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Sadie Robertson
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Brittany
Fam.
Sadie Robertson
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Brittany
We just think we were doing Bible study. We met in the park for Bible study and then we kind of fell off and they were like, we gotta get back to Bible study. So then we met in Freddie's office.
Lydia
Cause our husbands do it so all the time. We were like, why are we so off?
Sadie Robertson
Well, because they do it at like 6:30 in the morning. And that does not work for any of us with all the kids. One because of kids. And mainly because of kids. But also, like, it's early, but they're like, so committed and they do it every week. And we're like, so inspired by our husbands. We're like, man, y'all are always in the word together, together. And they'll be like, oh, yeah, we were talking about this, we're talking about this. And I'm like, we should do that. Yeah, because we hang out all the time. But it's different when you, like, hang out with an intention and like a specific reasoning. Like, okay, we're going to hang out on Friday night. We're going to go do dinner together. But, like, this is going to be our Bible study. But we didn't pick a book to study. So that's probably what led us into this different thing. But the first time we were meeting in Freddy's office, which Freddie's a Counselor. So it already set the tone. There was tissue box present. And so it set the tone for was going to go. And Freddie opened it up with a little word.
Freddie
Well, I had read a Mindivo that morning, I think, or that week. And it was just talking about how we're supposed to use the body of Christ as a place to confess and specifically, like, your community, and how if you're not utilizing that, like, you're not doing what the Lord intended community to be for. And I was very convicted. And I was like, I'm going to share this because I need to basically use my friends as a place of confession. And so I, like, read this whole thing. And then I'm like, I just want to let you guys know I haven't been doing this, but I want to utilize all of you as a place where I can be really open and be vulnerable and, like, talk about my sin. Talk about where I'm struggling with, like, no intention of really anything happening other than me just saying, like, I'm going to use you guys as the body of Christ now. And then all of a sudden, Sadie's, like, sweating, and she's like.
Brittany
I'm like, okay.
Freddie
And she's like, I just feel like. I just feel I need to share. And that's really how it started.
Sadie Robertson
That is literally exactly what happened. And I love how you start acting and being like, okay, because it is so dramatic. My whole body tells the story. But I was. I was, like, sitting there with no intention of, like, coming in and confessing anything or, like, sharing what I was going through. Because to be honest, I'm trying to fact check myself. I don't think I've ever done that in friendship. Like, I don't. I really don't think I've ever done that. Like, I have had really deep best friends who I love so much, and we've had honest conversations and hard conversations, but I have never been like, here's what I presently actively struggling with internally. Because I feel like a lot of times as a believer, it's like you talk about things after it's like a testimony or after it's done, or I'd refer back or something. Or I remember, like, even when Lainey and I, we were walking through coming past, like, some eating disorder stuff, we shared a lot about that. We talked a lot about fear and anxiety, but nothing that made me, like, super embarrassed to say or felt like it really challenged me. I never had that. Like, oh, I'm going to tell you this. Like, I would confess those things to the Lord, I would confess them to a mentor at the time, some of it, but, like, not, like, they're truly hard stuff. Because I would think in my mind, I'll work this out with the Lord. And when it sounds a little better and when I figure this out a bit more, then I'll talk to people about it. But, like, not in the. Well, this day was, like, in the moment of the struggle, and I had really been struggling and just with something mentally. Like, I had just. My mind was just in a bad place, and it had been going on for a little while, and I hadn't talked to anybody about it. And I was, like, embarrassed to talk to anyone about it because I felt like, why am I struggling with this? Like, what is the root of this? Why am I struggling with this? How do I get past this? I just felt bad for it. And so anyways, we're sitting there that day, and Freddie's like, this is the body of Christ should conf so sense to one another. And I'm going to start doing this. I'm like, oh, my gosh, so am I. And so then I'm like, okay, guys, I guess I'll kick start this. And I shared and I cried. And it was really honest and it was really real. And then I was like, I remember I asked you, I said, do you think I should share this with Christian? You know, because I tell Christian everything, but I feel like this is going to be a hard thing to share with him that I was walking through because he doesn't know I'm walking through this. And you know when you share someone with your spouse who loves you so much and you're with every day and they know everything about you, even to say anything that they don't know just feels like it's going to be, like a weird conversation. And y'all are like, yeah, you should, and it's going to help you. And then y'all shared, like, times in your life where you went through something similar and you share with your spouse and the outcome of it. And Freddie, I remember you shared something with me, and it was so funny because after I did tell Christian I called you, I was like, exactly what you said. It was like, almost to a D. But it was just so funny because I remember coming home to Christian that day, Literally, that day is. It just changed my whole perspective. And I was, like, crying and I was so nervous. And I hadn't been nervous to tell Christians something in, like, a really long time. I just don't feel nervous to tell Christian things. And so. But I did. I felt so nervous to tell him this, and I was like, hey, I need to, like, confess something to you. I want to tell you what I've been kind of struggling with. And he just, like, wrapped me up and gave me the biggest hug. And he was like, I have actually, like, I, like, love you so much more now. And he was like. And I. He's like, I feel so much safer around you now because I feel like I can relate to you. Like, and it. Just. Because he was like, sometimes because you don't share your hard things, it makes me feel, like, bad for walking through hard things or, like, stuff like that. And I felt so bad because I didn't realize, like, me not sharing my vulnerable stuff and what I'm walking through made him feel, like, bad for walking those things where I'm walking through it, too. I just don't tell anybody. Like, and I think that we do that in friendship, too. Like, I can think back to the past or even, like, leading people where you're like, if I don't. If I'm not honest, and I'm not sure this is real, then people look at my life and they're like, oh, well, that's what it's supposed to mean to be a Christian. It's like, no, being a Christian is not that you had to be perfect. It's like actively living in confession and repentance and, like, letting the blood of Jesus wash over you daily. And so I just learned so much through that first go around. And what's crazy is, like, from that point on, every single week, one of us cried.
Grace
We did not plan it, but one of us shared.
Sadie Robertson
But, like, had you guys experienced that in friendship before? Like, did y'all. Had y'all been used to confessing things? Or had this confession ever been something new for all of you guys?
Brittany
Brand new. Brand new.
Grace
Yeah, it was different.
Brittany
Yeah.
Grace
Yeah. Because I think, like you said, it's. It's hard to get on that level. Like, maybe there's some levels of confession, but there's always, like, that wall where it's like, okay, we don't pass this. Like, we can share some things, but then when it gets too real, it's, like, hard to share those deep things, because I think it's hard because we. I don't know. I was thinking earlier. I was like, I think sometimes in confession, we make it about us. Like, if confession. Confession seems hard when we make it about ourselves, but confession is not that hard when you realize it's actually Kingdom work. Like, there's a ripple effect that happens when you do get real. And I think for so long, I was afraid to pass that wall because I was like, okay, then they're gonna see me as this. Well, then I'm making it about me. I'm like, okay, now they're gonna think differently of me. But that's not the point at all. It's a much bigger picture than that. And I think we had to experience that to. Once we got past just the, you know, oh, what are they gonna think of me? We're like, no, this is kingdom work. Because one, I'm gonna grow closer to the Lord. Two, I'm gonna have warriors around me, and three, that means in the end, there will be kingdom work done, because this will not hold me any longer. And then I can go and reach others, too. I'm not held back anymore. So for me, I think for so long, the reason it didn't happen is because I was too worried about myself.
Sadie Robertson
That's true.
Grace
But, you know, y'all also created a safe place to where I felt like I could. And not that that hasn't been the case before, but we all are in this room coming purpose that we thought was just to read the word. But when it says, when two or more gathered, there he is. There's his presence. And he was there. And he kind of didn't make it an option. He was like, anytime that we've shared, I feel like y'all could probably all relate, but it's like, we all have that pounding.
Lydia
We're like, should I?
Grace
Should I? Should I? Well, if they ask me one question or whatever happens, and then that person's like, so, how are you doing? Yeah, me. Last week, I was like, I'm about to leave. Like, I had a great time. And then he literally got up.
Sadie Robertson
I was like, wait, how are you doing? You're like, sit back down. Yeah, let's.
Grace
Let's get into it. And then. So, yeah, that's how I feel about it.
Freddie
I think the wall that you're talking about, and that's what kind of like, what really sparked reading that for me, was so impactful, is, like, I had really great community in college, and we did confess like that, but I realized in post grad, like, something was missing in my friendships, and I couldn't really understand what it was. And then the Lord revealed to me, like, it's because I wasn't confessing. Like, I wasn't utilizing my friends the same way. It had nothing to do with the people or the depth of the friendship, it was like, no, I don't feel as close or the friendships don't feel as vulnerable because I haven't taken that step to share. And so that was very convicting for me, too, because it's so easy, like you're saying, to just kind of, like, look outward at other people and go, well, like, it's. It's their fault. They need to do it. But it's like, no, I can start it too. Like, I can have the ripple effect and create vulnerability in my entire friend group if I just step forward. But if I make it too much about myself and go, oh, like, it's going to be too scary, and then you don't ever get that. Like, then you're costing yourself and your community really deep friendship.
Sadie Robertson
That's so true when I think back to my college years, but I didn't go to college, but I live with Sarah, Gracie and Lainey, some of my best friends to this day. But what was different is that they saw me every day. So it's not that I was, like, not confessing necessarily. They just saw what I was going through. And I didn't really have to say it, like, but when you're not in a season of, like, college or, like, you're seeing someone every day or you're living with them, them, it's totally on you. If you share, you don't. Because you can put on a face, you can look good for that amount of time. You can go to dinner with anybody, you can hang out, you can play mahjong, you can play nerds. Like, you can do those things. But it's like, it's up to you to say, like, no, I want you guys to know this about me because I feel like there's a depth of friendship missing or freedom in our friendship missing. And I feel like we've had this conversation, Lydia, where I remember one time you're like, you don't have to miss but me, but I want you to. Because I feel like I'll feel more known. And just from that, it's like, you are more known and you are more loved, and the depth of friendship goes to a whole nother level. But to your point, too, like, you do have to know. It does have to be a safe place. Because I think back to high school, if I would have confessed like that to certain of my friends, that word would have gone to the whole school, you know? And so, like, I think there's wisdom and discernment of knowing who is a safe space. And I think as A friend of receiving someone's confession, like, you gotta carry that with weight and like respect and honor and love for that person. And so, yeah, it's not like, yeah, go confess to like everybody. I mean, I think there is wisdom in that. One major part of your health journey that's easily overlooked is getting enough good quality sleep. The temperature that you sleep at has a huge impact on your rest. So whether you struggle with waking up, sweating or shivering, getting your sleep back on track is so important. And that's why we gotta talk about Miracle made sheets. They are temperature regulating, self cooling and made of silver infused fabrics inspired by NASA. So they're designed to keep you at the perfect temp for top quality sleep every night, no matter what the weather says. Miracle sheets silver infused fabrics do more than just keep you cool. They are also cleaner than any other brand. Miracle sheets Prevent up to 99.7% of bacterial growth, leaving them cleaner and fresher three times longer. And cleaner sheets equals clearer skin. So we love that. Saying goodbye to all that bacteria means saying hello to fewer breakouts and less acne, which is so awesome. Miracle sheets will have your sleep skin and wallet looking better than ever. They are just as comfy as the best five star hotel sheets, but without the, you know, five star price tag. So we love that. Miracle sheets are honestly amazing. The first night Christian and I tried them, we were like so sold. We bought them for other rooms in our house. We had bought them for friends. Guys, you are going to love them. I mean, who doesn't like staying cooler? Who doesn't like, you know, not having to do as much laundry because they're cleaner? It's just a win all around. To upgrade your sleep this year, go to trymiracle.com whoo. To try miracle made sheets today. And whether you're buying them for yourself or as a gift for a loved one, you can order today and save over 40% off. And if you use our promo code Whoa. At checkout, you'll also get a free three piece towel set and save an extra 20%. Miracle is also so confident in their product, it's backed with a 30 day money back guarantee. So if you aren't 100% satisfied, you can get a full refund. Upgrade your sleep with Miracle made. Go to try miracle.com and use their code Whoa. To claim your free three piece towel set and save over 40% off. Again, that's trymiracle.com Woe to treat yourself. What about you, Grace? This is new for you.
Brittany
Yeah, brand new. But one thing I was thinking of whenever Freddie was sharing about how she had that and then didn't because it was so brand new for me. I think that, like, I didn't even know what I was missing until that moment when, like, Freddie shared that. And then you opened up, and then I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, I think it was the very next week, maybe, that I share. I was crying and my heart was pounding, and I was like, it's just so crazy because it truly was a ripple effect. But I was like, I didn't even know. I was, like, missing this. Like, I didn't even know. I've never had it, so I didn't know what it felt like to feel the weight of that, like, just lifted off your shoulders. When you do have the community confess and to your point of, like, obviously, like, wanting it to be a safe space, I think if it's someone that's willing to do the same with you, that's usually a pretty good indicator of it, like, being a safe space because, like, yeah, they're trusting you with theirs as much as you're trusting you with them. And so I think it was just so good for me to see, like, that in y'all. And I think that that was totally Holy Spirit in you and totally in me, even in sharing, because even up until the words came out of my mouth, I was like, I don't want to say it. I don't want to say it. Like, I'll just. I'll be fine. Like, just put it down, whatever. But then, you know, your heart's, like, pounding out of your chest, and you're like, everyone knows. Everyone's staring at me. Like, they can tell. Like, no one is. Like, it's just all you, but. But I don't know. It's just a really beautiful picture of, like, what I needed that I didn't even know I needed, and, like, the. Just the Holy Spirit bringing that into my life. And I was going to say something else, but I forgot.
Sadie Robertson
Mom.
Lydia
Br.
Grace
It'll come back.
Brittany
I don't know what it was. Okay.
Sadie Robertson
It'll come back.
Grace
Okay.
Lydia
Well, I can actually jump in for you there, Grace and Freddy, you just kind of said this a minute ago, but I think our whole friend group agreed that there was just something kind of missing because we were such a fun friend group, and it was always centered around fun, which was incredible in amazing. But I think you were bold enough in that first meeting or one of the first meetings to say, like, hey, this is different. And I think it's Our fault, you know, and, like, that was a hard thing. But then we all looked around. We were like, yes, I agree. Like, we all agreed with one another that there was something missing. And. And I don't know if whenever we're about to do this, but the ins and outs that you talked about earlier, Sadie, my in was going to kind of be around that topic of the recognition that friendship in adulthood looks different than friendship in high school and college because of, like, what you were just saying, Sadie, of. You used to do life with those people every single day, especially when you lived with people. Like, you're with them 24 7. They see every part of you. And then our friendship, we start in, like, adult marriages. It's so different because we're not seeing each other 24 7. So we can put on, like, the good face of, oh, I'm good. Like, I'm fine, Nothing's wrong, because you're not seeing me at night time when I'm going to bed. You're not seeing me in the morning or when I can't sleep or, you know. Yeah, you're not seeing every single part. So I feel like adult friendships take so much more intentionality. And that was just kind of a learning curve, though we all kind of have gotten to experience together. Of it does take away more intentionality. And we get to make the choice to be intentional with each other, which made a whole difference in our friendship.
Sadie Robertson
So true. I think back to that, and I. Our. Like you said, it had been years because we had been such great friends. We would do all the fun stuff together, all the parties, all the holidays. Like, just like normal friendship, I feel like. But then it would be like, what's missing? Why have we not connected deeper? Because it would feel like, okay, if I went through something, like, it might feel awkward to call one of y'all, you know, Like, I know that sounds terrible, because that's not true. But it was like, we hadn't developed that yet. Like, we haven't created that yet, you know? And then I feel like now we're at the point where. Where I will call one of y'all. I will be texting y'all, like, because y'all know what's going on in life. It's not just about fun. It's about the date, like, the life. And we still have so much fun together. Cause that's a huge element of friendship. But there's so much more depth to it. And, like, that is such a gift. But I think that, like. So Lydia just mentioned the ins and outs. I had texted them, and I was like, hey, what are your ins and outs of friendship? Like, what are the things that you're like? This is in my life for friends, and this is what I'm, like, pushing out. And I think back again, like, I had the best friendships. Like, when we lived together, it was so fun. It was such a gift. But for me, I remember they would challenge me because they're like, you don't share. You're reserved. Like, you come in, and we ask you how your day is, and you just say, good. And then we see on social media that, like, you just wrote a book, and why didn't you tell us that? And I'd be like, it felt weird. I really did struggle with that. And that came from past friendship, high school stuff, where I felt like if I was doing anything different than people were trying to tear it down or trying to talk bad about me or, like, people were looking for something, like, looking for me to confess something to then spin it on me and make me look bad or whatever. So I really did not trust people and friendships. And I would fear to get close because I would fear of, like, what would hurt, you know? And so my out is, like, just that fear and friendship, because I think that fear of relationship, it just holds you back. Like, there is an element to relationship that you just have to trust. Like, you have to trust people, and you have to let go of some of that and just go, okay, I'm choosing to trust you. And then that's where really freedom and love and, like, real relationship happens. And so my end is, like, being vulnerable and sharing the wins and the losses. Because one of the things that y'all have done in my life that's impacted me so much is celebrate our wins. Like, y'all literally came to Caleb whenever I hosted where, like, and I didn't even feel weird about that. I was, like, so glad y'all were there. And, like, y'all change cheered me on and what I was doing. And then we went back to the house and, like, ate pizza. And that's one of my favorite memories of last year. Not the Caleb awards, but eating pizza with my best friends at the house, after which I am sorry all Yalls cars got hell damaged from that day in Nashville. That might not be Yalls best favorite beer. It was, like, really impactful for me. But then also, y'all are the people I told, like, the thing I didn't want to tell anybody to. So, like, you celebrated my wins, and you sat with me and, like, Literally let me cry in yalls arms basically, and my losses. And so like, that is just a beautiful thing about our friendship I'm so thankful for. Anybody else have their ins and outs prepped.
Lydia
I feel like I can say my out because I just kind of said my in. So I'll just, I'll go ahead and.
Sadie Robertson
Get them both need the out.
Lydia
Okay, so the in recap is the recognition and for the need for intentionality because it's just so needed. And, and so then my out that goes along with that is stopping overthinking, especially when life gets in the way. Because again, you know, the need for intentionality is because adult friendships look. And so with that also being the truth, sometimes life does happen and you do go a few weeks without seeing each other or a month. And, you know, I feel like y'all probably can relate. You know, your mind sometimes will be like, well, we must not be that. Like, they must not really love me. Like we don't love each other like we thought we did. You know, like your mind will play that kind of trick on you. Like we haven't seen each other in a while, so they must not love me. They don't miss me. Like, you know, and so that's out of the overthinking that just because life happens that your friendship changes because it's not not the truth. Like your friendship can still remain so intentional and real even when life happens.
Sadie Robertson
You know, when you get to that place of really being confident, it is the greatest gift. Like all my long distance friendships, I'm just so grateful to have them and I'm so grateful for all of them and I'm so grateful that they don't put that expectation on me. Like, oh, if I don't, you know, call every day or FaceTime, like, because I don't because we're busy. Every time we see each other, it's like pick up right where you left off. Know you love each other. And I feel like when we were all younger, like, immaturity doesn't allow yourself to do that. The more you mature in friendship and yourself in life, it's like, man, what a gift to like trust that the other person loves you and has your best interest. Just because time has gone by doesn't mean anything, but it's so true. Your mind does wonder, you know, so it's good. Anybody else with your ins and outs?
Grace
I was going to say I could go off of that because it's kind of similar. Both are. Mine are some things we've already talked About, I feel like. But the one was overthinking, but in a different way. I shared this with the group last week, but just overthinking in general. Like, and I just have anxiety after I leave about things. I'm like, okay, everything I said, like, was I too weird? Like, the thing I did, like, what I said earlier, like, was that, like, too much? Or, like, not, like, just overthinking in general, like, what they think of me, and, like, just, like, replaying everything that I said when we hung out. Like, that has to go, because I don't need to do that. I don't have to do that with y'all. But also an out I was thinking of was what we talked about earlier, how we feel like, or sometimes we only talk to each other about things when we met and how you said, like, to be able to call each other or, like, take advantage of our phones, calling, texting in a group message, like, to do it, not just when we're together. So that's the out. The end for me that I was thinking about was to give real answers to questions.
Sadie Robertson
That's good.
Freddie
That's really good.
Grace
Because, again, since we love to have fun together, you know, it's sometimes so easy to be like, how are you doing? Yeah, we're good. Like, you know, that was kind of hard. But no, we're good. We're good. And skip. And so N is to actually say, okay, this is how we're really going. N is to say, even though I was about to leave, I'm gonna go ahead and sit here and tell you how I'm really doing.
Freddie
Yeah, that's good.
Grace
And also to ask those questions, because I think what was crucial in that moment that I'm talking about last week was that you said, hey, how are you doing? Like, I noticed this or that about you. And to have that moment where I was like, oh, I can share this. Like, you care. I know you care. But, like, when you say the question, it's like, it's directed at me. You see me. I can now respond to that.
Sadie Robertson
I want to bring up this because it's such a good point. You know, I think so many people fear, like, being a fun sponge, you know, like, oh, I don't want to, like, not make it fun, or I don't want to say something awkward, or I don't want to ruin the vibe, but, like, what a gift it is to actually just have real conversations. Everybody wants to be really known. And when I said that to you last week, immediately I was like, oh, I shouldn't have because I didn't want to offend you. Because as soon as I said it, you got tears in your eyes and you're like, no, like, thank you for noticing. Like, it means so much that you notice. And I was like, wow, that is so cool. Because I was afraid to say that, thinking you might be like, why'd you say that? You know, like, it. It felt negative, but it's like, no, you love me. Like, you notice that. And so I feel like we fear people's reaction to certain things like confrontation or. But most of the time when it's coming from love, it's met with love.
Grace
And also, how often are we waiting on that? Like, what if I'm just sitting there? Like, maybe I don't feel like I have it in me to bring this up right now, but when it was asked, it almost like a breath of fresh air washed over me. Which sounds weird, but. No, it was really. I mean, I did. I started crying because I was like, like, you see me, you know, and you care. Not that I didn't think you did before, but you really, you were brave enough to bring it up. And now I have this opportunity. And that day I left feeling because again, I did not plan on crying that day. I did not plan on saying anything. I was sitting there having a great time, but I left to feeling so good and I left with no anxiety. I did not leave saying, why did I say this? Why did I do that? No, that was like one of the times where I left and I was like, everything I said, I do not regret.
Sadie Robertson
That's so cool. Awesome. I love that so much.
Brittany
That's so great.
Sadie Robertson
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Brittany
So my out would just be jealousy. I feel like, especially in high school, like, every friendship that I can think back on that was not beneficial for either party was because of jealousy. Either it was rooted on my side or their side, or it was mutual. And it just caused, like, a spiral of not just to the point where the friendship wasn't even, like, beneficial for anybody. And so. So I will say, like, the older I've gotten, it's just easier to not be jealous of things because I do think you learn too, like, kind of what we were talking about that you just can expect the best of. If you have good friends, you can expect the best of them. Like, you can give them the benefit of the doubt. And most of the time that is true, that it's not that they don't want to hang out with you. It's just that life is busy and so is mine and whatever, you know, like, and we go on with it, but out with jealousy. And like I said, that's gotten a lot easier. But I will say in high school especially, that was so hard just to even just, like, I don't know whether it was a material thing or, like, other friendships or whatever it was. And I would say too, like, a practical way, I feel like the way that I kind of even in high school, like, helped rid that of my life was just through gratitude. Because when you're focused on what you do have, it's a lot harder to be jealous about what you don't have. And so just practicing that and even today, like, still practicing that, if I ever see that Take root in my life, but. But also, I feel like the older you get, you just. It gets easier to be. To see, like, all that God has given you.
Sadie Robertson
And it's interesting, though, because you. We've talked about this. Like, sometimes we have relationships with people who are older, and you hear some of the ways that they talk and how their friendships are, and you're like, oh, that's so sad. Make that point to say it doesn't always come with age, but it does come with maturity. And I do think that, like, that a lot of that spiritual maturity.
Freddie
Absolutely.
Sadie Robertson
And rooting yourself in truth. And I think that you don't let your mind go there anymore. Like, if you're jealous to us, like, God, I thank you that you made her just like that. She is beautiful and wonderful, and I thank you. That doesn't take away from who I am, you know, like, you know, how to combat it, where a lot of people never give themselves those tools. And so you look up and you are 35, and you still can't maintain those friendships because of jealousy. So I do think a lot of it comes with age a little bit, but I think more of it comes from maturity, spiritually rooting yourself and being around other people who push you in that way. Like, I think we do have amazing husbands who are in the Word, who push us in those things, too, which is, like, such a gift, because Christian will, like, call it out, you know, and you're like, oh, yeah, you know, thank you for seeing that in me. Thanks. Thanks for that. I love that. But no, I think that that's beautiful that you've grown so much in that. But I think a lot of that for you is probably because how rooted you are, too.
Brittany
Sure. Yeah, absolutely. And that is just a result of time spent in the Word and practice, too. I mean, all of that is like a gentle pruning that the Lord does over time, so. And then my N would probably be. I don't know. I just felt like I was gonna say the older I've gotten, but maybe it's more just the more I've matured, too. I feel like I have just seen friends go through a lot more, like, real stuff in life. And just learning how to, like, sit with people in grief is something that I, like, don't want to forget or let go of ever. Because I think sometimes we, like, try and think of, like, the right things to say or, like, we want to make it better, like, encourage. And sometimes it literally just looks like sitting there and saying, like, I'm so sorry. Like, this is so hard. And crying with someone or holding someone or, you know, making the space to say, like, how are you? And then just listening and, like, just being there. I don't know. I feel like it's such kind of like, a lost art. Like, obviously, working as a nurse in the hospital, I see grief, like, maybe more often than others, so it's more present on my mind. But I feel like there's so many people that just, like, don't know how to grieve. And you could probably speak to that, too, but just, like, knowing how to grieve grief and then also just knowing how to sit with someone in grief because it's uncomfortable. Like, truly, like, especially, like. Like, true. Like, real, deep, sorrowful grief that will probably sit with people their whole lives. Like, that's something that, like, if you're honest, sometimes you're like, oh, I just don't want to go there with someone. Like, it's just uncomfortable. But there's so much value in, like, just sitting there with people.
Sadie Robertson
So.
Brittany
So, yeah.
Sadie Robertson
One of my biggest regrets in a past friendship was not doing that, was sitting with a friend in her grief. I tried to. I didn't know what to say, you know, when I was young. And Grace, for the fact that you're young and you don't know what to do, sometimes if someone's listening, you feel like you really messed that up. There's been so much redemption in that friendship. But I really messed up my friendship for a little while because someone went through a really tragic life situation that they couldn't get out of, and instead of leaning in with them, I avoided it. And then when I would talk to them, I wouldn't ask, and I would just avoid it, and I would talk about other things. And, like, that really hurt that person because she's like, you were not there for me in that season. I'm like, I was not. I didn't know how to be. And now, even when friends go through stuff, it's like, yeah, you feel like, I don't know what to say. I don't want to say the wrong thing. But just being there and sitting and listening and bringing a meal or giving a phone call goes such a long way. So I think that's so good you said, that's so important in friendship.
Lydia
Yeah.
Freddie
Okay. Mine is. It's actually funny that you asked that, because I'd been wrestling through this scripture and just kind of, like, meditating on it, but it's from this story of Mary and Elizabeth, and it really Stuck out to me when I was reading it earlier this year of how, like, when Mary went to Elizabeth and Mary was pregnant and Elizabeth was pregnant, and how Elizabeth was happy for Mary that she was pregnant and not jealous. So it's funny that you said that, because it can. Mine kind of came from that, too. Of like, she wasn't jealous. And I just thought of, like, man, how easy would it have been for Elizabeth to go, why didn't I get the savior? Like, I had to wait this long, and she's 14 and she gets the savior of the world, and I just get, like, a normal baby. Like, I was like, I would probably be thinking these things of, like, what in the world? Like, why do I not get a bigger blessing? Because I had to wait longer. And it just made me think of, like, how beautiful it is that she didn't compare her life. She was so happy for Mary, and Mary was just as happy for her.
Sadie Robertson
So cool.
Freddie
And I was like, man, I just. I don't want that comparison in my friendships. Like, whether that's a great thing. Like, that's. It's like, I'm sitting here looking at all of you, and, like, every single one of you have really incredible gifts and really great things you're doing for the Lord. And it's like, it would be so easy to go, oh, well, God, why don't you give me that gift? Like, how come I don't have that? But it's like, no, I have what you given me, and it's so good, too. But it's so easy to just, like, take the good and look at it from a negative lens and, like, an envious lens and a comparison lens. And that's really challenged me to go, okay, wait, Like, I wanna. So that's my out. But then my in is like, I want to, like, just be that encourager and that, like, supportive friend. Even more so to be like, man, that. That thing you're doing, that gift you have is really cool without feeling that, like, competitiveness. That comparison in my own spir.
Sadie Robertson
Carry you on, yeah, yeah, that is so good. It made me think of a verse I wanted to pull up, because I feel like when I think back to my life, that is something that took me so long to overcome is, like, that comparison and just learning to champion your friends and not letting what they have as a gift take away from what your gift is. And I remember walking out with Christian one time feeling jealous of a person 100% because I was comparing myself to her and being like, hey, I just want to tell you I'm comparing myself to this person. I hate that I'm doing that because it's making me look for flaws in her. That's not fair to her. Wrong of me. And you even notice with your tone, when you talk about somebody, you'll be neg. Like, you'll spin it negative, and you're like, this is horrible, you know? And, like, you got to stop yourself because it's, like, not fair to anyone. But we're all subject to that if you're not on top of it, if you're not hurting yourself and being confident. But one of my friends sent me this the other day, and I was like, oh, that is so good. It was Second Corinthians 10:12, and it said, not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves, but when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. I was like, man, even the Bible calls that out. Like, back in the day of, like, when they started comparing themselves in the church, like, you don't. You. You don't even have understanding. Like, you're not thinking right. You're not looking at it right. I just love that. I think that's so important for friendship. We were talking about this the other day. The Bible is like, it's so interesting because I was talking about that verse, like, love your neighbor as yourself. It's so important to love yourself. We have to, like, value who we are as people. And then there's like, other verses that it's like, do not have any selfish ambition. Like, do not think of yourself as better than others. Do not like. And so there's like a fine line of, like, seeing yourself rightly before the Lord. And I think, like, before the Lord is the key.
Brittany
Yeah.
Sadie Robertson
Because you're not looking at. Compared to others. Because I think when you look compared to others, you either think of yourself too highly or you. You think yourself too low. It's like, well, I don't have hair like that. I don't look like that. I don't have gift like that. I don't have a lifestyle like that, that or, okay, I'm better than her because of this, this, and this. And you're trying to find confidence, but you won't find it like that because especially in the world, social media, there will always be someone prettier. There will always be someone more gifted in the area that you are. There will always, like, you're always going to find that that's what you're looking for. Or you can look the opposite way and always feel better. But I feel like when you see yourself before the Lord, you see yourself as you're intended to be. Like a daughter. Loved, valuable, treasured. But not. Not puffed up, not arrogant. Not. And like when you see yourself before the Lord, you position yourself to be a good friend.
Brittany
Yeah.
Sadie Robertson
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Lydia
Yeah, Okay. I kind. I want to read two, and I kind of want to, like, talk about both of them a little bit, too. The first one is First John 1:9, and it says, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. And I think that's like the main. The main part, and that's like the first part to the freedom. But in this, talking about, like, the freedom that comes also when you confess to your friends, you know, like you said earlier, Sadie, there's one of the things that I confessed to this group my first week of my tears that came, you know, and the heart pounding. I just remember thinking to myself, even before that, that day, I was thinking, well, God already knows this, you know? And I was like, he already knows this. My husband already knows this. And so do they really need to know this? You know? And I just remember that was what I kept. That was what I kept telling myself was, well, God knows this. My husband knows this, so why do my friends need to know this? But then why was my heart pounding? You know, why was my. Why did the tears come into my eyes when we were still in the fun part? Sadie looks up and she's like, lydia, why you crying? And that was the first thing I said, was I said, y'all really don't need to know this. About me, but I want y'all to know this about me, because I believe that there's freedom on the other side of y'all knowing this about me. And it was not fun, and it wasn't what I wanted to do, and those. And it was true. Like, I had experienced freedom in the Lord because I had confessed this. I had told him, I had talked to him, I'd cried to him, you know, but I didn't. I had never experienced the freedom on the other side of that, of actually letting my people in to fully know me, you know, and then that goes to the second verse, which is James 5:16, and that says, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. And I feel like that's what I experienced that day was, you know, like I said, God knew me, my husband even knew me. But for my friends to know me and to pray for me and to love me despite what it was, you know, that was a healing that I hadn't experienced yet. And it was a healing that I had longed for, you know, and I experienced that also when I experienced, like, when I told my husband I experienced that also then. But it was just a healing to see. My community knows me and they love me. And that's what I always say now after experiencing that is. And I hope. Because the whole point of this podcast isn't. And you said it as a joke before, Sadie, you're like, y'all don't confess on here now. Like, you don't have to say it on here, because the point isn't that you need to confess everything to everyone, you know. I think our point is everything doesn't need to be known by everybody, but everything should be known by somebody, you know, and there's so much freedom to.
Brittany
Be found in that.
Sadie Robertson
Matt Chandler said, if you're 99% known, you're unknown. Like, if you. If there's a 1% of you that no one knows, you're going to feel unknown. And you're going to think, if someone knew that about me, then they wouldn't love you. It's really hard to experience, like, true love when you don't feel like you're truly known, but when you are, it's amazing. And I can testify to that verse because when I shared that that day, I was honestly just really struggling. And it had been months and months and months of struggling and silent, not sharing it with anyone, not sharing it with Christian, not. Not. Like, I just thought, this is the thing. I'm not going to Tell it does my 100%. And I would think about Matt Chandler's sermon, I'd be like. And I would tell the Lord. And then I read those verses. I'd be like, well, I confess to you, Lord, so, like, can you heal me? Why don't you just me? And why won't. Can this just be over? You know? And then I remember, even when I told y'all, I did everything to try to not do this. Like, I tried to fix this in every way, but to have to say this to y'all. And what is so cool is when I confess that day and I shared it with Christian. I am. I do not struggle with that anymore. And I literally was healed of it. And I'm. I'm, like, smiling because I'm like, I didn't expect that to happen. I actually didn't think it was going to get better. I really didn't know that that was going to heal me. I thought, okay, this is a part of the process. And for some people, I'm not saying that is the only thing that's going to heal you. You might need counseling. You might need therapy. There might be things that come along with your confession. But in my circumstance, that verse, I can truly testify and say I am healed. And I had that thought the other day. I was like, man, my mind is so free of that. I can't believe I struggled with that for so long, and it's not a thing anymore. But then I read that verse, and, like, but you said it wouldn't be. You know. And when we had Christian Stanfield and Phil Wilkinson here recently, and I asked him, I said, how do you carry the balance of, like, leading worship? Actually, Christian asked it when I had the same question written down. How do you carry the balance of leading worship so globally, but being human and knowing, like, you're making mistakes? Like, do you ever feel like a hypocrite for, like, leading when you're struggling? And they both said, confession is so real. They said, we'll confess to our friends before, and we'll be healed. They said, Christian said, sometimes I'll walk back, like, while the drums are playing, like, while I'm on stage and be like, lord, I'm going to confess this to you and believe I'm healed right now in Jesus. Like, I don't want to think this thought. I don't want to have this feeling. And he said, and I'll literally be free. Like, I'll walk up there. And so, like, it's not just, like, verses. Scripture is active and alive. This is who God is. When you step into that, you experience the freedom that's on the other side that's promised. And it's. It's amazing.
Brittany
Yeah, it's good.
Freddie
I remember the day that you shared. I think it was a Monday. I can't remember. But, like, Lydia said, it was, like, a ripple effect. We all were, like, having these conversations of, like, wow. We all just feel so much more, like, yeah, this was the missing piece. But Grace and I, like, said the same thing in passing, because I think we were at the Hub, and we both were like, we just feel like we know Sadie so much better. And then you said the same thing. Like, I just feel like I know everyone so much better. But it was like, when you know those deep things about someone, you know them better, and you feel more comfortable with them, and you feel more safe with them, to have more fun with them. But I think, for me, I am a deep person, right? Like, I'm a counselor. Of course I like depth. I like to go there. But I was so convinced that people didn't want that because no one else started it. So I was so convinced that, like, oh, well, that was just, like, I need to keep that to myself. Like, the depth going there, having those, like, intense conversations. And I wish Bella was here, because I would laugh with her about, like, one time I asked her, like, a really obvious question, and she, like, made fun of me. Cause she was like, I literally, you know what the answer was? And I was like, no, I just, like, I want to know. And the answer she gave was different than what I thought. And so it's funny because it's like, if you just ask those questions, if you just put it out there, if you, like, not be so uptight about how it's perceived. I think, like, when you have that depth, you know someone so much better, you feel more comfortable with them than you can share. And then you have this healing that's just, like, layered, and you get to confess it again and again and again with the people that you trust and, you know, and it's like, healing is continual. That's something, like, we really preach in therapy. It's like, you don't just say it once, and then, like, it's. It's done for good. Like, you have to continue to heal because something new will come up about it that you didn't realize. Exactly. And so it's cool to hear you say that, Lydia, because it's like, yeah, of course it felt different to, like, say it to Reebs. And God versus your friends. Because it's like this is, this is different. This is, these are your girls. And so it's just cool to hear you say that.
Brittany
And.
Sadie Robertson
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Brittany
Despite what you all might think, we have not ran out of things to confess yet.
Sadie Robertson
Absolutely not. Someone KN some weeks will be like, okay, that was kind of a chill week. And then like the next day it'll be something because life happens. Like two mamas said this earlier. She said, even out of it, even at its best, life is hard. Like you're just going to go through hard things. Like even in the greatest moments, like there will be something in life that's.
Brittany
Just a little challenging.
Sadie Robertson
It's a part of life. You know, I remember just in early 20s to later 20s, like thinking I've realized in life that almost like every season there's a bitter and a sweet, like there's something really sweet about it and there's something a little bit hard about it. And that's just part of life and growing but ready. I love what you said. And to say that y'all feel like you knew me so much better. It's so cool, because when I look back at just me in general and my personal growth, like, I truly. Like, I know I didn't let people know me. Like, I know that I knew that. I always just like. Like to keep it fun, like, to keep it light. Like, to have deep conversations about things of life, but not me personally. Like, to talk about the hard things about my life that were obvious to people. Like, okay, you can ask me that, because that's obviously. But, like, there's, like, a deeper thing. And it's interesting because in podcasting, when I started podcasting, one of the reasons I wanted to start a podcast was I felt like everyone always ask famous people the obvious questions about them. Like, you ask them the obvious thing that they're showing you, but there's something in everyone's life that's not obvious or why is it obvious? Why is that their life? What. What could that have? What could have been the start of that? What's the personal side of that? What. Why did they get there? You know? And I feel like we've been able to have so many open and honest conversations on this podcast because of that thought process of, like, don't just ask them the obvious question. Don't ask them the question every other podcast is asking them on their PR run. Like, study their life, pray about them. Like, see what the Lord wants to ask. But in doing that, I also. I didn't let people do that for me, you know? And now I do, because I'm like, I lived in a deep fear of, if they knew this, would they think I shouldn't be, like, preaching the gospel, or I shouldn't be, like, doing what I'm doing or whatever. But then I think that that's a really big problem in the church, that leaders present themselves as perfect, and that's not realistic, and it's not even what the Bible says. It's like, leadership Present themselves that you need a savior and that you're constantly. My life is free. And, yeah, you're gonna follow the Lord with everything in your heart. You're gonna be a disciple of Christ, but you're gonna make mistakes, and you got to get back up and be honest about it, you know? So I love that you said that, because it's true. I did not let people know me like that. And what a gift it is to. To be known like that. So cool. Elise, I know you had a verse.
Grace
Yes. And I was thinking when y'all were talking, too, like, it kind of goes with the verse. But what I kept hearing in my head was like, say it so you don't sit in it. And I don't know why that just popped in my head. But what I mean by that is, when you say it and you bring it to life, the more you say something, the more you believe it. Well, let me jump back a little bit. Say it so you don't sit in it. Okay. If you sit in it, then you become content in it. And I believe what confession is is bringing something from darkness into the light. But when you sit in it, then you're gonna get content. You're gonna say, it's not that big of a deal. Or you might talk yourself out of it for whatever reason we give, but once say it out loud, there's freedom because you're bringing it from the darkness into the light. And that's what this verse is saying. It's in Ephesians and it says, instead, bring them out to the light. And you skip down a little bit and it says, and when all things are brought out to the light, then their true nature is clearly revealed. For anything that is clearly revealed becomes light. And I just love the wording in that because it's saying once you clearly reveal something, once you speak it, once you say it out loud, you reveal what's going on, then it's in the light. And when it's in the darkness, like just in general, darkness can be scary. And when you're in darkness, you're not seen. You can't be seen. You can't see in front of you. You can't see what's going on. But when you bring it to the light, then you are seeing what we keep talking about being known. That's from bringing things from the darkness to light. So when you say it, there's power in that because it's released, it's out there. There's people that can pray you through it. But also, I was thinking about what you are saying, believing for it. I even said one time when we were in group, I was like, I just think I've gotten so. Like, I've just gotten the mindset of this is just how it's going to be. Like, I literally have in my mind said, maybe this is how life is now. Or maybe this is just like, if I'm struggling with this, that's just what it's going to be. And, you know, it's just this one thing, so maybe it's okay. And I was like, no, I don't want to ever Be okay with sin, okay with sitting in this. Like, I want to be in a position because I'm kind of putting God in a box. I'm saying, well, then you can't actually fix this guy.
Sadie Robertson
What is hope? You know, Like, I'm just going to.
Grace
Sit in this, but when I bring it out loud. And then I said, I'm also telling y'all this because I want y'all to hold me accountable. I want people to, like, check back with me on this. And so I want to bring this out of the darkness. I want to bring this into the light. I want y'all to know these things so that you can hold me accountable, that I can be held to a higher standard, because that's what I want. I don't want to be complacent in this. I don't want to just be able to sit in my sin, sit in my struggles and say, well, that's just.
Sadie Robertson
How life is good. I think for me, I remember the fear of being like, well, I can handle this one. I can handle this. This is too much of a burden for someone else to know or for someone else to handle. I just want to fix this myself. And it's like, good luck. Like, you can try to handle it, but you're going to be up against the enemy. Like, you're up against, like, a real enemy. You're up against some strong forces. And so, like, yeah, try to handle that by yourself. See how it goes. It doesn't go well. It is so much easier to walk through it with friends. And the beautiful thing is it's actually not their burden to carry. Like, it's God's burden to carry. Like, you're putting the burden on Jesus. So when I share my burdens with you guys, I'm confessing it, believing, healing. Y'all are. Y'all are sharing it with me. But, like, it didn't hurt y'all to hear my thing. Like, it. It actually helped heal me. Y'all prayed with me, y'all believed with me. You spoke life into me, and the Lord had it. You know, it was God's to carry. And so I think sometimes we think, like, oh, this could be such a burden, or whatever. It's like, no, it. You're carrying the burden that is actually God's, like, he will carry for you and let friends in to lighten it a little bit, because they have the capacity to carry it with. With you in a way that you don't. You know, like, it's too much. And so I think that's been such a gift. It's like, you're so scared. What is. You know, And. But it's like, man, no, don't be scared. Like, be scared to sit in it. Like, that's the scary part. Be scared to fight it alone. That's the hard part.
Brittany
And I love how at the end it says that it becomes light because not, like, I will say, as much as my own confession has been valuable to me, like, equally has hearing everyone else's. Because then I even called Elise after the last one, and I was like, like, thank you for saying. Because now I also have this confidence of, like, if I'm ever in your shoes, even remotely, I know I can call you and be like, oh, my gosh.
Sadie Robertson
Like, what do I do in a game changer? You know, Like.
Brittany
And even when I shared one of the weeks, Sadie was like, oh, been there. Like, you're gonna get through this. You know, like, we need people in different spots than we're currently into. And that's equally as beneficial of, like, learning from each other and hearing other people's not just my own confession. So that's again, why I said, like, do it with people who are willing to do it with you. Because, you know, it's. I don't think it'd be nearly as beneficial if you shared one time and none of us ever opened up one.
Freddie
It's funny.
Sadie Robertson
Don't talk about it. Most of the time when you share, odds are someone else has gone through it and is going through it or can just relate to it on a human level or will. Most of the time, it's met with that. I remember one time, a long time ago, I was confessing something to a mentor that felt really big for. For me, and she went and she held that hand. I was like, oh, dear. Her reaction made me feel like, has no one said that to you? Like, have you never heard that? Okay. Keeping that one in the box forever. Say, as you listen to people confess, see, like, treasure it. You know, it's a gift for someone to be vulnerable with you. What is. Brene Brown says it's so good.
Freddie
She says vulnerability breeds vulnerability.
Sadie Robertson
Yes. And it's the. What did you say? It's the gateway way to like. But. But if vulnerability is not met with empathy, she says it's the door to shame. Like, that's so true. When you're vulnerable and it's not met with an empathetic response, then you feel shameful.
Brittany
Absolutely.
Sadie Robertson
You're vulnerable, and it's met with empathy and love. It is like a gateway for joy and for love and for freedom. And so, friend, I hope this helped you as you listen today. And like we said, we never experienced this in this type of way. And not because other friends weren't willing, but because for me, I was afraid. I hadn't pushed myself in that area until I got to the point where I was very desperate. I was like, I don't want to carry this alone anymore. So maybe you're out there carrying that. Maybe your heart's pounding even listening to this. Maybe today's the day that you call a friend, call your mom, call a mentor, go to lunch, set up a meeting. Like I said, you can hang out with friends all the time. But when you set an intentional time to talk about, maybe it's confession or do a Bible study or bring the Lord into it, you will be amazed what happens in the conversations that spark. So thank you all so much for being so vulnerable in this conversation and all of our confession hours. I love you guys. Love you, love.
WHOA That's Good Podcast: Episode Summary
Title: Confessing My Deepest Struggles to My Friends
Host: Sadie Robertson Huff
Release Date: March 17, 2025
In this heartfelt episode, Sadie Robertson Huff delves into the transformative power of confession within friendships. Joined by her close friends Brittany, Grace, Lydia, and Freddie, Sadie explores how creating a safe space for vulnerability has deepened their relationships and fostered mutual growth.
[03:37] Brittany:
"We just think we were doing Bible study... it turned into something entirely different."
Sadie recounts the genesis of their Confession Hour, which began as a regular Bible study session. Inspired by their husbands' commitment to weekly discipline, the group sought to emulate this in a more flexible setting that accommodated their busy lives as mothers.
[04:45] Freddie:
"I was convicted to use my friends as a place of confession... Sadie, I just feel like I need to share."
Freddie initiated the first confession by sharing a personal struggle, setting a precedent for openness. Sadie admits that this was a new experience for her, revealing deep-seated fears about vulnerability and judgment.
[05:36] Sadie Robertson:
"I have never been like, here's what I'm presently struggling with internally... It was really honest and it was really real."
The initial session was emotionally charged, leading to Sadie sharing her mental struggles in real-time—something she had never done before with her friends. This act of vulnerability unlocked a new level of trust and intimacy within the group.
[10:03] Grace:
"Confession is not that hard when you realize it's actually Kingdom work."
Grace highlights the shift in perspective from seeing confession as a burden to viewing it as an act of faith and community strengthening.
[12:17] Freddie:
"The wall that you're talking about... it's like, no, I can start it too."
Freddie emphasizes the importance of initiating vulnerability, noting that it encourages others to open up, thus creating a ripple effect of honesty and support.
[16:58] Brittany:
"It truly was a ripple effect... I didn't even know what I was missing."
Brittany reflects on how witnessing her friends' vulnerability inspired her to share her own struggles, leading to a collective healing experience.
[24:15] Sadie Robertson:
"I will call one of y'all... because our friendship is way more fun now."
Sadie shares how the Confession Hour has not only deepened their bonds but also enhanced their enjoyment of each other's company, proving that vulnerability enriches rather than detracts from relationships.
[43:24] Lydia:
"First John 1:9... James 5:16."
Lydia brings in Scripture to underscore the importance of confession, citing verses that advocate for honesty and mutual support in overcoming personal struggles.
[57:27] Grace:
"Say it so you don't sit in it... there's power in that because you're releasing it out there."
Grace introduces the concept of speaking out struggles to avoid internalizing them, aligning with the group's practice of confession as a means to empowerment and healing.
[57:51] Sadie Robertson:
"Don't be scared to fight it alone... friends can help carry it with you."
Sadie advises listeners to seek support rather than bearing burdens in isolation, reaffirming the episode's central theme of communal healing through shared vulnerability.
[60:56] Sadie Robertson:
"Vulnerability is the gateway to joy and love... it's met with empathy and love."
Sadie emphasizes the necessity of empathy in responding to vulnerability, warning against its potential to breed shame if not met with understanding and support.
Sadie wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to initiate their own Confession Hours, highlighting the profound freedom and deeper connections that come from genuine honesty within friendships.
Key Takeaways:
Notable Quotes:
This episode serves as a compelling testament to the power of authentic communication and the pivotal role it plays in nurturing meaningful, resilient friendships.