Farting All Night on a First Date (w/ Beck Bennett)

Summary

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: Farting All Night on a First Date (w/ Beck Bennett)

Release Date: May 8, 2026
Guest: Beck Bennett (Comedian, Actor, SNL, Superman movie, "What's Our Podcast?")

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedian and actor Beck Bennett, best known for his tenure on Saturday Night Live, discussing the messy, hilarious, and heartfelt realities of dating and relationships. Nicole and Beck swap stories about first dates, the evolution of long-term partnerships, and how intimacy and embarrassment often go hand-in-hand. The episode explores how Beck met his wife, navigated long-distance, and what makes love and partnership work in practice—not just theory.

Tone: Playfully candid, self-deprecating, and delightfully awkward, with honest discussions about sex, vulnerability, and relationship dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Meeting and Falling for His Wife (Jessie)

Timestamps: 04:49–12:03

• Beck recounts meeting Jessie during a sketch for the group Brightanic, playing her boyfriend onscreen before sparks flew offscreen.
• Initial conversations and hangouts evolved into real chemistry, culminating in karaoke nights and hanging out in hotel rooms with friends.
• Beck describes himself as never having been aggressive in romance:

  "I've never been overly, like, you know, aggressive, which is... yeah. Which is good. I've always been overly aggressive, which is an asset of me."
  — Beck Bennett & Nicole Byer [07:56]

• Their eventual first official dinner date at Masa in Echo Park is described in loving, comic detail, including Beck forgetting his wallet and Jessie paying:

  "She paid for the show and dinner and drinks at Prada across the street from Masa afterwards. But I was paying rent in my room where we ended up staying the night."
  — Beck Bennett [02:29]

• The date ends with not sex, but mutual indigestion ("helping each other fart throughout the night"), framing their comfort and compatibility:

  "Just Dutch oven in each other's farts. It was so beautiful. And we knew from that day that we could be... we could have children together."
  — Beck Bennett [02:53]

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2. Love is Trust & Surviving Long Distance

Timestamps: 31:26–36:14

• Beck and Jessie dated eight years, including six of long distance while Beck was on SNL in New York and Jessie was in Los Angeles.
• Maintaining connection involved frequent visits and, crucially, trust:

  "She'd be like, do you love me? And I would say yes, and she'd be like, well, love is trust... I can just trust you. And that's kind of what made it all easier."
  — Beck Bennett [34:03]

• Nicole and Beck discuss honest communication and not taking distance or a partner's bad day personally:

  "At the end of the day, if I don't want to listen to you, that's not a reflection on you. Yeah, it's not even a reflection on me. It's like, I just don't have the capacity. And it's like, be honest about it."
  — Nicole Byer [36:02]

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3. The Awkward, Subversive Engagement

Timestamps: 37:16–41:17

• Jesse bristles at traditional, patriarchal engagement expectations. They decide together to get engaged, shop for a ring, and Beck presents it one morning in a casual, mutual way:

  "We were long distance, and Jesse was like, what is this thing where I have to wait and, like, be surprised? Like, it's all in the man's... it's... what's this, like, tradition...? ...choosing to get married is our decision."
  — Beck Bennett [37:30]

• Their post-engagement camping trip in Joshua Tree becomes a comedy of misadventure: tent blown away, fleeing to a Day's Inn, sleeping in twin beds:

  "And we were like, that's so funny... Bad engagement, getting married."
  — Beck Bennett [40:48]

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4. Intimacy, Embarrassment & Sex: Sock 'Em Boppers & More

Timestamps: 21:36–24:29

• Nicole brings up an internet rumor that Beck used Sock 'Em Boppers to masturbate as a teen:

  "To jerk off."
  — Nicole Byer [21:46] "Yes, that is correct. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. Now it's out there."
  — Beck Bennett [21:47]

• The two exchange stories about creative teenage sexuality and the shame or creativity involved, laughing over "hacks" like vibratory pens and stolen vibrators:

  "The creativity of the human brain."
  — Nicole Byer [22:58]

• Conversation about masturbation taboos for different genders, and references to the show "Neighbors" and OnlyFans, maintaining the show's signature frankness.

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5. Navigating Jealousy, Arguments & Growing Together

Timestamps: 53:47–55:56

• Beck stresses the importance of not fixating on "red flags" or being hyper-vigilant about a partner's fidelity; trust is essential.
• He and Nicole bond over learning to "argue effectively":

  "Part of it... when we decided to get married, part of it was the long distance thing we had figured out. But it was also that I say that it's that we learned to argue effectively and not be mad at each other, but sort of find a resolution."
  — Beck Bennett [55:21]

• The episode frames partnership as mutual seeing, challenging, and willingness to adjust for each other:

  "It seems like your relationship is based a lot on, like, I hear you and I will adjust or like, I see you and I meet you there and that's nice."
  — Nicole Byer [55:30]

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6. Beck’s Advice for Single People

Timestamps: 52:05–54:43

• Advice is grounded and open-minded:

  "If you just relax and work on your stuff and just stay open as possible is the advice I would give."
  — Beck Bennett [53:47]

• He emphasizes not fixating on superficial traits or "checklists" and being open to the unexpected.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "We were just helping each other fart throughout the night... and we knew from that day we could have children together."
  — Beck Bennett [02:53]
• "I've never really dated and I was always kind of a late bloomer."
  — Beck Bennett [13:03]
• "She pays for the show and dinner and drinks... but I was paying rent in my room where we ended up staying the night."
  — Beck Bennett [02:29]
• "Love is trust."
  — Jessie, via Beck Bennett [34:03]
• "If I don't want to listen to you, that's not a reflection on you... be honest about it."
  — Nicole Byer [36:02]
• "I couldn't recommend [Sock 'Em Boppers] more."
  — Beck Bennett [22:29]
• "Part of it was that we learned to argue effectively and like, not be mad at each other, but sort of find a resolution."
  — Beck Bennett [55:21]

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Additional Highlights

• Beck’s stories about traveling in Thailand and Cuba, and the bizarre conversations with locals, add color and humor to the episode.
  [45:39–48:40]
• Mars (Nicole’s producer) pops in to ask Beck about working with Jessie as an on-screen love interest in indie films.
  [48:40–51:01]
• The infamous ending segment: Nicole reads a sexually explicit fan mail, and she and Beck riff on the absurdity:

  "I did. I said, please, Doctor, I was... I was looking forward to this part of the podcast probably the most. Sitting here while you read something sexually disgusting..."
  — Beck Bennett [59:04]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Meeting Jessie & Early Dates: 04:49–12:03
• First Date Story (Wallet Mishap): 09:03–12:03
• Intimacy Farts & Compatibility: 02:29–03:08, 11:39–12:03
• Long Distance & SNL Life: 31:26–36:14
• The Engagement Story: 37:16–41:17
• Sex & Masturbation Anecdotes: 21:36–24:29
• Advice for Singles: 52:05–54:43
• On Arguing & Relationship Work: 55:21–55:56
• Fan Mail/Outro Joke: 57:05–59:36

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Conclusion

This episode is a blend of raunchy humor, heartfelt relationship talk, and the kind of honest, awkwardly sweet exchanges that define Nicole Byer’s approach to demystifying dating. Beck Bennett offers genuine insights about late-blooming love, partnership as mutual growth, and the importance of humor, even in bed after too much cheese. Whether discussing farts on a first date or the logistics of trust, the conversation is as relatable as it is hilarious.

Recommended for listeners who love:

• Raw, explicit comedy about relationships
• Unconventional romantic stories
• Realistic insights into long-term love and partnership

Subscribe to hear more wild, messy, and meaningful conversations about dating every Friday.

Transcript

[Nicole Byer]

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode Description

[Beck Bennett]

this is a headgum podcast.

[Nicole Byer]

We talk a lot about messy dating stories on this show. But you know what's making dating even messier? Lawmakers across the country trying to strip away our access to sexual and reproductive health care. Planned Parenthood believes your body is your business and you deserve the freedom to make your own choices. Your whether you need birth control, STI testing, gender affirming care or an abortion, their health centers are there for you. But right now, politicians are actively attacking Planned Parenthood and trying to control our futures. Millions of people are at risk of losing essential care, especially those in black, Latino, rural and low income communities. Health care is a human right, which is why I'm so proud to support them. Here is a fun behind the scenes fact about the POD I pay all my guests for coming on but but when they don't want to accept the money themselves, I asked where they'd like me to donate their fee instead. And Planned Parenthood is consistently the number one organization my guests choose to support. And together with people like you, me and the guests on this podcast, Planned Parenthood can fight every day to build the future we deserve. Supporters like you power this work. Donate to Support Planned Parenthood now at Planned Parenthood

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Beck Bennett]

the show and dinner and drinks at Prada across the street from Masa afterwards. But I was paying rent in my room where we ended up staying the night.

[Nicole Byer]

Hell yeah dude.

[Beck Bennett]

Nothing. Nothing crazy happened but we did.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, you rubbed each other's bellies right to sleep. You were full.

[Beck Bennett]

How's your tummy feeling? How'd You.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, we helped digesting that lactose.

[Beck Bennett]

We were just helping each other fart throughout the night. Just like getting out tooths.

[Nicole Byer]

Getting out too.

[Beck Bennett]

Just Dutch oven in each other's farts. It was so beautiful. And we knew from that day that we could be. We could have children together.

[Nicole Byer]

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Isn't that episode of why Won't yout Date Me a podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on the floor and tell me it's an extension cord. My guest today is.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Is an actor and comedian who you know from Saturday Night Live and the latest Superman movie alongside Kyle Mooney. He co hosts the new podcast. What's our Podcast? Right here on Headgum. I'm so excited. And it's boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Beck Bennett.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yes. What an intro. Thank you. So happy to be here, Nicole.

[Nicole Byer]

Thank you for doing that.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Byer]

I told you before we started recording, one of my contacts fell out. So if you're like watching the podcast and you're like, she's going cross eyed. It's cause I can't really see.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. It's not because she's going cross eyed. That's not happening.

[Nicole Byer]

That's not it.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no.

[Nicole Byer]

And I think I have a lazy eye, so I think I'm making one of my eyes work harder.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you.

[Beck Bennett]

Wait, do you think you actually have a lazy eye?

[Nicole Byer]

Sometimes when I look at pictures, I'm like, one of these eyes is not working.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow. Every picture I've seen of you and I'm looking at you right now, you don't look cross eyed. You both, you both, you have. I think you have strong eyes, not lazy eyes.

[Nicole Byer]

Thank you.

[Beck Bennett]

Hard working eyes.

[Nicole Byer]

Hardworking eyes that really make things happen. And clock out.

[Beck Bennett]

They're working, they're full, they're full of life.

[Nicole Byer]

Hey. Thank you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Beck, you met your wife.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Doing a sketch where she played your girlfriend.

[Beck Bennett]

That is correct.

[Nicole Byer]

And then you were like, let's bring this to real life. How did. How did the relationship evolve?

[Beck Bennett]

Let's bring this to real life. It evolved. Let's see. So we were doing a sketch for the group Brightanic and we were shooting the sketch. The first scene, it was like late at night and we were like in our pajamas and I think we were kind of tired. Not interested in each other. Like frustrated that we said yes to this thing kind of. And then we shot the rest of the sketch in daylight and we had some more time together and we got to talk and hang out. And then at the time, I, I, I was, she told me that she was in town for pilot season, which was a thing.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I remember the good old days.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, just book a pilot.

[Nicole Byer]

There was lots of jobs and you went on so many auditions in person in Santa Monica.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You got paid to like do a potential job. Yeah, we were all getting paid to

[Nicole Byer]

work out ideas that was so wild where they did your deal before. So like before you test, you get like your deal done. So you're like, yeah, oh my God, I could be making this, this amount of money. And then the more you test, the more money you make. Some people's quotes were so insane and had never actually been.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. Never been on a show. And then they're like, well, we can't really pay that much. That's way too high. You don't have any actual experience. You've just gotten close so many times.

[Nicole Byer]

Knock this down a little.

[Beck Bennett]

You're like. And you're like, yeah, of course, sure, yeah, knock it down. This is just a made up. But yes. So she was in town, she was like, I'm here for a couple months and then I'm going back. And then a friend of mine was like, one of my best friends was like, hey, you know that girl Jessie from the Britannic sketches? Because she had been in a couple sketches. And I was like, yeah, yeah. I just did a sketch with her for them. And he was like, yeah, well, she's working at for it. I saw her working at forage and he started to smile and I went, I have a crush on her because I didn't know she was in town. And like, I'm just getting the information that she's got a job, she's staying here. And then I've never really done that before. I'm not the type of person to do that. And it wasn't like, wait, was your

[Nicole Byer]

friend about to say they had a crush on her?

[Beck Bennett]

I think he was, I think it

[Nicole Byer]

was speech to what I said.

[Beck Bennett]

At first. She's like, I think he was about to say, like, I think he was about to say, like, I think I'm gonna ask her out. Like she's, cause he was smiling, he was like, she's cute. And then later I asked Brian and Nick to invite her out. They invited her out. We sang karaoke, hung out in their CD hotel room. In Hollywood and ordered in Fred 62 and smoked weed. And we still have, like, videos from that night of us, like, singing songs and, like, goofing around.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so sweet.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And then. And then after that, I like, we, like, walked. I walked her to her car and did not kiss her because I was kind of, you know, it was like. It wasn't like a date. And it was just. I was like, you don't want to be, like, weird. Yeah, I don't want to be weird. I've never been overly, like, you know, aggressive, which is. Yeah. Which is good. I've always been overly aggressive, which is an asset of me.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm angry and aggressive, and I really like that way.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't read signals and I just go for it. But. But yeah. Then after that, she came to a good neighbor sketch show at UCB Franklin with another friend and saw her afterwards. We went to a bar afterwards. Like, everybody from the show Birds. We went to actually White Horse then.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. But usually birds.

[Nicole Byer]

Does White Horse exist anymore?

[Beck Bennett]

No, it doesn't. It's a different bar now. Yeah, I know. It was amazing. It was like these. These, I think, like maybe Polish Russian women making hot dogs and popcorn. It felt like a living room.

[Nicole Byer]

Nice.

[Beck Bennett]

That's so nice. It was warm. There were, like big couches everywhere and pool tables and it was. It was great. Yeah, it was a nice time. But we went there.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Then the next night, we had a house party. Our good neighbor had a. We all lived in a house together, and she came, we flirted, and then she sent me a message about what we were flirting about. And I was like, I think we should talk about this over dinner. And then we went to dinner.

[Nicole Byer]

Very smooth.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Right.

[Nicole Byer]

We should talk about this over dinner. Well, don't mind if I do.

[Beck Bennett]

And then we did.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you remember where you went to dinner? Where?

[Beck Bennett]

We went to Masa in Echo Park.

[Nicole Byer]

Ah, that. Ooh. You said lock in. It's gonna be a long dinner.

[Beck Bennett]

Let's go. We're gonna eat a bunch of cheese and. And crust and tomatoes and pepperoni. We're just going to get so full and just want to touch each other.

[Nicole Byer]

We're going to get so sleepy, then take a nap.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, we. And, you know, we. We ate a full deep dish pizza. I'm from Chicago, so I first. Actually, that's where we went to dinner. First we went to the Holly. What's the. The planetarium.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

I was in. I was into the planetarium at that time. And like, the the shows I've never been. Oh, it's really fun. They. There was, like, the one that we went to wasn. Was another one that was, like, fun. Like, it had, like, good stories and stuff. And they get these, like, Shakespeare actors to do them, and they walk in the room, and they're, like, holding an orb, and it's like, you know, they walk in like a star, a bright shining light, light years away, exploding in the distance. Like, they're just like. It's very theatrical. Dramatic. Yeah, very dramatic. And you're, like, looking at this big screen above your head, and it's. You know, it's a beautiful, iconic location up there. But we. I go to pay for the show, and I don't have my wallet,

[Nicole Byer]

And. What did you say?

[Beck Bennett]

That's the sound I made. I went, let me check my car. And then I couldn't find it in the car, and I went, let's just. Let's go watch the cool show. And then. It wasn't that good of a show. It was, like, more boring. It wasn't the more theatrical one. And then we went back to my house, which was in Echo park, right by Masa. And we go into the house, and Jesse goes in, and she, like. I think Kyle was there, and she's, like, talking to Kyle, and I'm, like, ripping apart my room. Can't find my wallet. Turns out I had gotten my car wash that day for the date, and I left it at the car wash, ended up getting it later. They had it. So. So I'm like, I can't find my wallet.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't have any money.

[Beck Bennett]

And I was like, can you pay for this? I'll get you back. So.

[Nicole Byer]

So did she pay for. She paid for the show and dinner.

[Beck Bennett]

She paid for the show and dinner and drinks at Prada across the street from Masa afterwards.

[Nicole Byer]

That's very funny to me.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But I was paying rent in my room where. Where we ended up staying the night.

[Nicole Byer]

Hell, yeah, dude.

[Beck Bennett]

Nothing. Nothing crazy happened, but we did.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. You rubbed each other's bellies to sleep. You were full.

[Beck Bennett]

How's your tummy feeling? How. Yeah, we.

[Nicole Byer]

We help digesting that lactose.

[Beck Bennett]

We're just helping each other fart throughout the night. Just like, getting out toots.

[Nicole Byer]

Getting out toots.

[Beck Bennett]

Just Dutch oven in each other's farts. It was so beautiful. And we knew from that day that we could be. We could have children together.

[Nicole Byer]

How long ago was this?

[Beck Bennett]

I think it was about 14 years ago.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe even more, because, you know, I'M like, oh, was that the last time? Is Maybe, is it 15 years now? I forget. I think it was 2000. Wait, no, maybe 16 years. I think 16 years. Yeah, I think 2010. Maybe it was 2011 that. No, 2011, okay. Yeah, 15 years.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you celebrate your anniversary on the day you met? Or is there like a, a day where you're like, be my girlfriend, be my woman?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that was, that was a couple. Well, I don't actually remember. I don't know if we have that day because I think we knew pretty much right away. But also like, I was at a time where I had just dated for the first time in my life for like three years. And it was really the first time I was dating and dating confidently and then.

[Nicole Byer]

So were you in like a long term relationship or were you just not dating?

[Beck Bennett]

Like, oh, before that? I was in relationships, but I was also like, too awkward about, like, I didn't know how.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, there were moments when like, I was just like. I think it was like in college I had a girlfriend and then I had a long distance relationship my senior year. And then that carried into a year and a half after graduating. And I just like, I didn't know how to date. Like, I'd never really dated and I was always kind of a late bloomer. And I guess I met Jesse when I was about like 26, 27. So, yeah, it was a couple years of dating, but at that time I was like, okay, like, don't follow up the next day. You know, it was kind of like the weird rules. The weird rules. What's the movie with? Like, it's like Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, not Swingers. You know, you gotta wait. How many days till you wait until they call you. You've never seen it?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God, there's so many movies I've never seen.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, it's wild that I'm like, I wanna be an actor, but I don't know what a movie is.

[Beck Bennett]

Is it something like this? Is this acting?

[Nicole Byer]

Is this acting?

[Beck Bennett]

That is good acting.

[Nicole Byer]

I once had a teacher tell me that I. My face moved too much for television.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow. I've had a teacher tell me. We can tell how much you love acting by how much you're doing. Like. And I do think that is true. I mean, that's like, in comedy you can be like, just go nuts and like, really be physical. But then when you see like a real. And like, I've had to do more of this and like any sort of like film, television, dramatic acting, Is like an exercise in restraint.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. Like, yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Don't do anything.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's just so. And also, like, they'll talk, and they'll be like this. I love you so much. I once had a. I can't hear you.

[Nicole Byer]

Like a lovely actor who is a dramatic actor, but we were doing comedy, and I was doing what I. I thought I was hitting the jokes.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And they were like, hey, it's just the two of us. Let's just talk. And I was like, okay, you're making me uncomfortable.

[Beck Bennett]

I felt so weird.

[Nicole Byer]

And I was like, yeah, I have your files. Like, I was like, I don't.

[Beck Bennett]

This is not how I talk to people.

[Nicole Byer]

There's jokes. Do you not want me to hit the jokes?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole Byer]

And then we did, like, another take where he's like. He ended up directing the scene and

[Beck Bennett]

was like, oh, wow.

[Nicole Byer]

And I want you to, like, go up on that line. But also, just remember, we're like. We're just here talking. And I was like, I'm gonna walk into traffic.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I'm gonna walk right into. What is this? So he ended up directing. He wasn't the director.

[Nicole Byer]

He was not the director, but he ended up directing me. And then I did another job where.

[Beck Bennett]

That's fun.

[Nicole Byer]

We did a take, and the director went, hey, can you do that again? But, like, be normal. And I was like, yes. Got it.

[Beck Bennett]

Got it.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, Got it.

[Beck Bennett]

I know that you might be frustrated as the director and you want to get your result quicker, but that is the last way to do it.

[Nicole Byer]

That is going to feel crazy.

[Beck Bennett]

That's going to make. Make me die inside and make me angry.

[Nicole Byer]

Even weirder.

[Beck Bennett]

Even weirder. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But then you watch things where, okay, I just watched Send Help. Have you seen that?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, no, but I want to so bad. I was trying to see it in theaters, and I just, like, couldn't get around to it. And I thought about seeing it today. I was like, I want to see Send Help.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think it's in theaters.

[Beck Bennett]

Nobody. But you can get it. I can get it, like, at home. It's, like, available.

[Nicole Byer]

I watched it.

[Beck Bennett]

It's available at my house now. Can I watch it on my.

[Nicole Byer]

I can watch it right at my house.

[Beck Bennett]

Is it available in my house?

[Nicole Byer]

I got a thing called a living room, and there's a couch.

[Beck Bennett]

This is available tv. I can't.

[Nicole Byer]

But I watched it at home. I thought it deserved to be on a big screen. And I was like, whatever. I missed it.

[Beck Bennett]

You want to feel that with other People and like, to hear the reaction.

[Nicole Byer]

But Rachel McAdams is having such a fun time.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And you, like, watch her have a fun time. And I'm like, this is acting.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. This is fun. Like, horror genre acting. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I love it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay. Beck.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. Nicole, if that's really your name. Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, this isn't your real name?

[Beck Bennett]

Well, it's my middle name. Yeah. Christopher Beck Bennet is my full name.

[Nicole Byer]

It's such a good name.

[Beck Bennett]

Thank you.

[Nicole Byer]

Have you always gone by Beck, or was it a. Like a. A thing where you're like, no, I need, like, a cool name.

[Beck Bennett]

A cool name. Lucy. And like. No, I just. Ever since I was one. Like, they tried calling me Christopher, and then they were like, my. Beck is my mom's maiden name. And they were like, I was very physical, and my mom's side is like, they're, like, athletes and whatever. So, like, they were like, he's all back. He's all back. And then it's just, like, easier to say. And then they just started calling me back. There were, like, a couple little home videos where they're like, christopher, Christopher. You're just like. I'm like, no, who's that? I will not respond to Christopher. But yeah, yeah, real name, Christopher Beck Bennett. Kyle Mooney is probably the only person who calls me Christopher sometimes.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, really?

[Beck Bennett]

And a lot of people go, like. Especially, like. Like in college and stuff. Like, if a. I feel like it's. It's like, typically, if a girl found out my name was Christopher, they'd be like, I'm gonna call you Christopher. And, like. And they never would. And then Kyle. Kyle's the only one who's followed through with it.

[Nicole Byer]

But does he do it as a bit, or is it. He's known you so long.

[Beck Bennett]

It's. I think it's just. He's known me so long. I think it's just like. I feel like it's something about. I don't know, it's like. He'll be like, christopher. Like, it's almost like sort of like sibling ish. Like, parental ish.

[Nicole Byer]

I have a friend who's a drag queen, and when they're out of drag, I use their boy name. And anytime I use their boy name, like, in front of other people, they're like, who? And I'm like, ah, I don't know. For me, it's just like. It's nice to have a distinction between, like, this person who performs and then

[Beck Bennett]

this person who's my friend. Yeah, totally. Totally.

[Nicole Byer]

Christopher.

[Beck Bennett]

You gotta get into it with Kyle. See what that. See where that's coming from?

[Nicole Byer]

Hmm. Yeah. I wonder if he's trying to make a distinction between his. His business partner and then his friend.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, his. His, like, performing the person he performs with and the person he, like, trying to relate to on, like, a different way. I don't know. Maybe he, like. Maybe he wants to date me or something. Maybe he's, like, in love with me. I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe Kyle loves you and is jealous of Jesse and wants to usurp her and become your wife.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, I would say that, except I know his wife, and she is amazing. Love you. K. I can't agree with that. But everybody loves Jesse. My wife, too. So I'm not saying that he doesn't love her. I love Kate. I don't know what to do.

[Nicole Byer]

Can I ask, before you met Jesse, do you remember any, like, dates that stood out as, like, this lady's. This is tough.

[Beck Bennett]

Ooh. Yeah. I mean, I remember one double date that really just. It ended. I just was, like, I was not interested. I mean, it's been a while since I've had to, like, think about specific dates, but I remember that ended with her trying to, like, I think, crack my knuckles in her car and, like, be like, I can crack knuckles, and it, like, really hurt. And I was like, oh, all right. All right. So nice meeting you. And I, like, got out of the car and kind of kind of booked it a little bit.

[Nicole Byer]

It's really funny. I can crack knuckles.

[Beck Bennett]

Really? I can crack knuckles. This will. This will do it. This is gonna make it all work. Oh, I'm good. All right.

[Nicole Byer]

After you got snl, did women throw themselves at you?

[Beck Bennett]

You know, I don't know. I don't. I. I don't think so.

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, I was also so out of my mind during that time. Like, so, like, fear brain, trying to survive. Just scared. I think that it was hard to really, like, Jesse would even be, like. We'd be talking, and she'd be like, where are you? Like, I do not. You're not present with me at all. So. Yeah, as far as I know. No. But it was probably. Might have been that time. Who knows? It might have been, like, a little bit like, high school where girls were like, hey. And I was like, you're like, hey. Hey, what's up?

[Nicole Byer]

Got to go to my house.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I just got. I'm trying to figure out how to fit in and, like. Yeah. Pass my classes and whatever. I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

I really like that Jesse calls You out on, like, being like, you're not present right now?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. All the time. It's great.

[Nicole Byer]

That's nice. I like relationships where, like, each. Each other. The two people are, like, challenging one another.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we have. We have so much fun, but. Yeah. It's like. Yeah. We make each other better. It's great.

[Nicole Byer]

Can I ask you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

So my assistant does research, and she found that you used sock emboppers.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

To jerk off.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, that is correct. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. Now it's out there.

[Nicole Byer]

Thank you so much for mentioning that. Thank you so much.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow.

[Beck Bennett]

Appreciate that.

[Nicole Byer]

Where did the idea come from? Are you like, I think my dick will fit in there?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You know, I just saw it and I was like, that's gonna be perfect. I think it was. I think it was my brother's provocative magazines, and there was an ad for a sex doll. Oh. And I was like, that looks like that.

[Nicole Byer]

Interesting.

[Beck Bennett]

And then so I went to town on my sock and boppers. And it was pretty incredible. It was fantastic. It was a wild, wild time.

[Nicole Byer]

That's.

[Beck Bennett]

I couldn't recommend it more.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I couldn't recommend it more.

[Beck Bennett]

I couldn't recommend it more.

[Nicole Byer]

Hey, if you're out there.

[Beck Bennett]

If you're out there, Sock embop.

[Nicole Byer]

A sock embapper.

[Beck Bennett]

Sock embopper. Wait, I call them sock and boppers. Sock. Maybe they're soccer.

[Mars]

No, they're soccer boppers, but I totally call them sock and boppers.

[Nicole Byer]

Sock and boppers.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. They're. You know, it's so much safer than a hot pie. I've heard of people warming up watermelons as well. And themselves. Yeah, yeah. Just go get a soccer. Soccer bopper.

[Nicole Byer]

And the creativity of the human brain.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, I want to meet the first person who's like, I'm going to put this watermelon in the microwave. Then I'm a fuck it.

[Beck Bennett]

No more. Fudge it. Yeah, there was. There is.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm going to tell somebody about it. This is crazy.

[Beck Bennett]

Do girls. Girls don't really do that. I mean.

[Nicole Byer]

No. I feel like they'll, like, rub themselves on the couch or use a stuffed animal.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Nicole Byer]

But I truly have not heard of. Well, no, the. I went and bought a vibrator from. Or stole a vibrator from Spencer's.

[Beck Bennett]

Really Stole it White. Because you didn't want to be. Were you too young to be in there?

[Nicole Byer]

No, I just didn't want to pay for it.

[Beck Bennett]

You still want to pay for it?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. That's why you steal?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, of course. No, see, the money spends my money,

[Nicole Byer]

but I want it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And you. And how old were you when you got your first?

[Nicole Byer]

I was. I was not in high school. I think I was in middle school, so. What is that, like, 13, 12?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But speaking of. Speaking of finding things to jerk off with, I also did find. I think my first. My. I think the first time I found masturbation was from a. You know those pens that, like, squiggle? They kind of like. It was like. At least we had them. Like, when I was a kid, you would. They, like. This one had, like, a little weight at the top that spun around, and so it, like, vibrated. And it was a pen that vibrated. So when you wrote, it was, like, squiggly. And I. I put. I put that down there, and I was like, oh, that feels great. And so I kind of. Kind of masturbated for the first time with a vibrator.

[Nicole Byer]

You know what? I like that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That's exploration.

[Beck Bennett]

It really is.

[Nicole Byer]

Have you watched the show Neighbors on hbo?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, I've seen the whole thing. It's incredible.

[Nicole Byer]

That, man at the end.

[Beck Bennett]

I know. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a TV show about people who have problems with their neighbors.

[Beck Bennett]

And I would even say, like, it's usually, like, two problematic neighbors together. And it's like, you think one is crazy, and then you learn the other one is crazy, and then the other one is.

[Nicole Byer]

You learn the other one's even crazier.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And they do a really good job of burying the lead and kind of like.

[Nicole Byer]

But the last episode is a man who just wants to be naked. It's all that he wants. And at one point, he has a. Like, a massage gun, and then he puts it on his dick, and he goes, ooh, ah, ooh. You gotta go. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, he's on it.

[Nicole Byer]

Dude, I would just love to be so free with, like, the things I want to do that, like.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

If I started masturbating in front of a camera crew, I'm gonna finish.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. You gotta go. You gotta go. You gotta go right now. I can't stop.

[Nicole Byer]

It's so wild.

[Beck Bennett]

It is incredible. Yeah. Now, apparently, his only fans is blown up.

[Nicole Byer]

That's what he says. But.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, really?

[Nicole Byer]

I did look at it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And a lot of it's like, hey, if you want to give me money, can I have money? And I don't know if he'd be asking for money if it was, like, really high.

[Beck Bennett]

It was really. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

You know really popping, really going on. A lot of cum shots.

[Beck Bennett]

Really? Oh, my God. Wait, I see.

[Nicole Byer]

I just like come dribbling out of his dick.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, I'll show you. Oh, my God. Okay. Thank you so much. And that's work. That's not.

[Nicole Byer]

That's work. We're working.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. This is.

[Nicole Byer]

It's not voyeurism.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no, no research. Absolutely. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, here's the thing. If you have an only fans, I will look at it.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. I don't have one yet.

[Nicole Byer]

Anybody?

[Beck Bennett]

Anybody is there? Like when I. With our page, our podcast, we got a Patreon, people were like, well, do you ever think about getting an only fans? I'm like, do you think that. That. You know what I mean?

[Nicole Byer]

That's really funny. Well, you have a Patreon. That's one paywall. What if you just show us some toes on the. On the OnlyFans? Show us.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You could start with comedy podcasts on OnlyFans and then start working in some toes. You know what I mean? Who knows? I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, is only fans like just. Or is it like other kinds of content besides I've.

[Nicole Byer]

They at one point were doing comedy. Wow.

[Beck Bennett]

But I started only fans. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I tell a joke a day.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I just started ucb. I did ground things. I did. I did only fans.

[Mars]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Funny stuff with my balls. It was like really cool. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I do think it is mostly sex stuff.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But I think there is like benign stuff where it's just like women walking around that might be sex on the other end. Like, I love legs.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. I like to be like, not see everything and just kind of.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

See a lady walking in different kinds of pants. Sure.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. Some people like, like pants. Wait, Beck, real quick. We gotta take a break.

[Beck Bennett]

Take a break. Foreign.

[Nicole Byer]

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[Beck Bennett]

Yes. That was quick.

[Nicole Byer]

It was so quick. How long did you and Jesse date before getting married?

[Beck Bennett]

We dated about eight years. We were long distance for a while. We.

[Nicole Byer]

Because you were in New York doing snl. She was here?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Yeah, she was. She, like, we tried. She tried to make New York like her home base, but it was before people were doing Zoom auditions and she was auditioning a lot and like, it was like all TV and those casting directors were in la and that's so. So she was like, I'm gonna be in la. So we got. We ended up getting a house in Echo park and we were doing long distance for a while. And that was hard. Especially with like SNL when it's like all consuming and, you know, and you're

[Nicole Byer]

shooting shit like till like late at night and then you're up early and.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

The hours are insane.

[Beck Bennett]

They're insane. They're absolutely insane.

[Nicole Byer]

I mean, you think about it, it's like, for comedy.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

This could be a nicer schedule.

[Beck Bennett]

It could be a nicer schedule. I know. It's just like you feel so bad and it's like, well, I just want to feel good, so I need to laugh.

[Nicole Byer]

Y.

[Beck Bennett]

The only way out of this is laughing. And so it's like, I feel like it creates this thing where you fight as hard as possible to be funny. I don't know, maybe that's just a way of rationalizing the pain. But yeah, so it was difficult for a while and then once we kind of figured it out, we were like, oh, we can do this.

[Nicole Byer]

And then how long were you long distance? Because how long were you on the show? Five.

[Beck Bennett]

I was on the show for eight years. No, but that's five.

[Nicole Byer]

Two, one.

[Beck Bennett]

Sorry, I was. No, I was a featured player for two. So, yeah, repertory player for six. You were basically right. But that is like, kind of what happens. People think like, people kind of the first two years kind of go away. Most people think it was like five for me. Five or six. But. But yeah, I did the show for eight years and really just long distance for six.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Got married after year five, though, for me. So it was like three years of real long distance. Because after we got married, that was like, we were like, we're good. We're gonna have a child. Because that's kind of what it meant. It's like, we believe that they were

[Nicole Byer]

like, we want to have a kid, so we're just gonna. We're gonna do it. We're gonna get married. We're gonna make it all official.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, exactly.

[Nicole Byer]

But six years a long distance, That's a really fucking long time. What is the thing that you felt like, really made it work? Like, what's the thing that was like, ah, that's nice that she does that? Or it's. Or Jesse was like, that's nicely. Beck does this.

[Beck Bennett]

Interesting. I mean, I. I don't even know if it was like, you know, we would talk, but I think it was almost like at some point, it was like, the not forcing a conversation at the end of the day, you know, like, when we're tired and, like, if she's like, she doesn't want to talk or she doesn't want to hear about my bad day, that's okay. That doesn't mean she's not, like, connected to me and cares about me and loves me. Like, at the end of the day, it's like, you know, we can just kind of, like, do our own thing and say, hey, how are you? I love you. And then, like, we'll see each other in two weeks. That was. We also got to see each other every. We probably never went more than three weeks without spending, like, another week or two or three together, because the schedule allowed for that. But I think at the end of the day, like, the other thing that really made it work was trust. And, like, it's. It took me a little while to get there because I would be. Because she'd be, like, shooting stuff and on location and, like, you know, it's like camp. And she'd be coming best friends with people, and I'd be like, who are these new. Who's this guy who. Just this new guy who's this new guy who just broke up with his girlfriend halfway into shooting with you when you got like, you know, and it would just drive me a little bit nuts. But. But at some point, like, she was like, you know, she'd be like, do you love me? And I would say yes, and she'd be like, well, love is trust. And, like, you can just, like, it kind of Clicked for me. It was like, oh, yeah, like I just chill out. I don't need to be trying to see like the vulnerabilities where I'm gonna be hurt. You know what I mean? Like, like being like, what is this relationship? What is that? And then so I just kind of was like, oh, yeah, I can just trust you. And that's kind of what made it all easier.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that a lot because it's like, that is what love is. Love is trust. But I also really like the. At the end of the day, if I don't want to listen to you, that's not a reflection on you. Yeah, it's not even a reflection on me. It's like I just don't have the capacity. And it's like, be honest about it.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Nicole Byer]

And that feels much better than like the. Huh, okay, sure. Yeah, whatever.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Because that's gonna be draining for her. And you know, I think for a while it was like, oh, if you love me, you're gonna want to hear. You're gonna want to be there for everything that I wanna hear, everything on my mind. Even if it's basically the same three things over and over again and I can't tell the difference. And I think it's all a unique problem, you know? So, yeah, yeah, it was like, great. Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

I was really hungover on Saturday and me and the nice man in my life, I did something that he didn't like. So he was trying to talk to me about it and I was like, uh huh, okay. And then I was like, I gotta go lay down. He was like, okay. And then after like 20 minutes, I was like, oh, I should tell him I'm hungover. And that's why I can't have this conversation.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Nicole Byer]

So I finally was like, hey, sorry I didn't add anything to what you were saying earlier. I'm really hungover. And he was like, oh, I thought you were mad at me. And I was like, no, I just can't talk to you right now.

[Beck Bennett]

My body's mad at me and I'm mad at my body. There's something happening that you can't see.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. And it's like you just gotta say, what's up?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And I like that.

[Beck Bennett]

It's really important. Yeah, it really is.

[Nicole Byer]

How did you propose?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, God. Wow. I don't think anybody's asked me about that. It's kind of a funny. It was a little. It wasn't a, uh, let's see. Okay. So we were long distance.

[Nicole Byer]

You don't have to tell if you don't listen to.

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, no, no. It's. It's. I think there's something there.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

We were long distance, and Jesse was like, what is this thing where I have to wait and, like, be surprised? Like, it's all in the man's. It's. What's this, like, tradition where, you know, the man gets to be like, I'm ready.

[Nicole Byer]

Boom.

[Beck Bennett]

And she's like, oh, Oh, I. And now and then you have to be like, oh, my God, thank you so much for bestowing this honor on me. And we were like, the long distance thing and being like, choosing to get married is our decision, like, that we are ready as a couple to start a family and all this. And it's like, why can't we do all this together? And I was. We were long distance, and I was coming in town, and it was like. It was kind of like, if we're gonna get engaged, it's gonna be, like, now or Christmas or spring. Like, it's. Cause if we're not gonna be together. She was busy, I was busy. And we decided to go shopping for a ring together. I think we had been going shopping, and then she found one she liked. She was like, I think that's it. And I just decided to buy it. And we woke up the next day. We were going to Joshua Tree to go camping, and I had the ring, and I, like. She woke up and was like, good morning. Good morning. Hey, good morning. And I was like. I pulled the ring in. Hey, my little another. And had a beautiful day with my baby. You know, the thing that comes. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

The thing that you do every morning.

[Beck Bennett]

And I was like, yeah, great. Like, you know, whatever it was. And then I pulled out the ring, and I was like. I said something like, can we get married now? Or something. And I was, like, holding the ring, and she was like. And she didn't see it. And she was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, here. Just. Oh, my God. I'm like, yes. And it was like we had already agreed to do it. And, like, she was like, oh, thank you. I love you. And it was sweet. And then, like, we, like. But then I thought it would be nice to, like, then have this camping trip that we were going to. Cause we had been to Joshua Tree together before and loved it.

[Nicole Byer]

And.

[Beck Bennett]

But then we had to go into logistics mode right after I proposed together, sort of. And so then we had to pack up and go to Joshua Tree, and we went. And there were no campsites available. And so they were like, you can go into the overflow area, which is technically right outside the park along one of the freeways going through the desert. And there's, like, no official campsites, and there's no, like, rocks to protect you from the wind. And there were all these.

[Nicole Byer]

And there's just cars passing.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, there was. I mean, like, not too close, but, like, you know, you can see the road going through this, like, open desert. But they were like. We had our dog and there were birds everywhere and he couldn't, like, walk. And we ended up camping, and it was so windy that the tent was just, like, blowing into our faces. And at one point, at, like, 2 in the morning, we were like, all right, we're done. We're going. And we drove to a Day's Inn, and the only room they had available was a room with two twin beds. So we slept separately. And then just got up and went home.

[Nicole Byer]

And we were like, that's so funny.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You know, bad engagement, getting married.

[Nicole Byer]

This is so exciting. Ugh.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It was just like, okay, all right. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But I do love that the two of you together were like, we've had enough of this.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Let's just get out of here, pack it up, go home.

[Nicole Byer]

But also, I never thought of engagements like that. It truly is a man being like, all right, I guess it's time. I'm ready to be married. And then the woman just doesn't know when it's supposed to happen.

[Beck Bennett]

It doesn't really. It doesn't make any sense.

[Nicole Byer]

It's kind of wild.

[Beck Bennett]

It's wild. Yeah. And it's also like. Well, typically, I mean, that's. I mean, with me, I was like. I was dragging. I was dragging my feet a little bit. I was just like, well, I don't know, like, later, like, let's just wait. Because I was also. I was. I think I was scared of having a child and, like, changing my life like that.

[Nicole Byer]

So you should be scared.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, absolutely. Everybody should be scared.

[Nicole Byer]

People should be scared.

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Byer]

You gotta, like, of course, having a kid's a nice treat, but, like, you gotta. You gotta do shit.

[Beck Bennett]

You gotta raise it so much. I like, I love my son. I love being a parent. Best thing that's ever happened to me. I would never look at somebody and go, you have to do it right. Parents do that. They'll be like, oh, you have to.

[Nicole Byer]

And I think that's wild.

[Beck Bennett]

It's crazy to tell somebody to have a child.

[Nicole Byer]

And I've said to people, I'm like, oh, I'm too selfish. And they're like, no, once you have a kid, you become selfless. And I'm like, yeah, but what if I don't? And then. Then this poor child has to suffer because I had them. But I'm just incredibly.

[Beck Bennett]

No, I mean, and I get that. I get that idea of, like, you'll become more selfless. Cause it is just like, oh, yeah, I'll do anything for this thing. But if you don't, if you are ori, like, self oriented to the point where that's not even a possibility for you, then maybe. Then maybe you shouldn't. Like, it's.

[Nicole Byer]

It's really the thought of, like, buying clothes for somebody that's not me makes

[Beck Bennett]

me upset every three months. Cause they're growing so much.

[Nicole Byer]

Because they grow so much. Yeah, like, put them. Put them in rags.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But then people will be like, that's child abuse. Wait, Beck, we gotta take another break.

[Beck Bennett]

Let's do it.

[Nicole Byer]

Recently, I took a little getaway to Joshua Tree with two of my besties and Clyde. And let me tell you. Oh, what a treat it was. What a dream it was. Now, we love a hotel for traveling, but for a trip like this with friends, hotels just don't give us the space we need. I love my friends, but a bathroom for one is not great when three women are trying to do our skincare routine all at the same time. Okay, so we decided to book a stay on Airbnb, and it just makes it for a way better trip. You could find the coolest, most unique spots to stay in. We found a home on Airbnb that had an actual vintage Airstream in the back backyard just for lounging, plus this gorgeous outdoor soaking tub. I was looking online and you can literally find houses shaped like UFOs or ones with giant telescopes in the living room for stargazing. We had so much fun cooking a big group dinner together. Then we lounged around LAUGHING until like, 2:00am which you literally cannot do when you're all split up into separate hotel rooms. Next time you're planning a getaway with your friends, do yourself a favor and book a stay on Airbnb. D and B. Getting dressed used to take me forever because I could never find the perfect balance between an outfit that looked really cute and was actually comfortable. I love fabrics that feel expensive but actually let me breathe. Quince fixed all of that for me because all the clothes they make are flattering but feel luxurious. Quince makes it incredibly easy to refresh your everyday wardrobe for spring with pieces that feel as Good as they look, they use all these amazing premium materials like a hundred percent European linen, organic cotton and ultra soft denim. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops started just $30. They are so breathable, effortless and easy to wear on repeat. The best part is everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you're paying for quality and craftsmanship and not brand markup. I bought the nice man in my life. These really cute short sleeve button downs with like a little polo collar. It's olive green. The other one is this creamy color and he looks so sophisticated and handsome. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com date me for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com date me for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com date me. What's one of the most fun vacations you've ever been on?

[Beck Bennett]

Going to Thailand with our friends Alex and Anna. We went to Bangkok for a couple days and we went to the where was Chiang Mai and stayed in like an eco resort and like a tree house type thing.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that's fun.

[Beck Bennett]

Like yeah. Hung out with some elephants in a pond and cooked food and then we went to Rayavati beach and like the, just the food was so I want

[Nicole Byer]

to go and I want to eat food. I love traveling to eat.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Walking around and getting foot massage. There are foot massages everywhere. So like you just like walk and eat and get like a little 30 minute foot massage and feel amazing.

[Nicole Byer]

That's nice.

[Beck Bennett]

And yeah, yeah, that was one of the best. Cuba was also pretty really amazing. We went with our friends Will and Nikki and that was, it was right when it was like opened up to tourism. It was, it was pretty, it was really the fun, the food was amazing and it was fun to go out. But it was also like you could really feel the history of the country itself and the relationship with the US Just based on things that people said to us.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh really?

[Beck Bennett]

Like this one woman. We were like sitting at like this old hotel and oddly one of the Fast and Furious movies was shooting there as well. And we were like, there was like this helicopter going back and forth and she kind of was like, like we're sitting there and she's like, are you having fun? We're like yeah, this is great. She's like, yeah, When I was a child, my mother and father were executed, and I went to the United States, like, with. With a relative of hers, and. And this is my first time back. And we were like, cool. Wow. This is wild. That's fascinating. Is Vin down there or like. I think that's Vin Diesel's head. That's cool. Yeah. Well, everything's good now. You know, there were, like, little comments, kind of, like, wild. Yeah, yeah. Just.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God. I took my grandpa to Barbados, where he's from, for the last time, because he's, like, 97 now or 98. And there was a lady at the gate who was like, like, so you guys are going Barbados? And we were like, yes. And she was like, oh, are you excited? And my grandpa was like, I'm. Well, I'm from Barbados. And she's like, why'd you leave? And then my grandpa was like, well, I was working in a sugar cane field, and I wanted more opportunity. I was like, oh, this is funny. You're explaining poverty to this woman.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. There's, like, a lot of reasons. What are you talking. You think it's like. You think you just, like, when you live there, you're on vacation.

[Nicole Byer]

But I'm dying. This lady. My parents were executed.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That's a wild thing to say.

[Beck Bennett]

It's a wild thing. And she did it in that sort of way. She's like, you having fun? Like, kind of like a villain out of a movie. Like, you know, like the rich villain who, like, you. I don't know, you find yourself, like, hand side behind your back, and she walks out of, like, these curtains and, like, smoking a cigarette or something.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so funny.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. But it was a fun trip.

[Nicole Byer]

Ooh.

[Mars]

I have a question for Beck, if that's okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah. Mars. Sure.

[Mars]

A fun fact for listeners. Beck actually starred in a short film called how to Lose Weight in four Easy, where he played my boyfriend, Aaron Blair. That's just a fun fact. But my question is.

[Beck Bennett]

Aaron's your boyfriend?

[Mars]

Yeah, Aaron's my boyfriend.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow. Cool.

[Mars]

And you star alongside Jesse, who played your love interest in the short film. And so I want to know what it's like working with your girlfriend at the time and actually being, like, in a love interest together.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a good question.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a good question. I've never been asked that. That was. That was nice. It was really nice and easy because our scenes, there was no dialogue, and, I mean, we would talk and improvise what was sort of happening, but there was voiceover for a lot of it. And we could kind of just make it whatever we wanted it to be as opposed to maybe trying to put our relationship into specific lines in a specific relationship. So it was kind of like we could just look at each other and laugh and like feel those moments of like, you know, seeing somebody and being like, I like them. So I've done. We did another short film where we were a couple and it was like kind of an argument and it was, it just was, it wasn't the same. I mean maybe it's cause the dialogue wasn't there or something, but like, but with that we were able to sort

[Mars]

of just like your chemistry was so cute.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, thank you. I love that. I luckily I feel like even if it was cute and adorable, typically I would look back on that and be like, oh, that's like us. That's like cringy. But when I do watch it, I'm like, oh, that's really sweet.

[Mars]

Yeah, there's like a moment where. Cause you guys are working at a gym together where Jesse raises her arm and you sniff her armpit a bit.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh yeah.

[Mars]

I guess tell if she's stinky or not. And that feels like that wouldn't happen unless you guys were already in a relationship. To me, I wonder if that kind of of was like your idea or.

[Beck Bennett]

I, I, you know, I honestly don't even, I don't even remember. But yeah, I little things like that.

[Mars]

I loved it.

[Beck Bennett]

Thank you. I love that short so much. I mean it's a. I, I probably get more comments about that than, than most things. Cuz people will come up to me like often at the gym and be like, that changed my life.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh wow.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh really? I love that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it's really sweet.

[Nicole Byer]

And I respond to people when they're like like, you changed my life.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm like, you're welcome. Join my patreon. No, I'm just like, oh my God. I mean that is, you know, sometimes you get people. It's great. It's so refreshing when somebody's like, thank you. I want to tell you thank you. As opposed to like you're that guy from that thing. Oh, I used to, you know what, like some, some vague understanding of who I am or like, so when somebody comes up and is like this thing you did really affected me. It just is really sweet.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I like it. I like when people say things like that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Like oh, I made something part of something that like really meant something to people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I. Sometimes people will tell Me how much I mean to them, and then they'll cite the thing that changed their life and I have to just nod because sometimes I wasn't in it.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah, yeah, Totally. I'm so glad you said that. Great. Yeah. Fantastic. Fantastic. Love it.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you have advice for people who are single?

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, the advice might be something that you get a lot, which I think is. It feels so also so weird to be giving advice to single people now when things are so different than they used to be. And I've been out of the game for so long. But like I said, when I met my wife, I had been dating for about three years and was like. Was enjoying and was like, oh, like, I can just ask people out and go on a date and, you know, have fun. And it was. It, like, worked. After being so scared of it, and then towards the end of it, I was like, I think I'm ready to meet somebody. I'm ready to fall. I'm ready to fall in love. And then, like, a month or two later, it kind of happened. And I think, like, when I see. When I see people who are frustrated, my friends or, you know, peers or whatever that are still frustrated and not able to find somebody, I do kind of go, like. I feel like you're focusing too much on the other person and what you want and what you're not getting, as opposed to just, like, kind of working on yourself and just like, being open to things that you might not think that you want. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like if I hear a girl being like, well, he's not tall enough, it's like. Or like a guy, you know, hung up on a physical thing as well, or being like. You know, people have these ideas of what they want, and some of them may be accurate, but I really think that, like, if you just relax and work on your stuff and just stay open as possible is the advice I would give.

[Nicole Byer]

I think that's good advice. I like that. Don't get stuck on things. Just be open.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Don't be like, I'm looking for this and that's what will make me happy. Because chances are you don't know yourself that well and you don't know what you need. What's really gonna make you go, oh, wow. I wanna, like, Like. Like Jesse. Like, she was like. We got in arguments more than I thought was healthy, but it was some. She was somebody who was challenging me and was exciting to be with and made me a better person. Whereas, like, I think somebody who maybe would be More like, I don't know, just. I didn't want somebody that I was just gonna be like, yeah, you're funny and you're right. Like, that's boring to me, you know? But I think maybe initially I wanted like something that was just copacetic, but it's like, no, that's not what I need and that's not what I fell in love with. So anyway, yeah, just being open.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that. It is interesting arguments sometimes, because sometimes with the nice man in my life, I'm just like, oh, boy, that fight. And he was like, that wasn't a fight we had. Like, we just disagree, disagreed on something and then talked it through.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that's like, oh, yes. I. That's kind of what Jesse would say. She'd be like, we're just talking. And also like, I think we did it. Part of it, when we decided to get married, part of it was the long distance thing we had figured out. But it was also that I say that it's that we learned to argue effectively and like, not be mad at each other, but sort of find a resolution. And like, it's not that we don't fight.

[Nicole Byer]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

It's just that we can go, like, we can listen to the other person and make little changes moving forward. So, yeah. Yeah, I like arguing effectively.

[Nicole Byer]

It seems like your relationship is based a lot on, like, I hear you and I will adjust or like, I see you and I meet you there and that's nice.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah, I. I think it is. We really. We really are. It used to be kind of more of a one way street. Like, I needed to be open to what she had to say, and she only had things to say to me. And I think that, like, now I can.

[Nicole Byer]

Can.

[Beck Bennett]

We're at a place where we can reflect those things to each other a little bit more.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that. That's really fucking sweet.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Nicole Byer]

And you talk about her so lovingly. And that's. I love love.

[Beck Bennett]

I love love too. I love her.

[Nicole Byer]

It's so nice. Beck, can I ask you a question?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, you can. Absolutely.

[Nicole Byer]

Would you date me?

[Beck Bennett]

Absolutely. I would love to date you. Let's go.

[Nicole Byer]

Let's go.

[Beck Bennett]

Let's go out. Let's go to the planetarium. And then Masa and I'll forget my. My wallet, but it'll be perfect. We'll just.

[Nicole Byer]

And I just won't have any money. And we'll have to shoot everybody.

[Beck Bennett]

Great. That'll be fun. That'll be really fun.

[Nicole Byer]

Beck, thank you so much for being Here. This was absolutely delightful.

[Beck Bennett]

Good. I had a blast. Thank you so much for having me.

[Nicole Byer]

Can I ask you another question?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

What do you have?

[Beck Bennett]

To promote my podcast with Kyle Mooney here on Headgum. What's our podcast? Where we don't know what our podcast is about and we have guests on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about and then we try, but it's mainly a conversation with them. But they come and pitch us an idea and then we try a little, little version of it and mess around.

[Nicole Byer]

Have you ever done like the. Wait, how am I. I'm not phrasing this right.

[Beck Bennett]

No, I do that all the. That's like, usually that is me in. In the podcast I'll be like, so I don't know what the question is, but here I go. I'm gathering the words.

[Nicole Byer]

I can't believe how hard that broke down and how I just really gave up. I mean, have you ever had an idea where someone came in and then you were like, like, no, not yet.

[Beck Bennett]

But some people have come in with options and we've chosen one. But no, and I honestly, like, there are some that I don't. They pitch and I'm like, I'm not. I don't know what to do with this. But we came up with this idea and we put ourselves in this position and we can't say like, no. Like, we just have to go along with whatever these people bring in and support it as much as possible.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, listen to that podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

Thank you.

[Nicole Byer]

And if you like this episode of why won't you date me? I gotta close an eye. You can like it, you can follow it, you can rate it 5 stars on Spotify and Apple podcasts. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me to why won't you date me? Podcastmail.com I'll read it. This person writes. Hi, Nicole. Also Mars with a little hand wave. You and Sasheer can treat me like you're ninja creamy. You two will finger blast each other and come in my mouth. I don't want to do that with a friend.

[Beck Bennett]

I'll mix and do it with strangers.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, truly. I'll swish the come around until it's nice and creamy. We will snowball the creamy cum in a three way makeout. Ugh.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

Forever marking Yalls journey as the Creamy sisters.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh my God, the Creamy sisters.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, on our podcast, I called. I called her. She was wearing a cream colored jumpsuit. And then I was like, I have a cream colored jumpsuit. We could wear them together and be the creamy sisters. So that person took something really light and silly and fun and made it disgusting.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And you invited them to do that?

[Nicole Byer]

I did.

[Beck Bennett]

I said, please, Doctor, I was. I was looking forward to this part of the podcast probably the most. Sitting here while you read something sexually disgusting and not maybe not disgusting. You know what I mean? No judgment. Nasty. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't want to snowball cuss into Sasheer's mouth.

[Beck Bennett]

I. I mean, but she's a good Christian woman. She really is. But, you know, she's open. I don't know, like, get an only fans, see what happens.

[Nicole Byer]

Show them toes and.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, and donate, like, 10% of it to charity or something.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God. What if I did do that? No, I don't want to show my toes.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm not gonna do. Those are for you.

[Nicole Byer]

Those are my toes. They're in a shoe. Bye back.

[Beck Bennett]

Bye. Thank you.

[Nicole Byer]

That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Beck Bennett]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us now on Headgum.

[Nicole Byer]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[Beck Bennett]

That's right.

[Nicole Byer]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Beck Bennett]

Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Nicole Byer]

A whole lot.

[Beck Bennett]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to. That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify new episodes every Tuesday.