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Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.
B
This is a headgum podcast who question people about their body.
A
Yes.
B
And the first question is, does your back hurt? It's never, hey, how you doing? I swear to you. People come up to me. It's not even a hey, how you doing? They'll look, does your back hurt? So if I tell you. Yeah, what are you gonna do?
A
Yeah, are you gonna give me some money for a chiropractor? What are you gonna. Why do you need to know?
B
My back doesn't hurt. And if it did, I can go downsize. I paid for this.
A
Yes, that is.
B
I literally paid for this.
A
You want it to look like that.
B
So any moment that it start giving me problems, hey, doctor, let's downsize. It's either, does your back hurt? Or are they real? Those are two questions that everyone wants to know. They don't want to know my name. They don't want to know how I'm doing. They don't want.
A
They don't want to know how I'm doing.
B
They don't want to know. Those are only two questions that they
A
asked me, you guys. I find as I get older, it's getting harder and harder to actually wrangle my friends. Everyone is busy. Half of them are in relationships. The group chat is a mess, and our schedules never line up. So when we finally get a weekend on the calendar to go to Palm Springs, I am not wasting it. When time is precious with my friends, a hotel room just doesn't cut it. I want us to really live together for the weekend, not be sequestered in little hotel rooms. That's why I always look to book a home on Airbnb. I love to have a full kitchen to make our cocktails and our weird girl dinners. I need a private pool and a hot tub all to ourselves. And a gorgeous property with a view where we could take really cute pictures. Why book a room when you can have a whole property? And what's great about Airbnb is they have a list of guests favorites. It's a badge on the app that shows the highest rated and most loved homes. It takes the guessing game out of it. If it has a badge, I know it's gonna be cute, I know it's reliable, and I know we're gonna have a good time. So the next time you travel, book a home on Airbnb to maximize your experience. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won' date Me. Please tell me why. Ooh, baby. Welcome to another episode of why Won't yout Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come in my mouth and tell me it's a tooth implant. My guest today is a showgirl, drag performer, and NP entertainer known as the Body from Dragula Season five and winner of Hot House Season one. She's hosting the new show DIY Dungeon now out on out tv. I'm so excited. I have followed her on Instagram for a very long time. It's Fantasia Royale. Gaga.
B
Hello. Hello.
A
I am so excited you're here.
B
Thank you for having me.
A
Thank you for doing it. I. I love your titties. I love them so much.
B
They love you too, my love.
A
As a small, tittied girl, I love big, luscious boobs. Okay, tell me about your journey and how you decided to get them so big and voluptuous.
B
Okay. So growing up, I have aunts that have really big boobs, but of course, they're not as plastic looking as these. You know, they're long to the ground. But honestly, when I first started getting into doing drag and seeing, like, the other trans women and stuff, I remember there was this one trans woman named Sasha Valentino. And during that time, to me, those were big. Like, looking back now, they were like, oh, they wasn't really that big. But I would always say, oh, I want my breasts that big. But of course, during that time, you don't know how the hell you're gonna get them that big. So I started taking hormone therapy and I had my hormone breasts. And then once I moved to Miami. Ooh. It was on. That's when the madness started.
A
It's the madness.
B
I moved to Miami. I started working on south beach, honey. And I started, you know, being able to afford my surgeries and do what I wanted to do. And that's when it started. I got the first set, and because I had started getting, like, silicone injections in my breasts, so I had, like, a pretty nice size D with that. Um, so when I got my first set of implants, the doctor had to put a big implant in it in order to fill it out. 840ccs.
A
I don't know what that means.
B
So that's pretty big.
A
What is the, like, the going rate of ccs? What's, like, a standard cc?
B
It depends on your body. It depends on your body. Like, some girls. Some women have 400, some women have 600. It depends on your body 800. But because I had so much flesh, he had to put a bigger implant. And that started the madness. And I mean, from there I'm like, okay, I love these. I wanna go a little bigger. And then I say, I wanna go a little bigger. And then I start following, like, all the girls and women that have big implants. And then I just became so intrigued. And I've always wanted to look, you know, pretty exotic. So that's kinda like how I got here. And then these are 3400 ccs in each.
A
3400.
B
3400. Oh, Lord.
A
Good Lord. Do you have, like, a corset inside of you?
B
Inside? So I have an internal bra. So I go to Dr. Revis in Fort Lauderdale, and he specialized. He's the only doctor in the United States. I think that that does that. But, yeah, he put an internal bra because they're so big, they need some support. So, yeah, so this is my second set by him. The first set he did was 2,400. And then I went up 1,000 to 3,400.
A
I love it so much.
B
I used to want bigger, but I did.
A
You did.
B
But these are when I went on botch.
A
I was like, oh, I just noticed your shirt.
B
So I love my graphic shirts. But this one I love the most because I'm like, stop asking me stupid ass questions. Like, I get that all the time. Like, are they real? I'm like, no, no, no. I was born a man, honey. Black chest. Hell no, they not real. Like, come on, get with the program. So I get to ask that question a lot. So I love to get my little graphic shirts to kind of reflect on.
A
I love it so much stuff that people ask me, how many surgeries have you had? I'm so intrigued by this because if I. I don't know if. If life was different, I would do it. I would get big old honking titties. I'd get a big old ass. I would do it.
B
Um, let's see. Ooh. I've had a lot of surgeries. Um, I've had. Okay, let me just kind of go down the list and then we can kind of put it together. I've had six rhinoplasties.
A
Okay.
B
I've had liposuction done three times.
A
Where?
B
In my stomach and in my back. I've had a orcheotomy done, which is like castration, where they chop your balls off. I've had two facial feminizations. I've had my body done a lot of times because I Got silicone. Because during the time of me getting my body done, my lower half. Bbls wasn't as popular then.
A
It was more about silicone injections.
B
So all of my body is that. So I went a lot of times to get it to where it is now.
A
Now do you like, if you do corrective things, do you remove the silicone or are we just adding on top of it?
B
So I haven't done any corrective things to my lower half yet. But I do want to get a touch up. But not with silicone.
A
Okay.
B
Say no to silicone.
A
Say no to silicone.
B
There's so many avenues now to go. A lot of girls, they always ask me like, hey, I want to get my body done. Can you hook me up with the pump doctor? And I'm like, first of all, I don't even know who does it now. It's been a minute since I've went. The person that did me, she doesn't do it anymore. And just go get a bbl. Just go get a bbl. But I do want some touch ups and I think that what I'm gonna do like a BBL on top of it. But it's a doctor that specialize with silicone and you know, bbls the right way.
A
See, that's good advice to be like, go to someone who specializes in this, who knows what they're doing.
B
That's what I always tell people. Yeah, I always tell people like, go to a person that's a person that specializes in that. Cause so many people try to go the cheap route or try to do it black market. And then they say you're up. And then now you got to pay so much money to get it all, to get it all fit. So just go to the right person, honey.
A
I agree. Yeah, so we're gonna do a BBL on top of the bbl. I love this.
B
Down the line. Let touch up, you know, so I've been gaining weight. I hate it. I hate it.
A
Because you have to gain weight so they can harvest the fat.
B
Because if you take away the boobs and my body, I'm still a little skinny person, you know, So I have to like gain weight in order to do it. And I hate it.
A
I would have so much fun. I love eating. Oh my God. I would just be eating like milkshakes and french fries. Oh, it would have such a time. Oh, my God.
B
My problem is late night and because of my work schedule, I get out like 2, 3 in the morning. I go eat a whole full Korean barbecue meal at 4:00 in the morning in Vegas. It's 24 hours.
A
See, that's lovely.
B
That's a lovely love for me. Lord.
A
Ooh. And then you go to sleep nice and full. And then you go, ooh, I got heartburn.
B
Oh, my God. You wake up and you're just like, what the hell did I do?
A
What did I do?
B
I guess it's Tuesday's night. You do it again, but this time it's the taco shop.
A
Oh, what a treat. I love that. Oh, just go like just around the
B
world, just eating at 4:00am yes.
A
Are you on the apps at all and are you like looking to be in a relationship or are you just like happy being single?
B
So I'm single as hell. Single as fuck. As a tolerance, single and meek. Okay, so here's the situation with me, okay? I'm not on the apps. The only app that I do download here and there is Grindr, okay? And it's so funny because I use Grindr like I use Instagram and Facebook and stuff. I like to get on there and, you know, just look at all the pictures and all the stupidity and that the guys send me, like they're so thirsty on there. Every now and then I might talk to someone and we have a great conversation and we might hook up. But other than that, I like the old school part of dating. I like being out, okay? I like the spontaneous things. I like being out and then we talk and we meet and, you know, we go out on dates and stuff like that. I like that better than like being on the apps. And you got to talk to the same. You got to have the same conversation with every person. That gets so time consuming and just. I'm like, I don't have time for that. So I really don't have the dating apps. It's been since 2013 because during those years I've changed a lot. Personally, physically, mentally, financially. So even though I wanted to be in a relationship and I wanted love, it wasn't time for that. You know, I had to. I feel like I couldn't fully commit and give myself to someone until I was fully sure of where I wanted to go and where I wanted to be in life. So I've dated throughout the years. I've had some amazing dates with some amazing guys, but just nothing.
A
Yeah, just nothing stuck.
B
Yeah. Because I like for me being a very exotic looking person, I have to get past the fact of do you really want me or you just with me as a fetish or you just with me as. Because of how I look or like what I have below. Like, what's really the reason why? Are you really with me?
A
That must be very hard.
B
It is, it is. So like, I just, I'm happy with being single.
A
Okay.
B
Every now and then I get into my little sadness of like, am I gonna be single for the rest of my life? Is somebody gonna want me for my imperfections or like for like just to look past how I look? But I feel like when it comes, I'll know it. I don't know. I think you will. I'll get that feeling, you know, you'll have that feeling and they would show it. They would have some compassion, they would have some understanding about, like. And I don't want. The thing is, I like trans attracted men. Rather they are queer or rather they are straight presented.
A
Okay, so you like men who love trans women. That's what they love to date?
B
Yes.
A
Okay.
B
I don't like. I don't like men who's. I'm the first. Who. I'm their first girl. Yes. Why? Because you're gonna always want more. You're always, you're gonna always be looking for more. I'm gonna be the one to introduce you. And then after that you're gonna want to explore.
A
Yes.
B
So go explore.
A
Once you pop, you can't stop, right?
B
Go explore. Go have some relationships. Go, you know. And I don't like a chaser. See, there's a big difference from being attracted to trans women and being a chaser. I can't stand a fucking chaser. Okay, A chaser just, you know.
A
And what is the difference to you?
B
A chaser is somebody that just won't just want everything. I mean like, everything. Like you see them in a club, they on me, they on this one, they own that one, they own that one. Anybody that got a wig on there, they just like, they're just on everybody. I'm like, baby, get the fuck out my face, please. Like they already know. Don't even come up to me. Cause the look that I give them, I wish you would like, those are chasers. They just want everybody. Like they don't have no type of standards.
A
And you want somebody with standards who like, I want somebody who is like, oh my God, this is something I really like.
B
Yes, I want standards. And if it's not that, I don't want to be bothered with it. So there's a big difference. I like trans attracted men, but I don't like tracers.
A
Okay, yeah, that is a little hard because you gotta do a little Bit of digging to figure out.
B
You do.
A
Are you actually here for the right reasons?
B
Yeah. And the approach most times are where you know it this way, you know it, like, how they approach you. Yeah, the conversation. Like, the first thing you wanna know about is my gentle, like, soon as we started talking or, like, want to know, like. Like, what I have, you know, that's right there. That, like, you just. You fetishizing, but also fetish.
A
Fetishizing. Fetishize. Fetish. Oh, my God, I get so tough. Fetishizing. Look, fetishizing.
B
There we go.
A
Fetishizing. That's tough.
B
You know what I'm saying? Y' all know what I'm saying?
A
But also just, like, social cues. Don't ask somebody that. That's just rude.
B
Who does that.
A
It's not your business. Until we're in the bedroom.
B
Until we're in the bedroom. So that right there, I know that, like, you just looking at me as a fetish or like, you're chatt and you just in it for the sets and all that kind of stuff. If I want it for the sets, trust me, I'll get it.
A
You could go get it.
B
I could get it.
A
Since being on, like, Dragula and Hot House has, like, your DMs been, like, full of people hitting on you.
B
I would say, like, Hot House. Not really, Dragula, because Hot House was a sets positivity, Sets positive show. You know, you have your little freaky guys that, you know, they see that and they're like, oh, and this and, oh. Like, even with the new show that I'm on, DIY Dungeon, because I'm on there with a really popular porn star, I get so many DMs. Like, did y' all fuck? Like, are y' all having, like, is it good? Like, I'm like, is it good? What the hell? That's my friend. I don't even see him like that. Like, I don't know. Go messenger. It's also your co worker, right? It's my coworkers. I don't look at him like that. But, yeah, but with Dragla, no, I get more inboxes, like, of people about drag. Questions of, like, young trans women, you know, that are trying to become entertainers. Or, like, I get those type of inboxes from, like, Dragula, but yeah, from Hot House and, like, DIY Dungeon, for sure. Little freaks. Little freaks.
A
Real quick, we gotta take a break. We do not talk about this enough, but eating disorders are way more common than you think. And they don't always look the way some people expect them to look. Sometimes it's constant dieting, feeling ashamed of how you eat, or being super rigid about exercise. Sometimes it's just that loud, annoying voice in your head that never lets you feel okay in your own body. You don't have to keep living with that voice if you're ready for things to feel different. Meet Equip Equip is a virtual eating disorder treatment program that meets you exactly where you are, whether you're juggling work relationships, family drama. With Equip, you get a full team of experts, a therapist, a dietitian, a medical provider, and a mentor with lived experience. Equip treats people of all ages, identities, bodies and backgrounds. It's covered by most insurance plans, and bless them, there's no wait list, so you can start asap. If you've been thinking maybe I should get some help, this is your sign. Visit equip.health/date me to learn more. That's Equip Health Slash Date Me. Oh boy. Scams are completely out of control right now, and you need to pay attention. Did you know we actually had scammers out there on social media pretending to be my podcast, trying to charge people money to be a guest on the show? That would never happen, by the way I pay all of my guests. But scams like these are getting smarter by the day, and you have to protect yourself and your money. That's what's so great about Cash App. Your security deserves to be a priority, and Cash App treats it that way. With Security Lock, Cash App requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. It's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard, even if your phone is lost or stolen. Plus, if you're about to send money to someone new and Cash App notices something looks a bit off or that you might be falling for a scam, it sends you a warning before the money is sent to confirm that everything looks right. Turn on Security, lock in your Cash App settings today and pay attention to scam warnings to keep your money safe. Learn more at Cash App Slash Security For a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use the code SECURED10 in their profile at signup, and send $5 to a friend within terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's Banking Partners Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. Brand. Visit cash app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Listen Since I'm in my domestic cozy era. I have been staring at my home realizing it needs a good spring refresh. My space has to work for me, not against me. I need more room for the nice man in my life, which means I need better storage. But I still want it to cute and work with my home. That's why I go straight to Wayfair. Wayfair has a massive selection and makes it ridiculously easy to find exactly what fits your needs and style. I personally love a loud, eclectic piece with thousands of options. On their site, I can find the exact fun thing I need that fits my space perfectly. You do not have to guess if something is good because you can read thousands of five star reviews from people who've already bought it. Plus, they offer fast shipping and assembly services. You can literally just click a button and have someone else put it together for you. Which is the only way I'm buying furniture from now on. Find furniture, decor and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfarer.com right now to shop all things home. That's W a y f a I-r.com Wayfair Every style, every home. DIY Dungeon is a show where you are just like revamping people's dungeons.
B
So Joey Mills bought a house and the house have a basement.
A
Yes.
B
And he turned his basement into a dungeon. So his dad is a real contractor. Contractor. And he helped us build his dungeon and then we had all kind of sponsors and stuff that sponsored like the set swing and like this and that and that. So yeah, we literally the whole show is about us turning his dungeon into his basement and me being a dom and him being a sub and him growing out of his twink face and yeah, it's a really, really funny show.
A
I haven't watched it yet, but I'm so excited.
B
It's funny as hell. Yeah, it's funny and it's a lot of the stuff that we do on there. That's why people are like hitting me up like, did y' all have sex for real? I'm like, baby, it's a telling. It's a reality show, girl. Get out the clouds.
A
What is like the number one thing you need for a dungeon? Like what do you think is something that is like a non negotiable that this absolutely has to be in a dungeon?
B
St. Andrew's Cross.
A
Okay.
B
St. Andrew's Cross, honey. For sure.
A
Okay.
B
Got to have that.
A
I love it. Takes up a little bit of space. But you gotta have it.
B
But you gotta have it.
A
Are you a dom in real life or was that just for the show?
B
I'm mostly a dom. Ooh. I have my submissive ways, but I like to be a dom.
A
And what kind of dom things are you into? Are you into spanking? Are you into. Yeah, what are you into?
B
I'm just. I'm into control.
A
Oh, okay.
B
Yeah, I like to be in control at that. How can I say this? Not until, like, I'm not into, like, the. The. The physical part, like, spanking and stuff.
A
Okay.
B
I'm just more of, like, the dom that, like to. To be in control, that likes to be the boss. Ah.
A
I'm a top. Just tell me what to do.
B
Yeah, that's me. Verbally. I like being a verbal dom.
A
Ooh. I like that. I see that and I like it.
B
Absolutely. It comes out often.
A
So you said what you didn't want in a relationship, you don't want a chaser. What are your green flags? Like, what are you. You're looking for someone who, like, really, really wants you. What else are you looking for?
B
I'm looking for, like, I love date night. I love people who love date. I love guys who love date night. What's your love language? Um. That's crazy, because I. It's not really hard to impress me.
A
Okay.
B
I don't know. People get this misconception of, like, they think, oh, we gotta take her to somewhere fancy and all that. I've done that so much. I do that for myself. So, like, for me, it's not all about that. Like, I am down for just going to a picnic. Going, like, to the mountains. Lana. Like, I just. I went on a date in Vegas last year, and we went up to Mount Charleston, and that's what we did. We, you know, he surprised me. He put out a sheet. We had our little snacks and stuff, and we just sat there and we talked and talked and talked and, like, you know, puff, puff and talked. And that was amazing. So it depends. Like, I like it all. Like, I like that type of date night. I like the fancy stuff. I like someone who loves to travel.
A
Okay.
B
Because I love to travel.
A
Travel.
B
I like to explore the world. I think that that's one of the most important things that you can do in this lifetime is get out and see what the world offers. I like someone that loves to travel, and I like someone that's just sure of who they are. Like, because I know who I am and I'm sure of that. But I like a guy that knows what they want and knows. Know how to Handle that, you know?
A
Yes.
B
And I like. Like I said earlier, I like a guy that loved me for my imperfections, because I'm not a perfect person. Nobody, even though nobody is even may look at her like, oh, my gosh, she's so perfect. I'm like, no, I'm not. No, I'm flawless. Hell, you know, we all are.
A
We all are. We're all that hoobasting song. I'm not a perfect person.
B
Right. And just someone that. That. That loves me for. For who I am.
A
And they kind of have to be a little bit independent. Because you work at night. Like, the nights are.
B
Oh, well, that's. That's. That. That's the main thing. Like, I'm glad you said that because, like. Yes. You have to understand my. My lifestyle, my work, you know?
A
Yeah.
B
And I think that's another thing with guys. They don't understand my work. When they hear. They're like, I'm a showgirl and like, this and this, they automatically think, oh, you're out there, like, all these guys messing with all these guys, or you're chasing these guys, or, like, you going to work and you got all these guys touching all over you and all that. I'm like, that's not how it works. But you have to understand, and I think that that's too. That's a major, major thing for them, understanding my. My work, my job, you know, my career.
A
They also have to be, I would think, very secure because you are such a big personality, and you are, like, the center of attention when you walk into a room. Have you ever dated anyone who had a problem with that? Who, like, didn't like that you get so much attention?
B
Yes, a few guys. And that's what cut it. I'm like, oh, okay. Like, that's how I met you. That's how I met you. But now you don't like it, and
A
now you don't like it.
B
And I'm like, well, this is my career. It's not changing. Now, don't get me wrong. I know how to go to work, and I know how to be respectful. Respectful of my partner or whoever I'm dating at the time. I'm not gonna be letting people rub all over me and let people disrespect my partner. If I'm walking, I'm not gonna be flirting with people or, like, you know, like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm a very respectful person. But also, we're having a good time. It's my job.
A
Your job is party.
B
My Job is party. My job is to be out. My job is to be, like, seen to be the life of the party and stuff like that. So, yeah, you have to be very secure to be with me. I don't like an insecure person, period. It's like, take those insecurities somewhere else.
A
Go to a therapist.
B
Adult, like, please go to a therapist.
A
You know, let's work on you.
B
Yeah.
A
Are there ever days where you don't want attention? Because, like, you. You have such a look.
B
But, like, I'm so glad you asked that because. Oh, there's so many days where I don't want it, but it comes with the territory, you know, like, for instance, like, going to the airport. The measures that people go to take a picture of me. Oh, is wild as fuck now.
A
Are they taking pictures with you or just of you?
B
Of me? Ooh, of me. Like, girl, it is fucking insane. So, like, yeah, it's like, I can go with a big jacket on, a big hoodie on. But I mean, like, they still.
A
It's hard to hide.
B
It's hard to hide. And not that I'm trying to hide it, but sometimes when I don't want to be bothered with all that, I try to, like, sometimes it's.
A
Cover up a little more. Get on the plane.
B
Yeah. So there are days that I don't want the attention, but it comes with the territory. So all I could do is kind of like, just deal with it.
A
How do you deal with it? Do you ever say, if you want a picture, we can take a picture? Or you're just like, whatever you want.
B
I would rather that come to me and say, hey, can we take a picture? I would take the picture with you. Trust me, I will. But follow me around the stores. Follow me around, like, the airport and stuff with the camera to take a picture of me. Like, I've had people follow me all the way to my gate, and then they do it so weird. Like, they have the camera and they point it right towards you and all that. I'm like, I see so many things in the airport that I'm like. You know, in the back of my head, I'm like, ooh, ooh. But not one time are you gonna see me follow someone throughout the airport and try to take a picture of it.
A
It's weird.
B
It's weird. Somebody's gonna get the shit slapped out of there one day. Because there's boundaries.
A
There are boundaries.
B
And I am a human being. I'm a per. Like, I'm a human being. Like, who does that? Did your mom teach you respect?
A
Yeah.
B
Like, who does that? I would never. My mom would slap the shit out of me if I. If I told her I did something like that or she see me doing something like that.
A
People aren't raised right.
B
They're not raised right.
A
I don't understand why people. So if you see something that's interesting to you or you've never seen it before, children will just come up and ask a question. So I'm like, if a child can do it, why can't you?
B
Yeah, but then also, I'm like, who question people about their body?
A
Yes, that too. Yeah. Why do you have to. Why?
B
And the first question is, does your back hurt? It's never, hey, how you doing? Does your. I swear to you, people come up to me. It's not even a hey, how you doing? They'll look, does your back hurt? So if I tell you. Yeah, what are you gonna do?
A
Yeah, you gonna give me some money for a chiropractor? What are you gonna. Why do you need to know?
B
My back doesn't hurt. And if it did, I can go downsize. I paid for this.
A
Yes, that is.
B
I literally paid for this.
A
You want it to look like that.
B
So any moment that it start giving me problems. Hey, doctor, let's downsize. It's either, does your bike hurt? Or are they real? Those are two questions that everyone wants to know. They don't want to know my name. They don't want to know how I'm doing. They don't want to know.
A
They don't want to know how I'm doing.
B
They don't want to know shit. Those are the only two questions that they asked me.
A
That's wild. That's so wild that people. I don't know, I just. I see things all the time where I go, oh, wow, that's crazy. And then I move on.
B
Me too. I go, okay, well, I saw that. Me too.
A
That was a nice time.
B
Me too. Or I might text my friend, like, oh, girl, you know, like, I saw this.
A
Yes.
B
I would never just text a friend. I would never follow someone around to take a picture of them.
A
People are weird. Don't do that.
B
Weird ass people, please don't do that. Because one day you're gonna catch me on the wrong day, and trust me, I will clear you.
A
Slap. What's one of your worst dates?
B
I went on a date with this guy in Vegas, and we went to the Golden Tiki, which is like a bar. We get there and, like, we're talking and the whole Time. Like, I ordered a cocktail, but he's practicing sobriety, and the whole conversation was about his sobriety. And I felt so weird because I'm standing there with the coffee.
A
You're like, mm, yes, you're sober. Okay, great.
B
Which I don't mind that. Like, kudos to people for partners and practicing sobriety. I love that. I love that. But the whole date was about that.
A
Yeah. That's kind of tough. Yeah, it's tough. It's like, maybe you mention it once, and then you gotta move on.
B
Yeah.
A
Find a common interest.
B
Yeah, I blocked him. He's blocked. My block list is long, long. I don't have the patience.
A
I get that.
B
I will block you in a minute. You can say, hey to me, Rowan, I'm blocked.
A
Hey, with too many E's. No, you can.
B
You can hit me up too many times. Blah. Like, I'm good at blocking.
A
What's another bad date?
B
One time, this guy, he had bad hygiene. That's. That's one of my pet peeves.
A
And what do you mean by bad hygiene?
B
Like, he was stank as hell. No, like, we hug, and it's just. Like, it overwhelms. Very overwhelming. Ooh, powerful. Yeah. I'm like, you know what? After this date, you need to go take a bath.
A
Did you say this?
B
No, I didn't. But in my head, that's what I was thinking. I'm like, oh, like, I'm good.
A
Yeah, I don't need this stink. Stank stunk. I don't need it.
B
I'm trying to think. I've had a lot of bad dates, but, yeah, those are, like, two that I could say that stick out for right now.
A
And then. So you went on the date where you. You had a picnic. You were smoking a little weed. What's another good date that you've been on?
B
I would think one of the magical dates that I went on. So in, like, 2017, I had just got my passport. I was going to Canada, to Toronto. And I'm sitting at a gate, and this guy approached me, and we just started, like, having conversation. So we just sitting there talking, talking, talking. Great combo. They say, you know, they call our the flight, and we're on the same flight. So kind of found out that he lived in Toronto. So the whole time on a plane, we're texting. We sat differently. We're texting everything. So we get to Toronto. He showed me how to, you know, get downtown to my hotel and everything. And then he asked, can he take me on a date? It was my first time being around snow, being in snow. So the night that he took me out, it was snowing and he took me to this restaurant and it was so beautiful.
A
It was so romantic.
B
Just the way that he treated me. I want to say like that was like one of the first time that I actually been on a date with a guy and he treated me like, with so much respect and like opening the doors for me and like pulling the chairs out for me and like holding my hand and like standing on the correct side of the road and like it was snow and it was so magical that I would never end up. And him and I, we actually kind of kicked it off and like we were like friends with benefits for a few years. I thought that it was actually gonna be something serious between us because like we dated a lot, we went on dates a lot.
A
Was it the long distance? That was a little too much.
B
I think that played a major part in it. And I think a little bit of jealousy too with him. Yeah. So I end up just kind of like cutting it off with him. It was, it was very emotional because I was emotionally attached to him and it was, I think it was on both ends. Cause he was that. He was that person that like we would go on amazing dates. Like he would take me to like his, to his job dinners. I would meet the people like on his job. I met all his best friends, all of his co workers. We would do like swingers stuff together. Like he was the first person that I went to like a swinger club, a swinger event with and stuff. So it was really, really nice. It was really nice. I wish that something could have happened out of it, but it didn't.
A
And sometimes that happens. Sometimes people are in your life for a season and I think he was in your life for a season to show you that you can be treated like a queen.
B
Yeah.
A
And you don't have to accept anything less.
B
Anything less. So with that, that's like, if you're not gonna treat me like that, I don't want it.
A
Uh huh.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. The nice man in my life currently has taught me like a standard of how I should be treated. And if we part ways, I hope we don't. But if it happens. Cause life happens. I now know if I, you know, get back out there and date again, that I have to be treated with a level of respect. I have to be treated with a level of care. And you gotta be nice and give me things.
B
Yeah. So for instance, like another, another guy that I had like an ongoing. He Is he's an ex police officer, and then he's in the military, and we also kicked it off really well. But the thing with him is, he is so he don't have any personality. Oh, he doesn't have any personality. And I mean, like, we go on dates. I'm the only one that's talking the whole time, and it's like, oh, my God. Like, I like you so much, and I'm trying to make this work, and I tried to over the years, and I'm just like, you know what? Blah, blah, blah. I don't think this is gonna work. Like, I need some personality, you know, that's hard. You can't be opposites. We can be opposites. Cause I don't mind that either, but at least have some personality.
A
Yes. Because you can't be the only person carrying a conversation.
B
I need somebody I could vibe with. Yes. Like, someone that I can actually talk about different topics with. And we can, like, actually vibe off that. Like, if we can't, it's boring. I'm sorry.
A
And then I was just like, what are we doing?
B
Yeah.
A
It's almost like I could just do this at home in my mirror.
B
Yeah, absolutely.
A
Do you have any advice for single people?
B
Stay single until you know it's right. Like, I can't stand people that get into these relationships for, like, two weeks. And then they say, you know, they like, girl, just stay single. Girls and boys, just stay single until you meet. Need someone that you know has your best interest at heart.
A
I like that. I like that a lot. I think we'll get more into it.
B
Okay.
A
After this break. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Okay, let's talk about health care for a second. It's not just a job. It is a whole calling. It takes a special kind of person to do it.
B
It.
A
But I think a lot of us get stuck in that, like, dreaming phase. And if you're sitting there thinking, I really want to be a nurse, or I really want to take my nursing career to the next level, but you're scared to make the jump, stop sitting on that feeling. You need the right people in your corner. And it starts with Chamberlain University. They have been preparing healthcare professionals for over 135 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, they actually have the resources to support you, you. And look, they know you have a life outside of school. That's why they have fully flexible options, whether you need online classes, hybrid learning, or evening and weekend schedules. Plus, classes start every eight weeks. So you can start when it works for you. They build a program around your life so you don't have to quit your job just to chase your dream. So stop waiting for someday. Learn more at Chamberlain Eduardo Chamberlain University Belong to something greater. Certified to operate by Shiv. You guys know I love a look. I love to be loud and fun with my fashion. But lately I am all about quality over quantity when it comes to the staples in my closet. If a piece is not well made and versatile enough to wear on a date or just running errands, it is simply not worth my time. That's why Quince is amazing. They make these beautiful wardrobe staples using premium fabrics like 100% European linen, pure silk, and crisp organic cotton poplin. And you're not paying for a crazy brand markups because Quince works directly with safe ethical factories to cut off the middleman. It's just quality clothing built to hold up season after season. Their cotton cashmere sweater has become my go to. It's light enough for layering, but it still feels so luxurious against my skin. And it did not cost anywhere near what I thought quality cashmere cost Right now. Go to Quince.com Jamie for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Q U I n c e.com dateme for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com date me. We're back. So you're like, stay single until you like, meet someone that you like, really feel something with. Do you think when you're single you should be like working on yourself?
B
Well, yeah. So. So basically that's what I was saying like over the last. But over the last 10 plus years, that's what I was doing. I was working on myself. I wanted to make myself happy. Because if you can't make yourself happy, if you're not happy with yourself, how can you give your happiness or share your happiness with someone else? And so that's basically what I did. And now I'm happy with myself and I'm happy with what I created. And now, you know, when that time comes, I could feel like I can fully commit to someone, but I'm gonna stay single. I would go on dates. We can date a little and have a little fun, little friends with benefits, but other than that, nothing serious.
A
I like that. I think that's so smart because have fun, date. Maybe something will happen. But like, if you just focus on yourself, you'll be ready for when that something happens. I had gotten to that point where I was like, yeah, I'm okay being single. I like this person, and hopefully I'll meet somebody. And then I did, and I was like, oh, that's nice.
B
Yeah. And when I feel like I get. Like, when I feel like I get lonely or I feel like I need to fill that void, I go on a trip.
A
Yes.
B
Take myself out. Realize that, oh, child, I can do this by myself. I go book a trip out the country or, you know, I have amazing friends. I must say that. Hey, friends. I have some amazing friends. That.
A
And that's important.
B
Yeah.
A
Friendships are, I think, some of the most important relationships that you can have.
B
Absolutely.
A
As long as you have someone that you can, like, call and be like, girl, oh, I'm a little lonely. You want to come over? You want to come over and cuddle with me? Yes.
B
I'd be like, oh, I'm coming over your house, or let's go do this. Or, you know, like, I have some amazing friends where I can do that. So they kind of help me when it comes to. When I get that little loneliness. When loneliness calls.
A
When loneliness calls. How did you get into drag and performing?
B
So I've always been into the performing arts since I was a child.
A
You went to performing arts High school?
B
Performing arts school. So when I was around like three or four, we discovered that I could sing. My grandmother. Both of my grandmothers can sing.
A
You can sing?
B
Yes, yes.
A
Do you want to give me a little taste? It's okay if you're not warmed up.
B
Let's see. I've had some good days I've had some hills to climb I've had some weary days that's lovely. Yeah, that's a little light. Light. I ain't warmed up. So, yeah, at like 4 years old, I discovered that I could sing. There was a song that my grandmother used to sing in church called New Life. And I started singing in church every Sunday. They would have to literally wave me down to stop, stop, stop. Cause we got to do. So we gotta go on and on and on. But I discovered I could sing then. And then from there, my mom started putting me in performing arts programs. And then I started going to magnet schools for performing arts. Then middle school, I went to Landon School of the Arts, and then high school, I went to Douglas Anderson. So I was always into performing arts. I was in an all city youth chorus called the Rich Voices, where we had a chance to sing with all kind of, like, popular singers and be on all kind of stages and record albums and all that kind of stuff. So I was always doing that. And then once I got to high school is when I discovered about drag queens and trans women all together, trans performers. And that's how it started for me.
A
I love that. And since you grew up in the church, are you still, like, involved with the church or.
B
I'm not a religious person, but I'm a spiritual person. I don't believe in all that anymore. Like, none of that. Don't get me wrong. I believe in God. I believe there is a God. I believe in spirituality, but I don't believe in religion and Christianity and the Bible and all these stories. Cause I just have so many questions. And I'm like, to me, it's just a book.
A
I think it's just a book as well.
B
It's just a book that's a regular book that we read.
A
I think it's parables. There's stories. Stories, but not. It's weird that sometimes people are like, some of the Bible's true and that's how you gotta live. And then other times it's just a story. And I'm like, they're all just stories.
B
But it's like, people pick and choose what they want to take out the Bible and use it for their religion. There's so many things in the Bible, but they only pick and choose. So I see it like that. There's stories. I love the stories.
A
Stories are fun.
B
They're amazing. I just don't believe in it.
A
I agree.
B
But I do believe there is a God. So now I don't go to church and all that stuff anymore. But I do love my gospel music. I love watching all, like, the gospel videos and all that type of stuff. But, yeah, it stops at that.
A
Do you like Mary? Mary?
B
I do.
A
Take them shackles off my feet so
B
I could one of us. So that, like, I'm gonna get myself together. Cause I got some. Yeah. I love Mary. Mary grew up with them.
A
Same. My mom loved gospel music. She loved Kurt Franklin. She loved all of it. But I also grew up and was like, I don't know. The way that the church, like, justifies being so nasty. When I'm like, but aren't we supposed to love each other? I was like, I don't. I don't subscribe to that.
B
I have a lot of traumatizing stories with the. With the church. Like, they just. Like. A church was a place that I went to because I used to love to sing. So that was the main part about why I was going to church. I wanted to sing in a choir. I wanted to be there. I wanted to get into ministry when it came to music. But everything else I hated, they traumatized me. Laying me on the altar and praying like, oh, the gay, the spirits, the this. And, like, just leaving church so confused. Like, well, if they're praying to get out of me, why do I still feel this way? Or why is it still. It was just so many things that I just didn't understand at the time. But as I got older and I started getting my own knowledge about God and. And that book and all that kind of stuff, I realized, like, that's traumatizing. So when I see the videos now of them chastising people and doing all that crazy stuff, I'm like, But then that same person, the pastor that's doing all that preaching and praising and the same one that's leaving the church and fornicating and whatever they want to be doing. Yeah. The church that I grew up in, actually, the pastor, a lot of things came out with him of him having the women in the church, like, getting them pregnant. They get an abortion. It was a lot.
A
That's scandalous.
B
Having a lot of mistresses. Ooh, see?
A
And that's wild to be like, I'm the bad one.
B
Yeah.
A
And I'm a bad. I'm a kid and I'm bad.
B
I grew up. And you telling me that I am the bad one. And then this is what happened.
A
Yeah. No, thank you.
B
Thank you, Child. Fuck you, child. Fuck you. That's how I feel about all of them.
A
What was your day job when you started doing drag?
B
Uh, escorting.
A
Okay, can I ask when you were escorting or doing sex work? Was dating hard? Is it hard to, like, delineate between sex work and then, like, a relationship?
B
Well, during that time, I was dating, like, queer people. Like, like, the gay guys and stuff. So they. They. They knew, like, what time it was when it came to that. And like I say, all those relationships back then was like, puppy love. You know, There was. We all was youngest, young as hell. So it's like, okay, I'm gonna pop this trick, but the money is gonna be spent on both of us. So, like, what's it like?
A
So who cares?
B
Yeah. And it was more like, it's survivor mode for me. This is how I'm surviving, You know, I can't go to my mom and say, hey, can I have $20 to buy me a skirt? Or can I have $20 to buy me a wig. When I left my mom house, when I came out as queer, I was like, you know. Cause they finally asked me the question. And I was like, okay. And it was a crazy night. I was like, yes, I'm gay. I'm gay. At this time, I didn't know anything about trans people. And I was like, yes, I'm gay. And I left my mom house. And I was like, between the streets and my aunt house. And yeah, it was survivor mode. Like, that's what I had to do. But I did over the years, I did have some nine to fives. I worked at Sonic when I was like 17 on the skates. I worked at Target as a cashier. My first job at 16 was at Winn Ditzy. I was a cashier there. Then after Winn Ditzy, I went to Sonic. Then after Sonic, me and the manager was fucking the same guy. So we got into it. And then I went and got a job right behind Sonic at Target. And I used to go up to Sonic on my lunch break, like, ho. You can't stop me. That was a crazy situation. You can't stop me. You can't stop me. I'm here for lunch and then I'm dying.
A
That's petty as hell.
B
It was petty.
A
I'm here for lunch.
B
I'm here for lunch. I would have got a job right behind Sonic. Okay, you fired me. But girl, I got another job. And then after Target, I didn't have another job. Oh. I started working for this lady in the flea market. Like, she would braid hair and I would be like her assistants to write down her appointment or, like, lay the hair out for her. I did that. I was always a hustler.
A
Yes.
B
Even when I was younger, like, if I wanted a CD player, I knew my mom couldn't afford it. I wouldn't go rake yard. I would go rig. I would go mow the yards. I would go to the stores for the older women in the neighborhood and, like, collect their groceries and stuff for them. I was always a hustler, baby.
A
I love that. I love people who are like, if there's a will, there's a way. I'll figure it the fuck out.
B
I did and I did, honey. I'm like, how did you get that? Oh, I went and raked that yard. I went and did that, you know? Or I had my. When I started getting to high school, that's when I started to have my little guy friends that would, like, give me money and stuff like that. Yeah. And then I Also, like, in 2012, I worked at a hotel, and that's when I gained my respect for housekeeping. Like, I have so much respect for housekeepers doing that job. Because some people are outright Ashley. Some people are disgusting. Disgusting as fuck. And I'm like, wow. And you have to clean that whole room.
A
What's the wildest thing that you heard about someone having to clean up?
B
I've seen it for myself. Like. Like the room is like. Like they've been living there for years and they were only there for a few days.
A
Ugh. People are nasty.
B
I mean, like, disgusting. Food everywhere. Like condoms. Like, just like the bathtub disgusting. Like, it make you want to quit. Like that day. So now when I'm staying in a hotel, like, if I have enough time, I pull the sheets off the bed, I take the trash and put it all in one spot. I try to wipe down the surfaces, you know, just a little bit so that it won't have much to do. But my favorite thing about working at the hotels was the laundry room. I used to love the laundry room. Cause you could just listen to your music and wash and fold clothes. That's all you had to do. You have to be bothered with nobody. But then they will put me on the floor, like, to do the rooms. And I'm like, I don't want to. I don't want to do that.
A
Nasty as hell.
B
So, yeah, I've had jobs throughout the years, but my main source of income was escorting.
A
I saw a video of a lady washing her panties in a coffee maker in a hotel. Isn't that disgusting?
B
What the hell? See, now I don't want to use the coffee makers anymore.
A
These people are out here doing nasty shit. Yeah, well, Fantasia, we have reached the end already. Oh, my God. Is there anything you want to promote, ladies and gentlemen?
B
Don't forget to watch DIY dungeon on out tv. Right now. I think we're almost at the end. By the time this airs, we will be at the end of it. But go watch it. It's a great show. You can follow me on all of my social media. Fantasia Royale, Gaga. And stay tuned, stay tuned. Because I've always got something brewing. Honey, I love that.
A
I can't wait to see what you do next. I think you're just so wonderful.
B
Thank you.
A
You're welcome. I have a question. I ask all my guests this. Would you date me?
B
Abso fucking lutely, yes.
A
Honestly, that makes me so happy. I think you're so beautiful and fun and wonderful. If you like this episode of why won't you date me? You can like it, follow it, rate it. 5 stars on Spotify and Apple podcasts. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me, I will read it. And the email address to write that to is why won't you date me? PodcastMail.com this person writes. Hey Nicole, I know we're we're in the down season for farming, so let your mind wander for a time of green and growth. For this one. Farming is one of the hardest jobs out there. So when you come in from the field I'll have ice cold water waiting for you. Maybe some slices of that one fruit from your neighbor's tree. Also waiting for you will be lovely shower gel to get all the dirt off your body. I will help you towel off then lay you on the bed spread eagle. Then I would leave kisses all over your beautiful legs, calves to thighs. Then I devour your lady bits until you were begging me to stop. Top. Then I tuck in my little farmer so you could get a good night's rest before another day of hitting the fields. Thank you so much. I love farming. Goodbye. I have a garden and I farm and I sometimes talk about it. That was a headgum podcast.
Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer — "Having 'The Body' (w/ Fantasia Royale Gaga)"
Release Date: March 13, 2026
Guest: Fantasia Royale Gaga (Drag performer, showgirl, winner of Hot House S1, Dragula S5 contestant, host of DIY Dungeon)
This episode centers around body image, identity, self-love, and the complications of dating as a trans showgirl and entertainer. Nicole Byer is joined by the vivacious and candid Fantasia Royale Gaga, known for her larger-than-life persona, stunning physical presentation, and honest takes on love, surgery, fame, and personal growth. The conversation touches on Fantasia’s journey with her body, experiences navigating relationships (and the peculiarities of dating as a public figure), plus the unique world of queer performance, kink, and surviving—and thriving—on your own terms.
The Fascination with "The Body"
Journey to the Current Look
Surgical Transparency and Warnings
Dating App Fatigue and Old-School Romance
Fetishization vs. Genuine Attraction
Green Flags in a Partner
Sample Bad and Good Dates
Advice for Singles
Early Hustle and Survival
Discovering and Embracing Performance
Spirituality
DIY Dungeon and the Kink World
Fantasia Royale Gaga delivers an unfiltered, humorous, and deeply honest narrative about body autonomy, dating with pride, and the realities of public and queer life. The episode blends lively banter, hard-won wisdom, and a celebration of self-advocacy—highlighting both the challenges of being visible and the triumphs of living unapologetically.
Connect with Fantasia:
Nicole’s Closing Ritual: