Getting Robbed by Hookups (w/ Lushious Massacr)

Summary

Why Won’t You Date Me? With Nicole Byer

Episode: Getting Robbed by Hookups (w/ Lushious Massacr)
Date: January 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Nicole Byer welcomes Emmy Award-winning drag queen, makeup artist, and YouTuber, Lushious Massacr. Together, they explore the unpredictable and often messy world of hookups, modern dating for fat and queer people, drag and self-acceptance, and hard-won lessons about self-worth and boundaries. Peppered throughout are the kind of outrageous stories, radical honesty, and quick-witted banter that fans adore, making this a memorable and affirming conversation about resilience, romance, and learning to love oneself.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Falling in Love, Hookups, and Love Bombing (Starts ~02:41)

• Lushious recounts a recent passionate hookup:
  “I think I might have fallen in love last night. ...Five minutes in, he was like, I can already tell that you're the one.” (02:48–03:10)
• Discussion on meeting men on Facebook Dating vs. Grindr:
  Lushious explains that while Facebook Dating connects her with “real people” open to more than just hookups, most men on Grindr are just “panty sniffers”—men who fetishize but don’t value trans women and drag queens as partners.
• Nicole’s approach to dating:
  Shares she's begun seeing someone seriously and describes her own openness to connection, not fixating on “a type” but focusing on conversation and chemistry. (06:51)

2. Gender, Queer Identity, and Dating as Fat & Feminine (Starts ~05:09)

• Lushious describes fluid gender presentation:
  Some days she identifies as a woman, but rarely has romantic experiences as a man, citing how big, feminine gay men have “basically zero value” in the gay dating world.
• Nicole relating as a fat woman:
  Both discuss desirability politics and how attraction is limited by men’s visual expectations.
  “You tend to just be seen as less than... There could be a woman in a room who might be perfect for a man, but because she doesn’t look like the idea of a woman he has, he’s not going to pay her no mind.” – Lushious (06:06–06:30)

3. Drag, Self-Love, and Finding Your Voice (Starts ~16:19)

• Drag as survival and self-actualization:
  Lushious shares her upbringing in a conservative Mexican household in Texas (“the taint of the United States”), finding liberation in drag and realizing she could be both matriarch and patriarch for her family. (17:00–18:35)
• The power of drag communities:
  Her drag mother gave her “radical confidence” by insisting, “do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”—a turning point in overcoming shyness and trauma. (19:46–19:56)
• Nicole on always being outspoken:
  Contrasts her own childhood, always eager to talk, while reflecting on people who find their voices through drag and performance later in life.

4. The Stigma Faced by Drag Queens in Dating (Starts ~07:33)

• Shifts in gay community acceptance:
  Once considered undateable (“just little party clowns”), drag queens are finally being seen as valued partners by some men—a hopeful shift.
• On consuming drag but being unwilling to date queens:
  “Gay men see drag queens as these little clowns...and they don't realize that, you know, we are people too. We're also—We're looking for love too, honey.” – Lushious (08:09)

5. Honesty and Setting Boundaries in Dating (Starts ~30:27)

• Radical honesty up front:
  Lushious details telling her new love interest:
  “I need you to be green flags... I need you to have a job. I need you to have a car. ...Don't come over here with your drama and your bullshit.” (30:30–31:15) “I'm not going on a fantasy ride with this man.” (31:29)
• Nicole reflects on learning her worth:
  She used to tiptoe around her desires but realized the value of direct communication (33:07).
• On communicating vs. waiting:
  “If you put your expectations up front, first day, then either you hit those expectations or you move on.” (31:34)

6. The Realities (and Dangers) of Hookup Culture (Starts ~38:46)

• Wildest hookup stories:
  • Robbed by hookups:
    “I had men come in and then they steal my phone, jump out the window.” (38:48)
    “He tried to steal my television, girl, the whole tv. ...I grabbed that wine bottle and I broke it in his head.” (41:20)
  • Advice for safety:
    Lushious “trade-proofs” her home before hookups—covering valuables, keeping the lights low. Even then, “they'll steal the lube!” (54:07)
• On hookup etiquette vs. theft:
  Nicole: “I simply couldn't fathom going to someone's home and then being like, nah, I'm gonna take that.” (53:43)

7. Self-Love as the Real Romantic Goal (Starts ~55:11)

• Lushious’ advice to singles:
  “Remember that you came to this planet and your only purpose in life is to love yourself. ...The only person you gotta share your life with is with yourself.” (55:14)
  • Self-care tips: hydration, eating well, sweating every day for physical and mental health.
  • On her own transformation: lost 100 pounds by shifting self-perception and prioritizing self-love and wellness (56:18).
• Knowing your worth and what you don’t deserve:
  “Once you become the fully realized, healed, best version of yourself...then you will gravitate that person who will be able to come and see you.” (57:27)

8. Mental Health, Purpose, and Societal Struggles (Starts ~42:08 & 43:04)

• Struggles of younger generations:
  Lushious describes a collective depression and sense of purposelessness; many lack direction, passions, and fulfillment.
• Nicole's joy comes from making others smile, learned from her mother’s warmth and generosity:
  “Her purpose in life was...to make people feel seen” (44:36)
• On being your own magician:
  Lushious: “If you wanna have a charming life, you have to make it charming. Yes, you are the magician. I am the magician in my life...I have to create romance and adventure.” (46:22–47:11)

9. Religion, Acceptance, and Chosen Family (Starts ~48:01)

• On religion as support but also source of queer trauma:
  “The church...is like a big support group. ...But there are people who are just bitter and miserable, and they weaponize it.” (48:01–48:53)
• Nicole’s mother as a model of unconditional acceptance:
  “She always made people smile...Her purpose in life was to make people feel seen.” (44:36)

10. Memorable Quotes & Playful Wisdom

• On dating expectations:
  “Communication wars have been solved with communication…rip the band aid off. Let's stop wasting our time. Let's get it together. Like, tell me the truth. I want the truth.” – Lushious (33:57)
• On hookup theft:
  “Press the number one in the comments if the trade has ever stolen from you, sweetie. Oh, I know it's happened to the girls.” – Lushious (40:19)
• On personal boundaries:
  “If the joke is good, I'm gonna go for it, baby. I don't care at whose expense I'm going to attack.” – Lushious (15:59)
• On self-affirmation:
  “I know I'm a catch...anybody, if they were ever to get the opportunity to love me. Oh, bitch. They would get their life. I would take them on a roller coaster.” – Lushious (34:18)
• On self-care:
  “Sweating equals healing.” – Lushious (56:13)
• On world peace:
  “I have a theory that through anal play we will achieve world peace one day.” – Lushious (24:52)

11. Playful and Affirming Advice

• For singles:
  “You did not come here to this planet to look for someone else to fall in love with you...the only person you gotta share your life with is with yourself.” (55:14)
  “Once you become the fully realized, healed, best version of yourself, then you will gravitate that person who will be able to come and see you.” (57:27)

• On overcoming fears:
  “A New Year's resolution, I think, is just to overcome my fears more... I deserve it! I should do it.” – Lushious (59:39–60:12)

• On trying new things:
  “Sometimes you...just have to open yourself up and you never know, you might be surprised and you might find so much joy.” – Lushious (61:34)

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Notable Moments & Timestamps

• Falling in love with a hookup: 02:48–03:18
• “Panty sniffer” stories: 04:01
• Blocked for being trans on dating apps: 10:07
• Being radically honest with new partners: 30:30–31:45
• Hookup theft: phone and TV stories: 38:48–41:22
• Trade-proofing a home: 54:07
• Self-love pep talk: 55:11–57:27
• The power of drag and chosen family: 16:19–19:56
• On overcoming fear and saying yes to new experiences: 59:39–61:34
• Advice to single listeners: 55:14

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Tone & Style

• The episode is effervescent, sharply funny, and unflinchingly honest. Nicole and Lushious blend humor with vulnerability, trading outrageous stories and playful ribbing while touching on real struggles—sometimes with dark humor but always with a sense of self-love and resilience.
• Lushious displays her trademark radical honesty and wit, frequently calling things out as she sees them.
• Nicole adds warmth and relatability, often grounding the conversation in her own life and insights.

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Conclusion

An episode overflowing with laugh-out-loud stories, authentic self-reflection, and a heartfelt message: love yourself first, claim your space, and set clear, fearless boundaries—whether you’re dating, performing, or just surviving the wild West of modern love. Drag royalty or “big bitch,” everyone deserves to be seen.

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Lushious’ YouTube Show:
Dragvestigations – “I make people feel seen…cause let me tell you, society will pay the girls dust. But we do have the power to correct it.”

Nicole’s Key Takeaway:
“I used to wait for things to happen, now I ask for what I want. If you don’t want to be in a relationship, then I got to move on. Because I would like to be in a relationship right now.” – Nicole (33:46)

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For more, check out Dragvestigations on YouTube and tune in for more hilarious, moving confessions every week with Nicole Byer.

Transcript

[Nicole Byer]

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.

[Luscious Nastica]

This is a headgum podcast.

[Nicole Byer]

Hey, it's Tig Notaro from the Handsome Podcast. And I'm Mae Martin. And I'm Fortune Feimster, also from the Handsome Podcast. And we wanted to let you know that we made a very fun special episode of our show sponsored by Squarespace. That's up now on our YouTube page for you to watch. Handsome finally formed a band and recorded a hit song live in the podcast studio. And we documented the whole process for you to watch. It's by far the most ambitious and inspiring moment on our show to date. I feel like we can't say much more about it without giving too much away. So just go watch us make complete fools of ourselves and have the best time ever. Or become the newest pop sensations. That's right. Go to YouTube.com handsomepod or listen wherever you get your podcasts. That's YouTube.com handsomepod to hear us record a song live. See you at the Grammys. Oh, for sure, buddy. For sure. Get started on your dream website today. Head to squarespace.com handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code handsome to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Luscious Nastica]

I was letting these men come over here and disrespect me, use me and not treat me in a godly way. And one time I had a who? As he was leaving, he tried to steal my television, girl, the whole tv. He was like, I'm just gonna try. And I said, bitch, I had what? My cousin had just given me a wine bottle for my birthday. I grabbed that wine bottle and I broke it in his head. He started gushing blood and he ran out and I said, try it again, sweetie. Try it again. And he ran out the house.

[Nicole Byer]

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me, Please? Why? O baby. Welcome to another episode of why Won't yout Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on my nail and say, it's an acrylic. My guest today is an Emmy Award winning drag queen, makeup artist, and host of Dragvestigations on YouTube, where she investigates if stores are big girl friendly, while also hunting for trade in the aisles. I'm so, so excited. I'm a very big fan. It's luscious Nastica.

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, my God. Thank you for having me.

[Nicole Byer]

Thank you for being here.

[Luscious Nastica]

I'm so excited.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay. Before we started, you said I had something happen last night that might be good for the show.

[Luscious Nastica]

I think I might have fallen in love last night. Does that ever happen? Do you ever have an experience where you, like, completely fall in love with a man, but as soon as he leaves, you know you're just never gonna see him again? Has that ever happened to you?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah, I had, like. But it was a lot stronger than usual, the connection I had with this man, the way he made me feel. Oh, it was like five minutes in, he was like, I can already tell that you're the one. Five minutes in, girl.

[Nicole Byer]

You were getting love bombed.

[Luscious Nastica]

Girl, I got loved bombed down.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, how did you meet him?

[Luscious Nastica]

I met him online. I met him through Facebook dating, which is a different kind of app to meet people because I usually meet them on Grindr, the trainer.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay. We're on Grindr girl for the girls.

[Luscious Nastica]

You know, for girls like me, the trade. Now, all of the men who are attracted to, like, trans women or, you know, people who wear wigs, wear makeup, most of them have gone to Grindr, but it's difficult to actually take them seriously. Cause the majority of them are like panty sniffers. You know, they're just trying to hook up.

[Nicole Byer]

Sure.

[Luscious Nastica]

It's just a one night stand.

[Nicole Byer]

I've never encountered a panty sniffer. Really? Have you?

[Luscious Nastica]

He literally, last night, he's like, can I take your underwear? After the session, he's like, can I take your underwear so I can remember you? Because I told him, I was like, there's a real possibility we're never gonna see each other ever again. You know what I mean? But, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Did he take the panties?

[Luscious Nastica]

He took the panties. I gave him my underwear. I thought, you know, something to remember me by. It made me feel very, like.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Luscious Nastica]

Like desired.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

If a man wants your underwear to take them with him so he can sniff them later.

[Nicole Byer]

Sniff them. Remember?

[Luscious Nastica]

It made me feel so desired, I lived. Has a man ever took in your panties?

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Luscious Nastica]

Really? No. A man stolen them?

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Luscious Nastica]

Really?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think so. But I don't wear a variety of different panties or underwear. I just wear. They're just Calvin Klein underwear that say Calvin Klein on the rim. That's it. That's all I wear. And I wear a black bra. I'm not exciting.

[Luscious Nastica]

You don't want to know. You want to know why? I think this was a different experience for me that resonated with me because I met him as. Okay, so I usually, you know, I live my life where like the binary to me doesn't exist.

[Nicole Byer]

Sure.

[Luscious Nastica]

So some days I'm a woman, other days I'm completely like. I identify as a gay man and I very rarely have experiences, romantic experiences as a man. I feel like I'm. The majority of my romantic dating experience has been in this kind of presentation as a woman.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

I feel more desirable, I feel more attractive, I feel more sexy. I feel more powerful too. I feel like with the feminine energy, I can attract men in a way that as a man, when I present as a man, I feel like society pays me dust. Especially in the gay world.

[Nicole Byer]

Sure.

[Luscious Nastica]

Because I'm big, I'm feminine, you know, I'm not a very masculine kind of guy. So in the gay world, my value is like basically zero. It's non existent.

[Nicole Byer]

That bums me out.

[Luscious Nastica]

Well, you know, and it's. But it's the truth.

[Nicole Byer]

It's the truth. I think for women as well. When you're a fatter woman.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

You tend to just be seen as.

[Luscious Nastica]

Less than the majority of men are such like visual animals. And you could literally. There could be a woman in a room a man can walk in and that might be his soulmate. She might be perfect for him. They might have the best chemistry. But because she doesn't look like the idea of the woman that she has.

[Nicole Byer]

That he's not gonna pay her no.

[Luscious Nastica]

Money, he's gonna pay her dust. And that woman can. They could build a life together. They could fall in love. They could make all of their. They could be that thing for each other. They could see each other and be able to share their life together. But that man will not budge.

[Nicole Byer]

He just doesn't want it.

[Luscious Nastica]

He's an idiot.

[Nicole Byer]

It's not what he aesthetically wants.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Which is I. That's why I'm like, I don't really have a type. I. When I was in the streets, I would date anybody. I simply was like, if the conversation is good, if I find you attractive, if we have good vibes together, sure. I'm happy to date any old person.

[Luscious Nastica]

I'm the same way. As I've gotten older, I've evolved with the idea of what that person might be like, what he might look like. You know, when I first, I remember when I was younger, I was so fixated with. He has to be super masculine, he has to be a top. He has to be all these things that I imagined as I've gotten older, I'm like, well, you know, if he Likes to wear a little lipstick?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, why not?

[Luscious Nastica]

I'm not opposed to it.

[Nicole Byer]

It's like, you're in lipstick.

[Luscious Nastica]

If he's a little feminine, you share some lipstick. Because men have in the gay community too. Cause back in the days, you know, being a drag queen or being a cross dresser or being a, you know, a doll, the gay men would be like, oh, no, no, no, I can't. I don't like that. I can't touch that. That's not my thing.

[Nicole Byer]

I wonder why it's evolved, though, because it's so strange to me to, like, consume something. You know, like to go to a club to watch a drag queen, to tip a queen and then be like, mm, no, I don't want that. It's like, why do you consume it? But not.

[Luscious Nastica]

It happens so much that gay men see drag queens as these little clowns. Like, these little, like, give us a dollar, we're just a little party clown for you. And they don't realize that, you know, we are people too. We're also. We're looking for love too, honey. We want a date too. We want to be seen, too. But the majority of gay men, you know, I will say they have evolved because being a drag queen, 10, 15 years ago, you were completely undateable. And now they're, you know, people have opened their minds. Because I love to see now drag queens when they're running around with their partners, with their boyfriends or their husbands, I'm like, oh, it gives me hope. It gives me hope.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that it gives you hope. Wait, tell me. I haven't been on Facebook dating at all. Like, I guess I just missed that. I didn't even know they sign up.

[Luscious Nastica]

It's cute because it shows you the men in your area, like, the people who are on Facebook in your area that are open to dating. And then so it opens you up to where they can either swipe to where they either want to date you or they just like you as friends. So it also helps you connect with making friends too.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay.

[Luscious Nastica]

And then those friendships, you just never know where it's gonna go. But I do notice that I get more hits on Facebook dating because it's real people. They're not just looking for a hookup. It's like, if you have Facebook and you sign, if you activate the dating portion of it, it automatically adds you to the pool of all the people around you that are on Facebook that are open to dating. So to me, it's like dating. Facebook dating is more for, like, real people.

[Nicole Byer]

Interesting. Yeah.

[Luscious Nastica]

It's not just the Grinder whores Heard it here first.

[Nicole Byer]

Facebook dating's where it's at.

[Luscious Nastica]

You need to get on it, girl. It's good.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, I have somebody. I started dating somebody. He's a lovely, lovely man who's in my life. He's so sweet to me, and I can't say, like, enough nice things about him.

[Luscious Nastica]

Where did you meet him?

[Nicole Byer]

I met him on Hinge.

[Luscious Nastica]

Okay. I'm blocked off everything, girl. Let me tell you, the world.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, how did you get blocked?

[Luscious Nastica]

Well, you know, the world is very transphobic. It's very dollphobic. And I think I've gotten blocked off of Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, everything, because for. They claim that I'm impersonating a woman, and so they block. You block. You block. I'm blocked on everything fucked up, girl. The only place I can go is Grindr. And now Facebook dating. Shout out to the girls who are blocked out there, honey. Cause, baby, let me tell you, the girls be getting blocked. It's rough.

[Nicole Byer]

What's one of the wildest dates you've been on?

[Luscious Nastica]

Well, I've never been on a date.

[Nicole Byer]

You've never been on a date?

[Luscious Nastica]

I've never. I tell this story all the time. I've never been on a date. I've been a whore. But I feel like I've never really been kissed, you know, like, that real kiss from someone who, like, oh, my God, they really see me. They really are attracted to me. There is real intimacy here. They really know me, and we are, like.

[Nicole Byer]

Even in, like, a hookup. You haven't? No.

[Luscious Nastica]

On a hookup. Of course, honey. I've done it all.

[Nicole Byer]

You haven't felt like, a.

[Luscious Nastica]

Like a. Ooh, I have, but it always. I've always had my feet in the ground where I'm like, girl, this is a hookup.

[Nicole Byer]

You know what I felt true love's kiss.

[Luscious Nastica]

I've never felt true love's kiss. I really do feel like I'm a hopeless romantic. And I feel like Drew Barrymore. Like, I want to one day, I want to be in that baseball field, and I'm like, put 10 minutes on the clock, bitch. Where is this man? Is he really gonna come up with.

[Nicole Byer]

Me, who was my teacher for a.

[Luscious Nastica]

While, but, you know. Right, right. My teacher. But listen, that was. Baby, that teacher was fine. He was cute, and it was very inappropriate. But, you know, she was older. If you think about it, it's like, that's fucked up.

[Nicole Byer]

But then it's like, well, she was, like, 30 she's his age, so technically fine.

[Luscious Nastica]

Right.

[Nicole Byer]

Although, if I were him, I'd be like, what's going on? What's happening to me?

[Luscious Nastica]

It was very strange, but, I mean.

[Nicole Byer]

It'S a very good.

[Luscious Nastica]

I do have hope, though. I feel like one. Like, you only live once. I do feel like one day I will fall in love and I will right the wrongs of all the things that have happened to me, all the, you know, all the ways men have disrespected me throughout my life, taken me for granted. Like, I was right there in front of them, and they couldn't see me. I feel like one day the man who will see me is out there.

[Nicole Byer]

I believe that because I always was. Like, I don't know if there's somebody out there for me. But the nice man in my life, he very much accepts me for who I am. I get to be very silly and goofy, and he likes that. Because I've dated men where, like, I would say a joke and then they try to, like, make it funny. Like, they would just. They. They wanted to be the funny one. And I'm not saying that he's not funny, but he's very secure that I. That I'm a funny person and, like, being silly. And I had never experienced that. And that was very. I guess I could say therapeutic to just be seen. Cause I think that's what you're saying, and I do feel very seen by him.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah. It's also, you know, finding someone who's compatible with you, who can also be okay with taking that backseat sometimes.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

Because, as you know, we are, you know, comedians. The girls are entertainers. We have these big personalities that we've built through trauma, because, you know, in reality, is the majority of actors, comedians, entertainers. We are just very traumatized by life. We either were not loved enough, we were not seen enough by our families, by our friends, by society. So then we get to a point where we develop these skills where it's like we walk in a room and we demand attention.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

We love attention. We are. We're narcissists in our hearts because of trauma.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

And so we need. We do. I agree. I would need to be with someone who is absolutely okay with being the beta to my alpha, happy to smile while you're doing your thing, and just lets us shine. Because clearly we're not well and we need attention. You know what I mean? Like, so I am very aware of, like, I need to find a man who is okay with not really needing that much attention, being Comfortable with bitch. When I walk in the room, I'm going to.

[Nicole Byer]

People are looking at me.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yes. Because that's what I need.

[Nicole Byer]

I once wrote a joke about this man I was seeing, and we had, like, gotten into a fight. So I wrote a joke about it, and he had come to the show, and then I read him the joke before I did it, and he was fine with it. I think he felt some type of way about people laughing about things he had said to me. And he was like, I know that you, like, think that's, like, a funny situation. Da, da, da, da. And I was like, oh, you think that mean thing you said to me is a funny situation? I was like, I wrote the joke because you hurt my feelings so much. And I made it something nice and not positive, but, like, I made it so a group of people could commiserate with me and laugh with me on this. And then he was like, I don't want you to tell it anymore. And I was like, okay. All right.

[Luscious Nastica]

You need to date someone who has a sense of humor, who doesn't take it too seriously, because you are, you know, you're an observer, and you are going to transmutate those things in a funny way. And if they don't want to be, you know, if they don't want their. The life that you're shared to be some. You're gonna publicize it in some way.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

And if they can't handle that, if.

[Nicole Byer]

They can't handle it, they gotta get out of the kitchen. Because I did talk to the man I'm currently with. I was like, are you okay if I, like, write a joke about you?

[Luscious Nastica]

He has to be a part of it?

[Nicole Byer]

And he was like, yeah. And then I was like, oh, I'll just, like, run it past you. And he was like, no, I trust you. He's like, I trust that you won't put out something that would be offensive to me or, like, hurt my feelings. And I was like, that trust really makes me feel so.

[Luscious Nastica]

It's a lot of trust, too.

[Nicole Byer]

It is. Because I can say, girl, you can go in a lot of shit. No, I'm kidding.

[Luscious Nastica]

You can go in. No, I am aware of, like, one day, if, when I date that man, he's gonna have to have a sense of humor. He's gonna have to be very, like, not bothered by it. Because sometimes, if the joke is good, I'm gonna go for it, baby. I don't care at whose expense I'm going to attack.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm gonna go for it.

[Luscious Nastica]

How did you get into drag through life saving measures? You know, I live. I come from Brownsville, Texas. It's a small town in the south of Texas. You know, Texas, all the way in the south, the little bottom, I call it, like the taint of the United States. And I'm all the way in the bottom by the border. And, you know, it was like when I found the drag community, when I found drag queens, I was able to see, obviously I could relate. I was like, oh, my God, I was a gay boy and I was so afraid of telling people I was gay. So everywhere I went, I was like, I'm straight. I would just lie to everyone. I was like, I'm straight. But everyone was like, honey, sweetie, who are you trying to fool, darling? But especially the drag queens. They clocked me first. They were like, honey, don't do that. Don't come over here and do this to us and play these games with us, okay? So then I found those drag queens and I saw, like, Raven. Like I had a moment, like, that's so Raven, where I was like, oh, my God, I see my future. And I'm so afraid of it. Because at that time, I was still dealing with self hate. I was dealing with coming to terms with the fact that, you know, I was so afraid of, like, would my family accept me? Would they be okay with this? I knew deep down that they were gonna struggle with it. You know, I come from a Mexican household, very conservative. They have all these imaginations of, like, what their kids are gonna be like. And I was the oldest. I was supposed to be the man of the house, the boy of the house. And I was like, honey, I am nothing of the so. But, you know, actually now in retrospect, I've healed so much now I'm 37 years old. Now I realize I am the man of the house. I just happen to wear a wig and put on heels from time to time, but I am the man of the house. And one day when my parents are no longer here, I will be the matriarch and the patriarch of this home.

[Nicole Byer]

And I love that.

[Luscious Nastica]

And I will write the duality and listen my siblings, I am going to get them together and I'm going to take care of them and I'm going to right the wrongs of all the things that we've been through. I'm like, one day I will. My magical powers will be so strong that I will right the wrongs of all the things that life has put us through.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that.

[Luscious Nastica]

But that's what we have to do. If you live long enough, you have to right the wrongs of the things that life has done to you.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I agree.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah. And I found drag. And I was like, bitch, these are my people. They give me so much hope. Look at how happy they are. Look at how I remember my drag mother when I met her. Her name is Div. And I was like, how is she so confident? Who does she think she is? How does she have this? I just didn't understand how she walked in a room. Like, she was the most beautiful person in the room, and she had the most value, and she didn't care about. Like, she was just so in love with herself. I realized later she was, you know, out of survival. She taught herself how to be that. And so she took me under her wing and she taught me. And she told me one day, she said, do you have any idea how beautiful you are? Do you have any idea your value, your worth? Cause back in those days, I was basically like, I couldn't speak. I was so shy, I wouldn't talk. Yes. Cause of all the things I'd been through, I was so shy. I was so insecure. I would walk in a room and I would go sit in the corner, and I wouldn't speak to a single person. Cause I was so shy. I just didn't have it in me. Now I'm like, bitch, look at me.

[Nicole Byer]

You found your voice.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That's always so funny to me when somebody who is, like, funny and. And vivacious and vibrant is like, oh, as a kid, I barely spoke because as a kid, I would not shut up. I. I came out being like, I.

[Luscious Nastica]

Have things to say.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, I've always been like this. So I always think it's really interesting when people find their voice, because I didn't have to find it. I just truly have just been like this.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And I love drag because I remember I was living in New York. I saw a billboard for RuPaul's Drag Race with, like, the old black and white, like, checker. And then she's holding the helmet, and I was like, oh, what's that? And then I logged on to logo tv.com and I watched the first days on the computer.

[Luscious Nastica]

We were watching on the computer. I remember that.

[Nicole Byer]

I was like, huh? I know that, like, I. I was not born a man, and I don't identify as a man, but I was like, they transform, and they wear big wigs and lots of makeup, and I love big wigs and lots of makeup. I was like, I feel a kinship.

[Luscious Nastica]

And it's the femininity.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Luscious Nastica]

I think we. You know, a lot of people get so caught up with, oh, my God, that's a man in a wig. They can't. You know, they put themselves in so many, like, little prisons where they're like, well, in this prison that I'm in, a man is not supposed to wear heels, is not supposed to wear makeup, and can't wear a wig. But the reality is, is what we're really drag queens, what we're tapping into is just the feminine realm. We're tapping into that feminine force, and we're pulling from it, and it makes us powerful. And of course, women can relate to that, because women do it, too.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

Women know how to tap into that feminine realm and use that powerful energy so that they can also manipulate and get the things that they. And I don't mean manipulate in a negative way. I mean manipulate in a powerful way. It empowers femininity. Empowers.

[Nicole Byer]

I think so. And I also. I don't understand why, like, men's fashion became just like men in cargo shorts. And, like, if you think. If you, like, look back at Pictures from the 70s, men would wear little block heels, flares, belly shirts, short shorts, even into, like, the 80s. And then, like, the 90s happened, and then. Now men are so scared to wear things that are slightly feminine. And I'm like, but why?

[Luscious Nastica]

It's. These men are in pain. These men are not. Well, these men are. And they're so afraid. They are taught from. They're taught shame, since they're kids, to be afraid of anything feminine because they see it as a weakness. Honey, if they just tapped into the femininity, they would find a power girl. You could put on a little pink, a little flower. You can put on a little glitter.

[Nicole Byer]

A little something paint your little toenails.

[Luscious Nastica]

But they're so afraid. They're so traumatized, and they hate femininity so much, unless it's packaged and bottled in a way that, for them, is pleasurable. Then they love it.

[Nicole Byer]

Then they love it.

[Luscious Nastica]

Then they love the femininity.

[Nicole Byer]

Honey, I dated this man where he wasn't scared of femininity, but, like, he never expressed himself to his friends. So then I felt like I was his therapist. This is years and years and years ago.

[Luscious Nastica]

Comfortable sharing with a woman.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. And I was like, strange. You gotta get a friend, right? I can't be your therapist. And in this relationship, it didn't last very long, but I was like, this is exhausting. You have to tell. Tell A friend call up a. Call one of your guys, tell him you're sad. I don't know.

[Luscious Nastica]

Grew up where they told him, you can't open up to another man and share your feelings. You can't be vulnerable.

[Nicole Byer]

Which wild. We gotta correct that. We gotta send these men to therapy.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Tell them to talk to a fucking friend. Phone a friend.

[Luscious Nastica]

And it shows. With everything going on in America right now, in society, how these men are literally because of their own stubbornness, their own ignorance, one day they could destroy the planet just because of how afraid they are of femininity.

[Nicole Byer]

It's also wild to me where there's this notion that women are like more emotional than men. And I'm like, no, men are way more emotional. I think we're just not calling like anger and emotion like men are. A lot of men are angry in a way that I'm like, how do.

[Luscious Nastica]

You live, how do you how and how do you exercise all that frustration? It's like, baby, sometimes you know what they need? What they probably just need, like to put a dildo in their asshole. I promise you, after a little bit of anal play, they're gonna release all that pressure, all those pent up aggression and emotion. They're gonna let it out. I don't think you're wrong, honey.

[Nicole Byer]

Let me wrong. I think a little finger in the butthole.

[Luscious Nastica]

I have a theory that through anal play we will achieve world peace one day. It's the only way, honey. How else are these men gonna release all of these pent up emotions and frustration?

[Nicole Byer]

We will achieve.

[Luscious Nastica]

These men just need to get pegged. They need a. You know what, listen, I get it. You only, you wanna be with a woman. I understand. Just, you know, women love to have.

[Nicole Byer]

Women can wear strap ons. Absolutely. Strap up diva.

[Luscious Nastica]

This is my advice to all you women out there, please, for the sake of humanity, can you please find a way to peg your man? Honey, if that man is in a position of power, if he's in politics, if he's a governor, a senator, can you please peg him for us? It might be the only way for that man to finally feel peace and happiness and release. Girl, that prostate needs to expunge everything.

[Nicole Byer]

It needs to be massage expunged.

[Luscious Nastica]

Honey, take everything out of there. Liquidate that prostate. Make sure it's empty.

[Nicole Byer]

Liquidate it out.

[Luscious Nastica]

Empty it out. Dear Lord, there are men walking around this planet, their prostate has never been touched. These men have never known real pleasure. Baby, the prostate is where it's at. I'm telling you, world Peace through Prostate Prostate play real quick.

[Nicole Byer]

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[Luscious Nastica]

I'm telling you, last night, that man, it was such a sweet and tender experience. I cuddled with him, I made out with him. The way he spoke to me, I feel like you're gonna be the one. And I can see myself like, I really want to do everything I can so that I can see you every day for the rest of my life. That's what he said. I was like, bitch, you are too good to be true.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you reach out to him today?

[Luscious Nastica]

We are, we're texting today. But here's the thing. I did tell him when we were like, we're deep in embrace and we're making out and it's all lovey dovey. And I grabbed him and I slapped him in his face. You know, a little, a playful slap. And I said, I need you to be green flags. Bitch. Don't come at me with all these red flags. I said, if you really wanna date me, I need you to get your shit together. I need you to have a job. I need you to have a car. I need you to come over here. Don't come over here with your dramas and your bullshit. I don't wanna hear, I need you to come healed because I am healed. And I don't deserve for you to come over here with your issues and try to distract me with your bullshit. I have too many things to do. So I told him straight up, I Said, come to me with green flags. Don't come over here with red flags.

[Nicole Byer]

And what did he say to that?

[Luscious Nastica]

Today he texted me. He said, I'm just letting you know I'm working on getting my things together. And like, I have a. So it's. You know, I love that there. I love that he heard me. But I. Cause I'm being serious.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that you put all that shit out there in the beginning.

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, honey, I am not going on a fantasy ride with this man.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, I love that.

[Luscious Nastica]

I can't do it.

[Nicole Byer]

Sometimes people are like, that's too forward. You gotta, like, see where it goes. But it's like if you put your expectations up front, first day, then either you hit those expectations or you move on.

[Luscious Nastica]

We need. Listen. I gave him, him radical honesty because there was a moment where we were like talking and he started to complain about, oh, it's because this and this. And I said, listen, I don't want to hear it right now because you're coming at me with all these things and you're going to start making me worry. You're going to start to distract me. You're already come. That's a red flag. Don't come at me with red flags. Don't come at me with your bullshit. Bitch, I just met you. No, he also asked, can I stay over? I said, that's a red flag.

[Nicole Byer]

That is a red flag. Stay over on the first night. No. Let's go our separate ways and miss each other for a little bit at least for me.

[Luscious Nastica]

We hung out for a bit and then I said, baby, you gotta go. Because it's not normal for me to just have met you and sure, already we're already like in my bed, we're making out already. This is a little too much. But you wanna stay over. It's like already you are crossing boundaries. Yes, we need to build boundaries. We need to communicate. I need to tell you what I expect. The things that I need for me to take you seriously. Bitch, if you got too many red flags, don't waste my time. This is just the hookup. And then after. Get out, goodbye. Get out, goodbye. Yeah, we need to communicate our. I told him straight up, don't come over here with this bullshit. Please don't waste my time.

[Nicole Byer]

I agree.

[Luscious Nastica]

Cause I'm not gonna take you seriously. I don't deserve it either.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, you know what you deserve? You know your worth. It took me a long time to learn my worth. And I would tiptoe around things I like, would want to be in Relationships with people. And I'd be like, oh, I'll just wait for them to say something. And I remember with my. The nice man in my life, I was like. I think it was like, maybe two months in, I was like, so what is this? What are we? And then he was like, oh, well, do you want to be my girlfriend? I was like, yes, I do. Yes, I do. I would like that very much.

[Luscious Nastica]

You nudged him. You were like, get it together.

[Nicole Byer]

What's going on?

[Luscious Nastica]

Right?

[Nicole Byer]

What is it? And I feel like years ago I would have been like, oh, I'll just wait for them to bring it up. I don't want to be the one. I don't want my feelings hurt.

[Luscious Nastica]

Right?

[Nicole Byer]

I was like, two months in, I'll get my feelings hurt. If you don't want to be in a relationship, then, like, I got to move on. Because I would like to be in a relationship right now.

[Luscious Nastica]

Communication wars have been solved with communication. And let me tell you, I love to communicate. I love to. That uncomfortable thing that, like, you tiptoe around it. You don't wanna say it. I love to be the first thing I say. Cause it's like, rip the band aid off. Let's stop wasting our time. Let's get it together. Like, tell me the truth. I want the truth.

[Nicole Byer]

I've gotten there.

[Luscious Nastica]

Cause I've done. I've worked so much on myself. I've healed so much that now I'm at a place in my life where I know I'm a catch. I have incredible things going for me. I am a really, really funny, charismatic person. And anybody, if they were ever to get the opportunity to love me. Oh, bitch. They would get their life. I would take them on a roller coaster. I just wanna find someone who can see me beyond all of the visual and all of the things that can be distracting, especially to men and gay men right now. I just want someone who can see the real me. And once you do, if you ever do really see me, oh, we're gonna have so much fun together. They're gonna get their life.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that so much. What are the qualities you're looking for in a partner?

[Luscious Nastica]

I just want someone who's kind, someone who is funny. Someone who can. Knows how to control their emotions, who can navigate their emotions. Cause we don't talk about this enough. The majority of people on here, they don't know how to navigate their emotions. Yes, they can get very quickly. Just any little thing can throw them off. And then they go and get distracted and they start running around Doing Just doing dumb shit. Because they don't know how to control and regulate their emotions. I need someone who is like, bitch, you know your center. You know how to be able to quiet those voices. You know how to control your emotions. Things won't just suddenly, like, stress you out and throw you off.

[Nicole Byer]

Mm.

[Luscious Nastica]

Can you keep your shit together? Cause I can't be dealing with a toddler.

[Nicole Byer]

That's tough. That's a tough ask because a lot of people don't know how to do it.

[Luscious Nastica]

Maybe the girls, honey, they're not well.

[Nicole Byer]

A lot of people aren't well. My God. But that's something again, that I had to learn. I take walks whenever I feel like whenever I've made up something, something happens and I've made up more things that have happened that have not happened yet. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna take a walk and think about what's true, what's not true, right? Or I'll get in the shower. I think it's called self regulating or something. So I get in the shower and the water helps me.

[Luscious Nastica]

You literally meditate in the shower and you come back to what really matters.

[Nicole Byer]

And then I can respond like a human being as opposed to being like, I'll kill you.

[Luscious Nastica]

The majority of people, they don't ever reach that level of just like, you know, self awareness. It's like, bitch, do you know who you are? Are you in control of yourself? Are you driving the car?

[Nicole Byer]

Do you go to therapy?

[Luscious Nastica]

I don't.

[Nicole Byer]

Interesting.

[Luscious Nastica]

I went to therapy once and I sat down with a therapist and then I said, bitch, you need therapy. I said, bitch, you know what? I'm gonna give you therapy tonight.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm gonna tell you a little bit about yourself.

[Luscious Nastica]

She was awful. And the whole time, no, by the end of the session, I said, can you. Do you have a recommendation for another therapist? She said, what do you need another therapist for? I said, baby, cause I need to find someone else because you're not working out for me. I told her straight up.

[Nicole Byer]

I really do love how honest you are.

[Luscious Nastica]

Well, it was. I mean, it was the truth. I can't believe I'm not gonna sit there and lie there.

[Nicole Byer]

To that woman, I think you're just so delightful.

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, but let me tell you, honesty's all is a double edged sword.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Luscious Nastica]

People who cannot tell themselves the truth, people who are running around always constant, living in a delusional fantasy, won't tell themselves the truth. We won't mix. Because the moment they sit in front of me and I tell Them the truth. It breaks their reality that they built for themselves. And then we are allergic. And then now they're allergic to me because I'm a little too honest and I'm calling them out. And yeah, I've had friendships where eventually I'm like, you know what, sweetheart? You're living in a delusional reality.

[Nicole Byer]

I've also had friendships where.

[Luscious Nastica]

And I can't do this with you.

[Nicole Byer]

What is this? Like you're saying shit and it doesn't make no sense.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah, what is this? Some people are stunt queens. They will just con artists and they live a whole fantastical fairy tale that is really very scary.

[Nicole Byer]

And I don't want a part of it.

[Luscious Nastica]

No, I can't do it. Cause you're wasting your time.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

You have to tell yourself the truth. You can't live.

[Nicole Byer]

I think so.

[Luscious Nastica]

You can't live just constantly lying to yourself because people are not stupid. The majority of people have eyes and they can see. They can see the truth. Bitch.

[Nicole Byer]

What's one of the worst hookups you've ever had?

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, my God. Well, honey, listen, in my profession, sweetheart. No, I've had. Listen, I've had men come in and then they steal my phone, jump out the window.

[Nicole Byer]

What?

[Luscious Nastica]

I had a man come over, fully give me the romantic experience, make me feel like a Barbie doll. And then as soon as the session was over, I was like, where's my phone? And he had my phone. I said, baby, you need to give me my phone. I went to my door and I got in front of my door and I said, sweetie, you cannot leave this apartment until you give me my cell phone. Tell me why he went and he jumped out the window. He opened the window and he just went out. Bitch left me shook, girl.

[Nicole Byer]

What do you do when that happens? What do you.

[Luscious Nastica]

I called my friends. I said, help.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm Celia.

[Luscious Nastica]

Sos. Someone help me. I'm a woman in peril.

[Nicole Byer]

That's a lot.

[Luscious Nastica]

And my friend came over. My roommate came over, opened the door, and he had already jumped out the window. But, you know, at that point I was like, honey, take the phone, sweetheart, take the phone. At this point, just don't take me.

[Nicole Byer]

I mean, if you jumping out of someone's window for the phone, you need that phone. You gotta get thee outta here.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That's wild.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah. It was like he was with me. He was enjoying the experience. But as soon as he came, he was like, what am I doing here? What did I just do? What is this? What is happening here?

[Nicole Byer]

I gotta take this Phone. I gotta go.

[Luscious Nastica]

Not of God.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh my God.

[Luscious Nastica]

Grabbed my phone and jumped out the window.

[Nicole Byer]

That's wild.

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, it happens to the girls all the time. Press the number one in the comments if the train has ever stolen from you, sweetie. Oh, I know it's happened to the girls. Let me tell you.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh my God. What other stories do you have?

[Luscious Nastica]

I live for this. Listen, I've had one time, same thing, I had this man. But you know, it's also. Back in those days out of. I didn't really respect myself. I was just letting these men come. I still do it from time to time. I was letting these men come over here and disrespect me, use me and not treat me in a godly way. And one time I had a man who as he was leaving, he tried to steal my television. Girl, the whole tv. He was like, I'm just gonna try. And I said, bitch, I had what? My cousin had just given me a wine bottle for my birthday. I grabbed that wine bottle and I broke it in his head. He started gushing blood and he ran out and I said, try it again, sweetie, try it again. And he ran out the house. Yep. Let me tell you, these men will get you.

[Nicole Byer]

I can't believe these people are stealing your electronics, treating you like a best friend.

[Luscious Nastica]

Honey, they. Sweetie, straight goodbye. The Black Friday special. You know what? My specials are better cause mine is zero percent off. I went to Black Friday. I went to Best Buy the Black Friday Friday. No sales.

[Nicole Byer]

Nobody had any sales. It was wild.

[Luscious Nastica]

They can't even give you any more discount at this point, honey, because the tariffs, the tariffs with everything, the recession, the depression, this country's going through it. The Black Friday sales were gone and non existent. And you know the people at the house, they're not even buying anything. Cuz there's no money right now for anyone to even buy a new tv.

[Nicole Byer]

I didn't buy anything on Black Friday. Usually I love those deals. I didn't buy a. I would go to Target on Black Friday. But we can't go to Target right now.

[Luscious Nastica]

We need to talk about what is going on collectively in this country. Because I think not only are we going through a recession and depression, I feel like people at home right now are genuinely. I don't know what generation, it's Gen Z or Gen X or millennials. I don't even know what all these generations, these people, no one has a job. No one is out there doing things that really satisfy them or fulfill them. The majority of people right now in this country are not making their dreams come true.

[Nicole Byer]

They're not. And people don't have hobbies anymore.

[Luscious Nastica]

But it's also making people feel very disillusioned with life. I have a lot of, like, family around me and friends that are a little bit younger than me. The majority of them are very depressed. The majority of them, if not all of the people that. The majority of the people that I know are thinking about suicide.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, God.

[Luscious Nastica]

They're like, yeah. People out there are really struggling right now because they don't find, like, what is my purpose? What is my purpose here on this planet? What am I supposed to be doing? There are no opportunities there. Not a lot of things are making me feel happy or fulfilled. I don't. You know? Like, it's. We as a society, we're setting up a lot of these younger kids. We're setting them up for failure. What are they gonna do 10, 15, 20 years from now when, bitch, there ain't no more crops. There ain't no more corn out there. There's no more bread out there. Bitch, what are the girls gonna do when there's no more food, there's no more gasoline? 20 years from now, there's no more gasoline. No, but it's the reality, like, collectively, the society right now, people are going through it.

[Nicole Byer]

And. And you. You said people. They don't have, like, a purpose. And I think it's interesting because I figured out my purpose rather early. It was, I like making people smile, right? So when I was working at Lane Bryant, I was making people smile at the checkout. I was making people smile in the fitting room. There was a. What is it? Scissor Sisters. It's a song. I don't feel like dancing, but Come on. Twice a day. And I would just dance down the aisles twice a day. The girls at first were like, she's a fucking weirdo. But you know what? A month or two in, they were like, there goes Nicole dancing again. Maybe I'll join in. I don't.

[Luscious Nastica]

Where do you think you got that from? Where you could access your joy no matter what you were going through?

[Nicole Byer]

My mother.

[Luscious Nastica]

Your mom.

[Nicole Byer]

My mom was such a vibrant, fun person. She had such a big laugh. She was always laughing. She always made people smile. Her. Her purpose in life was to. I would say, to make people feel seen. She had a filing cabinet of just, like, greeting cards. And they were categorized by whatever holiday or whatever the card was. And she would see somebody at church who was, like, not feeling their best. She would go in her little drawer the next Sunday would have a card for them to be like, I saw that you were down yesterday, and I thought that. Or last week, and I thought you might like this card. And she would.

[Luscious Nastica]

So sweet.

[Nicole Byer]

She would always do things.

[Luscious Nastica]

What a beautiful habit to have. That's really. You know, right now, during the holidays, I'm going through a period of my life right now where I'm accessing, like, I'm having a little bit of success, I'm doing okay financially, and I'm like, I am the. I'm realizing I am the magician of my life. Yes. And so right now that I have access to these things, I'm like. Like, I have to create magical moments, not only for myself, but for my family. And I have to, like, if I want to lead a romantic life, I have to bring romance to it. And so I went Christmas shopping and I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to buy this for my mom, but I need to go find something that makes her feel seen and makes her feel like a grand gesture. And so I went and I got some gifts, and then I went to this friend of mine who she does. She knows how to professionally gift wrap.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh. Oh.

[Luscious Nastica]

And then I was like, girl, make them big, big bows. Like, let's give the whole shebang. Give them the experience. But it's because I realized if you wanna have a charming life, you have.

[Nicole Byer]

To make it charming. Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

You are the magician. I am the magician in my life. And if I want magic and romance and all of these fantastical things, I have to be the one to create it and share it. And, you know, one day when I die, I wanna be able to say, oh, my God. He. She lived an eccentric, fantastical life, always doing these crazy, elaborate things. I'm like, it's not just gonna happen.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. You have to.

[Luscious Nastica]

The universe is not just gonna lay it in your lap. You have to be the one to create romance and to create adventure. We have to do it. So I realized I was like, bitch, I have to be the magician.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

I have to be the one.

[Nicole Byer]

And I love that to create these.

[Luscious Nastica]

Fantastical tales, it has to come from me. And your mom did that?

[Nicole Byer]

She did. She was a magician in her life with her magic.

[Luscious Nastica]

She spread it around. I would have loved to have met her. I mean, she sounds like a Kiki.

[Nicole Byer]

She was delightful.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

She was the person who I like. I grew up in the church, but I never. And I'm sure they preached about, like, how gay is wrong or whatever, but my mother accepted everybody and never treated anybody any differently. And that really, you know, filtered down to, like, me, where, like, I don't treat anybody different based on, like, who they love or whatever. It just feels so insane to me. Like, it's just so weird that what somebody does in their private life affects me.

[Luscious Nastica]

Like, no, it's because religion. I see, like, the church, right? I see religion as. It's like a big support group. And if you're doing good and if you know who you are, you're not. You're not gonna get bitter and you're not gonna get angry, and then you won't weaponize that. But there are people who go to church, and then through life, they get angry, they get miserable, they get unhappy. And then they use the church and religion. They weaponize it, and they use it as a weapon. But church, religion, God, all of these things, they're there to be helpful. They're there to make you feel supported, to make you feel seen so that you're not alone. There's so many people who go to church, and they're lovely people, and they can still love and see everyone, regardless if you're queer or not queer. But then there are other people who are just bitter and miserable.

[Nicole Byer]

Very, very.

[Luscious Nastica]

And they weaponize it. And then they use their God to tell you how much they don't like you, how much they don't see you, how much they don't respect you, how much they don't love you. And that's unfortunate because it gives it such a bad reputation. A lot of queer people, they don't feel seen or loved by religion or religion people. And we have a lot of trauma from it, too.

[Nicole Byer]

I mean, yes, absolutely.

[Luscious Nastica]

But, you know, I love when I go to, like, these major cities, like when you go to Dallas or Houston, and they have, like, these queer churches where they have all the rainbow flags outside the church. I'm like, I love that.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that, too.

[Luscious Nastica]

I love that they have that they give that space and that community. Cause some people do. A lot of queer people believe in God. A lot of queer people believe in God. And they want to feel loved and seen by God. But, you know, it's hard to find a welcoming and open space that allows them to go to church.

[Nicole Byer]

But it's also so wild. Cause, like, I grew up in the church, and, like, one of the first songs you learn is Jesus Loves the Little Children, all the little children of the World. And it's like, so why are there exceptions? Yeah, that's the song, right? That's the song. We're all singing. But now there's exceptions except for X, Y and Z. Mars, do you mind turning the air on? I'll turn it back on.

[Luscious Nastica]

I got a little warm, little powder.

[Nicole Byer]

I was like starting to get warm. I'm getting kind of hot.

[Luscious Nastica]

Air out here.

[Nicole Byer]

It was so cold earlier. And then I was like, I'm freezing. And now I'm like, oh my God, Look, it's January, it's cold. Brr. And it's dark. And if you're anything like me, you just want to be warm and cozy. But we also have to leave the house eventually. That's why you need to check out the clothes from Quince. Quince is the best place to refresh your wardrobe with those high quality staples that make you look pulled together. I'm talking 100% washable silk tops, Italian wool coats, and perfectly cut denim that you will actually want to wear every day. But the real NVP in my closet right now is my Quince Mongolian cashmere sweater sweater. It has kept me cozy all holiday season and I've been wearing it constantly and it's held up so well. And can you believe it only cost $50? I can only get it at that price point with Quince because Quince skips the middleman and works directly with ethical factories. You get that top tier quality for significantly less than other brands. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com date me for free shipping on your order and 365 day return returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com date me to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com date me so I love traveling and I love traveling with friends. So there's a group of us, there's four. And we were like, let's do something local, something we can drive to. So we were like, let's go to Joshua Tree because the thrifting is really good. And honestly, when I'm looking for a place to stay, I always book stay on Airbnb for trips with friends. Hotels just don't give us the space. I need. I am a grown woman. I need my own bedroom. And more importantly, I need a bathroom that is all mine. Nothing is worse than sharing a bathroom with your friends and having to do your business while someone is right outside the door waiting to brush their dang teeth. You cannot live your best life like that. And if you want to be sure you're booking the very best place, look for the guest favorites Badge. These are collection of the most loved homes on Airbnb. Chosen by who? The guests. It's like a stamp of approval that says you're gonna have a great time. Honestly, life is too short to be cramped. Next time you travel, book a home on Airbnb. What else has somebody tried to steal from you?

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, my God. Oh, okay. So recently, actually, maybe about two, three weeks ago, they. This man stole my. Which is like a small little detail, but still.

[Nicole Byer]

That's rude.

[Luscious Nastica]

He left me with no lube. He stole my lube.

[Nicole Byer]

Left too high and dry.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yes, straight up. He left me dry.

[Nicole Byer]

Honey, why are these men stealing from you?

[Luscious Nastica]

Well, these men are thieves. The majority, let me tell you. This goes back to society. The people are struggling out there. And these men, they wealth.

[Nicole Byer]

That's how we know we're in a recession. They're stealing the kyc.

[Luscious Nastica]

As the trade will come over, they'll pound you down. Then they steal your lube on the way out. That's when you know society. Society's struggling right now. These streets, it's hard out there in these streets.

[Nicole Byer]

My God, that's so wild. I can't. I simply couldn't fathom going to someone's home and then being like, nah, I'm gonna take that.

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, no, I. I already, like. I call it trade proofing. To the point where I'm like, okay, if I'm gonna have a hookup with someone that I'm meeting online, I need to make sure. Okay, all these lights are have to be off. Cause you don't wanna inspire them. You don't wanna inspire them to like, oh, they see a boombox over there.

[Nicole Byer]

Let me go.

[Luscious Nastica]

Let me go steal that. Oh, she's got a. She's got a. Let me go steal that. She's got a charger over here. Let me steal the charger. So I. When they walk in my house, I.

[Nicole Byer]

Turn the lights off so I don't inspire them.

[Luscious Nastica]

I try not to inspire these people. Let me tell you. Even, like when in my bedroom, in my boudoir, I have like, my perfumes, I will grab a little blanket and I put it over the perfumes so that I don't even. Out of sight, out of mind. Because if they see the perfumes, they're gonna steal my perfumes.

[Nicole Byer]

I just love thinking about your home before a hookup. Things are just draped over things and they're like, what is she painting something?

[Luscious Nastica]

It looks like an abandoned house.

[Nicole Byer]

It's happening.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yes. I put everything away so that they won't get Me. But even then, they'll steal the lube. They'll find something of value, and they're like, you know what? I'm gonna get this bitch. They will get. And that shows you the duality of man. They will come over and they will make you feel like a Barbie doll. But as soon as the session's over, they're like, you know what? What? I'm gonna get her. And they will steal from. They'll get you.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm gonna get her.

[Luscious Nastica]

Yeah. Yeah. Luscious.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you have advice for single people?

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, my God, yes. My advice to every single person out there is remember that you came to this planet and your only purpose in life is to love yourself. You did not come here to this planet to look for someone else to fall in love with you or to look for someone else to share your life. The only person you gotta share your life with is with yourself. So learn to love yourself. Take care of yourself every day. When you wake up. When I wake up, I think, what does Luscious need today, bitch? Today I need to make sure I drink some water. I need to hydrate today, bitch. Cause I can't just be drinking sodas and putting sugar in my body that's gonna destroy me. I gotta make sure I try to put sustenance in my body, put something. Nutrients in my body that are good for me. I can't just be running around eating burgers and pizza all day, bitch. Cause that's gonna kill me. Trust. So I gotta try to put something that's good for me. Put some greens in there. And make yourself sweat every day if you can. Sweating equals healing. I went on a health journey last year, and I lost £100.

[Nicole Byer]

Congratulations.

[Luscious Nastica]

Thank you. And it taught myself so much because before that, I was so unhappy. I was so depressed, and I was in a vicious circle of, like, all of my negative ideas. That was the only thing that had me in constant. I wasn't driving the car. I was in the trunk. My body was being driven by this negative doppelganger who was steering the car and everything. Like, just negativity and toxicity. Because I wasn't well. I wasn't taking care of myself. I wasn't paying attention. And when I started going on that journey, eventually I started trying to eat better. I started trying to make myself sweat every day, whether it was, go outside, go for a walk, try to connect with nature. You know, where you can see the clouds as you're walking or go to the gym. And it taught me that when you put things in Your body, you also have to throw it out. And when you sweat, it throws out those negative toxins. And the sugar. Sugar is poisonous.

[Nicole Byer]

Sugar is bad and I love it.

[Luscious Nastica]

And sugar is. It's so delicious.

[Nicole Byer]

It's so good.

[Luscious Nastica]

I love it. I can't put it down. But it's going to kill us.

[Nicole Byer]

It is bad.

[Luscious Nastica]

Oh, honey, it's gonna taste. It's gonna be the end of us, let me tell you. Sugar. But I realized, drink water every day. Try to put something healthy in your body and make yourself sweat. And if you focus on your self care, what you're really doing is you are seeing yourself, you are prioritizing yourself and you are loving yourself. And if you learn to really love yourself every day, you will not need no body, you will not need a man, you won't need anybody. You just need yourself. But once you become the fully realized, healed, best version of yourself, yourself, then you will gravitate that person who will be able to come and see you. And you will be healed enough to know your worth and know what you do deserve and what you don't deserve. That's another thing we need to know what we don't deserve.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. And that's a hard thing to understand.

[Luscious Nastica]

Because a lot of people are so deprived and desperate for love that they will allow people that they don't just treat them deserve into their life. It happens so much with the dolls and the girls where they let these men that are absolute trash, but just.

[Nicole Byer]

Because they are not paying affection, you got a little bit of attention.

[Luscious Nastica]

You're craving affection and you just let in all this trash to come over here and pound you down and steal your phone. Don't do it, little girl. Don't do it.

[Nicole Byer]

Don't do it. Luscious, thank you so much for being here.

[Luscious Nastica]

Of course. Thank you for having me.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you have anything you want to promote?

[Luscious Nastica]

Well, just my YouTube show, Dragvestigations on YouTube. You have. I just, you know, I run around and I. What I really do is I make people feel seen. That's what my YouTube show is about. And I make myself feel seen. And I try to always include the people that I feel like, baby, they are getting paid dust. Cause let me tell you, society will pay the girls dust.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Luscious Nastica]

But we do have the power to correct it and be like, look over here, look over here, look over here. Cause I'm tired of all these little skinny little pretty girls. They only give the skinny little pretty girls a shot. What about the big bitch?

[Nicole Byer]

What about the big bitch?

[Luscious Nastica]

What about the big bitch. Honey, we deserve it too. We deserve a piece of the pie too.

[Nicole Byer]

I agree.

[Luscious Nastica]

I like pie.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, do you have a New Year's resolution?

[Luscious Nastica]

A New Year's resolution, I think is just to overcome my fears more. You know, I'm always. I've achieved a state of fearlessness, but I want more. I want to dominate my fear even more. There are things that I want to do, and then sometimes I'm like, no, I can't do that. No, girl, you're. Who do you think you are? And then I just want to be like, no, bitch. What do you mean I deserve it? I love that I should do it.

[Nicole Byer]

Conquering your fear.

[Luscious Nastica]

Conquering your fears.

[Nicole Byer]

Another question.

[Luscious Nastica]

Would you date? Oh, my God. You know what? You know what? Let me tell you this, Let me tell you this. This is gonna be. The girls are gonna be shook at the house. I had an experience a couple months ago where I met this man. I was at a party and he came up to me with his wife. And him and his wife, they both told me they liked me.

[Nicole Byer]

Uh huh.

[Luscious Nastica]

And so, so in the moment, I was like, ni amor, you are. So I told her, I said, you are so beautiful. I love your dress. You are. I just, you know, I'm not attracted to women. So I kind of like. I told him I wasn't interested. Later, in retrospect, I thought I should have done it. I should have done it because that woman, she might have shown me a kindness and affection and she might, she might have showed me a good time and I might have enjoyed myself. So I. In retrospect, later, I said I should have done it because you just never know what experience it would have been like with me being there with her husband and her. And it opened me up to say, yes, I would. I absolutely would. Because you just never know. Sometimes people, you just have to open yourself up and you never know, you might be surprised and you might find so much trouble.

[Nicole Byer]

Joy, conquer that fear and eat that.

[Luscious Nastica]

Absolutely.

[Nicole Byer]

Thank you so much for being here.

[Luscious Nastica]

So much fun. What a kiki.

[Nicole Byer]

If you like this episode, you can like it, you can rate it, you subscribe, you can be 5 stars on Apple podcasts. And if you write me something nasty, hitting on me to why won't you date me? Podcast, mail.com. keep them short. I'll read it. This person writes, Hi, Nicole, I hope this does it for you. I'll take you out to the Sizzler. Both of us in matching purple outfits to enjoy their delectable salad bar. Watching them toss that salad to get me in the mood to toss yours, winky face. You'll invite me to sample each salad dressing by sucking them off your fingies. And then I'll hastily follow up with some wet wipes to save you from a sensory upset. After dinner, I'll whisk you off to a surprise location on my motorcycle. You're delighted to find that the rub of the hog makes your pussy start to drip with excitement. I take you to a theater where I lead you on stage and bury my face deep in that juicy pussy. Just as you begin to scream with pleasure, the curtain rises and the ultimate improvisers are there to witness your big finale. We continue the show for them while they put on a show for us, acting out every episode opener you've ever uttered until all of us have not had a single drop of cum left to give. Then I scoop up all of your treasures made out of cum and save them to adorn your charm necklace. And with that, skip happily home from Dana. Thank you, Dana. Goodbye. That was a headgum podcast.