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- [00:00]
A
Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.
- [00:07]
B
This is a headgum podcast.
- [00:11]
A
Today's segment is brought to you by Bumble, the Go to dating app for finding love. If I scroll on your profile and it doesn't look silly, we're not going to match. If your opener doesn't make me laugh, I'm probably not replying. Banter is key, and I want someone who can match my silliness. That's why I love that Bumble has prompts like you can throw a little weirdo energy into your profile and see who vibes with it. Bumble offers tips in moments. You might need them to help you on your dating journey so you never feel alone when dating on Bumble. It's like having a dating coach in your pocket. So what are you waiting for? Start your love story on Bumble.
- [00:52]
B
I would, like, hook up with a lot of go go guys and, like, as, like, a little gay boy. Like, I was literally just, like, 23 after Drag Race. 20, like, bossy. 24. Oh, God. There was this one hookup in Toronto that was, like, wild. We filmed it, and then I showed Courtney, Bianca, and Darian, like, in our group chat. And I remember Courtney's like, you need to delete that. They're gonna get it on icloud.
- [01:14]
A
They're gonna get it on icloud. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Ooh, baby. Welcome Another episode of why Won't yout Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole, has been trying to figure out why I'm so single, even though you could come in a binder and tell me it's paper. My guest today is a drag legend, singer, songwriter, and actress who first blew up on American Idol before becoming one of the most iconic queens on RuPaul's Drag Race. And she's in the upcoming movie Hag on Tubi. And I'm so excited she's here. It's Adore Delano.
- [02:04]
B
Wow. What an intro. Thank you. One of my favorite things to do the buildup.
- [02:10]
A
I love an intro.
- [02:11]
B
Nice little foreplay.
- [02:12]
A
The podcast just getting you a little comfortable before we f. So we literally dive in. Adora, truly, thank you so much for being here. I'm a very big fan of yours.
- [02:24]
B
Thank you.
- [02:25]
A
I think you're wonderful. You're stunning. Your run on Drag Race was so fun. Here's a question. Are you dating? Are you single? Are you married? Do you Care not to say?
- [02:37]
B
Um, I'm in a relationship for like 10 months now.
- [02:40]
A
Okay.
- [02:41]
B
It's trippy because, like, he got me right when I was like, I just got my FFS surgery. My, my, my facial feminization.
- [02:51]
A
If you're not in the know.
- [02:52]
B
Uh huh.
- [02:53]
A
For you kids out there.
- [02:55]
B
Yeah. Like, I was dating though, like quite frequently. Like, like when I was healing, like, I was like, let me just like, emerge myself in this life.
- [03:02]
A
Wait, when you're healing? So this means there's tape and stuff on you?
- [03:07]
B
I was still swollen a little bit, but like, yeah, I had my like, rounds of like, dating like deadbeat motherfuckers. Just like, fuck, man. Like, Hollywood is not the place to date. And then I'm like, I put this much money into my fucking chin and you're acting like a goddamn dog. Like, nah, like, you can't even like, pay for coffee. This is a mortgage, bitch. I can't even smile right now. Like, that's so funny.
- [03:35]
A
I put so much money in my gin and you can't buy me a coffee.
- [03:40]
B
Did. Wanted me to. I don't drink. I'm like, I don't either. Buy me a fucking seltzer. What the hell?
- [03:47]
A
Oh my God. I fucking love that you were like, I don't know. I'm healing. Why not? Yeah, you can't hurt me. My face already hurts.
- [03:54]
B
Yeah. What the. It hurts you more to look at me than you're gonna do to me. Like, fuck it. No, but yeah, dated a lot of different weirdos. Like, just like I did the, the online dating, the whole like, app thing. Um, and then like a good chunk of like four months when I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna be single and hot. Um, I met my boyfriend and it just, just from then on, like 10 months ago, we'd just been together like almost every day.
- [04:21]
A
I like that.
- [04:22]
B
He's cool.
- [04:22]
A
That's sweet.
- [04:23]
B
He's a cool little fucker.
- [04:25]
A
Cool little fucker.
- [04:26]
B
I love him a lot.
- [04:27]
A
Um, but yeah, when you were on the apps, did you ever find people coming at you being like, I just want to talk about Drag Race? Yeah.
- [04:33]
B
Yeah, I got some of those and then I blocked them. I think I like, subconsciously was trying to see, like, how I was gonna be treated in society if there was any difference, which. There was a lot of like, straight men who were like, kind of like, it's just, it was really weird. Like, I didn't like, a lot of that would beat me up in high school were like, trying to ask me Out. And I'm like, isn't that funny? It's really funny in that.
- [05:01]
A
Funny.
- [05:01]
B
Hilarious, some would say. But yeah, it was really, really discouraging. So I was like, I'm good. And then I met my boyfriend, who's also, he's a trans man. And we just kind of like had that in common and shared like certain like, beliefs and just like morals that we kind of like and like life history that we kind of had.
- [05:24]
A
How did you meet?
- [05:26]
B
Well, he slid into my DMs on Instagram on a couple of my thirst traps. Uh huh. Um, and then I was like, I don't wanna meet anybody, like by myself anymore. We're gonna go out to like karaoke and watch a drag show with my friends. And if you wanna come, like, come meet us out. And then I met him and then we went on a date like a couple days later. And it was like for nine hours, just like talking. And I was like, wow. Hmm. Funny how people can talk.
- [05:54]
A
Yeah. When you like each other. Funny how you could just talk.
- [05:57]
B
Uh huh. About life and things. And I was comparing that like subconsciously too to like the other motherfuckers that were just like waiting for me to shut up while I was talking. Cause they wanted that goal. They're like, so what's, so what's going on under those baggy pants? It was like very that. And you can feel that energy from that. And I was like, none of that was happening with my boyfriend. And I was like, okay, this is the cool. We're talking about like life and like stuff that we like as opposed to like, hurry up, shut up. Yeah. You got any roommates?
- [06:27]
A
Let's go to your place. Shut up. Shut up and fucking fuck me.
- [06:32]
B
That's.
- [06:32]
A
I. I really love that you took the time to be like, okay, this person and I, we like, vibe. We can have a full conversation. We have the same life views and whatnot. I love that so much.
- [06:45]
B
Yeah.
- [06:46]
A
Congratulations.
- [06:47]
B
Thank you. He's a good guy. He's got good parents. He's cool. Yeah. Cool sister too.
- [06:52]
A
And this might not be interesting to talk about. You can tell me.
- [06:55]
B
No.
- [06:56]
A
So this is not your first time transitioning?
- [06:59]
B
No. When I was a teenager. I came out when I was 15 and I was transitioning in school. Like there was no like verbiage for it, but my mom and I had to talk about it, like what the plans were after I graduated and then. It's trippy how this all worked out though. Cause then I like threw away all my clothes, tried out for American Idol and did as much as I can to kind of suppress it. Then drag came. So I thought, I can compartmentalize the femininity into a character. And with a lot of money and extensive therapy, I realized that Adora is me, and I am her, and she's not going anywhere. And God damn it, we're gonna make the best of it and look as hot as we can. We're gonna do it. But, yeah, it was not my first time. Transitioning was just, like, the trigger that I finally pulled, and I was like, it's not too late. Whatever.
- [07:48]
A
No, it's never too late to live your authentic life. I also really love how supportive your mother was.
- [07:52]
B
Yeah.
- [07:53]
A
Like, let's have a game plan. Let's talk about it. What are we going to do after graduation? Like, that is just. That's so fudgeing. Sweet.
- [08:01]
B
Yeah.
- [08:01]
A
Like, really nice.
- [08:03]
B
Yeah. She's a golden one for sure. Especially for the time, like, this is, like, 2004. Like, and, like, in an area and, like, with family members that aren't very understanding or, like, you know, I come from, like, a Chicano kind of, like, background. Very, like, gangster vibes. They didn't know what the fuck that was. And my mom was very protective, and so were my brothers. They're very, like, understanding. She just kind of raised us to just be like, do what you want to do. But she's like. She even tells me, like, I knew since you were, like, one or two, like, it was just like you were a little girl. Like, you always were, like. But, yeah, very grateful for that shit.
- [08:38]
A
This fucking warms my heart. I genuinely love that because I. I mean, I don't want kids, but I couldn't fathom looking at my kid and mad at a choice that they're making that's not harming me or them.
- [08:51]
B
Yeah.
- [08:52]
A
Like, it's just so wild to me.
- [08:54]
B
Yeah. She's like, always like, you're. You're half of me. Like, what the fuck? Like, how am I gonna, like, turn that down? Or whatever. But, yeah, I don't think I want kids either. Side note. Yeah. Not my thing.
- [09:04]
A
Not for me.
- [09:06]
B
I don't know if it's my thing.
- [09:07]
A
It's not my thing.
- [09:09]
B
I know. I know.
- [09:10]
A
Spending money on me and not having to worry about a little person who's like, I need things. I'm like, no, you don't.
- [09:17]
B
Exactly.
- [09:17]
A
I'm gonna buy a coach because I want you today.
- [09:22]
B
Exactly. I'm like, no, I'm not transitioning at 33 and be like, you know, what? I want three kids. Like, bitch, give me, like, three decades. Like, I'm good.
- [09:32]
A
Was the surgery. Was it painful?
- [09:34]
B
Yeah, it was painful.
- [09:35]
A
But, like, that's funny that I'm like, was it painful? It's like they cut your fudgeing face open. Yeah, it was painful.
- [09:42]
B
It's trippy what they do, too, because, like, when you, like, look it up, it's like. Which I did. I was like, can I see video? Did you guys film it? Like, what's the vibe? They, like, I did, like, eight different surgeries on my face. And. But they were very, like, subtle. But, yeah, like, they, like, cut my head. Like, lifted it, took the strip of my head that they cut out and, like, implanted those hairs to lower my hairline. I got ribs taken out from my nose. Like, chin done. Like, they tightened my muscles in my neck, did a neck lift. Like, bunch of shit. So I was, like, swollen, but, like, you can't really feel it. You're all drugged up when you wake up.
- [10:17]
A
My first a lot.
- [10:18]
B
Yeah. My first thing I said was, like, are we going to start? My mom's like, bitch, you're cut up.
- [10:23]
A
You're cut up. You done, girl? Well, you look fabulous.
- [10:27]
B
Thank you.
- [10:28]
A
Truly fabulous.
- [10:29]
B
I feel good.
- [10:30]
A
How long was the recovery? I'm so interested in surgery. I've never had any, like, cosmetic surgery.
- [10:37]
B
I love surgery. The. The healing was, like, to go out and look, like, decent. Like, three months. That's when I started dating. A little swollen. But, yeah, I would say, like, maybe six, seven months. I was performing again, like, doing Pride, and it was, like, all tightening up around, like, six months, seven months. It was just like. You can see everything.
- [10:59]
A
You said you had a rib taken. What? You had What?
- [11:02]
B
Well, they, like, scrape cartilage from, like, underneath your ribs to, like. Because I had a revision because I had a nose job in 2016, and they. So this is like, my rib cartilage on my nose.
- [11:15]
A
Science is a beautiful thing. That is so wild that some person was like, let's take the rib.
- [11:22]
B
Yeah.
- [11:22]
A
And we're gonna pop it right in that nose.
- [11:23]
B
Yeah, rib nose, Rib nose.
- [11:26]
A
I got a little bit of a rib nose.
- [11:29]
B
No, but that shit hurt, but it's fine. And my mom's like, a nurse, so she wasn't letting me take any of my medication. She's like, you're fine. Take Advil. And I'm like, I'm dying. Can't even laugh. My ribs are all bruised.
- [11:44]
A
I had surgery on my ankle. Cause I fell down the stairs, took a little tumble and my doctor was like, all right, take the painkillers for a week. But after a week, just remember there's a screw a rod in your ankle. It's gonna be painful. And I was like, okay, whatever. And by like week two, I was like, mmm, gotta take my little painkillers. And I was like, ah. That's what he was talking about. Okay, I see how people get addicted. This is fun. This crew feels good. I feel so nice. Have a glass of and go swimming.
- [12:15]
B
On my couch Wine and pill.
- [12:21]
A
So before Drag Race and before Idol, were you. Wait, how old were you in idol?
- [12:26]
B
I was 17.
- [12:28]
A
Were you dating in high school? No, I also didn't date in high school.
- [12:32]
B
No.
- [12:33]
A
No.
- [12:34]
B
Yeah.
- [12:34]
A
I didn't know how people were doing it. I was like, so you go to school all day and then you have a full blown relationship and then maybe you run track.
- [12:40]
B
What the fuck?
- [12:41]
A
When do you sleep?
- [12:43]
B
I didn't want to get ready for school. I'm not trying to like, like peacock on a bitch at school. Like, no, I was in my pajamas and shit. My first relationship, I was. It was during one of my first tours ever. Right after Drag Race in Australia. I met my first ex boyfriend and we, like, had a long distance relationship for almost seven months.
- [13:05]
A
And then where they were in Australia and you were here. Oh, my God.
- [13:09]
B
We just like go back and forth.
- [13:10]
A
Very fuck. Oh my God. You go back and forth. That is a long fucking flight.
- [13:14]
B
Ye dedicated motherfucker. My God, it was intense. But yeah, just didn't. It didn't work. I wrote an album about it, got some tattoos after we broke up, like an idiot.
- [13:26]
A
Wait, did you get tattoos of him?
- [13:28]
B
Just, like little things that like, meant like certain things for him. I'm getting them lasered as. Not joking. Like three days ago, my six laser session on my back. But yeah, that was my first relationship. And then this one that I'm in right now is my second. So, like, it went like 12 years of not seriously dating, just like hooking up with like go go dancers on the road and just roadies, just drunk and sex. And that's how I have, like, to compare it to. So it's kind of trouble. I'm like, this is healthy. This feels weird. Like, yes, that's trippy.
- [14:05]
A
I'm also in a relationship and it's. It's so healthy, it blows me away. And sometimes I'll be like, what if I stir up some craziness? And it's like, what are you doing? But it is wild to be like, oh, this Is healthy. This is nice. I can just talk to this person about my issues, and they're not gonna get mad at me. They're not gonna, like, break up with me or anything. Like, it's so weird.
- [14:27]
B
Yeah. I'm like, why are you understanding me right now?
- [14:30]
A
Yes.
- [14:32]
B
Yeah. It's nothing to. I can't compare it to anything. So it's kind of like, right? It's like chippy. You're like, okay, so am I doing this right? Feels good. So. And I'm not being a. So, you know, and I listen too, and that.
- [14:46]
A
Those are the rules. Don't be a door. Real quick, we gotta take a break. Today's segment is brought to you by Bumblebee, the go to dating app for finding love. On this show. You know, I'm always talking about how important banter is. If someone can't match my silly, it's not gonna work out. And that's what I love about Bumble. Their prompts are perfect for showing off your personality. You could put something funny, weird, or just totally you in there and see who responds. If they can keep up and make you laugh, that's when you know you're gonna click. And Bumble makes it so much easier to figure that out because you can actually see people's shared interests and right on their profile. So instead of guessing, you already know if you share your similar love for dogs, reality TV or podcasts. Plus, Bumble's safety feature means you can feel good about who you're talking to. New users go through ID verification, so age and identity are confirmed with real documentation. So you can just relax a little knowing that the person you're messaging is who they say they are. Dating should feel exciting and fun, not stressful. And that's why Bumble is such a great place to start. You don't have to just take my word for it. Try it for yourself and see why so many guests on this podcast have found real lasting connections on Bumble. So are you ready to meet someone? Great. Start your love story on Bumble. So after Drag Race, were people, like, in your DMs trying to get at you?
- [16:22]
B
Yeah, I think for. Yeah, but you can. Like, one thing that American Idol taught me was like, because I was a teenager on that and I was, like, partying in Hollywood and, like, learning how to, like, weed the hungry tigers. Paris Hilton used to say, in some way you can, like, smell them out. But I mean, like, I would go for it when I was, like, drunk. Like, whatever you live once. We're not serious about this. I'm never going to see you again. Just don't steal my laptop. But it's like, yeah, yeah. Like, and you would weed through them and just be like, whatever. But I was on the road a lot and kind of dealing with it in person and. And not caring. I was like, whatever. I would do it, too. Like, this is gonna. This is gonna blow over soon, so might as well take advantage of it.
- [17:08]
A
What's one of your wildest hookups?
- [17:10]
B
Wildest hookup? Oh, my God. There's a lot. Girl like, what? Like, sometimes I'm even like, what the fuck was that? Like, why did you do that? Probably in Canada, Like, I would, like, hook up with a lot of Go Go guys and, like, as, like, a little gay boy. Like, I was literally just, like, barely. I was, like, 23 after Drag Race. 20, like, about to be 24. Oh, God, that's so young. It's wild.
- [17:40]
A
It's so young to be, like, thrust into the spotlight making money that you've never seen before.
- [17:45]
B
Yeah.
- [17:46]
A
And you're 23 years old and do.
- [17:48]
B
Anything that you want to do around the world. You're like, yeah, like, what the fuck? A gogo wants to have sex with me? That's crazy. Yeah. Probably just, like, the Go Go vibes and just, like, hooking up. There was this one hookup in Toronto that was, like, wild. We filmed it, and then I showed Courtney, Bianca, and Darian, like, in our group chat. And I remember Courtney's like, you need to delete that. They're gonna get in on icloud.
- [18:14]
A
They're gonna get it on icloud.
- [18:16]
B
And that was wild. I would, like, do some of that weird drunken shit and, yeah, like, Go Go's. I remember in Atlanta, I slept with, like, a Go Go guy that was just wild. He's like, like, gross shit. Like, in the mean greed, like, whisper shit in my ear. And I'm like, bet. Like, yeah, here's my room number. Yeah. And one time I hooked up with this guy that was, like, a Go Go guy, and I had, like, acrylic nails, and I was, like, so dysphoric about it. I was, like, trying to hide my hands, like, mittens the whole time. And I was like, this is not working. Like, I was just like, hey. Like, just caressing the chin with my knuckles. But, yeah, just, like, wild Go Go sex and finding out. Or, like, Bianca and I would be out. She wouldn't care if I tell this. And we'd, like, be out in, like, England, and then I'd be like, oh, that Go Go guy's hot or whatever. Like, that bartender's hot. And then I'd find out, like, she'd hook up with him, like, the same night, be like, got him.
- [19:14]
A
Damn, man.
- [19:16]
B
She's like, too slow.
- [19:17]
A
Fact.
- [19:20]
B
We'd be on the bus, like, the next day too slow.
- [19:22]
A
Facts, damn it. Good. Bianca.
- [19:27]
B
Yep.
- [19:28]
A
I once filmed myself fucking Sunday. And I watched it back and I was like, in no way did I think that's what I looked like.
- [19:35]
B
Yeah, it felt right, though. Right in the moment, it felt right.
- [19:38]
A
But watching it back, I was like, oh, no.
- [19:41]
B
Yeah.
- [19:42]
A
Oh, we gotta change some of these. The way we're arching and what we're doing with our body.
- [19:48]
B
Yeah.
- [19:48]
A
I once, so I used to snore a lot. And I have this snoring app that you just, like, put on while you're sleeping. And I left it on once, and then the dude I was seeing, we ended up fucking. And then I was like, now I have to concentrate on what I sound like.
- [20:04]
B
Oh.
- [20:05]
A
Cause, like, I've seen what I look like, and that was a trip. But then I was like, just the. The podcast of sex was so upsetting.
- [20:13]
B
Yeah. You hear the audio back.
- [20:14]
A
Oh, my God. I was like, oh, yeah.
- [20:17]
B
It's like cringing yourself to death.
- [20:20]
A
Yes.
- [20:20]
B
Yeah.
- [20:21]
A
Oh, my God.
- [20:22]
B
But like, we filmed this shit on a fucking laptop. This is, like, in 2013. And on, like, a movie.
- [20:31]
A
Photo booth.
- [20:31]
B
Photo booth. There was photo booth down, photo. And I'm like, ew. Like, the crunching of the laptop, like, falling off the bed. And I ended up, like, literally showing Courtney and Bianca. I'm like, ew, that's disgusting. What a pig bitch. I was. Jesus Christ.
- [20:47]
A
That's so funny. Look at what a pig bitch. I was like, I never wanted to see that girl. Watch it. Watch that.
- [20:54]
B
So grody. It was so gross.
- [20:56]
A
I love it. We've grown demure women. Not doing that anymore. Unless you want to.
- [21:03]
B
Yep. Just don't film it on fucking. What is it?
- [21:07]
A
Photo booth.
- [21:08]
B
Photo booth. Photo Bucket. I was really gonna age myself.
- [21:11]
A
Woo.
- [21:12]
B
Hey, kids. Photo Bucket.
- [21:14]
A
I haven't thought about Photo Bucket in so long.
- [21:18]
B
There was a. This is, like, sidebar. Speaking of not hearing things for so long, I opened TikTok and they were like, oh, we missed MySpace. And it was like an old MySpace picture of me when I was, like, 14 and somebody, like, tagged me. I was like, not a door. When she was, like, 13 on MySP. My boyfriend had a kick out of it. Anyway.
- [21:38]
A
Yeah, I do miss MySpace. I miss the top eight and getting mad at a friend and removing them from my top eight.
- [21:46]
B
I miss, like, charging my friends to code for them, like, HTML, making it.
- [21:52]
A
Sparkle in the background and putting a little song. Yeah, girls, they want to have fun. As, like, purple glitter happened.
- [21:58]
B
A little star cursor, like a little cigarette that smokes. I'm like, oh, that's going to cost you five more dollars for my lunch money.
- [22:05]
A
You would charge people?
- [22:06]
B
Yeah, I would. I'd be like, that's three bucks, dude. It's just a cursor.
- [22:10]
A
She's a businesswoman.
- [22:11]
B
I love it. Yep. Now I charge them for different things.
- [22:16]
A
I have a question. Your style, it's fun.
- [22:20]
B
Oh, God. Is it?
- [22:23]
A
Oh, God, I love it.
- [22:24]
B
Really?
- [22:24]
A
I like the ripped jeans and I like the fishnets underneath. How did you get your style? How did you figure it out?
- [22:29]
B
I'm a huge fan of, like, Drew Barrymore in the 90s.
- [22:33]
A
Okay. I see that.
- [22:34]
B
Her Poison Ivy era. I love 90s girls. I love, like, kind of, like the throw on, like, oversized kind of like, is she stinky? Is she not? Like, I don't know. I kind of do love that. Kind of just throw it together. But yeah, like, I just. I love the 90s I grew up in.
- [22:52]
A
Is she stinky or is she not.
- [22:54]
B
Really stuck with me.
- [22:55]
A
That's really fucking funny.
- [22:57]
B
Like, oh, she's pretty, but does she have deodorant on? It's probably the answer. The world will never know. Learning and lessons. That's the answer. But, yeah, probably that. And, like, punk bands growing up and just, like, the riot grrrl movement. I loved all that shit growing up and just, like, kind of taking, like, my own. My own, like, grasp of femininity and, like, putting a little twist to it and having a little edge and grit. You don't know if she has a knife in her bra or not.
- [23:26]
A
I. I like that your aesthetic is mystery. Is she stinky? Does she have a knife?
- [23:32]
B
Yes, yes, yes. My Scorpio Rising. We'll just call it that.
- [23:38]
A
I want to talk about sobriety. So you've been sober since 2021? Did I make that up?
- [23:44]
B
I'm in my third year, November 6th. So that would be 2022.
- [23:50]
A
And what was the decision? Was it just like, oh, I don't vibe well with this. I gotta stop.
- [23:56]
B
Yeah, that was really weird again. In Australia. We were on tour. Fuck.
- [24:03]
A
A lot of epiphanies happening in Australia.
- [24:05]
B
Should I move there? No, it was in Melbourne, Australia, on a full moon. Ooh, witchy. We had, like, Three days to chill before doing a show. And something just told me like, you're locking yourself in here. Cause I had friends that wanted to party that night and they wanted to.
- [24:24]
A
Party, they wanted to go hard.
- [24:26]
B
Everything was free. Oh, everything.
- [24:28]
A
Well, that's a nice time.
- [24:29]
B
Uh huh. Especially for her back then. I was very excited about that. But no, I locked myself in the hotel room and I just didn't leave for three days. Kind of detoxed a little bit. And then never, I never drank again. Didn't do really anything after that. Like something just like spoke to me was like, you are losing everything, you're not wanting to do anything. I was just like super lazy. Just kind of like self sabotaging. And as soon as I like stopped for like a few months, like all these like dope blessings are happening, like not to get all spiritual and shit, but like they just started falling into my lap and I'm like, that's how that worked. And then I just kept it up. And Now I think three years, November 6th will be.
- [25:15]
A
Congratulations.
- [25:16]
B
Thanks.
- [25:16]
A
That's wonderful.
- [25:17]
B
Thank you.
- [25:18]
A
I've been trying to do mindful drinking where like there was a month where I said I'm not gonna drink anything. And then I kept going to dinners and being like, glass of wine. And then being like, oh, it's just a habit. It's a thing that I just do. I sit down at a restaurant and I go, wine?
- [25:34]
B
Yeah.
- [25:35]
A
And I was like, let's just be a little bit more mindful. Maybe you don't wine in the beginning. Maybe you just have a nice conversation with your friends.
- [25:43]
B
Yeah.
- [25:43]
A
And maybe you don't actually need a glass of anything.
- [25:45]
B
Yeah.
- [25:46]
A
Maybe you have water, maybe you have a Diet Coke and get wild.
- [25:50]
B
Ooh, fizzy. It's like a code for everybody individually though. It's like, whatever works for you. Like, I wish I could like, like just drink normally, but like it was fucking wild. Breaking like my hands and like punching shit. It was wild. It was like Courtney love in the 90s, like bad. Throwing compacts at Madonna and shit. Like it really bad. But yeah, like, I think it's just like a code for everybody. And I see my friends that can handle it and I'm like low key jealous a little bit. But like, it just didn't work for me. And maybe when I'm like older not to speak that into existence, but maybe it'll work for me. But right now I'm like, this is not for you. Just live your life a little bit and just see whatever like comes to you. And maybe it'll come back. Maybe it won't.
- [26:35]
A
Maybe it won't. But I do like that you said it doesn't work for me because I feel like a lot of people look around and mimic things that work for other people but don't necessarily work for themselves. And it's like, well, you just kind of have to be real with yourself if it's. If it's not working, you should make a change.
- [26:51]
B
Yeah, we all have a different, like, psychological makeup too, and, like, what we can handle, not see it all deep again, but, like, past traumas, all this shit. Like, that all plays into like and comes out in certain characters. And some people don't have that. Like, some people just want to have a good time and can do that. So. Yeah. Not the copy and pasting shit with life. That never works out, like, ever.
- [27:14]
A
Because there was a time in my life where I was a binge drinker. Ooh, baby. She'd knock back 10 vodka sodas and then be like, oh, no, I have to sleep for the whole next day. And it's like, well, that's not working. I have to maybe drink half of that so I can wake up and do anything the next day.
- [27:34]
B
That was me. Yep.
- [27:35]
A
You just have to kind of like sit with yourself and be like, is this good or is this bad? Yeah, and a lot of times it's gonna be bad.
- [27:43]
B
Yeah. I'm like, you know what? I won't have like a bottle of Tito's. I'll just have like a bottle of wine. And then like, when the fucking liquor store guy knows you by, like, first name, he's like, you want a bottle of wine? I'm like, fuck yeah.
- [27:55]
A
Oh, no. This is where they know my name.
- [27:59]
B
Uh huh. He's like, oh, no, we don't need your card. I'm like, yeah, fuck you too.
- [28:03]
A
Your money is no good.
- [28:05]
B
It.
- [28:05]
A
You're like, oh, my God. Okay, this is my life.
- [28:09]
B
He's like, good for you. You won't be here for too long. Just take it.
- [28:14]
A
I want to pivot back to dating. What's your, like, what's the. Your favorite date you've ever been on?
- [28:20]
B
My favorite date I've ever been on, probably the first date with my boyfriend. Yeah, it was just like super innocent. Like, we just like, ate and like karaoke and played pool and it was like, we talked and like, I don't really get that a lot. Like I said, I didn't really date a lot prior to transitioning. It was just like hookups mostly around the world. Sometimes I forget, too. Like, when I meet people, like, hey. And, like, say something like, oh, my God, I know you.
- [28:51]
A
I know you biblically.
- [28:53]
B
I'm like, 2014. I remember you at the hill tent. Probably that, though. The first date with my boyfriend was, like. It was different. It was like a proper date kind of innocent. There wasn't anything, like, sexual or, like, nasty. Yeah.
- [29:10]
A
The other ones are just like, like, whatever.
- [29:13]
B
They were just, like, weird or, like, very, like, inappropriate and, like, weird. And I'm like, ew. And I'm very, like, in tune. I could, like, see past, like, somebody's, like, dead stare. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, God, if you had a car, I'd slash your tires. But it was. It gives that. But, yeah. Probably my boyfriend's first date.
- [29:33]
A
I love that. My favorite date with my boyfriend is he took me to. There was a pop. I've talked about this on the podcast, but there was a Sonic the Hedgehog Pop Up Cafe.
- [29:45]
B
Cute.
- [29:45]
A
Called the Sonic Speed Cafe. And it was in Chino Hills. So we drove, I think, for an hour. And I think this was our third or fourth date. So we didn't really know each other, but we, like, talked the whole way there. We talked while we were there, and then we walked around a Barnes and Noble, and I was like, my favorite cookies are here because at the Starbucks and Barnes and Noble, they have a chocolate peanut butter cookie. That's very nice.
- [30:09]
B
Oh, they're special there.
- [30:11]
A
It's an exclusive. So I got one and we shared it. And then we just talked about books. And then we talked the whole way home. And he was like, oh, I was a little nervous because I didn't know what it would be like to just be with you for a solid five hours. And he was like. And it was just really nice. We just didn't run out of things to talk about. And I, like, just got to know you a little bit better. And I was like, I liked it too. And I didn't get sick of you.
- [30:37]
B
Yeah. And felt different. Right. You're like, oh, wait a minute. Yeah.
- [30:42]
A
Oh, I think I could spend all my time with this person.
- [30:46]
B
Yeah. It's. It's totally different. And you're like, oh, that's what they talk about. Okay. Like, and it's, like, weirdly innocent and cute, but you're also feeling things like, this is. This is different.
- [30:56]
A
Yes. We were truly walking around Barnes and Noble, and I was like, I hope he kisses me. Aw, cute. And he'd already kissed me. But, like, I Was like, I want more kisses.
- [31:07]
B
That's what you're supposed to be feeling. You're like, okay, yeah, it was definitely different. You can feel a different spark for sure.
- [31:14]
A
Do you know what you're gonna do for your one year anniversary?
- [31:17]
B
No. I just met his family in Connecticut, so I'm like, I want to go back there because it's super Hallmark card vibes. But yeah, probably, probably go visit his family and do something or like do something different outside of La Adora.
- [31:29]
A
This is so sweet.
- [31:30]
B
Just wholesome shit.
- [31:31]
A
I just love it so much.
- [31:32]
B
Yeah, I'm bored.
- [31:33]
A
I was meeting his family. Was it, Were you nervous?
- [31:37]
B
A little. But like, I kind of like chameleon. I'm a Libra, I can like fit in. They're very like easy to talk to though, and very like, they just spark up conversations. Super easy and kind of make you feel comfortable. They're one of those families and super cute. They all like sing around with each other. The guitar, it's like super wholesome. And I'm like, where am I?
- [32:00]
A
And you fit right in. Cause you sing.
- [32:02]
B
Yeah. And I'm like, do not ask me to sing. Like, can you sing? I'm like, okay, I'll sing.
- [32:06]
A
Please don't ask. Don't ask.
- [32:08]
B
Okay. Don't make me sing.
- [32:10]
A
Don't make me sing. Don't make me.
- [32:13]
B
It was very. But it was easy. It was easy. And I was like, okay, yeah, everything's just wholesome and very sweet.
- [32:21]
A
Ugh, I fucking love that. I love, love. People ask. They're like, do you think you'll stop doing this podcast? I'm like, no. Because I really love hearing about people's relationships, how they find love, how they, how they move through life in love or. I just had Angeria on. She says hello.
- [32:40]
B
I love Angeria.
- [32:41]
A
I love Angeria too. And I liked listening to her be so assertive in what she wants and like so clear headed about it and it just warms my little heart.
- [32:52]
B
Yeah. And again, like everybody has a code with that too. And what makes them feel sparkly and comfortable. But yeah, I love Angeria. She's a Libra as well.
- [33:01]
A
So. Okay. You know about signs and stuff?
- [33:04]
B
Some, yeah.
- [33:06]
A
I'm a Virgo.
- [33:08]
B
Uh huh.
- [33:08]
A
Well, tell me about a Virgo. Tell me about me.
- [33:14]
B
Let me see. I have Virgo friends. Do you like, like, are you like tidy?
- [33:20]
A
Ish.
- [33:21]
B
Do like dirty tables bother you when you're out, like at a bar and nobody's like picking up the napkins? Yeah, that's like usually my Virgo friends are like, the ones that, like, are like, put the cup in the trash. Like, it's like, very, like, like, organized, usually very career, like, driven. Usually, like, a lot of my friends are like, and this is the video that I'm doing. And it's very, like, in, like, it's organized in a row. But I don't know too much. I know my Mercury is in Virgo, so the way that I communicate.
- [33:51]
A
What does Mercury and Virgo mean?
- [33:53]
B
I think Mercury is the way that you communicate, I think. And the way that you have discussions and I think hard conversations is what my friend would tell me. Mine's in Virgo. So I think I'll just think thoroughly about what I'm about to say. Because words have meaning.
- [34:08]
A
Words do have meaning.
- [34:10]
B
But, yeah, that's pretty much all I know. I mean, all iconic people are Virgos. Beyonce. Beyonce's a Virgo, right?
- [34:16]
A
She is.
- [34:17]
B
She is Libra Rising. Yes. We love Beyonce.
- [34:21]
A
September 4th. Happy birthday, Beyonce.
- [34:23]
B
Uh huh. Happy birthday, Beyonce.
- [34:26]
A
Imagine she listens to this podcast and she was like, oh, my God. I was wondering when she would wish me a happy birthday. I was like, what?
- [34:33]
B
And she did it.
- [34:34]
A
And she did it. So Hova, come inside. She wishes me a happy birthday. Blue.
- [34:41]
B
Oh, blues are too. Yeah.
- [34:43]
A
Roomie.
- [34:44]
B
Sir.
- [34:46]
A
I love Beyonce.
- [34:48]
B
Me too.
- [34:49]
A
How did you get into singing?
- [34:51]
B
How did I get into singing? I just always have. Since I was little. My mom has me, like, on camera when I'm like, one and a half singing, like, the Lassie's theme song. You know that dog Lassie? No.
- [35:02]
A
Oh, wait, yes, I do know Lassie. I didn't know there was a theme song, though.
- [35:05]
B
Oh, no, she has me on there with a mullet singing Lassie. But yeah, I mean, I've always just sang and put on shows for, like, my neighbors and, like, my family. Super, like, weird, eccentric kid that always, like, made my VMAs in the backyard of my house in Azusa. My mom's just like, Jesus Christ. But, yeah, just always sing at school, too. Talent shows and just.
- [35:30]
A
I love how much your mom is a champion for you.
- [35:32]
B
She is.
- [35:33]
A
You want to sing, go sing.
- [35:34]
B
She really is.
- [35:35]
A
Whatever you want to do, I'm here for you. I fucking love that she's iconic.
- [35:38]
B
She wouldn't even, like, take off work and be like, you called what? I'm like, the radio station. And there's like, competitions in Hollywood and, like, like, we have to pay $1,000 if I win. But, like, I was like, fuck them. And then I would get Like, I would win. And my mom's like, I'm not paying shit. Like, there's no way. But you know what? You do, you kid. Yeah. Very grateful for that. If I ever do have kids, I would take a lot from her, like, accepting this. But not for me.
- [36:03]
A
Not for me, not for me. Don't want that. Do you have any advice for single people?
- [36:09]
B
I think it's different for everybody. And it depends. I think, like, where you live, if you're dating, the dating pool is different everywhere. I think, like, as long as you don't, like, settle, I think that's like, a big thing. Especially with, like, trans girls. No matter where you are in your transition, like, it's a lot of, like. And I mean, like, for women in general, it's like, a lot of, like, I'm just speaking from the trans experience. Like, upkeep, bro. To leave the fucking house. Like, I'm not gonna be like. Like, spending thousands of dollars on myself when, like, you're being, like, a loser dickhead fuck. And it's like. Like, you have to really take yourself out of it and look at it in a bird's eye view and be like, is this worth it? Like, is the breadcrumbing worth it from the fucking bassist in a band that never gets a gig? Like, it's probably not. Yeah. And, like, sometimes the people that you least expected are the ones that were meant for you. You. Sometimes patterns don't work for a reason. Switch it up a little bit. It's feeling warm and cozy. It's probably good. Butterflies aren't always, like, the best sign when it makes you sweat on the top of your lip and you're getting a little nervous. Probably run the other way. You know, it'll be, like, intriguing and fun for a second, but.
- [37:27]
A
But ultimately probably bad. That was the thing I had to learn that butterflies are bad. If someone is triggering something in your nervous system that's, like, making you like, I need to get out of here, or, I don't want to go, or that's. You probably don't want to go, and you probably should not go.
- [37:42]
B
Your body's physically shaking you. It's like, I will leave if you don't, like, get the fuck out of here.
- [37:48]
A
Out. I did love that you said you invested so much in yourself. Yeah. That, like, other people should meet you there.
- [37:55]
B
Yeah.
- [37:56]
A
Because whether or not you've had surgery or not, you are an investment. You're doing work. You're living life. You should at least go out with somebody who wants to meet You. There's. Who wants to treat you nice for the hour or two that you're together 100.
- [38:11]
B
It doesn't even have to be, like, surgical. Like, it can be, like, mental. If you're investing in therapy, if you're trying to, like, spiritually involve. If you're trying to, like, up your game and work, if you're like, you. Everybody on this fucking planet should be an investment to themselves. If you're not gonna meet me there and you don't add to my life and I don't. A lot of people say that, but it's real. Once you get older, you're like, you're not adding shit to my life.
- [38:34]
A
Yeah. Up.
- [38:35]
B
Why do I want to, like, go on a second date with you? Like, no. Like, absolutely not.
- [38:41]
A
Kim Cattrall has one of my favorite quotes where she says, I'm going to butcher it. But it's essentially, I'm not doing something that's not fun for even a second.
- [38:49]
B
Yeah.
- [38:49]
A
And I think we should all live like that. I'm not doing it unless it's fun and we're having a nice time. And you're treating me well. Because if you're treating me like, what are we doing? Yeah.
- [39:00]
B
And sometimes, like, I agree. Sometimes I literally even feel that, like. Like, if I don't add to that person's life, if I can't. Like, there were. There was, like, a couple of times where I've met somebody where I'm like, you know, like, you're a good guy, but I feel like we're just not the same. There's no. The makeup is not. The foundation can't even be laid.
- [39:22]
A
Like.
- [39:23]
B
Like, this is not gonna work. Or, like, you can tell by, like, the way a guy talks to you, or you're like, oh, maybe you're looking for somebody else that can put up with that. Or, like, maybe add to your fantasy with that, because you'll get elbowed in the chin real quick. Not for me. Not for me.
- [39:43]
A
I'll hit you.
- [39:45]
B
I'm violent. No. But, yeah, both ways. If you're not adding. If I'm not adding, like, peace out and chill. Yeah. Yeah, I like that.
- [39:56]
A
I. When I was dating, was not good at that. I was truly not good at peace out. Goodbye. I'd be like, no, we'll work on this. Yeah. We'll make that foundation. This house will stand. I will triumph. And it's like, for what? For what? That's not a triumph. Winning somebody over is not a triumph. Meeting somebody halfway and them wanting what you're giving is. That's winning. At least that's what I think.
- [40:20]
B
Did you ever, like, go through those experiences and try to, like, learn from it or something and, like, add it to the next? Do you feel like that, like, there were, like, different leveling ups of like, I'm not doing that because the last guy. Yes. Okay. So there were, like, examples of, like, okay, that taught me a little bit. So it wasn't all negative.
- [40:36]
A
Yes. It wasn't all bad because, like, I'll be in therapy and I'll say X, Y and Z happened to. My therapist will be like, well, remember when that happened with this person? And I'm like, yes, that was a lesson and I need to carry it on to this one.
- [40:51]
B
Yes.
- [40:52]
A
Yeah.
- [40:52]
B
It took me a while to, like, learn that and be like, oh, these are, like repeating offenders. These are people that are showing up into your life in different forms because you're not taking it. Like, I had to learn that quick.
- [41:05]
A
Yes.
- [41:06]
B
Especially after transitioning. Like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Like, you are literally in a cloak and you are the same person. Like, no, I'm good. But yeah, lessons.
- [41:16]
A
Lessons and learning. That's the basis of life. And it's beautiful.
- [41:21]
B
A haiku poem.
- [41:24]
A
I'm curious, how did you get into drag?
- [41:27]
B
It was not too long after Idol, actually. I was 18 years old. Well, 17 when I did Idol. Then I turned 18, and then I started my first drag show at 21. I was going at 20, like, just sneaking through the back of Mickey's, But I saw Raven, who I'm, like, a huge fan of. I would just, like, watch Raven.
- [41:46]
A
Was this at Showgirls?
- [41:47]
B
Showgirls at Mickey's and WeHo. I was obsessed with her makeup, so I would just, like, sit there and watch her do her makeup. They were super kind enough to let me, like, come early and, like, see them how they do. Entered a competition with Laganja Estranja. She was like my homegirl back then in a drag scene. And then won my first competition. And then it just kept, like, snowballing after that. And I hosted, like, my own show in Costa Mesa from, like, four people for, like, a good, like, five, six months. And then it started growing, like, just, like, organically from there. And then I incorporated my singing into it, which kind of, like, pulled me apart from everybody else with, like, Vicky Vox and Calpurnia Adams. Love them. Super big inspirations. And that's just how it all just kind of snowballed. Right after Idol, it's just like, boom, boom. Like, I just like, was like, I love makeup. I love singing. What the fuck am I gonna do with this?
- [42:39]
A
And what was your experience like on Idol? Idol seems like a huge machine. Truly just churn out so many fucking people.
- [42:46]
B
Huge machine. I was a baby. I remember being like, I'm gonna get on that show when I'm old enough. Then they had, like, that run of American Juniors for a year, and I'm like, gotta do that. My mom's like, no, the fuck you're not. She's like, grow up first, graduate. So don't even have my ged, but.
- [43:03]
A
You don't need it.
- [43:04]
B
You don't need it. Plot twist. No. But, yeah, like, it was super huge. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I just knew that I wanted to sing, do something with it. And that was like. I was like one of those kids that would call, like, radio stations for, like, singing competitions. Needed to get out of where I was from somehow. And the opportunity presented itself when they were doing auditions in San Diego when I was. Was 16. Made it to Hollywood Week, then, then got kicked off and then came back the year after. And just, like. Just, like, got. Got me in front of, like, millions of people. And then I started doing YouTube and then drag came right after that.
- [43:40]
A
Who were the judges when you were on?
- [43:42]
B
I got the last OG judges. Paula Simon and Randy. It was the year before they switched it up. But, yeah, loved Paula. That was my girlfriend.
- [43:50]
A
I love Paula. Paula is so. I don't want to say spacey, but, like, she's just a lady who really lives in her own world, and I love that for her.
- [44:00]
B
And weirdly good at TikTok. Like, I'm like, who the fuck is behind this? Like, she's like, on top of probably her. Her everything on TikTok.
- [44:09]
A
I'm not on TikTok.
- [44:10]
B
You're not?
- [44:11]
A
I don't do it.
- [44:12]
B
Oh, my God. Well, I haven't posted in, like, a few months, but I get it. It's just kind of like, do you scroll at least?
- [44:18]
A
No, no, it's because I've explained it before. The interface is, like, in dark mode, so. And my phone is not in D. Yeah. Because the dark doesn't give me the dopamine that I want. I like it light and bright and airy.
- [44:31]
B
Good for you. I wake up and fudgeing. Scroll for coffee.
- [44:35]
A
I scroll on Instagram. I love Instagram. And it all aggregates to Instagram. I'm just very late on trends.
- [44:41]
B
Yeah. Reels. Instagram, reels. Yep.
- [44:43]
A
Love them. Love them. Love them, love them.
- [44:45]
B
Same.
- [44:46]
A
So you did a movie in South Africa, which is really fudgeing. Cool. Is acting something you want to get into a little bit more?
- [44:52]
B
Yeah, that's what I want to make. Like, acting is what I want to make my main like career. So like, I want to have that be my main focus and touring be kind of like my day job. I love touring. Like I'm never going to stop doing that. But like, I use my career as like kind of like in like economic system.
- [45:13]
A
Okay.
- [45:13]
B
To fund my acting career. Like, I want to really take that serious and like. Yeah. So like just starting in horror. I'm a huge fan of horror movies. A huge fan of slashers. And I was like, hell yeah. Like South Africa. Like, you want me to do a movie? Are you sure? Like, I haven't had any classes.
- [45:30]
A
Me, I haven't had any classes.
- [45:32]
B
I could die.
- [45:33]
A
And here's the thing, they'll never ask you if you've had a class.
- [45:36]
B
No.
- [45:37]
A
Nope. And I've done the classes. And she's got a certificate.
- [45:40]
B
Oh my God.
- [45:41]
A
She says she can act and nobody's asked to see it.
- [45:44]
B
I can dodge the classes.
- [45:46]
A
You can definitely dodge those classes.
- [45:48]
B
Yeah.
- [45:49]
A
But what was it like shooting a scene where you had to dodge?
- [45:52]
B
It was wild. Very, like brutal. Not to give anything away, but it was very physical. And there's a fight scene in it and she's really pulling my hair really hard by my ponytail and I was like cracking my neck. I'm like, girl, I'm gonna be 36 years old. You are 27, watch the neck. But yeah, it was really physical and a lot of not having to worry about being pretty. Like, love that shit. Like, I want to get gritty and gross. I scared the shit out of a lot of the people on set though. So that's cool. They were like, are you okay? Like, that was really disturbing to watch. I was like, it's acting.
- [46:32]
A
I'm an actress. You were disturbed. I made you feel.
- [46:36]
B
Uh huh. But you people do you make people feel, don't you? No. It was fun. It was very disturbing. Very fun. We did ADR for it recently and I was just like, like gurgling water. It was super fun. Just like different thrill, like a different like rush for me. I was just having so much fun creating it, watching the blocking and other actors doing everything. I was just like, I don't know, I just had a lot of fun. And like Cape Town, like, why not? It's just dope.
- [47:08]
A
There is such a magic to making A movie or, like, a TV show that, like, people like. It is really cool to watch your stand in who kind of, like, resembles you go through the blockage.
- [47:18]
B
Yeah.
- [47:19]
A
You're like, I'm watching me, but not me. And then you get to step in and do the blocking, and then you get to have, like, conversations with the director to be like, can I say this? And it's just, like, so collaborative and just, like a magical thing. So I want more of that for you.
- [47:32]
B
I think you.
- [47:33]
A
I think you'll have fun.
- [47:34]
B
Thank you. I think so, too. Like, I always wanted to do that since I was younger. But, yeah, watching. Watching the body doubles is hilarious. I'm like, oh, they got platforms on her ass. I'm a tall bitch and a Nicole Smith ass bitch. Like, they got her in a high pony. Um. But, yeah, I'm. I'm really. I'm really looking forward to, like, taking that more serious and stuff. Like, I don't know. I wanna. Wanna do that.
- [47:57]
A
I love that you're gonna do that. Manifest it. I was once watching the monitor where my double was doing something and I was looking at it, and I was like, wow, I look so thin. And they were like, that's not you. And I was like. I was like, am I okay? We don't have playback.
- [48:16]
B
And I was like, oh, you're like, no, that's me.
- [48:18]
A
I was like, that. No, I thought that was me. Oh, yeah.
- [48:21]
B
Just K. We don't have playback.
- [48:25]
A
With touring. I don't know if you feel this way, but the older I get, the more I'm like, this shit's fucking exhausting. I am so tired when I come back now. In my 20s, I was fine. Yeah, I could bounce. I, like, fly back on a Sunday, be working again on a Monday. But now I'm like, oh, boy. I need to take a day and really recuperate.
- [48:46]
B
Yeah, I have a cramp in my neck as I'm speaking to you right now. I swear. Where? It's like, it's not the same in your 30s. And I remember Bianca telling me that, like, oh, yeah. Mm. Just wait. I'm like, yeah, right.
- [48:59]
A
But it's the funky hotel beds, the plane, your knees bent for, like, six hours, you not getting enough water, not getting enough sleep, and then performing, and then your voice kind of, like, blows out sometime. It's a lot.
- [49:14]
B
It's a lot. And it's mostly the traveling for me.
- [49:16]
A
Yes.
- [49:17]
B
Because the performing is fun and, like, we could do that, like, in our sleep and stuff, but it's like traveling and then, like, flight delays and then the stress with that and then handling, like, not to be like, oh, whoa, whoa, poor me. Like, I'm. But it's like, it fucks you up if you do, like, four days in a row. Like, that will really, like, send you into, like, a week of sleep.
- [49:36]
A
Especially if you do different cities, those four days, like, if you stay there, that's one thing. You kind of, like, catch up on time or whatever. But like, like, you leave after the show, you're in a different city. You leave after that city, that 5:00am.
- [49:49]
B
Pickup, you're, like, lovely.
- [49:50]
A
My God. Oh, 5:00am pickups can suck my dick. My God, they suck. The sun hasn't come up yet, and you're like, will I ever see the sun again?
- [49:59]
B
Where am I? Who am I? Where's my mom? I need her. It's a lot. The traveling is a lot. And I think, like, that's what I was, like, kind of, like, putting into perspective. I'm like, how long do you want to do this? Like, what is your main, like, goal in life? Attack that. Like, like, doesn't mean I'm gonna stop doing that. But it's also, like, put your energy into this and see what comes and cool things are coming. And I'm like, oh, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna fucking take it serious. But I still love touring.
- [50:27]
A
Like, I also really love Tori. I know I just shit on it real hard.
- [50:30]
B
Fuck you, Tori.
- [50:31]
A
I love the love hate. It is a love hate. And I. I just put up some, like, boundaries for myself. Like, I stopped doing meet and greets because there was just something about doing a show, doing a meet and greet, and doing a show and then doing a meet and greet that I was like, so now I've tacked on an extra two hours of not even performing, but, like, being on.
- [50:53]
B
Yeah.
- [50:53]
A
Because I would hate for someone to come to a show, do a meet and greet, pay the extra, and I'm just like, no, nice to meet you. And it's like, no, I'm going to engage with you. I want to talk to you. I want you to have an experience. But I'm like, I can't. I just physically can't do that part anymore.
- [51:07]
B
I would even argue that, like, the meet and greet is part of the performance because you are on. And remember Bianca telling me, like, as soon as you get into that car and, like, if you get picked up from a promoter or somebody that's, like, linked with the venue, you are on, you are on.
- [51:19]
A
Yes.
- [51:20]
B
Have to Be pleasant. You have to be nice. My mom used to tell me that too. But it's like, you always. I always have to be on, like, as soon as there are baggage or something, you're like, how are you?
- [51:30]
A
Did you have a good day?
- [51:31]
B
Yeah.
- [51:32]
A
And it's funny to be like, yes, being polite is part of the job. But, like, it is, is. And there are times where, like, you know, someone's picked me up for a show or whatever. I don't feel like talking, I'm tired. But it's like, well, I'm not going to be an to you. I will engage. I can shut down in the green.
- [51:51]
B
Room that you just stare.
- [51:53]
A
You just stare at a wall. And they're like, you're on in five.
- [51:56]
B
And you're like, yeah, yes, let me conjure this somehow. Yes, let me brew this shit up. It's pretty trippy. It's fucked up for the psyche too, a little bit. Because you're like, if you are having a bad day, no one gives a fuck.
- [52:09]
A
No, they don't give a.
- [52:10]
B
Don't. They don't. Especially if they're meeting you. Like, they're like having that, like, 10 second experience with you or a minute experience with you. And you have to make it work. Like, they're paying for that.
- [52:19]
A
They're paying for it. So you have to make it special.
- [52:21]
B
Sure.
- [52:22]
A
So that's why I was like, I simply cannot do that anymore. When you toured, well, you were with other Drag Race girls, but you've toured alone. Yes.
- [52:31]
B
Yeah, I tour with, like, a band usually, or like, all just, like, like, just alone. It's hard.
- [52:37]
A
How do you feel after doing a show where, like, there's hundreds or thousands of people who are so excited to see you and then you're just alone in the hotel room after?
- [52:47]
B
It used to trip me the fuck out.
- [52:50]
A
Yup.
- [52:50]
B
Like tripping.
- [52:51]
A
It still trips me out.
- [52:52]
B
Does it? Yeah, it just like, I think it was like when I started drinking a lot, like, not to, like, pull it back to that, but I would be like, fuck it, just go find the local bar or something and get your mind off of this cat is like, why? Like, why me? I would sit here, be there, be like, dude, you're so, like, messy. And like, if they really knew who you were, like, it's like, yeah, you.
- [53:11]
A
Just start talking to yourself because you're just alone.
- [53:14]
B
Yeah.
- [53:15]
A
And then the silence is loud.
- [53:17]
B
Louder than the fucking cheering. I start turning into like Marilyn Monroe or like that, like, imposter syndrome, where, like, if they really knew do they know? Who do they love? Like, like, we're all, like, just people. And, like, not to act. Like, I'm like, oh, fucking. But it's like, this is wild. And, like, why me? I would always think that, like. And, like, I started to resent it a lot, but, yeah, now I'm like, order Taco Bell. Shut up. Go live if you feel lonely or, like, call your mom or something. But, like, I still do feel it, though. Like, if it's a big show, I'm like, oh, like, it's so quiet. You're just like, take your lashes off and go take a bath. Like, just like, chill out. Order some food. Yeah, chill out.
- [53:57]
A
Just like, be one with your. I said this before in this. In this episode. Be one with yourself. Check in. Yeah, but it's nice to have a partner because now I can call him after shows and be like, can I, like, decompress? And he's always like, did you talk to a weirdo in the audience? And then I'll, like, tell him the story. And then it's just like, nice that someone. I think the silence was loud when I was single because I was like, who do I have to share this with?
- [54:22]
B
Yeah.
- [54:22]
A
Because it is a very isolating experience.
- [54:24]
B
Yeah.
- [54:25]
A
And I'm like, who, me? A friend? Do I call a friend?
- [54:28]
B
Yeah.
- [54:29]
A
And I'm sure a friend would be happy to receive a phone call, but, like, in my head I'd be like, well, they shouldn't have to support me like that.
- [54:36]
B
Yeah.
- [54:37]
A
Then in hindsight, I could have. It would have probably been nice.
- [54:40]
B
Yeah. You sit with that and you have. And like, that's like, energy exchange. You sometimes take on, like, people's, like, stories or, like, their energy when they're giving it to you and you're like. And I, like, start rolling it. Yeah. You have to sit with that. It is good to have a partner that, though. To kind of like, just like, sit there and listen again. The cozy and healthiness, like, that type of shit. It's like, oh, that's. That's a boyfriend dude.
- [55:03]
A
Yes. And at first I was like, well, I don't want to bother you if I'm, like, out of town and it's late at night and he's like, it's la. It's earlier for me. Please call me after your shows if you want to.
- [55:13]
B
And I was like, okay, I love you.
- [55:16]
A
Yes, I do. He's so wonderful and kind of.
- [55:20]
B
I love that.
- [55:20]
A
And it's funny because when I was single, I was like, I want someone who's kind and nice to me.
- [55:26]
B
Yeah.
- [55:27]
A
And then I kept dating like, awful assholes. And now that I have someone who's like, kind and wonderful in therapy, I'm like, do I deserve it? Which is like.
- [55:37]
B
Because you're not used to it. Hey, like, you're like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, you deserve that shit. You wanted that. You manifested that.
- [55:45]
A
I did, you know?
- [55:46]
B
Yes. And you got it.
- [55:48]
A
I got it. And it's wonderful. What's it like traveling together?
- [55:57]
B
I like, love turbulence on a plane.
- [56:00]
A
You're the only person. That's the wildest thing I've ever heard.
- [56:04]
B
I love, like, feel. I love roller coasters and stuff. And I know, like, I feel like I have like a deep knowing that we're all gonna be okay. It just feels scary. I'm a thrill seeker. And he like, freaks out. Out. We travel really well together, but he's, he's afraid of flying a bit. So, like, it's very, like, I calm him down and stuff. But traveling is easy. But like, the flying, it's like a lot of like, I'm like, you're chill, like it's fine. And like, he'll have his like AirPods in. And I'm like, we're going through rough air. We're gonna, we're gonna hit a few bumps. The pilot just said, so I'm just letting you know, like, it's gonna be fine. That's really sweet, but it's gonna cool. And you, do you travel with your boyfriend?
- [56:41]
A
Yes. And I was a little nervous about it because I was like, I have my traveling down to a science.
- [56:47]
B
Yeah.
- [56:47]
A
I have a bag that's already pre packed with like makeup and like my toiletries and shit. So I don't have to like continuously like move things from one bag to another. I only bring a carry on. I refuse to check a bag. I get to the airport, well, it used to be 15 minutes before boarding, but now I gotta go a little earlier because Delta keeps leaving early. They keep scheduling flights and then leaving five minutes early. So now I was like, like, I'll make the adjustment boarding early too.
- [57:14]
B
I'm like, what the fuck? You can do that?
- [57:15]
A
Yes. I'm like, I need those five minutes. Those five minutes are prime real estate for me. And I've been left, I've been left one too many times. So I was like, let me get.
- [57:23]
B
There a little earlier.
- [57:25]
A
So I was like, a little worried about that. But then he was like, hey, what if we got there a half hour before boarding? That would make me Feel more comfortable. And I was like, I think I can do that. And then he's super chill to travel with. And I was like, whoa, that was so easy. You could come with me anywhere. It was nice because I've traveled with friends where I'm like, I'll never go to another place with you again. This was awful. You're bad on a plane, you're bad in an airport, you're bad in the car.
- [57:54]
B
I hate you.
- [57:55]
A
But you're nice at a restaurant in la.
- [57:57]
B
It tells you a lot about a person, the way they travel. And I always say my favorite first. And this is gonna sound insane, a first date to learn about somebody is going to a theme park.
- [58:06]
A
Park.
- [58:07]
B
Or a second date, you can go do coffee or whatever and be like, let me learn how you act. And, like, you're. Let me learn your patience levels. Let me learn, like, what you're afraid of, what you love, like, what you do. You. Are you, like, into the games? Are you. Are you rude to other people? Like, it's like, there's a lot of frustrating, like, specifically Six Flags because there's a lot of walking and a lot of, like. Like, what kind of person are you? Like, what are you gonna give? And I've learned a lot about a person, son, after doing that, after, like, a second date, and I'm like, never again.
- [58:36]
A
At first, I was like, wild. That's wild behavior to go on a second date at Six Flags. But the more you explained it, I was like, that is actually a good litmus test. Are you going to be mad that we have to stand in line to get on this ride? Are you going to complain? Are you a scaredy cat? Like, do you. Are you rude to children or whatever? That's. Honestly, that's a good. Yeah.
- [59:00]
B
Do you want to get a fast pass or do you want to wait?
- [59:02]
A
Yeah.
- [59:02]
B
Are you cheap? Are you impatient? Are you mean? Yeah. Are you cheap?
- [59:09]
A
Always get the fast pass. Yeah, you have to. I haven't been to Six Flags in so long.
- [59:14]
B
It's been a minute. It's been a. We just went to Universal recently.
- [59:18]
A
I've never been to the. The park.
- [59:21]
B
You've been to CityWalk?
- [59:22]
A
Yeah, I've been to CityWalk. I haven't been in the park. Is it fun?
- [59:25]
B
It's just. It's universal.
- [59:27]
A
Okay.
- [59:27]
B
It's giving. Wait two hours each line.
- [59:30]
A
Oh, my God.
- [59:31]
B
But yeah, again, just, like. And learning people's patience levels and just like. Like, let's just maybe not. And walk around the park and go on, like, three rides. So a total of like, what, six hours would be enough. And then we'll spend like an hour seeing the park and we can go. But it's very. Just wait. Unless the group that you're with wants to all get a fast pass.
- [59:51]
A
You gotta get the fast pass. I also, like, an amusement park will show you if someone is indecisive.
- [59:59]
B
Yes.
- [59:59]
A
Because it's like, oh, do you want to ride this or do you want to do that? And, oh, whatever you're feeling.
- [60:03]
B
No.
- [60:04]
A
What are you feeling? I asked you first.
- [60:06]
B
Yes. Are you a take charge person? Are you a. You can figure it out. Or like, do you really think, like a fast pass is worth like 200? And so. And I'm like, yes. Yeah, we're getting the gold for the.
- [60:17]
A
Experience, for not waiting. Yes. I want to do that and I want to park real close.
- [60:22]
B
Yeah. I stopped talking to a guy after. After I was like, oh, I hate you. Like, I'm never gonna do anything with you again. So we might as well just cut it now. Like, can't. Yeah.
- [60:31]
A
Adore. I fucking love that.
- [60:33]
B
Yeah, it's a vibe.
- [60:35]
A
Well, we have come to the end.
- [60:40]
B
Yes, we have.
- [60:41]
A
Can I ask a question that I ask all my guests? Would you date me?
- [60:45]
B
You?
- [60:45]
A
Me?
- [60:46]
B
Yes. A FastPass holder. Fuck yes. Travels well, knows the touring line. We're full.
- [60:53]
A
Fast pass buyer. Do you have anything you want to promote, Adore?
- [60:59]
B
Not really. Just my movie in December. And yeah, just getting into acting.
- [61:08]
A
Book her.
- [61:09]
B
Book me.
- [61:09]
A
If you're a casting director, listening or watching, book her.
- [61:13]
B
Book me. I'm ready.
- [61:14]
A
Also book me.
- [61:15]
B
Yeah, book on.
- [61:16]
A
Times have been tough. If you like this episode of why Won't yout Date Me? You can like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe, you can give me five stars, Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty, hitting on me to why won't you date me? PodcastMail.com I will read it out loud. Also, please keep them short. Some people have been writing essays and Mars doesn't want that. Okay. This person writes, hey, my name's Dale, but you can call me Butter Cookie.
- [61:43]
B
Fucking duh.
- [61:45]
A
You ever had a man untie a helium balloon and blow it up your cooch hole? It tightens up so good. With the magic of helium, all your pink insides tighten up with anticipation. I truss you up like a Thanksgiving turkey and stick that balloon deep in your cavity hole. As I casually try to put you in the oven at 350, you become offended and demand an orgasm. You start humping as you come and pop the balloon. You've ruined my balloon, Nicole. I was gonna give you my gravy and you.
- [62:18]
B
You pop the balloon.
- [62:20]
A
I guess there's levels to things like this. I shouldn't come here expecting to know the official rules of balloon hole. That's a lot. But at least you got yours. I touch your nose and wink slyly at you. You grin and audibly fart from Butter Cookie. Butter Cookie. That was wild. But I liked it.
- [62:36]
B
Yeah.
- [62:37]
A
Okay. Bye. Bye. Oh, you've been listening to why won't you date me with me, Nicole? This show is produced and edited by Mars with executive producer Anya Kanofskaya. It's engineered by Casey Donahue with guest research by Lindsay Kempf. Our VP of content at Headgum is Katie Moose, and our thief music is arranged by Mike Comate. Ah, thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. See you then. Okay, bye.
- [63:11]
B
Bye. That was a Headgum podcast.
- [63:17]
A
Today's segment is brought to you by Bumble, the go to dating app for finding love. If you're looking for someone who can actually match your silly Bumble is the place to find them. Prompts and shared interests make it so much easier to see someone's vibe before you even chat. Thinking about dating again? Take this as your sign. Start your love story on Bumble.