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Sadie Robertson
What's up, everybody? Happy Monday. I hope you're having a good start to your week. But, friends, who is about to get so much better because I have one of my favorite guests that comes on this podcast. She is in real life, a counselor to Christian and I. And not just like, yeah, she would be like a counselor even if she was just a friend, but she's actually our counselor. And so sometimes when she comes on, I feel very vulnerable in this moment. But this is for all of you. I know she's going to bless you with just the words that she says and the way that she lives her life. Truly, she studied so much. She has all this credibility and all the things, but who she is is going to bless you. So we have Ms. Tara Tucker back on the podcast. Welcome back, my friend.
Tara Tucker
Thank you. And I love you.
Sadie Robertson
Aww.
Tara Tucker
And who you are. And. And as you just shared, I didn't, but you did. I know who you are and I love who you are.
Sadie Robertson
So sweet. You've always made me feel that way. And for those list listening to just to make a connection. Her daughters are my best friends, Sarah and Gracie, who were just on the podcast a couple weeks ago. We were talking about relationships, which was really fun. Did you get a chance to listen?
Tara Tucker
A little bit. It was great.
Sadie Robertson
It was fun. Gracie was cracking me up.
Tara Tucker
She said, I'm like, gracie is just fun. She's just funny and honest.
Sadie Robertson
She is. She said, you know, I would rather be single until I'm, you know, 50, and if it means waiting that long to find the man. And she Goes, hold on, back up. Can we, can I change the age to like 40 or something? I was like, no, you said it. Stick with it.
Tara Tucker
And she means it.
Sadie Robertson
She means it.
Tara Tucker
And with her personality, it's hard for her. Like, it really is. But her heart is so good. And she's gonna be like, hush, mom, we're not selling me. But, but her heart is so good. It's just, it's difficult for her.
Sadie Robertson
No, it's true. And you and Gracie have started doing little Instagram videos, which I love so, so much. It's kind of like my mom's a counselor type.
Tara Tucker
Gracie's help.
Sadie Robertson
Gracie asks you all the questions. It's so good. Also, you have written this incredible study, which are so funny. When I had this in here, you're like, you didn't have to do that. And I said, well, yeah, we're going to talk about it. You're like, we don't have to talk about it. I'm like, yeah, we're going to talk about it. It's incredible. It is generational blessings and it. If you are in a tough spot in your life, you need a counselor, you need to go to counseling. But maybe you never. This is a great place to start. I'm so excited to chat with you all about this. Mr. I'm just so thankful that you put all your years into wisdom into a book, put it on paper and video form. It's such a blessing. But I do want to ask you what, because I said you have all these years of experience. How long have you been a counselor? And what, what, what is your journey with schooling and all that looked like, okay.
Tara Tucker
I graduated from being a marriage and family therapist in 2008, and so I did that for years. I worked with the church, so I was kind of the not on staff, but was the church counselor. I did that for about eight years, and I just did it more as ministry. And I would start praying before each session for the Holy Spirit to be the counselor. And then I would try to not do that for a little bit, honestly, because I thought, okay, you want insurance and so you want people to be able to give you their insurance. Let's stay within the gut. Once I wasn't working with a church and I couldn't counsel without praying that. And so then one of my best friends, she taught for Lipscomb University in the Bible department, and she invited me to go in with her to the prison to teach classes. And just she wanted me as her counselor friend there with her. And so that's how I First started going in with Lipscomb as a teacher assistant, and they ended up offering a master's, basically, in pastoral care. It was a master's in Christian arts with an emphasis in pastoral care. And so I was able to get that master's beside inmate students inside prison walls. I went every Wednesday night for four years for that. And I'd volunteered for four years before. I would say that just changed me. And I got to see real transformation in those that were transformed in ways that only God could have done that. And so, little by little, staying in the ministry lane, I ended up combining the marriage and family therapy, the master's in that with the master's in pastoral care. And so now I just kind of myself a pastoral care, marriage and family therapist. I've gone to school, I've had the supervision hours. I pray before each session. So in Tennessee, I'm not licensed because I'm not going to try to pretend I am when I'm not. I do it more as ministry. I don't really do it for monetary reasons, although I'm for that. I really am for people. I think that is wise. And get your license and do it the way God's called you to do it. God can absolutely work in those ways, But God just kind of had me take a different path. And then back in 2010, the church that I attended, that I counseled at said, you know, let's teach a study. What if you had a study? And I had a long waiting list. And so I was like, what if I just show people I keep doing the same things over and over and over again? I could teach them how to do this at the most basic level. And so to make the long story short, here we are many years later, after teaching it in prison and church groups and different things. And that study's just my best tricks. They're real theories, real therapist theories that I could filter through scripture with guardrails around them that can help people have a little extra hope and healing. And I had it like, I'm pretty simple, and I'm not ashamed of that. Like, I have a dear friend who's like a doctorate in something and knows Hebrew and Greek and all this stuff. And she's like, your gift is you bring it down to the fourth grade level. And that used to offend me. I was like, well, yeah, I know. And like, I'm from the country. Country and stuff. And she's like, no, it's in the best way. Everybody can understand it. And then I had another friend. She said, everyone can Eat at this. Everyone can understand what. And it can meet them where they are, and everyone can eat. And I went, okay, I'll just be me and keep it simple and let the Holy Spirit meet. Because that's one of the tricks of the whole study and the way that I try to counsel. I want the Holy Spirit to be the counselor. I don't want to take God's place. And then I see my role is I get to join God where God's already at work in people's lives. So I'm just joining where he already is and applying things that have been proven to work well, honestly, to draw people back to God.
Sadie Robertson
Y.
Tara Tucker
Like that. That's the goal.
Sadie Robertson
It's so cool, like, being someone who has been counseled by you for years. I mean, I think the first time I sat in your room office was like, was I 19, 20? Maybe. Maybe just turned 20. I mean, I was. So you've been with me through, you know, meeting Christian and getting married and having kids and postpartum and all things ministry and all things real life. And what I love about sitting across from you in a room is you always pray first and you always ask the Holy Spirit to counsel. And even this morning, you know, you always say, like, you will never share anything, and I know you truly won't because your girls never know anything that I tell you. But I will say this. It's so cool that you do that, because the way that I've seen God love me through you making space for me to see God has been so cool. Like, this morning, you were like, this is so crazy. I was looking for my books, YouTube, Tell what Happened, because this is a part of doing it with God.
Tara Tucker
Okay? A part of doing it with God. 1. Any person that I sit with, I see is a God trust. I mean that. And it truly. It's an honor now. It's an honor to sit with you. It's also an honor to sit with someone if God leads, who works at McDonald's, if that be where they are in life and what they're. And even what they're called to. There's nothing wrong with that at all. But all people who. If God lays it out and that's who I'm sitting with, I see it as, okay, God, this is a trust. I want to be trustworthy. And I see that as both an honor and I'm answering to God and doing my very best just to the best of my ability. But a sweet thing in joining God at work, mostly. I'm listening. I'm a trained listener and question asker. That's what therapists really do. Except that I'm trying to be in tune with the Holy Spirit. And my goal is for you all, for the Holy Spirit to be working in your midst and also working when I'm not there, always at work. And so I was. I was looking, coming to visit, just coming for a little visit. And I get to see you and Christian, who I love, and I'm looking through books and trying to be responsible with this. I didn't know we were talking about the study. I thought we were talking about relationships. And my husband's always like, honey, you've done this almost 20 years. You know the answers. I'm like, no, I want to be responsible and, and just make sure I'm giving the correct information the best I can give. Hadn't looked at this in a while. So I'm looking through books and in a book in my space, and you haven't been in that space in a long time. And I know not for this reason. At the end of every marriage and family, pre engagement or premarital session, we go to Scripture and we take it through 1 Corinthians, you know, we know the love and what love is and how you can love each other in a God way. And then we'll go to Ephesians and we'll begin with that mutual submission and how you submit to each other. And we'll read through that chapter in Ephesians and then we'll come down to the bottom and basically it's love and respect. And we'll talk about how a man feels loved when he feels respected and a woman feels loved when she feels cared for, adored, taken care of. And I'll share that, you know, and this author wrote about it. And it's a great book. And doesn't every counselor wish they had written it? And so. Because it was so smart and accurate. And so I know we talk about that at end of a premarital. Wasn't thinking about that. In my stack of books, there was a tag sticking out like a bookmark. And so I saw and I grabbed it just because it was in the stack and I was tucking it in and I opened it and I thought it was my book because I know I've had that book. I've read that book years and years ago, like many years ago. I open it and Sadie, it was your book. It was to Sadie and Christian.
Sadie Robertson
Literally.
Tara Tucker
It was a wedding gift. And I was like, I don't know how I got this, but I'm going to see them tomorrow, and I'm going to make sure I see them tomorrow because God is at work and I'm taking them their book. And I would have given it to you years ago. I wasn't keeping your book. Had no idea. But that's the fun in watching God at work. And then I also, I don't take credit for anything. When God does a good work, it's God doing it. I just got to be a little part.
Sadie Robertson
It was the coolest thing because it literally was this book that she was looking, she was looking for all the other stuff to study for the podcast. And it said to Satan Christian. And it was a note from the author of the book to us, which I never got, obviously. I never brought that to you. I don't know how you got it.
Tara Tucker
I don't know how.
Sadie Robertson
And Christian and I got married five and a half years ago. So the fact that that's been sitting on your desk and then you find it the day before you're gonna see us and before we're gonna get to meet with you. And then it was just so cool because the. So much of our conversation today went back to stuff in the book. All right, fam, I gotta brag on Mr. Pen for a second because they have truly become my go to for Bible study and journaling supplies. One of my favorite things to do is sit down and read God's word, slow my brain down and take notes or journal right there in the margins. And that is why I love Mr. Pen. It's a Christian company that actually designs pens and highlighters specifically for those, those ultra thin Bible pages. Their highlighters don't bleed through. Their pens write super smooth and I never have to worry about it ruining a page that I poured my heart into, which is so cool. If you're a Bible reader, you know how big of a deal that is. They've got over a hundred thousand five star reviews on Amazon, which honestly does not surprise me one bit, but is very impressive. So whether you're diving deep into scripture, taking notes in class, or just need a reliable pen to use while listening to a great sermon, Mr. Pen has you covered. I love all the Mr. Pen products. I think their highlighters are amazing because they, you know how sometimes like Bible highlighters, they, they're just not quite as good as like regular highlighters, but these are actually the same quality as a good highlighter, except for it doesn't bleed through the Bible pages. So very impressed by that. And also I love just their tabs like, they have very nice tabs that keep me in the book that I'm in. Especially whenever I'm preaching, I'm going back and forth. Makes it super simple for me. So they just have everything they've really thought of at all. So stock up on your Mr. Pen Bible Journaling supplies today. Visit Sadiepens.com and be sure to check out my favorite, that's Sadepens.com to get all your Mr. Penn Bible Journaling supplies. You're going to be so glad that you did. And I was just like, like, that is the beauty of getting to let the Holy Spirit lead. And that you let the Holy Spirit lead as you counsel and as you walk people through therapy. I mean, it is the coolest thing to be on the receiving end of it, and I'm sure the coolest thing for you to get to, like, constantly be blown away by God, always. One thing that I want to ask you, because it's actually been a topic we've talked about in the podcast a recently, is that sometimes the plan God has for you is out of the box of what society has set up, right? So it's like you wanted to be a therapist and more therapist, but then you also had this pastoral side of you, and then you didn't necessarily want to do it for the money because then that got complicated with how you could bring God into the mix. And there's insurance and there's all this stuff therefore leading you to have to say, okay, well, God, if you're calling me to this and it's gotta look outside of the box. How do I trust you with that? Well, then now we're sitting on the other end of it where it's like you come up with this generational blessings book. You've been walking people through therapy for years and years and years. It's obviously worked. You know, it's obviously been a blessing. But there are so many people who listen to this podcast in their 20s and 30s going, Man, God, you put so much in me. And they're trying to fit it in the box that is a degree or the box that is, you know, this job title. But yet God's like, calling them to use all of their talents. You know, how do you trust God in those moments? And what does it look like to be okay with stepping outside of the box when you feel like a God calling on your life?
Tara Tucker
Wow, I feel like I've lived outside of the box. And just the sweet part of what I get to do, it increases my faith. I always say, I Get to hear God's stories, and I get to watch God be at work in people's life, and it makes me believe in more. You mentioned schooling, and I was so blessed to get to go to school as much and as long and all those things, even though it didn't always feel like a blessing. But I know a lot of people with a lot of degrees, and that's wonderful. But I know a lot of people who know Jesus who might not have those degrees, and that's wonderful. And so in my path, it was a combination. And really, there's not exactly a box for me, except that I follow Jesus. And whatever God has called you for, whatever he's laid on your heart, he'll make a way. And is it easy to always trust? Well, faith is not knowing and doing it anyway. And so you just go with, and God will kind of. He'll lead the way. I think about. I glanced over at that workbook years ago as I counseled at the church, and I didn't know what I was gonna do. I just knew I was always called to ministry. And that was a good fit at the time. And it trained me so well, like, for dual relationships and stuff. Like, I always tell people, you don't have to hide from me. I promise I won't be weird if I see you outside of this. And I'm never gonna ask you how you're doing. I just know you a little better, love you a little more. The Holy Spirit really does make it like, what's in this room is this room, and what's outside of that. It's almost like two different people. But when I was counseling at that church, there was a redbird. I know they're cardinals. I do know that in my simpleness. But there was a redbird that would sit on my car mirror for hours, like, all day, every day, and would peck at the mirror underneath it. So people would come in and they would tell me that they had been visited by their grandmother. And I would get so aggravated, I'd be like, lord, now they've wasted half a session. They think that's their grandmother and it's not. But God was using that because at first it aggravated me, and then I was like, okay, I kind of love that silly bird. And then when I was getting ready and felt God was leading me to write that, I was like, lord, you'd have to bring a red bird. And he did. And I was like, okay, I do not worship the red bird. Like, I'm always, like, sticking in my little lines and I was like, but I do worship the God who is kind enough to bring him when I need him, because he knows and he'll encourage me in that calling. And yours might not be a bird, but it might be a direction. It might be, however, the Holy Spirit, the people he surrounded you by, the different things that are just something between you and God that God knows you love and you know God knows you love people who speak truth, speak encouragement. You go with God and trust God with the rest of it. And even that is that act of faith. And that's you going, okay, God I trust. I hand it to you and God being faithful always, then it's no longer your responsibility. You're doing the best you don't do. And it doesn't mean easy and it doesn't mean. A funny thing about generational blessings is God's not about finances. Like, it's included. Like that. That's a great blessing. But God is the blessing.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Tara Tucker
Having nothing separate us. And I always, I pray blessings. I pray also financial blessings on, on. On all of us to be taken care of. I'm not that, but that's not the point. God is the blessing. God is the blesser. Having nothing separating us in our relationship from God. Yeah, that's the blessing. And so in your walk of your calling, if it draws you closer to God, if you're transformed as you walk by faith, you are blessed.
Sadie Robertson
Great. That's so beautiful. I meant to tell you this. This is actually so cool. On my way out of our house this morning, I got to the end of the driveway waiting on the gate to open, and I'm not kidding, a red bird flew right in front of me, and I was like, oh, my gosh, this is so classic of God that on my way to go see Ms. Here, it's just the kindness of God. And I love that you said, it's not like you're worshiping that thing, but you're worshiping a God who's kind enough to bring the thing to make you smile and go, okay, God, I see you.
Tara Tucker
And thank you for seeing me.
Sadie Robertson
Yes. It's so cool. So I want to talk about. Because you are so saturated in the Holy Spirit and love the Lord, and everything you do is led by God. And you actually talk about this in the book. It's like how everything you do is, like, shaped by what your view is of God and the way that you think and everything. And there are people who are listening to this podcast who are tracking with you. They're like, this is so Good. Yes. Amen, sister. Preach. And there are people who are like, how do you even see God like that? Like, how do you know God like that. Can you talk a little bit about just that view of God and what has shaped it? I know this is a big question. You go through this a lot in the book. But I think it's an important thing to talk as we encourage so many people, like, gotta let God lead. And people are like, how do you even know God?
Tara Tucker
I'm telling you, part of it really is that I've gotten to hear a thousand stories and part of it is the story. And we're all born into a narrative, a family of origin, and we start there. And I'm always telling people there's. I don't know, there's just so many viewpoints out and breaking cycles. I'm all about breaking cycles. I'm all about that. But I'm also about gathering treasure and keeping the treasures and going and the things that were harmful or sin patterns that ran in my family. Like, I teach people how to draw a genogram. It's a master's course for marriage and family therapists. But it's not that hard. And everybody can learn from theirs. And I've done them in prisons. I had a lady once, she probably had a fourth grade education and only God knows everything she had been through. But God loves her, her and regardless. And so. And she can always choose God and have a redemptive story. She can always. I was at this and now I'm at this. God saved me. And so she's absolutely a perfect candidate to be sitting there taking the class. So she draws hers like on a fourth grade level and she still gained. Okay, well, this person was hardworking, but this happened and I don't want that anymore. And so she was able to gather some treasure and she was able. I call it trash. But no human is trash. No human. But the behaviors that need to be taken out, like the trash. And then you get to choose which one you live from. Those are treasures and those are some of the blessings. A part of what I was born into was a mom who had grown up in an orphanage and a grandmother who had adopted her, but had been sick, but still loved Jesus and mentally sick, very mentally sick. And all she had was her Bible. And she would pray and she would sing and she would walk up and down the street and she would have good days where she would read to me. My mom did not know to not leave me with her, but all this woman had left was her faith. And so I grew up watching that be real. As real to me as air. And everybody's got their story. And I also had another side of the family that was more religious. They had more rules. They were good people, but they were more rule based. God allowed me to be born into that family from that some of my beliefs, because we're shaped from our family of origin and we learn from our life stories. Like we're always taking things in, so we're always gathering information. In my life story, I was saturated in every day. There were hounds every day. There was Bible reading and carrying. It was a little extreme. It was a little extreme and yet it was just normal. And then on Sundays we did church. And so that was great. And so that was a part of my DNA which kind of led me into this. And plus my mom, although she could have chosen to have turned from God, she had every reason, didn't she, chose to instead. She still says the good Lord. Now. She has some behaviors. I'm not just like her in, she has other behaviors. And there are a lot of attachment issues that I'm like, oh, I admire and I treasure that. And so we're shaped from our family of origin. And some people have grown up and they, like me, were saturated in it. Others have grown up and they haven't heard of God at all. Okay, I think that's growing. I think God's going to be known. And I would even say in this generation that God is being known. Jesus hasn't come back yet. So God is still at work doing what God's at work and doing. And that is bringing his kids back. And so to him. And that includes Gentiles. That's all of us. God loves and wants all of us. And we get to choose.
Sadie Robertson
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Tara Tucker
But we're shaped by both our family of origin, what we're born into. We're shaped by our story. I always tell people, you are not your story. You are not the worst part of your story. You're not the best part of your story. But your story has had a part in shaping you. It's given you a narrative. It may be a false narrative. That family of origin may have given you a false narrative narrative. So we look through family of origin genogram week two. We come just as we are. There is no choice. It's all you got. It's all you got. Try to come to somebody else. You won't be able to. And so, and we look at our narrative and then we go, okay, neither of those are our identity. And we come back to. There's a saying Tozer T o z er I'm always like, did I say it right? Did I not say it right? But Tozer, one of those great writers wrote the most important thing about any person is what they believe to be true about God. I have found that 1 what you believe to be true about God 2 self 3 others shapes everything else you believe to be true on the planet. So let's look at it. Sitting in classes with women who were in prison and having the question posed, what do you believe to be true about God? Now they've got awful stories. They've lived. I've never done a genogram and go, I'm so surprised that you got here. Like, how. How could this have happened to you? You just out of nowhere made. No, it makes sense. You're like, why would they not have.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Tara Tucker
With the life they were given. I had a lady walk into prison one night and I told her, you know, this is the study. And she literally said to me, I need you to know that I hate God. First night.
Sadie Robertson
Wow.
Tara Tucker
I sized her because I thought, okay, you're going to hate me. Can I take you? Probably not, but at least I can be safe if you decide you hate me. And so. And I. But instead I said, okay. I said, but I love God and I'm going to talk a lot about him, and you're welcome to stay, but you can go. She said, I'll stay. And I was like, great. So excited. By the end of the class, she said they would call me professor. I wasn't really their professor, but she said, professor Tucker, I need you to know I really don't hate God. God, I really love God. I just hate what people did in his name.
Sadie Robertson
Wow.
Tara Tucker
And oftentimes we're made in the image of God.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Tara Tucker
But we as humans tend to make God in our image and what we know to be true. It's all with God, whether it be father, mother, caretaker, just. Just what we've been raised around. We think God is like, or even ourselves. Like we would. And so in the study, we stop and go, okay, let's question. Let's lay it out there. People do all this deconstructing now that you can look up anything in just a minute. This is what I've learned. God is bigger. God is bigger than any verse. You want to park on and argue with God. God is bigger than the narrative of God. God is bigger than the words of God. In the same way, Sadie, if you wrote your life story, would you be bigger than your writing of your life story? Yes.
Sadie Robertson
Good.
Tara Tucker
If you were to. That's the narrative. You're talking to me. We've got words. And words are so powerful. Are we as individuals bigger than our words, as is God?
Sadie Robertson
That's great.
Tara Tucker
And so for those. I want to debunk it. I want to find this. Scholars argue about what different verses mean. Mean. But the greatest of scholars will all agree on the Christ Event Jesus came, born of a virgin, died on a cross, rose again. They'll all point back and go, we want to argue about this and we want to argue about women in the church. And we want to, okay, but they all land on that Christ event that happened. And I love that. And so in the study, we go, okay, what's shaped your view of God? What do you just not understand? What's never going to make sense to you? Lay it out there. God already knows because he knows your heart. Then we look at, okay, let's take our Bible as our textbook like we would a science book if we were in middle school. This is our text. This is where we're going to find our answers. And we pull through and we go, okay, this is our text. This is true. God's word is true. It is the truth that we have. Did humans write? Yes, because God let them. Because he let them. And they were inspired, though, by the Holy Spirit. And so you take it and it's the only book that can transform a human. It's the only one that I read and it talks back and I'm changed. I can read the same verse 10 different times in 10 different seasons, and it can meet me right there. I've read many books, many times. Only that one does that. That. So we go, we're going to use that as the text. That is the truth. Then you go another step and you go, okay, so if that's the text, this is what we're taking as true. What is the character of God? Because I'm not real easy on just trusting just whoever. I'm not one of those easy to trust. So I got to know your character. There are a lot of things I'm not impressed by. You know me. So you're kind of grinning, but there are a lot of things I'm not impressed by. I know you are. I know you are. I'm telling you, my daughters know after our own family. You're way high on that list of my. My favorite humans on the planet. I'm like, that one's the real deal. And I know you're that way, and you're raised by people who are that way. You come from a good. When I think generational blessings, I've been around. I haven't been around your dad's side as much, but I've watched you in your mom's side of the family a little bit, and I'm like, oh, that's beautiful. That's like, to great grandmother, like, that's a. That's a Passing it down. And no one's perfect. I'm not saying they're perfect. And nothing against your dad's side. I think they're love. I saw him once at your wedding, but I don't know them as well. But I just see that and I'm like, oh, that's good stuff. And part of what's made you you. And so in that not being easily impressed, I need to know people's character. And it takes me a minute. The names of God describe the character of God.
Sadie Robertson
I love that part of the.
Tara Tucker
So isn't that cool? And so. And I didn't make them up and I can't pronounce half of them, but I can find the God I know in them. And so you take it and you go, okay, the truth is God's word, the character are the names. And I have people filter that through. And then we land on the fact that God is perfect. Love. God is agape in your best interest. Love. God's always for you. When I say God's at work, God is always at work in the work that God is at work in doing. I went to church my entire life, had 20 different Bibles. Every Bible study you could imagine. And I didn't know what God was at work day. A beautiful picture of that is Isaiah 61. That's what the study kind of. And I'm not saying that's the most important scripture in all the Bible, but I think it paints a really good picture because in Luke 4, Jesus quotes Isaiah 61.
Sadie Robertson
I love that.
Tara Tucker
Isn't that cool? It's just the coolest thing. And basically says, this is what I'm here to do. And so. And that's what he's at work doing. Restoring, renewing, rebuilding, coming after his kids and doing the works of the enemy. Bringing us back to in Eden before anything separated us from God, getting us to where we can repent through that cross turn and come back to God.
Sadie Robertson
So good.
Tara Tucker
Because God loves us. None of us have had perfect parents. I am not a perfect parent. I on purpose tried really, really hard. And I'm still not a perfect parent. I know I've messed up at times. Everybody has, everybody will. Because we're not perfect, we're not God, but God. God is through that love. So you go, God's word is true. God is his characteristics from his name. I can pull that through. The essence of he really is love. It doesn't take out judgment. It doesn't take out him being holy. He is not our big buddy in the sky. There should be a fear and reverence for God. And then I go, look back, tell me, ask the Holy Spirit to lead you pray, say, God, show me where you've been this. And I have them pull out and go, okay, that's your faith in your God. And then for those who go, I don't want that. I'm like, that's fine, you can stay. You are still going to learn. Some really good knowledgeable have been proven to work theories that can benefit you. But you're turning from God does not make God turn from you because he can't do. He's the light of the world, so he's always going to want you to turn back to him, but the choice is yours. And so. And I'll stand on that and just be like, that's God. We can believe that God. And if you had heard half the stories, I mean, I'm just like, I've gotten to gather them. It's priceless. It is priceless. And just see God at work in people's lives and what only God could have done.
Sadie Robertson
So cool.
Tara Tucker
I promise people wouldn't die and they would see in their own life. The goal is that they can see. Wow. God was always loving me. God's not like, whoever let me down that I may have thought God had been like, God wasn't waiting to hurt me. God wasn't going, oh, let's see where they mess up so I can zap them. God was actually loving me and trying to bring me back to him. Circumstances may be hard. We can't base who God. God is good regardless of the circumstances. I've had people say, you know, where was God when with you? Why didn't God prevent free will? Those are hard. And then you go back to your list of God. I will never understand this. And sometimes you just have to leave that there and go, but I will trust you.
Sadie Robertson
That is so.
Tara Tucker
That's a lot. You didn't even ask for all that.
Sadie Robertson
There are so many things you just said that I'm like, Like one, mind blown. Two, want to unpack. Three, want to listen back to the last five, ten minutes myself and just dwell on the way you just. People listening to this podcast right now, you just unpacked how to discover God and how you've discovered God and put so much truth into it. I remember the first time I heard a sermon preached on Isaiah 61 and Luke 4, and my mind was so blown because I didn't understand at that time how the Bible was truly one whole story and what Prophecy meant like that things written in Isaiah were hundreds of years before they happen. And then Christ fulfilled them. Like, that hadn't hit me yet. And so when Jesus heard Isaiah 60:1 be read as a scroll and then said, that's me, like he found himself in the story and told everyone, this is me in the story. This is what I'm gonna do. And then proceeds for the next, you know, remainder of the book to do it and to fulfill all the things. And it's still deal and is still doing it. It's so incredible. Friends, let's talk about marriage. It is one of the most beautiful gifts from God, but let's be real, it is not always easy. One of the biggest challenges couples face today is the impact of technology on their lives. And that's why I'm so thankful for tools like Covenant Eyes. Their victory software helps couples build trust and protect their marriage by bringing accountability into the wedding. Way that we use the Internet, Victory monitors screen activity and sends reports to your chosen accountability partner that can be your spouse, maybe a close friend, so that you can really create a relationship rooted in honesty and openness. In today's digital world, pornography and inappropriate content are way too easy to access and it can creep into marriages, creating distance almost before we even notice it. But Covenant Eyes helps you fight the battle together. And it's definitely not about guilt tripping or pointing the finger. It's just about getting honest with each other, healing together and fighting for the kind of marriage, marriage that's full of grace and growth, the kind that actually lasts. Because when God designed marriage, he meant it to reflect his love. Full of truth and trust and totally unshakable. And Covenant Eyes is such a helpful way to keep that foundation strong, even in a tech savvy world. I have talked so much on this podcast about just the beauty of authenticity and vulnerability and confession and what's on the other side of that. And I know it can be really scary to bring someone into things and confess things and, you know, be held accountable, but I truly believe that that's where freedom begins. If you're married, engaged, or even just dreaming about the future. I cannot recommend Covenant Eyes enough. Go to covenant eyes.com Sadie to learn more and start your journey towards a healthier, stronger marriage today. That's Covenant Eyes.com Sadie I've been thinking about this aspect of God lately, is that. And I hope this makes sense because I haven't processed this out loud to anyone but Christian, but it just has meant something to me because I have been and you know, I like to be over prepared for everything, which is my blessing and my curse. And I have been trying to prepare for the unknowns of this season of life. Well, news flash, you can't totally prepare for the unknowns of a season of life. All of them are going to. Any time you step into something new, it is going to also come with risk. And you're going to have to have open hands with that. And I think when you open yourself up to be more known by people, you're opening yourself up to be more misunderstood by people. People, which is really hard to like willingly walk into. Or when you open yourself up to a new thing, you have to know there's going to be a good side of this and a bad side of this, and there's always going to be. And the other day I was thinking about this and I thought about God and I was like, God allowing himself to be known by man, was willing to be misunderstood by man. And he sits here perfect and holy, holy, holy. And looks down and we misinterpret and misunderstand and are confused by and question and wrestle with. And he's okay with that because in that wrestle you get to know more. You always have more revelation of who he is. And it always is going to come back to that he's holy and that he's loving that he's good. At the same time, he's willing to take a risk that whatever he creates, create is going to have opportunity for good and have opportunity for evil. I was thinking about this with like AI which is like, just blows my mind. And I was like, okay, because I just went to the Illuminations gathering and they were talking about how AI is going to like rapidly increase the timing of when Scripture is going to be able to be translated into every single language on Earth, which is fulfilling like a prophetic word that like every tribe, every tongue will know and then like the end will come. Well, that was supposed to take over a hundred plus years. Now with AI it could literally take, you know, just the next 10 years. Well, I just heard that with Illuminations last month, I was at a completely different conference with politicians and world leaders and all this stuff. And they're talking about AI and they're talking about how destructive AI is and how it's too powerful and it's going to destroy the world and how are we going to even live the next 10 years with the power of technology, because if it gets in the hands of evildoers and people, blah, blah. So back to back, I'm like, God, first of all, how am I in these rooms? But I, I got to see one perspective of the creation of this new technology could have the potential to destroy us. And then the creation of this technology could have the potential to fulfill the prophecy that the Lord would come back and not destroy us, but get every single person in the world the chance to know the hope of Jesus. I was like, God allowed AI to happen, like knowing the good and the bad. You know, he allowed mankind to have the idea to create something that would be this powerful. I think about social media. God allowed social media to happen. There's a lot of bad that happens on social media. There's a lot of good. And as I was breaking this down, I was like, and then God created me who has the full potential to, to be used for good or totally be used for evil and do evil and turn my back and like. And just the willingness of God to like, create humanity in our messiness and in our imperfections and like, allow us to be a part of the plan. Because Christian said about the Bible translation, why didn't God just do it? Like, why do we have to, to, you know, work this hard and all come and it'd be so complicated. I was like, but then if he did it, why would Jesus tell us, like the Great Commission to go and tell, like, we get to be a part of building kingdom on earth. Like, he actually wants us to do it with him. Because the beauty of being in a relationship with God is that you get to be in relationship with God and that God would like, allow himself to be in this messy relationship with mankind kind, even though he's so holy, which only is possible because of Jesus and the blood of Jesus, it's just been blowing my mind and it's been like, so cool because as I step into things, I'm like, I have to trust situations and things to know that, hey, there's a good and the bad to this, and that's okay. And God's still good no matter what.
Tara Tucker
And he's in me.
Sadie Robertson
God's still holy no matter what. God's still loved no matter what. And hey, there's a potential to be misunderstood in that. And that's okay because God's misunderstood and. And I'm gonna be able to relate to him more and find myself in him more and find agape love in him more as I'm misunderstood. And it's just like amazing. Cause I think when you think about God, for me, even, like, sometimes we put God in this context of like, Sunday Church, or we put God in this context, like when I read my Bible. But it's really cool when you start going, God, what do you think about AI? God, what do you think about my friendships? God, what do you think about me doing a podcast? God, what do you think about? And then you get to walk with God. That's how, like, when you get to counsel with God, living with God, and you see red birds and you see these things, it's like, oh, God, you're in it all. And, yeah, it shapes the way that you love God, shapes the way that you love people. It shapes the way that you love yourself to your point of. Those things shape everything about your life. It's just truly walking with God. There are so many things from everything you see said, I want to touch on it. I'm torn which way to go. But one way I do want to go is because people do say that about my family sometimes, you know, it must be nice. You had this amazing generations before you. That's why you are the way you are. And I'm like, honestly, yes, it is. It's. I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful for that. That is probably the why, why I am how I am. I've been so blessed to see it generation after generation. And people are like, I wish I had that, but I don't, you know? And it breaks my heart because, like, the truth is, most people do not have that. That's not the story. You talk about this a lot. In generational blessings, there's generational blessings, there's generational curses. Like you talk about. There's treasure, there's trash, there's hard things. And in my story, like you said, in my generations, it is not perfect. That's why you counsel me and help me through things. Nobody's perfect. But there are certainly more tragedies, tragic stories. Like you mentioned the women in prison. And I love how you talked about the woman with the fourth grade education. You said she was, like, prime candidate to understand this because of, like, what transformation was available to her. When people look at their life story and what got them to where they are, and it's unfair and it's not right. Like, how do you go, hey, there's still hope and you can be that change. You can change. You can be transformed. Especially because you hear, like, no one can. Like, you can't really change. You can't change someone, blah, blah, like, how do you encourage that person to go, hey, you're not too far off, you're not too far gone. You're not too old, you're not too young to be that shift in your generation.
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Tara Tucker
I would tell them, even looking back like, and that's why I share and with my mom's permission, the little bit of her story. I know a little bit of family of origin. I shouldn't be me, my daughters shouldn't be them. That shouldn't be our story. But God, she could have turned towards God or way like I'm always just so thankful she turned towards. But to anyone who turns towards God, transformation means change. Things can change. That's the hope with the study that any person can see without tossing their family away. My big thing is let's not toss everybody who's ever poured into is that's not healthy. And all these cutoffs, I hear about that all the time and I'm like, there are times and there are reasons safety, that's a good reason. But for the most part, there are going to be funerals and there are people who did just the best they knew to do with what they had been given. But that you live in a time when something like this even is available to you. You can change that. You've heard the name of Jesus means you can change. Now it takes work, but there is always hope. That's what Jesus did. Jesus gave us hope. Jesus broke the curse of sin. Curses, basically, most of them passed along. They're just behaviors of the ways I talk about Hank Williams Jr. And that just shows you what a country girl I really am. But you know the song why do you drink? Why do you roll Smokes. Like, I can sing every word.
Sadie Robertson
Come on, girl.
Tara Tucker
I don't sing, but I have family members, but not me. But I could sing some Hank Williams Jr. I know every word to the song and I'm like, well, why wouldn't they? It's all they know until somebody knows different. Till somebody meets Jesus. I am one generation down from a mom who was adopted when she was 8 or 9 years old. We don't know because we don't know how old she. I am one generation down. My children are one generation from me. The key to my parenting is I didn't know what I was doing and I knew it. So I was always praying. God, give me wisdom. God help me. God show me the way. God help me treasure these things and change some of these other things that are just because people didn't know better. They weren't bad people. But show me where some things, according to your word, according to who you are, God, God that can be changed. And I promise you, God won't go, no, I forsake you because God can't forsake. And so when you're in a space and you're given the opportunity and, and, and there is hope, you are in a church where they're teaching something different where, where you can learn there, there are things on your phone, the helpful part that can help with parenting even. And, and you can just learn different things. As long as you're among the living, you have hope. If you can breathe in, you can breathe out. God's pulling for you. You see things you want to change. You can be the change. You might be the first generation. Wow, you just shook everything up. It may not look like five generations down if it's been passed along, but you've changed everything through the power of Jesus Christ who wants to help you change and be able to pass along. We're blessed to bless in the beginning. You know, when God made man, he made him in his and end image, made him for a relationship, said, be fruitful and multiply. That's family. The multiplying. That's the family said be fruitful and multiply. And he blessed them. God's initial intent was to bless, to be in that communion with humanity. God didn't make us in his image, yearning for relationship. That's part of his image. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. So we would long for relationship to not be there to give us relationship and then also healthier with each other. God can change us. Some good counseling. There are tons of good counselors. I don't have to do it my way. They know the tricks that work. I would say get a Christian a faith based. If you're a follower of Jesus, go to that. And God can work through them, the Holy Spirit can work through them. They don't have to say the prayer. You can say the prayer and sit there and say, holy Spirit, you be my counselor and guide this counselor. I always tell people, pray for your doctors when you go to see the doctor, pray for God to work through their hands. If you have a surgery, pray for God to work through your counselor or your pastor or your. Whoever, your mentor. But just know God can change and he can reframe your story. I think about Joseph, who looked at his brother, came from dysfunction. Oh, my goodness. I have that genogram in there. We've got Abraham, Isaac, you know, and you just go on down. Jacob. He was the worst dad. I'm like, he was a mess, but God was faithful. Maybe not worst dad, but let's just. He had a favorite. He was tough. He had a favorite. He favored the favorite. That upset the brothers. Like, he didn't set it up real well. And then you've got. And Joseph, his brothers really did him wrong. I use him as the reframe because he says, you intended to harm me. Here's the secret. Everybody's got a you. And it's not who you think it is. It's not actually the humans. Our family can hurt us because they're in close quarters. It's the enemy using their wounds. They're not knowing they're getting the best they knew to have received. And him using those spots that are broken to then cause injury to others. Hurting people, hurt people. It's the enemy who's out to hurt you.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Tara Tucker
Most people just doing all they can do to. To get by in this world, but you see it for what it is, and you go, okay, enemy. You intended through whatever to hurt me. And I'm like, don't stop there. But what has God done? And if it's just. But you found me. But now I know you. The scripture says, but God intended it for good and for the saving of many lives. In my story, my hope is that God intended for me to know what blessing is to know Him. To have both treasures and have sin patterns that I repent of, turn from sin is the curse. Jesus broke the curse. Curse. All we got to do is repent.
Sadie Robertson
That's great.
Tara Tucker
Come back to come back to God. Let nothing separate us. Yeah, just. Just come back. Blessed and from being blessed and transformed. As we receive the Holy Spirit as children of God, God will do his part. The Holy Spirit will. Will change us as we seek Jesus. And so with that happening, we're changed to be made into the likeness for our heart. To be more like Jesus. We are blessed. Then we bless others. Changes everything.
Sadie Robertson
Beautiful.
Tara Tucker
So if you're first, you may change everything.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Tara Tucker
Beginning with you.
Sadie Robertson
That's so good. I love. I love your. Everyone's got a you, but it's not who you think it is. That is so good.
Tara Tucker
Because we all think, oh, if this person. Well, this person was just a wounded person by whatever, that God also loves, and they have the opportunity. There is nobody watching that God's against. Yeah, I promise.
Sadie Robertson
It's so good. It's funny because sitting with you for so many years, it's trained the way that I think about things. And so even today, because we're still human, like, you're still gonna. Still gonna mess with you. Even though you know more truth, it doesn't mean that you're still not gonna be, you know, susceptible to the enemy. And I'm like, let me start this by saying, I know this person is a wounded person and going through their things, but also, this is how it made me feel.
Tara Tucker
And that matters.
Sadie Robertson
Wrestled through that, and that matters. Both matter. It's so good. Mr. This is so good. Think about. Because you said, everybody has a choice. You can do this with God or you can do it without God. There's a lot of practical tips people can give you to get by life, but, man, what a blessing it is to do alongside God. And I was reading the Psalms this morning, and it said, though I fall, I will not be. It said, cast headlong, for I will hold the hand of God. God will uphold my hand. I didn't really know what cast headlong meant, so I looked it up, and I could assume what it meant, but I wanted to see exactly what was it. And it was talking about how, like, if you fall fast and, like, then you start going in that, like, downward direction. So it's like snowball. Like, you get pushed down and it goes fast, and then it just spirals. And I was thinking about how in life it tends to happen like that. Like, you get knocked, and then you start going down this trajectory, and it's like a downhill trajectory. And then you got to work yourself out of it or you don't, right? You either keep going in that downhill direction or you stop and you get some help. And I was thinking, man, I'm so grateful that that that psalm said, though I fall, like, not like, if you fall, it's like, no, you're gonna fall. Though I will fall, I don't have to be going in that downhill direction for long. For I hold the hand of God, for God lifts me up.
Tara Tucker
Isn't that beautiful?
Sadie Robertson
And it's beautiful. I was thinking about today, because I read it this morning, that I got to meet with you, and I'm like, this is me not going down long. This is me going I fell. I'm gonna get back up. I think that's the beauty of, like, therapy, but also the beauty of walking with God. Like, you hold the hand of God. So, yeah, you can do it without God or you can do it with God. And when you do it with God, you get back up. You get back up a lot stronger.
Tara Tucker
And you get up more than you could get up. We can only get up so much, but we have the same power that raised Christ from the dead. That's a mighty hand to hold. That's a good hand to hold. Now, it doesn't mean you don't have to work your way. I'll say, well, you didn't get here in a day. It's going to take a minute. Like when somebody comes in because everybody wants to be. Fix it now. And I'm like, oh. Oh, my. And sometimes make it happen. And sometimes people, you know, they'll be at the bottom of the bucket. I'm like, that's all right. That's a good spot to reach up. But here's the truth. God is faithful. That hand doesn't move. I think about Jacob wrestling with God because we wrestle, sometimes we fall, we wrestle. And I had a professor that said, how do you think Jacob was able to wrestle with? And a dear friend of mine, she's just wise. And she said, because God didn't let go of Jacob, God never lets go of us. God can't not be God, so God can't not be good again. Holy. Just all the things. And God can't not be love. And God can't not let go of your hand. You can let go of his and say, no, I will do it my own way. He's still there. And you can always go back.
Sadie Robertson
That's great. It's so good.
Tara Tucker
And I love. And everybody does that. That's okay. With the Holy Spirit in you, the thing to do once you realize I'm on, the second you realize, God help me. Just God help me, that stops it. And then you turn back to God, and he's right there, turn towards you, and you all begin to go a different way.
Sadie Robertson
Yep, it's great. Oh, it's so good. Everything you said is so good. It's been so encouraging. And for those listening, if you're like, whoa, okay, we just got fed so much. Maybe God is moving so much in your heart right now, and you don't quite know what to do with all of it. First of all, I would just encourage you to get with God, sit with God, meditate on that ask God, God, what are you doing in my heart right now? What, what are you pricking in my heart right now that I need to respond to that I need to ask you more about. And so first off, just have a conversation with God. And then secondly, I would say the good news is for you is Mr. Literally did write an eight week study and everything she said and so much more is in here for you to literally work through yourself. There's so much scripture, there's so all the names of God. There are so many places where you can stop and you can write your thoughts out, write what you're going throughout. And then not only that, but she also has her teachings online. So if you're like, I need myster in my life, you can have Mr. Your life. Isn't it generational blessings like dot com. Do you just I think I looked it up this morning.
Tara Tucker
Either.com or do study.
Sadie Robertson
Okay.
Tara Tucker
And I know church groups are starting to look at it and it gets cheaper. If you do it in a church group.
Sadie Robertson
Okay. If you do it in a church group, do it together, which I think is such a blessing to do it alongside of people. It would be amazing because you get to hear Ms. Tara teach for the eight weeks as you go along to study and so just highly encourage you to go look this up and dive more into it. But Ms. Tara, thank you so much for letting me one being on this podcast and blessing us today. But thank you so much for your life work and for putting it on paper for us to have for the generations to come.
Tara Tucker
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
WHOA That's Good Podcast: “Breaking Cycles & Building Something New” with Sadie Robertson Huff & Tara Tucker
Release Date: May 26, 2025
In this heartfelt episode of the WHOA That's Good podcast, host Sadie Robertson Huff welcomes back a cherished guest, Tara Tucker. A dedicated counselor and author, Tara brings her profound insights on breaking generational cycles and fostering personal transformation. Their conversation delves deep into Tara’s journey, her impactful work, and the spiritual underpinnings that guide her counseling approach.
[01:08] Sadie Robertson: "Who is about to get so much better because I have one of my favorite guests that comes on this podcast."
Sadie opens the episode with warmth, expressing her anticipation for Tara's return. She highlights their personal connection, mentioning that Tara has been a counselor not just professionally but also personally, creating a foundation of trust and vulnerability between them.
[02:00] Tara Tucker: "I know who you are and I love who you are."
Their mutual respect and affection set the tone for an open and sincere dialogue, laying the groundwork for the meaningful discussions to follow.
Sadie inquires about Tara’s extensive background in counseling, prompting Tara to share her educational and professional path.
[03:59] Tara Tucker: "I graduated from being a marriage and family therapist in 2008... I was kind of the not on staff, but was the church counselor."
Tara explains her initial role as a church counselor, integrating her faith deeply into her practice. She recounts her transition to offering counseling outside the church setting and her eventual pursuit of a master’s degree in pastoral care, which enriched her ability to merge therapeutic techniques with spiritual guidance.
A significant portion of their conversation centers around Tara's book, Generational Blessings, which offers strategies for individuals to overcome inherited negative patterns and embrace positive transformation.
[03:52] Sadie Robertson: "You have written this incredible study, which are so funny... it's generational blessings."
Tara delves into the essence of her study, emphasizing the importance of understanding one’s family history and identifying both blessings and curses that influence behavior and relationships.
[07:45] Sadie Robertson: "How do you trust God when your plan seems out of the box?"
Tara addresses the challenge of stepping outside societal norms to follow a divine calling, asserting that such paths, though unconventional, are vital for genuine transformation and faith strengthening.
Tara elaborates on how her faith shapes her counseling practices, ensuring that the Holy Spirit leads her sessions.
[12:10] Sadie Robertson: "It's so cool that you pray first and ask the Holy Spirit to counsel."
[14:55] Tara Tucker: "We are shaped by both our family of origin and our story... there's a saying By Tozer, 'the most important thing about any person is what they believe to be true about God.'"
Tara emphasizes that beliefs about God profoundly influence one’s self-view and interactions with others. She introduces the concept of a "genogram" as a tool to map out and understand familial influences, aiding individuals in identifying patterns that require healing.
The conversation is enriched with personal anecdotes illustrating how divine intervention and faith play pivotal roles in both Tara's and Sadie's lives.
[19:23] Tara Tucker: "Having nothing separate us... God is the blessing."
[20:23] Tara Tucker: "Any person that I sit with, I see as a God trust."
Tara shares touching moments, such as finding Sadie’s wedding gift book and witnessing God’s subtle signs, like a redbird symbolizing divine presence. These stories underscore the interplay between faith and personal growth.
A deep dive into theological perspectives illuminates how Tara perceives and experiences God, influencing her counseling methods.
[21:12] Tara Tucker: "What you believe to be true about God, self, and others shapes everything else you believe to be true on the planet."
Tara discusses the significance of scripture as a foundational text for truth and transformation. She highlights Isaiah 61 and its fulfillment in the New Testament as pivotal in understanding God's mission of restoration and healing.
[34:29] Sadie Robertson: "How amazing that Jesus fulfilled the prophecies and continues to work today."
Their discussion reinforces the idea that God’s love and purpose transcend human understanding, providing a backbone for Tara's counseling philosophy.
Tara outlines actionable steps for individuals to break free from detrimental family patterns and embrace a transformative relationship with God.
[47:44] Tara Tucker: "With the Holy Spirit in you, the thing to do once you realize, just God help me, that stops it."
She encourages listeners to engage in self-reflection, prayer, and community support to facilitate healing and growth. Tara underscores that change is possible through divine assistance and personal effort.
[54:30] Sadie Robertson: "Wrestled through that, and that matters. Both matter."
Sadie adds that acknowledging both personal and spiritual struggles is essential for holistic healing, echoing Tara's sentiments on the intertwined nature of faith and personal development.
As the episode draws to a close, Sadie and Tara offer words of hope and encouragement to listeners embarking on their journeys of breaking cycles and building anew.
[56:47] Tara Tucker: "God is faithful. That hand doesn't move."
[58:45] Sadie Robertson: "With God, you get back up a lot stronger."
Their final thoughts reinforce the episode’s core message: with faith and divine support, individuals can overcome past hardships, transform their lives, and positively impact future generations.
This episode of WHOA That's Good serves as an inspiring guide for anyone seeking to understand and break free from generational patterns. Through Tara Tucker's expertise and personal stories, combined with Sadie Robertson Huff's empathetic hosting, listeners are empowered to embrace change, deepen their faith, and build a brighter, more fulfilling future.
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Thank you for tuning into this enriching episode of WHOA That's Good. May you find the inspiration and tools necessary to break cycles and build something new in your life.