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Gia
Psst. Hey, smarty pants. Guess where I am. Did you say a restaurant? Great. Guess. I'm at a local diner with my friend Gia.
Adam
Hey, smarty pants. How's it going?
Gia
We just ordered a ton of our favorite lunch foods. Cheeseburgers with cheese fries, Mac and cheese, and two large vanilla milkshakes. Am I forgetting something? I feel like I forgot something.
Adam
Nachos.
Gia
Ah, yes, of course. Nachos.
Adam
With extra queso.
Gia
Of course. Extra queso. Which, in case you don't know, is melted cheese sauce with chili peppers. Yum.
Adam
Double yum. Oh, look. Here it comes.
Gia
Whoa. Ah, that was so good.
Adam
I'm stuffed. I can't eat another bite.
Gia
Me neither. Well, maybe one more. Okay, now I'm done. Well, except for dessert.
Adam
Ooh. I know. Let's get cheesecake.
Gia
Great idea. Waiter. Um, what was that?
Adam
Oh, boy. I don't feel so good.
Gia
Jia, are you okay?
Adam
Ugh, my stomach really hurts. I feel bloated and a little. Sorry, trusty narrator. I don't know what's going on lately. I've been getting a tummy ache whenever I eat lots of dairy.
Gia
Hmm. Sounds like you might be lactose intolerant.
Adam
Lactose intolerant?
Gia
What's that, smarty pants? Do you know what lactose intolerance is? It sounds like a big word or two. Big words. But lactose intolerance simply refers to your body's inability to. To break down lactose, a type of natural sugar found in dairy products like milk, cheese, and yogurt.
Adam
Or cheeseburgers, cheese fries, Mac and cheese milkshakes, queso and.
Gia
Okay, who's ready for our famous cheesecake?
Adam
I'm ready for the bathroom. Brb.
Gia
Poor kid. But the good news is, we can help Gia learn more about lactose intolerance and. And answer all her lactose intolerance questions. Like what happens in your body when you're lactose intolerant? Are there alternatives to dairy products for people with lactose intolerance? And is there any way for a lactose intolerant person to still enjoy favorite foods like pizza, cheeseburgers, and queso without feeling sick?
Adam
Okay, I'm back. No, I'm not.
Gia
It's time for another whiff of science on who's smarted? Who's smarted?
Adam
Who's smart?
Gia
Is it you? Is it me? Is it science? Or history? Listen up, everyone. We make smarting lots of fun. But who's smarted? Do you want to spend another summer stuck at home? Abe.
Adam
Jim.
Gia
How's your back? Oh, you know. I hear you Small talk behind because Disney and Pixar invite you on an out of this world adventure.
Adam
Engaging hyperspeed.
Gia
This is awesome. On June 20th. Welcome to the community.
Adam
Prepare to be conquered. But I just got here. Follow me. What is this, Lace? These are the lava tunnels.
Gia
I am not fireproof. Disney Pixar's Elliot in theaters June 20th. Tickets available now.
Adam
Rated PG.
Gia
Parental guidance suggested.
Adam
I'm feeling a little better now, but that was kind of crazy. My stomach hurt and I had to go to the bathroom just from eating a little dairy. Umm, okay, a lot of dairy. But wait, does this mean I won't be able to eat cheeseburgers and Mac and cheese and nachos with queso ever again? Oh, no.
Gia
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Before you freak out, let's first explain what's happening inside you or anyone who is lactose intolerant.
Adam
Fine. I can always freak out later.
Gia
You see, normally when you eat or drink foods that contain lactose, things like milk, cheese, or yogurt, your small intestine produces an enzyme called lactase that helps break down the lactose molecules and allows you to properly digest dairy. But when you're lactose intolerant, your body doesn't produce enough of the lactase enzyme to break down the lactose. When this happens, the undigested lactose interacts with the normal gut bacteria that live inside your large intestine, which causes bloating, gas and diarrhea.
Adam
Ugh, don't remind me.
Gia
The good news is the symptoms are only temporary.
Adam
And the bad news is I can't have milkshakes. And queso. I love queso. But I don't understand. I used to be able to eat cheese and drink milk all the time. In fact, I used to have milk in both regular and chocolate form almost every night as a kid with no problem. What gives?
Gia
Ah, good point, smarty pants. Do you drink milk? I know I did when I was a young thirsty narrator. Well, as it turns out, almost all babies are born with the lactase enzyme in order to effectively digest their mother's milk. So it makes sense why you have the ability to drink milk as a kid, but as you get older, your lactase production naturally decreases because your diet has become much more diverse and doesn't rely on just milk.
Adam
Ah, so you're saying as you get older and drink less milk, your body doesn't feel the need to produce the enzymes needed to break it down.
Gia
Exactly. In a way, your body is trying to be helpful and not make unnecessary work for itself. But unfortunately, it can have negative side effects when you do indulge in your daily dairy.
Adam
This sounds like a pretty common problem. Are there lots of people with lactose intolerance?
Gia
What do you think, smartypants? Is it common or uncommon? If you said extremely common, you're right. Over two thirds or two out of every three people in the world are lactose intolerant. True or false? Only humans can be lactose intolerant. The answer is false. Animals like cats and dogs can be lactose intolerant. Cows too.
Adam
Whoa. Is being lactose intolerant a relatively new thing? I'm guessing it is.
Gia
What do you think, smartypants? Well, you might be surprised to learn that early humans were all completely lactose intolerant. Me shouldn't drink milk? Yep. It was only a few thousand years ago when a mutation in the human genome allowed humans to carry their lactase enzymes into adulthood.
Adam
No way. In other words, humans evolved to be able to drink milk as adults.
Gia
Correctamundo. Around 10,000 years ago, early farmers started drinking dairy milk well before their bodies were able to process the lactose. As you can imagine, this led to a lot of farmers with tummy aches. Old MacDonald had a farm yah, yah, oh, oh, oh, no. Sounds like old MacDonald had a fart. Fortunately, over the course of thousands of years, farmers bodies began to develop a way to keep their lactase enzymes into adulthood. This allowed them to drink milk without any unpleasant side effects. With a here and a there, here a there a everywhere a. This was especially helpful during times of famine, when other sources of food were hard to come by. Just imagine if you couldn't drink milk from your cows and you'd go hungry. The milk gene was selectively passed down through generations of early farmers, and today lactose tolerance is extremely common in places like northern Europe, where more than 90% of people can drink milk as adults with no problem.
Adam
But wait, I thought you said most of the world today is lactose intolerant.
Gia
It is. While lactose tolerance might be common in certain parts of the world, it's much less common in other parts. And like in Africa, Asia and South America.
Adam
I see. But why?
Gia
The truth is, we're not entirely sure. One of the leading theories says that adults from Europe have a higher percentage of lactose tolerance because their ancestors lived in places with milder climates where dairy cows could be raised more safely and effectively, as opposed to adults whose ancestors lived in very hot or very cold climates where dairy farming was more difficult and milk or was more scarce.
Adam
Makes sense. But let's Talk about me now. Now that I'm lactose intolerant, does this mean I have to cut out dairy forever?
Gia
Good question. The answer is right after this quick break. Hey, parents trusty here with something really smart for your smarty pants. I've got nieces, nephews, and close family friends. Some homeschooled, some traditional school. And lately, there's one tool they all seem to be using. Ixl. One of my nephews was really struggling with reading comprehension. His parents tried ixl, and within a couple of weeks, he was not only keeping up, he was excited to read. Then my niece, who's super into math, started exploring topics way beyond her grade level. That's the beauty of ixl. It's flexible. Kids can move at their own pace in any subject, across any grade. A friend's daughter loves the instant feedback and little rewards. It's fun, not stressful. And the parents, they love how easy it is to find the exact topic they're covering that week. IXL is organized, saves them time, and actually helps the kids feel more confident. If you're homeschooling or just want to supplement what your child is learning in traditional school, IXL is a game changer. Get 20% off@ixl.com smarted with the code smarted. That's ixl.com smarted code smarted learning that's flexible, fun, and perfect for your smarty pants. That's ixl. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. So I'll be honest. I put off building our new website for way too long. I think part of me was waiting for the perfect moment or thought I needed to hire someone or take a design course or something. Total nonsense. Because then I tried Squarespace and yeah, I was hooked in an hour. Squarespace. Is this all in one platform? That makes it ridiculously easy to bring an idea to life online. Whether you're starting a business, launching a project, or just want to finally claim your little corner of the Internet, I used it to build a clean, professional site in a weekend. No coding, no overwhelm, just drag, drop. Done. I used their blueprint AI tool to start, and it generated a smart, customized layout just from a few questions about what we do. So if you've been waiting to launch your site, this is your sign. Head to squarespace.com smarted for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use Code smarted to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Now back to WhoSmarted. So you just found out you're lactose intolerant. Does that mean you have to give up all of your favorite dairy foods, like queso?
Adam
No.
Gia
Well, the answer is not exactly.
Adam
Really? Please trust the narrator. Tell me there's hope.
Gia
Smartypants. Do you have a favorite type of cheese? Did you say cheddar or Parmesan or perhaps Gouda? That's a Gouda choice, especially if you're lactose intolerant. You see, a glass of milk contains on average about 13 grams of lactose. But softer cheeses like ricotta, mozzarella, and cream cheese only contain up to 6 grams of lactose, while hard cheeses like gouda and Cheddar only contain as little as a quarter of a gram of lactose.
Adam
Ah, so the harder the cheese, the easier it is to digest for lactose intolerant people.
Gia
Correct. Amundo again.
Adam
And soft cheeses are less good than hard cheeses, but better than regular milk.
Gia
Uh huh.
Adam
But wait, isn't cheese made from milk?
Gia
It is. However, most hard cheeses are relatively safe for lactose intolerant people because most of the lactose is removed in the cheese making process. When making cheese, milk is separated into whey and curds. Lactose is mostly found in whey, which is removed in the fermenting or aging process, and then the cheese is made from curd. Lactose levels are also affected by time. The longer a cheese is aged or fermented, the less lactose it will have. Harder cheeses age for longer periods of time than softer cheeses, which is why they're safer to eat for lactose intolerant people.
Adam
Okay, I feel a little better knowing I can still enjoy some cheeses without my stomach going crazy, but I'm definitely going to miss having ice cream.
Gia
Aha. But what if I told you there was a way you could still enjoy your favorite dairy foods without any side effects?
Adam
I would say, whoa.
Gia
Well, hold on to your lactose because you can still enjoy all your favorite ice creams, milkshakes, and queso without any symptoms. How, you ask? The answer is a lactase enzyme pill.
Adam
Did you say a pill?
Gia
That's right. Lactase enzyme pills like Lactaid have been around for over 40 years. These pills contain the necessary lactase enzyme that lactose intolerant people need to be able to digest dairy. When you take one right before eating dairy, the lactase enzymes go to work breaking down the lactose molecules, saving you from.
Adam
That's amazing. But what if I don't have a magical lactate pill handy?
Gia
Smartypants, what do you think? Have you Ever heard of dairy free milk? Perhaps you've seen it in your local grocery store here. Which of the following milks do you think are a lactose free alternative to dairy milk? A soy milk, B almond milk, C oat milk, or D coconut milk? Did you say all of them? That's right. All four are great lactose free alternatives to dairy milk.
Adam
Hold on. How can almonds have milk? They're almonds.
Gia
It's true. Almonds aren't milked like a cow or a goat. Instead, almond milk is made by blending almonds with water and then straining the mixture to remove the solids. Other dairy free milks like soy milk and oat milk go through a similar process. And the best part, they can all be made into ice cream. Wow.
Adam
This has been the worst and best day ever. Let's get some dairy free ice cream for dessert.
Gia
Sure. On second thought, I think I might be lactose intolerant too. Be right back. A super shout out to Lela in Durham, North Carolina. A little birdie told me you love who Smarted the best and that you're curious how people invented words and learned to speak such a great question. Hope this episode helped answer some of that. This episode, Lactose Intolerance, was written by Brad Dairy Free Deprima and voiced by Gia no Dairy Davis, Adam Lactai Davis, Max Cheezless Kamasky and Jerry Colbert. Technical direction and sound design by Josh hold the Butter Hahn who Smarted is recorded and mixed at the Relic Room Studios. Our associate producer is Max Milkless Kamasky. The theme song is by Brian Soymilk Suarez with lyrics written and performed by Adam Tex Davis. Who Smarted was created and produced by Adam Tex Davis and Jerry Colbert. This has been an Atomic Entertainment production. Who's Smarted.
Who Smarted? - Episode Summary: "If You're Lactose Intolerant and Eat Dairy...What Happens?"
Release Date: June 2, 2025
Podcast: Who Smarted? - Educational Podcast for Kids
Host/Author: Atomic Entertainment / Starglow Media
The episode kicks off with Gia and Adam enjoying a hearty meal at a local diner, indulging in cheeseburgers, cheese fries, mac and cheese, nachos with extra queso, and large vanilla milkshakes. The jovial atmosphere quickly shifts when Adam begins to feel unwell after consuming a significant amount of dairy.
Notable Quote:
Adam [01:14]: "Sorry, trusty narrator. I don't know what's going on lately. I've been getting a tummy ache whenever I eat lots of dairy."
Gia immediately suspects that Adam might be lactose intolerant. She breaks down the term for the young audience, explaining it in simple terms.
Notable Quote:
Gia [01:31]: "What's that, smarty pants? Do you know what lactose intolerance is? It sounds like a big word or two. But lactose intolerance simply refers to your body's inability to break down lactose, a type of natural sugar found in dairy products like milk, cheese, and yogurt."
The hosts delve deeper into what happens in the body when someone is lactose intolerant. Gia explains the role of the lactase enzyme and how its deficiency leads to uncomfortable symptoms.
Notable Quote:
Gia [04:06]: "You see, normally when you eat or drink foods that contain lactose... your small intestine produces an enzyme called lactase that helps break down the lactose molecules and allows you to properly digest dairy."
Adam expresses his frustration and confusion about suddenly becoming lactose intolerant despite having no issues in the past.
Notable Quote:
Adam [04:48]: "And the bad news is I can't have milkshakes. And queso. I love queso. But I don't understand. I used to be able to eat cheese and drink milk all the time..."
Gia provides fascinating insights into how lactose intolerance is a common condition worldwide and explores its evolutionary background. She explains that most adult mammals are lactose intolerant, and only a subset of human populations developed lactose tolerance due to historical dairy farming practices.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to practical solutions for managing lactose intolerance without giving up beloved dairy foods entirely. Gia introduces several strategies, including choosing lactose-free alternatives and utilizing lactase enzyme supplements.
Notable Quote:
Gia [12:01]: "Smartypants, do you have a favorite type of cheese? Did you say cheddar or Parmesan or perhaps Gouda? That's a Gouda choice, especially if you're lactose intolerant."
She explains that harder cheeses like Gouda and Cheddar contain significantly less lactose compared to softer cheeses, making them more suitable for those with lactose intolerance.
Notable Quote:
Gia [12:49]: "Most hard cheeses are relatively safe for lactose intolerant people because most of the lactose is removed in the cheese-making process."
Gia offers hope to lactose-intolerant listeners by introducing lactase enzyme pills and various dairy-free milk alternatives such as soy, almond, oat, and coconut milk. These alternatives allow individuals to enjoy dairy-like products without discomfort.
Notable Quote:
Gia [14:05]: "Lactase enzyme pills like Lactaid have been around for over 40 years. These pills contain the necessary lactase enzyme that lactose intolerant people need to be able to digest dairy."
She further explains how dairy-free milks are made, making them accessible and versatile for various uses like ice cream and milkshakes.
Notable Quote:
Gia [15:13]: "Almonds aren't milked like a cow or a goat. Instead, almond milk is made by blending almonds with water and then straining the mixture to remove the solids."
The episode wraps up with Adam feeling reassured about managing his lactose intolerance. Gia emphasizes that with the right knowledge and alternatives, one doesn't have to completely give up favorite dairy treats.
Notable Quote:
Adam [15:43]: "This has been the worst and best day ever. Let's get some dairy-free ice cream for dessert."
Educational Impact: This episode effectively combines humor and informative content to educate young listeners and their families about lactose intolerance, its causes, prevalence, and practical solutions to enjoy dairy without discomfort.
Produced by Atomic Entertainment and Starglow Media, this episode of "Who Smarted?" not only entertains but also empowers listeners with valuable health and nutritional information.