← WHOA That's Good Podcast
WHOA That's Good Podcast
Truth We Need When Life Feels Heavy | Sadie Robertson Huff | Korie Robertson
00:57:37
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A
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B
What's up? Everybody happy? Well that's good Wednesday. I hope you're having a great day, but per usual, it is about to get so much better. Okay. Anyways, I really am excited for today because we have one of Yalls very favorite guests back on the podcast. She's pretty much co host status like Christian. My mom's back on the podcast and we're going to be answering voice memos. So this is fun.
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A
Well, thank you for that great intro. Wow. I'm happy to be here.
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B
I'm just passing out the co host titles now. You and Christian just y' all officially have them.
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A
I love it. I love it in the bay.
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C
Great.
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B
No, this is so good. People have been loving the voicemails and we have so many voicemails from y', all, which is I hear Kit crying
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A
baby in the building as soon as we start.
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B
I know. I think she heard my hype for the what is Good Podcast. But anyways, we really are loving the voicemails everyone that y' all send our team listens to. And even if we don't get to the voicemail on this podcast, it's something that we consider, we hold on to, we think about as we're, you know, planning the conversations that we're going to be having. So thank you for sending those, thank you for sharing your heart. And today we're going to cover some. So without further ado, Josh, hit it.
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C
Hey Sadie, I just wanted to ask what your advice would be. So I am kind of new to my faith. I mean, all my life I believed there's a God and everything, and my husband is the same way, but never really knowing what that fully means. And recently I've learned, and I'm growing in my faith, and I'm just on this path right now that he is not really ready to go down, I guess I would say. But I want. I. I want that for him so badly. And I just wonder if you have any advice as to, like, what my role is in that. What should I be doing as his wife to help him take the next steps in his faith, if that makes sense. Thank you.
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B
That's great.
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A
Ooh, That's a great question. That is a hard one, because, yeah, we want that for our. The people that we love the most to be on the path with us and kind of be on the same page spiritually with us and be growing spiritually when we are. And so that's a hard one. One thing I remember hearing, my aunt actually said it, and it stuck with me. And it was. It's something that I have thought back to quite a bit in our marriage, is that you're not your husband's Holy Spirit.
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B
That's exactly what I was thinking about.
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A
He has the Holy Spirit as well, working on him and in his life. And you have to trust God in that with him and with his life and with his growth. And you are not the Holy Spirit, and you are not your husband's Holy Spirit. And so to just kind of have to relinquish that to God. And so you do that through prayer, through asking God's hand on. There's also that scripture that says that we can win our spouses over through a gentle and quiet spirit. And I think that's really beautiful. Sometimes, like, in the today's world, like, we. The louder the better, the more loud we get, the more strength we show, the more this. But it's that gentle, quiet spirit that wins people over. Our kids are won over by our gentle and quiet spirit, the way we love them and love God, our spouse. People who are around us generally are won over by that. Not by the things that we say, but just the way that we live.
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B
That's so true. That's so good, Mom. I was thinking the same thing when she said, what's my role in that? I was thinking what your role isn't is to be the Holy Spirit, but that's the role you want to take on. Oh, like, I want to, you know, be this but it's like, that's not your job. And that's never going to go well if you're the Holy Spirit, because at the end of the day, you don't want him. Like, you can't maintain that position of God in his life. And so there's constantly going to be disappointment, there's constantly going to be frustration. He has to find that in the Lord. And so, yes, you can pray. That's your role, to pray, to support in any way, to, you know, be willing to have conversations without correction and to just listen and to just, you know, encourage and all of those things. Instead of, like, correcting, oh, you should have done this or you should have done that, and then praying that, like, God would put men in his life, that would speak into his life, that would come alongside of him. That's been some of the greatest blessing for Christian and I, is our friendships, my friendships with my girlfriends and his friendships with his guy friends have, like, helped us so much. And I think, like, so much of what his guy friends say to him are things like I could never say to him or wouldn't say to him, but it strengthens his faith so much. So that's such an important aspect if you pray for friendships to come alongside. And of course, you can find that within a church. So if you aren't going to church, you know, getting plugged into church, if he's willing to go on Sunday and maybe go to a class. And those are the ways I think, like, classes are so important. And not every church does that anymore. But that's. That's how you actually become known by people. When you start walking with people, doing more Bible studies, not just showing up on Sunday morning and leaving, because that's creating that relationship. But that's a great question, and that's a hard thing.
- [06:11]
A
Yeah. And also, he will see how Jesus and the Spirit is transforming your life and you. And see, like, oh, this is impacting her in ways that I want that for my life as well. So you can show, just by example, also think about how would you want to be treated in that situation if you weren't. You know, they're like, how would you want? How would your husband help you in that? And so I think sometimes as wives, like, this may be controversial. I don't know, as wives, like, we give ourselves permission to, like, talk to our husbands or treat our husbands in ways that we would not want them to treat us.
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B
You know, there's like, a whole trend on that. It's like things that my wife said That I could never say. And it's like old women just roasting their husband. It's so true. It's like, you could never say that.
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A
Yes. And so it's like, yeah, I've seen some comedians doing it. It's funny. It's like, but. But it's true. Like, sometimes we do. We think, like, oh, we could do this or say this, but we wouldn't want them to do that to us. So sometimes, like, in my life, I try to turn it around and be like, okay, if what I want, I want him to. What would I want him to do for me? And so then I'm going to, in turn, do that for him.
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B
That's great. It's like thinking about the aroma of Christ. Like the Bible says we're supposed to be the aroma of Christ. Like, you want to be a pleasant smell. You want to be a pleasant thing to be around something that is comforting and loving and full of grace, but also full of truth. You. If you haven't listened to the podcast I did with Priscilla Shire and her sons, that was, like, such a good one. And it was really inspiring to see Priscilla. I know this is different because it's not a spouse, but as a mom not trying to be the Holy Spirit in her son's life, and here her son is sitting here going, man, I was rolling up three blunts, going to church, and smoke was coming out my car and all this stuff. And Priscilla's just sitting there listening. And then Christian goes, priscilla, can I ask you a question? Like, how do you, like, just hear that? And one, like, give him grace for where he's at, but also, like, hold him higher to, like, who you know, he can be. Such a great question. And Priscilla just goes into it and she's like, oh, I make it really clear, you know, the. The type of men I have an expectation for my sons to be, especially if they're going to be under our house and our payroll. You know, that's what she was like, they're on my payroll. Like, I have investment in your life. I can speak into your life. So she's like, there is that place. She said, but at the end of the day, it's not decision for you to be a good man. It's your decision, and you have to decide that. And I'm not the Holy Spirit, and I pray the Holy Spirit catches you. I pray the Holy Spirit covers you, puts different people in your life, and I pray that, you know, people will come around you and say the things I've always said.
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A
To you.
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But at the end of the day, like, I have to surrender. I can't change you.
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A
Yeah.
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B
But also, I'm still going to hold you higher. And so it was like, a really beautiful way how she answered that.
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A
That's so good.
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B
I liked it.
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A
It made me think about, like, one thing I've said before in, in marriage is, like, your spouse's happiness is not your responsibility. Like, that's too big of a burden for you to carry. And I think that's true for, like, your. Your spouse's spirituality, your. Your spouse's, all those things. Like, we have. We are one. And like, yes, we want to make our spouse happy. We want to, you know, to grow together spiritually. We want and have that desire. But, like, to carry the burden of your spouse's spirituality or your spouse's, like, any anything is too much for us to bear.
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Give it to God really good.
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Let him do it. And you just, you know, be the wife that. That God calls you to be.
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- [11:02]
C
Hey, Sadie. First, I just wanted to say thank you for what you Do. Part of my testimony is I have struggled with anxiety for years now and kind of was at a point of just, this is who I am, this is my life. There's no fixing it because I hadn't been able to fix it in my own strength through you sharing your own struggles. I had my wake up call that I actually can't do it on my own and I'm not meant to. And I need to turn and find the Lord and read his words and the truth that he has for me. So I've been on this journey and the peace that has been been provided to me is something I never thought possible. And the ways I have seen and felt him working in my life just are. They're just truly incredible. So I wanted to say thank you for being willing to share your own story in order to help others. My question is, if you had a friend who called you or texted you and said, hey, I am just really struggling these last few days and I need someone to speak some life into me and speak truth over me, how would you respond? I'm in my Bible most mornings and I have my favorite places I like to go to when I'm really struggling. But it helps me so much to hear it spoken to. I scan through your episodes often to find the conversations where I know what happens because I need those reminders. And so I just thought I would ask you that directly because lately it's every morning I find myself thinking I just need someone to speak some life into me and speak truth over me. Okay, that's it. Thank you so much for what you do.
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B
So sweet. First of all, thanks for sharing your journey of fear. It's funny, I like look to the speaker as if you're right there. Thanks for sharing your journey of fear with us. I know that that is a hard thing to overcome, but I love what you said. You can't do it in your own strength again. Like the weight of sin is too heavy, the weight of fear is too heavy, the weight of someone else's happiness is too heavy. Like there's the things you gotta put on the Lord and He can handle it. And that's when peace that surpasses understanding takes over your life. And you understand, man, like I'm anointed. There is something inside me that's empowering me to do things greater than I am capable of, to sustain me in ways that I am, you know, unable to be sustained in outside of having the Holy Spirit. So I love that you shared that. I love that you had that wake up Call I was just thinking about, I saw this on Instagram last night. I was scrolling. It was a message from someone. And he said it was actually ACC Church and it was a youth pastor. And he said, I heard a phrase from the Lord that was so powerful. And the phrase was, you are not enough. And it was kind of like, you know, it got your attention. Like, the next slide's like, you're not enough to carry the weight of this. You're not enough to carry the weight of that. But I am, you know, and that's actually a really empowering place to be, to know that, like, there's freedom there. You actually can't do it. And that's okay. Cause God has offered that. And I can surrender my life to him. So it's really cool you came to that place. As far as encouragement goes and speaking encouragement, how to speak it over a friend, I would say, one, I hope you've learned that from this podcast. That is what this podcast is about. It's about having these conversations, speaking live, speaking encouragement. I would say directly to a friend. If they text you and ask you for encouragement, actually follow up. Like, ask them, hey, what? What are you struggling with? And then maybe they'll say, hey, I'm afraid. And you can go, girl, I been there. Let me tell you this verse that helped me whenever I was walking that path. Send them the verse. Send them a voice note. Hey, I just want to remind you what Psalms 91 says. You know, I want to pick up the phone and call you. How are you doing today? Are you doing any better? That intentionality goes such a long way. I would not just say, hey, I'll pray for you. Like, because, you know, you don't know. Did you really pray? They don't know. Did you pray? You know, but for you to go, like, actually, one, I'm going to pray for you right here on this text thread.
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A
Or I'm going to voice some of you.
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B
Two, I want to ask you how you're doing, what I can pray for you. And then three, I'm going to send you scriptures that have helped me, that have, you know, been things that I've clung to in those times. And that just goes such a longer way than just simply texting. Like, I'll pray for you. I just think that intentionality goes so much longer when you actually, like, pray for them, like verbally or in the text message. I see the things that you're asking the Lord on their behalf and that you're following up with sending scripture. That's Helped you. And you're just relating to them, like, oh, I totally get it. So actually speak that. Our words carry the power of life and death. Death, your tongue holds that power. So, like, speak that out. And that's going to go such a long way. You can encourage them. Listen to this podcast I listen to. Listen to this sermon I listen to. Here's a worship song. But also more than just referencing that, like, be that person. And hopefully, like, if you listen to this podcast and I've helped you with that, you can help them with that.
- [15:21]
A
That's good. That's so good. I was thinking, I think the first part about the fear. I was thinking, you know, throughout scripture, we've all kind of heard, like it says 365 times, you know, do not fear. Which, by the way, can I even say something about that?
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B
So I've heard that my whole life. Yeah, I didn't really think that that's necessarily true because, like, there's so many translations, like, how could that really be true? But I was like, it's probably true in some translation that someone found. So I wrote it in my new book, and the editors were like, citi, I don't think that's true. And they made me take it out.
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And I was like, dang.
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B
But I mean, I still might say it every now and then.
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A
It's still a lot.
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B
It says it a couple hundred times.
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A
It says it a lot in scripture in some translation.
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B
It probably does, I'm sure.
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A
And what is followed up by that, and what is followed up by that, it doesn't matter how many times. But even if he said it once, what is followed up by is, do not fear, for I am with you. Do not fear, for I am your Lord and I am your God. I will strengthen you and I will hold you. So it takes it off of you, which is what you say and you've realized and come to. It's like, it's not about you. It's. The fear is not because you're strong, because you're this. Cause you're. That you cannot fear. You can live without fear because God is. And he is with you. And He. And it's a promise he makes to us that he is with us even in it. It's not a promise that everything's perfect, that life's easy, that there's not things to be scared of. It's a promise that he's with us in it. And that's why we cannot fear.
- [16:48]
B
It's so true. And the more you read scripture, As a whole. And not just scripture, individual verses, you really realize the depth of that. So, like Joshua, it's one of the most classic moments of, like, do not be afraid. Like, be strong and courageous for the Lord your God will be with you. And then you read Joshua and then you realize what he was talking about. Like, you got to be strong and courageous. Don't be afraid. Yeah, for the Lord your God is going to be with you wherever you go. Well, then Joshua goes into battle after battle, after battle, after battle. Like 31 Kings did Joshua go up against 31 battles that he defeated in all of them could have killed him. All of them could have taken them out, yet it didn't, because God was with them. Then you read the life of David and David and Goliath, and then David and Saul's armies and David and 10,000 people chasing after him, and David and lions and bears. Every single thing should have killed him, but it didn't because God was with him. You look at Gideon, I mean, you just go down the line of everyone. God said, do not be afraid to. Everyone faced extreme fears. Yet the reason they didn't have to be afraid is because God's promise was on their life that he's going to be with them and sustain them. So to your point of saying that, it's like, yeah, there's a. There's an encouragement not to be afraid, because you really don't have to when you understand that God is with you because he is more powerful than what's up against you. But if you just try to, like, pick a verse and go like, okay, I just have to, like, force myself to believe this. You're not going to understand why you could believe that until you understand the magnitude of who God is. And you go, oh, whatever I'm facing holds nothing on, like, the power of God. That's for me. That's with me. Greater is he living in me than he living in the world. And so I just encourage you to have a greater understanding of scripture, because the greater understanding you have of God, the less you're going to worry about the daily things in front of your face, you know? So I love that you said that.
- [18:46]
A
Yeah. I was thinking as you were talking about that. A friend of mine, her name's Ann, she's the one who started Annie Ann's Pretzels. She said she realized that, and we had her on the podcast one time. She said once she realized that, she had this thought that life is supposed to be good and God is hard.
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B
Oh, yeah, that was Good.
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A
Then once she realized that life is hard but God is good, that changed everything. So the lie of the enemy is that life is supposed to be good. That should be easy for us. It should be all this. And if we're following God, then you know, we must be doing something wrong if we're in, in a fearful situation, but we're following God. But no, like the scripture shows over and over and over again. Joshua, David, all the people in the Bible, including in the New Testament too. Life is hard. There are hard things, there are scary things that you're going to come against. But God is good. He's with you. And so that's the, that's the truth that's found in Word's word.
- [19:39]
B
That's so good. And so like someone needs to hear that and think on that because it's so true. You're going to be so frustrated at God for the rest of your life if you don't have that in order. If you don't think, if you think life is supposed to be good, then you are constantly frustrated at God. But if you understand that life is hard and God is good, that's gonna put you in such a better place and you go back to the garden. God designed it to be good, to be perfect. Sin entered the picture, messed the whole thing up. And then God is constantly, from that point on, trying to redeem that goodness, which is why he sent Jesus to die for us, for our sins, so that we can one day then be back to eternally good in God's presence. But until we're there, we're in the not yet. We're in the heart, we're in the lost, fallen world, you know, and so having that understanding that like I'm in the brokenness of the world, but I have a God who is good and is restoring all things, things back to good. And that's my eternal home and my eternal hope. Yeah, it's like, you gotta think about that theology. Yeah, that's it. But you, we get mixed up.
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A
We do, we do.
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B
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- [22:24]
A
I feel like we could go a whole entire podcast on this one question. So now I want to go to like, because she actually touched on two kind of big things. She touched on two big things. So the second part was like that encouragement. Like, how do we give someone encouragement? That. And as she was saying that, I was thinking about. You wrote about it in your book Live and because I remember helping you kind of do some research on it about how, like, how literally impossible it is that you are alive like, that you're sitting here, that I'm sitting here. It's unbelievable. Like, all the things, all the things that had to happen that God had to do to have you here on this earth in this moment, at this time, it's just not. It's not plausible without God. And so I think that's one thing to remember. It's like you are here for a reason. You were not an accident. The odds were stacked against you for being born even, and then to be placed in this moment, like, you have purpose on this earth. There's meaning for you. And it's not just for, like, okay, I just gotta, like, survive till I get to heaven. Like, there's purpose for you right now, right where you are with the people that are around. You where God place you in this time and place. And so I think just having that reminder and then in all of scripture is a love letter to us to say, like, how much God loves us, how much he cares for us. He sent his son to die for us. He did all these things. He's constantly trying to bring us back. The parable of the prodigal son is just a story of that's God, is that father. He was, like, waiting at the door for you. And so you are so love. You are so, so. You are so careful. You are. God was so intentional with your life. And so just. I want to put that reminder out there for anybody who is questioning that right now and needs that encouragement. So good.
- [24:15]
B
Last night, Haven, she's freshly three. And Haven has these crash outs when she's tired and hungry, okay? Which is a combo that's not good for anybody. And every time she gets overly tired or overly hungry, she immediately goes into this world of, no one likes me. I'm gross. I'm like, what? Why would you say that? And every time I'm like, you can't say that, Haven, everybody likes you. You're not gross. Nobody likes that I'm a princess. Everybody loves that you're a princess. That we love it. We. So last night, we're going into the whole hungry, tired, crash out, and I go, haven, everybody loves you. I go down the list. Everybody likes you. We love that you're a princess. You have the best imagination. It is so beautiful to see it on display. And God made you wonderful and he made you beautiful. And I'm just going into the whole thing. I'm just encouraging her. And I said, you cannot speak words like that over you that are not true. And then I said, honey, I want you to encourage your sister. And I said, because your words are like, honey. And I said, sweet to the soul. And she goes, I know. Healing to the bones.
- [25:23]
A
And she, like, finished the sentence. And I said, well, it's true.
- [25:28]
B
Your words are like, honey, they're sweet to the soul, and they're healing to the bones. And when you speak words over Haven, they matter. And so I'm teaching them this right now. You cannot say those words over yourself. I don't care if you're tired or you're hungry. It's not true. And you're not going to say it.
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A
That's right.
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B
And then when you do say it, you're going to be covered in truth, because that's what we're going to do for you as your family. I'm going to do it as your mom. I'm always going to love you. I'm always going to be there. I'm always going to say this. And then honey, you're going to do it too because you're her sister. And, and I just started to think about how this is like freshly three years old and she's feeling this, this way. And this is what the enemy like at such a young age, like plants in your mind to like say you're bent towards doing that. And I'm like, when she's 15 and those words start coming out because they probably will because we all have done it. I just want to remind her this is not new in the sense of this isn't because that girl was mean to you at school. And this isn't because you're, you're actually unlikable or you were saying this at 2 years old. Because this is the brokenness of the world. And like I think the bent in our, in our minds to just go like, oh, no one likes me. Like when we're sad or when we get. And it might just be because we're hungry or it might just because we're tired. And it's just good to kind of be aware of that because I think the older you get, you start filling in the gaps for like why people really don't like me and why I'm gross and why I'm this and why I'm that. You start to believe these things and you kind of have like reasons to believe them that pile on.
- [26:52]
A
Yeah.
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B
And just take it back. Actually that's a lie that was planted before you even had the concept of what that even meant.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And it was never true. And this is what's always been true. And so it just kind of like was a realization last night laying in bed, like she doesn't even know what that means. And she's saying it right. And I'm going to try to uproot that now and make sure she knows what's true. But just to anyone listening who's not two years old.
- [27:16]
A
Yeah.
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B
And you're saying the same things.
- [27:17]
A
Look at a little three year old
- [27:19]
B
and be like, obviously, obviously that's not true. But it's the same for you at 23. It's obviously not true for you. It doesn't matter what you've done, what you acted like yesterday. It's like what mom said, the prodigal son. God's always open arm. I'm so glad you're home. You're my son. This Story the prodigal son. The son's like, no, no, no, I don't want to be your son. I'm just, I'll just be your servant. Like, talk about gross. He's like, I've been eating with the pigs. Like, I just. I just want to be your servant. And God's like, that's not who you are. You're my son. So, like, I'm gonna put the robe on you, you know, like, I'm gonna welcome you fully. And what a be beautiful picture of who you really are. So I love that we went there.
- [28:00]
A
That's good. As you were saying that about, like, you know, those things we speak over ourselves. I was thinking about, we have a clear example, like, in an algorithm on social media, because our algorithm is set to, like, notice what you notice and just give you more of that because that's get you stuck in that loop. Like, it's like you're seeing, you see it happen. Like, you little spent just a little more time on one thing, and then you're going to get more and more and more of that same thing. And so, like, we can do that in our brain too. You just, you give. You give the enemy just that little bit more time with that negative thought or that, you know, or that, yeah, that emotion that is like, negative. And that's down the path against the way God wants us to think and live. He'll take more, A little more, a little more and a little more. And he'll keep feeding that to you
- [28:50]
B
just like an hour so you don't realize. You're like, how did I get here? I saw. I actually saw this girl post the other day on her story, and she was like, like, like just being vulnerable, that she's struggling with her body image. And it's really hard in her industry because it, like, matters what your body looks like in the industry that she's in and whatnot. And I'm sitting there thinking, what? Like, she is literally the most toned, fit, human, stunningly beautiful, was just on the COVID of a magazine. And I'm going, what is she comparing herself to? Then I realized that because I follow a lot of her other friends too. It was Miami Swim week, and all of her friends were in Miami Swim week. Now, I don't know if she got asked or what she probably did, but I was just thinking this is what she's seeing all day, every day and, like, comparing herself to. And it gave a little bit more context as to why she might have said that or felt that way. But I was just thinking, what an interesting thing. Like, you can kind of see where that might have come from. And like you said, like, the algorithm is going to keep putting it in your face. So it's like, if you. You see that, like, and you lean into that and you feed that, like, you're gonna keep seeing that and feel you might get to this place. I don't even know why I feel this way. Like, think back. Like, what have you been following? What have you been looking at? What have you been putting in? What seeds have you been putting in that you didn't even know you were watering? And now it's grown into a whole thought of jealousy, a whole lot of insecurity, a whole thought of comparison. And you have to be responsible of that and uproot that from the beginning and go, you know what? It's not that you have to, like, avoid seeing it, but you have to catch yourself and go, okay, I saw it. But I'm not gonna let that make me feel less than.
- [30:28]
A
Yeah.
- [30:28]
B
Her in that context doesn't mean I'm less or not as in shape or not as important or not as special. And I think that's where we're just not on guard enough, you know?
- [30:38]
A
Yeah. That guards your heart.
- [30:39]
C
Hey, Sadie, My name is Erica. I'm calling from Northern California. First, I just wanted to say I've been following you and your sweet family since day one of Death Dynasty, and I listen to your podcast every week. You're such an inspiration to me. So thank you so much for opening up the Whoa Line. I'm just reaching out because I've been struggling with my daughter, who's soon to be 13. She was baptized a couple of years ago and has always been so optimistic and strong in her faith. All of a sudden, she came to me and said she doesn't believe in God anymore. She says she prays and nothing happens. I've encouraged her questions and tried to help, but at this point, she just doesn't want to talk to me about it. Her dad has also fallen away from his faith, which I'm sure confuses her more since she's hearing different when she was at his house. I'm just not sure how to help her or what to say without pushing her further away. Any wisdom or advice you have would mean the world to me. Thank you so much for your time and for what you do. God bless.
- [31:37]
A
That's tough.
- [31:38]
B
It's like it's so much of what
- [31:39]
A
we just talked about so hard. When you see your kids going through and questioning and all that. But I think, you know, she mentioned that she's encouraging her questions. I think I. God's okay with your doubt, he's okay with your questions. He can take it, you know, so I think keeping that open communication is great, like making sure that she knows that there's open communication with God and with you and all that. And I think, you know, not pressuring because, you know, kids definitely do more with what they see in our lives and what we say to them, especially starting around that age, you know, the lectures aren't as welcome anymore. So I think it sounds like she's doing the right things. Just stay and just, you know, trust God. Trust the spirit in her life and trust God that he is, you know, the seeds that you planted when she was young will come to bear and come to bear fruit in her life. It might not be in your timing, but in his timing.
- [32:41]
B
Yep, that's great. I'll really let mom speak into that. As a mom who's had, had six kids go through the teenage years and seen more of that and kind of refer back to the Priscilla podcast, because she talked a lot about that and it was so helpful. But yeah, I think just staying consistent for her, knowing that she can come to you with her questions, that those are welcome, that those aren't going to be like, you're not going to freak out that she's asking these big questions, that you're going to be there to, to listen and to help her walk through it and to pray for her, even if she doesn't want you to pray over her. She knows you're praying for her. She knows you're believing for her. And I think that's the most important thing, just knowing that you're there. There's just something about summer in the south that makes you really appreciate a good night's sleep. You know, it's hot outside, you're running around, swimming, doing all the things and curling up on your Helix sleep mattress. Feels like the best kind of cool down. Christian and I took the 2 minute helix sleep quiz and we got matched with the Midnight Elite. It is so perfect for us because we're both side sleepers and we kind of like that middle ground. Not too firm, not too soft, just cozy and supportive. I love the zero motion transfer to too. It's totally amazing. No matter who's climbing in or out of the bed, Christian, the girls or Cabo, I can keep on snoozing with Helix. I sleep so much better, so much deeper. I wake up way less with less Aches and pains. And once you get used to sleeping that well, you just can't go back. When I'm away from home, I always miss my Helix. We love our Helix Midnight Elite. We actually just upgraded, which was super fun because we've had our one forever. We gave it to some friends. Friends, they now love it. They're like, this is the best mattress we ever had. We got a new one and we got one of Helix's mattress toppers. It is the softest thing. Like we love it. Plus, Helix ships right to your door so you can actually have the Happy with Helix guarantee. It offers seamless returns, exchanges and even 120 night at home sleep trial so you can make absolutely sure that it's right for you. Go to helixsleep.com Sadie for 27 off site wide. An exclusive offer for Whoa, that's good listeners. That's helixleep.com Sadie for 20 sitewide. Make sure you enter our show's name after checkout so that they know we sent you there. That's helixleep.com Sadie I think that because it's obviously like hard to walk through anything where you're struggling that deeply, where it's like, I don't want anything to do with God. However, the fact that she's still asking questions is so beautiful cuz like she's wrestling with God. Like she's wrestling with this idea. And I think that we can't fear the wrestle because it's really in the wrestling that you come out on the other side with such a deeper trust. And that's like the story of Jacob who wrestled with God and like walked with a limp forever. But like that limp was a reminder that God was real, you know?
- [35:30]
C
Yeah.
- [35:31]
B
And I think I, I'm watching a friend walk through a wrestling time of her life and she said the other, I don't know why I'm like having to do this. And I said, you're going to be blessed for the rest of your life that you want went into this wrestle with God. And I said that because I know it doesn't feel like a blessing in the moment, but I said in five years from now, you're going to be so secure in this one struggle you have right now and you're going to be secure in it because you're going to be on the other side of a very intense wrestle where you came out of it knowing without a shadow of a doubt this is what is true. And I, I just wanted to encourage her, like it's okay that you're wrestling, and the questions you're asking are so good. And on the other side of. Because I know you're gonna reach truth, because God is so good and he's so faithful. And the way she's wrestling with it is just leading her to the Lord. I'm like, man, you're gonna be, like, five years in a row. You're gonna be unstoppable. Like, your confidence could be so strong. So just remembering that, too, that it's okay to wrestle, and you're gonna come out stronger. And you might walk with a limp, but that limp will be a reminder of the fact that God met you in that time.
- [36:41]
A
That's so good.
- [36:41]
B
It's hard to watch.
- [36:42]
A
I think that. Yeah, I mean, that. That reminder to. That trust within yourself and also for your. Your daughter to just know that, like, God's big enough to handle it. Like, he can take all your questions, he can take all your doubts, all of those things. And I was just thinking about that age, particularly, like, 13 years old, that is. And. And each of our kids kind of go through it differently, go through that middle school time differently. And I. I was thinking about, like, Bella. I think I've shared this before. She had, like, a pulling away from me in a way during that time period. That was hard for me as a mom because she was, like, the baby of the family and was very attached to me. But it, like, she. It was necessary for her. She needed to, like, figure out who she was on her own. And I remember you talk a lot about around that time period when you went off to.
- [37:31]
B
I was so annoying at.
- [37:33]
A
No, no, I'm not.
- [37:35]
B
Dad said it. Dad was like, you. You and your mom when you were
- [37:39]
A
13, we went through a little, like, fighting phase. We did. We did. But, no, I wasn't gonna say that.
- [37:45]
B
I was.
- [37:46]
A
I was talking about whenever you went off to play basketball and you went on your own, and that was, like, a really time for you and your faith to be like, okay, is my faith my own, or is my faith my parents? You know? And so, like, everyone goes through that. And to some extent, at that time,
- [38:06]
B
I credit you a lot as a mom, because you walked in such surrender, like, I can't believe now that I'm a mom that you let me go to Austria for 10 days by myself without knowing one person until I got there. That's wild. And those people were worldly, living it up, and I had all the opportunity in the world to not stay on the path. But that was so shaping. I was like, okay, now I get to decide, like, am I going to do this or not? But which hindsight. Like, you couldn't have known the next year Duck Dynasty was gonna happen two years later. And I had this, like, moment two years before on my own, independently, saying, like, this is the way that I'm going to choose to live my life. And so, like, that's so cool. But you had to be surrendered as a mom to go. I'm gonna let you go. I'm gonna let you figure it out. And it could have not gone a great way. And then even with Bella, like, letting her go, like, letting her take that necessary step, even though that would be so hard as a mom. Cause all you wanna do is hover and be like, you're my baby. So what a hard thing. Whenever my kids are 13, I'm gonna be hitting that whoa. Line to your number. Be like, mom, help. I'm like, whoa, mom, help me.
- [39:20]
A
How do I surrender?
- [39:22]
B
It's good.
- [39:23]
C
Hey, Sadie, this is Rachel from Arkansas. What would be your advice for a couple about to get engaged?
- [39:31]
B
Generic.
- [39:33]
A
Just a couple. Just advice.
- [39:35]
B
Just drop the, like, as high.
- [39:36]
A
Just general advice. Advice. Oh, okay. Well, I got. I got advice.
- [39:40]
B
We're going.
- [39:41]
A
About to get engaged. Free marriage counseling. It's very important. It. I mean, Willie and I still refer to things that we learned in premarriage counseling. I think it's so important. Get with a good premature counselor. Go through. We did the book. Before you say I do. I don't know if that's, like, all over the place that people do. Do y' all do that?
- [40:02]
B
We didn't, but we did Mingling of Souls. Okay. Matt Chandler. And then we did Single Day Engaged. Mar Stewart. Love that last. Jefferson Bethke. We read a lot of books.
- [40:13]
A
Yeah.
- [40:13]
B
And I would say do that. Absolutely.
- [40:14]
A
We did that, too. We read a lot of books. And then before you said it was like a notebook, kind of a series you went through where you asked, like, specific questions and you talked about things and filled in the workbook and everything. But. But yeah, I think premarriage counseling is really, really important.
- [40:28]
B
I agree. Premarriage counseling and great books. But premarital counseling will tell you what books are great to read. So 100%, that was a simple question and a pretty simple answer.
- [40:39]
C
Hey, Sadie. My name is Brittany, and what I'd love advice on is how to disciple to those around you. I struggle with trying to figure out how to bring up Jesus without sounding like I'm pushing someone or being super awkward, especially to someone I know who isn't a believer. How do I spread the gospel in this day and age? Thanks in advance. Sweet girl.
- [40:59]
B
Sweet girl. That was sweet. Someone asked a similar question to this the other night when we were doing
- [41:05]
A
that Q and A.
- [41:06]
B
And I was saying, well, one, you gotta keep in mind that this is good news. Like, the gospel is the best news on the planet. That God still loved the world, that he sent his one only son, that if we just believe in him, we will not perish and have eternal life because of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. That's John 3:16. But that's really the. The gospel. That's what the gospels are. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. That's the story of Jesus coming, him dying on the cross. Forgive us our sins, giving us hope for eternal life, and then sending the Holy Spirit to dwell within us so that we can be empowered to go through life. Wow. That is the best news ever. So if you understand. If you understand the Bible, you understand the grace that's been given to you. You understand the spirit of God living inside you. You understand that you have something that the world craves. You have love to the fullest. You have joy that's a strength, peace, that surpasses all understanding. You have a spirit of gentleness, self control. In a world full of addiction, you have all of these things that the world is craving. Then you're really not scared to talk about that, because why would you not talk about that? That would be the weirdest thing to gatekeep the greatest news you've ever heard in your life. However, that's what most Christians do. And it's like, the keys. You got the keys to the kingdom. You have everything like everybody else on Instagram. It's like, everything cool they find. They're like, you gotta hear about this. This is the new Onion Chopper I use. Like, why are we gonna tell everybody about the Onion Chopper? We're not gonna tell you about the Holy Spirit. I'm like, what? So to me, I. Gosh, if you understand the gravity and the goodness, it just.
- [42:43]
C
You.
- [42:44]
B
You cannot not talk about it. It's like a relationship when you're obsessed with the person you're dating and you, like, cannot help but talk about him because he's just so good. And it's not even awkward to bring up because it's just so natural. So the more you're in relationship with God, the more you're studying His Word, it will just be like a fountain flowing from your life. You just won't be able to Stop talking about it. It'll be so exciting. And what I've found too is that because it is so good, good when you're, when you're sharing it the way it's intended to be shared, people receive it. Well, I mean, I'm surprised by how much of a wide audience we have that people who are non believers follow us because we are so explicit about our faith. But it's, it's not. I mean, people are like, they believe it. That's great. Like they're standing for something. They're, they're living in it. And, and they genuinely love people. Now, I'm not saying you're not going to have pushback. Even Jesus did. Jesus would preach a sermon. Sermon. And Jesus, mind you, was God. And his sermons were perfect. And it would say at the end of it, some believe and some doubted. So it's not 100%. You're not going to be shooting 100. You never are. Jesus even did not. Jesus would lay it all out there and people hated him so much they killed him. So also consider that there is that aspect to sharing that not everybody's going to like it, appreciate it. People are going to doubt. People are going to make fun of you. And you can't let that, that, you can't let that stop you because that's just kind of a part of it. That's what you said. Like, if you're going to follow me, consider the cost. Pick up your cross. Like, this could lead to not good things. However, it's also going to lead you and others to eternal life. So consider the cost. But consider the magnitude of grace and the gift it is. And I think within those things you'll share more and not care what man thinks as much. You'll fear the Lord greater than you'll fear man.
- [44:38]
A
Yeah, that's good. You pretty much said it all.
- [44:41]
B
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- [45:11]
A
I feel like there was. What I was going to say was something that Willie says a lot that I always love. He talks about how, like if I had, if I went, if I spent some time with you, and I never mentioned Corey, like, it'd be like maybe their relationship's not so great, you know? And so it's like your relationship with Jesus is a relationship. We're the bride of Christ. And so like, if I was talking to you for any length of time and I never bring up Willie, it's like, well, maybe they're not that close, you know? And so. And I don't think. I'm not judging where people are. I'm just saying, like, think about it that way. It's a natural. It's a natural overflow to talk about who you're close to, your relationships. And so don't think about it like, oh, I can't talk about it because this is scary. But if you can think about it more, like, I talk about it just like any of my other relationships. Who are other people that I'm close to, maybe that'll kind of give you a little bit of, like, comfort in it, make you feel like, oh, it just let it. Let it flow naturally. Just like you talk about your friends.
- [46:15]
B
Yeah. And sometimes, like, I heard a friend do this the other day. We're actually doing this interview, and the interviewer is asking us these are great questions. And my friend, who's well known too, at the end of the interview, she said, hey, are you a Jesus guy? To the interviewer. And he goes, no, I'm not. And he goes, but I love what I'm. That was great. I love you doing. And she goes, yeah, I'm just sitting here thinking, this has got to sound so weird to you if you don't believe in Jesus. And he was like, I know. Like, I appreciate Yalls perspective. And then she was like, oh, well, anyways, like, God bless you. The conversation ended and I was like, that was really cool that you just said, like, I would never have thought to say that.
- [46:57]
A
Yeah.
- [46:57]
B
And then she was like, yeah, I just started thinking that might. That might be weird. Like, he might not know what we're talking about because we were just so openly talking about Jesus Christ because the questions were leading us to just say it because that's just how we live our life. And. And I thought that was really cool because she didn't then preach the gospel. She didn't then go like, oh, well, then do you need, like, it. It wasn't pushy. She just asked the question and ended it. And I thought about that and I was like, he's going to go back and think about that. Yeah, he's going to think about what she asked and consider that for himself. And just like, it's not your job to be the Holy Spirit. Spirit to your spouse. And it's not your job to be the Holy Spirit to your kids. It's also not your job to be the Holy Spirit to someone you share the gospel to. And you never know when you plant a seed if it's going to land on good soil and if the Lord's going to water that ground. And so it might be a throw out thing like that. It might be a simple question, it might be encouragement here or there, and, and you just don't know how that's going to go. I think there's this movement in evangelism that's a little pushy and God can use it. God does use it. I'm not saying that he doesn't. That's not my style, and I don't think that's everybody's style. And I think you just have to lean into how the Lord uses you in these conversations and trust that God's going to do it. And it doesn't have to look the way your pastor does it. It doesn't have to look the way someone else said it. And this is a unashamed plug from my dad's book, Gospeller, because my dad has an entire book on, on basically how to disciple people, how to do evangelism in the everyday world, and how to be a gospeller, how to be a person who shares the gospel of Jesus. So shout out to Gospeller and to the person who asked this question. I highly encourage you to read that book. One more question.
- [48:41]
C
Hi, Sandy. I love listening to the podcast and I do find it really helpful and it has helped me grown closer in my faith. My question is, I'm dealing with a loss of a really close family member right now and kind of navigating anger associated with God. How do I replace that and get out of this tough time?
- [49:03]
B
So heavy. First off, thank you for sharing and I'm so sorry for your loss. Kind of back to the wrestle. I would say God can handle your anger. He can handle the wrestle. I mean, go read the Psalms of David. David was so frustrated at times and the Lord met him in that, that I, I've found myself after reading the Psalms, being more honest with God of, like, that's frustrating, Lord. And I know you're not frustrating, you're good. But I'm mad at the situation and letting God soften my heart through just bringing him my real emotions. So don't, you don't have to shy away from that. If you really feel that way, I would really share it with the Lord. But on the Flip side, if you're like, hey, I. I've stayed here too long, like, I'm ready for the breakthrough. And one like, yes, the Holy Spirit can help you with that. Like, he turns your mourning into dancing your sorrows into joy. Like, that is the power of the anointing of the Spirit. So you gotta ask the Holy Spirit to do that. But also, one of the things that mom encouraged me to do when I used to be, like, afraid of death is to read books about heaven and heaven is for real is that imagine heaven. Imagine heaven, the one that heaven is for real is a different one. That's good. But imagine heaven is the one one that I go back to. It's so cool. It's a story about near death experiences. Tons of stories about near death experiences. And it's biblically based. Like, these are near death experience, and this is what the Bible says about heaven. And these are how these things kind of like overlap. It gave me so much excitement for heaven that I was like, okay, wow. Like, this is where our home is. This is what we're heading towards. This is what life is about out. And just, like, reshape my perspective of death and about heaven and the afterlife and all the things. And so I would just say, like, to turn, you know, your anger into, like, hope. It could be helpful to study heaven and know where your family member is and where we're all heading.
- [51:05]
A
And I just want to say, for, you know, you who've lost a loved one, like, give yourself grace in this. Like, yes, there is grief. We, you know, there is. There is sadness, there is mourning. That is to be done, and it's okay. And there's not a timeline for it, you know, so don't beat yourself up on the fact that, like, oh, I'm struggling with this. Yes, that is a struggle. That is the hardest thing you can imagine that we experience here on earth, you know, and so it's okay to be in that struggle, and it's okay to give yourself time to grieve and to mourn. And you can have. Those two things can kind of go together. The sadness and loneliness and questions can go with hope and love and grace and knowledge and trust in a future and eternity. Those two things can go together.
- [51:57]
C
That's great.
- [51:58]
A
In those prayers, I would encourage you to be honest with God in your prayers, but also ask him to show you, like, say, reveal yourself to me, God. Show me how you're working in this. Show me what I need to see to heal from this and to comfort me in my Grieving and in my sorrow. So ask God for those things. And then the same. I was thinking about reading even Leva Lesco's book Through the Eyes of a Lion and just watching other people walk through things like this. The hardest thing you can imagine on this earth, losing somebody that you love. You miss them, and it doesn't make you miss them less, but just that awareness of, I love. Imagine Heaven. I give it to everybody who loses someone. I love that book so much because it just gives you that hope, that excitement for, like, where they are and how much love they feel and how much. And the knowledge that, like, oh, if you really understood. If we really, really understood heaven, and once, one day we will. But we wouldn't want them to come back because you would know that they are feeling so much love and so much peace, and you love them so much, you would want that for them. And Levi talks about how it's like the veil between heaven and earth is so close. It's like she's just right there. You know, we can't touch her. We can't see her right now, but one day we will. That will be open. Like, one day, Jes. Jesus comes back, that veil will be torn between heaven and earth, and we will all be reunited. And so, yeah, that hope, I think, in heaven, I honestly don't know how people do it. They don't have hope for the future.
- [53:33]
B
I think about that all the time.
- [53:34]
A
And so thankful to know. Yeah. Because it is in that hope, I think, that can give you peace for your loved ones that do pass and know, like, oh, they are feeling so much love. They have all of the mysteries of the universe are, like, open to that and how you can feel peace in that.
- [54:00]
B
I think about styles of evangelism. Pepa Phil used to always say, we're all going six feet under. He's like, if you got another way out of the grave, let me know. But I doubt it. And I'm like, it's actually true. When you really think about it, what other hope do you have? And I think about that for people who don't know the Bible or don't know God. And I'm like, okay, if I get nervous to tell someone or something, and I'm like, if they don't know God and they don't have the hope of heaven, then when they had the fear of death, like, I do, like, there are times where you'll be up at night and you start thinking about death, you start thinking about eternity, and it's like. Like your whole Stomach sinks in. And I'm just, like, trying not to think about that. But it's like, well, the reality is that is coming. So you can try to think about it. You can try to avoid the thought process, but at the end of the day, we are all going six feet under. And so to consider. If I didn't have that hope in Christ, and I didn't have this, when I get that sinking feeling knowing that God put eternity in the hearts of man for a reason, that we would ponder it, that we would consider it, and that we would cling to hope, man, that would be such a horrible feeling to just let stay in my heart without. Without going. But at least we have heaven. But at least we have Jesus. But when we get there, it will be so. All things will be restored. All things will be made new. All things will be good. We will be reunited with our loved ones, and we will be in the fullness of the presence of God. Man, like, that's the greatest. That's the greatest gift. And so back to evangelism and discipleship and go back to the thought process that everyone in life, no matter who they are, is wrestling with those same big things. What is life about? What is my purpose? What is all this for? And then when I die, where am I going? And that will help you stay in the Word. And so, again, God put eternity in the hearts of man for a reason to be pondered, to be thought of, and then to lead you to the conclusion that God is real and that Jesus died for you. And so thank y' all again for the incredible voicemail. We clearly don't take them lightly. You don't either. I was thinking this the other day. I. I did, like, an ask me anything Q and A. Because I always see everybody else do these, and I'm like, I want to do that. And I don't get the questions other people get. It's not like, you know, what'd you eat for lunch? It's like, how do you deal with the thought of death? And I love that. I'm so grateful that y' all ask such deep questions. And I do not have all the answers. Mom doesn't have all the answers. But we do have the word of. Of God. That is, you know, the living, breathing word of God that we're going to refer to and go back to and wrestle out. And so I appreciate y' all for. For listening, for trusting us with such deep thoughts. And I hope this has encouraged you and leads you to love God more, to know him more, and to know that you are loved by him and known by him too. The right window treatments change change everything. Your sleep, your privacy, the way every room looks and feels. @blinds.com, we've spent 30 years making it surprisingly simple to get exactly what your home needs. We've covered over 25 million windows and have 50,000 five star reviews to prove we deliver. Whether you DIY it or want a pro to handle everything from measure to install, we have you covered. Real Design professionals free samples, zero pressure right now. Get up to 50% off with minimum purchase plus get a free professional measure@blinds.com rules and restrictions apply.