Podcast Summary

Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: How to Trick Your Partner Into Better Taste (w/ Bobby Berk)
Release Date: December 26, 2025
Host: Nicole Byer
Guest: Bobby Berk (Emmy Award–winning interior designer, Queer Eye, and new show "Junk or Jackpot")

Episode Overview

This episode features Nicole Byer in conversation with Bobby Berk. They candidly and hilariously discuss the messiness of love, long-term relationships, "tricking" your partner into having better taste, and how living spaces and organization can impact romance. Bobby shares behind-the-scenes stories from his personal life and career—including his new HGTV show "Junk or Jackpot"—and offers advice for singles and couples alike. The tone is open, irreverent, and deeply relatable, with both hosts sharing personal anecdotes and banter throughout.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Bobby Berk & "Junk or Jackpot"

• [03:32] Nicole: Brings up Bobby's new show, asking for the premise.
• [03:39] Bobby: The show helps people with overwhelming collections—"sort of like hoarders with money"—figure out what’s valuable, sell off treasures, and use those funds for home renovations.
  • "Some of them, it’s destroyed their relationships… I help them go through it… experts figure out if anything they have is actually worth anything." [04:30]
  • Inspiration came from John Cena and his own collecting habits.

2. Collections & Relationships

• [05:33] Nicole: Admits to hoarding clothing.
• [05:44] Bobby: Shares about a collector who turned her entire home into a fashion archive, impacting her relationship.
  • "Her home became… her business. Her girlfriend had literally, like, a little corner for her, poor girlfriend." [06:10]
  • Nicole: "I have so much fucking clothing." [06:21]

3. Organization and Couples

• [07:03] Nicole: Asks if lack of organization can cause fights.
• [07:11] Bobby: Admits to being somewhat Type A/Virgo but learned to tolerate hidden chaos.
  • "If the chaos is hidden, I've learned to let it go. Where before, I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking about that cabinet." [07:50]
• Both laugh about partners who make messes in specific (like water on the bathroom floor).

4. Bobby’s Relationship Origin & Secrets to Longevity

• [08:40] Bobby: Met his husband on Gay.com 22 years ago—pre-iPhone.
  • "Our first week dating, he actually had to use his student loan money to pay my cell phone bill." [09:02]
• [10:21] Bobby: The "serious" secret: "We prioritize each other. I prioritize him over everything and everyone else… We never poop in front of each other. I think that's a really big deal." [10:21]
• Hilarious detour about couples who are comfortable using the bathroom in front of each other.
  • Nicole: "When I'm shitting, I'm going for the gold. I'm like ratatouille." [11:07]

5. Traveling as a Couple

• [13:10] Nicole: Asks if they travel well together.
• [13:20] Bobby: Didn't use to; he's Type A, his husband is more carefree.
  • "Now he's just conceded, and he knows that my way is best." [13:40]

6. Bad Dates and Red Flags

• [13:47] Nicole: Asks about bad dates.
• [14:01] Bobby: Was a "serial monogamist," often dated men who needed a place to live.
  • Shares a story about a date where the man only talked about himself—no questions back.
  • "This guy was just like, me, me, me... I’m pretty sure everything you just told me was a lie." [14:44]
• They riff on the pleasure of catching someone in a lie.

7. Dating & Relationship Advice

• [19:55] Nicole: Asks for advice for single people.
• [20:11] Bobby: "Keep yourself open. Don’t allow yourself to be jaded."
  • Nicole’s mom: "It takes more energy to frown than it does to smile." [20:34]
• [24:32] Bobby: On “tricking” his husband into good taste:
  • "Just give him three choices. Two being really bad, and one being the one I would choose." [24:32]
  • Nicole: "That’s a funny way to trick somebody." [24:41]
  • Bobby: "What I do is trick. I’m a little trickster." [25:11]

8. Proposal and Wedding Story

• [25:28] Bobby: His husband proposed during a surprise sailing trip and wedding in Cabo—the day after taking (way too strong) pot brownies.
  • "I was scooting across the floor because the gravity of the earth was so strong… Dewey’s on one knee, then leans over the side of the boat and throws up. And then everyone throws up. So that was my proposal." [26:11]
  • "As the doors open, the wedding’s there, the wedding’s happening, friends are there waiting!" [28:13]
  • On not planning the wedding: "There was a split second where I was like, he stole my wedding from me… then that quickly turned to ‘thank God he did’." [29:12]

9. Gift-Giving, Romance, and Partnership

• [36:03] Bobby: Neither of them is particularly "romantic" by traditional standards.
  • "Our form of intimacy and the reason why our relationship works is because we put each other first." [36:19]
  • They don’t do holiday or birthday presents—prefer experiences together.
  • "If people are like, oh, well that must be nice to have money to travel—yes, but if you didn’t spend money on Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, anniversary gifts… girl, you could go on a vacation." [37:48]
  • "Don’t put stupid pressures on him or her or them or they." [38:06]
• [40:06] Nicole: Admits she sometimes just asks directly for flowers on Valentine’s Day.
  • Bobby: "If you want something, why make him guess and then be disappointed… just tell him." [40:22]

10. Home Design and Taste in Couples

• [23:39] Nicole: Asks Bobby about merging tastes as a designer in his relationship.
• [23:39] Bobby: "I have molded my husband into having good taste… His fashion sense is better than mine now… his home decor was non-existent." [23:39]
  • Uses the "three choices" trick as a way to shape his partner’s selections.

11. Moving in Together: Advice for Maximalists vs. Minimalists

• [49:00] Audience question: Advice for couples moving in together with different aesthetics.
• [49:28] Bobby: Try to agree on a color story, be willing to compromise, and, humorously, “whoever has the best taste wins.”
  • Shares an anecdote: "This woman was upset her boyfriend didn’t care about the home’s look—I was like 'marry him.' It’s great, you get to do what you want!" [50:22]

12. Red Flags in Dating

• [44:45] Nicole: Asks Bobby about red flags.
• [44:57] Bobby: "Narcissism… talking too much about themselves, always being the victim in a problem they created." [44:57]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On longevity in relationships:
  “We prioritize each other. I prioritize him over everything and everyone else… We never poop in front of each other. I think that’s a really big deal.” – Bobby, [10:21]

• On “tricking” a partner’s taste:
  "I have molded my husband into having good taste...I've learned to give him three choices. Two being really bad, and one being the one I would choose...What I do is trick. I’m a little trickster." – Bobby, [24:32] / [25:11]

• On bad dates:
  “This guy was just like, me, me, me... I’m pretty sure everything you just told me was a lie.” – Bobby, [14:44]

• On gifts vs. experiences:
  “If you didn’t spend money on Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, anniversary gifts... girl, you could go on a vacation. And the time you spend uninterrupted... just is worth far more than getting the perfect table for Valentine’s.” – Bobby, [37:48]

• On direct communication in relationships:
  “If you want something, why make him guess and then be disappointed... just tell him.” – Bobby, [40:22]

Highlighted Segments & Timestamps

• Intro, John Cena’s inspiration for the show: [03:39] – [05:03]
• Clothing archival hoarding story: [05:37] – [06:32]
• Virgo habits and organization: [07:11] – [07:50]
• Meeting & early years with husband: [08:40] – [09:14]
• Secrets to long-term relationships: [10:21] – [11:07]
• Hilarious bathroom boundary discussion: [10:41] – [11:23]
• Traveling together, learning compromises: [13:10] – [13:40]
• The “three choices” taste trick: [24:32] – [25:11]
• Wild proposal & impromptu wedding story: [25:28] – [29:31]
• Gift-giving philosophy & experiences over things: [36:03] – [38:06]
• Advice for couples with clashing aesthetics: [49:00] – [50:35]
• Red flags in dating: [44:45] – [45:38]

Takeaways & Advice for Listeners

• Prioritize your partner and the relationship over social conventions about romance.
• Be open and direct about what you want in a relationship.
• When merging tastes, compromise and gentle nudging can work—sometimes with humor and strategy.
• Don’t let gifting rituals or mismatched aesthetics become unnecessary sources of pressure.
• "Experience" gifts and uninterrupted time together can be more meaningful than objects.
• Red flags: narcissism, perpetual victimhood, and lack of curiosity or care about the other’s experience.

Host’s Final Question:
“Would you date me?”
Bobby’s Answer: “Of course. Yes. Virgo power.” [51:14]

Promotion:
Watch Bobby Berk’s new show "Junk or Jackpot," now on HGTV, HBO Max, and Discovery+.

This summary distills the content, tone, and highlights of the episode—bringing Nicole and Bobby’s humor and heartfelt insights for those who may have missed the episode, or want the best moments at a glance.