Before You Say 'I Do' | Sadie Robertson Huff | Laney Rene | Sarah Cash | Gracie Tucker

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Before You Say 'I Do'" | WHOA That's Good Podcast

Episode Information:

• Title: Before You Say 'I Do'
• Host: Sadie Robertson Huff
• Guests: Laney Rene, Sarah Cash, Gracie Tucker
• Release Date: April 14, 2025

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Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of the "WHOA That's Good" podcast, host Sadie Robertson Huff engages in a meaningful discussion with her close friends Laney Rene, Sarah Cash, and Gracie Tucker. The central theme revolves around navigating relationships before marriage, understanding deal breakers, and sharing personal stories of how each guest met their spouse. The conversation delves deep into the importance of finding peace in relationships, overcoming past mistakes, and aligning faith with partnership.

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Forming Sisterhood and Friendship Dynamics

[02:02 - 04:02]

Gracie introduces the conversation by highlighting the strong bond she shares with Sarah and Laney, referring to them as "sister-type friends." She reminisces about their early 20s friendship stages, where they were navigating singlehood and uncertain life paths.

Gracie (02:44): “We all became friends at a really unique stage of our life. Early 20s… and none of us were dating the person we would marry when we met.”

---

Navigating Dance Circles and Social Comfort

[04:02 - 06:42]

The friends share lighthearted anecdotes about attending hip hop classes together, highlighting their varying levels of dance skills and social comfort. Laney humorously describes her dance moves during weddings, emphasizing the importance of stepping out of one's comfort zone.

Laney (06:07): “Can I actually tell y'all something? … I do the fishing pole.”

---

Exploring Deal Breakers in Relationships

[06:42 - 10:27]

Gracie steers the conversation towards relationship advice, focusing on deal breakers for potential husbands. The discussion emphasizes the balance between preferences and non-negotiables, encouraging listeners to reflect on what truly matters in a partner.

Sarah (08:16): “Gracie's still on the [...] process right now of, like, what's a deal breaker for you?”

---

Personal Stories: Meeting Their Spouses

**#### Sarah Meets Martin [22:34 - 27:37]

Sarah narrates her serendipitous meeting with Martin on the Ultimate Frisbee field at church. She shares the initial impressions, the gradual buildup of friendship, and the moment she realized he might be "the one." Her story underscores the importance of feeling peace and authenticity in a relationship.

Sarah (23:20): “We met on the field and I shook his hand and I remember thinking one, his handshake is so strong.”

**#### Laney Meets Clayton [35:22 - 43:54]

Laney recounts meeting Clayton at a Luke Bryan concert, describing her initial reluctance and the supportive role her friends played in encouraging her to pursue the relationship. The narrative highlights the significance of intuition and God's guidance in forming meaningful connections.

Gracie (36:45): “...you were the one that was new. It was obvious that it was different.”

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The Concept of "Having Peace" in Relationships

[27:37 - 32:42]

The trio discusses the importance of experiencing peace in a relationship, a state where one doesn't feel the need to impress or constantly question the partner's feelings. They reference Proverbs 3:17, emphasizing wisdom and intentionality in relationships.

Gracie (28:32): “This is what we've been wanting you on for so long. Because like, sweet within a one minute answer about that. I feel like that speaks so much wisdom to so many people.”

---

Dealing with Past Mistakes and Embracing Purity

[54:45 - 58:22]

The conversation shifts to addressing past mistakes in relationships and the possibility of redeeming and entering marriage with purity. Laney shares profound insights on righteousness through Christ's blood, reinforcing the belief that past imperfections are washed away, allowing for pure and unburdened relationships.

Laney (54:46): “It is his righteousness. It's not your own. So the answer is absolutely yes, because it's built on his purity and not your purity.”

Gracie echoes similar sentiments, discussing the importance of forgiveness and the transformative power of faith in overcoming previous relational turmoil.

Gracie (56:04): “Christian and I both read through Proverbs together... it just puts your mind in the right place.”

---

Navigating Religious Differences as Deal Breakers

[59:18 - 61:57]

Addressing listeners' questions, the friends explore how differing religious denominations can act as significant deal breakers. Laney shares her experience with a past relationship where differing church practices led to the end of the relationship, emphasizing the necessity of shared faith in partnership.

Laney (60:53): “If you don't find the person that you feel is the best for you to marry... you don't get married.”

---

Faith in Actions vs. Words

[61:57 - 63:43]

Sarah and Gracie discuss the disparity between professing Christian faith and living it authentically. They stress the importance of aligning actions with religious beliefs, advising listeners to observe the fruits of one's spirit rather than just declarations of faith.

Sarah (63:02): “You'll know them by their fruits. So is their life, is their life fruitful?”

---

Humor and Compatibility in Relationships

[43:54 - 52:08]

Injecting humor into the discussion, the friends talk about the role of laughter and shared jokes in fostering a strong relationship. They share amusing stories about their spouses, highlighting how different senses of humor can complement each other uniquely.

Gracie (50:39): “But Christian got it, and we still have different humors. Completely different humors.”

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Final Thoughts and Wisdom Sharing

[52:08 - 66:14]

Wrapping up, the guests reflect on the collective wisdom they've gained through their friendships and marriages. They emphasize the value of community support, intentionality in relationships, and unwavering faith. Gracie expresses gratitude for her friends' influence, reinforcing the podcast's message of nurturing meaningful and faith-aligned relationships.

Gracie (65:20): “You should help them in their life. What's wrong with Crocs, ladies? Like, I wear Crocs.”

Sadie Robertson Huff (Conclusion): Encourages listeners to apply the shared wisdom in their own lives and relationships, fostering a community of support and growth.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Gracie (02:44): “We all became friends at a really unique stage of our life. Early 20s… and none of us were dating the person we would marry when we met.”

• Laney (06:07): “Can I actually tell y'all something? … I do the fishing pole.”

• Laney (54:46): “It is his righteousness. It's not your own. So the answer is absolutely yes, because it's built on his purity and not your purity.”

• Sarah (63:02): “You’ll know them by their fruits. So is their life, is their life fruitful?”

---

Conclusion

"Before You Say 'I Do'" offers listeners an enriching exploration of love, faith, and intentionality in relationships. Through personal anecdotes and collective wisdom, Sadie Robertson Huff and her guests provide valuable insights into identifying and navigating deal breakers, the significance of shared faith, and the transformative power of peace and forgiveness in building lasting, meaningful marriages. This episode serves as a beacon for anyone seeking guidance on their journey to finding a partner aligned with their values and faith.

Transcript

[Lani]

Foreign.

[Gracie]

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[Sarah]

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[Gracie]

What's up, everybody? I hope you're having a great day and I sure am having a great day. I'm so excited for this episode because I have some of my very best friends in the world, like sister type friends here in the house today. And I've had, I guess almost everybody on Sarah is the. She's a diva. It's just hard. It's hard to get. Not from a lack of trying. Have tried to get Sarah on many times, but she's rocking and rolling and we finally got her in the house along with Gracie and Lany. For those who don't know, we are the Har Hars. I don't know how you would know that, because I don't know if we ever went public with that. We didn't.

[Sarah]

Except for comments on pictures.

[Gracie]

But we know our truly best friends. We all became friends at a really unique stage of our life. Early 20s. We were all relatively single, as in, we might have been dating people, but we were not married yet, and we were not. None of us were dating. The person did marry when we met, so we met at that time in life. We also were all not quite sure the path that God had us on. Sarah had a maga Day. If you've ever been to Franklin, Tennessee, and shopped Maga Day, that Sarah's store. So you had a clear direction, but. And then I had the vision for Ello. We're walking in it. Gracie. That was before milkshake bar. No so much. You were in high school when we met. I know, which is so crazy. Yeah.

[Lane]

That's wild.

[Gracie]

But you were a really cool high schooler.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Gracie]

I remember when we met you, and you were wearing those, like, fake glasses.

[Lane]

I was a phase. I was such a hipster for, like, two months. And you met me then.

[Lani]

It was the fact that you looked so old. Remember? And then you started talking.

[Lane]

We were like, she's like, she's 11.

[Gracie]

Okay, well, like, perspective. You know how, like, when you think back to when you met someone, you're like, man, I had such a different perspective of you than, like, who you actually are. And I'm thinking, like, you were wearing, like, fake hipster glasses.

[Lane]

Oh, yeah.

[Gracie]

And you were about to leave for Greece for a modeling trip. So, like, you were like, the coolest hipster, legitimate worldwide model.

[Lane]

Honestly, hipster was in, though. That was 2017. Hipster was everything.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Lane]

I committed.

[Gracie]

You were full committed. And you were Sarah's little sister, but you were crushing it. And we were like, she's cool. And then, Lane, you were beatbopping around. You were literally hip hop dancing.

[Lani]

Yep.

[Gracie]

And you're no longer doing that necessarily.

[Lani]

Nope.

[Gracie]

Or are you?

[Lani]

No, that's it.

[Gracie]

At home. I'm like, it's only at home.

[Lani]

My kitchen only on. Only on Instagram.

[Gracie]

Lani would always inspire Gracie, Sarah, and I to go to these hip hop classes. One problem. It wasn't just, like, hip hop workout classes. It was, like, the place where legitimate hip hop dancers go. And it's like when you see those videos on Instagram and, you know, they line up at the end, everyone's like, yeah, yeah. There's like three people in the middle, and they're crushing it. Like, that's where we were. And we didn't dance like lady did.

[Lani]

I needed y'all there, though. Y'all were my, like, my confidence.

[Lane]

Y'all can dance. We. It's not genetics. Like, for real. Even when you try to teach me, like, a TikTok dance or something, physically, it's not in the cards.

[Gracie]

Y'all were not in the cards. I will admit, y'all were. Another level.

[Lane]

That was my best. That was my best work.

[Sarah]

We were trying.

[Lani]

My favorite's when y'all sing.

[Lane]

Oh, lady, that's my favorite sing, too. I mean, yeah, I'm getting better every day.

[Gracie]

Dancing and singing is not the strong suit. But when we were at those hip hop classes, I'll never forget, it was so funny. It would happen every time the instructor would come over, and they kind of be like, oh, yeah, we're glad y'all are here. You know? And they'd look at me and be like, oh, we're so glad you're here. You were kind of like, getting some of it. I'm like, yeah, thank you. And then they'd be like, and you. You are a dancer. Like, you need. And I'm like, did you bring us here so that we could hide?

[Lane]

Probably.

[Lani]

Probably.

[Lane]

No.

[Gracie]

Lani would always get asked, like, be in the middle of those dances, and we never got asked.

[Sarah]

Never. I was in the back, wall against.

[Gracie]

Against the wall.

[Lane]

Can I actually tell y'all something? I have, like a. I'm like, ruining it for all the future events that I'm in this situation. But at a wedding or something, anytime somebody puts me in the dance circle one, I'm like, I kind of hate you, but I always do this. I'm like, I wiggle, wiggle. And then I. I do the fishing pole. I do the fishing pole to the most outgoing person who I know wants to do the split. And I re. That is because you can't not go in, or else they pour gas on the fire. And it's, like, awkward. So I'm like, I'm going in and I'm gonna do the fishing pole.

[Gracie]

So actually, like, a memory that actually makes me cringe about myself was at our wedding. It was probably the fifth time we got thrown into the middle of the dance circle. And at 5, you're like, I'm out. What?

[Lane]

Kind of tiny.

[Gracie]

I'm actually cool with the first time I have my move. I know what I'm gonna do. Everyone cheers. It's great. Two, I'm not that great at three, I was, like, stretching. Four, it was bad. But five, what are you supposed to do? And me and Christian both got thrown in. And I remember we just, like, looked at each other, like, and it was. I can't even tell you what. It was so awkward. And I just remember Xander, Christian's cousin, Be like, yeah, like, starting the clap for us. And I was like, oh, I gotta get out of this. It's so funny. But today we are going to talk about all kinds of things. But we have been kind of on a relationship kick lately because a lot of people have been asking us about, like, relationship questions and specifically deal breakers for potential husbands, which I thought y'all would be a really fun group of people to talk about this with, because we all walk through each other dating so many different people, some more than others, and we all, like, you know, helped each other through. What's a deal breaker? What's. Okay, what's preference? What's this? What's that? And then ultimately, you know, got to find our spouses. Gracie's still on the. I wouldn't even say this search because Gracie's still living.

[Lane]

And technically, I am single. Actually, I said, said technically dating no one. I haven't texted anybody in, like, months. It's no technical needed.

[Gracie]

But you are in the process right now of, like, what's a deal breaker for you? And to be fair, like, I've. I'm inspired by your dating abilities because you. You always have a date. Like, you have. I do try dated somebody. You have not gone on a date. You haven't dated someone a while, but I feel like you've gone on a lot of dates.

[Lane]

Yes.

[Gracie]

I don't live there anymore. Sarah, you want to speak to what you see in Gracie's singleness right now with her dating. What does that look like?

[Lane]

I'm terrified.

[Sarah]

Like, that's a hard question. Okay, so Gracie is the biggest catch of any single girl that I know. She's awesome.

[Gracie]

So.

[Sarah]

And she's beautiful. And she's like, guys, of course, would want to go on dates with you. But any guy asking a girl on a date is a hard. Like, guys don't just ask girls on dates all the time anymore. So it's like, I've seen. Gracie obviously wants to try. Like, you can't sit on your couch and be sad about being single if you're not going where the young people go or the single people go. Or, like, she plays pickleball and goes to church and like, not that she does those things only to meet a person, but that's where like those are common interests and things that matter to her. So putting yourself where single people are. And then I say, like, go with what you have peace on, but for a little bit, Gracie's on dating apps and meeting like great people on a dating app and then, you know, giving them a shot, saying yes, going to dinner, even just to like normalize the. Not every date you say yes to or that you ask a girl out to means you're going to marry them. Like, you can go on a date and get to know someone and have a good time and like part ways and thanks so much. I don't see a future or like, go out another time. But I do feel like you do a great job of putting yourself where people you could be interested in are and then also putting yourself out there and not being afraid to talk. But also know your worth and not get so much of your like, value or identity or worth out of if someone asks you out again or doesn't ask you out.

[Lani]

That's really good.

[Gracie]

That was like, whoa, that's good. I'm not even kidding. This is why we've been wanting you on for so long. Because like, sweet within a one minute answer about that. I feel like that speaks so much wisdom to so many people. Like, if you're single. Yes. Like, you can't just sit on the couch and be like, oh, I wish I was dating someone. Like, you do have to put yourself in certain scenarios where you might meet somebody. Like, that's such good advice. But then also, like, know your worth and know your value and don't get too desperate that it's like anybody. I love that. You also said that when it comes to dating, there is something to be said about like, not every date do you have to think you're going to marry this person to go on that date. Like there is something to like casually dating. And I think this gets a little bit tricky like within the church because so many people are like, date to marry, date to marry. And you hear that and it's like, true. But also I think that puts so much pressure on people. It's like not even want to go on a date because they're like, well, what if I, what if I don't see myself marrying? How would you know? Yeah, I feel like we talked about that a lot because you, I grew.

[Lani]

Up very much like, you only date pretty much if you know you're going to marry somebody. Whereas I feel like. Not that my parents put that on me, but, like, I feel like when we started dating, we were so. We started being friends.

[Gracie]

We started dating.

[Lane]

We were friends. You.

[Lani]

You were dating so much. And I was, like, not dating at all. You know, once I ended that long relationship. And then it was like, wait, these two, like, need to merge. Like, you.

[Gracie]

I need.

[Lani]

You needed to chill, and I needed to pick it up a little. Like, just be more open. Which led to, like, funny, funny dates. But also, I don't think I would have been open to date Clayton had I not had that first where I, like, changed some perspectives. Because him being, like, three and a half years younger than me, at first I was like, no way. Like, I am not. He's in college. But y'all were like, give him a chance. And then I went on a date, and I ended up marrying him.

[Gracie]

You know, see, that's good, because the whole thing's, like, potential deal breakers. And some people do say age is a deal breaker, like, to be three and a half years younger. And I remember Sarah, literally, she goes in her words. Because when Laney started dating Clayton, he was three and a half years older. Sarah, what did you say? Remind me.

[Sarah]

I think I said, like, I just would never date anyone younger.

[Lani]

And yet you married the youngest one of all. They're five years apart, right?

[Sarah]

Four and a half.

[Gracie]

Four and a half.

[Sarah]

Don't ask him how old we are right now, but ask in October when he turns 20.

[Lane]

Let her do her math however she wants.

[Sarah]

But, you know, I just. This is the first time I thought of that. But you dating Clayton being younger is probably one of the, like, main reasons that my mind was even open to dating someone younger. Cause I was like, oh, not so weird. Yeah, you know, just, like, seeing.

[Lane]

That's cool.

[Sarah]

I haven't thought about that.

[Lani]

And for me, honestly, kind of normalize the younger men, we all. Yeah.

[Lane]

So, Grace, you know, if you're younger than me, you're graduating.

[Gracie]

What's your number this year?

[Lane]

Go ahead, say your number.

[Gracie]

Oh, my gosh. There is a line.

[Lane]

There's a line.

[Sarah]

There is a line.

[Gracie]

18.

[Lani]

Wait, what would it be? You're 26.

[Lane]

I'm on the brinks of 26. So let's say I'm 26. I think so.

[Lani]

21.

[Sarah]

21 and a half.

[Lani]

If you're 21, leave a comment. I'm just kidding.

[Lane]

People are gonna, like, hide their sons from me.

[Gracie]

You're not looking for a 21. But if he was 28. 1. It's not a deal breaker.

[Lane]

Yeah, exactly.

[Gracie]

That's the thing. Because you get in your mind, you're like, I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do that. Because for me, whenever I met Christian, I'm like, he's younger. He's in a fraternity. He's like. And like, you start to go, no, no, no. And I'm like. But those things don't define who he is.

[Lani]

And I ended up being grateful because for me, I felt like I had wasted years dating somebody. And I felt like God was like, I'm gonna redeem the years.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Lani]

By sending somebody who had not even just walked those last few years of life. And I got to like, restart is what I felt like.

[Gracie]

So sweet.

[Lani]

So that was really cool.

[Gracie]

And Clayton is an old soul.

[Lani]

He is such an old soul.

[Gracie]

Grandpa. Yeah.

[Lane]

Yeah.

[Gracie]

It's so sweet.

[Lani]

So.

[Gracie]

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[Lani]

Hey.

[Sarah]

Oh.

[Gracie]

Let's be real. That's a win for everybody. Plus, Miracle sheets are so much better for your skin. Traditional sheets collect all of that bacteria that clogs pores and causes breakouts. A Miracle made helps you sleep clean so that you can wake up feeling fresh. Plus, they're actually temperature regulating, thanks to silver infused fabrics inspired by by NASA. So no more waking up sweaty or shivering. These sheets keep you at the perfect temperature all night long for better deeper sleep. These sheets are luxuriously soft, like five star hotel soft without that crazy price tag. Trust me, once you try Miracle, you are not going to go back. So upgrade your sleep as the weather heats up. Go to trymiracle.com Whoa. To try miracle made sheets today. And whether you're buying them for yourself or for a loved one, if you order today, you can actually save over 40% off. And if you use our promo code Whoa. At checkout, you'll get a free free three piece towel set and save an extra 20%. Miracle is so confident in their product, it's backed with a 30 day money back guarantee. So if you aren't 100 satisfied, you'll get a full refund. Upgrade your sleep with Miracle made. Go to trymiracle.com Whoa. And use the code Whoa. To claim your free three piece towel set and save over 40% off again, that's trymiracle.com. whoa. To treat yourself. When I think about that whole idea of dating to marry, where I got it wrong, was that, like, yes, I went on a lot of different dates, but I would make it so serious so fast, because I was like, we have to. Like, I have to see if we're.

[Sarah]

Gonna miss I'm dating to marry.

[Lani]

Yeah.

[Gracie]

Yeah. So within two months, we'd already have said I loved you. We'd already, like, talked about getting married. And then it made the breakup so horrible because it was like, oh, you just said, I love you. We just said. But I was. And so I. I regret how I did that, but it was with the mindset of, like, oh, well, if I'm dating this person, then, like, if it's gonna get serious, then we have to get married. And that was like, a flaw in my thinking. And so whenever I started dating Christian, it slowed down so much. And by the time we were, like, two months into dating, we hadn't even, like, officially made it a thing that we were even dating. Like, we had just been talking, getting to know each other, like, hanging out.

[Lani]

So I was listening to Yalls conversation. Yeah, you were outside the window. And I was like.

[Gracie]

You're like, this is not.

[Sarah]

This is more than friendship.

[Gracie]

Yeah, this is more.

[Lani]

It was more than friendship, but it wasn't like it was different from anything.

[Gracie]

You had, anything I'd ever experienced. We were truly, like, getting to know one another and had, like, chemistry, but we weren't forcing anything. I wasn't forcing anything, and that was so good for me. But, Gracie, what does. What does it look like to casually date for you right now? Like, I love. I love what you said about even dating apps. Like, are you on dating apps? Do you think they're good? That's a hot take.

[Lane]

All right, I'm the single one, so I gotta fill y'all in. Okay, so dating apps, there have been times where I was not on them, and then there are times where I'm like, I. You know, I prayed about it. I feel good about it. I was on them. Right now I'm not. But that's just. Cause I'm kind of busy with work, and I'm like, I don't know if it's actually the right timing for me to be seeking that out. If it were to happen, happen, awesome. But. Okay, here's how I think about it. If I am, like, 10 years down the road and I'm still not married, that's Gonna be fine with me. Like, I've kind of decided, like, oh, I'd rather wait for the right person in my life and say I get married at. This is so extreme. Say I get married at 50. What if I live to be 100, I have 50 happy years. Everyone got scared there. But I would rather wait. Okay, I'm not gonna be 50. But if I was.

[Sarah]

I was talking.

[Lane]

I have made.

[Gracie]

You said 10 years. I was thinking you were like, 35. And then 50 was a. I jump. Right?

[Lane]

You might need to edit. Okay.

[Sarah]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lane]

I'm just saying I'd rather be happy and, like, marry the right person for me for X amount of years.

[Gracie]

Super important. Yeah.

[Lane]

And there's a lot of takes on everything. Okay. But if I get there, I don't want to get there and be frustrated that I didn't put myself out there and try. So that's why I try and why I do dating apps and why I'm like, like, okay, if it takes that long. And I was hiding and, like, I was scared to get hurt, so that's why I didn't date. That's gonna make me feel I'm not gonna have peace with that, knowing I didn't even try. Because I don't want to get married when I'm 50. I want to get married younger. So I'm like, okay, if I want to try, then I should do what people do to try.

[Lani]

Yeah.

[Lane]

Unless you just don't have peace. Because I talk to some people and they're like, I really like. It makes me so anxious. Like, I don't feel like that's what God has for me. I'm like, okay, awesome. And then other people, if you do, I say, go for it. Because I'm like, yeah, if you want a six pack, you go to the gym. Right. If you want to get married, maybe you should go where people date. Like, word. For me, it's just like that. Like, okay.

[Sarah]

And I do think for a dating app. We've talked about this before. At least people are on there saying, I'm trying to date. Where, like, Instagram, you can slide into someone's DMS and then leave them. Like, yep, it's a game. It's you're dating app to a lot of people. And not that you can't do that on a dating app, but I do feel like if you're on there, you're at least saying, I want to go on a date.

[Gracie]

That's what I'm trying to do. That's what I'm looking For.

[Sarah]

And then I also think, going back to. I mean, you don't have peace with it right now, but two months ago, you did. So your peace can change. You just follow, like, the Holy Spirit's leading on that topic and be like, hands open.

[Lane]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Which you do really well on that.

[Lane]

Topic, though, I will say this, because dating apps, you get all sorts of people. Okay. And you get people who ghost you and never, like, I. Not on dating apps. I think anybody who's dating has had people treat them in ways that are so hurtful. Like, I've had that, and I've had that from people somebody set me up with. So not even dating apps and being ghosted, I'm like, sorry, gosh, like, that hurts my feelings. But then I have to land on this. I'm like, the way that people treat you when they're dating you is not a reflection of what you're worth as a person. Or if you're, like, good or pretty or whatever, they're literally just telling you, this is my character. So if somebody ghosts you has nothing to do with you. What kind of a guy goes, somebody.

[Gracie]

So true.

[Lane]

It's him, not you.

[Gracie]

That's great.

[Lane]

And same for guys. I've had. I know guy friends who are left, like, have been ghosted or just kind of people because it is so casual sometimes thinking it's fine to just disappear or. Yeah, so I see both.

[Sarah]

Yeah. And it can be casual, and you can still honor the other person for being human. And, like.

[Gracie]

Yeah, that's what I was about to say. Like, casually dating is not to say that you're not intentionally dating. Like, it's. You're still being intentional with your. The respect you have for someone, the respect you have for yourself, the time that you're spending. But you're not going. I have to marry this person. You know, it's that line of, like, we're gonna, you know, take this slow, but we're gonna be intentional about it and actually get to know each other. And even if it's not the right person and you need to get out of the relationship, you can do it respectfully, you can do it kindly. You can do it in a way that honors that person. And it doesn't need to be, like, a confusing thing or a ghosting thing or even a dramatic thing. Like, like you said, you can say, that was a great time. I don. This is, like, the best fit. But, like, thank you for taking me out, you know?

[Lane]

Yeah.

[Gracie]

I just think that's sweet. Okay, so not everyone knows each of Our stories on how we met our husbands. But I think it'd be sweet to kind of reflect on some of that because we were all there for most of it. And so Sarah, tell a little bit about how you met Martin and how yalls dating started. All different things. When you knew he was the one. Give us the give. Because I love your story. It is so sweet.

[Sarah]

It's sweet. So I met Martin on the frisbee field, Ultimate Frisbee at church at a young adults. Like Friday night we went to service and then you played ultimate Frisbee till like midnight every Friday night. And so we met on the field and I shook his hand and I remember thinking one, his handshake is so strong. So when you shake his hand, you like remember it.

[Gracie]

I actually remember the first time I shook Martin's hand and it kind of hurt.

[Lane]

Yes, it kind of my knees actually.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I'm not kidding.

[Lane]

I made fun of him. He's like, haha. He thought I was kidding. I wasn't.

[Gracie]

No.

[Sarah]

We've talked like your handshake's really strong, which is a good thing. But it's. Yeah. So anyways, it's very memorable. I was like, oh my word.

[Gracie]

Ow.

[Sarah]

And then also I just had never in the first like five minutes of being around him, I'm like, you're a great guy. I don't think I'd ever had that impression right off the bat of like, you might be the best guy I know. And that came also over time of like being around him, being his friend. But yeah, the first time I met him, I was just like, whoa. And then me and Gracie were walking back up to our cars and she was like, you thought that Martin guy was cute. And I was like, she was in love. No I didn't. And she was like, yeah, it's all over your face. Which I literally can't hide my face to save my life. Like what I think is on my face. But.

[Lane]

And you were running really fast on that Frisbee field. I'm like putting in double time. I was like, I've never seen Sarah run like this.

[Sarah]

I think I got really good at frisbee starting.

[Lane]

You were trying to impress him.

[Gracie]

Not that you're not athletic, but you are the most competitive, non athletic person I've ever met.

[Lane]

Me too.

[Sarah]

I am not very good at things, but I will give 100% trying to be good and like thinking maybe I can get there. But I also have gotten a lot more athletic since marrying Martin.

[Gracie]

Wow.

[Sarah]

Just saying. He's put me she's really pick from.

[Gracie]

The time you were on the Frisbee.

[Sarah]

Frisbee field. It really upped my effort. Anyways, we were like friends for, I think, actually two weeks later. I was like, we need to have a party at our house. We all lived in Nashville, and by party I mean come play games. So we had a game night at our house. And I, like, made sure he knew he was invited, but not for me. I had a friend like, hey, you should. Are you coming to this? So we hung out that night. I found out how old he was.

[Lane]

And at the time, the people, the time, I mean, the age, I was.

[Sarah]

24 and he was 19. Not yet 20. And so I was like, oh, that's too young. Like, I can't do that. So literally just like we were friends for a while around each other at church. Actually, I think he was 20.

[Gracie]

I think he was almost 20, because I remember the 19.

[Lani]

I can still picture him standing in the kitchen because I knew who I was looking for.

[Sarah]

Look at this crazy bear. Yes. Okay, so he was 19. Anyways, we were like friends. Covid happened. He just turned 20, like right after that. So he was 20 during.

[Lane]

Yeah, he wasn't 19.

[Gracie]

Emphasis on that. He's almost 20.

[Sarah]

He's almost 20. So anyways, I was a roundup and just thought, this is the greatest guy. I knew everything he did just like, like, wow, he's awesome. And then we were friends, played ping pong. Things were shut down. We had one of our friends who still lived at home, and we would go over to his parents house and like, play ping pong and go out for tennis and stay up late talking, hanging out. And then I threw out to him. We were at my house having a bunch of people over, doing game nights, and I kind of like threw out the softball of we should. I would love to finish this conversation. We should hang out sometime. And then two days later, he text me. We hung out for the first time till, like, really early in the morning. And then we just never stopped hanging out, the two of us. Like, the first time we were alone together was like, wow. And then I think I knew. This is crazy, actually. Well, my first thought was that our second date, we stayed out. We did a lot of crazy things. We could have been arrested.

[Lane]

Okay, Sarah, you're making this sounds so bad. We stayed up till the morning and like, tell people that.

[Lani]

But it's so.

[Gracie]

I remember when y'all were dating, like, in this. I remember, like, it like, on paper would have looked bad, but y'all Were so sweet and innocent about it. There was so much purity in it. Y'all just, like, loved being around each other.

[Sarah]

We were just two best friends.

[Gracie]

What was it when y'all were at leapers and wasn't it in Leapers and. Yeah, talked like all night.

[Sarah]

All night long. Yeah. And we literally sat by a fire five feet apart talking for, like, hours. But I do remember it was that night. Night we, like, watch the sunrise. I don't know if this is about to say to a. Okay, we can edit your story.

[Lane]

Edit out the 50 part. That was extreme.

[Gracie]

No, that's funny. I liked it.

[Lani]

That's so funny.

[Sarah]

Anyways, I just remember feeling like whether I marry this guy or not, this is what it feels like to have peace, to feel like I'm not trying to impress him. I don't have to say the right thing or backtrack or explain myself. Like, this is. I had never felt that around a guy before. Like, my heart is at rest. I remember that. And then I think I knew I was going to marry him like, shortly after that, but I kept it to myself. And, you know, we had conversations where he was like, I'm terrified I'm going to hurt you. And I'm like, you know what? If you do, God will pick up my heart and put it back together like he's done before. You don't be scared of that. And so, yeah, I think I knew early on, but that's kind of our story.

[Gracie]

As a mom, I'm always looking for the best stuff for my girls. But if you ever look at the labels for kids vitamins, they're basically just candy. We're talking about two teaspoons of sugar, weird chemicals, and a bunch of gummy junk that grown kids just don't need. And that's why I was so excited whenever I found out about. Hiya. They created a super powered chewable vitamin that's actually good for your kids. No sugar, no junk, just all the nutrients they need to grow into strong and healthy kids. Haya is designed to fill in the gaps in kids diets, giving them full body nourishment. It was formulated with pediatricians and nutrition experts using real ingredients like a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies, then PA with 15 essential vitamins and minerals. Oh, and if getting your kids to eat their greens feels like a daily battle, Haya has Kids Daily Greens plus Superfoods, a chocolate flavored green powder made just for kids. It's packed with 55 plus whole food ingredients to support brain power development and Digestion. Just scoop it, shake, and sip on it for an easy delic nutrition boost. Haya is such a great part of our daily routine because my girls actually love taking vitamins and they love Haya's vitamins. They're like pink, green, yellow. And so honey's always like, I want a pink one, I want a yellow one. And every day she actually looks forward to it. And she's my picky eater. So she's picky and doing this. And y'all, this is good news for every mom out there. We've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamin. You can receive 50 off your first order. It's a huge deal. Don't miss it. To claim this deal, you're going to go to haya health.com SL Whoa. This deal is not available on their regular website, so make sure you go to hyahealth. H I Y A H E A L T H dot com. Whoa. Wha. And get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. I love that. I remember that. And it was like, it was like fairy tale in the sweetest way. It was just so sweet and innocent. And I want to address this because multiple times times, I think all of y'all have said something along the lines of, go where your pieces. Having peace, not having peace. And to some of our listeners, this might be like the first time you've ever heard that kind of language. Like, what does that mean? And I remember in a relationship I was in years ago, way before Christian, and I was debating whether I need to break up or get out of this relationship. And I remember a mentor I called a mentor, explained to her the situation, definitely hid some details of the situation. And she said to me, do you have peace? And I remember saying to her, I don't even know if I know what that means. Like, I don't even know if I know what peace feels like. And then she's like, well, then you don't. You know that that's your sign. Yeah. And I remember thinking, man, like, nothing about this relationship represents peace. Like, there's so much confusion. There's so much hurt, there's so much heartbreak. There's so many tears. There's so much. And not like it did not reflect peace at all. And so to hear your story, it's so beautiful to say, like, this is the first time my heart was at rest in a relationship. I wasn't overthinking what I was saying. I wasn't questioning what he was thinking. And I remember thinking that with Christian, like, there's never one day in our entire relationship I ever questioned where I stood with him. I ever wondered if he was going to reach out to me that day. I ever wondered if he cared for my heart or was, like, thinking about me. I always knew that it was just like my soul was at rest. There was never like, are we. It wasn't. It just wasn't confusing. It wasn't confusing. It was just like, there was such an ease to it. And so that's what it looks like to have peace. And I do think that, like, when you. Even when things get hard because you're in a relationship, you're going to have arguments. You still have a peace. You still have, like, a. This is where I'm supposed to be. This is who I'm supposed to be with. And that's from the Lord, like, says in the word, like, perfect love, cast out all fear, you know? And that's obviously the love of God. But you sense that even in relationship when you're with people, and that can go into not just who you're dating, but how you do everyday life. Like Gracie said, should I be on this dating app? Should I not? Am I confused by it? Am I overthinking it? Am I stressed by it? Am I striving in it?

[Sarah]

No.

[Gracie]

Peace. Delete the app that could be on. Do I need social media right now? I mean, that question, do I have peace? Can be a guideline for, like, your whole life. And it's really just like, is the Holy Spirit in this? You know? And so I love that. I just wanted to bring that up because Christian actually has brought that up about our friendship. He's like, I've never heard more. I've never heard it said more times, do you have peace than hanging out with y'all? Like, I remember we were dating because not everybody talks like that, you know? So I just wanted to address that, and I think that's so beautiful. Sarah, just touch on a little bit. What was different, if you feel comfortable talking about this about Martin, than past relationships. You had been in everything, truly.

[Sarah]

I think his, like, he was so set on, like, we're just being friends, like, almost to a point. Lainey would call me, like, are you a girlfriend yet? Are you a girlfriend yet? Like, no, I'm not a girlfriend. But it was him being so, like, intentional, and he wanted to get to know me and not in a romantic context. We didn't kiss for months, like, which is very new. To me, because all I knew was, I like a guy. I kiss a guy. And, yeah, it was just different. He was so respectful. He. Gosh, I don't know. Everything was different. I'd never.

[Gracie]

Well, I think that's. I wanted to ask you that because, you know when you were like, when we say that to the morning, and you're like, is that okay to say? And I'm like, in your past relationships, it wasn't okay to say in that relationship. It was because it was done the right way. And I think that that's so beautiful because some people might be listening, be like, oh, she's perfect. It's like, no, you have a past. But, like, this was a redemption. Like, this was something new. And some people ask, like, can you find redemption? Like, if you've had past relationships that are broken, all of us can say yes. Like, yes. And you can do it differently. Like, it does not. It shouldn't look the same. Your redemption story is going to look like redemption. It's going to look different. It's going to look like, oh, we stayed up to the morning, and it wasn't bad. It was beautiful and pure. And there. We didn't even kiss for months. Like, it's just so cool to see. See how God did so much in your heart before you met Martin. And then when you met Martin, it was like a fairy tale. Like, it was just such a beautiful story. And it's so cool. Now you'll have Ryman.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Gracie]

And that's if you saw at the opening of this podcast, watch on YouTube so you can see the cuteness. He's ridiculously cute. He is ridiculously cute. He really is. He was cute from day one, too. And that's not always the case.

[Sarah]

Listen, we prepared ourselves for the worst. Just like, babies come out.

[Gracie]

His head was perfect.

[Sarah]

It's been round. Yeah, probably that little head.

[Gracie]

He's a cutie boy. All right, Lane, we were literally all there the night you met Clayton. And. And can you just also, for the sake of the story, give us some of just the attitude going into the night that you met Clayton. Attitude? Wait, what?

[Lane]

They need the full scoop.

[Sarah]

You did not want to go.

[Gracie]

You did not want to go.

[Sarah]

You were in a place like, I'm.

[Gracie]

Not going for contest.

[Lani]

I was not. Something was going on. I don't remember.

[Gracie]

I'll tell you what was going on.

[Lani]

Okay, tell me. Tell me what was going on.

[Gracie]

Excuse me. So, because you were dating again.

[Lane]

I wasn't.

[Gracie]

That is what happened. Yeah. So, Laney, think about it. Laney's dad, this is very sweet. Always said to us, like, y'all need to pray you meet your husbands at the same time. So therefore, we were praying that, and we wanted to meet our husbands at the same time. And so I met Christian in July. Y'all were also all there the night I met Christian, and we all met Christian, and then we started talking, like, right after that. But I was telling you, y'all, and I was telling myself, we're just friends. Like, we're literally just friends. But right after, Christian was like, hey, I want to take you on a date. I was like, now's really not a good time, because I had just told all y'all that I was not going today.

[Lani]

December, six months.

[Gracie]

Yes.

[Sarah]

And got it on film.

[Lane]

And have it on film.

[Gracie]

We'll post the video. It's pretty funny. I say the date and everything. July 2, 2018. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. And anyways, I boldly say I'm not gonna date anybody for a while, and I'd say until December. And I said, and I'm sticking to it so much so that you can pick out my outfit when I go on my first date.

[Lani]

And I didn't want to pick out the outfit, did I?

[Gracie]

Well, no, because things happen faster. So I met Christian the next day. He asked me on a date. I said, I'm gonna need to wait a little bit. So I said, how about September? And he's like, that's two months away. I was like, exactly. I need some time. So from that point on, we just got to know each other. Well, we still had that date in September to come, and I really wanted all y'all to know him. Like, get to know him, because that was something I'd never really done is, like, date in, like, the group setting kind of thing, you know, when people, like, go on, like, group. So I was like, why don't we all go to the Luke Bryan concert? Because Luke was coming in to play, and my mom was coming in for it. Bella was coming, everyone. So I was like, this is perfect. Everyone can hang out around me and Christian, and, like, we can see if this is a good thing. Well, while we were there, Lani was not so happy because, one, I was dating outside of the timeline I said a couple months earlier. And you were, as a friend, holding me to what I said. And you were also like, we're supposed to meet her husband at the same time. Here you are again. And you hadn't started dating anyone yet, so you were frustrated, so you didn't want to go that night, I think.

[Lani]

I was caught in between, like, what's a good friend move right now? Now that's giving myself the benefit of the doubt.

[Gracie]

But, like, I was just trying to be the best friend.

[Lani]

And that is true. That is actually, yeah, deep, deep down, that is what was true. And I was like, do I tell her, no, you can't do this? Because you said no legit. I was like, do I tell her she can't do this?

[Gracie]

You're a loyalist through and through.

[Lane]

Yes, that's true.

[Lani]

Or do I support this, this and in my mind, let her get her heart broken or something? Like, truly, I was like, this is gonna hurt. And I've seen you hurt. So am I gonna watch you hurt again? And so that's really what was.

[Gracie]

You actually were being a good friend, genuinely.

[Lani]

But then from there, once I saw things progressing and saw that things were really good, I should have like, changed sooner, but it was hard for me to like, you know, revert and like, get on that path and be supportive.

[Gracie]

But once I had a ring on my finger. You changed it.

[Lani]

I did.

[Gracie]

I did.

[Lani]

And I think we've told the story before, but I did. I sat down with Christian and like, I. From my whole heart, I was like, I am so sorry because you do not deserve to be treated like this. And we had like a moment and.

[Gracie]

He'D be like, lainey's like the best, and he'd be my best friend ever. And every time you're around him, you're like, yeah, with me, it's like the claws out, you know, it's like you're protecting. You were being a good friend because you had it's love. Y. I needed a good friend. I needed someone to tell me, like, the truth. And so that was an interesting time of nap. And I think some of those hard questions, though, helped me to realize that Christian really was the one for me. Because honestly, there were so many hard questions from you and family members and what I was doing that, like, it made me do things so differently with Christian. It made me be like, what am I? Why am I choosing to like, date again? Because it's like, oh, he really is so different. This is like, this is so different Again, this is my redemption story. This doesn't look like you any other of my relationships. And it took a little bit for everyone to see that because, well, I.

[Lani]

Feel like I could see it. It just was like I was new. It was just new. And I, like, wasn't sure. It was obvious that it was different. Like I can still remember that for sure. It was obvious. But I was, I didn't know what to do with that. Yeah, you know, I hadn't seen that either, so.

[Gracie]

And it was like new for all of us. It was new for me, it was new for y'all to see me in that scenario. So up to the first date, this is like me and Christian' first time to really hang out. We had a date the day before cuz he had come in town from Auburn to Nashville. He was staying with his brother Chance, which was such a funny thing. And then we all decided to go to Luke Bryan concert. So Laney comes, not really wanting to be there. And I think I sat with y'all.

[Lani]

At a table and was just like so sad.

[Gracie]

Yeah.

[Lani]

But then it all turned around.

[Gracie]

Okay, friends, I gotta tell you something that Christian and I cannot get enough of. You know that constant struggle of finding something to watch that's actually entertaining but also honors your faith. Yeah, same. Don't we all? Well, that is why we are obsessed with the Chosen. It is the first ever multi season show about the life of Jesus and it tells his story through the eyes of his family and followers. And let me tell you, it is so powerful. One minute you're going to be laughing, then the next minute you're going to be crying, and the next you're sitting there in total awe. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. Christian and I are so ready for season five. And guess what? All eight episodes are being released as the Chosen Last Supper. And a three part event on the big screen. Legit. The best way to experience it. This season covers everything from Holy Week from Jesus being welcomed into Jerusalem as a king to his followers thinking about a rebellion against Rome, tables getting turned, literally, loyalties being tested and the religious leaders plotting against him. It's going to be so intense, emotional and you are not going to want to miss it. I actually went to the last Chosen premiere in the theaters with Christian and it was so incredible to just get a picture of who Jesus was on the big screen, like play it out like that. It was amazing. It was like Peter walking on water. Which one of my favorite stories. So I can't wait to see what they have next. So text your favorite person, grab your favorite box of movie theater candy and go see the Chosen Last Supper in theaters. You can get tickets now at the Chosen Last supper dot com. Again, that's the chosen Last supper dot com. I remember you coming up to me and going, yeah, I'm going to go Scout out my options, which is not like me.

[Lani]

Can we just say that's kind of funny? But, yeah. I walked out in the middle of the little outdoor area, and I started circling. In hindsight, it is cool, because at that time, I was praying that I would see my husband first. And he walked by, and I just was like, ooh, he's cute. And your mom heard me say, ooh, he's cute. And then she made it her mission to find out who he is. And then I found out his name was Clayton Pickens. And then I was like, I don't.

[Lane]

Know if I can marry a Pickens day.

[Lani]

One day.

[Gracie]

It was like, pickens, Laney Pickens.

[Lani]

I don't know. But now I love it. I think it's so cute.

[Gracie]

It's so funny because when mom saw y'all that night, you know, she still claims she tells I. I was with her last week when she told someone she actually match made. Someone who got married. They have two children now, so really good matchmaker. She claims that, but I remember that night you saying he was cute and all that kind of stuff. And then y'all going up and maybe just talking, Talking for, like, we didn't know.

[Lani]

We didn't even talk. We only said. We said hi when you and I walked up to him. And then after that, y'all, that was like, in my season of, like, I'm gonna go on dates and I'm gonna, like, actually just really just like, instead of ignoring, I'm gonna answer, you know? And I remember y'all were like, you should follow him on Instagram. And so I followed him. I found out he was in college. And then I was like, I don't know if I can do that, but y'all talked me into it. And then I ended up following him. And then I was putting out, like, some Christian music, you know, and then he posted one of my songs. And I remember thinking if he posted my song, like, he has to have some kind of Jesus bone in his body. And so I just, like, liked his message.

[Gracie]

And then he said, working for Luke Bryan. So you didn't know if, like, he was necessary? He wasn't in the Christian world or like.

[Lani]

No.

[Gracie]

You didn't know anything about it?

[Lani]

No. I thought he worked security.

[Lane]

We all thought he was a security guard.

[Sarah]

He used to, like, walk with his arms.

[Gracie]

Do you remember that?

[Lani]

You, like, walk with his arms out? He doesn't really do that anymore, but yeah. So then he sent me a DM and said, I can do much better than a hello At a concert. Oh, Asked me to go to Frothy Monkey. We went to Frothy Monkey. And I remember leaving and just, you know, calling my mom, like, we do. And she was like, well, how was it? And I remember just saying it just was. And by that, I was basically saying what you said about Martin was just. There was always this sense of, like, home and peace.

[Gracie]

Security.

[Lani]

Security, yes. Like, it was like. It just was meant, like, it was really good. It wasn't weird. He didn't ask me any weird questions. He didn't ask me how long I had had my bangs, you know, like, he just, like. I just felt like, oh, like, I can relax. He took care of me. He paid for our order. I felt like he was, like, watching out for me already. Like, there was just a level of. I could tell he wanted to care for somebody. And at the time, I don't even think he would tell you that he was at that place, but, like, God did that. And he, like, I walked out to my car, got in, and then I remember he DMed me and he sent me his number. And it was basically just. Just like, if you ever want to again, not like, can I have your number? He kind of just like left it in my court of, if you want to call me, I'd love it. And then, like you said, like, I just never questioned his heart. I never questioned his intention. I had one moment, and I don't even think I've actually ever told him.

[Lane]

This, so this would be kind of funny.

[Gracie]

I was gonna bring up this moment, actually. Honestly, I don't know if I. Yes.

[Lani]

I don't know. Were you there or was it just me and Bella?

[Gracie]

No, it was me and Bella. And I remember it, like, so clearly. And I was gonna say, can we talk about the honest coffee moment?

[Lani]

Was it like a month in?

[Gracie]

It was about a month in. You had. Cuz I remember us saying to you, or your mom said to you, you're going on a date. You're not walking down the aisle. Like, keep going on dates. You don't need to know yet, you know?

[Lani]

Yes. But I think at that time, we were all having so much fun that I was. Was like, is he, like, fun enough? Because he was so serious and he was so on top of things. And, like, I loved that about him, but at the same time, I was like, can he, like, be goofy? You know? And so Bella sat there with me and made a pros and cons.

[Gracie]

I remember this. Yes.

[Sarah]

I don't think I knew that.

[Lani]

And my pros Were just like, so long, so long. And my cons were like, is he funny enough?

[Gracie]

Yeah, is he funny?

[Lani]

You know, And I think that was like, honestly, a very pivotal moment where I was like, he. He's. I was pretty sure he was it. And then we went to, like, this hey, hey, ride or something. I knew you were going to remember this. I don't think you were there, but I came home from a date and I, like, went into their bedroom, because at the time we shared a bedroom, and they shared a bedroom, and I went in their bedroom, and I remember, like, crying happy tears because I was like. I just knew, like, I felt like the like or like the saying, like, when, you know, you know, like, haunted me my whole life until I met my husband and met him. And it was just like, that's so true. I get it. Like, when you know, you know, and there is just this peace. And what I was thinking, too, we were talking about, like, where's your peace? Where's your peace? I read when we were on Winter Jam, I would read Proverbs a lot, and I think it's Proverbs 3. 17 that talks about her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. And it's talking about wisdom. And, like, I think that verse of, like, just like you're saying in life, like, there was just so much peace. Like, I never even. In my going, is he funny enough, I never didn't have peace. And I had come from a relationship where, like, I tried so hard to make peace and force peace.

[Gracie]

Yeah.

[Lani]

And with him, it was just like home peace. Like, he never took me away from my relationship with God, but actually just affirmed so many things that I knew about God and knew about his love for me. And. And yeah, I just.

[Gracie]

So good. I love. It's interesting you were reading Proverbs at that time, because Christian and I both read through Proverbs together is when in that time of kind of getting to know each other, because we were like, I don't want to start talking about our relationship. Let's, like, read something together. So we started reading Proverbs, and, you know, it says in Proverbs at the very beginning. It's like the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, you know? And so I think as you're navigating what, like, what a relationship looks like, gaining wisdom, clarity, like, Proverbs is a great place to, like, be in and be reading and be praying through as you're walking through some of these things, because it just puts your mind in that right place, that right thinking, because you got to be intentional about what you're thinking about. You should do the pros and cons. You should look at it. What's a deal breaker? What's a preference? I think when you go. When I remember looking at that day and being like, okay, you have so many things about this man that is, like, genuinely incredible. And then, is he fun enough now? Fair, cuz. You want to have fun in a relationship. This is supposed to be your best friend. You're going to go through life with this person. So you do want to have fun. But it's like, can y'all get there? And you saw, yes, like, we do have fun together. You know, y'all have yalls own humor. And I remember thinking the same thing with Christian, because, remember, he used to not think sitting lady was funny. I was like, yeah, well, that was.

[Lani]

Another thing I asked him.

[Gracie]

That might be a deal.

[Lani]

I remember asking him, like, who do you think the funniest person is? Like, that he knew and it took him.

[Lane]

He didn't even say me. I was like, what?

[Gracie]

I know. I was like, oh, you don't get it. Yeah, you know, you're blinded. But then Christian got it, and we still have different humors. Completely different humors. He loves, like, sarcasm over my head. I love being weird. He's like, what's wrong with you? But then when we're at our house and it's just us, like, he's so funny and so crazy. And people ask me, like, since y'all got married, you know, people ask, like, does anything surprise you by each other that you didn't know? I'm like, I did not know how funny he was.

[Lani]

I will say that.

[Gracie]

Did not know, you know? And so those kind of things can grow and it can come, you know, like, as long as I think if they are down to have fun. Cause I remember, like, we would drive from Nashville to Auburn, and I would dance the whole time, like, as if he wasn't in the car, which is so funny. Now, looking back, I just had. That was just me. I was confident, and so, like, we had fun. He didn't have to be the one being crazy. That was more me. But now it's kind of opposite. I found this chill bone in my body now, having kids and, like, being busy, and he's the one dancing and making me laugh. And so I think, like, it's sweet because some of those things you, you know, you can't rule out just because you don't see it all in Dating, you're not going to see it all when you're dating. You're going to learn so much about them when you get married. But you do need to be intentional about it and make sure you see those qualities. You know, it's so funny, Christian said the other day, because you and Clayton are kind of old souls. Like, y'all are both kind of old souls. Like sweet wouldn't hurt a fly.

[Lane]

Wait, what made him say this?

[Gracie]

I gotta know. You know, it's so funny out of all of our friends for Eleni and Clayton to be the ones that met at a bar. For real.

[Lani]

Clayton loves telling us like we met at a bar.

[Gracie]

You would never think that's your story, so. But that's God to the point of like dating up a bar. You never know. Like you have to keep your heart open. The beach. Like who? Like that's just crazy. You just never know. You never know when your time is going to be Ultimate Frisbee. Like it's just so sweet. I don't know about you, but I love new adventures. Whether it's traveling, trying out a new hobby, learning a new skill, or diving into a new audiobook, I'm always looking for something that will take me in a new direction. And that is why I love Audible. Audible has thrills, chills and epic journeys right at your fingertips. So whether you love electrifying suspense or romance in far off realms, there's something waiting just for you. At Audible, you'll find gripping stories that keep you guessing and Audible originals that deliver exclusive, can't miss experiences. And Audible always has you covered with the latest new releases and bestsellers. Maybe it's the heart pounding suspense like Laura Dave's the Last Thing He Told Me or a thriller like Ted Decker's Outlaw. The excitement never stops. With over a million audiobook podcasts and originals in one easy app and a title you get to keep each month, Audible is the ultimate companion. My brother John, Luke and Bella are always trying to get me to listen to like thrillers and all this stuff, which is not my typical cup of tea, but I'm excited about diving into these. But my typical things like I listened to on Audible were raising passionate Jesus follower kids. I love to listen to good advice. As you know, it's what my podcast is all about, so I do the same for myself. I love stuff like that and they have so many great options on Audible. So start listening and discover what's beyond the edge of your seat. New members can try Audible now for free for 30 days and dive into a world of new thrills. Visit audible.com whoo. Or text the word whoa to 500. 500. That's audible.com whoa. Or text the word whoa. Wha. To 500. 500. I want to get to some of these questions. These are very specific questions that people have sin in. We'll just touch on a few. This is deep, but let's talk about it on the note of purity. Once you've crossed a line with someone, is it possible to redeem the relationship and go into marriage pure? Anyone want to tackle that one? If not, I can.

[Lani]

Yes.

[Sarah]

I'm like, not me, probably.

[Lani]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Gracie]

I agree.

[Lani]

I think it, like, it reminds. Reminds me of kind of a conversation I had with my mom. I think we've talked about this before, but when I was talking about one of my friends and something they had walked through and, like, I couldn't get over. I was in a season where I was. I was young and I. I couldn't get over what my friend had done. And my mom looked at me and she was like, lane, like, it's the same blood. It either washes you or it doesn't. And I think you have to realize, like, his nurse mercies are new every morning. Like, his blood washes continually. You are righteous because of his blood. It is final. You're not righteous on anything you've ever done on your own. It is the righteousness of Christ. He who knew no sin became sin for us so that we could become the righteousness of Christ. I didn't understand that as a kid. I didn't understand that in high school even. But that has changed. Like, my life completely realizing, like, whether it's dating that. You're talking about impurity, um, it's. It's his righteousness. It's not your own. So the answer is absolutely yes, because it's built on his purity and not your purity.

[Gracie]

That's always there for you, 100%. I remember even that in Krishna and I's, you know, dating once, we had really fallen in love and all the things, like, all of a sudden, his past being something that intimidated me. And then you telling me that, like, it's the same blood, and me realizing. Realizing, like, I can't hold his past against him or even bring that into our relationship. Like, that's washed clean by the blood. He's been forgiven. He has repented and turned. Like, God has done that. The cross handled that. So, like, who am I to live in that with him? And then also I have a past. So like, why am I. You know, like, why am I comparing it? And so then, like, needing to then ask for forgiveness in my own heart and in my own. And literally apologizing Christianly, I'm sorry that I. That I took that personal and that I did not see you washed in the blood like you. Like you are. And it was just a really beautiful. One of my favorite conversations and Knights Krishna ever had was that moment of me really apologizing and understanding what that was. And then in our own relationship later on when you get engaged, for us having to be like, whoa, too far, you know, like, and separately repent, separately ask the Lord to forgive us, wash us, make us pure. Like, we want to do this thing right. We're not trying to cross the line, but we messed up sometimes. And so I think that 100% you can go impure. And, like, I remember on our wedding night just being like, thank God for the blood that we get to be pure tonight, that we're walking into this, and it's so beautiful only because of the grace of God.

[Lani]

I think that's, like, the secret superpower, too, for setting somebody free. Like, when you can share it and you know so deeply that they. That you're righteous because of the blood of Jesus, and they're righteous because of the blood of Jesus. Jesus, then you can truly, like, forgive and it. Or just know that they're forgiven. Like, then they're free. Whereas, like, if Clayton even shared with me stuff he had walked through and I, like, held it, that causes so much shame, and it just keeps it there, but it's, like, bringing it into the light and just, like, smiling, like, realizing that they're forgiven and washed just like you are. Then it sets them up. Up to, like, walk pure and live pure and have a pure relationship.

[Gracie]

Yep. It's great, Lane. That's so good. We actually got a lot of questions of how to get over past mistakes that you made and other people made. Like, what if he has been divorced? What if she has been divorced? What if they struggle with addiction? What if they have a promiscuous past? What if they have a sexual past? I think that covered all of the past questions and purity questions. Okay, this is an interesting one difference in religion. So a specific question was, I'm Catholic. They are Baptist. I don't want my. To bring my kids up in two different churches. We can't find a compromise. So obviously, everything we say here is not the final answer. I think what we've said so many times is, where's your peace Lean into the Lord, Ask God. The fear of the Lord is beginning wisdom, but we can speak to experience and maybe what we think is good advice. Gracie, do you want to speak to that a little bit?

[Lane]

Yeah, I can. So as they kind of said, I have gone on lots of dates with a bunch of great guys, but this whole thing is like deal breakers for when you're going to marry somebody, right? And so, yes, go with your peace and really pray about it and seek wisdom and counsel. But for me, I actually did date somebody who had a different denomination than me, so same beliefs. I'm like, yes, I believe I'll see you in heaven. I know we believe the same thing, but our. Our practices are very different. And so for me, I actually was really hard because I liked him a lot and I wanted to make it work, but I told him right off the bat, I didn't know we had this difference. I need to pray about it and figure out if this is something I can see for myself. And also, we had to define the lines. I was like, does this mean I have to become like your. Your denomination? Or can we be separate and try and make it work? So we had those conversations of, can we compromise? And then, yeah, I just prayed about it and kind of what that person said. I don't. I don't want my kids to be confused when I say one thing and the dad says something else, because faith is confusing enough. And following Jesus is like, it's not complicated, but it's the most important thing about your life. And so if you're seeing two different things and they don't line up, I just. I don't think. Yeah, for me, it was not the best, and so that's why we broke up.

[Gracie]

Yeah, I. I agree. And I think this is something that. That can be a deal breaker. Like, I do think that is something worthy of a deal breaker. If you cannot come to a unity on what you believe, you know, and what you're gonna raise your family in, because that is a really hard battle. I think the last thing you need to do is ignore it and just get married and think you're gonna figure it out. Because I've heard and seen a lot of people do marriage. It's very, very difficult, and especially when you have kids, because then you come to all this. So it's conversations definitely worth having. It's hard conversations, but definitely worth having for sure, because that. That can definitely be a hard road to walk, kind of in a. In a different vein, but similar. A lot of people said, guys, Say that they know Jesus or love Jesus but don't make him a priority in their life. Is that a deal breaker in the sense of. A lot of people are like, my boyfriend says he's a Christian, but I don't really see him acting like that. Should I go with what they say or should I care more about the way that they are living? Obviously, I think we could all speak to this. Sarah, you want to speak a little bit to that?

[Sarah]

Yeah. The first thing that comes into my mind is you'll know them by their fruits. So is their life, is their life fruitful? And fruitful being the fruits of the spirit. And so I think I dated a couple of guys who said they were Christians and then I got a front seat view and realized, oh, I think we think being a Christian is different because being a Christian isn't. I grew up in church and I know the right and wrong things and it's like the personal relationship with Jesus that it's the walking with him and being led by him. And so if I don't, if you don't see that person being led by Jesus and the fruits of him in their hearts, then I, I do think that's different. And kind of what you said, like getting married, these things don't get better or easier just because you get married. Sure, you can fall in love with someone, but like fruit speaks and so.

[Gracie]

And you don't want, you're not marrying someone who says a Christian, just to check that box. Like you're marrying someone because they're Christian, because they surrender their life to the Lord and, and the fruit of that, the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control, faith. Like you want those attributes in someone you're choosing to trust your life with, you're going to have your children with. Now are they going to be perfect? No, but that, at least that they admit that they're not perfect and they fall in the arms of the Lord. Lord, like you're not just the benefit of marrying someone who is a Christian is not because they say they're a Christian. It's because of what it looks like when you have the fear of the Lord.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Gracie]

And so it's bigger than just, oh, he's a Christian, great, we can, we can get married. No, it's like, what does that look like? How does he love you? How does he love the Lord? How is he going to lead your family? And I think, Gracie, you joked about saying that was so extreme about being 50, but actually that's true. If you don't find the person that you feel is the best for you to marry again, not perfect, but God's best for you, then you don't get married. You know, like, then you wait. And I think a lot of people go, oh, well, if I get to this age, then I'll settle. No, never settle, because it's too big of a deal, you know? And it's like, when you get into marriage, you're going to realize that it's. It's not always just, like, good feelings. And, like, some of it's, like, just really hard. But, like, thank God you chose someone that it was worth it to go through life with. You know, you go through hard stuff, you don't expect things pop up. I mean, think about going through what we went through with Honey when she was young, like, with her health, like, shook me and Christian, shook our faith, shook everything. And I'm, like, so thankful I married someone who knows the Lord fears the Lord loves the Lord. Because those are the things you don't think about before you get married. But you should think about, you know, like, who's gonna walk through life with you? Honestly, we could go on and on. There's so many. So many good questions. This is just funny. Someone said, what if they wear Crocs? And I. I guess I'll end on this note. That's not a deal breaker, but that you should help them in their life. What's wrong with Crocs, ladies? Like, I wear Crocs.

[Lani]

I do wear Crocs. Do you really have some camo crocs?

[Lane]

I definitely have Crocs. Crocs.

[Lani]

I have camo Crocs.

[Gracie]

I've probably. I tried. When Crocs were back, I was like, I'm gonna try. And I was like, this is not me. This is me trying to fit in with the world. So go. Go with where your pieces on the Crocs. I could literally sit here and talk all day. I'm going to get to do that with them because they're staying at my house. I'm so excited, but I'm so grateful for y'all that y'all have so much wisdom. I can't believe I get to have friends like you, y'all. Like, I would not be who I am. I would not be where I'm at in my marriage, as a mom, as a friend, without the influence of y'all in my life. So I'm so grateful for that, and I'm so grateful that now so many people got to be influenced by all of your wisdom, and it's just a beautiful gift. So thank you, friends. That was so good.

[Lani]

We would say the same.

[Gracie]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Same.

[Lani]

Yeah. Would not be who I am without you.

[Sarah]

We still updated Sa.