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Sadie Robertson
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Willie Robertson
32.
Sadie Robertson
32.
Uncle Si Robertson
40 for me this year.
Sadie Robertson
Wow.
Uncle Si Robertson
Next week be 40 years.
Sadie Robertson
That's incredible. Uncle sigh.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Well, 71. So it's 50 something. 50 something. 53 or 54.
Sadie Robertson
I thought you were saying 71 years of marriage. I was like, I think you're off.
Uncle Alan Robertson
What, April 70, 71. When I actually got out from under contract with the United States of America Army. Okay. And then when I went before the judge, I had to get him to throw out all the three day waiting periods and all this junk, you know. He said, wait a minute, son, hold. You just got out of a four year contract with the military and you fix the sign one for a lifetime. I said, yeah, if you'll do the paperwork and okay. At the, you know, waive the days, you know. So he did. He said, okay. All right.
Willie Robertson
Could you not do them both. Could you not be in the military and get married?
Uncle Alan Robertson
Well, no, no.
Willie Robertson
I was on your contract, okay?
Uncle Alan Robertson
I got out from one to one and then signed one for.
Willie Robertson
I just didn't know if it was like, you had to wait until you got out back.
Uncle Si Robertson
I wondered about this advice, you know, I had to wait until I got out of the old contract. Zach, you weren't married to all these new contracts. Z, you do know you weren't married to the US Military, right?
Uncle Alan Robertson
Well, they thought I was. Okay? That was on their part. You know, bad thinking. You know, I didn't live and, you know, dream this mess. You know, I just, you know, I got drafted. You know, I'm like Ron White when he said, hey, I didn't get drunk in public, I got drunk in the bar and they threw me in public. That's the way I was with the military.
Willie Robertson
That's his marriage advice.
Sadie Robertson
That's your marriage advice?
Uncle Si Robertson
I'll tell you what, Sandy.
Sadie Robertson
So how many years do we decide you've been married for? You got married?
Willie Robertson
He's unsure.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Samuel? 1. Do the math, boy.
Willie Robertson
It's just a question mark.
Uncle Si Robertson
It would be 50.
Willie Robertson
Do the math. He's 71.
Uncle Alan Robertson
I mean, I'm 76.
Sadie Robertson
53 years. That's incredible. So we have 50.
Uncle Alan Robertson
What are you talking about?
Uncle Si Robertson
He got married in 71.
Willie Robertson
Oh, the year was 70. Okay.
Uncle Alan Robertson
I thought you were saying 1971.
Sadie Robertson
Okay. 54 years, though, is incredible. 40 years, 32 years. So you guys can see now why I have y'all on the podcast. This is, like, a lot of advice that you guys have to give. I mean, it really is incredible. And something that I'm so inspired by to look up to so many people in our family with.
Uncle Alan Robertson
The whole key to it is learn to say yes, ma'am at a very early stage in the marriage.
Sadie Robertson
Learn to say yes, ma'am.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Yeah, that's right. It saved you a lot of heartaches and a lot of, you know, a lot of presents, a lot of flowers. You know, just learn to say, yes, ma'am. You're right. Go ahead.
Sadie Robertson
Well, hey, that's good advice, because people ask what your best piece of marriage advice would be, and so would you say that that's one of your best pieces?
Uncle Alan Robertson
One of the best ones?
Sadie Robertson
I love that.
Uncle Alan Robertson
The next one. Okay, no, let me rephrase you. That's the second one. The first one is, okay. Do you have a relationship with the Creator? That would be Jesus Christ, the Messiah.
Sadie Robertson
Okay, tell me that's the first. That's Good. Tell me how you feel like. Because there's a lot of listeners to your podcast who are believers and a lot who maybe aren't believers and haven't seen marriage last, you know, 53 years in their life. They haven't seen anyone in their family's marriage last that long. How do you feel like your relationship with the Creator, with the Messiah has actually impacted your long lasting marriage?
Uncle Alan Robertson
Hey, it's everything.
Sadie Robertson
It's good.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Okay. Because you know, I was sitting, watching TV today, listening to Christian pop music, okay. And I was thinking about the whole world. We're very unappreciative. Okay? Number one, God created all this wonderful creation for us, okay? All the food that's there for us, you know, the fish, the mammals, the fruit, the vegetables, okay? And most people don't even think about that. You know, all of that was here for you to begin with, okay? It was there. You didn't have to go look for it. It was given to you, you know, and all of it is a gift. You can't pay it back. You can't earn it. All of it's a gift.
Willie Robertson
I'm also thankful for TVs to watch Christian pop music on, something else to be told.
Uncle Alan Robertson
No, no, I'm serious. There is not enough appreciation because we've got. The United States of America is the greatest country on earth, okay? Anytime you drive by somebody's house and there's three and you automobile sitting in the. And then they're going, woe is me. Yeah. 90% of the country is obese. Okay, okay, look.
Willie Robertson
I'm laughing at obese.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Well, I'm going to stop saying obesity at 65 too. That's the real.
Uncle Si Robertson
Well, you've got obese and then you've got obese.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Well, no, no, but I'm just.
Willie Robertson
That's not part of that either. You're not part of that.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You really don't.
Willie Robertson
Only in this country can a man have a turb wide trailer with a dagum American flag on the top of.
Uncle Si Robertson
It that should be seen from space.
Willie Robertson
Look at, look at it from the satellite. You'll see his red, white and blue baby.
Uncle Alan Robertson
All I got.
Sadie Robertson
I love what you're saying. The one thing we have been really trying to teach Honey is gratitude. I think we probably say to honey at least 10 times a day, are you grateful? Are you grateful to do that? And then she'll be like, yes, I'm grateful. Or even before she'll be like, hey, mommy, can I have a popsicle? Because I'm grate. But we're just trying to teach her. Like, you should be grateful for the things you have and the opportunities that we get to be a part of because it is a gift. And it's so easy to just, you know, think that's normal or think that's life. But no, you gotta be grateful. This is something that's not promised to us every day.
Uncle Si Robertson
And I wanna say something about Cy and Christine's relationship because obviously I was around early to watch them. And Cy had been in the military for 24 and a half years.
Uncle Alan Robertson
24 and a half, yeah.
Uncle Si Robertson
And had, what, four tours at least overseas. You in Germany?
Uncle Alan Robertson
I spent 12 and a half years in Europe.
Uncle Si Robertson
All right, so. So half of that time, one in Vietnam, half of that time in Europe. And so it's. It's. And I'll say this for all military families, me just watching. Psych. Christine, it is not an easy life to have somebody gone for months or even a year at a time to come home, to take care of kids, to move your whole family without your husband being there.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Look, Christine did all that on her own.
Uncle Si Robertson
I know it. And so that's why I'm saying I.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Would just leave, okay? She would take care of all.
Uncle Si Robertson
And that's. I've always appreciated. I mean, you know, 54 years of marriage would be amazing for anybody, but for a military family, so I think it's even more amazing.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Yeah, it is. Because it's. It, you know, it's a strain. Cause, okay, like, I missed a lot of my kids stuff, okay. And I always said I thought I was a horrible father until Christine, when I would say that when I was down on myself and having a pity party, she'd break out the photo album. So. Well, hey, what about this right here? What about this? You know, they got me. And I don't know if everybody's ever seen, you know, I was Easter bunny, a six foot three pink Easter bunny in full costume, okay? Delivering eggs to all the kids. Okay? So stuff like that. She would break out the photo album and say, well, I know you don't. When you was home, you was home all the way. Okay? It was, you know, I'm all in.
Sadie Robertson
In other words, it makes me think of that verse, like, two are better than one, you know? And it talks about, like, pity a man who falls and has no one to pick him up. And like, it's those moments in marriage where you really see that verse come to life because you're down on yourself.
Uncle Alan Robertson
People, if you haven't been affiliated with the military, they have no idea what sacrifice the wife goes through when her man goes off to war, goes and has to go places. Okay. Because she's got to be both mom and dad then.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Yeah. So it's. Yeah, it's a tough goal. And a lot of marriages are caused lost because of that, because of stress that's put on them for being alone. Cause, hey, two can fight better than one. You can turn back to back and see them coming from every direction. Okay. By yourself. Okay. They can slip up on you.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah, it's good. That's so beautiful. You know, Uncle Ellen, you and Lisa were just on the podcast recently, and that has been one of our biggest podcasts. Not even just in numbers of people listening to, but just the response people have had just learning so much from your story and your marriage. So that was kind of what inspired me to bring y'all back and talk about relationship advice. I know you gave a lot of advice on that podcast, but what are some of those things that you look at and go like, man, this is the best piece of advice I could give after, you know, 40 years of marriage, y'all. With two toddlers, a three year old and a one year old, sleep is, you know, sometimes rare, but it's so important when you get it. Good sleep is such a difference maker when it comes to mental and physical health. And thankfully, Helix is here for it. Fam. Christian and I have a Helix midnight mattress that we were matched with whenever we took the super simple Helix sleep quiz. We love it because it is not too firm or not too soft. It's kind of right there in the middle, perfect for both of us. And we're side sleepers, so you know what, they even take that into account. Ever since I got my Helix mattress, I truly sleep so much better. I sleep so great. I'm not waking up with aches and pains. And in fact, whenever we travel now, I like, can't wait to get back home into our bed because it is the most comfy. Which said a lot because hotel beds are nice sometimes. But nope, our bed is the best. Helix is awesome. Having a Helix for the past three years has legit given me some of the best night's sleep of my life. And that saying a lot with toddlers. It conforms so perfectly to my body while I sleep. You don't have to toss and turn. You just are comfy right when you get in. No mattress can compare. Like I said, right now you can get 25 off site wide plus 2 free dream pillows with any purchase. So any mattress Purchase, you're going to get two free dream pillows. But if you also order a Luxe or an elite mattress, you'll not only get that, you'll get a free bedding bundle, which includes the two dream pillows plus a sheet set and mattress protector. So this is a great deal. Go to helixsleep.comSadie Again, that's helixsleep.comSadie to check it out today and get some better sleep.
Uncle Si Robertson
Well. And as you know, because we shared it on your podcast, our marriage was just sort of had. It's not two halves, but it's 15 and 25. I mean, there were. There were two really different marriages because the first one was a lot of struggle. You know, Jesus wasn't a part of our heart, even though we were right there in the church, kind of hiding in plain sight. And then when Lisa finally made a full all in move to God, you know, obviously everything changed for us as we talked about. But so my advice comes more off the last 25 years is when you both finally get in the same lane and you're both finally going for the same goals is really just to be there and help each other in that journey. I mean, Lisa's amazing. She does so much to encourage me just by the way she is. And a lot of things I'm not good at. She is. And so we do that together. I mentioned on your podcast that the first advice I got was never compliment bad cooking because you'd eat it the rest of your life. And it's funny because your dad's here now, and I don't know if dad told him that as well, but since your mom can't cook, I guess in his case it was be prepared to cook for your marriage. Right? Because that's what happened. I mean, didn't have to worry about compliment bad. It just never really took off.
Sadie Robertson
Never took off.
Uncle Alan Robertson
That's the greatness of marriage, darling. I'll use a wagon with horses. Two horses. Okay. Your first few years was rocky, okay, because y'all was harnessed, you was married, but you was pulling different directions. You wasn't working as a team. Then when things got right, when God moved in and got the marriage got right, then it wasn't pulling two directions.
Uncle Si Robertson
Well, the way we describe it, size, we say the first 15 years of our marriage, we were playing tennis, but we were on. We were playing singles tennis.
Sadie Robertson
Wow. Yeah.
Uncle Si Robertson
And then the last 25 years, we decided to pay doubles and our enemies were on the other side, but we were now engaged together as part of the.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You were Talking about smack. Take that. Smack. Take that.
Uncle Si Robertson
Well, I wasn't there smacking it with the rackets, huh?
Uncle Alan Robertson
No, no. And it was together.
Uncle Si Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Take that, you evil one. Get out of my house.
Uncle Si Robertson
Look, that's why it's basically combined tennis and MMA fighting.
Sadie Robertson
Just in case you're a visual Learner.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You'D ask Ms. K if she was here right now, okay? You got to fight for your marriage.
Sadie Robertson
That's true.
Uncle Si Robertson
That's our line.
Sadie Robertson
That is true.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Because, look, it's just like a garden, okay? If you're gonna want good vegetables in your garden, then you're gonna have to prune, pull the bad weeds and throw them away and out, you know? And then you're gonna have to nurture your garden. Well, your relationship. Marriage, relationship. You gotta nurture it.
Sadie Robertson
That's great. You're good with analogies. I think that's like the tenth analogy he's given on this podcast. Seriously.
Uncle Alan Robertson
The battle rages. Okay? That's why I was saying, hey, smack him, yo. Cause it does. The battle's raging here, guys. The evil one. Hey. And guess what? He attacked. He attacked the family unit.
Sadie Robertson
It's very true. All right, Dad, 32 years into marriage, what's some of the best relationship advice you have?
Willie Robertson
God, they gave all the good ones, so they're gonna be hard to beat. Way behind in this race.
Uncle Si Robertson
Gotta dip into the psy analogy bag.
Sadie Robertson
Well, he's got more analogies.
Willie Robertson
I mean, I've always said, try to give more than you take. And so just from my mentality, it's kind of like back when we used to have things called checkbooks. And me and Si still.
Uncle Si Robertson
Have.
Willie Robertson
You still got a checkbook?
Uncle Alan Robertson
Yeah. That's one I'm still struggling with.
Sadie Robertson
Do you know, the other night we ordered pizza and the guy shows up at the door, and I'm like, mom, do you have cash? And she's like, do you take a check? And he's like, no. That was this week.
Uncle Si Robertson
A check.
Willie Robertson
1996. Did you take a check?
Sadie Robertson
She was about to write him a check for the pizza.
Willie Robertson
Yeah. Good thing he. Yeah. What was she gonna do next?
Uncle Alan Robertson
Barter?
Sadie Robertson
She ended. I said, I'll just call and give him my.
Willie Robertson
We'll trade you some eggs and cheese and whale blubber.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Hey, look around. Look around. Do you see anything?
Sadie Robertson
If you like, it was funny, cuz she was kind of like, far away and I was at the door, and she's like, ask him if he takes a check. And I'm thinking like, he doesn't take a check. And I'm like, do you take a check by any chance? He's like, no. And I'm like, all right, I'm just gonna have to call. And then mom was like, I found cash and came running it.
Willie Robertson
I don't know what this says about our marriage. I didn't know she had a check. I didn't know.
Uncle Si Robertson
Maybe this seems to be a counsel.
Willie Robertson
She has a. She has a checkbook, but, you know, she never has cash.
Sadie Robertson
That is true. I was surprised she pulled out.
Willie Robertson
I wasn't there, obviously, because I am the bank.
Sadie Robertson
It is true. You weren't there because we ordered pizza. His mom wasn't, which means I'm not there, which means you weren't there. Okay. But back to the checkbook.
Willie Robertson
Yeah. So I never did balance it just because I never could figure that out. But I would always just know I've got to put more in than I spend. And so you just kind of had this knowing. And so I feel like that's marriage, as well as where you're. You're giving and not just taking. Because there'll be times where you'll tend to take way too much. And just like a checking account, you can overdraft that sucker, you know, and then you'll have problems. And down the road, if that happens. I also like the teamwork. I mean, I think when you figure out how to work as a team. I love that. I actually love that tennis.
Sadie Robertson
It's actually really good. Yeah.
Willie Robertson
Definitely been there before. Where you tend to fight against instead of fighting together. And also, I think, you know, for us especially, is just try not to take yourselves too seriously and laugh and have fun. You gotta, you know, you gotta have fun. Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You're gonna do stupid stuff sometimes.
Willie Robertson
Cause everything's so serious, you know, in life. And so I think sometimes we can get too serious.
Uncle Alan Robertson
And so sometimes life is too short to be miserable.
Willie Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You know, I like what you said at the beginning. Keep it positive.
Sadie Robertson
So true.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Okay. Keep your relationship as far as it is up to you. Keep it positive. Laugh a lot and smile a lot. Okay.
Uncle Si Robertson
Yeah. The material, we.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Worst thing you can do is go through life miserable.
Uncle Si Robertson
Yeah.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Si Robertson
We use material still to this day. Well, it's been around a few years that Bill Harley did, and it's called the love bank model. And it's just what you were describing. I mean, it's a bank analogy about when you're putting more love into the relationship instead of pulling out all the time, you're going to build up a bank that's Going to be there for the difficult times. You go through the rough seasons, just hack your bank account. It's got to work.
Uncle Alan Robertson
That's God's thing. Because, hey, what did he say? He said, it's better to give than receive. The giver always gets more than the receiver.
Uncle Si Robertson
Always.
Uncle Alan Robertson
He always does.
Sadie Robertson
I love that y'all are talking about laughing at yourself, and I feel like all of you guys are really good at laughing at yourself. I think that's like a Robertson strength. And something that's really valuable in our family is the ability to laugh and not take yourself too seriously, not take life too seriously. And I remember Christian and I got some marriage advice before we stepped into marriage, and they said, there will be a moment in an argument where you're both mad and everything's heated and someone does something kind of funny. You know, it's like you say something that, like, didn't actually make sense, or something happened, happens externally that's funny. And it's like your pride tells you, do not laugh. Do not laugh. Like, hold it serious, because you're gonna be mad. And the person was like, just laugh. Like, just. Just let the argument break. And there has been times in our marriage where it's like, everything's heated and it really does happen, where somebody would do something just kind of stupid. And, like, it is hard to laugh in those moments, but allowing yourself to kind of laugh does help a lot.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Laughter is a good medicine, okay? Because if you're having a bad, serious argument, screaming at each other, and you. Most of the times, if you clear your head and look, step back and look at what you're arguing about or screaming about. It ain't worth the effort you've put into it, but it was sheer stupidity to begin with.
Sadie Robertson
That's the kind of arguments I'm talking about. Obviously, there are bigger moments. So there are some stupid arguments. You start, and then you're like, we are literally fighting over the fact that there's tomato sauce on the carpet. Like, it can be the dumbest stuff. But this is kind of funny this week. Christian might make me take this out of the podcast, but this is just hilarious timing. So we have been just, like, just not seeing eye to eye this week. We were just frustrated each other so often. Well, I don't know if y'all noticed notices, but Christian has been growing, like, a really good beard, and his beard was looking good. But in my mind, I'm like, I think the beard's the problem. I think. I think the beard is, like, making you, like, too Serious or something. Like, I don't know if it's like, boost your testosterone or, like, so proud of it. Yes. What has happened? So I'm just, like, thinking in my head, like, I think he needs to shave. Like, I think. I think we need, like, a fresh start. And so we're on a walk and I'm like, I think you should shave your beard. Which honey said something first that kind of gave me, like, the opening. Honey is like, daddy, you should shave your beard. And I'm like, yeah, you should shave your beard. And he's like, you think I should shave my beard? That you've been saying it looks good. I'm like, yeah, but I think. I think we just need, like, a fresh start. Like, I think that the beard is just, like, making you take yourself too seriously or something. And he goes, do you know that's why I shaved my beard three years ago? And I was like, what? He's like, you said the same thing to me three years ago when I had a beard. And I was like, it is the beard that proves my point and said this.
Uncle Si Robertson
That's what's wrong with all of us.
Sadie Robertson
No, he shaved his beard.
Uncle Alan Robertson
I promise you more than my toe you moments.
Sadie Robertson
There was a difference in his personality yesterday. He was so much lighter. I was like, I think you just needed the baby face back because that beard was taking life too seriously. So I don't know if that has obviously been fine for y'all, but sometimes you just need to shave your beard. You just need a fresh start. And the past.
Willie Robertson
I've never heard that.
Sadie Robertson
Well, we actually looked it up if beards make your, like, testosterone levels higher or something. And it said, no, it doesn't. But I personally think that there's something to that.
Willie Robertson
Really?
Sadie Robertson
No, seriously. And I wasn't saying it to be funny.
Uncle Si Robertson
I was like, were you pulling his beard, like, at night when he slept and stuff? I mean, maybe you were secretly sabotaging.
Sadie Robertson
I was just like. It just. He took on a new Persona when he had the beard. It was like more like just serious. Like his personality. Yeah.
Uncle Si Robertson
And I was like, now, what does this be? Was this beer like a Captain America looking beard? Or was. Or was it Michael? Sarah.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah, it looks good. Okay. It looked good.
Willie Robertson
It wasn't like a, you know.
Sadie Robertson
No, it wasn't crazy.
Willie Robertson
No, not at all.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Matching your face.
Sadie Robertson
It wasn't even me. It was. It wasn't. I was like, no.
Willie Robertson
He. She. It's the attitude.
Uncle Si Robertson
The attitude came with the beer.
Willie Robertson
It was producing.
Sadie Robertson
Was it the feel of it masculinity.
Willie Robertson
That's what she's trying.
Sadie Robertson
It was the feel. There was something deeper beyond the surface. But anyways, that's just my small theory.
Willie Robertson
Well, before my beard, I had a super feminine accent. Remember? I was like, I often got mistaken for a woman on the phone. And then when I grew the beard.
Uncle Si Robertson
People started calling him Willa.
Willie Robertson
My voice deepened. I learned something there. And that's when I actually, you know what's interesting about the shaving of the beard? The last time I shaved my beard, do you remember when this was? Shave, shave. Not.
Sadie Robertson
I do remember when it was, but like, I remember you walking in the house without your beer, but I don't remember.
Willie Robertson
Ella was young, like two maybe. I mean, that's how long ago it was. So I thought in my mind, I thought Corey was going to be like, oh, look at this face. Look at what I've been missing out. Yeah, I didn't built this up, you know, dimples. Why would you cover this up? Not the reaction. Complete opposite reaction.
Uncle Si Robertson
Please put it back.
Willie Robertson
She went, went, oh, wow, it looks so different. And I'm like, oh, that's not a good reaction. I haven't shaved since.
Sadie Robertson
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Willie Robertson
Yeah.
Sadie Robertson
So, hey, who knows? That's just like a little sidebar of marriage.
Uncle Si Robertson
Now that we're older, though, inside. Just found this out, too, because Jace did this a few years ago. When you shave your beard off at our age now, O, it's a huge mistake because a lot has happened under there.
Willie Robertson
That was rough, man. That was.
Uncle Si Robertson
I mean, a lot has happened and it hadn't been good. None of it has been good.
Uncle Alan Robertson
None of it is good.
Willie Robertson
That turf needed covering up. Man, that needs some hay back on it.
Uncle Si Robertson
Mia just busted out balling. I mean, that tells you all you need.
Willie Robertson
We all did. I wasn't sure if he was healthy, but my favorite was Phil was making. Phil was like, do you see that face? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. That's what you'll look like if you do that.
Uncle Si Robertson
If you never shave my beard.
Sadie Robertson
Well, that's good. I'm gonna tell Christian, don't shave your beard. Like, you can shave your beard now and then later in life when you're older if you want to have, you know, that's me.
Willie Robertson
When Phil shaved his beard last, how do you remember 1988?
Uncle Si Robertson
It was a bet at church.
Willie Robertson
I remember 88 was the last time.
Uncle Si Robertson
It was a bed at church with him and the preacher. And so the preacher dad had to shave his beard and wear a suit, I think, to church. And I forgot what the preacher. And so the dad lost the bat.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Pull that off.
Uncle Si Robertson
He did it. But it was such.
Willie Robertson
Tried to leave the ministry. That was. That was what?
Uncle Si Robertson
He's been atheist. He's very bitter.
Sadie Robertson
That is sick.
Willie Robertson
But Phil's face looked. It looked like somebody took a. A samurai sword and cut off half. I mean, he looked like he had no chin. I just remember looking at going, he is the strangest looking man because his. His like, my face is this size.
Uncle Si Robertson
And so, like, he was like, hey.
Willie Robertson
And I'm like, man, that's this too weird.
Sadie Robertson
Y'all is. Yeah, it's so long and so thick that it would totally change. That would be so crazy to see You. I think we were, like, living at 2 mama's house, moving into our new house when you shaved your beard. Because I remember you walked into 2 mama's house, and I remember you. Like, I was looking at you, like. And you're like, do you notice anything different? I was like, I couldn't figure out what I was looking at. I was like, what is that? What is happening? Which is the same when you cut your hair. And I was like, I thought that was that Dasher.
Willie Robertson
Yeah. None of y'all recognize that, including dad.
Uncle Si Robertson
Willie comes in and sits down, and dad looks over and gives him the nod, which just means somebody just wandered into dad's house and never says a word to you.
Willie Robertson
Well, we talked. No, we started talking for, like, 15 minutes and then finally said, well, is that. Well, he just said, who are you? I was like, I'm your son.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Yeah.
Willie Robertson
I didn't know who you. He said, I thought you was one of Gary's friends. I didn't know who you were coming in. Came in like he owned the joint.
Uncle Si Robertson
You knew when he gave you the nod, he didn't know who you were.
Sadie Robertson
That was so crazy. Okay, getting back to relationship advice, though.
Uncle Si Robertson
This is where you knew this was gonna go?
Sadie Robertson
I knew. Well, I threw it out there when I knew talking about Christian's be beard scenario was gonna take us on a whole rant.
Willie Robertson
But actually, when that's negative, I was curious, you know? You're saying that was a negative?
Sadie Robertson
It was. That's what I was saying.
Uncle Si Robertson
It's off brand for us.
Sadie Robertson
Worked for y'all. Because y'all have had beards in 52 years of marriage. And, you know, we're five years in, and I'm thinking, the beer is not working for our marriage. I think we should just go cliche earlier. That's true. Hey, to each their own. Okay?
Uncle Si Robertson
I like, he's ugly.
Sadie Robertson
No. That's why I'm like, don't cover that face.
Willie Robertson
What if I said that, like, to Corey, like, your hair. She's bald.
Sadie Robertson
You know, Like, I was approach.
Willie Robertson
Yep, I solve that problem.
Sadie Robertson
I was approaching it gently. I was like, perhaps the hair problems.
Willie Robertson
Have been your hairstyle.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Hey, I can see it. She comes in with.
Willie Robertson
She comes in with a flat top. I'm like, oh, okay.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You would. Said my hair.
Uncle Si Robertson
Whatever it takes for the relationship.
Sadie Robertson
There are certain things that I don't know if this is true. Maybe this is bad advice, but I feel like there are certain things like the guy should not say to the girl, but the girl kind of can Say to the guy where it comes to like, hair, you can be like, hey, I think beard or no beard.
Willie Robertson
We're all aware of that.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah, but like, if you were like.
Willie Robertson
We would not be married this long if we didn't learn that one. That's a number one. Like, you don't mention that is true.
Sadie Robertson
Because if I said, hey, I think maybe no beard is better. You look so cute. Whatever, it's fine. But then if Christian's like, ma'am, blonde, over brunette or whatever, that'd be like, dude, for real.
Willie Robertson
Mom had a golf ball size thing on her throat. And I didn't say. I mean, I obviously I recognize it. And I'm like, I ain't gonna be that guy. She goes, it's like, I've got a thyroid problem. Like, did you notice this? I'm like, kinda. No.
Sadie Robertson
You said yes. I thought you were growing an Adam's apple. That's what you said.
Willie Robertson
You think I'm gonna say it? I'm like, nope, but this might teed up a golf ball. I'm like, I ain't saying a word about it.
Uncle Si Robertson
It's like, it's like the classic question, does this make my butt look big? And the answer is, I love your butt.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah, see, there's no.
Uncle Si Robertson
We don't get into any sort. I love your butt. That's.
Sadie Robertson
You have to know your spouse and what they need. And you know, some people, like, like Bella, Bella, like, loves honesty and she can take. Well, I don't know if she can take it. You know, it's one of those, you can dish it. I don't know if you can take it. But you know, you know, the spouse. And I know Christian can take that, you know, comment from me, but he also knows that I don't want to take that comment from him. So don't tell me what I should do it. My.
Uncle Si Robertson
I love the honesty podcast. This is it right here.
Willie Robertson
Yesterday, mom's talking to me and I'm looking at her feet and it looks like she's been like running through a burn pot. Her feet look dirty. And I was just like, wow, your toes kind of look dirty. Yeah. I was like, what is that? And she was like, I don't know. Yeah, I think it's my. Twenty minutes later, she was like, okay, I'm going to get my toenails done. She literally went straight there to get them done.
Sadie Robertson
That is so true. True. That's hilarious. Okay, so one of the biggest questions. I'm not kidding. We get this question asked so many times Anytime we say, what do you want to stop? On the podcast, people always ask the question, how do you know if the person is the one? And it's actually kind of sad because there's so much anxiety around this question. It's like, how do you know if he's the one? I don't want to make the wrong decision. And a lot of people asking this question. There's a lot of people who are single asking this question more generically, but a lot of people, like, I'm in a relationship, I'm scared to make the wrong decision kind of thing. And I don't know if that's because they know, like, there are red flags, I need to get out, or if it's just like this big anxiety of how do you choose the one to commit to a lifetime? Like you said, you're going into this contract for a lifetime. It's obviously a huge decision. Thinking back on that time of your life, how did you feel? Confident enough to know this is the person who I'm going to marry. Did you feel 100% confident? Maybe even is a good question, but we'll circle back to that. Dad, you want to go first?
Willie Robertson
Yeah, I mean, I may have to. To carve that question up and really think about as to why that's the case. I don't know. I could ask. Since you guys are older than me, it seems like that may be a more nuanced question, 20, 24 type question. I'm not sure if that was the same 50 years ago, if that was the biggest burning question, and maybe I'm wrong.
Uncle Si Robertson
No, I agree. In fact, I was going to say in my Lisa's relationship, and we would disagree if she were here. She would say even her mindset 40 years ago that I was the one. I mean, she had been in love with me since she was young. She mentioned that on the podcast, but I didn't believe that then. I still don't believe that to this day. I don't think there is the one. I think there's the one you decide I want to spend the rest of my life with and commit to this person. That's the way I viewed Lysa. This wasn't like I was like, oh, man, she's my soulmate forever. She was the woman that I knew I'd just come out of the world, and I knew she loved me. I knew that she thought I was the one. And so. But I didn't view her the same way. I thought, I'm making a commitment. I was like, si, I was like, I'm all in. I'm a brand new Christian and I want to live my life with this person. And I knew it wasn't going to be easy. And so what's happened to our marriage over the course of the years? I made a commitment all in. So we went through a bunch of difficulty, but I was still committed through the process no matter what. So I never viewed it as sort of this mythical thing about the One. I just think it was the mindset of, this is the one. I want to spend the rest. And once you make the call, we're in. I mean, there's. We're committed, we're going to get through this. We're going to get through whatever were shortcomings. So in my case, Will, I definitely didn't view it that way, you know, 40 years ago, but if Lisa were here, she would say she did.
Sadie Robertson
Well, I think that's better, though. I think it's good to not look at it like that because I think if you view it as like, there is one person out there for you, you have to find the one, Then I think if you get married and then you go through hardship, it leaves more room open to be like, did I choose the wrong one? That's right. I made the wrong one. No, it's not like you committed to this and you didn't make the wrong decision. You didn't. That's not like, oh, there's someone else out there who would have been more perfect for you. I think that. I think that the thing is, like, someone said it like this, like, could you marry this person? Yes. Is this God's best for you? And that's kind of. Whenever I was dating, I was kind of looking at like that, like, I could marry this person. I don't think that this is God's best for me and where I'm going in life. And that kind of helped me make that decision. Whereas, like, when Christian and I came together, I thought he was absolutely incredible. He is the one for me. I knew he was the one. I felt like he was God's best for me. Our lives were aligning. The dreams that we had, passions we had, our morals, everything was like, aligning. Was it perfect? No. Is it like some kind of, you know, I found the unicorn in the world? I think that's the thing. Because I think when you put that pressure on yourself to find it, it's like you're doing it. Like, you have to find the one. And if you don't, what if you miss it and Then you set yourself up for failure. I don't think it's like you find the person you feel like is God's best for you, you make a commitment and then you go through life together committed to the covenant you made for the Lord. And you have God, you know, helping you stay together. So I, I love that you said that because I actually think it's that mystery. It's that it's the one. What if there's another person? What if I do this and I make a mistake that like puts people in that anxious state? It's not necessary, friends. You know, I'm never one to shy away from messy conversations or inconvenient truths. And the truth is that there is an epidemic in our churches with women who are struggling with pornography. A 2016 study found that one in three Christian women struggle with porn use. And I bet those numbers have only gotten higher since then. Honestly, my friends at Covenant Eyes recognize this trend and are standing up to fight for women with porn addiction. Covenant Eyes is introducing a new resource made for women by women called Arise. It's a one day video series made for Christian women to help them overcome their addiction and put them on the path towards healing. The Arise community is safe, confidential and the people in it care deeply about your story and your struggle. They're actually going to help you see hope, find freedom, and you'll see that you're not alone on this journey. Covenant Eyes experts will offer guidance in things like identifying your triggers, exploring childhood hurts, and understanding how your body's natural rhythms can actually affect porn use. And so I just feel like this is an incredible resource for anyone listening to this who's struggling. Just know you're not alone. We've been running this ad for a little bit and there have been so many people who have signed up, which I'm so thankful for. So you're not going to be the only one to sign up. But it will be confidential. But you need help. You need friends around you. You need someone to speak truth and life and hope into your life. And that's exactly what this study is going to do. So don't hesitate to jump on this experience hope and freedom like never before with a rise. Get this resource completely free, by the way, by scanning the QR code on your screen or visiting arise for women.com Again, that is arise for women.com friend. There is hope and there is freedom for you. Go ahead and jump into this study.
Willie Robertson
And I think that's how people they, you know, especially now we, we try to make sure do all your. We're like. It's like you're on a vacation. You're like, you want to make sure everything's perfect. And a lot of times you're let down because you're like, oh, this is not what the. It's not what the picture looked like. And this is not. And so we're trying to do that with human beings and people. And so I think you definitely need to look at warning signs. You definitely need to look at, oh, this person is not, you know, we're not lined up on this, or they don't seem as fun, or they. Man, they got angry really fast. You know, there's things that you can look at. I think parents play a role in that. Where they came from. Obviously, religion falls in that or how they view that we're all going to change. I mean, I would think I'm a lot different than I was at 18 years old, you know, just where I'm at now versus where I was then. But I knew Corey had a lot of the same. The same things that I liked. We liked being together. And then we had. Went through with marriage counseling, we went through, you know, just even telling your stories and where that's at. So you definitely, definitely look at that. But I think when you say, is this, you know, the one? Then I start thinking, well, okay, what does that mean? Is it the one in my 20s? Is it one of my 30s? What will happen when there's children? What happens if something happens while there's children? I mean, it's hard to go through all those scenarios than what you.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Always. Just the one, okay? And it's more profound than that, okay? Because you're hitting on the stuff that you need to look at. Look at the parents. How are they? You know, what are their. What are their beliefs? You know, what is their mode of operation? Or they. How do they. You know, it's deeper, okay?
Willie Robertson
How does the mom treat the dad? Treat the mom? How do they view their dad? How do they view their mom? All those things are so looking at two different.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Two things, okay? Two individuals, okay? Male, female, okay? And just. You've got baggage. You've got excess baggage, both of you. So, you know, you gotta be realistic about what's going on here. What do you want out of this relationship? You know, what are you willing to put into this relationship? It's deeper than most people. Oh, is he the one or she the one? That's childish, okay? You come in the real world. That's two different individuals come in the real World, you're two individuals. You was raised different than he was raised, they believe, different than you. So it's profound. Okay. So you need to be looking at it realistically.
Sadie Robertson
Yes.
Uncle Alan Robertson
What are you talking about? What do you got in common?
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Yeah. What have you got in common? What are your beliefs? Or do you think alike?
Sadie Robertson
Yep.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Because you're going. You're going to have differences. Okay.
Willie Robertson
Are you okay with thinking differently? It's not. When I hear the one, it sounds like some kind of idealistic euphoria of like, it's always going to be good.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Willie Robertson
Because that was the one. I always felt like it leans that way, this miraculous.
Uncle Si Robertson
But you know what happens, Will, when you look at it that way? And that's where you go into it. Sadie's right. Then you can also bring into. What if they're not the one? But then the other thing is you leave no room for growth in a relationship. It has to have room to grow into something better. And I think Lisa mentioned this when we were on here, but she's recently been dealing with breast cancer and doing amazing. But she said, because we looked at it, she was more the mystical look me, more of the practical. We're just going to go through this life. That she said. And I was a little surprised when she said it. She said, now I know how much you love me. And at first it kind of took me back and I thought, well, babe, did you not think I loved you for it? She said, no, I knew you did. She said, but I didn't know the level you did until you took care of me through this cancer stuff. And so I realized that was a growth on my part that God had brought into that. So I was in for all in through whatever happened. And so. So that has grown the relationship and the marriage in a good way.
Uncle Alan Robertson
It's the thing about. Okay. Are you willing to put in the time?
Uncle Si Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Okay.
Uncle Si Robertson
That's right.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You've got to nurture this relationship. Okay. It's not miraculous. Okay. Two people coming together that male and female. It's not miraculous. You're going to have to put a lot of work involved in this. Okay.
Uncle Si Robertson
Yep.
Uncle Alan Robertson
There's a lot of things that you're going to have to overlook and just accept, you know, it's a. Yeah. Like you. I guess the best way to say it is, like you told me, you got to grow together.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah. That's good. I think, too. Like, I love how we're kind of talking about. It's not this miraculous, this mysterious thing. Are you the one where's the sign from heaven?
Uncle Alan Robertson
Yeah.
Sadie Robertson
Where? It's like. It's more profound than that. It's more practical than that. It's like, do you align? And the things that are important in life are you, you know, is your faith at the center? How does their family do things? How does their family do things? Do you see yourself going in the same direction whenever you're.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Why?
Sadie Robertson
I said more practical and profound.
Uncle Alan Robertson
The creator with the Messiah is super important.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah. Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Okay. Because when you two come together, okay, male and female, then children start happening. Okay. Then it's a new ball game, totally new season.
Sadie Robertson
Well, this is funny. So thinking about the fact that you said this is kind of a 2024 question. I do think when you think about why people think that way, I mean, think about all the movies, you know, it is. It's like serendipity. It's very miraculous. It's kind of cheesy almost because of how everything aligned and it is full of signs and the butterfly feelings and all the different things. And there's a part of that in relationship. Absolutely. Whenever you're first dating and it's all fun and stuff like that, well, then you throw in.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Okay. And this is just. And there's a lot of it out there. Okay. He grew out without a father. You had mom and dad that you were nurtured by your whole existence. Well, he didn't have a dad to show him how to be a. You know. So you got some serious, serious issues that are going to be happening.
Sadie Robertson
Yep.
Uncle Alan Robertson
That's why. And it's a normal thing. Okay. Because, like, just to tell about me. Okay. When I thought, you know, me and Christine, you know, I actually called my mother and had a discussion with her and was asking the same question. They asked, how did you know dad was the one? You know, and Mama told me, said, hey, look, you know, you said, he.
Willie Robertson
Said, hey, he was my cousin. So there's a little truth in that.
Uncle Si Robertson
Yeah, there's something.
Uncle Alan Robertson
No, no, but I'm just saying. Okay, you gotta look.
Willie Robertson
Okay, next podcast.
Uncle Alan Robertson
This is more. Especially when you say, okay, you know, she didn't have a dad growing up. Okay. He didn't. Look, there's so many human issues that come into play here. That's why I said, hey, number one, you gotta be realistic.
Sadie Robertson
Yep.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Okay. This is not miraculous. And hey, don't trust me, you'll have to get a job. We're not gonna be able to live off of love. We're gonna have to have a house. Living in.
Willie Robertson
No, I mean, Knowing Granny and Paula, I don't know that they sat around often and wondered, I wonder if I chose the right one. It was more of a roll up your sleeves mentality of survival. And you know what I'm saying? Love, and we're committed. And I'm not saying it has to be like.
Uncle Alan Robertson
That's why I said, hey, you got to be realistic about this.
Willie Robertson
But I think Sadie's right when she says, you see that especially in movies, and you see it now on social media. You're looking at somebody who's putting all this stuff up where it makes it look like. And you're like, oh, I want that. And so I think a lot of people are waiting because they're going, oh, I got to have the perfect one. And so the reason we've all been married a long time and we look as young as we do, because a lot of that time where a lot of people are spending. Waiting to find that out, we're already married, and so we're already sleeves rolled up and doing that. I think Al and Lisa were right. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know if you're going to be courageous or you don't know if you're going to sacrifice until the situation comes up. It's kind of like, if you think about presidents, like you go through the greatest presidents, oftentimes it was because there were some. Some world challenge or some national challenge that they stepped up and they pulled that off. And other ones just didn't have the opportunity because they didn't have the same challenge. And that is marriage. I mean, you don't know, like, when Corey and I were dating, we didn't go through, okay, let's go through when we adopt a child and this happened. You know how. I mean, those are. You don't see that until it comes. You can see some traits and you can hope. And let's face it, we can all. We can also just be like, oh, you're totally not. You know, you can change, or sin can come in, or other things can happen, you know, which is why, though, or you don't. You're not courageous, you're not sacrificial. Or you wander off, you know, and say, that's it, I'm done with this.
Uncle Si Robertson
Which is why the faith component is so important, that we have something bigger than each of us even to help pull to. Because sometimes that's going to happen. Our marriage verse, our life verse is Philippians 2. Because in there, when Paul's talking to the Church, he's talking about trying to have better relationships when he gets to the end of it, and talks about looking out for each other's interests better than the other. And he gets to the end, said, your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. So he gives you that ultimate example to then go to, because he knows it's going to be difficult. And who had a more difficult time on earth than Jesus did? And he wasn't even married. But he shows us what it takes to do that for one another. So that's why it is important. I mean, Lisa and I never began the path we needed to until we got on the same page spiritually. And so to your audience, which is obviously younger, I would say work toward those goals now, because when you go through those things later, you're gonna need that. I mean, you're gonna need each other, but you're gonna need something with the Almighty as well.
Uncle Alan Robertson
I always say it this way. Let me go check with a higher power.
Sadie Robertson
See, I think the thing that's.
Uncle Alan Robertson
I'm not quite sure how to handle this. Let me check with a higher power.
Sadie Robertson
I think the thing that's hard nowadays for those listening, especially the younger crowd, is that, you know, we have the Bible to learn these from. This from this is like the truth of God's word sets up the picture marriage, you know, what God brought together, let no man separate. We have all of these things, but people aren't reading the Bible. Then you don't have a structure of truth. You know, you don't have something to learn from. And then if people don't have parents who they've seen that example from from, then they really don't have that. And so they are learning from social media. You, your picture of marriage is only what you see on social media, which isn't the place to share all the hard stuff. I mean, there are ways you can share some of that. You can be vulnerable. But in what, a 30 second reel, you know, a one post slide? Most or not, but you can't see. And most are not gonna show.
Willie Robertson
None of us are gonna show it.
Sadie Robertson
Not even. Is that the place to show it? I don't even think. I think sometimes it's not like, it's not like, oh, I'm not trying to be super real on Instagram. It's just like I don't feel like that's the place to share all of the vulnerabilities of my marriage. And so you can't look at that and go, man, this is the whole picture. Of marriage because that's not the place to show the whole picture of marriage. Or then you look at movies. Well, that's a created script and a line. So if you don't have your family to learn from, if you haven't gone to the word to learn from and this is your picture, then it does give you a skewed perspective and actually have an example of this. The other day, Honey came up to me. She's all dressed up in her prince's outfit, which is very on brand for honey.
Uncle Alan Robertson
And.
Sadie Robertson
And she walks up to me and she says, mommy, let's do a true loves kiss. And she turns her head and she puts her hands on my face and she kisses me and she backs up and she goes, that didn't work. And it was so funny because I watched the movies with her in all the moments, as soon as they had the true love's kiss, it's like magic. Like, you know, the princess and the frog, they turn from frogs to humans. Like all something magical happens when the true love kiss. So honey was like, we're about to have true love's kiss and something's about to happen. And then we kiss. And she goes, it didn't work, like nothing happened. And I think that's a small example to show what a lot of people walk into when they walk into marriage. Without knowing that having a realistic view.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You know, you better be realistic, okay, because you know, life is tough, okay? You know, and like you said, okay, when the storm hits, okay, if you don't have something to anchor you down, what are you going to do? Because it's like the deal about, hey, if you won't stand for something, if you won't stand up for something, well, then you'll fall for anything.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah.
Willie Robertson
And I think another thing is not even the social media or that we will look at people. Like, let's say you look at mom and I and say, well, look at that. There's 32 years of marriage. Look at the kids. You know, that's another thing like, did your kids turn out good? But you forget Al mentioned his marriage verse ours was for the first ten years was Jesus wept because Corrie cried every other day that we were married. And so I had this unique way of making him cry every day.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Corey.
Willie Robertson
But you don't know that. You don't see that today, do you? You don't factor that in. You don't, you know, and so once you factor that in, you know, I mean, the first year, Cory, about 10 years into marriage, maybe 15 and Cory's like, yeah, we got married that first year. And I remember, like, oh, you know, and after a year, I was like, what was I thinking? And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't know were we. Was that open information? Like, I didn't know, what were we thinking? She was like, well, you know, it was hard. I was like, what were we thinking getting married? I was like, I literally never thought we said, why did we get married? But apparently you were one year into this, and. And so you don't see the struggles which you come through. You will tend to look at and notice what the good things are, which is great, but it's that you have to.
Sadie Robertson
This is so good, though.
Willie Robertson
It's. That is it the one? And so I can look back and I always say this about, you can look back and go, like, no doubt this was the one. I dated other people. Cory dated other people. Looking back in our lives is like, oh, for sure this is the one. It's impossible to look forward and try to wager that and guess, like, I'm going to guess exactly what that is, or I'm not going to get in a relationship until I know for sure. And sadly, a lot of people are just lonely waiting for what they think is the one.
Sadie Robertson
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Uncle Alan Robertson
What made you the man you are? Both of you.
Willie Robertson
What made biology I don't like.
Uncle Alan Robertson
No, no. What made you the man that you are?
Willie Robertson
I don't. Come on, Dr. S. I don't want to play this game. I don't. I. Why don't you just tell me what the answer.
Uncle Si Robertson
Just tell me what babies are you.
Sadie Robertson
The man you are.
Uncle Alan Robertson
I'll tell. What made your hardships.
Willie Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
All the hardships you went through. Okay. It's made you who you are, and it also made Corey who she is.
Sadie Robertson
Yep. So here's what happened.
Uncle Alan Robertson
The storm arrived, okay. If you do it correctly, you come together and fight the storm. If you do it wrong, you try to separately do it separately.
Willie Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
You go, it's failure.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah. It's so true.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Everything you went through that was hard. Okay. Made you a better and a stronger man, and it made her a better and a stronger woman.
Sadie Robertson
Yep.
Uncle Si Robertson
You're right, Sam.
Sadie Robertson
It's so true. And actually, it's so cool to hear y'all say this. This is why this is like, such incredible advice, especially for the young audience, because, you know, it's so much better. We talk about relationship advice all the time. But I've only been married for five years. But get someone here who's been married for 52, 40 years, 32 years. Like, now we're talking, like, real wisdom where you can look back and say these things. And I just think that a lot of people just like that honey analogy. You go into marriage and you think, what, it didn't work because you're not feeling the magic?
Uncle Alan Robertson
She didn't feel the magic.
Sadie Robertson
You're not feeling the magic, things aren't working out. And then you think, oh, I picked the wrong one. And then, you know, people end their marriage so soon. But I love how you, like, you're looking at, you're like, man, the first 10 years, you know, this happened. And then for you, like 15 years. Not that y'all didn't have great moments in between. Great things happen. You had kids during that time, all this stuff, but it was really, really hard. But yet you stayed the course. And now Here you are 32 years in, and you have just built such a beautiful legacy. You know, you have kids and grandkids, and we're working together in this beautiful thing. How'd you have gone in and said, well, that didn't work. You know, you would have never seen. I mean, Memo Campbell Phil are such a good example of that. Because had Memo King just said that didn't work. You know, that was definitely not what I was expecting. But they stayed together.
Willie Robertson
It would have altered everything. Everything would have been altered.
Sadie Robertson
We would not be here right now. I wouldn't even be alive. Yeah, that's right.
Willie Robertson
It's not, it's not fixable. It just would have altered from what you see now. And I think that's a great, I think it's a super great point because you, you, you. I think sometimes, Sadie, and perhaps some of your listeners may think, well, I'm not interested in what they're talking about. Like, I'm not interested in this. However you're living your life, I want to live exciting. And, you know, this is, you know, like you guys are, you know, they're not thinking about being in that moment. And you're all our ages, but I promise you will be. You will be. When you get to this point in your life, you will hope that you had that, you know, that you can leave and you have the security and you have the love and you have the trust and, and you have all this hardships that you've been through. Because I'm telling you, when you. There'll be a time in your life when it's not all just in your 20s and everything's so exciting and we're just going to travel and we're going to do this. I'm telling you, you'll want this peace in your relationship.
Uncle Alan Robertson
I'll use the Robertson family and use Phil Robertson as the center point. If Bill Smith had not went to Phil Robertson and preached the gospel to him, none of us would be where we're at right now. None of us.
Sadie Robertson
Nope.
Uncle Si Robertson
Destinies are determined by decision.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Oh, no.
Uncle Si Robertson
It's usually a decision to fight and to do what's right.
Uncle Alan Robertson
That's why I was saying, okay, Everything that challenged you, okay, has made you a better person because, hey, like you were talking about, you went through it.
Sadie Robertson
Yes.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Oh, you're not interested in what we're telling you. Well, you're not interested in life, okay? Cause trust me when I tell you the storm's coming, okay? Whenever it hits, you're going to have to deal with it.
Sadie Robertson
Yep.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Okay. And that's why I said, hey, if you don't have a relationship with a creator, you're doing it alone. And it's tough go, tough go. My man or lady don't go, my lady.
Willie Robertson
And I come, come, my lady.
Uncle Alan Robertson
But I'm serious. I'm serious. Okay, y'all. Hey, life is tough, okay?
Sadie Robertson
You're not wrong.
Willie Robertson
Well, and it's not even. I think it's probably the storms will come about like they do in life. You know what I'm saying? We don't live through. It's not storming every day. You know, they're going to crop up, they're going to blow through, and a.
Sadie Robertson
Lot of days, our waves, because you gotta. This is what I love, this quote. You gotta learn to ride the waves of life that slam you into the rock of ages because it will feel like waves. Sometimes. Sometimes you're going to be riding the wave, surfing it. Sometimes you're going to be under it.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Yeah, you're going to be under it.
Sadie Robertson
Yeah. And you got to learn to ride the wave because seasons come and seasons go.
Willie Robertson
But you just can't factor in all the possibility. I hear people, you know, I can just hear them talking about. It's not always just, you know, marriage or the right relationship. I hear it about jobs and I heard about, should I live here? Should I. Overthinking everything. Factor in.
Sadie Robertson
You can't.
Willie Robertson
Sometimes you just gotta go, you know what? Or does God want me here? Wherever I'm at, God's there. You know, he's here. He's there. He can be here. He can be there.
Uncle Alan Robertson
He can't go where he ain't.
Willie Robertson
And I think sometimes we try, you know, we're going to try to map this out. And the Bible never says, here's your. Here's Jesus when he left. And here's what I want you to do. Try to figure it out. I want you to try to figure out what's going to happen. That would have been a great game because he said, I Know you don't. He never said, try to figure it all out. But, man, I listen to people going, it's all about. I'm just looking for the sign. And we talked about the signs, and Christianity can be the same way. It's like, well, if I see a sign, well, man, we're all the way back to. We're all the way back to the New Testament. When people look, if I see it, if I know it, if I knew for sure. And now we're losing the faith part. Like Al said, you're losing the faith and the adventure and the courage and we're, you know.
Uncle Alan Robertson
And when you read it, here's the answer to this.
Willie Robertson
I figured it out.
Uncle Alan Robertson
No, no, here's the answer to this. Don't try to figure it out.
Sadie Robertson
Just trust.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Just trust and try.
Sadie Robertson
God will redirect you.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Trust God and try. That's all you got to do.
Willie Robertson
That's it.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Trust him. And look, then, hey, when it happens, it's. And you go, well, that was so easy.
Sadie Robertson
Well, to that point, though, dad, like the New Testament, it really kind of breaks down the argument because, like, you remember whenever Jesus, they were going to a place, and it said the spirit of God would not let them in, so then they went to the next place. Now think about Paul. And it's like God actually was like, do not go. What was it like? Don't go to Jerusalem. He's like, I'm going to Jerusalem. And it's like, that's such an interesting theme because he actually was not led to go to Jerusalem, but he went to Jerusalem and he endured hard hardship, but he also preached the gospel there. And so it's like, I. I feel like God, you're with him. He's with you. You know, he's with you everywhere you go. If you're not supposed to go, he will redirect you. If you get there, he will sustain you. If you endure the hardship, he is there with you. And I think so many people. Yes. You try to figure out, like, what is God thinking and looking for the signs? And stop looking for the signs. Like, just walk with him. The Holy Spirit is guiding you. He is leading.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Sins will not save you.
Sadie Robertson
Yes.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Okay. Yeah. That's why I, you know, I was going to add this. You know, you need to read about Job. Okay? God turned Job over to Satan to do what he was. He could do anything he wanted to except not kill him. You know? So, hey, you need to learn at an early age, patience. Okay?
Willie Robertson
So I think trust and try.
Uncle Si Robertson
Trust and try.
Sadie Robertson
Sir, trust and try.
Willie Robertson
And one more. And be patient.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Be patient.
Sadie Robertson
What did you say? So destiny is determined by decisions. Is that what you said? That was such a Wellesca moment. That's so true. And I think when it comes down to it, the anxiety comes around making decisions, you know, especially.
Uncle Alan Robertson
That's the. That's the bummer.
Sadie Robertson
Deciding who you're gonna marry, deciding where you're gonna live, deciding what job you're gonna have. And in your 20 twenties, you're filled with so many decisions that you get so much anxiety about making them. But you have to decide because it is determined by your decision. If you do not make that decision, you're stalling your future, you know? And I think to your point of, like, you're going to want to look up one day and be like, man, this is where I'm grateful for where I'm at. It's kind of like, you know, we. We were talking about wanting to have kids young. Okay, well, if we want to have kids young, gotta get married young, you know? And then we were like, we want to have our kids close together. And then after we had honey, and then I was like a year and a half out, I was like, okay, well, if I want them to be close together, then I don't need to have, you know. And so to, you know, so much of it is up to the Lord's timing on those things. Yes. Especially getting pregnant. But there is a cost and there's things. But it's like, okay, if this is where I want my life to go, I have to make a decision or else it's not going to go there. And so if you are in a relationship with someone right now who is showing you all the signs that he is not the person you're going to marry, you have to make a decision to break up and get out of the relationship so that you can be prepared and ready to say yes when the right person comes. If you're in a relationship right now where you're like, we are 100% going to get married, but you're stalling for whatever reason, you got to make a decision. If it's a job, you just have to make a decision because that's what's leading you, where you're going to go and trust that the Holy Spirit is in you and guiding you into those places, you're not going to mess it up. If you are staying. If you're just staying in conversation with God, you're not going to mess it up. And even whenever you go through those Hard times he is with you. You just got to learn to ride those waves alongside of the creator. And so, honestly, I'm. I've learned so much from this conversation. I'm like, this was amazing. I honestly thought this podcast would go a lot of different ways. I thought it might just be so crazy with the three of y'all, because y'all are so funny, and we can go all these different places. But there has been so much depth, so much wisdom, so much advice that I've personally taken.
Uncle Alan Robertson
That was one of the things that surprised me with the bunch I'm with in my park. Yeah, okay. Because people asked advice, okay. And there's four of us in there, and we each give our take on it. And I was shocked I even told them. I said, I figured all three of y'all, all four of us, a bunch of dummies. I said, but I was just shocked at the good advice we do give people.
Sadie Robertson
It's great. I mean, the fruit of your life does the talking.
Uncle Alan Robertson
No, no. Because I told Al once when he. When him and Lisa were having trouble, I said, well, now you know how Jesus feels. And he said, what are you talking about? I said, well, if nobody's ever harmed you or done you wrong, you have no idea of what forgiveness is until you have to make the choice, oh, he hurt me. Do I forgive him? Or do I hold it against him the rest of his life?
Willie Robertson
Editors know, too, when SZ says, no, no, that's a positive, not a negative. That's not. No. I disag.
Uncle Si Robertson
Yeah.
Willie Robertson
No, no, no is yes, I agree. Yeah. Because that can be very confusing to a list.
Uncle Si Robertson
We'll put that in the show notes.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Here's the thing. Okay. In my travel show, here's what I see in. In the world. A lot of misery.
Uncle Si Robertson
Yeah.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Number one, I do not see enough smiles. Number two, I don't see enough laughter. Number three, I don't see nobody joyful. Okay? And the reason they're not. They're not realistic. Okay? That's why I said, okay. The first and most important thing is you got to have a relationship with the creator.
Willie Robertson
Don't even get on obesity, Obesity, obesity.
Uncle Alan Robertson
Hey, hey. You solve that by kicking away from the table.
Sadie Robertson
Oh, that's hilarious.
Willie Robertson
Oh, no, that's your gift from this table.
Uncle Alan Robertson
That's a freebie take away from this table.
Sadie Robertson
We're having so much good advice. No, but honestly, so much good advice. And just I have to say, in wrapping this up to young people, like to have people like y'all in my life. I'm just so grateful for uncles and a dad and grandparents who have set such a beautiful example of marriage and faithfulness to the Lord. Like, I am so grateful for that. And I know not everyone has in their life. And I'm so thankful that you guys came on my podcast to share that, because I do think a lot of the advice, advice we're taking is from, you know, influencers that we see and different things. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Influencers are great. Social media is a great tool. But you also need to look at. You know, you might not have thought Uncle Sai was going to have a bunch of great marriage advice, but why not? He's been married for 52 years. You know, you need to surround yourself with people who actually the fruit of their life does the talking. You know, they have longevity to the advice and the wisdom that they're giving. They're able to look back and take from things, Things, not just giving it to you where you're at. And I'm including myself in that. Here I am doing this podcast week after week, and I'm learning alongside of you from so many different age ranges, so many different people, and I'm so grateful for that. You need the generations. You need to learn from those who are older than you, who have actually walked the walk. And so I'm so thankful for y'all coming on the podcast. This was incredible. Thank you guys for sending in these questions. We really do value all the questions that you ask and really do think about who can we bring on to really speak into this. And I think you guys nailed it. So thank you all so much.
WHOA That's Good Podcast: Episode Summary
Title: Is He the One? Uncle Si, Willie & Al Robertson Have THE Answer
Host: Sadie Robertson Huff
Release Date: November 20, 2024
Introduction
In this heartfelt episode of the "WHOA That's Good" podcast, host Sadie Robertson Huff welcomes three of her family pillars—her father Willie Robertson and uncles Alan and Si Robertson. The trio bring decades of marital wisdom to the table, offering invaluable relationship advice to listeners striving to navigate the complexities of love and commitment.
Guests' Marital Journeys
Time Stamp: [03:38 - 05:58]
Sadie begins by highlighting the remarkable lengths to which her guests have committed to their marriages:
This segment sets the stage for a deep dive into sustained marital success, emphasizing the importance of longevity and experience.
Foundational Marriage Advice
Time Stamp: [05:58 - 07:00]
Uncle Alan Robertson introduces the foundational advice:
"The whole key to it is learn to say yes, ma'am at a very early stage in the marriage."
— Uncle Alan Robertson [05:58]
This principle underscores the importance of mutual respect and willingness to compromise as pillars of a lasting relationship.
Spiritual Foundation in Marriage
Time Stamp: [06:23 - 07:00]
Uncle Alan Robertson emphasizes the critical role of spirituality:
"The first one is, okay, do you have a relationship with the Creator? That would be Jesus Christ, the Messiah."
— Uncle Alan Robertson [06:23]
He elaborates on how a shared faith acts as the bedrock, providing strength and unity through life's challenges.
Navigating Military Life and Its Strains
Time Stamp: [09:29 - 12:08]
The Robertson family delves into the unique challenges faced by military families:
Uncle Si Robertson recounts his wife Christine's resilience:
"Christine did all that on her own...she broke out the photo album and said, 'well, look at this,' and showed how engaged she was in their family life."
— Uncle Si Robertson [10:12]
Uncle Alan Robertson shares personal anecdotes about missing family moments and how worshipping joint memories helped sustain their marriage.
"She would break out the photo album and say, 'when you was home, you was home all the way.'"
— Uncle Alan Robertson [10:15]
This discussion highlights the importance of teamwork and mutual support in overcoming the physical and emotional distances imposed by military service.
Teamwork and Mutual Support
Time Stamp: [17:21 - 20:21]
Willie Robertson articulates essential principles for marital harmony:
"Try to give more than you take. It's kind of like back when we used to have things called checkbooks... you've got to put more in than you spend."
— Willie Robertson [17:21]
He further emphasizes:
Teamwork:
"When you figure out how to work as a team, you tend to fight against instead of fighting together."
— Willie Robertson [19:48]
Humor and Lightheartedness:
"Try not to take yourselves too seriously and laugh and have fun."
— Willie Robertson [19:48]
Uncle Alan Robertson adds:
"Keep your relationship as far as it is up to you. Keep it positive. Laugh a lot and smile a lot."
— Uncle Alan Robertson [20:21]
These insights underscore the necessity of positive interactions and shared joy as critical components of a successful marriage.
The Myth of "The One" and Commitment
Time Stamp: [34:02 - 55:26]
Sadie steers the conversation towards a prevalent contemporary dilemma: discerning if one's partner is "the one." The Robertson trio offers a refreshingly pragmatic perspective:
Uncle Si Robertson asserts:
"There’s not the one; you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with and commit to this person."
— Uncle Si Robertson [35:28]
Sadie Robertson expands on this idea, emphasizing commitment over destiny:
"If you view it as you have to find the one, then if you get married and go through hardship, it leaves room to think you chose the wrong one."
— Sadie Robertson [35:28]
Willie Robertson echoes the sentiment:
"You don't know if you're going to be courageous or sacrifice until the situation comes up."
— Willie Robertson [35:28]
This segment dismantles the idealistic notion of a predestined soulmate, advocating instead for a conscious decision to commit and grow together through life's trials.
Building a "Love Bank" and Nurturing the Relationship
Time Stamp: [20:36 - 25:32]
Uncle Si Robertson introduces the "love bank model," inspired by Bill Harley:
"When you're putting more love into the relationship instead of pulling out all the time, you're going to build up a bank that's going to be there for the difficult times."
— Uncle Si Robertson [20:35]
Willie Robertson adds:
"You come together and fight the storms. If you do it wrong, you try to handle things separately, and that's failure."
— Willie Robertson [57:36]
This metaphor highlights the importance of consistently investing in the relationship to create a reservoir of goodwill and support, essential for weathering challenging periods.
Humor and Flexibility in Marriage
Time Stamp: [23:48 - 32:57]
The Robertson uncles intersperse their wisdom with lighthearted banter about beards, exemplifying the necessity of humor and adaptability in marriage:
Uncle Si Robertson:
"In my case, Lisa thought I was the one, and we had to commit to the same goals."
— Uncle Si Robertson [14:09]
Uncle Alan Robertson:
"The battle rages here, guys. The evil one!"
— Uncle Alan Robertson [16:26]
These exchanges demonstrate how shared humor and the ability to laugh at oneself can diffuse tension and foster a joyful partnership.
Decision-Making and Trust in Divine Guidance
Time Stamp: [55:26 - 63:59]
The conversation deepens into the realm of decision-making and the role of faith:
Sadie Robertson:
"Trust God and try. That's all you got to do."
— Sadie Robertson [63:53]
Uncle Si Robertson:
"Destinies are determined by decisions."
— Uncle Si Robertson [61:07]
Uncle Alan Robertson:
"What's the answer to this? Don't try to figure it out. Just trust and try."
— Uncle Alan Robertson [63:54]
This discourse encourages listeners to make proactive decisions rooted in faith, trusting that divine guidance will support them through uncertainties.
Final Reflections and Legacy
Time Stamp: [65:27 - End]
As the episode concludes, Sadie reflects on the profound wisdom shared by her family:
"Having people who've been married for decades offers real wisdom... You need to surround yourself with people who have longevity to their advice."
— Sadie Robertson [58:19]
Willie Robertson adds a poignant reminder:
"When you get to this point in your life, you will hope that you had that security and love, because everything would have been altered otherwise."
— Willie Robertson [59:42]
The episode wraps up with an inspiring message about the enduring strength of committed relationships, the value of intergenerational wisdom, and the transformative power of faith and mutual support.
Key Takeaways
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
"Learn to say yes, ma'am at a very early stage in the marriage."
— Uncle Alan Robertson [05:58]
"Do you have a relationship with the Creator? That would be Jesus Christ, the Messiah."
— Uncle Alan Robertson [06:23]
"Try to give more than you take. It's kind of like back when we used to have things called checkbooks... you've got to put more in than you spend."
— Willie Robertson [17:21]
"There’s not the one; you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with and commit to this person."
— Uncle Si Robertson [35:28]
"Destinies are determined by decisions."
— Uncle Si Robertson [61:07]
"Trust God and try. That's all you got to do."
— Sadie Robertson [63:53]
Conclusion
This episode of "WHOA That's Good" serves as a treasure trove of marital wisdom, blending decades of personal experience with timeless principles of love, faith, and commitment. Sadie Robertson Huff masterfully facilitates a conversation that not only honors her family's legacy but also provides listeners with actionable insights to strengthen their own relationships.