When You Get the Ick About Your Spouse, Embarrassing Moments & Support During Tough Times | Sadie, Christian, Bella & Jacob

Summary

WHOA That's Good Podcast Episode Summary

Title: When You Get the Ick About Your Spouse, Embarrassing Moments & Support During Tough Times
Host: Sadie Robertson Huff
Guests: Sadie, Christian, Bella, Jacob
Release Date: March 31, 2025

In this engaging episode of the "WHOA That's Good" podcast, host Sadie Robertson Huff sits down with her husband Christian and friends Bella and Jacob to delve into the intricacies of marriage. The conversation navigates through relatable topics such as the concept of "the ick," embarrassing moments couples face, and strategies for supporting each other during challenging times. The episode is peppered with humor, heartfelt reflections, and valuable insights, making it a must-listen for anyone interested in the dynamics of lasting relationships.

---

1. Understanding "The Ick" in Marriage

The episode kicks off with a discussion on "the ick," a term used to describe momentary feelings of being turned off by a partner's behavior. Sadie introduces the topic by sharing that it's a common conversation point within their community.

Notable Quotes:

• Sadie (01:39): "What is the ick of your spouse?"
• Jacob (02:22): "Number one ick is Bella doesn't believe in the ceiling fan."
• Bella (03:57): "Christian picks his nose in public like it's nothing."

The group humorously shares their personal "icks," highlighting how subjective and unique these feelings can be. For instance, Jacob expresses his annoyance with Bella’s reluctance to use a ceiling fan at night, while Bella points out Christian’s public nose-picking habits.

2. Embarrassing Moments as a Couple

Transitioning from "the ick," the conversation shifts to some of the most embarrassing moments the couples have experienced together. Sadie shares a recent incident involving a FaceTime call with Christian's parents where a misunderstanding about a pap smear led to an awkward exchange.

Notable Quotes:

• Sadie (09:20): "It was just embarrassing because Christian didn't know what a pap smear was."
• Jacob (12:28): "When we moved into our house, a dude walked out with a toilet on his shoulder. It was just like he totally ruined his stepdad's car."

These stories are shared with laughter and empathy, illustrating how such moments, while cringe-worthy, can strengthen bonds when approached with humor and understanding.

3. Advice and Tips Before Living Together

The discussion then moves to practical advice for couples considering cohabitation. The guests emphasize the importance of defining roles, maintaining open communication, and being flexible in adjusting responsibilities.

Notable Quotes:

• Jacob (19:03): "Go into it knowing that you're gonna have to carry the weight of some type of role."
• Bella (19:20): "We talked through each other's roles during premarital counseling, but living together revealed new dynamics."

Sadie underscores the importance of gratitude and avoiding comparisons with other couples, sharing how she and Christian have divided household tasks in a way that works for them.

4. Favorite Personality Qualities in Spouses

Shifting to sweeter topics, the guests reveal their favorite qualities in their partners. Christian admires Sadie's genuineness and authenticity, while Sadie appreciates Christian's deep care for relationships. Bella and Jacob highlight Bella's servant-hearted nature and Jacob's ability to make her laugh, respectively.

Notable Quotes:

• Christian (30:02): "You're so sweet that you are super genuine and authentic."
• Sadie (30:13): "My favorite quality in you, Christian, is how deeply you care about your relationships."
• Jacob (31:19): "Bella's a very servant-hearted, always willing to help me out in anything I do."
• Sadie (48:38): "I laugh at everything. That's a gift."

These acknowledgments reinforce the importance of nurturing positive traits within a marriage.

5. Navigating Hard Times Together

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to how couples handle difficult periods. The guests discuss the value of seeking external support, such as counseling or mentorship, and maintaining open lines of communication.

Notable Quotes:

• Sadie (35:03): "Having outside voices speaking into our lives and being honest with each other has been super helpful."
• Christian (35:39): "Couples counseling has been great. We are phoning a friend."
• Bella (38:09): "Constantly keeping checking in with each other and laughing through hard times is one of the most beautiful things."

Sadie reflects on how overcoming hardships has led to a stronger, more mature relationship, emphasizing the role of mutual support and external guidance.

6. Creating Joy Through Laughter

The group shares various ways they bring joy and laughter into their relationships. From playful antics to spontaneous humor, they illustrate how laughter acts as a glue that holds relationships together.

Notable Quotes:

• Jacob (48:29): "I'm just a very goofy, weird guy. I don't really have a filter."
• Bella (49:25): "I love that about you. You always are with me and don't let me be by myself."
• Sadie (49:33): "Making each other laugh is a gift to one another."

These lighthearted exchanges highlight the importance of maintaining a sense of humor to navigate the everyday ups and downs of marriage.

7. Marrying Sisters and Relationship Dynamics

Christian and Jacob discuss the unique dynamics of marrying sisters, emphasizing the deep friendship and understanding that comes with such relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Jacob (52:09): "Whatever happens in your marriage and in your life, to a certain extent, just know the other side knows."
• Bella (53:12): "We all talk about everything. If y'all are arguing, y'all are."

They acknowledge the closeness and transparency that comes with marrying into sibling relationships, suggesting it fosters a supportive and open environment.

8. Evolution Over the First Five Years of Marriage

The conversation culminates with reflections on how each person has grown over the first five years of marriage. Topics include personal development, parenting, increased security, reduced anxiety, and evolving relationship dynamics.

Notable Quotes:

• Bella (54:05): "We've just changed so much and grown a lot in those ways."
• Sadie (60:01): "I'm way more secure in who I am as a person. I don't second guess or overthink."
• Christian (56:26): "Parenting and having two kids, about to have three, definitely changed in different seasons."

Sadie and Bella share how marriage and motherhood have brought about significant personal transformations, leading to greater self-assurance and emotional stability. Christian echoes these sentiments, discussing the shifts brought on by long-distance dating, quarantine, and parenting.

9. Conclusion and Future Topics

As the episode wraps up, Sadie encourages listeners to continue sharing their questions and suggests upcoming topics, including a potential discussion on the role of cussing in daily life. The group expresses gratitude for the engaging conversation and the opportunity to reflect on their marital journey.

Notable Quotes:

• Sadie (62:15): "Please keep sending topic ideas, questions that you have."
• Bella (62:28): "Love you guys."

The episode concludes on a heartfelt note, reinforcing the themes of love, support, and continuous growth within relationships.

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Key Takeaways:

• Communication is Crucial: Open and honest dialogue helps navigate both mundane and challenging aspects of marriage.
• Humor Strengthens Bonds: Sharing laughter and maintaining a playful demeanor can alleviate tensions and foster closeness.
• External Support Matters: Seeking counseling or mentorship provides valuable perspectives and coping mechanisms during tough times.
• Adaptability in Roles: Being flexible with household responsibilities and adapting to changing circumstances enhances marital harmony.
• Personal Growth Enhances Relationships: As individuals evolve, their relationships mature, leading to deeper understanding and companionship.

This episode of "WHOA That's Good" offers a blend of humor, honesty, and wisdom, providing listeners with relatable insights into building and maintaining a strong, loving marriage.

Transcript

[Sadie]

I can say to my new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, hey, find a keto.

[Bella]

Friendly restaurant nearby and text it to Beth and Steve. And it does without me lifting a finger so I can get in more.

[Sadie]

Squats anywhere I can.

[Bella]

1, 2, 3.

[Christian]

Will that be cash or credit?

[Sadie]

Credit.

[Jacob]

4 Galaxy S25 Ultra the AI companion that does the heavy lifting so you can do.

[Christian]

You get [e-mail] compatible with select apps.

[Jacob]

Requires Google Gemini account.

[Christian]

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[Sadie]

What's up everybody? I hope everybody's having a great Monday. All the sisters and brothers out there today. We have some very fun conversation topics that we're gonna dive into. First of all, I had the most fun people on the podcast. I have my husband Christian. It's an audio what's up it up boys from the live audience. And we have Bella and Jacob. Hello favorite.

[Jacob]

Hello people.

[Sadie]

Hello people.

[Jacob]

Hello people.

[Sadie]

And we are going to be talking about the first five years of marriage, newly married, all the different stuff. And we actually asked you guys what kind of questions you wanted us to answer. And we have a lot of yalls questions actually right here in your accounts, but we won't name that. And then just some other fun questions too. But one of the things that we have to start with because this has just been a fun question within our community lately is what is the ick of your spouse?

[Bella]

You want to go the ick? Well, the ick can be subjective. I would say depends on who you are, but. Hmm.

[Sadie]

The ick. An ick is your.

[Jacob]

No, I got mine.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

So it's objective's gonna say, nah, I'm gonna save the terrible ick. That's just a personal thing. But the number one ick. I'm not gonna be chapping you out here to the public. That's savage. But no, number one ick is Bella doesn't believe in the ceiling fan. Like she doesn't believe that. Like when you're in your room and you go to sleep to turn it on. And that might be the craziest thing I've ever heard.

[Christian]

Sadie's like that, too.

[Sadie]

My thing.

[Bella]

This is our dis.

[Christian]

We have no ceiling fans in our house.

[Sadie]

Cause.

[Bella]

It'S that ceiling fans are meant to use on demand when you're hot, but not every single.

[Christian]

I'm always hot, so it's just like.

[Bella]

It doesn't need to be on every.

[Sadie]

Night blowing on me.

[Bella]

But if you're hot, then you can use it as a backup.

[Christian]

Sleeping fans. When she, like, a. Like a fan when she sleeps. It, like, hurts her eyes.

[Bella]

It does my eyes, too.

[Christian]

My eyes sleep with your eyes closed.

[Jacob]

It makes sense.

[Bella]

My eyes water so bad. Water doesn't make any sense.

[Sadie]

It does make sense, Jacob.

[Christian]

It does not make any sense.

[Bella]

Most nights I go to bed, he's like, are you crying? I'm like, no, it's.

[Jacob]

No. You said when you got your new glasses, you were fine.

[Bella]

When I wear.

[Christian]

Make sense if you were, like, watching TV in your room and the ceiling fan was on, your eyes were watering. That's what happens if you're sleeping. Your eyes are shut.

[Jacob]

Just let us know in the comments. When you walk in your room. Go sleep.

[Christian]

Yeah, we have no fans in our house.

[Sadie]

Does ceiling make your eyes water?

[Jacob]

Let us know and we can agree on that. My thing is you turn it on and go to sleep like you ain't turning it off. I'm not sweating in the sauna in my bed. That's not how this is going.

[Sadie]

I actually can't believe that you let us not do fans in our house.

[Bella]

Okay.

[Christian]

Some things are better left just to.

[Sadie]

That's love.

[Christian]

You're welcome.

[Sadie]

Okay.

[Bella]

I have my ick for Jacob. This is my ick. Is that, unfortunately, Jacob is one of those people who just gets food in his teeth naturally. But the thing that it's. It's not an ache that you have food in your teeth. It's an ache that you don't care to get it out. I'll be like, hey. And he's like, it's okay. I'll get it later. I'm like, no. Like, go find a cat.

[Christian]

Carry those, like, flosser things.

[Bella]

I'll be like, jacob. And he's like, it's okay. And then keeps talking.

[Sadie]

He doesn't care.

[Bella]

No, it's not okay.

[Sadie]

That is a good quality.

[Bella]

That's the. That is.

[Jacob]

You get all of it.

[Sadie]

Very confident.

[Jacob]

All the food.

[Bella]

He doesn't care about the hygiene problem.

[Jacob]

She's just not a hygiene problem.

[Bella]

We'll be in public, and I'll see him talking to someone.

[Christian]

You're Gonna build up plaque in your teeth by not.

[Jacob]

I don't think I've been to dentist in two years.

[Sadie]

He should.

[Christian]

Your cavity, boy.

[Jacob]

I've never had a cavity.

[Sadie]

Well, you know why?

[Christian]

You. Because you don't go to the dentist.

[Jacob]

Well, yeah, I could probably do maybe not have one, but I didn't have one.

[Christian]

Your biggest ick I really. Well, you had a nick last night that really bothered me was, oh, yeah, Sadie fell asleep on the couch last night, and I went to bed, and I tried to go wake her up, like, legitimately six times. And each time it was like, I'm coming, I'm coming. And I'd be like, all right, see you in bed. And then she never would come.

[Sadie]

No, that's not what you say. You get so mad now.

[Christian]

The seventh time I walked in, I said, sadie, get up. And you're like, so it drives me. Yeah. I'm like.

[Sadie]

And then I'm like, why are you so mad at me?

[Christian]

If someone wakes me up? If someone wakes me up, I'm, like, conscious. Sadie's like. I'm like, just get up and go to, like.

[Bella]

That is you.

[Sadie]

That is your ick about me.

[Christian]

It is.

[Sadie]

You do get so mad about that.

[Bella]

You're napping. You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you just go right back to sleep.

[Christian]

Well, the first time I try to.

[Sadie]

Get her up is. Is I actually, like, falling asleep on the couch. And that bothers you?

[Christian]

No, it doesn't. It's fine.

[Sadie]

It bothers you because I. I don't wake up when you try to wake me up.

[Christian]

Well, the first three times I went in there, I was, like, rubbing her. I was like, hey, babe, you want to come to bed? I offered that. She said, no, you did not. Yes, you did. I carried Honey to bed. And then I said, do you want me to carry you too? And you were like, no, I'm coming. It's fine.

[Sadie]

I don't even remember that.

[Christian]

So the first, like, four times, I was sweet. I was like, hey, I'm coming to bed. You want to come? And you were like, yeah, I'm coming. And then finally, the seven. Like, literally, it was like, seven. I was like, get up and go to bed.

[Sadie]

And then it's so funny because I'm like, why are you so mad at me? And he's like, well, I tried to tell you so many times nicely, but I don't remember any of those, unfortunately.

[Christian]

And she finally gets in bed, and then she's like, can you go find my phone charger?

[Bella]

For me.

[Christian]

And I'm like, sure. And then she tells me it's in her purse. Go check the purse. Not in the purse. And then she said, actually, I think it's on the table. Go check the table. Not on the table. Then finally. Actually, no, actually, it's plugged into the outlet in the kitchen. So this all. Yeah. So I was.

[Sadie]

That's a good. That's fair. It's a fair egg. My egg of you is not quite as extreme. It's more change. Christian picks his nose in public like it's nothing. And it's not like a subtle, like, thumb, like, scrape off. It's like, knuckle, deep finger.

[Bella]

Oh, I have an egg.

[Christian]

For Christian.

[Bella]

It'S when he eats food.

[Christian]

Hold on. This was about spouses.

[Bella]

Yeah. What are you doing all the way in his mouth while he's eating his food?

[Sadie]

Sure.

[Christian]

First off, I used fork.

[Bella]

What were you eating the other day.

[Sadie]

That you did the other day that was bad?

[Jacob]

Sound like there's a bunch of haters.

[Bella]

I was watching Christian eat something the other day, and I was like, that's so true.

[Christian]

That it was. It was sushi. I can't use chopsticks, and they didn't have silverware.

[Bella]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sadie]

No, it was a fish. It was. Yeah. It's like. Yeah, that's the egg part.

[Christian]

Well, I will not apologize.

[Sadie]

The fact that you just don't care.

[Christian]

That other people have a deviated septum.

[Sadie]

Interesting to me.

[Christian]

And I have deep nostrils. So to get.

[Jacob]

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say deep nostrils.

[Christian]

Because you don't have deep nostrils.

[Jacob]

I don't think so. Well, maybe that was a thing.

[Christian]

And guess what?

[Jacob]

What?

[Christian]

I have fat fingers, so to reach the areas, I have to shove it in there.

[Sadie]

And that is a nick.

[Christian]

Yes.

[Jacob]

You're talking about eating your boogers. You eat them.

[Christian]

No.

[Bella]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jacob]

I thought we were talking about.

[Sadie]

No, that would be terrible. And that is Honey.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Christian]

You would not be married.

[Jacob]

We know. We know. We know who passed down the boogers to Honey.

[Bella]

Honey got that from you.

[Jacob]

Does Honey have deep nostrils?

[Sadie]

I promise you not to Honey. Honey doesn't have deep nostrils, but she does love picking her nose. And Haven now sees Honey do it, and she tries, and I'm like, don't do that. She's like, gross. Like, she's like, is it because I see Honey and my dad do it all the time?

[Jacob]

Bunch of gold diggers.

[Sadie]

Okay, this is a funny question. What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you as a couple. And I know that might be hard to think of, and this is not the most embarrassing thing, but last night we had a really embarrassing moment that I literally FaceTimed Bella to tell her because it was the funniest thing ever. I have to share. It was so funny.

[Christian]

You're going to say the word.

[Sadie]

I'm going to say it.

[Bella]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sadie]

It was too good.

[Bella]

We were going to hear this.

[Sadie]

We were FaceTiming Christian's parents, and we were just chatting about life and all the things, and I mentioned something awesome that Christian has going on in his life. I was like, oh, Christian, did you tell him about this conversation that you had today?

[Christian]

Well, my mom always gets upset with me because she doesn't think that I tell her things. And so. Which is.

[Sadie]

Which is a common thing. So, like, then she'll be like, christian, you didn't tell me that. Why didn't you tell me that? Okay, so then Christian goes on to share, and then I was like, oh, yeah. And the reason why he had that conversation is because this is so awesome that he's working on because of that thing that he's working on. And then his mom's like, well, I didn't know that either. And so then it was, like, spiraling, like, all the things she didn't know. And then Christian was like, well, okay, well, Sadie had a pap smear today. It just literally came out of nowhere.

[Jacob]

You want to know something else?

[Sadie]

It was like his mom and his dad, and they both were like, oh.

[Jacob]

And everyone just turned like, this will fix them. No, get them off my back.

[Sadie]

It gets worse.

[Bella]

It gets worse. I thought, too.

[Sadie]

So then I'm like, so embarrassed. I was like, yes, I did. And they were like, Everyone was just so red and awkward. I was like, yep, it was pretty bad. You know, those appointments never. And then Christian was feeling the awkward energy, and he was like, what's a pap smear? And then I was like, I didn't.

[Jacob]

Know what it was. He was just dropping knowledge and no definition.

[Christian]

I thought it was just like a follow up appointment.

[Sadie]

So he was like, well, I didn't want you to just not know. Sadie had a doctor's appointment today, but he didn't know what pap smear meant. And so he told me.

[Christian]

I thought pap smear just meant, like, this was a follow up where you just get your body checked.

[Jacob]

You gave him an image.

[Christian]

I didn't know it was.

[Jacob]

You gave him an image, My brother.

[Christian]

Yeah, I'm aware of that now. I did not Know that at the time.

[Sadie]

So I'm still embarrassed by that. That's less than 24 hours ago. Y'all got any.

[Jacob]

I mean, hey, they knew you had a pap smear. They just didn't know you had one yesterday.

[Sadie]

That's true.

[Christian]

Now you all. Now all the.

[Jacob]

Well, that's just saying, like, if you're pregnant, like, yeah. If you're going to your doctor's appointment, like.

[Sadie]

Like, we've all. His mom.

[Jacob]

Exactly.

[Sadie]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jacob]

Like, in the back of your head, like, I never think about that, but it's like, women do if they're pregnant. And I'm just saying. Christian was just like, here it is. Like, she had one yesterday. Like, you know, there's nothing wrong with.

[Sadie]

It's funny because it was just on me to then share, but that's also funny. What am I gonna say?

[Jacob]

It's your third child. You don't know what pap smear is.

[Bella]

Oh, I have an embarrassing story. And I won't tell it to the full extent, but I'll just tell loosely about it. But one time when we were.

[Jacob]

Oh, I just thought about the most embarrassing story, and it's on me. No, I'll let you tell the story. But right when we moved into our house, a little crawfish action. That's pretty embarrassing.

[Bella]

Oh, that was a bad story.

[Jacob]

I didn't think.

[Bella]

When we were talking about this, I didn't tell about the time. One time we were at the beach. Jacobs family.

[Jacob]

No, but the whole thing is, we had. The dude walked out the house with a toilet on his shoulder.

[Bella]

He.

[Christian]

I broke the system.

[Jacob]

I broke the whole thing.

[Bella]

He told us we had to buy a whole new toilet after that. I never even heard of that. You haven't heard that?

[Sadie]

I mean, I've heard that story. I've never heard of it happening to anybody else.

[Jacob]

Well, I just felt bad for him because he had to have on, like, some muck boots or something in that bathroom. The tile was white in there.

[Christian]

Usually I walk out with a plunger.

[Jacob]

Dude, I know, that was tripping on his back. He had a good day at that. I'm just being for real. It was bad.

[Sadie]

That was like when y'all first moved in.

[Bella]

It was terrible.

[Christian]

And you still eat crawfish.

[Jacob]

I got a housewarming gift, a new toilet.

[Christian]

End of the day.

[Sadie]

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[Bella]

No. I was gonna say one time when we were on a beach trip with his family and we were all in the car and Jacob was driving and he, we're with his mom, his stepdad, his sister and her friend. And Jacob back straight into, in his stepdad's car. Back straight into a pole. Are you.

[Jacob]

I just like it was a.

[Bella]

He scraped the whole side of his stepdad's car. The window goes down, the door pops open. It was just like he totally ruined his stepdad's car. And then we had to drive a 45 minute car ride with his stepdad, his mom, his sister and her friend. The whole car ride in the car.

[Jacob]

Was like, oh, it made me so bad.

[Bella]

It was like rattling and shaking.

[Jacob]

And that's why it was embarrassing.

[Sadie]

That is really embarrassing. And that, that speaks to like the embarrassment as a couple is like sometimes like your spouse does something or you do something that truly is embarrassing as a couple and then you're both in it together even though you didn't do it or they did it. But like you have to be a team in that moment. Like, you're with his whole family, and you're obviously, like, going to be with him. But it's, like, really hard because in the whole car.

[Bella]

The. The whole car, there's, like, wind coming in from, like, the window that got broken, and there's just, like. It's loud, and the car is rattling, and I'm just sitting there, like.

[Sadie]

How long have you all been married?

[Jacob]

About to be four years in June.

[Sadie]

No, at that point, I think we were.

[Jacob]

We weren't even married.

[Bella]

We weren't married, which is worse. I think we were dating for, like, a few months.

[Sadie]

That is.

[Bella]

I guess that wasn't our main.

[Christian]

Most of our embarrassing stories are more dating.

[Bella]

But that was pretty bad. I mean, I was so embarrassed.

[Jacob]

I feel like there's probably a lot of embarrassing stuff that happens. I just don't think about.

[Christian]

Well, when I clogged the toilet.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I thought about that for y'all last night.

[Bella]

Well, yeah, we thought about that for.

[Christian]

You guys when I was on standby on that flight. There's just a few things.

[Sadie]

Oh, yeah. I can't even say the most embarrassing one to its full story either, but when I was pregnant with Honey, there was just a lot you couldn't hold in, and it was very embarrassing.

[Bella]

Yeah.

[Sadie]

But I'm sure you'll all remember. You remember that before, I was preaching that Sunday.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Sadie]

But the thing is, now you don't get as embarrassed because it's, like, just part of it. It's just part of it. Like, if I clogged the toilet, I.

[Christian]

Would just be like, I'm thinking of embarrassing. Embarrassing stories are. Involve other people, not just.

[Sadie]

Yeah, yeah, I'll say.

[Bella]

The time when Jacob called the toilet was the most embarrassing as a relationship because Jacob left me alone with the plumber while he. I had to let him into the house.

[Christian]

Are you sure this is what you want to get?

[Sadie]

Hey.

[Bella]

And then. Wait, let him cry.

[Jacob]

No, I got another.

[Bella]

Let him into the house, open the door, and then say, this is the room. And then I wasn't like, my husband did it.

[Sadie]

I was just like, you let it be like it was you. No, no, I didn't. I just was like, that's.

[Bella]

I just was like, here.

[Jacob]

She put up caution. The floor is wet.

[Bella]

Before we went, I sat in the living room, and just like this, I heard all the noises going on there. I didn't know what was going on.

[Christian]

And to this day, I just saw.

[Bella]

Him walk out with the toilet on his back, and I was like, oh, My gosh. Oh, it's hilarious.

[Sadie]

That is hilarious.

[Jacob]

I got another thing. This is actually, like, common. No, I wouldn't say this is common, but this is, like, a easy. Everybody can relate to this. So we just moved into the house we living in, however long ago, and we just got Coco, our dog. We have a golden doodle, and we have a lab, but this is Coco's before Dixie. And, well, Coco, diarrhea in the kennel. And also hadn't met my neighbors yet.

[Bella]

Oh, no.

[Jacob]

And so I cleaned up the dirty kennel, and I put all the towels outside, and I was washing them off with the water hose. Well, my neighbor drives up to my house on a tractor, and I meet my neighbor while hosing off poop on my driveway. He's like, if there's anything you need, brother, you just call. And I'm, like, sitting here just, like, washing, like, very prominent poop.

[Bella]

It's like, 10 poop towels.

[Jacob]

Yeah, this is, like, 10 towels of poop in our driveway. And I'm just sitting here with, like, my shirt off and, like, Crocs just, like, washing off poop. I'm like, all right, brother. Thanks. Nice to meet you.

[Sadie]

That is hilarious.

[Christian]

He probably thought that was you.

[Sadie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jacob]

It could have been my own rags.

[Christian]

The plumber thought it was Bella. And then your neighbor.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I was like, it's a dog. And, yeah, he knew in the back.

[Sadie]

Of his head, he saw that toilet go out the first day I moved.

[Bella]

That would just make it worse.

[Sadie]

Okay, this is a good question. Any advice and tips you wish you knew before living together?

[Jacob]

I guess the best advice and tips, I guess, would be going into it knowing that you're gonna have to carry the weight of some type of role. It's just figuring out what that is, I guess, like, going into it. You don't know. Roles like figuring out who's going to take out the trash, who's going to wash the dishes, who's going to, you know, wash the clothes, and all that type of stuff.

[Bella]

I'll say, like, you think before you're married, you're like. You talk about those things like, you're going to do this, and you're. But it never really works out the way you think it's going to work out because you start to live and you're like, well, I'm. You know. And then you start to pick up other things. So I think before we got married, I remember when we were at premarital counseling, we, like, talked through, like, each other's roles, but Then we got married, and it was like, well, then I was like, oh, I'm doing all this. And you were like, well, I'm doing all this. And then it kind of was like, okay. And then we figured out what works for us.

[Jacob]

Yeah. I guess the best advice would be just open to play different roles that you've probably never done. Like, just be open, be a team player until you figure out, like, what's going on.

[Sadie]

And don't compare. Because we even had the argument the other day. It got on the train of, why do this and why do this? And, like, that is such a common argument within. You'll never win because you're never gonna win because you both do a lot. Like, you're both being. You know, you're both giving up things. You're both doing a lot. You're both serving each other in your household. And, like, I feel like when you start going down that track of what I do versus what you do, it just does not go well. And you really have to see yourself as a team, as a unit. Like, how can we help each other in this? How can we help our family? And, like, being willing to serve in places. And especially because life just. Seasons change, you know, sometimes you do something, and then in the next season, I do it or whatnot. Especially with having kids, because once we had kids, like, who knew you would be doing all the bottles and stuff like that? Or I would be doing mostly, like, the getting them ready. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you just have to pick up what works for that time and be.

[Bella]

Grateful you would ever have thought you were doing. You would do all the dishes and stuff. It's like, I never grew up thinking I was gonna do, like, all the handyman stuff. Like, I do. Like, I'm the one with the toolkit doing that type of stuff. And that was never. I'm talking about, like, installing things or whatever. Meeting with the plumber, installing with the plumber. I did install the bidet for Jacob, like, a real plumber, all the things, and then, like, hanging up stuff or, like, meeting with people at the house, like plumbers and electricians and stuff like that. Like, I didn't think that would be my role, but that's just. I'm more. I can do that better. And Jacob does the dishes. Thank God, because I do a lot of cooking, and I need somebody to cover the other side of cooking.

[Sadie]

That's how we are. I cook. Christian does all the dishes and cleans, and it. It works for us, you know, that wouldn't Work for everybody, but it works for us. I love to cook, enjoy cooking, but whenever I leave it in a mess, I'm so thankful that he comes behind me and cleans it up. And every couple's different because some couples are gonna have a fight listening to this podcast, going, he cleans the whole kitchen after, or what? And I do all this, you know? And so, again, like, one, don't compare yourself to other couples. Do not compare your spouse to someone else's spouse. That will always lead you down a bad trail and a bad track. And then two, like, bringing up what you do versus they do never goes well. But again, I think just being thankful, and I think one thing that we've noticed is, like, even though we're five and a half years in, it still goes such a long way to notice what the other person's doing and say thank you. Like, just. It's a common thing that I cook and you clean. But you still thank me for cooking. I still thank you for cleaning, you know, because.

[Christian]

And when you don't, I actually really get mad.

[Sadie]

You do. That is what I'm saying. That if I clean the kitchen for.

[Christian]

Like, some legitimately, some nights is, like, two and a half hours. And if somebody doesn't say thank you, I, like, get really mad.

[Sadie]

You do. But it's like, giving people the advice.

[Bella]

Some things that are, like, mean more to you, even if it's not as big of a job that just mean more to you. Like, I cooked and I cook all of our meals pretty much. But Jacob makes me coffee in the morning. And even though making coffee takes five minutes and making lunch and dinner takes hours, it's like, that means a lot to me. In the mornings when he makes my coffee, it's like, oh, that's just like, I love coffee in the morning before I get out of bed. It's like the best thing of the day when he brings me coffee before I wake up. And it's like, even if we wanted to compare, like, apples to apples, like, well, I spend hours with on cooking and you don't. It's like, whatever means something to you May. I don't know. Does that make sense?

[Sadie]

Oh, for sure. Some things go a long way right.

[Bella]

Now, even if it's little things.

[Sadie]

Can I share a recent, like, argument? But it's been a sweet theme, and then it turned into an argument with the diapers.

[Christian]

Sure.

[Sadie]

So, like, up until this season of life, I have changed many, many, many, many, many diapers. Christian has two. I'm not, like, the only diaper changer. But I'm gonna change the diaper.

[Christian]

Change a lot of diapers.

[Sadie]

Well, this pregnancy, I have been throwing up a lot. So every time I smell the poo poo diaper, I literally have to throw up. And so it means a lot to me when Christian changes the diaper, because I'm like, thank you, me. From a moment of, like, throwing up. And it's, like, frustrating to change a diaper, especially after I just ate a meal, because I know, like, I'm about to throw up my whole meal, but it's okay. I'll do it. But Christian's been so sweet and, like, stepped in for that. Well, the other day he made a comment like, so when is your.

[Christian]

It was a smart. A comment.

[Sadie]

Yeah, it was. Thank you. Is like, so when is your.

[Christian]

You asked me to change the diaper, and I said, how long is your diaper hiatus gonna be for?

[Sadie]

Yeah. And I was like, well, as I was like, as long as I throw up after I smell a little much. He made a sassy comment. Well, then I said, well, I changed her diaper last night, actually, a poo poo. And honey never does this, but she accidentally poo pooed, and I changed that, too. So it was two in one day. And he goes, oh, you changed one poo poo diaper. As if I have not changed so many over the past three years.

[Christian]

I was in the wrong.

[Sadie]

I know. So then that obviously created a healthy argument, but sometimes poo poo just gets in the way. I know. I'm not gonna say it, but. Beep. Happens. Life happens.

[Jacob]

Okay, we'll bring that back on the cuss in episode, boys.

[Sadie]

Anyways, all that to say, like, different seasons of life do require the other person serving in different ways than you thought you were gonna have to. And you too. And marriage gives you so many opportunities to be selfless and to serve. And then having kids gives you so many opportunities to be selfless and to serve. And that's why when they say, like, marriage is like a mir. You know, and sometimes it's like, whoa, I don't like that about myself. Like that. I think that just continues, you know, like, you. You're never going to get past that. Having to have that kind of sacrifice, that selflessness, that love. But I think that that. That's what makes it beautiful too, you know, that's part of love. And that's what. Part of. That's what's. That is part of what makes the family such a beautiful thing, is giving up certain things and serving in Certain areas and being selfless. But it is hard. Like there are moments that we just make comments and you just get annoyed or you know, all things and so yeah. Any tips and advice for before living together? I think those are great pieces of advice.

[Christian]

Well, not snuggle every single night.

[Sadie]

Oh yeah. Your expectations are important. Someone said how to react when marriage isn't going the way you thought it would be.

[Christian]

If you think you're gonna snuggle together every night, invest in the ceiling fan.

[Sadie]

I wanted to snuggle every night. For the record, it's not me. That's. That's easy.

[Jacob]

I was gonna say this too about just like, like whatever we were just talking about. About just like, like roles and stuff. I was just gonna say no matter what, we're all different people. Everybody's unique. All of us, even married couples. I'm just saying. So like perception for everybody is never going to add up the same. So if you look at it like your significant others having the same perception. Everyone values and views things at different levels. So you just got to play the roles that are given.

[Bella]

True.

[Jacob]

And that's goes back to being selfless is like people have different perceptions.

[Bella]

True.

[Sadie]

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[Jacob]

Now, to be honest about the ick thing, I didn't even have an ick before last night. As in, like, I just don't use that word. I don't like, think about that last night too. Like, I just don't think about that type of stuff. I know our icks are more like funny to me than they are funny.

[Bella]

And ick is just like something that like momentarily turns you off. Off to the other person.

[Sadie]

That sounds more dramatic.

[Bella]

It's just a momentary, like sounds intimate.

[Christian]

Or another.

[Bella]

It momentarily makes you like.

[Sadie]

Yeah. And it is not something that you actually don't like about yourself. It's just something that you're like, I don't, I don't understand that about you.

[Christian]

But if we get in the car, another. This is another.

[Sadie]

Before we get nicely.

[Christian]

Sorry. Sweet. But you get in the car and if you're driving, you pull out your phone and you start texting all those.

[Sadie]

People back before I drive.

[Christian]

Well, then I'm like, let me drive and you can text all these people.

[Sadie]

I don't text and drive. That's why I'm getting it done before I leave.

[Christian]

I know, but this is funny. Like you, you think to text people back when you get in the driver's seat and I'm like, let me drive.

[Sadie]

Because of yours, because of your follow up. Ick. Why don't you start with your favorite personality quality in your life.

[Christian]

You're so sweet that you are super genuine and authentic.

[Sadie]

That's very sweet. That has been something you've consistently said about me since we first met. So I appreciate that.

[Jacob]

Oh, Christian, good one.

[Sadie]

My favorite quality in you, Christian, is how deeply you care about your relationships. Sometimes it. Sometimes it's hard for you because of how much you care.

[Jacob]

But times to a fault, I can attest to that.

[Christian]

Oftentimes it's to a fault.

[Sadie]

But you love people really deeply and you're very loyal to your people. Thank you. I appreciate that.

[Jacob]

Oh, it's on me. I thought I was gonna bounce off you. I think for me and Bella, I think are my favorite quality. I don't know if this is a couple quality or just a Bella quality, but like, Bella's a very servant hearted, I think. And like always serve. Like, I don't ever feel like Bella's not. Like, Bella's always willing to help me out, like, in anything I do. Like, I know in anything I'm gonna go in. I know Bella's gonna be, like, by my side and, like, help me, like, in whatever way she can. Like, whatever that looks like. But the other thing I was gonna say is another thing I love about me and Bella is me and Bella can laugh in anything. Like, I'm telling you, in the worst things, we can laugh. Like, we could just have a good time. It doesn't matter. Like, I could have my leg cut off, and I think we could be already making fun of my, like, me having half a leg.

[Bella]

Dark humor.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Like, we just have fun. Like, I remember Bella, like, when we were engaged. Like, she, like, had, like, a deal, and we ended up going to the hospital, and I think we just laughed the whole time we were in the hospital.

[Bella]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Like, I mean, I was. It was scary or whatever, but, like, after that, like, we just were goofing off. I don't know.

[Sadie]

That's true about y'all.

[Bella]

True. I have so many videos from that hospital stay of us just. You're being so funny, just being able.

[Jacob]

To find humor and everything.

[Sadie]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I had to work her into that, though, because sometimes she's like, it's not funny. But now, after about three and a.

[Bella]

Half years, it took a little adjusting.

[Sadie]

But, yeah, I see that.

[Bella]

Thanks, babe. I think that might. Why are you looking at me like that? I think that my favorite quality about Jacob is that he is always, like, on my team. I feel like you always. We do everything as a team, and I feel like you're always. If it's your win, it's my win, too. Or my win, it's your win, too. Like, sometimes I'll joke with Jacob because I'll do something at work, and Jacob would be like. Like, after we did this. But it's like, even if I did it, it's like, we did it because we literally do everything together. And so, like, working at Duck Commander, we've had so much fun together. Because I work at Duck Commander, and Jacob doesn't necessarily work at a Commander, but he helps me with every single project. I do. I do Commander, and I just feel like you always help me with everything, and you want to be on my team to help, and I don't know. I just feel like I love that about you. You always are with me and don't let me, like, be by myself that often. Like, even if we're doing different things, you're always Rooting for me or helping me with whatever I'm doing. True.

[Sadie]

I see that in both of y'all. That's so sweet. Someone asked a question, I'm trying to find it, how they phrase it, but it was basically like, how do you go through hard things together? It was like, how do you go through moments of grief together, hard things. And you just spoke a little bit to like being in the hospital or scary times. And I think that is something that like no one can really prepare you for for marriage until it happens to you, you know, like I. Our first year of marriage was like really good and I mean relatively easy in the sense that things just were pretty smooth, you know. And a lot of people warned us the first year is so hard, we didn't experience that. And then it was like the next year, closer to year three. That was like so hard for us because we went through something together that was very hard that we've shared. And I think that for us it has been important to have outside voices speaking into our lives and like being honest with other people, with what we're going through has been super helpful for us because within like, it's like if you have something, when you go through something by yourself, you can get in your head about something and you begin to gain a perspective that's very small to just like what you went through. And then when you go through something as a couple, you can kind of get that way together, you know, like in some sense like you both can get that small mindedness, you both can get in that like not being able to see the other perspective or outside of the situation you just went through. And so I think in both individual and as couples, like, like it's so important to confess things, to talk about things and to have an outside voice say, like, here's what I see in this, here's how I, you know, I'm going to pray for you to get through it. Bringing friends into it, bringing a mentor into it, bringing a counselor into it, I think has been really helpful for us during like hard, hard seasons of our life. And also just knowing like, I think because we've had so many long lasting marriages in our family to look to and they've all been so open and honest about like you're going to go through hard times, but you're also going to get through like you can get through them. And like two mama shared about how like seasons were hard, years were hard, you know, but when you look back at a 50 year marriage, it's so fruitful. And so blessed. And so in those moments, having the perspective of, like, we can get through this, and we're going to get through this, and we're going to come out of this with a lot more wisdom than we had before, you know, And I think that hard year led us into some of the best two years that we've had. You know, like, this past year. I feel like we know each other so much more deeply. We don't. We don't argue about the stuff we used to. We've matured in a lot of ways, and a lot of that was going through the hard things. So I think truly getting through it together and letting outside voices has been a huge thing for us.

[Christian]

Yep. Yeah, I agree. I think couples counseling has been great. And like, individual people that you can. Yeah. Confess and repent and do life with.

[Sadie]

We're all about phoning a friend.

[Christian]

We are phoning. We're phone or friendsers.

[Bella]

I would say we've just learned a lot about. In the past three and a half years, just how to constantly keep checking in on each other about something. I feel like if you know that or if you're going through something together, like, even if sometimes it feels awkward and you're like, hey, are you okay? It's like it feels awkward in the moment, but like, even if at the moment they're like, yeah, I'm fine. Maybe later, like, you'll think about it and you'll be like, oh, like, that actually is still weighing on me. Or like, oh, like, I have still been thinking about that, or if there's something that you go through. I feel like constantly keeping checking in with each other and then also, like Jacob said, like, laughing through hard times. And I think. I think laughing and crying together is one of the most beautiful things that you can do together is like, be in something really hard together and go through a really hard season and then also laugh about it. And I think a lot of times me and Jacob, like, we kind of have, you know, dealt with some hard things. And I think that a lot of times it can be really heavy and sad, but when we lay our head down at night, we can talk about it and laugh and, like, laugh through kind of like, maybe the funny elements of a hard situation, which sometimes is hard to do, but you just have to pull out those things in the situation that can kind of like. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it's very unique to go through something hard with someone else in the same situation. You know what I mean?

[Sadie]

Very vulnerable. Yeah.

[Bella]

Just like, even if, like, you have a family issue, it's like, well, I'm feeling this deeper than you are because it's my family. Or you're feeling this deeper than I am because it's your family. But it's like, it's very unique time to go through something together at the same time. And I feel like when you do that, it's so important to just. Just keep communicating always. And I think our. Our premarital counselor always told us, over communicate. It's like, you. You can't under. I mean, you can't over communicate. So just constantly check in with each other. A friend of ours, actually, Morgan Krueger, people may know her, she told us when we were dating that it was like, you can't read each other's minds. Like, don't, don't. Don't let yourself be a mystery to the other person. Like, it's not fun to, like, try to guess what the other person's thinking. And I feel like we learned that a lot early on. It's just like, over communicate. It's not fun to be mystery. Like, when you're married. Just over communicate and be honest.

[Sadie]

Yeah, I love that.

[Jacob]

I guess the other thing is from. For us, or just opposite. You know, it's learning just. I guess it goes back to, like, roles, too, is like, just, like, you're saying, like, some stuff's harder for the other person, like, just learning how to, like, like, be. Because we all have ways that we deal with things. We all have ways we cope with things. We have, like, the normal things that we grew up with. On how we, like, resonate with whatever's going on in our life and learning how to be that person for someone else. Because, like, how I cope and deal with things is not how Bella does it. And it's definitely very foreign to me, like, obviously to learn that, because most people that get married didn't grow up with each other. Like, they're not your siblings. They don't know how you roll. And so it's like learning, like, how Bella needs to be nurtured in a grieving moment or in a sad moment or in a happy moment or just, like, how to, like, you know, love that person and hard things.

[Sadie]

It's so true.

[Jacob]

It's like. It's just very different.

[Sadie]

It's just like, learning and learning people.

[Jacob]

And it goes down to the mystery thing of, like, you're gonna have to ask.

[Sadie]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Like, it ain't. You ain't gonna figure it out. You gotta ask, like, how to. You Know, fulfill someone's need.

[Bella]

Because I think that's what we've learned about each other is like. Like, you kind of need to be asked. I feel like you're not just going to be like, talk about the hard things just while you're feeling them. It's kind of like, how are you doing? And then maybe you'll tell me how you're doing. You know what I mean? But that's just the way that you kind of.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bella]

Just have grown up. That's your personality. Whereas, like, I'm more like, I. If I feel something, I have to say it. Like, I'm just very honest in that way. So it's like, if I'm thinking about something at night, I can't just keep it in my head. I have to tell you what I'm thinking about, you know, And I need you to just listen to me. You know what I mean?

[Jacob]

Exactly. That's all I need.

[Bella]

I just need you to hear what I'm talking about and listen. And I don't really need you to, like, you know, give me a million questions. I just need you to hear what I'm telling you.

[Sadie]

That's so real. Learning the way that each other goes through those things, like.

[Jacob]

Cause that's the kind of person I am. When Bella used to say stuff, I would just be like, well, then just do this. Think about it like this. And it's like, that doesn't help anything.

[Bella]

Doesn't need, doesn't work.

[Sadie]

You and I, I would, like, wanna. Let's have this conversation right there and let's deal with it. Let's get to the. Whereas, like, you need some space. Like, you need to go sit outside for a little bit or go on a walk. And I've realized, like, if I let that happen, it comes back to a better conversation than just powering through on the same tone, you know, like, you need to go gain perspective or need to, like, not, like, cool off or whatever. And then I need to think about what I'm saying and what process what just happened instead of just like, finishing the conversation right there and right it. Right then and there. So I do feel you learn that, like, one thing we learned through going through hard things is, like, Christian goes more towards, like, anger and hard moments or tough moments. And I go towards fear and tough moments or hard moments. And sometimes anger and fear do not do a good job of nurturing one another, you know, but seeing it for what it is, it's like, you're not angry at me, you're angry at the situation, like, I'm fearful and having anxiety. There's nothing you can really do to fix it other than just be with me, you know, and so, like, and I'm not y learning that is important.

[Christian]

When someone's angry, they're not very.

[Sadie]

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[Jacob]

You know what to have to say about that. It's just marriage. Just learning to navigate. Like, people can say whatever they want, but, like, that's just marriage. Like, you're gonna fuss, you're gonna fight, and like, you're gonna. I don't mean, like, fight. I just mean, like, you're gonna have tips, like, you're gonna get upset with other person. But it's learning, like. Like everyone's ticks and how they roll, like. Like, you know, and you go to fear and you go to, like. It's just how people are wired. It's not a bad thing. It's learned, like, God gave us all emotions. It's just learning how to navigate those emotions and acting on them and doing.

[Sadie]

That together is a gift.

[Bella]

Yeah, I was gonna say the best thing I think you can do for the other person in time of, like, grief or suffering is just, like, give the other person your full attention. I think that that's one way that we figured out. Just. It doesn't work. It's like you're on your phone and I'm trying to tell you something, or you're cleaning the kitchen and I'm trying to. You know, it's like the best thing you can do for the other person when they're feeling, like, down about something is just give the other person your full attention.

[Sadie]

Yep.

[Bella]

I think that that's really important.

[Sadie]

I'm looking at this verse because I keep thinking about it as we're talking, and it's so true, and it's a classic one, but I want to read it exactly how it is. Ecclesiastes 4, 9. Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help them up, pitying the man who falls and doesn't have anyone to help him up. But if two lie down together, they will keep each other warm. How. But how can one keep warm alone? The one may be overpowered. Two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. And I love that verse. And we did like the cord of three strands at our wedding with Louis. He led us in that and really spoke that over us. And I think, like, that's the gift of marriage in those moments is, like, you have somebody to walk through that with. And so you need to see it for what it is. Like, the gift to go through the hard together, the gift to go through the good together. And being able to be that for your spouse is, like, such a blessing. And I remember having Brandon and Brittany Lake on the podcast, and Brittany was. I think her best piece of advice is like, pray for your spouse. And she was like, because who else is going to pray for your spouse like you are, you know? And it was very convicting to me because I, of course, like, pray for a Christian, but not, like, pray for you. Like, I need to, you know? And I feel like I find myself thinking about her advice a lot, like. Like, we are those people to do that for each other. You know, we're the people to go through life and to help each other and pick each other up. We're the people to keep each other warm and the people to, like, make life fun with each other and create life. Like, when we were just in London, we got to this place, and the room was a little bit different than we expected, and it was kind of like, it wasn't, like, the easiest place to stay, you know? And Christian immediately was just like, oh, this is not going to be good. And we just kind of, like, had to reboot. And I was like, like, well, it's gonna be good if we make it good, you know, because, like, we get to create what this adventure is for our family, what this adventure is for our kids. And by the end of it, Christian was like, this was such an amazing trip and moment, and I'm never gonna forget this particular place that we were in and how much Honey loved it and Haven loved it. And it's like, we thought they weren't gonna like it, but then once we shifted our perspectives, like, we get to create their memories. Like, we get to create our memories, like, how we make this. And it was, like, the most fun thing. I think that's a good picture of what marriage can be like. You get to create a life together. And so even back to the roles and the serving one another, like, the more you do that, the better your life's gonna be. Like you joking about the ceiling fan. You're like, it'll just be easier to see better. There are some things, and that's a small, funny example, but there are some things that you really can compromise on or let go of that will just make your life a lot better, you know, and you get to decide that as a couple. Someone asked a question. I thought it was a good question. They said, what are little things that do to bring each other joy? I was thinking the other night, because we had dinner with mom and dad, and Christian was asking them some marriage questions and, like, things that they fell in love with each other for, things that they were surprised by marriage and all these different fun things. And then they got to talking about things that make each other laugh. And dad said, for the past, like, however many years they've been married 30 years. Dad said, I can't even count how many times I'VE jumped into bed like this. He, like, jump into bed and he go fish on the water, and it just makes mom laugh. And I was like, that's such a good example of just, like, doing something to make your spouse laugh that just makes life better. And again, like, you get to create what your life is. Making each other laugh is a gift to one another. But do y'all have any funny things y'all do that, like, you know, will make each other laugh?

[Jacob]

I feel like I just do a bunch of random stuff all the time. Yeah.

[Bella]

Jacob does about a million things a day to make me laugh, and about, like, 75% of them hit.

[Sadie]

That's so true. Sometimes Bella, like, would not be laughing. I'm like, how do you not laugh at him?

[Bella]

Like, he's so funny, but he does it non stop. So it's just, like, normal to me now.

[Jacob]

I said, out of this group of four people that we were talking about Jacobson, I said, sadie, for humor is my number one fan.

[Sadie]

I laugh at everything. Actually. If you go back on this podcast, the amount of times I've laughed or had tears coming out is. That's a gift, I would say.

[Bella]

Yeah, I don't know what we do that, like, makes each other laugh.

[Jacob]

There's nothing like, pinpoint. I would say I was just like, I'm a pretty. Like, a lot of people probably don't know me, but I'm just a very goofy, weird guy. And I don't really have a filter, especially around people.

[Sadie]

43 minutes in, people have noticed.

[Jacob]

Yeah. So, like, I just like to have fun. Like, I don't know, I just like to goof off. Like, it's fun to be serious, too. Like, it's good moments to do that. But, like, if I'm not, like, making somebody laugh or trying to. A lot of stuff don't hit, but you just got to own it.

[Sadie]

Dad is, like, king of, like, trying to make mom laugh. And it's very sweet.

[Bella]

I feel like Jacob is always trying to make me laugh. And you do most of the time, but I think with you, you just don't let it phase you. If I don't laugh, you're just like, get them next to me.

[Jacob]

There's multiple times where Bella's like, I'm.

[Sadie]

Laughing at things that you do that made me laugh. You're dancing. Anytime you dance publicly, it makes me laugh.

[Christian]

Well, the problem with. The problem with that is I'm not necessarily trying to make you laugh.

[Bella]

Oh, Jacob does a classic.

[Christian]

Suck at dancing.

[Bella]

Jacob does a classic, like, When I'm like, look at him, I'm like, oh, you look cute. And then he'll, like, turn his hat to the side and do, like, a weird smile like this. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I feel like every time I tell you that you look good, you have to do something weird to make me not think you look good.

[Sadie]

That is so real off.

[Bella]

But I don't know. I can't think of anything.

[Jacob]

There's tons of times, though, like, something doesn't hit with Bell, and she's like, that's not funny. And then I just do something else.

[Sadie]

That's true. You just keep rolling. Is there anything that. That we didn't make each other laugh besides public dancing? That is pretty funny.

[Jacob]

Anytime when he starts with that voice.

[Christian]

Well, I, I. I'm trying to think of something, like, I can't think of something off the bat that, like, you do make me laugh, but I'm trying to.

[Sadie]

Like, when Christian goes, but it's more just, like, spontaneous weirdness, then that's what.

[Jacob]

I think I was gonna say, like, when he's, like, on some, like, food or coffee, and you're like, how is it? And he's like, oh, my God, that's so good.

[Sadie]

Oh, yeah, you're.

[Jacob]

You do that all the time. Like, different voices. Exactly.

[Sadie]

There.

[Bella]

That's the basic.

[Jacob]

This is the best thing I've ever had.

[Sadie]

Or like, whenever I'm really into a story and I'll be so serious about it, and then you match my tone, and I know you're just, like, being sarcastic, and it makes me laugh. That is funny.

[Christian]

I'm just very surprised.

[Sadie]

I'm just weird randomly. Okay, this is funny. For the husbands of the group, Christian and Jacob. What is it like marrying sisters who have a close relationship and do a lot of things together?

[Christian]

It's the. It's really the sweetest.

[Sadie]

That's what I mean.

[Bella]

That's it.

[Sadie]

That's it. And it's funny because not everyone would know you're joking, but I do. And so people will be like, christian.

[Bella]

And then it's even more funny.

[Jacob]

Still getting around to that fix on your car. You got this on ebay. You'll find millions of parts guaranteed to fit. Doesn't matter if it's a major engine repair or your first time swapping your windshield wipers. Ebay has that part you need ready to click perfectly into place for changes big and small, loud or quiet. Find all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. But you already know that. EBay things people love. Eligible Items Only Exclusion Supply.

[Christian]

What's it like marrying sisters?

[Sadie]

Well, marrying close. Like, Jacob has it to do. You have it double.

[Bella]

Because me and his sister are best friends, and then me and my sisters are best friends.

[Jacob]

So let me just put it.

[Bella]

We always joke. Like, that tick tock sound. That's like. And you need to hear this, too. Me and Kaylee. You know that one that's like.

[Christian]

Oh, yeah, I see that one a lot.

[Bella]

That's it. It's like when you're. It's like that tick tock sound that's like they're telling a story. Then they're like. And you need to hear this, too. You. That's Jacob in every situation because he's just always hearing whatever we're talking about.

[Jacob]

I don't know what you're talking about, but this is what it's like marrying sisters. Whatever happens in your marriage and in your life, to a certain extent, just know the other side knows. Just. I just know if Bella calls her sister or calls my sister, like, you might as well just get ready to be an open book, because it's gonna go down like that.

[Christian]

Yeah. I mean, I don't really know how to.

[Jacob]

I mean.

[Christian]

I mean, we're just. We're just all good friends. I don't know.

[Sadie]

I think that's what I would. That's what I would expect you to say. Like, I think it's been. For you, it's been a gift because you and Jacob have. Are so close, you know? So, like, when I want Bella to come over, it's perfect because Bella and Jacob come over and we hang out till super late, and we all have fun and love it. So, like, that's not everybody's case.

[Jacob]

It's good. But it could be chat. Like, you know, like, you could. You know, I could be like, me and Christian could hate each other or something.

[Sadie]

Like, you know, y'all get mad at each other for pickleball. It's awkward for us sometimes.

[Bella]

I was gonna say, I think, contrary to what you were saying about how, like, it would be, I would tell Sadie everything. It's like, we all talk about everything. And so I feel like when we're all together, it's like, if y'all are arguing or if we're arguing, y'all are.

[Sadie]

Arguing, we know if y'all are arguing.

[Bella]

If y'all are arguing. If. Yep. We don't argue.

[Sadie]

There's never really.

[Bella]

We all kind of just are in front of each other, just how we are. We don't have to, like, there's not.

[Jacob]

A lot of unknown.

[Sadie]

Real.

[Bella]

Yeah.

[Sadie]

And be okay with. With people knowing. And I think that's a good. I think that's a good thing. All right, last question. In what ways over the past five years have you seen your spouse or partner or whatever change, and how has that impacted your relationship? Deep question.

[Bella]

So much.

[Sadie]

So much did you say you've seen?

[Bella]

I mean, I know I've ch. Changed so much. We got married when I was 18 and you were 21. So I feel like now we're 22 and 25. We've just changed so much. I mean, I was 18, and now I'm 22, so I just feel like those years are. So you change. Formative is like, I graduated college. I'm in grad school. I'm, like, such a different person than just graduated high school. Like, just. We're both so different. So I feel like we've changed a lot and grown a lot in those ways.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Just growing up, learning how to, like. Like I said, roles in marriage, roles in life, like, learning how to, you know, just pay the bills, like, figure out all that stuff, like finances and, like, whole nine yards, making plans for future. Like, yeah, it's just, like, a lot of maturing and, like, growing up, we've.

[Bella]

Really grown up together.

[Sadie]

It's true. Sweet. I think the biggest thing that I've seen for you, like, changing you, that's been really cool to get to witness, is, like, you becoming a dad to Honey and Haven and how much you really have started our family. Like, you jokingly, you talk about being mad at me for being like, I got my phone charger and this and that, but you really do. Like, you always are. Like, can I get you water? Can I get you this? Like, last night, you spent forever working on Haven's new baby monitor because you, like, did not want to lose any of our footage that we had on the other one. Like, you just care so much for our family and serve our family so much, and that's something that I couldn't have necessarily seen when we were dating, you know, because, like, the opportunities weren't there in that way, you know? And I saw it some in early marriage, of course, but now I see that a lot. Like, even at night, you'll jokingly roll your ey, but you will always massage my feet, you know, like, you just serve our stinky hands. You serve our family so beautifully. And that's been something that I think has genuinely changed in you, you know, like, God, has grown that part of you that's, like, willing to serve and look for areas.

[Christian]

Thanks for saying that. Yeah. Cause we went from dating long distance to engaged long distance to getting married, and then Covid hit soon. So then we were quarantined together in a house. So that was a different transition. And then, yeah, now parenting and having two kids, about to have three kids. It's definitely. It definitely changed in mid different seasons.

[Sadie]

But I think I've changed a lot, too.

[Christian]

You have changed a lot.

[Sadie]

But I feel like I've changed in, like, some ways that I'm like, it feels weird. And I feel like moms can probably relate to this. Whereas I feel like I remember a conversation we had. It was a long time ago, and y'all won't. Y'all probably won't remember this, but someone asked, like, who's funny? Or me or Christian? And Jacob said, Christian. And Bella said, me. And then I remember Jacob being like, Sadie. And then you're like, yeah, like, Sadie is really funny. And used to. I was like, really? I was like a genuinely funny person, but I was always trying to be funny. I was being weird, goofy, crazy. Like, that was just so my personality. And I still have that in me, but not quite as much. I feel like I'd just a lot more chill, a lot more relaxed, and, like, I laugh at everybody else. Like, I don't have to be, like, the person doing something crazy. More like laughing at other people doing crazy things now. But. And some of that was kind of like, wait, am I not funny anymore? Wait, where is that side of me? But I think it's just. It's just changed, and I don't really know why. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but I don't know. There are some things in me that have changed. I think just becoming a mom and life being busy and being home. I still enjoy the fun. I want to laugh. I'm around the crazy. I just like. When I look back at, like, our Sadie and Laney videos, it cracks me up because they're, like, so crazy. And I'm like, I think I still have that in me. I'm just not like that as much anymore. And you mentioned that the other day. You're like, you're a lot more introverted than you used to be. And that might just be the nature of, like, our life being so public like that when I'm home, just a little bit more chill. But I don't know. Don't you feel like you picking up your slack I think you got weirder.

[Bella]

It's like people you surround yourself with. And I feel like you and Laney together are just so funny. And, like, Laney's so goofy and silly, which I don't know if she still is either, because it's like, we talked about it together. When y'all were together, y'all were so goofy. I feel like if y'all still got together now, y'all may would still be that way. It's just y'all together. You know what I mean?

[Sadie]

I do revert back.

[Bella]

Yeah. I feel like I have friends like that who, like. Like, even Kaylee. Like, me and Kaylee. I'm definitely. Probably my goofiest self with Kaylee. We. I don't know why. It's just like. That's just how it is. But then when I'm. I'm not as goofy without her, so. And Jacob used to say when we first started, he's like, why do you and Kaylee always have so much fun together? And then like, when we get together, you're not like, all goofy, silly, funny. I'm like, I don't know. It's just the people you're around. Some people you have different relationships with.

[Sadie]

That's true.

[Bella]

It's just that.

[Sadie]

That is true. What have you. What have you seen changing me? And maybe. I don't know. And for the most part.

[Christian]

Yeah. I mean, I think just mothering, mothering, mothering.

[Bella]

I feel like for me, say you may.

[Jacob]

No, yeah.

[Bella]

Say this too. But I was going to say, like, I feel like for me, I used to have a lot more anxiety.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bella]

And really struggle with, like, anxiety and, like, stress a lot. And since we've been married, not just because I feel like the biggest marriage.

[Jacob]

You were a lot more.

[Bella]

And it's not just like, oh, we got married and all went away. It was more like just having someone to talk through things with and go through that together with. I feel like I've really changed in that way. I'm not like that anymore. And I don't know, I feel like you may say something similar, but it's like, yeah, marriage. Having a good, healthy marriage really can helped out a lot.

[Sadie]

Yes.

[Bella]

You have someone who you know, and we could have definitely help you through those times.

[Jacob]

Definitely make it worse, too, if you don't like.

[Bella]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jacob]

I could have definitely made it worse if I didn't deal with. I'm not saying I'm perfect. Obviously, we had our slippery slope. I'm just saying, like, it could have got worse. It's not like marriage fixed it. Like, you don't get married, it fixes.

[Bella]

Yeah, but I feel like having a good, healthy marriage where your partner supports you and helps you through, like, that. I feel like I just don't have that anymore. And we talk about all the time. We're like, it's so funny that we. I used to struggle with that, because now I just don't.

[Sadie]

Yeah, I think that is 100% true for me. I'm not as anxious. I'm way more secure in who I am as a person. I'm not. I don't second guess as much overthink what other people think of me, because I feel like I know who I am. And I feel like that really helps when someone else knows who you are and loves you and accepts you for who you are. And maybe that's why in some ways, I have chilled out, because I just feel, like, very secure in myself, in any room I'm in, which is, like, a huge gift. And that, like, I think a lot is contributed to our friendship and our marriage and. And also becoming a mom and just the past, you know, everything we've been through, been so helpful.

[Bella]

But just having someone who, like, loves you no matter what and loves you for who you are, I think, like, even with don't stop being Friends body, stuff, like, I feel like I used to struggle way more with, like, my body or whatever I looked like or always wanting to look good and stuff like that. And since we got married, it's just like, I know Jacob loves me no matter what. That's not a worry anymore.

[Jacob]

You know, I don't feel strug with that, too. I used to really struggle what I look likes, and so it's really bad. You know me, I'll be rolling out here like this, like, come on, baby.

[Sadie]

Come on, baby. I cannot, y'all. I actually love this so much. First of all, thank you, everyone, for sending in such great questions so that we could laugh and have serious conversations. And I think it was, like, good reflection for all of us, too, in the first five years of our marriage. And I can't wait to continue on and all the different things. Please keep sending topic ideas, questions that you have. We kind of jokingly mentioned we're gonna do a conversation, a messy conversation on, is it okay to cuss what that looks like in our daily lifestyle? Bella and Jacob are both nervous about it.

[Christian]

We're maybe gonna do this.

[Bella]

We are.

[Sadie]

Maybe.

[Jacob]

I just don't know if they're gonna be able to handle it. That's all I'm saying.

[Sadie]

So let us know if y'all are interested in that or what y'all want to hear us talk about. But love you guys. And love you guys. Thanks for doing this podcast with me.

[Christian]

Love you.

[Bella]

Love y'all.