I Never Wanted This to Be My Story, But I Would Do It All Again! | Sadie Rob Huff & Annie F. Downs

Summary

WHOA That's Good Podcast: Episode Summary Title: I Never Wanted This to Be My Story, But I Would Do It All Again! | Sadie Rob Huff & Annie F. Downs
Host: Sadie Robertson Huff
Guest: Annie F. Downs
Release Date: November 27, 2024

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1. Warm Welcome and Celebrating Achievements

[01:05] Sadie Robertson Huff opens the episode by warmly welcoming Annie F. Downs back to the podcast. Sadie expresses profound gratitude for Annie’s recurring appearances and highlights Annie’s remarkable accomplishments:

“Annie, you have used what the Lord has given you to glorify Him and to be a sister and a friend to every single person who reads your books, who listens to your podcast. I am one of those people who have been blessed by that.” [02:38]

Annie responds with humility, acknowledging that her success is a divine gift and sharing her aspirations to continue growing her platforms:

“My goal is to be 100. I loved going from nine to 10, going to two digits, and my next chance to do that is 99 to 100.” [04:06]

2. Building a Supportive Community

Sadie and Annie discuss the importance of community in sustaining long-term success. Sadie shares a heartfelt story about her grandmother’s birthday, emphasizing how strong community ties contribute to longevity and well-being:

“She has this crew of best friends… contributing her long life and her age to the people who she's surrounded by in her community.” [06:00]

Annie echoes this sentiment, highlighting how a supportive network can uplift individuals, especially during significant life milestones.

3. The Journey of Podcasting and Leadership

Annie delves into her journey from teaching elementary school to becoming a successful podcaster and author. She reflects on how her teaching experience honed her ability to engage and educate others:

“For 180 days, five years in a row, I had to teach and entertain 30 fourth and fifth graders. It gave me my 10,000 hours of, how do you actually teach people something that they don't forget?” [08:03]

Sadie appreciates Annie’s authenticity and emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself in sustaining a long-running podcast:

“The reason why it's lasted and all the things is because it's true to who you are. It's an overflow of who you are.” [14:46]

4. Addressing Singleness and Pastoring Singles

A significant portion of the conversation centers on singleness and the need for churches to better support single individuals. Annie stresses that a growing percentage of church members are single, yet many pastors lack training to minister effectively to them:

“28% of the church is unmarried... Yet none of our pastors have training on singleness.” [26:56]

She introduces the Pastoring Singles resource, a free tool designed to help pastors create more inclusive and supportive environments for single congregants. Annie underscores the necessity of reassessing the theology of singleness to ensure single individuals feel valued and understood within their faith communities.

5. Advent Study: Embracing Waiting and Anticipation

Annie introduces her new Advent study titled "Stay Tuned," which focuses on the challenges and joys of waiting during the Advent season. She explains that Advent is a time of anticipation leading up to Christmas, and her study aims to help participants embrace both the pain and the hope inherent in waiting:

“Stay Tuned is about facing Advent with honesty, acknowledging the difficulty of waiting while still holding onto hope.” [19:17]

Sadie relates this to her own experiences, appreciating the study’s balance between acknowledging grief and maintaining hope:

“You can cry about it… Human is human.” [42:54]

6. Wrestling with Faith and Understanding Prosperity

The discussion delves into the complexities of faith, particularly how to reconcile biblical promises with personal struggles. Annie reflects on Psalm 1:1-3 and Hebrews 11, highlighting the idea that prosperity and endurance are part of a larger, unfolding story:

“Whatever he does prospers. And so you go like, well, that isn't even true of the high school football team I watched on Friday night that we wanted to win.” [38:10]

Sadie encourages listeners to engage deeply with scripture and to wrestle with their doubts and hopes:

“You have to learn how to wrestle with God… there's so much greater to come.” [41:59]

7. Encouragement for Singles

Towards the end of the episode, Annie offers heartfelt encouragement to single listeners. She shares personal insights and testimonies from the Single Purpose League, a community she leads for single Christians:

“God says in Isaiah that He is your husband. And so I will say to God, I feel unsafe… he loves being reminded too.” [48:52]

Annie emphasizes that being single is a purposeful season where one's actions can significantly impact the kingdom, encouraging singles to find strength and purpose in their current phase of life:

“In every dating relationship, when it starts to fall apart…I only want the guy that is gonna do more [for the kingdom].” [51:05]

8. Closing Reflections and Mutual Appreciation

Sadie wraps up the episode by expressing deep admiration for Annie’s authenticity and leadership. She highlights how Annie’s words and actions both educate and inspire listeners:

“You teach so much with the words that you say, but the life you live is something that I learned from just as much as the words that you say.” [54:20]

Annie reciprocates the gratitude, acknowledging the profound impact of their conversations on her personal and professional journey:

“It's something profound about doing work that matters, even if you aren’t.” [34:07]

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Sadie Robertson Huff:
  “It's an overflow of who you are. It's what God's always had on your life to do.” [14:46]

• Annie F. Downs:
  “Blacked is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers. … Whatever he does prospers.” [38:10]

• Annie F. Downs:
  “You have to assess our theology of singleness. Do we actually think single people are equal to married people?” [30:45]

• Sadie Robertson Huff:
  “You have to learn how to wrestle with God… there's so much greater to come.” [41:59]

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Concluding Thoughts

This episode of WHOA That's Good Podcast offers a profound exploration of singleness, faith, and community. Sadie Robertson Huff and Annie F. Downs engage in an authentic and heartfelt conversation, addressing the struggles and triumphs associated with waiting and serving in singleness. Through personal stories, scriptural insights, and practical advice, they provide listeners with encouragement and tools to navigate their own journeys with hope and resilience.

Transcript

[Sadie Robertson]

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com results. Twitter terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be. To be. What's up, everybody? Happy Wednesday. I hope you're having a great week, but per usual, it is about to get literally so much better because we have one of our favorite friends back on the podcast. And I, I. You just said this because I was on your podcast, but I think this is true about my podcast. You're one of our, like, biggest recurring guests. I think we've only had you and Dr. Amen and maybe one other this many times, so. Annie Downs, welcome back to the podcast.

[Annie F. Downs]

What an honor. Thanks for having me, Sadie. I'm so glad to get to talk to you. This is like we were praying beforehand and you said, thank you, God, that this is what we get to do. Like, I'm so. I just love getting to talk to friends. I know for part of how I get to be on the earth and serving God. So what a gift.

[Sadie Robertson]

It's not just a gift. It is something I'm so grateful for. And whenever my team, they were like, okay, this is in the middle of your book press day, but Annie is available if you want to interview her. I'm like, are you kidding me? Yes, I want to interview her. And I just started thinking. I was like, if I said no to this because I'm so busy, every single person who listens to the well, that's good podcast would be so mad at me if I said no to having you on the podcast. So I was like, yes, absolutely. We're squeezing it in and whatever time we have. So I'm just thankful to have a conversation with you. I have to give you a massive shout out, though, and I have to literally read this shout out because I'm, like, adjusting my eyes to make sure I'm reading this right. This is your milestone year, which means you've had a 100 million downloads of that Sounds Fun podcast. What? 10 million downloads of the let's Read the Gospels podcast and more than 1 million books sold. That's my friends Annie F Downs. And the coolest thing, though, is like, Annie, you have used what the Lord has given you to glorify him and to be a sister and a friend to every single person who reads your books, who listens to your podcast. I am one of those people who have been blessed by that. But to see just the vast reach you have had truly is the coolest thing ever. So a huge congratulations.

[Annie F. Downs]

Yeah, thanks. Isn't that wild? It's. It's such a gift when. When all that ended up falling in the same year. And you know this from podcasting. Podcasting is having its best year. I mean, there's a lot of new shows. There's a lot going on. And so we're also maneuvering. How do we. How do we continue to lead in content? Not a number. I'm not on a chart anywhere. But how do we continue to be leaders in the space when it is changing so rapidly? And so those kind of moments felt like God being like, you're all right, you're all right. You're in the right spot. I mean, that's what the reminder was. And you're right. I mean, I don't deserve any of that. You know, it takes a whole team to get a book in any hands. But, yes, it is a good reminder that each of those numbers is an actual human. An actual human that God knows so deeply and knows when they cry and knows what they're hurting about and knows their greatest joys. And the idea that he would trust me when I know my sin patterns. I mean, I haven't missed a single sin I've ever committed. I've been in full attendance for all of them. And so I think, man, I can't imagine that he has decided to use my life when I know myself as well as I do, but I'm really grateful, and I hope I get to keep doing it. My goal is to be 100. I loved going from nine to 10, going to two digits, and my next chance to do that is 99 to 100. And so I've got. You know, I'm on the. I'm still in the first half. I haven't even halftime yet. And so I'm. I'm really grateful, Andy.

[Sadie Robertson]

That's so good. And that's so that. I love that you said, I'm not even at halftime yet. I just think it's so special when you hear someone who has had so much accomplishment say, like, this isn't even it. Like, I haven't even. No, that's amazing. But, like, God has so much more. And I think so Many people fall in this trap of, like, the best days are behind them. But that is not true, man. God has something in every stage of your life. And shout out to the golden bachelor for showing that that there is always hope. There is always. And there's always something good around the corner if you keep your hope alive.

[Annie F. Downs]

And that's it. I mean, Sadie, I just had a friend go through a breakup, and one of the things that she just wept over is, will I ever get to love again? And there is this mindset for a lot of us married, single moms, non moms, there's this mindset of, has the best thing that's ever gonna happen to me already happened to me, and that's just not true. That's not the gospel. That's not what scripture outlines for us. In fact, if you wanna go to Revelation, it actually gets way better than what we've experienced here on Earth. Your best days are not behind you. And so we get to keep going, believing that the best days are still coming.

[Sadie Robertson]

Yep. It's great. I remember in high school, whenever high school was really hard, thinking like, oh, no. People sometimes say this is the best time of their life, and this is terrible. If this is it for me, then this is going to be a not a fun run. And then being on Dancing with the Stars, which felt like such a mountain, but being like that wasn't it. You know what I mean? Like, that was great. But there's more to come. Like, I mean, it's just so cool when you keep that perspective in life. I love. I'm looking forward to 100. My grandma's the same way. She's like, I just want to be 100. And what if.

[Annie F. Downs]

I think everyone in your family lives forever? I think y'all got like a little, like some sort of fountain you're drinking from that just keeps everybody going.

[Sadie Robertson]

You know what the thing is, though? This is actually. So. Did you see that Netflix documentary, the Blue Zone?

[Annie F. Downs]

Yes. I loved it.

[Sadie Robertson]

That was fascinating. So my great grandmother, you know, she's 92. She might be 93, but regardless. And I feel like at that point, every year counts. Like, I need to say 93 if it's 93, because that's so impressive. But what's amazing is, like, she has this crew of best friends. Like, it's a big crew, too. Like, her crew is, like, bigger than my best friend crew, which is quite impressive. But her community is so strong. And there's several 92, 90 year olds in her friend group. And I was like, you know, they really should have done a blue zone of this friend group because. And she will say it. It's her community that's kept her going. It's our community that's kept her alive. This past year, I went over to her house on her birthday. Uh, honey, wrote her a little note, and we were like, happy birthday, Mama. And while I was there, probably three, four people stopped by. And also while I was there, I said, hey, did you get my FaceTime message? Because, you know, now if they don't answer, you can, like, send them a video. It was my first time to do that, and I wasn't sure if she would have known how to do that. She goes, I did see something, but I don't. I don't know if I watched it. And she starts scrolling through her notifications, and I'm thinking, oh, you. You've got to be in, like, last week. By how long she was scrolling, I'm thinking, you passed it. Sure enough, there, she gets on it. And I memo, how many texts do you have today? And it was just amazing because she had so many birthday texts, so many birthday calls. Four people stopped by while I was there. And I said, memo, it's really amazing to see how many people have stopped by and how many people have texted you. And she said, well, honey, you don't get to my age without this. And I just thought, man, that is so beautiful, contributing her long life and her age to the people who she's surrounded by in her community. So, girl.

[Annie F. Downs]

Okay. Is she two mama's mom?

[Sadie Robertson]

Two mama's mom.

[Annie F. Downs]

Got it.

[Sadie Robertson]

Yeah. So I'm cheering you on to 100, Annie, and I hope I'm there to celebrate this massive birthday party.

[Annie F. Downs]

100, you're gonna be there.

[Sadie Robertson]

I hope that that sounds fun. Is still a podcast live.

[Annie F. Downs]

We'll be trying.

[Sadie Robertson]

It would be epic. But, yeah, I want to ask you, because I know you, but I don't even know that I know the answer to this question. How did all of this start for you?

[Annie F. Downs]

Right, So I used to teach elementary school. That's what I actually studied at the University of Georgia. Go, Dogs. Is I studied elementary school, and I taught for five years. But that's actually a really special part of the story because what that means is for 180 days, five years in a row, I had to teach and entertain 30 fourth and fifth graders. And it gave me my, like, my 10,000 hours of, how do you actually teach people something that they don't forget? And so I say a lot to people. I. I think we all pretty much have one calling. It just come. And each. Each person's is different.

[Sadie Robertson]

I agree.

[Annie F. Downs]

But my calling has just had multiple different expressions. I'm doing the same thing now that I did when I taught school. It's just the content is different.

[Sadie Robertson]

I totally agree. That's great.

[Annie F. Downs]

It's so good. Because then you go, like, wait, what are the things I've always really loved? Well, I've always really loved talking and teaching. Then you go, oh, God's always had this as part of my life. And so that's. It really started with teaching school. And then while I was teaching school, I was leading. Particularly the last two years, I was lead. Leading a high school small group of girls. And at the end. And I was writing them lessons every week. At the end of that semester, one of the girls asked me, will you print one more of these studies that we've done and staple it like a book so I can give it to a friend? And I was like, like a book.

[Sadie Robertson]

Wow.

[Annie F. Downs]

And that is seriously how this whole thing started. And so I just started pursuing, like, what does it look like to write a book and to move into the space? And then the podcast came around because another author asked me to interview them. And I was like, I mean, I will, but I have like, Twitter and a blog. Where do are you going to release it somewhere? And his PR person said, have you ever thought about starting a podcast? And Hand to Heaven Sadie? I said, that sounds fun.

[Sadie Robertson]

No way.

[Annie F. Downs]

I was like, it's just like, well, that's good. Of all. You're like, oh, I say that anyway.

[Sadie Robertson]

Yes.

[Annie F. Downs]

I'll just stick with it. Yours has served you a little better because that sounds fun. Makes it hard to do, like, spiritual attack episodes of the podcast. But we have to, right? Like, we got to talk about grief and hard stuff. It's like, that sounds fun. Watch out for the devil. You know, like, it doesn't go quite as easy as, whoa, that's good. But that's really where it started. And it matters to me because the p. Our friends who are listening to this, we are with them in a very intimate way. I listen to podcasts when I get ready in the morning, so I have no makeup on and barely any clothes on. Right. So I'm there. I'm listening to you in a way that I. You wouldn't actually get to see me.

[Sadie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Annie F. Downs]

Or I'm working out, or I'm in my car, or I'm walking through the grocery store with these. With my AirPods in and. Or on the Subway in New York. And no else knows what I'm talking to but what I'm listening to. But these friends listening have let us into their ears and into their head. And it's just the, it's the most beautiful medium. I just think it is so fun to do.

[Sadie Robertson]

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[Annie F. Downs]

Whoa.

[Sadie Robertson]

To save 10% off your first order. I agree. It is, like, very profound. I think that's been one of my favorite things of podcasting, is it switched. So used to whenever people would come up to me, they were like, oh, are you on Doug Dynasty? Are you from Dancing with the Stars? Or I follow you on Instagram. And it would be like a quick selfie and goodbye. Which is fine and great. But now it's just been, like, so powerful, because when people come up to me, it's like, I listen to your podcast, and in this episode, the Lord met me in this place, or that person said this, and it changed everything, and this is the reason why I pursued that. And, like, you're like, whoa. Like, it. It kind of makes you make sure to check your heart, that you go into every conversation. That's why, like, we prayed before we did your podcast. Then we turned around, did my podcast. I had to pray before because it's not even like a ritual of I have to pray before. It's like, I just want to bless every one of these conversations before knowing the weight that they carry. That, like, people are praying prayers right now that God's even maybe gonna answer through this podcast. You know, like. Like, God's speaking to them so intentionally through the things that they've been asking him for. You know, like, that's one of the co. And they're like, I was praying about that, and then that was the subject, or you said this. And it's so cool because, again, like, I'm a podcast fan, so I get that through the podcast I'm listening to, so I understand what they're saying when they're telling me that, because I'm like, I'm the same exact way. I remember when I started talking to Lisa Harper, I'm like, sorry, can I just tell you all the different podcasts that you've said that have, like, blessed me and helped me and taught me, and it's just so cool to get to have that kind of relationship with people through these really intimate and intentional conversations. And that sounds fun. You've done a great job of navigating how fun the podcast is with the spiritual depth, but I think that's just because it's who you are. And I would just give that advice to people who are wanting to write a book or start a podcast. I think a lot of people want to write a book or start a podcast for the sake of writing a book or starting a podcast, but I think the ones that last so long, like, Yours has lasted so long. Over 10 years. How long have you done your podcast?

[Annie F. Downs]

10. This is the 10th year. Exactly right.

[Sadie Robertson]

Years of all of these things. The reason why it's lasted and all the things is because it's true to who you are. It's overflow of who you are. It's what God's always had on your life to do. It's. It's. And so I think that, like, sometimes if you feel like you're striving to do something, it just might not be the right time to do it, you know, I think when it's the right time, it will come in that moment of. That sounds fun. Oh, wow. That sounds fun's a great podcast. For me. It was the same. I. I said a good piece of advice someone gave me. My mom said, whoa, that's good. And I went, whoa, that's a good idea for a podcast, you know.

[Annie F. Downs]

Right.

[Sadie Robertson]

I feel like it's kind of like the light bulb moment and the Lord leading in that way. You've done so many things, though. And like, I love how you said you simp. Yes, I've done all these things, but it's always who I've been. It's what I did when I taught elementary school. It's what I did when I did this Bible study with these girls. And now you've stepped into doing an Advent study, which we are gonna talk all about. I have it right here. Stay tuned for those. This. When this comes out, this might already be sold out, but you can do the. Is it the digital or the audio?

[Annie F. Downs]

Yeah, there's digital version, so it's an audio podcast. There's. So there's every day of Advent, every weekday we have an audio devotional, a video devotional, or. And there's a guidebook that goes with it. You can either get the PDF or a printed version.

[Sadie Robertson]

I love it. Which again, you are good at all of those versions of things, reading it, listening to all the things. So it makes so much sense. For those who have never done an Advent study, what is. What is an Advent study? What is Advent? Tell our listeners.

[Annie F. Downs]

So that I think that's what you're gonna love about where we're gonna go with this, Sadie, is So Advent is the season that leads up to Christmas. It is the season of anticipation. Usually it is four weeks this year because Thanksgiving is so late and because of how the calendar worked out and where Christmas sits, it's usually. I think it's usually the four Sundays before Christmas and where Christmas sits. That means it's only three weeks this year. So it's December 1st until December 24th. And December 1st is a Sunday. So that's when it starts. And. And really what happens every year, this is when you see people do Advent calendars. This is when you see people like, counting down until Christmas. It is one way to count down until Christmas. Christmas. The other thing people talk about a lot are the 12 days of Christmas. And technically that starts on Christmas Day. That starts on Christmas Tide, which is the next season. And it goes from Christmas Day until epiphany, which is January 6th. But Advent is the longer season of waiting that leads up to Christmas. I grew up in a Methodist church, and so I grew up knowing about Lent in Advent because it's, you know, a different family would go light the candle on Sunday. They were wearing a different. The pastors and preachers were wearing a different color robe. And. And it was countdown. But the thing that has been true for me my whole life is Advent is the season where they really teach you get excited about waiting. Like, get excited that Jesus is coming. Like, this is anticipation. And I'm 44 and I'm not married yet. And every year at Advent, Sadie, it comes around and I go like, I don't want to wait any. Did y'all miss the other 330 days that I'm waiting? Because I'm waiting. And honestly, everyone is married people are waiting, single people are waiting. But it has felt pretty profound to me to try to muster up the enjoyment of Advent and the enjoyment of anticipation and waiting in the midst of a life where I feel like I've been waiting for a long time.

[Sadie Robertson]

Dang friend, that's so. That. That is, like, so true. And honestly, I'm like, so thankful that you're saying that because it's so real. People are like, let's get excited about waiting. And in the holiday season, it's like, woo, fun and all the things. But it's like, hey, actually, like, this is really hard. And like, there's a lot of people walking through stuff like you mentioned in your singleness, where you're truly desiring something that isn't here yet. And that there is nothing fun about that.

[Annie F. Downs]

Like, I mean, think about the people who said last year at Christmas, by next year I bet we'll have a baby. By next year, I bet I will have met someone. By next year, I bet we can afford that new car. And so what happens is the holidays get here again and there is this, like, stamp on the calendar of. You said to yourself, I bet God will give me the thing I want by now, next year. And here it is. And you don't have the thing you want. And it can get really complicated with God.

[Sadie Robertson]

It's messy. I love how you said this Advent study is for professional waiters. So this, this, what you wrote about is from that place in your heart where you're like, it's hard stuff. It's like, you're not acting like the waiting is fun all the time.

[Annie F. Downs]

It's.

[Sadie Robertson]

It's not.

[Annie F. Downs]

I want to, because I still want to participate in Advent. Like, I. I want to learn. One of the reasons I wrote and we called it Stay Tuned for the exact It's Stay Tuned, an Advent series for those already waiting. Because, Sadie, I do want us to believe that the best is coming. And that doesn't mean you're gonna get everything you want. Nobody gets everything they want. Look at the end of Hebrews 12 where they're like. And all of them died not seeing what they wanted to see, right? Like, there's not this promise in the Bible that we all get what we want if we serve God with enough option, you know? And so, so the idea of Stay Tuned is like, okay, I bet this is painful. In fact, I know it is. There's parts of this that are painful also. What if we stay tuned to see what God might do? And so really, this particular study was about me when I wrote it in August. It was about me facing head on with. I want to participate in a season that means a lot to me, means a lot to my Christian brothers and sisters. It means a lot to our. Our global church. And it. And it is an important season of reflection with Christ. And I am not thrilled to be here again and the way that it is and to still be waiting. And so where those two collide is, is what I'm trying to do this year in Advent so I don't have to fake it like, I'm fine. But I also don't have to just throw away Advent because I'm unwilling to see the beauty in the season.

[Sadie Robertson]

Dang, that is so good. Because that's something that a lot of people, I feel like, aren't willing to live in that tension. But that's so true because I feel like we do kind of have this, like, rebellious generation in a sense. And it's not necessarily rebellious in all the bad ways, but rebellious. And it's like, okay, well, I'm mad, so I'm just not gonna do any of the offensive, and I just won't do that. And I Just own where I'm at. But it's like. It's like a sass to it, but it's like there's not a joy in it, you know, that's it.

[Annie F. Downs]

It's a sass with an undercurrent of hurt instead of an undercurrent of fun money.

[Sadie Robertson]

Yeah. And it's like, you make it sound kind of funny, but it's not. It's like there's pain there, it's hurt there. And that's okay to acknowledge, but there's also hope. And let's actually. Let's. And let's not fake it, but let's say why and why. It's very true that we can't have hope, man. Hebrews 12. I laugh when you said that because I remember reading that for the first time, and I'm such like a. I mean, I'm a little bit dramatic in the way that I talk and in the way that I read. And so I remember reading and being like, what? All of these people who, like, are the hall of Faith, people who did all the things that these stories are about died without receiving the promise, literally. But then it goes on to say some good stuff. I see you have your Bible. Please read it for us.

[Annie F. Downs]

Yeah, I just gotta read it. And it's. It's the very end of Hebrews 11:39. These were all commended for their faith. So for what they believed but did not see. So God commended them that he rewards them, he esteems them for their faith. Yet none of them received what had been promised. None of them received, but. And then it says God had planned something better for us.

[Sadie Robertson]

That's it.

[Annie F. Downs]

So that only together with us would they be made perfect. So you are celebrating. So. So also we want to say to people, if you are waiting for God to do something, keep believing he's going to do it. Like I want when I. In the world where I don't get married on Earth, I want to get to heaven and knock on the door and be like, it wasn't. Because I didn't ask. It's certain. Listen, this is on you. I believe, you know, I mean, I want us to believe because we actually get commended for our faith. Faith without works is dead. Right. But also the way you please God is your faith. Yeah, right. That is how you please Him. And so you're commended for your faith, even if you don't get what was promised. Which is a complicated thing to hear.

[Sadie Robertson]

It's a complicated thing to hear because so many people are, like, hanging onto all Your promises are yes and amen, which is true. However, they're thinking that their promises. Sometimes people hold God to promises that he didn't promise. And it's like more your expectation of what you thought God was going to give because of what you thought that version of promise looked like. I don't know about you, but I'm already thinking I am too late. Starting on all the holiday gifts, I'm like, okay, what am I gonna get everybody? The holiday holidays are a season where we spend extra time thinking about others and less about ourselves, which is so beautiful. And there is no better way to show your love than giving the gift of health. And that's where AG1 comes in. I've been drinking AG1 for about three years now, and I have felt so healthy since I've started. AG1 is a daily health drink that's just a single scoop that's packed with prebiotics, probiotics, adaptogens, and more. Mix it with cold water or drop it into a smoothie and your body has all that it needs to alleviate bloating, support your energy levels, combat stress, and aid in digestion. It is so simple, it's crazy. And right now, AG1 is running a special Black Friday offer for all of November. So it's the perfect time to score the perfect gift for you or a loved one. It is going to help you be a healthy version of you, which is the best gift to give yourself. AG1 really does have so many benefits. It's wild because this one scoop is giving you everything you need. The first time I drank AG1, I was like, wow, I literally feel so much better day one, which I think that's saying a lot. But hey, I'm getting all the vitamins I need, so I guess I would feel better. And especially when the holidays get busy and it's harder to stay healthy, keep an AG1 on routine is going to help you stay your best. So this holiday season, try AG1 for yourself or give it as a gift to someone special. It's the perfect time to focus on supporting your body with an easy and surprisingly delicious daily health drink. That's why I've been partnering with AG1 for so long. Every week in November, AG1 will be running a special Black Friday offer for a free gift with your first subscription in addition to the welcome kit with vitamin D3 plus K2. So make sure to check out drinkag1.comslo to see what gift you can get this week. That's drink ag1.com whoo. To start your holiday season off on a healthier note while supplies last.

[Annie F. Downs]

We lead that group here at called Single Purpose League, and we have about 2,000 people in our Single Purpose League, and it's all single Christians, mostly women. And I am telling you, one of the things we hear over and over is I thought God promised me that. That. And it is complicated because you're in a moment, you're in a relationship, you're in an experience, and you go, I heard God. And I want to believe that I heard God. I mean, the thing has just happened to me like that Sadie, where I said to my best friends, my gut is telling me something. I am going to honor her. I'm going to honor my gut and step forward. I'm not sure this is God, but it sounds like God, and so will y'all. Walk with me as I walk toward this. There's a chance I'm not right. But the problem is when we think we've got a promise from God and then that thing doesn't come through, or that guy marries someone else and has kids with someone else, or the job goes to someone else, we go. It becomes a God problem instead of us problem. And that requires a lot of work. And it's why you need community, like your grandmother, your great grandmother. Right. You've got to have people. You know, people, hey, this. I thought I heard God, and now I am really disappointed in, like, a level beyond a breakup. I'm like. I'm like a devastated level because this is a spiritual problem now, not just a relational problem.

[Sadie Robertson]

Man. Okay, let's hang on this for a minute, because I wrote this down. It's. One of your pinned posts, was a picture of you holding something that said pastoring singles. And then I read your caption. Talk to me about. I mean, obviously you've shared your own story, but, like, why is it so important that singles are pastored? And, like, obviously I know why it. Yes, but, like, speak into that a little bit more.

[Annie F. Downs]

Yeah. So one of the stats from barna is that 28% of the church is unmarried. So that means when you're sitting on a Sunday morning, one out of three people around you. So there's a couple and a single person and a couple and a single person and a couple and a single person. And that was not the case 20 years ago. That was. The numbers have just risen. And the numbers are rising nationally. In the US 40% of Americans are unmarried today. Whether that's never married, divorced, or widowed, and that is a large amount of people. And here's the thing, Sadie. None of our pastors, no pastor I've talked to, took a class in seminary on singleness. That was just not a thing they were taught. And a lot of pastors, when they decided I'm called into ministry, the next decision they made is then I need to get my. Because I need a wife to partner with me. So we've got these guys and some women leading churches, and they don't have the experience of being single, and they don't have the training of how to minister to single people. So they're doing the best they can. This is not a pastor problem. Our churches don't want to make singles feel unwelcome. They want them to feel welcome. But we are just a little bit of an alien species to them because they haven't been single since they were 20, and they haven't didn't get training about it. And so what happens, Sadie, is the pastors are trying. They're really trying. I genuinely believe that. That the church staff want single people to feel welcome. Singles are getting hurt or upset or mad that they aren't seen in their church. And instead of stepping in to the problem with the church staff, they leave or they complain from the back row. And so. So I'm really passionate about helping pastor pastors pastor singles. Well, because I'm a sing, and I'm a teaching pastor at Crosspointe Church in Nashville. So I am kind of a bridge between these two communities. And I'm hearing both of them saying, there is a problem here. How can we fix it? And I'm like, perfect. Y'all hear each other? Are you hearing each other? Yeah. You both wanna fix this. Pastors wanna fix this, but so do single people. Sadie. It says, wow, and then I'll stop, but I know.

[Sadie Robertson]

Keep going. This is so good. Annie.

[Annie F. Downs]

We did a survey with Single Purpose League, and we said, do you feel supported by your church? And 65% of the singles said no or not really, but. So that's a. That's a sad stat. But here's the fascinating one. We also said, where do you want to meet someone? Three of the top 10 places were in the church. So we're like, that is so interesting. You don't necessarily feel supported by your church, but you want to be there.

[Sadie Robertson]

You want to be there.

[Annie F. Downs]

You want to meet a partner there. And so the. The desire is there. They just don't feel supported yet. So we made that resource, the Pastoring Singles resource, that is just free for pastors, because I sat with some Married pastors, some single pastors. And I sent it to a bunch of single friends.

[Sadie Robertson]

Beautiful.

[Annie F. Downs]

And we went, make, help make this better. And it's like maybe five pages. And it's like, here's how to make sure your sermons are including single people. Here's how to help plan events. Here's some questions you should ask. Because there's also a deep thing, Sadie, of like, we need our pastors and us as people who go to church, you and I, we really need to assess our theology of singleness. Do we actually think, think single people are equal to married people? What do we think about a 40 year old guy who isn't married leading in the church versus a 40 year old guy who is married leading in the church? And most people don't think the same about them. And so we need to think about our theology of singleness. Is there actually two paths to an abundant life? And if so, can we trust that the single leaders around us are pursuing abundant life? Or do we think they're behind because they're not married, married yet?

[Sadie Robertson]

Man, that's so crazy too. Because biblically, my mind goes straight to obviously when Paul is like, I wish that you wouldn't get married because then you wouldn't be distracted and divided. And actually this is, you might remember this from our wedding. I was so embarrassed, but it, because it was so funny, the timing. But when we get down the aisle and my grandpa Phil was about to say prayer and he, you know, he could have gone to so many verses that he could have said in this moment, you know, about love or First Corinthians 13 or something like that. But no, he goes, brother Paul says it is best to not marry. At least you burn with passion. I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you just said that right as we're here in front of all our friends getting married. But I say that to say like the Bible is actually clear on that. He's like, single is. Paul would say better. I mean, you're not distracted your mind. And I remember praying that before I met Christian, I was kind of wrestling with that verse, actually before I married Christian. And I was like, God, I don't want to be distracted. Like, I don't want to be divided. I want, I want my heart to fully love you and serve you. And, and if we get married, when we get married, what does it look like to be married and to fully have like, you have my attention. And I just remember wrestling with that. But so I said to say the theology of it I don't know how that's even an argument or why we are, are quick to think that other than what culture has shaped us to be. But if you go to the word, that's just far off from where what it says, that's so interesting. Tell me about the league, because is everyone invited into that? Because there are single friends listening right now going, oh my gosh, I'm. This is the coolest conversation ever.

[Annie F. Downs]

It's very fun. Yeah. So it's called the Single purpose [e-mail] and currently, as we, as we go through Advent, you can't join, but we'll, we'll have it open in January for people to join.

[Sadie Robertson]

Okay.

[Annie F. Downs]

So, but it, it's just this really sweet community. I mean, like, we're all going Dollywood in a couple of weekends. Like, we're just meeting up at Dollywood, a couple hundred of us, and it's just a fun. And you know what's ended up happening, Sadie. And this actually happens with Ello girls too, with the Ello sisters is they had like, they're. There are Single Purpose League members getting together for friendsgivings.

[Sadie Robertson]

It's the best.

[Annie F. Downs]

And they're like, they, they're meeting up without us because a portion of the group doesn't want to get married. They just want communication community. Now, we sometimes talk about dating and we talk like this month we're talking about money. We have a different topic every month, and this month we're talking about money. And some people want to talk about how do I save up so that I can be single the rest of my life? And some people are like, hey, I thought I'd be married by now. Am I gonna have to buy another car? I thought I was getting a car by now, you know, and so it's been a, it's a really sweet group. Yeah, it's a really good community. They're, they take care of each other. And Sadie, I'll tell you the whole truth, you know, this about me. This is not what I wanted to do.

[Sadie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Annie F. Downs]

You know, like, this is what I wanted to do. But about a year and a half ago, we, I, I, we did a dating series on that sounds fun called Summer Lovin. And at the beginning of it, I did an Instagram reel and I said, hey, are you single? I just wanted to make sure people that were dating knew we were doing the series. Hey, are you single? Could I have your email address? I just want to tell you something. That's what I said. We expected and hoped for about a thousand email addresses in that first week. Sadie. By the end of the first week, we had 20,000 email addresses.

[Sadie Robertson]

Whoa.

[Annie F. Downs]

And it was like the Lord had to, like, put a flag in front of my face of like, there are a lot of people doing work for single Christians. But what that moment said to me was, hey, annie, there are 20,000 single people who want to hear from you and want to. And that. Sadie, there's really something profound about doing work that matters, even if you aren't. Even if it still hurts a little bit. You know, I mean, I think of any of our friends who are, who are wanting to have kids and are still helping babysit their nieces and nephews, or people who are really struggling financially, but they're still giving to their church. Like, when you give from a place of lack, God really does something. And so the pastoring resource. Stay tuned. Advent series, Single Purpose League. It is all from my lack. And it's been the kindness of God to see it matter to so many people. But that's. It is all from a place of God. Please don't make me do this. Like, and he doesn't make us do anything. That's not his heart. But I still said that. I mean, I still prayed that at some point, you know.

[Sadie Robertson]

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[Annie F. Downs]

Yeah. Isn't that funny to pick Psalm 1 to do an Advent study? I'm like, sorry, everybody, we're gonna spend three weeks not in the birth of Jesus necessarily, but we do have in the guidebook, in the stay tuned guidebook, there is a Jesus verse every day. Because I did want to. I still want us to be anticipating the birth of Christ. But yeah, verse three of this, I'll just read Psalm 1, 1 through 3 to people real quick so it can be fresh on their minds if that's. That's okay.

[Sadie Robertson]

Yeah, please do.

[Annie F. Downs]

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers. And we go through what each of those are in the study and why it matters. And sitting in the seat of mockers, dude, that messed with me for days. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. And that is, like, complicated, right? The truth of the gospel can be really complicated because whatever he does prospers is not anybody's lived experience. And so you go like, well, that isn't even true of the high school football team I watched on Friday night that we wanted to win. They lost. And so they. What they did didn't prosper in the way we understand. But this is why Stay Tuned matters so much as a phrase. I mean, I gave a keychain with Stay Tuned to everyone on our staff. I mean, I am like, vibing on this phrase because it has impacted me so much. If it is true that whatever we do prospers and we're all trees planted. And so you're right. I thought I'd be a wife and a mom kind of trend tree. I thought that was what was gonna happen. And that has not been what's happened yet. And so I go, okay, so what kind of tree am I? Like, that's why there. This spoiler. That's why there's pears everywhere, is. Cause you think you're gonna be one kind of fruit, and you end up being a totally different kind of fruit and having totally different fruit yield in the right season. But we really get to wrestle in Advent with whatever he does prospers. How can that be true when I'm still waiting on God? And the spoiler is, it can be true because you don't know how the story ends. This story isn't over yet. Your story's not over yet. My story's not over yet. I mean, we cannot make any judgment decisions about whether the Bible is true or not while we are still breathing. Because the story is not over. We gotta stay tuned and see what God's gonna do. Because if it is true that whatever we do prospers and our leaves do not win wither, well, I gotta. I gotta stick around and see why that. How that's gonna end up being true.

[Sadie Robertson]

That's so good. I'm like, yes, this is so good. I'm personally sitting here, like, having my own meditation and Bible study with the Lord. I feel like I'm listening to this podcast, not really a part of this podcast in the best way, because I'm like, that is so good. And I feel like one thing I've heard you say so much in this episode is like, I wrestled with God. I have to wrestle with that. You have to wrestle with that. People got to learn how to wrestle with God. You got to learn how to wrestle with God. You have to learn how to not just read a verse and go, okay, I'm going to try to believe that, but I don't feel it. And actually go like, okay, I actually. I don't know how to believe that right now. So, God, help me understand how that's true. And a lot of times it does take you to zoom way out and go, well, it's because this story isn't over. We're living in it. That Jesus died, rose again, went back to heaven. One day is coming back. We're not there yet. And when he does, like, there's so much greater to come. There's eternity to come. So, like, you're living in the midst of it. So, yeah, there's a wrestle. Yeah, there's, like, a lot to come that you really do stay in tune for. I can see why this word is meaning everything. Stay tuned is going to be like, in my mind now.

[Annie F. Downs]

We got to. Right? We've got to. But you do not have to let go of the celebrations or the grieving. Right? Because, like, you know, this part of my story. But my sister and her husband had a baby that died two years ago. He died after two months. And. And so while that story is not over, that's a death, as far as we understand it, is a real final thing. And so we still. For this side of heaven, there's no world where TJ Is going to grow up with me. Right? Like, we will not see him grow up as a kid. Kid. But I just have to believe, because Scripture says that that even this isn't the end of the story, that there's more to this story that we don't see yet. But it is the thing. I don't want people to hear you and I saying. Which you were not saying, but I'm also. I'm not saying is, well, then you can't be. Don't. Don't grieve. Don't be sad. Just hang on.

[Sadie Robertson]

No, I can cry about it.

[Annie F. Downs]

I can cry it out.

[Sadie Robertson]

Of course you can.

[Annie F. Downs]

Yeah.

[Sadie Robertson]

Human is human.

[Annie F. Downs]

You can still hold all those things. You can still hold grand grief 100%. Still be believing that you are a tree planted by streams. Who leaves will not wither and everything you do will prosper.

[Sadie Robertson]

Yes, that's what I mean. It, it, it is a rustle because both are true. Because it does hurt, because it is unfair, because it is the worst and what you didn't expect and it's. You're going to cry about it, but that doesn't also mean that there isn't hope. And again, I think that's what our generation has a hard time doing. You just throw it all out with the wind and it's like, no, don't throw it all out. When, like wrest it, like dive into it, dig into it. And. And God is like, he's the God of all comfort. And you know, you talk about, there's that verse like, weep with those who rejoice with those who rejoice. And sometimes at the same time, you can be both of those people, you know, like you can be the one weeping and somehow the one rejoicing. And that's a part of life. I'm so glad that you shared that and you touched on that. Yeah. Welcome to being human is so true. I would like to go through Hebrews 11. I need, I'm going to go do this. And making a mental note and a out loud note to myself because so many of those people, like they had so many highs and lows and they were human. And I mean David, of course you can read his highs and lows and like they were wrestling it out with the Lord too. And yet like all of those things ended without all the promises that they thought. But yet what does that look like for them for eternity? And what does it look like for me?

[Annie F. Downs]

So I'll just encourage our friends listening. Speaking of wrestling with God, you know, Jacob is the one who wrestled with God and God like busted up his hip and he lived for the rest of his life. The last time a person is mentioned in the Bible is really important. Important. And Jacob, the last time he is mentioned is Hebrews 11. So everyone needs to go read that. We'll just send them on a little scavenger hunt. The last thing we know about Jacob and the little sentence about him tells you a thousand things about his life and how God redeemed a bunch of stories. So Hebrews 11, y'all go look it up, go find Jacob. It's the last thing we know about Jacob. And it'll just bring tears to your eyes. It's beautiful. Wow.

[Sadie Robertson]

I'm so excited. And like I've read Hebrews 11, but I don't remember what it says. I wasn't paying attention to that. So I'm like, oh my gosh, as soon as we get off this, I'm going to go read that. And everyone else, if you need to pause this episode to go read it, go read it right now. If you don't like, if you don't want to spoiler, then wait till the end and then we'll all go find it together. But one thing I want to end with is kind of like two questions I've kind of had on my heart. Because you've studied singleness, you've lived it too. You have so much knowledge about it. You also have the personal experience, that experience with it. Can you encourage those who are single listening to this podcast podcast right now? Like, what do you just want to tell them as you know someone who's sitting in your seat right now, you've obviously said so much about what you're working, what you're doing, so much good advice already, but just a little encouragement to where they're at in their life. Because this is so unique that someone like you, who is such a studier of the word, such a well spoken communicator, can speak into that season of their life.

[Annie F. Downs]

Yeah, Foreign.

[Sadie Robertson]

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[Annie F. Downs]

I'll tell you two quick things. One is I would not trade it. I wouldn't trade it if God offered me. Would you like to go back and do this different and get married when you're younger? I actually wouldn't at this point. The story he has written, when he says more than you could ask or imagine, that's tough for me cause I can imagine a lot. I have a very good imagination and he still has surprised me at every turn. And the other thing that is really profoundly beautiful for single people is God says in Isaiah that he is your husband. And if you want to start saying God, you said, you're my husband, help me. Am I? I mean, we have these testimonies from girls in Single Purpose League. We talked about this one time and they were. One girl was like, like my car was broken and it fixed miraculously. And another girl was like, my dishwasher wasn't working. And I prayed and it fixed. I mean there's like miracle stories. When you go to scripture and you say God, you said, you are a provider provide God, you said, I mean, he loves being reminded. And so, I mean, he says, remember all the time in the Bible, he loves being reminded too. And so I will say to God, I feel unsafe cause I'm in my house by myself maybe. And I'll go, hey, husbands, protect. So would you protect me?

[Sadie Robertson]

Wow.

[Annie F. Downs]

Because. And so I would just encourage people to start living that verse. True.

[Sadie Robertson]

Beautiful.

[Annie F. Downs]

And the last thing I'd say is, you, you said this really beautifully. When you're talking about what Paul said about being single and. And a couple of years ago, I won't use your time to tell you the whole story, but a couple of years ago, I had a really profound encounter with God at an if gathering. And I felt like the Lord kind of invited me to live by under this question of if the gospel goes further, if I stay single, am I willing to do that? And as you can imagine, that kind of sentence spun me out. I came back and talked to my mentor. We were in Dallas or wherever. I came back, talked to my mentor, talked to my pastor, talked to my counselor. I mean, I was like, is this God saying I have to be single forever? Is this God saying I have to Be single forever. And instead, what it has. Well, I don't know if that's. That's the answer. Stay tuned. I have no idea if I'm gonna be single forever, but what I do know is that sentence, if the gospel goes further, if I stay single, am I willing to. Shapes every dating relationship I walk toward. Because I just go like, hey, so for today, this exact day that we're recording, and most likely the day people are listening, unless I have a crazy week, the gospel goes further through my life if I'm not married. And so thanks be to God that somehow today, this conversation you and I had, the conversation we had for. That sounds fun. The other things I put my hands to today impact the kingdom more today because I'm single. And for you, Sadie, they impact the kingdom more today because you're married. And so. So in every dating relationship, when it starts to fall apart, which, spoiler alert, they all have so far, I go like. Like, it still makes me cry. It's still very hard. It's all the things. And also, the sentence goes, well, if that's not the guy that the gospel goes further with, I don't want him. I only want the guy that is gonna do more. And a lot of. I want a lot of other things than a husband, but in a partner. I want someone that the Lord goes, hey, you remember me asking you if the gospel would go further if you stayed single? Not anymore. Now it goes further with him than without him. And so until that comes along, this is exactly who I want to be.

[Sadie Robertson]

That's good. That is so good. What it. What I hear you saying that's so powerful, too, is like. It is like, you're single and you desire marriage. Absolutely. But you're not desperate for it. Like, you could get married to someone if anybody wanted married, if they wanted to get married. But it's like, that's not the point. It's not just that you want to get married for the sake of getting married. You have a vision for it. You have a hope for it. But at the end of the day, like, what is going to spread the gospel more? And you're willing to lay that at the feet of Jesus and say, like, I only want marriage if it's actually going to grow your kingdom more, like, that's beautiful. And like, yeah, you want other things too, because again, we're human and you desire those things, but ultimately, like, that shaping it. And I think that's so beautiful that you can get to a place of singleness that you truly desire it but you're not desperate for it. And you can make so many more wise decisions from that place than desperation. I want to ask you on the flip side of the question to your married friends and friends that are in relationships when. When. And even for me, like, as a podcast host, you, like, we talk about relationships all the time. What's something you wish people were more sensitive to when they talk about singleness? Because I think tone does matter and, like, questions. But is there something that you're like, I wish people wouldn't act like that when you talk about singleness.

[Annie F. Downs]

No, I mostly want singles to have a little bit thicker skin because we should let people talk about marriage and dating and not take it personal. Like, they don't see us. And so often I want to be like, no, we. We want to hear it about that. That's cool. So I don't. I. Nothing comes to my mind of. Of what we need necessarily in conversation. But I will tell you the thing. I hear a lot and the thing that matters a lot to me is when my married friends think of me when they're trying to set someone up or if they meet a new single guy. And so. And. And it just requires really high communication between singles and married of going like, hey, Sadie, I'm not dating anybody today. If you met someone and he was in my age bracket. Bracket, would you think of me?

[Sadie Robertson]

Yeah.

[Annie F. Downs]

Or the married person calling you. Calling me and going, hey, Annie, I was speaking at this church, and the pastor's single. Are you interested in being set up right now? And then I get to say, actually, I'm just recovering from a thing, so not today, but thank you for thinking of me or, yeah, girl, let's roll. And so it's just a high. So. So maybe that's a conversation, Sadie, that would be fun to have at some point. On, Whoa, that. Whoa, that's good. Is kind of having some married and singles talk together about, like, what does it look like to have really high communication between your friendship so that singles feel seen and married people feel permission to talk about their sex lives and their parenting lives and their. And their, like, financial life and their things with their husbands without going, oh, I can't complain that my husband didn't empty the dishwasher because Annie has to empty a dishwasher by herself. Yeah, A. That is still a problem for you, whether it's true for my dishwasher or not. And so. And I want to be in friendship with people who are married. And so I want to hear that. That stuff. I also Want you to think of me next time you meet a 40 year old who's not married girl.

[Sadie Robertson]

You know I will. You know I will. And there might be some 40 year old listening to this podcast right now. And if you're like that is the woman of my dreams then right, maybe shoot a dm. I don't know if any reason my.

[Annie F. Downs]

DMS are shaped like a slide, just come on in.

[Sadie Robertson]

I love you so much. I am genuinely just so thankful for who you are, how you steward your platform and just sharing you with the world. It is a true gift. You teach so much with the words that you say, but the life you live is something that I learned from just as much as the words that you say. If you listen to this podcast, I used to do this whenever I was learning how to speak. I would watch speakers speak and what I would do is I'd like watch Priscilla Shire and the first time I'd receive it for the words that she said. But then I'd watch it again to look at how she said it because that was how I was learning how to like use analogies and actually like how did that connect with scripture and not take away but add to all the different things. I feel like this is one of those podcasts that made me think of that because you could listen to this podcast and listen to the words you say and write down the notes and it's one thing, but then if you listen to it again from just the posture that you hold and that you carry in the way that you live, you would take a whole nother set of notes from that. And so thank you for living such a powerful life and with so much authenticity. It's beautiful. I love you and thank you for coming back on the wo that Skip podcast.

[Annie F. Downs]

Thanks friend. Love you, Ra.