
In comparison, Venus has the second shortest year, which Mercury explains as a result of its smaller orbit:
The discussion highlights how Mercury’s proximity to the Sun results in a stronger gravitational pull, contributing to its rapid orbit.
A surprising revelation unfolds when Venus steps into the conversation, asserting that it is the hottest planet in the solar system, not Mercury.
Mercury counters by explaining its own temperature dynamics:
The Trusty Narrator poses a multiple-choice question to explore this phenomenon:
Answer: Venus’s dense atmosphere acts like a thick blanket, trapping heat and making it hotter than Mercury, which has a negligible atmosphere allowing for drastic temperature swings.
Mercury’s rotation is uniquely slow compared to its orbital speed, leading to an exceptionally long day.
This results in a single Mercurian day lasting 176 Earth days.
Mercury experiences the most significant temperature variations of any planet in the solar system due to its thin atmosphere and slow rotation.
During the day, temperatures soar, while at night they plummet to levels colder than any place on Earth, including Antarctica.
One of Mercury’s most fascinating features is its erratic sunrise and sunset patterns caused by its slow rotation and elliptical orbit.
Listeners are encouraged to imagine witnessing a sunrise that doesn’t follow the typical trajectory:
The episode delves into the history and significance of Mercury’s craters, many of which are named after renowned artists, composers, and writers.
This tradition honors the legacy of cultural icons and ties Mercury’s geological features to human creativity.
The Trusty Narrator explains how humanity has mapped Mercury’s surface, primarily through space missions.
Answer: NASA’s MESSENGER probe provided extensive photographic data, allowing scientists to map Mercury’s surface in detail.
The European Space Agency’s upcoming missions aim to further study Mercury’s craters and geological history.
The episode wraps up with acknowledgments to the episode’s creators and contributors, highlighting the collaborative effort behind the educational content.
The hosts encourage listeners to continue exploring and learning, reinforcing the podcast’s mission to make education fun and engaging.
This episode of "Who Smarted?" skillfully combines humor, storytelling, and scientific facts to delve deep into the mysteries of Mercury. By anthropomorphizing the planet and engaging in lively dialogues, the podcast makes complex astronomical concepts accessible and entertaining for young listeners. Whether it’s understanding Mercury’s rapid orbit, extreme temperature variations, or the history behind its craters, this episode offers a comprehensive and enjoyable learning experience that inspires curiosity about our solar system.