Finding Joy In Unimaginable Grief | Sadie Robertson Huff | Lauren Johnson

Summary

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WHOA That’s Good Podcast

Episode Title: Finding Joy In Unimaginable Grief

Host: Sadie Robertson Huff
Guest: Lauren Johnson
Date: May 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the profound journey of Lauren Johnson—a Nashville-based nurse, founder of Choose Joy Nursing, and bereaved mother—as she shares her testimony of experiencing unimaginable grief with the loss of her infant daughter, Lily Ann. Together with host Sadie Robertson Huff, Lauren unpacks what it means to find joy amidst suffering, the role faith plays in her resilience, and practical encouragement for moms in all seasons. The episode also covers Lauren’s background, her unique ministry for new mothers, and actionable resources for listeners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Lauren’s Background and the Birth of Choose Joy Nursing

[02:37–07:57]

• Lauren’s Early Passion:
  • Grew up in Nashville; lifelong love for nurturing babies and serving families through nursing.
  • Volunteered in church nurseries, became a nanny, then pursued nursing at Lipscomb University.
• Professional Journey:
  • Experience ranged from hospital mother-baby care to private nursing and high school nursing positions.
  • God called her to meet a gap by starting Choose Joy Nursing—an explicitly Christian service for in-home and virtual mother-baby and sleep training support.
  • Quote:

    “If I’m gonna do this, I’m doing this with Him. I’m not doing this alone.” — Lauren [04:46]

The Birth of a Family & Navigating Early Marriage

[08:01–12:25]

• Meeting Her Husband:
  • Mutual friend set-up during a Uganda mission trip; their love story unfolds with intentionality and humor.
  • Lauren shares relatable perspectives on modern dating, surrender, and the importance of trusting God's plan.
  • Quote:

    “You can make some plans, but you gotta keep giving it to the Lord. And He establishes those steps.” — Sadie [11:33]

Savoring Marriage and the Call to Motherhood

[14:23–18:14]

• Deliberate Delay:

  • Lauren, despite a lifelong desire for motherhood, sensed God’s prompting to savor early marriage.
  • Weekly intentional date nights and prioritizing their bond, not rushing into children immediately.
  • God's Preparation:

    “Looking back, once again, that was the Lord in his kindness, preparing our hearts, preparing our marriage for what we were about to walk through.” — Lauren [14:37]

• Pregnancy and Planning:

  • Joyful and grateful pregnancy; carefully planned for postpartum with faith-led business risk-taking.
  • Prepared to take a real maternity leave (“12 weeks of uninterrupted baby snuggles”) and equipped her business for her absence.

The Birth of Lily Ann & Immediate Crisis

[18:14–21:40]

• Labor and Delivery:

  • Induced at 42 weeks, surprise gender (girl!), named Lily Ann—meaning rooted in faith and God’s provision.
  • Initial bliss quickly shattered by medical emergency at home; daughter found dangerously cold, leading to emergency room visit hours after discharge.

• Descent into Medical Crisis:

  • Lily Ann was diagnosed with citrullinemia, a rare genetic disorder that prevents protein breakdown.
  • The baby lapsed into a coma-like state due to toxic ammonia buildup.

Grief, Surrender, and Living Faith

[25:08–35:01]

• Hospital Ordeal:
  • Lauren and her husband endured harrowing decisions, with Lauren’s medical knowledge providing both clarity and heartache.
  • Wrestling with surrender:

    “I’m having to surrender her over to the Lord. Like, she’s His. She’s really not mine.” — Lauren [25:37]

  • Transparently shared their struggle publicly on social media, inviting national prayer, and tangibly felt the spiritual support.
  • Decision to forego further invasive measures—prioritizing Lily Ann’s comfort—brought her home on hospice.
• Savoring Final Months:
  • Lily Ann spent nine precious months at home, loved and cherished, even making developmental strides despite her diagnosis.
  • Quote:

    “She was blowing raspberries and touching our face and just doing all the sweet, like, ‘I love you’... it was so sweet.” — Lauren [32:52]

  • Lily Ann passed away at nine months old, on April 6th.

The Presence of God in Grief

[38:31–41:57]

• Sustained by Faith:
  • Lauren attributes her endurance to God’s provision, not her own strength.
  • Anchored in the promise of heaven—her faith, cultivated since childhood, became her lifeline.
  • Memorable Vision:

    “I hear and, like, see Lily Ann’s big, shiny face saying, ‘He is. He is, Mommy. He is [everything].’ And I lost it… she’s so good. Like, she’s in His glory.” — Lauren [40:44]

• God’s Surpassing Peace:
  • Gratitude for God’s encompassing presence through the global prayers and tangible ministry from her community.
  • Quote:

    “Wild. He is who He says He is.” — Lauren [41:45]

Encouragement for Moms & Parenting Resources

[46:37–55:39]

• Words for Moms:

  • You are enough. God made you for your child—lean into calm, co-regulation, and faith over striving or anxiety.
  • The Holy Spirit counsels, comforts, and equips mothers, empowering them to surrender control and receive grace.
  • Quote:

    “You don’t have to parent alone—the Holy Spirit is our counselor, our comforter, our help.” — Lauren [47:41]

• Practical Advice:

  • Even if your parenting journey started with anxiety or mistakes, it’s never too late to transform through the power of God.
  • Sadie’s Vulnerability:

    “I did struggle with that. ...And actually, I’ll be vulnerable. I remember the pediatrician saying to me, ‘She’s affected by your anxiety.’” — Sadie [49:12]

  • Grace for parents in every stage; change—both in children and parents—is possible through surrender and support.

• Choose Joy Nursing Resources:

  • Choose Joy Nursing App: Free to download, with resources, blogs, videos, and a nurse-trained AI chatbot to answer questions day or night. [50:20]
  • Baby 101 Course: Prepares parents for pregnancy, postpartum, and newborn care (feeding, swaddling, sleep, mental health, and more).
  • In-Person and Virtual Services: Available for families nationwide (and internationally), including live-in and local Nashville-based support from trained nurses, sleep specialists, and lactation consultants.
  • Instagram: @ChooseJoyNursing—Ongoing encouragement, personal testimony, and expert support.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Grief and Surrender:

  “I’m having to surrender her over to the Lord. Like, she’s His. She’s really not mine.” — Lauren [25:37]

• The Power of Community Prayer:

  “We felt the prayers. Well, then the doctor calls at the same time… so, like, the Lord just orchestrated it beautifully and perfectly for us to get the answers we needed.” — Lauren [28:46]

• On Faith Through Loss:

  “He is who He says He is, and He is with you in those hard moments… I don’t even feel like I can take credit for my faith.” — Lauren [38:31]

• Heaven as Hope:

  “Heaven is our goal. Heaven is what we’re living for. There’s nothing this side of heaven I’m more excited about than heaven. And so I’m so excited for her. As sad as we are to not have her here on this side of earth... she is in the goodness of God and in His glory.” — Lauren [44:35]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:37: Lauren’s background and founding Choose Joy Nursing
• 09:08: Lauren & Wilson’s unique love story and perspective on dating
• 14:23: Marriage, sensing God’s preparation, and pregnancy
• 18:14: Lily Ann’s birth; crisis unfolds
• 21:40: Hospital ordeal, diagnosis, and surrender
• 31:28–32:52: Hospice, savoring precious moments with Lily Ann
• 34:58: Lily Ann’s passing at 9 months
• 38:31: Faith, Holy Spirit, and God’s sustaining presence
• 46:37: Encouragement and practical parenting advice
• 50:20–55:39: Choose Joy Nursing resources and ways for listeners to receive support

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Final Encouragement & Where to Find Resources

• For Moms:
  • Your value is intrinsic—no striving needed. Pursue God, invite the Holy Spirit’s counsel, and know you are equipped for your child’s needs.
  • Grace covers all stages and all struggles; it's never too late to change.
• Resources:
  • Download the Choose Joy Nursing app for support, guidance, and encouragement.
  • Check out the Baby 101 Course and in-person/virtual services via Choose Joy Nursing’s website and Instagram (@ChooseJoyNursing).

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Tone and Takeaway

The conversation is deeply vulnerable, authentic, and faith-filled, blending personal heartbreak with hope. Both Sadie and Lauren maintain warmth and encouragement throughout, modeling the power of testimony—that even in unimaginable loss, God is faithful, present, and able to turn mourning into a legacy of joy-filled ministry.

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If you or someone you know is navigating new motherhood, grief, or just needs encouragement, this episode is a testament to resilience and finding joy through surrender.

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Transcript

[A]

Girl, winter is so last season and now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders that perfect hang on the patio sundress those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done. Hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic.

[B]

Ready to soundtrack your summer with Red Bull Summer All Day Play. You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit red bull.com brightsummer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. What's up? Everybody happy? Well, that's good Wednesday. I hope you're having a great week, but to everyone out there, it is about to get so much better. We have such an incredible guest on the podcast today. I have been following along her journey from afar for a long time, social media friends if you will. And she sent me a casual dm. Like, I'd love to help some moms out if you ever want, just even an ad on your podcast for what I do. Because she does this amazing thing called Choose Joy Nursing. And I was like, okay, yes. But more than that, can you come on the podcast and share your testimony who you are? Help mom is out there. And so this podcast is definitely gonna help moms, but it's really for everybody. We just believe in the power of testimonies and her testimony can speak to anyone no matter what season of life you're in. So we have Lauren Johnson all the way here in Monroe, Louisiana. Welcome to Monroe.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. This is so fun.

[B]

It's so cool. I'm truly so glad you're here. I told this I've loved following you. I've been so inspired by your life, been invested in your life. Christian and I have prayed for you. And so to see you in here today, I was just like, hey, as if we've known each other forever. And I thought, oh, well, I guess this is the first time we've met. But just you are a joy. Like, you're such a joy to follow and to learn from. And I'm so thankful for how you've chosen to share your life on social media because you did not have to share some of the hard aspects of your life and all of it. But I just want to say thank you for it. Before we get into all of. Can you just tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do, where you're from, all the things?

[A]

Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for all the kind words and prayers. We have felt them tremendously. That's why I felt like I knew you too, because it's like you just know when people are praying for you. It's just like there's an instant bond and connection. But, yeah. So, Lauren Johnson, I'm born and raised in Nashville, Tennessee. I've been there my whole life, which has actually ended up being such a blessing for all the connections and ways I've got to, like, love and serve families in Nashville. Grew up in the Baptist church, volunteering in the church nursery. So of course I started babysitting at, like, such a young age as, like, a mother's helper. Always loved babies, always loved helping moms, and then went to nursing school at Lipscomb University. So truly never left. Loved Lipscomb. It was such a great experience. And then got to be a nurse. I was a private nanny at first and then went to get hospital experience. I was like, this is so great. I've nannied forever and I love it. And they wanted a nurse, but I also wanted to get that hospital experience. Worked in the hospital and then got offered a sweet job at a high school, which was incredible. But missed the mother baby aspect from the hospital. And so started helping moms at night. Like, when everyone was asleep, I was like, I'll come help you at night. Like, I'll bring you your baby to nurse or I'll give a bottle.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And then the Lord really kept putting, like, I didn't have a name yet, but, like, you can make. This could be a job. Like, you can help women. Like, more than just one at a time. And I, quite frankly, was like, no, thanks. One. One at a time is plenty. Like, it's a lot to like to show up and hold space for, you know, another person and meet them where they're at. And, like, postpartum's hard, as, you know,

[B]

like, so hard and seems vulnerable.

[A]

So vulnerable. So anyway, just felt like the Lord kept opening doors and having people speak it into me. People, hold my hand, start an LLC. Hold my hand, start a QuickBooks account. I was like, okay, we're doing this. We're starting a company.

[B]

Have you seen someone el Else do that? Like, a company like that that you were inspired by?

[A]

Yes. There are other companies in Nashville. So actually, the. I was just giving out their numbers. I was like, this person's great. They're all owned by great women. I was like, this person's great. This person's great. Here's a phone number. And what ended up happening is they'd all text me back and say, they're full, they're full, they're full. So I was like, okay. The Lord's clearly telling me there's still room at the table.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I wanted to. In some ways, I felt like making myself like a known Christian company. Like, we're going to pray over your babies. We're praying for you by name. Like, I'm writing these moms names down in my prayer journal. Like, I was like, that's how I'm. If I'm gonna do this, I'm doing this, like, with him. I'm not doing this alone. And with, like, support. He has put the right people in our corner and in our business and has just really. He has opened doors in ways that just blow my mind. But, yeah. So I own Choose Joy Nursing. We do in home mother baby care and virtual sleep training services.

[B]

I'm totally signing up for after this. I didn't know it was virtual, so I've been looking at all of the places y' all are at, and I'm like, I don't think they're probably gonna open a Monroe branch anytime soon. I am totally gonna be your virtual girl.

[A]

When you were in 38, I'm like, we should have sent some nurses.

[B]

I know. I'm changing. Yeah. Now. Now that I know, we're definitely locking in.

[A]

Yeah. So we have virtual services and support moms all over the place. It's actually so cool. We even had one from a different country one time, so on different time zone and everything. And she was so wonderful. Like, I'm gonna take what serves me and leave what doesn't. Because she actually, you know, their culture is different, and they wanted a bed share, which is not. I'm a registered nurse by degree, so, like, not what I'm trained in, not what. So it's okay. To each their own. Right? Like, I don't judge anybody for how they choose to sleep, but I don't. I don't know the safe way to do that. So I'm teaching safe sleep, meaning alone on your back in a crib or bassinet, but, like, alone on your back in a crib. And so that's why I teach. But she still took our resource, like, all my education and our resources and what we teach and made it work for her. So they weren't nursing all throughout the night, but they still got to bed share however they did it. And I was like, that's amazing. You know, it was so sweet. So it's been a blessing to get them meet moms where they're at all over the world apparently.

[B]

That is so cool. I love how God put stuff in us as a little kid. And it's like, you're like, okay, well, I love being, you know, a mom. I love taking care of babies. I love nursing. And then you think, I'm gonna have to choose what that's gonna be at some point. But if God put all those things in you, it's amazing how he uses all of that and how this comes together. And you're like, whoa, I would have never thought that I'd start this business. But then you look back and you're like, but of course I would, you

[A]

know, like, oh, yes. The pictures of me as a kid, my birthday parties, I can't remember how old I was turning. I wanted it to be a full blown baby shower. My mom's like, are you sure? I was like, yes. I want there to be clothes brought to me for my baby dolls. So we did the monogram chocolate wrappers. We did the water, you know, the water balls with the wrapper and the baby's names. Welcome. Benjamin and Bailey or whatever. My baby doll's name were Britney and Bailey.

[B]

Epic.

[A]

It was like I was obsessed with babies from a young age. Oh, pictures of me as a kid with bouncy balls in my shirt, wanting to pretend to be pregnant. Hysterical. So looking back, we have laughed, but it's like, no. God's so intentional. Because I didn't think I wanted to be a business owner. I thought I wanted to be a nurse. And I remember saying I went to nurs saying, you know, I want to be a stay at home mom one day, but this will make me a better mom. Like, how often do you need your nursing skills as a mom? Like, that's why I went to nursing school. I was like, it'll make me a better mom. And then the Lord's like, oh, I have so much more in mind. Yeah. It has been so wild. So it's so cool to now see it come, like full circle, circle and get to love on babies, love on moms, Use my education to empower women. That's so cool.

[B]

It's amazing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So when did you start that?

[A]

2021. 2020. I was fully doing it full time, but started the company and like hiring nurses in 2021.

[B]

That's awesome. And then were you married at the time?

[A]

No.

[B]

How did you meet your husband?

[A]

So met my husband through a mutual friend, which was also just. The Lord is so intentional in all of it. Like, I can see how he's gone before me in my business and my marriage with the birth of my daughter, like this pregnancy with everything. But anyway, so met him through mutual friend. She had brought him up. We were on a mission trip in Uganda and we're wide awake at 3 in the morning. You awake? Yep. You awake? Can't sleep. And she was like. I was like, okay, I wanna, I wanna talk about boys. Is of course what I said. I'm like. I said, who are your boyfriend? Single friends. And she was like, okay. So we get on Instagram, she starts showing me a single friends. We're like, cute, cute, cute. Like, but he has this like long term on and off girlfriend. This one's about to get engaged probably this one's single. And I was like, well, he's cute. But she. I was like, tell me more. Lived in Atlanta for work and was younger. And I was like, oh, he's probably trying to have fun. He's so cute. Was a football player in college. I was like, there's no. Like, he's probably just trying to have fun. So blew him off. Like, didn't even like even tell her I was interested. Anyway, well then a whole year later she brings him up again.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I was like, this was it that time that I said it. I can't remember. Eventually I was like, you know what this is? It's Covid. I would have to lose. And let's just like see what we think. And I was like, I. I was like, you're it. Like, I was like. From the first date, I was like, so he was just the cutest thing I'd ever seen. I was like, and you're like a sweet gentleman. Like, you're like a good like, like. Anyway, he was so precious. And I was like, he wasn't out trying to have fun. He was like, just waiting patiently. That's it was. Yeah. So she finally gave him my number like years later. And he text me and I felt like the rest is history.

[B]

Wow, that is the best story. Like that should be the new dating app is just looking at your friends and who they're following. And it's like o. Because then you know, like Your friend knows them, and they could vouch for him. That was a good strategy.

[A]

I like it. It was so good. And I was. Back then, I was telling even clients I'd be in their home as their night nurse. I'm like, y' all got any single friends? Like, I was like, I'm praying for a husband, looking for a husband. I'd get on the dating apps. I had no shame. I was like, the Lord can do anything anyway. Like, he can introduce us anyhow. So cool. Yeah. I was open to anything. And then I think the Lord, like, also blessed that too. Like, just being like, whatever. Yeah. I was going on dates. I went on a blind date with somebody, which was fun and it was sweet, but it was, like, also, like, we were all in it for the right reason. So we knew, like, this is so sweet and we'd love to be friends, but, like, just not meant to be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or, like, didn't want to go on a second date. And so then it was just cool.

[B]

That's sweet. I think that, you know, we have so many people ask about dating on here and how to date well, and how do you start dating? And I always say, like, I wish dating was more like that these days, where you could just go on a date and go, oh, it didn't work out, but it's not weird. It's okay. That's.

[A]

I think it still can be that way. I wish.

[B]

I have a lot of friends, actually. I live in Nashville. They go on dates all the time. And I love that because they're just figuring it out, like, who they would. And it's a lot of just, like, recommendations or this person knows this person. Y' all should go meet up. And a lot of it doesn't work out, but it's okay. At least you met someone and, like, you can be a friend. And I think, too, like, there's so much in this day where it's like, we just want to know, like, who's gonna be your husband or what am I gonna do in life. But your story already is like, well, I thought I wanted to be a nurse and just a nurse, because I would be a better mom one day to be a stay at home mom. And I thought that, you know, I was going to. And it's like, you don't know. Like, I love that verse. It's like, the Lord can make. I mean, sorry, man. Can make its plans, but the Lord establishes their steps totally. We quote that on this podcast all the time. But it's so true, because you see that in everybody's life.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

You can make some plans, but, like, you got to keep giving it to the lord. And he establishes those steps.

[A]

Surrender. And that's even about dating. It's like, we really do have to put our pride aside and be okay with somebody not being into us. I think we all want every guy to be into us, but then we get to pick and say no. But it's like, it's good for them to not be into you. Thank you, Lord, for closing that door. We don't need a date. I thought I was gonna marry every boy I dated, so I'm grateful it didn't work out. You know, I'm like, oh, if the Lord put him in my life, he must be it. And then I was so grateful the Lord closed those doors. I was so grateful to go on those dates. And, like, I kept telling myself, this is practice for whenever I do go on a date with my husband, I will be less awkward or I'll know what to say. And I still think that was awkward. But I was like, this is good practice. And I do think it's so important to put our pride aside and surrender that to the Lord. Like, lord, you speak through me. You work here. Like, if this is something that you want me to pursue, make it clear. If it's something you don't want me to pursue, make it clear.

[B]

It's great.

[A]

It's okay for God to tell you no, and it's okay for you to tell him no in a kind way. I don't like the ghosting.

[B]

Yeah, no, we don't need the ghosting.

[A]

No. Just be clear.

[B]

Clear. Clear is kind. Kind is clear. I love that. It's so true. I love it. Okay, I just want to take a second to talk about something that's really been on my heart right now. There's so much noise in the world and so many voices telling people what to do and what to think. But for women facing unplanned pregnancies, the pressure can get really overwhelming really fast. What breaks my heart is that so often they don't even get a moment to slow down, take a breath, and really understand what's happening. And that's why I care so much about preborn, and I want you to know about it. At preborn network clinics, women are met with love and compassion, not pressure. They're actually given a free ultrasound and space just to breathe. For many women, that's the first time that they're going to get to actually see their baby, and it literally changes everything. On top of that, they get to hear about the hope of Jesus, which is so powerful in that moment. And this month, Preborn's goal is to have 11,000 gospel conversations with women who are walking through this. And we actually get to be a part of it, which is so cool. This really hits close to home. I have three daughters, and they mean the whole world to me. And I can't imagine with those pregnancies feeling alone, feeling scared, not knowing the truth. And so this is a community that's going to come around you, that's going to give you the good news of the gospel of Jesus and help you know that you can do this and you don't have to do it alone. And here's this baby that God's blessed you with. So just $28 provides one ultrasound and $140 helps five moms have that amazing moment of seeing their baby and hearing about truth and hope. To donate, dial £250 and say the keyword baby. Again, that's £250 baby. Or visit preborn.comSadie Again, that's preborn.comSadie okay, so let's get into a little bit of your testimony over the past couple years because you and your husband get married, you've obviously always wanted to be a mom. Tell us a little bit about Yalls.

[A]

Jo yeah, so we got married in 2022. And after wanting to be a mom my entire life, I remember it feeling so crazy that for the first time in my life, I didn't want to have kids right away.

[B]

Really.

[A]

I felt like any other, any other season, I would have been like, ready to have kids and meet like, let's get you get married and you have kids. And I was like, I just want to savor this season of being like the two of us. I want to be intentional about our marriage because once you have kids, of course you're still married and it's still good and it's a blessing and all these great things, but that changes the dynamic of your marriage forever. And so I was like, I really want to enjoy him. And I knew he'd be an incredible dad. I knew he'd be hands on. And I was like, I don't want to share him yet. Like, I just want to savor this season of just the two of us. And looking back once again, that was the Lord in his kindness, preparing our hearts, preparing our marriage for what we were about to walk through. But we were so intentional. We did weekly date nights, even though it was just the two of us, all the Time. I was like, no, we're having no tv, no phone date nights with a book with questions. Like, as silly as it may be, he would, like, roll his eyes. But then it always led to good conversation. And we'd always have, like, an intentional dinner together and like, make a true date night of it. Not even, like, out on the town, like, in cook steaks in and like, just spend time together. And it was so good. And so then kind of started praying about it and felt like, okay, we're feeling ready, we'll start trying it. Who knows how long it'll take? And thankfully, so grateful we got pregnant right away. And it was just like, wow, just pure bliss. Like, so grateful, so humbled, so honored. Like, I work in this industry. I know how hard it can be. And so then it was like, okay, now it's really prep time. So get my marriage ready, get my home ready, get my business ready. Like, I knew all these things because of seeing what, how hard postpartum can be and is. And a joy. It is such a joy. That's where I'm like, I want mom to experience that joy postpartum and let us take some of that strain away of that, like, overwhelming, anxious. Like, if we prep well, that can help.

[B]

It's really good.

[A]

Yeah. And so was so intentional in how we planned for this postpartum season and how we planned in our business. And once again, I'm like, acting like I was preparing. The Lord was preparing. Like, let's be honest here, he was doing the work. And so he was preparing my business in like, tangent, tangible ways. Like, I offered somebody, like, bought her essentially out of her corporate job, which, what? Like, we're this tiny company. Like, only the Lord could open those kind of doors. And I remember taking this huge leap of faith. Like, I kind of felt like, how could I afford this? And it was like, well, if you don't, you know, pay yourself, you can. And I was like, oh, like, of course, the Lord, like, put some of my heart. So I pray about it. Talk to my husband about it. He's like, yeah, we, you know, I. I feel like this is worth that leap of faith. Wow. Such a leap of faith at that time in my life is the biggest okay, God, I trust you moment that I've ever had. Like, that big. Other than, of course, giving my salvation, like, believing in the Lord. But anyway, and so he went before me in that way and we were preparing our business. We had a full time employee now that was our first full time employee. So who could truly help Manage the business so I could have a real maternity leave. My goal was for 12 weeks of uninterrupted baby snuggles. Cause the newborn season's so fleeting, so fast.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like, we have babies sleeping through the night sometimes at six weeks, but 12 weeks for sure. So I'm like, I only have 12 weeks with this tiny. I mean, of course we have their lifetime to watch them grow. But I wanted, like, uninterrupted 12 weeks with my newborn. And so I was getting prepared. And then birth came. Was preparing for that. I mean, we were just so resourced and supported and going to birth, not what I wanted. But the Lord still took care of it all. Like, I wanted to go as natural as possible or without medication, but had to be induced, which we were 42 weeks.

[B]

Like, I think this is so good for women to hear, though, because I was the same way with honey. I was like, I am going as long as I have to to go natural, and I'm not at all this stuff. And then at 41 weeks, my doctor was measuring her, and he was like, hey, she's really big, and I don't think this is wise. And I was like, so stubborn. And my husband was like, sadie, like, you gotta listen to him. And so totally changed the plans and then ended up being like, so what was needed, you know? So I think it's so good for moms to know, though, going in, like, again, you can have all these plans, but then you really gotta, like, do

[A]

what the Lord establishes you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, well, and that's what we felt like. I was trying so long, just gonna hold on. I was like, our bodies are made for this. Our bodies are made to do this.

[B]

Built to birth.

[A]

Yes, yes, exactly. And then when it got to 42, she was like, you can come in at 42 weeks at 1am and be induced. I was like, I will wait that long. I was willing. I was like, I'll do it. So got induced and didn't know the gender. So finally give birth. I don't even know how many hours later, 30 hours later, end up getting epidural, which, praise God, that was a blessing too. After all that Pitocin, like, it was so worth it.

[B]

I did the exact same thing.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes. And so I give birth, have this sweet little girl. Her name is Lily Ann. We had our names picked out ahead of time, so we knew it was either going to be our boy name or our girl name. So Lily Ann was just like, sweet, super meaningful, like lilies from lilies of the Field, like, consider how much he provides for them. How much more will he provide for you? And so then that really ends up being like a life verse for her and us. And then Ann is a family name and so we just love the little southern double name. And so anyway, it was sweet Lily Ann. So she was born in July, July 6th. And we were over the moon, thrilled, thought we were healthy as could be, and then literally got discharged at noon. And still blissful as can be, thinking, this is our, this is my postpartum season. I'm getting to keep, keep this. Like, I've always given babies back in the morning, right? I've always, like, been a nanny and given them back when at the end of the day and I go home. And so this is like our first child. And being like this night nurse in town, I'm like, it's my first baby. Like, how sweet. And I feel like around 8 something, my husband was like, she. Well, he kept asking all these sweet questions, like, is this normal? Is this normal? I was like, yes, baby, it's normal. And I'm a nurse. I'm like, everything's fine. I gotta be. They're fine, they're resilient. And then he ends up saying, like, I think she's cold. And I was like, now that's not normal. So I go over and touch her face. I'm like, oh, she's chilly, but her house is usually cold. Then I stick my hand down her shirt and I'm like, oh, her, like, core, like, her torso is cold. So I immediately get a thermometer. I had them right there at the diaper changing station and it said like 92 degrees. I was like, this cannot be right. This has to be broken. Well, I immediately get her skin to skin because I know our bodies are incredible and God made us so intentionally. And your breasts can regulate your body's temperature. Have twins. They can be different temperatures. Like, the breast can truly increase their temperature or decrease their temperature. Like, whatever's needed. This is why skin to skin is like, so important. Because babies as soon as they're born aren't good at regulating their own tips. But moms can help them regulate. So immediately get her skin to skin and then go upstairs to look for another thermometer. I'm like, that one had to be broken. So get her skin to skin. She hadn't been eating well. And looking back, there's so many things I'm like, I wish I would have caught sooner. But, like, it is what it is. Like, we were just in this Like a postpartum.

[B]

Yeah, you. Yeah.

[A]

Hey, like fog. And hadn't slept for the 36 hours of birth and all that stuff. And I just thought, oh, she's a sleepy newborn. Like, it's fine. But anyway, the cold I knew was not normal, so went. Got another thermometer, took her temp, and it still was like 93. And Wilson looked at me and said, are you scared? I said, yes. And he's like, we're leaving for the. We're going to the hospital. So we're driving. We're discharged at noon. And we were checked into the hospital by 9:00pm wow. And it just went downhill really, really fast. They started poking and prodding and trying to get, you know, all the lab results to figure out what was going on, just assuming it's a virus. And we're like, did you let people kiss her? And I was like, well, I've kissed her non stop since she's been born, like my husband has. And like grandparents, like, maybe kissed her head, like, yeah, maybe a cheek. Like, I mean, I know better, but it's like, you're. That's a sweet baby. And so. Yeah, right. And I was just like sick to my stomach thinking we gave her something like, oh, my goodness, like, just so unwelcome, like, would not leave her be. They kept bringing me supplies to pump and snacks. Like, I'm full on in my pad and diaper, just gave birth, like 40 couple stitches. 42 weeks. Yeah, a couple stitches. Like the whole shebang. And I, like, would not leave her side. And I remember them being like, okay, mama. The nurses were so great. And they were like, trying to help, like, support me, which I remember loving that about pediatric nurses. But why I didn't go that route, I was like, I really like the well baby and the well mama. Like, supporting postpartum moms. Like sick babies were. I mean, I remember in nursing school having to step out of the nicu, just asking politely to be excused because I had to go get myself together. Like, seeing babies sick, I was like, this is not like how it's supposed to be. Like, I've always loved babies, but seeing them sick is just like a whole nother level. And so some people that you have to. It has to be a calling. Like, the Lord has to give you the strength for that. And so I always worked in the mother baby. I worked in ICU with adults. And that was night, day, different. They had like, like live their life and make, you know, anyway,

[B]

Okay. If you're in a season of life where you are just exhausted before the day even starts then same. And that is why good sleep is a non negotiable for me and that is why we are a Helix sleep family. Christian and I took the Helix sleep quiz and got matched with a mattress that's actually perfect for how we sleep. And y' all the difference is real. I fall asleep so fast, stay asleep longer and wake up feeling like I can actually tackle the day. We love our Helix mattress. We have a Helix Midnight Elite mat mattress now. We just upgraded and it's so awesome. Helix makes it so easy to get the right mattress for you and they back it up with a risk free trial so you can be so confident that you made the right choice. We even got one for honey which is so great. So we are all in the Helix fam. It's great. If you ever have back pain, stiffness, headaches, all the things that come with not getting great sleep, then you need a good mattress and this is the one for you. All Helix mattresses are fiberglass free. They offer several cooling options and you really can tell the difference on that. And you get 120 night trial which takes the. So the biggest thing for us is how much better our whole family sleeps. It's a huge impact on all of our daily lives too. Of course it is. Sleep is good for you. So go to helixsleep.com sadie for 27% off site wide. This is an exclusive offer for our listeners of the well, let's go podcast. That's helixsleep.com Sadie for 27% off site wide. And make sure you enter our show's name after checkout so that they know we sent you there. Helixleep.com Sadie

[A]

so we're in the IC or sorry, not IC, we're in the ER and they're like, mama, she's gonna cry. Mom. Like warning, Mama. Mama. And I was. And I was like. But I just knew, like there you just have this gut feeling. I was like, but she's not. Like, she was already pretty unresponsive. So they'd poke and prod and like it was awful and so traumatic. But we were sitting there loving on her and it was like, the Lord gives you the strength you need in that moment. We still hadn't even told anybody. Like we finally are like, oh, we should text our parents. Like we like, I had a friend who has my location. I'll find my friends. And she was like, are you okay? And I was like, no, please pray for us like that. I mean that was it. Like, Or I think I said, we don't know. Like, of course I'm assuming it's gonna be okay. Like, for sure we're gonna get some medicine and go home. Like, we're gonna be fine. That's what we thought. And so they roll us up to a regular room, and I hold her all night. Which they don't want you to sleep with a baby in the bed with you. Cause there's safety rules and risk. And if you fall asleep and the baby rolls and falls. So I stay awake all night. Wilson takes a nap. And I was like, when you wa. Close your eyes, when you wake up, come over here and watch me sleep. Like, sit next to us. So he pulls up a chair and lets me sleep for a little bit. But that whole night, I remember just praying over her, singing, kissing her over and over again, feeling like this might be the only time I get with my baby. And I remember driving. Even that, like, driving to the er. I held her on my chest the whole time. I was like, car seats the least of my worries right now. And I just said. I was like, wow, I'm having to give my baby back. This whole time, I've thought, this is my baby to keep. And at the end of the day, our children are still the Lord. Like, they're really his. And I was like, I think I felt like I'm physically taking my baby back. Like, I'm having to give my baby back to the hospital and to the doctors. But for in a spiritual level, it was like I'm having to surrender her over to the Lord. Like, she's his. She's really not mine. She's just mine to, like, raise and love in this, like, season, however long he gives us, whether it's a full life in college and seeing her graduate or whether it's this, you know, just whatever it may be. And so, anyway, long story short, we end up finding out she has citrullinemia, which is a very rare genetic condition where she cannot break down protein, which we all need protein to live. And so we were naturally feeding her. She was nursing. She's getting protein. Well, then that was causing ammonia to rise in her body, which was what was causing her to get in that coma like state. There was swelling in her brain, and so the doctors, we finally figured out praying and praying, just like, crying out to the Lord for help and answers, because even the. We end up getting sent to the icu. So now we're in the pediatric ICU that next morning, and there I'm just crying to the nurses, like, she's not okay. Like, I know you can just tell by, like, this isn't okay. And they were like, we hear you, mama. We hear you. Like, your mama gut matters, which was so important and so important. Yeah. But it was cool to hear from, like, the medical side of things, too. They were like, that matters. And so they take another round of ABGs, and then they come back terrible. So they were like, we're gonna have to intubate. And of course, I knew that. What that meant. Did you know they rolled? Yeah. Well. And I could tell. I mean, I knew even overnight when I was holding her on my chest and praying over her and kissing on her, the way she was breathing, I knew she. I kept asking them. They're like, she's okay. She's okay. But I was like, she won't be able to do this forever. Eventually, her little body's gonna tuck her out, out, and she's going to code. Like, I just knew she couldn't breathe. Yes. Cuz I did know. And so they start rolling in the code cart and the intubation cart, and all the doctors start coming in, and they pull me and Wilson aside to kind of tell us what's going on. And I. I was like, I know, I know. I knew they needed to do what they need to do quickly. So I was like, y' all don't have to keep explaining. We'll get out of here. Because I know that's what they're going to ask us to do, is step out of the room. And so I was like, do what you need to do. And I will. I remember thinking, like, please don't have to code her. Like, chest compressions on her little heart, like, she's two. Two days old, maybe. Like, I was just. Anyway. But I was like, okay, Lord's will be done if this is meant whatever. Anyway, so we leave. We're, like, crying audibly, like, out loud in this koi pond at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and texting our parents, saying, it's not good. You need to come. She might not make it. And then I have this, like, wild hair where I'm like. I asked Wilson. I was like, do you mind if I post asking for prayers? Because I feel like we're the only six people, the two sets of parents and me and him praying for this sweet baby. I was like, I just want more people to pray for her. And so he was like, yes, please. So I immediately just post, like, please join us in praying for Lilyann. We don't know what's going on? And we're just begging God for answers and for her safety and for her life and. And to talk about feeling prayers tangibly like we felt. I mean, it was as soon as I posted it, like, this overwhelming peace that surpassed all understanding. We. I mean, it was incredible. It was humbling, and it was an honor. It was insane. Like, we felt the prayers. Well, then the doctor calls at the same time, he gets a call from the Tennessee State Department of Health that they got her heel prick, her newborn screen back, that she had a genetic condition. So, like, they get the answers all. It all comes in at the same time. So, like, the Lord, you know, like, it wasn't just, like, science doing their thing. Like, the Lord just orchestrated it beautifully and perfectly for us to get the answers we needed so then we could start the interventions to actually help her. So anyway, we. It would be. It's, you know, going to be a lifelong disease. The only other potential solution was, like, a liver transplant, which we're. Like, putting a newborn baby through a liver transplant didn't feel right to us in that moment either. And that's still a lifelong diagnosis. And so we're like, we will deal with whatever it is the Lord gives us. We want to honor her life and, like, just the way. Like, we don't want to put her through that yet. So just do whatever we can to help her and support her and keep her comfortable, too. That was a big thing. I was like, I don't want her to be in pain. They were like, she's not in pain because of the coma. I was like, when she wakes up, like, I was just like, please don't let this newborn baby suffer. So after a month in the hospital, we end up choosing to go home on hospice, just really feeling. The Lord had told me to save. I felt him tell me to savor, to savor her. And I was like, yes and amen. Like, I'm gonna soak up every detail of her little body and remember your

[B]

pictures that you posted, all the details.

[A]

It was so sweet. And just kiss and love on her. We finally got to hold her. I mean, in a hospital, you can only do so much holding and snuggling. Like, they're in a hospital bed and they're getting vital signs every few hours and labs all the time. And so we finally felt like, you know what? Like, hospice is the safest way I think hospice is. And they did not bring it up to. Was something the hospital is never going to be like, or I shouldn't say. Never. I just knew because I was a nurse to ask about it. But her comfort was one of my biggest goals in honoring her life and giving her dignity in this, like, life and like, this side of heaven. And so we ended up mentioning it to the doctors and they pulled up a chair and sat down with us, and we're like, oh, that's a different conversation, but we would be honored to have that with you. And so we talked about it and just decided, like, we want to have a safe plan to get her home, but we want to get her home. We want to kiss on her and love on her and let her just be in this, like, safety of her home without neon lights above her, without the pokes and the prods and the constant vital signs. And it was so much blood work. I mean, she was so pale all the time and, like, constant fluids. No fluids. Swollen, not swollen. Like, it was just, you know, the constant back and forth until we get our sweet baby home on hospice and just kiss her and love on her and have no idea. We literally were like, we have no idea how much time we're going to have with her, but we want to honor her life. However, days, weeks, years. We met a sweet family online, of course, who had a five year old with this. And he went. He was five when he got his liver transplant. So I was like, that's amazing. So we were gonna, you know, manage it with diet, her formula, her medications all weighed. They taught us how to weigh everything. She didn't. She had an NG tube when she came home, so that's in her nose. Because of all the brain trauma and swelling, she never really learned the suck, swallow, breathe thing. And we tried. We did all the feeding therapy, but she had no interest in taking a bottle. She could suck on a passy. And once we got old enough, so she ends up, like, literally, the Lord was so kind and, like, just, I feel like, really blessed our obedience. And I don't, like, I don't feel. It's not about me, it's all him. Like, we don't feel worthy, but we're so incredibly grateful that he gave us this, like, time with her. So she ends up, like, growing and, like, healing like this. So beautiful, like, healing as best she could this side of heaven. I. We start rolling, we. We start sleeping through the night. Like, we're doing big girl things. Like, she knew who mommy and daddy was. She was blowing raspberries and touching our face and just doing all the sweet, like, I love you, like you. It was so sweet. So she was Just the best. And loved the Instagram. Like, I was telling everybody, which I don't even know why. I felt like the Lord just gave me the strength and, like, wanted me to share her story. I'm like, why am I sharing all this? Vulnerable. Like, I'm crying with a baby on my chest who's on hospice. Like, why am I posting this? But it was really for the Lord to get the glory and for him to get the credit for her life. So shared her whole story, the whole time. And then she. I mean, she was literally killing it, thriving. We started then talking about, like, do we want to pursue a liver? Like, is this what the Lord has for her? And we kept praying about it, praying about it. And we even said yes to the hepatic team, which is the liver team. And then we had an appointment on April 8 with her genetics team to talk about it. And Lilliane went to be with Jesus on April 6th.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I might have said her birthday was in April. Her birthday was in July. If I said that, I said July. Okay. Okay, I did. Okay, good. So then April. So exactly nine months old. So she was born July 6th. Passed away when the bog is on April 6th.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, just this. Just exactly a year ago.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

When we're recording this.

[B]

Wow. That's so wild. I didn't realize it was so close to the date. I mean, you. You are such a warrior friend. I mean, watching as you were going through the story, I was thinking about. I remember the first night that y' all posted, praying for her, because I think Grace had reshared it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I was like, christian, look at this. And we were praying, and then I remember your updates. If you were bringing her home and reading your captions to Christian and being like, this is so wild. And then, like, showing your videos that you posted. And I was so in awe and so inspired by you as the mom that you were. The trust you had in the Lord and how, you know, Christian and I always, always say, we're like, they're yours first. You love them more than we do.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

But then when you're put in the situation to, like, have to really believe that and trust that, that God, you really do love them more, and they're yours first. And you know, you. You give life and you take life, and, you know, the number of our days and all that sense of it's. It hits different when you're in that position, and it's so scary, and it's so hard, and it tests your faith so much. And so just watching you. I'm like, wow. Like everything she. I am so inspired by the things she's doing, but I also know that's so hard and that's so scary. And so, I mean, it was just, it was. I just remember that whole journey and like being so, so amazed and then crying the tears with y' all whenever she passed. But then even after she passed, like seeing y' all post about the funeral and the way that you've continued to honor her and testified and now like, you know, obviously you've mentioned like being pregnant again, like just following your whole journey. You've just testified to the goodness of God. Even in the worst of Mom. I'm in a season of life where complicated wellness routines is just not going to work. So I have been focusing on the easiest wins, things that fit into my day without making life harder. One of the biggest things for me has been getting enough protein. It is so simple, but it really does change how I feel, changes my energy focus, everything. And I am loving Taylor Duke's wellness protein. It fits into what I'm already doing. Instead of adding something complicated or new to my plate, I just add one scoop into my iced coffee smoothie. Literally just water sometimes, which is so easy. What makes this protein different is it's made from 100% grass fed bone broth. But you'd really never know that because it doesn't taste like that at all. It tastes smooth, it's collagen rich and it's made with ingredients that I feel good about me and Christian having, but not only us, our kids having, which is really the biggest win. I actually made Honey and Haven a smoothie yesterday with the chocolate protein and Honey said this is the best smoothie ever, mom. And that's such a win as a mom to find something that they love that's good for them. I love that I can trust this brand. Taylor Dukes is functional medicine, nurse practitioner and a Christian mom. Everything about her brand is focused on being intentional, not the pressure to be perfect. TDW has their best offer right now. You can use my link shop Taylor Dukes wellness.com whoo. To save 15% off site wide anytime. Plus for the next 48 hours. Everybody get this. You can also unlock two free gifts with any full size protein purchase. Check it out at Shop Taylor Dukes Bonus.com so I want to ask you about your faith. Like how do you have such a solid foundation of faith and is that something that like, are you surprised by how strong your faith has been through this?

[A]

Like, I feel like that's what, like, really makes me want to cry is I just feel like it's the Lord in His kindness. Like, he is who he says he is, and he is with you in those hard moments, as you've experienced, like, in the most scary times in those hospital walls when you're crying and begging God for your child's life, like, over their hospital bed or in your home. Like, we were literally layering CC Winans, like, come, Jesus, come. Like, I wanted Jesus to come for all of us. I'm like, please, it is time, Lord. It is time. As far as, like, I don't even feel like I can take credit for my faith. Yes. I'm so grateful my parents raised me in church. So grateful that we have, like, this, like, love for the Lord, like, passed down to us. I feel like even. And it became our own as we got older, and we've both all, you know, pursued the Lord's in our own ways as we've grown up and. But, yeah, I think I did a Holy Spirit study with some girlfriends a while back and took pieces of some Alex Seeley sermons and some other people's sermons and put them all together and, like, started just reading about the Holy Spirit. And I felt like, in so many ways, that was preparing my heart because the way that the, you know, Jesus was here, and we so believe that he died for our sins. And because of that sacrifice, like, we get to be with him in heaven. Like, we fully believe in the promise of heaven, and that's what we cling to. Like, that is. I feel like why we have been able to keep going and be so strong is, like, we know she is good. She's not suffering. She's not gonna be poked or prodded. She doesn't have to go through a liver transplant. She doesn't have to. She won't want for anything. She's in the glory of God. I just couldn't. The colors she's getting to see, like, in his kindness. I was worshiping and praying and journaling one morning out by my friends at my friend's lake house in Michigan and was just singing this, like, song about Nicole Duckworth. Jesus be everything. Like, Jesus be everything. Jesus be everything. And I hear and, like, see Lily Ann's big, shiny face saying, he is. He is, Mommy. He is. And I lost it. Like, just wept and was like, oh, she's so good. Like, she's in his glory. She's so good. And so that's really, like, he, in his kindness, is giving us this faith and giving us this strength and giving us this joy. Joy, Joy. Like, how do we feel Joy. Like, we have lost our only child. Like, yes, we're so grateful to be pregnant again and so grateful that God gave us peace and the resources. We did do IVF this time. And we're so grateful for the opportunity and to get to test these sweet embryos and to know that this baby's safe because we wanted to keep any child from suffering the way Lilyann did. And we're so grateful. But ultimately, we're living for heaven. If Jesus comes before this baby's born, born, I will still be so grateful. Like, it is enough. Like, if he didn't do any half of the things he did, it would have been enough. If he didn't do. If he didn't spare her life in that first time, I mean, when they intubated her the first time, like, that would have been enough. Like it. But yet he went abundantly. He gave us abundantly, more than we could think or ask. And it. Yeah, I think that has g like that in itself. The way he shown up for us, the way that people have prayed for us, the way that people. I mean, people. Small groups I wasn't even in, are like. Like, supporting us, feeding us, clothing us.

[B]

So powerful.

[A]

It was incredible. And it still is incredible. We still feel surrounded. We still feel covered in prayer. We feel the Holy Spirit empowering us and equipping us. And so, yeah, I just. I really give God all the glory. Wild. He is who he says he is.

[B]

I'm just amazed. I'm sitting here in awe and kind of to the point of, like, speechless, which is a terrible place to be on a podcast. And so I. Sometimes I'm like, I wish I wasn't the host of this one. I wish I was listening because. Because if I was listening to this podcast right now, one, I would just have to pull over the car and, like, cry and, like, literally start to journal. As moms, you do have to surrender your kid to the Lord. Whether your kid has ever been sick or hasn't, whether your kid has a genetic thing or is perfectly healthy and, well, like, they are his first.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And. And heaven is all of our home. And that's where. And it's not good, too. It's. It's wonderful in the fullness, and it is holy because God is holy. And there is no sickness and no crying, and it's where we're all headed. And praise God for that. And this world is where there is sickness and there is pain and there is all those things and so it's just getting your heart in the right place. Because it's so easy as a mom to just your kids to be your whole world because you love them so much. You've never loved anything thing more. You know, you love your husband, you love your family, you. You love your child, love that child more. And so it's just like you have to posture your heart and your love for the Lord first. And if you're not intentional about it, you realize real quickly where your. Where your heart's at. And so I think it's really cool that you said that about your faith, because I've experienced the same thing where I think a lot of times we think, like, we have to have the faith to give to God, right? But God gives you the faith. Like, the Holy Spirit is your advocate, and he gives you faith in those mom moments. And it's crazy to the details of you going through the Holy Spirit Bible study of Alex Seeley's, because again, real time Alex Seeley was on the podcast, which I don't know when it'll all come out, but yesterday. And so they ran into each other in the hotel. So just God's kindness in the details of even me meeting you and being inspired by you in so many ways. This week of all weeks, Alex Seeley being here this week of all weeks, I'm just like, you continue to show up day by day and be like, our provider. Talk about the name of Lily. Like, if he cares for the lilies, like, how much more I know.

[A]

And it had to literally, like, become our. Like the verse that got us through that season. We're like, if he will provide, he provides for the lilies. He dresses them with beauty and splendor. How much more does he love you and me? And is he gonna provide for. And we watched him provide physically, emotional, emotionally, spiritually, and providing himself and financially, like her medical bills. We weren't stressed about that because we knew he had it. He was covering all of it.

[B]

It's wild.

[A]

So wild. And. Yeah. And that's what we say all the time. Heaven is better. Heaven is better than our best days. Like, heaven is better. Heaven is our goal. Heaven is what we're living for. There's nothing this side. I like, there's nothing this side of heaven that I'm more excited about than heaven. And so I'm so excited for her. As sad as we are to not have her, you're on this side of earth and to get to see her, like, physically be a big sister, like, we're so happy for her. Like she is in the goodness of God and in his glory. And it's like a joy as a parent. Like, what more could you want for your child? Like, yes, you want to love them, but you want them to walk with Jesus, right? Isn't that your prayer for your children to walk with Jesus? I feel like Kit will walk with like she knows Jesus. Like she's going to wave for the first time and talk like Jesus, literally.

[B]

And her name is to bear Christ. Like that's what Kit means. That's literally what it means. So I was just like, wow.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And I kept speaking that again, like the names of your children. It matters. You can speak that. It goes so much with the life they're going to live. And it's crazy. It's so crazy.

[A]

It is.

[B]

Oh, it's so good. I want to talk about before the podcast. I know we're, we're getting to the end, but what you do for moms is so important and there are so many moms out there who are in the early days and struggling. Like, I mean so many people ask me, do you. Can you talk more about postpartum? And I always link, you know, the postpartum ones that I've done in the past. But what an awesome opportunity for someone like you on here who's walked with so many moms. Give some encouragement and then also just lead people to the right place for all the things that you do for the help.

[A]

Yeah, you're so sweet.

[B]

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[A]

Okay, so first and foremost, like God made you for your child. So you are enough just the way you are right now. Like you don't have to be any strive any harder, do anything more. Like God made you for your child and your child for you. You and your child doesn't know any different, you know, like you. That's all they know. So I want to encourage you to be confident in that and other moms to be confident in that because I'm also just like a firm believer and been educated and trained in nervous system regulation and like we are co regulating with one another when you're sitting here, right? Like, if you were anxious, or like an airplane, if somebody's anxious sitting next to you, you feel that even though you're calm, but you feel that they're anxious, you're like, okay, it's okay, right? An elevator, Somebody's scared. You kind of feel it. You're like. Like, it's okay. And so for your sweet babies, like, when you're an anxious mom or when you're nervous all the time or when you're worried all the time, it's like they feel that for them, it might. They can't put the word anxiety to it, but they might have more, you know, GI issues or reflux or who knows? I'm not saying it's all because of anxiety, but they feel that nonetheless. But they also feel your peace and they feel your joy. And so I really want to encourage moms to take the time. People are always like, well, when and how. Like, baby, you know, to. But if you're calm and you can sit and get in the word of Christ, like, it is sweeter than the drippings of a honeycomb. Like, it is so good, and it will give you so much life to spend time with the Lord to, like, surrender your child over to the Lord, like we've talked about over and over again in this podcast. They're his, ultimately. And so I want to encourage moms to, like, be confident in who God created you to be as a mom, to dig into the Lord and the Holy Spirit and to pray and to cry out to him, like, you aren't meant to parent alone. The Holy Spirit is our counselor, our comforter, our help. Like, that's where, like, even for me and everything I've walked through, like, I've seen the Holy Spirit counsel me, like, I'm pro counseling, done. Do all the thing, like, all for it. We all need it. But, like, the Holy Spirit has been counseling me. Like, it has been so cool. And so, like, know that you don't have to parent alone. You don't have to do this alone. You don't have. When your sweet baby's crying, yes, you. God made you for your child, but the Holy Spirit can also comfort them.

[B]

Great.

[A]

It's so good and so okay as far as resources, though. So anyway, one, I want to encourage moms. Like, I know I could go on and on. It's a whole separate podcast about mom.

[B]

And I'm like, yes, yes. No, Every mom's gonna be like, can she keep talking? Please Follow her on Instagram. But no, genuinely, I always say that to moms, I'm always like, you are the best for the job because you're the mom. And I want people to feel confident in that because for me, like, I was a super anxious mom with Honey, and I saw that affect her. And then I remember I actually, I'll be vulnerable. I remember the pediatrician saying to me, like, she's affected by your anxiety. And I was so frustrated by it because I was like, like, how dare you?

[A]

You know, like, I'm actually really impressed and good for your pediatrician speaking into it.

[B]

But it's true. She was.

[A]

Nobody wants to tell a mom that. Yeah. You know, yeah.

[B]

And it was hard to hear, but it was true.

[A]

We don't want to tell moms that.

[B]

And I was like, yep, it's true. And. And actually. But I want to encourage moms in this. That did affect Honey whenever she was little. But at this point, I've. I changed. And you can change because the Holy Spirit has truly helped transform the way that to things, even like, little things or whatever. And now she's changed. Like, so I say it to say, just because maybe you look down on your child supporting, oh, I blew it. You didn't blow it.

[A]

You.

[B]

I mean, like, no, you. God can transform anyone anytime, and you just had to keep welcoming him into your heart. And I see such a difference in me now as, you know, having a third child that I did my first. But there's so much grace for the journey.

[A]

So much grace.

[B]

You grow so much. And I think, think that hopefully is going to help Honey even see in her life that she can overcome things and grow in things that she's struggling with. We're all going to struggle. And so I love that you're saying this. It's so important. And I did struggle with that.

[A]

Yes. And even to your point, you said, like, it's never too late. You're impacting your kids no matter where they are, no matter how old they are. My parents were incredible and I adore them and they adored me and loved me so well, but I will, like, my dad got significantly healthier and, like, always loved the Lord, but, like, started doing his work and really getting healthy in his adult years. Not that he was in a bad place before, but he just, like, it impacted. It was so. And it still impacted me. So it's never too late to, like, be leaning into the Holy Spirit and the Lord and asking for help and getting mentors. And I felt like I. It changed the way that I dated and who I married because he was so healthy. I was like, wait, I want somebody like this. Not like. Anyway, it was. It's so good. So yeah, it's never the same thing. It's never too late. Absolutely. Um, okay. But then Resources for moms. So we have a free app, which is incredible. Like I think I still am tickled that we have an app. How do we have an app? So Choose Joy Nursing. On whatever platform, like Android, iPhone, there's or iPads, there's an app called Choose Joy Nursing. It's free to download. It has blogs and little videos like buckling in a car seat or there's feeding videos. There's all these videos in there. Some are free, some are locked for subscribers. If you choose to subscribe, that has a nurse AI feature so you can chat in the middle of the night. Like it has. I have trained that AI bot with, with all of my 55 pages of handbooks that I or like manuals I give my nurses when I train nurses now. Cause my nurses aren't just yes, they're trained to be a registered nurse. Like that's something schooling and hospital experience teaches them. But then we train them in how we want to co regulate with moms, pray for moms, love on babies. Like what's important to us. Like how we meet moms, where they're at, how we support them in sleep training naturally and safely and nervous system informed. So everything I train my nurses is what we use to train that bot. The AI feature. So that's really cool. So you can ask the AI bot questions anytime morning or middle of the night when you're, you know, like help. It's a great resource. So yeah, an incredible resource for mom. Even if you're doing the free version, you can log babies, wets, dirties, feeds, care checks, all that's on there for free. You can just log. At least right now it is. I'm like, I don't know when the sawyer. They've talked about locking it, but right now I like love that it's just available for everybody. And then the. So we have the app. We also have a baby 101 course which is incredible because it's going to be like. Like I've had second and third time moms be like, I need a refresher. I forget about the newborn stage. It's all things postpartum recovery, mental health, nervous system, nutrition, but then baby swaddling, diaper changes, when to feed, how often to feed, how to set up healthy sleep habits from the start. And my big like healthy sleep habits, like start early versus Trying to help them. Like, yes, it's never too late, as we've said.

[B]

She's like, I'm going to help you later with your 8 month old and it's still great.

[A]

I can still help you.

[B]

We got this.

[A]

We got this. Oh, totally, totally. But I'm like, when you start super early, it becomes so natural that it's never like you never. They. We've had babies that never have to cry because it's just what comes natural to them. And so that's incredible. So yeah, we have the app, we have the course online that you can just watch at your own leisure whenever you want that's more geared towards like really pregnancy or right before a newborn, no matter what baby it is for you. But it does talk about sleep training and all that good stuff in there. And then, then Instagram you can follow us. Choose Joy Nursing. And we do have like live in services. So those people will fly nurses. Like if we're not in your city, they can fly nurses to them. We've had people do that. But Nashville is our home base. We have 30 nurses in Nashville that work with us. It's such a gift. It's so incredible. And they're so kind and like love these moms and love these babies and it's so sweet. And we teach like baby 101 classes in person and Nashville and we do overnight care. We do, we have a lactation consultant to help with because obviously feeding is so important. It's incredible. It's like such a gift, such an honor. Yeah, we've had, we even had a doctor reach out and be like, hey, since they're all nurses, can they take care of our post surgical. Like, somebody had a mommy makeover. Can they take care of our patient? I was like, well, let me ask them. Some of them have ICU and plastics backgrounds. Before baby or vice versa. They were baby and switch. So now we've started serving moms in the like, surgical space in Nashville. So just registered nurses getting to love on moms and love on these sweet babies and really trained in like showing up and supporting mom. Like really, anybody can hold a sweet baby. And we absolutely love snuggling the sweet babies and loving on them. But more importantly, we really want to show up for mom so she can be the best parent and best co regulator for her child.

[B]

That's so cool. I love it. You know, our like tagline is to be a sister and a friend to those who don't have one. And that is like the ultimate sister and friend, like showing up in such a village stage and just, like, loving you where you're at and helping you be the best mom you can be. And that's, like, so important because I remember just, you know, we have help with our kids because I'm working and Krishna's working, all this stuff. And it's always, like, been meant so much to me when she's like, I want to help you be the best mom like you can be. You know, they're not taking that place in your life, obviously. Even if they're helping in the night, it's like, they don't replace you. They're just helping assist you to be the best that you can be.

[A]

Yes. Empowering, yes. Equipping you 100. I love that. And that's why I've always, like, I was always the nanny back in the day, in the day, and the childcare provider, and I always wanted to empower that mom. I wanted her to come home and the dishes and the laundry be done and the kids be happy so that she can just play in love on them and get to be the best version of herself.

[B]

Best sister and friend ever. Well, I'm so excited for everyone listening to this, because y' all have asked me so many questions, and I'm like, I can only give you my personal experience, and that's not even the best advice sometimes. So I'm thankful for a platform now that y' all can go follow Choose Joy Nursing. Also download the app. I will be downloading that app as soon as we got this podcast and follow Lauren's journey along, too. She's an incredible influencer, worth following, leading people to Jesus. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

[A]

Yes, thank you for having me. It's so, so sweet and just an honor to be here, Sam.