Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: "Never Dated (w/ Kim Chi)"
Release Date: October 24, 2025
Guest: Kim Chi – Drag Queen, Makeup Mogul, Author

Episode Overview

This episode features the hilarious and candid Kim Chi, renowned drag queen from RuPaul’s Drag Race (Season 8), makeup brand founder, and author. Host Nicole Byer and Kim dive into the realities of dating (or, in Kim's case, not dating), the complexities of relationships, personal insecurities, and the highs and lows of drag life, all delivered in their trademark witty, open-hearted style. The episode covers everything from board game compatibility to lap dance shenanigans, and offers a refreshingly honest look at why romantic connections—and being single—can be so complicated.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Kim Chi’s Romantic Resume: Never Dated

• Kim's Dating Status ([04:10]): Kim reveals she's never dated anyone, not out of disinterest, but because no one has ever reciprocated her crushes.

  • "I've never actually dated anyone." – Kim Chi [04:10]

• Trauma & Rejection ([04:25]): Past experiences with unrequited crushes and the fear of being hurt have kept Kim from pursuing romantic interests.

  • "Every single guy that I’ve had a crush on has never, ever been interested in me...So then I don’t want to get hurt. Even if I like someone, I’ll never act on it." – Kim Chi [04:25]

• The Apps Aren’t Helping ([06:00]): Kim tried Hinge with zero matches:

  • "In over a month, I have, like, not gotten, like, a single ding on my profile." – Kim Chi [06:20]

• Frame of Mind: Kim shares that she’s open to dating, but mostly out of curiosity. She questions if she truly wants it, given she’s never experienced it, and reflects on how media shapes desires for relationships ([13:17], [13:39]).

  • "Because I’ve never dated, I don’t know: do I want it or not?" – Kim Chi [13:17]

The Nuances of Relationships and Single Life

• Comparing Singlehood to Coupled Friends ([05:02], [13:39]):

  • Kim notices all her drag sisters are “booed up” and feels like the odd one out.
  • They discuss the social pressure to be in a relationship and how some couples seem unnaturally dependent.
  • "At the end of the hangout, they go home together and then you’re like, just riding in a car alone, listening to sad music for no reason, and you’re like, huh, I wonder what it’s like." – Kim Chi [13:39]

• Unhealthy Relationship Magic ([15:39]):

  • Nicole and Kim riff on people staying in relationships for great sex, even when emotionally miserable.
  • "A lot of people stay in very bad relationships ‘cause they be fucking...But ooh, the dick liked me." – Nicole Byer [15:39]

Life, Career, and Drag

• Drag Origins & Stage Name ([16:03]): Kim Chi became a drag queen by accident after going out in drag for Halloween and immediately getting booked for shows.

  • "Next thing you know, I was hosting every single one of their parties." – Kim Chi [16:46]
  • Kim’s drag name almost became “Lucy Lube”—much to her and Nicole’s delight ([17:08]).

• Family Acceptance ([18:48]): Kim initially told her mom she worked in makeup, not drag. Her mother’s pragmatic approval came down to income:

  • "She asked me how much money I make...and she was like, 'Keep living your dream'." – Kim Chi [18:52]

• Success in Business ([03:19]): Kim reflects on seeing her face on cosmetic displays in stores:

  • _"Every time I pick up my prescriptions, I peruse and I go, ‘What’s new?’" — Nicole
    "It’s really cool...the store calls, like, ‘What are you doing here?’ ‘Oh, just perusing.’" – Kim Chi [03:19]

The Wild World of Internet Wellness & Conspiracies ([08:51–12:17])

• Falling Down the Rabbit Hole: Kim shares how following fitness accounts spiraled into seeing wellness and then QAnon-esque conspiracy content.

  • "From fitness accounts...to wellness...then people promoting raw milk and the carnivore diet...slowly going to a QAnon, like MAGA, like all that, you know, it’s wild." – Kim Chi [09:13]

• Dating Conspiracy Theorists: Both marvel that conspiracy theorists are rarely single—hypothesizing shared bizarre beliefs are their glue ([12:17]).

Cooking, Books, and Cottage Cheese Evangelism

• Kim’s Cookbooks & Writing ([28:30], [29:19]):

  • Has two books: a YA novel and a cookbook blending global flavors for the American kitchen.
  • "It’s a novel about a Korean American queer kid using the power of his drag queen superheroes to stop his mayor from demolishing the public local library." – Kim Chi [28:35]

• Cottage Cheese Advocacy ([21:23], [25:26]):

  • Expert-level defense of 'Good Culture' brand cottage cheese:
    • "It’s dense. It’s almost like...ricotta cheese." – Kim Chi [25:48]
  • Rants about food trends and shares a pizza crust recipe—surprisingly good, she claims ([27:49]).

Life On Tour: Drag Stories and Shenanigans

• Lap Dance Fame ([33:14]):

  • Tale of being recognized during a lap dance, and the illusion suddenly shattered:
    • "I just wanted you to be a piece of meat...and now you’ve humanized yourself." – Nicole Byer [33:48]
    • "At least wait till, like, after the lap..." – Kim Chi [34:03]

• Tour Antics ([34:15–38:34]):

  • Tales of wild hookup logistics by unnamed queens, with twinks waiting in hotel lobbies and elaborate sexcapades.
  • Meet and greet avoidance stunts—a queen faking being early to skip it:
    • "She started flipping out and saying, like, all of you guys were late...but meet and greet hasn’t even started yet." – Kim Chi [37:20]
  • Observations about newer drag queens lacking professional decorum compared to theater queens ([38:43]).

Board Games, “Litmus Test” Dates, and Friendship

• Kim’s Ideal First Date ([44:59]):

  • Board game café (RIP to the one in Glendale)—wants a date who can keep up and enjoy games.
    • "If they can’t comprehend, like, a simple rule, I know they’re not the one." – Kim Chi [45:51]

• Nicole & Kim on Games ([47:25–52:28]):

  • Hilarious stories about Mafia, Secret Hitler, and monikers—the social deduction genre is their jam.
  • They both despise Animal Crossing:
    • "I would rather get waterboarded than play Animal Crossing." – Nicole [52:06]
    • "I fucking hate Animal Crossing." – Kim Chi [51:20]

• On High Standards ([46:02], [54:33]):

  • Nicole notes Kim’s high standards aren’t negative but a reflection that “if you can’t fit into my very fun world, not worth it.”

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "Give up." – Kim Chi’s advice for single people [53:30]
• "If you’re truly single out there, gay and available, slide into my DM. Because not that many people slide into my DM, so you might have a chance." – Kim Chi [53:37]
• "Show me who you are as a person, and I will decide if it’s for me or not." – Kim Chi, on what to send in DMs [54:28]
• "This is the litmus test. If you can listen to me talk for an hour, go ahead and slide on in." – Nicole Byer [53:59]
• "Tim Nook can suck my dick." – Nicole Byer [51:57]
• "I would rather work at McDonald's." – Kim Chi, on Animal Crossing [52:10]
• "You got to find someone to match your freak." – Nicole Byer [12:28]

Important Segment Timestamps

• 03:19 — Kim Chi on seeing her makeup in stores
• 04:10 – 06:20 — Kim’s personal dating history (or lack thereof)
• 13:17 – 13:39 — Do I even want to date? Media & relationship expectations
• 15:39 — Staying in bad relationships for the sex
• 16:03 – 17:31 — Drag origin story & stage name choices
• 18:48 — Telling her parents about drag
• 21:23 – 28:03 — Cottage cheese stanning and recipe talk
• 28:30 & 29:19 — Kim’s books: YA novel and cookbook
• 33:14 – 34:03 — Being recognized during a lap dance
• 34:15 – 38:34 — Backstage and afterparty tour shenanigans
• 44:59 – 47:02 — Kim’s ideal first date: board games
• 47:25 – 52:28 — Board game talk, hating Animal Crossing
• 53:30 — Kim’s advice for singles: “Give up.”
• 53:37 – 54:48 — Kim invites respectful (or not) DMs

Takeaways

This episode masterfully balances heartfelt honesty about self-protective habits, humor about dating and drag-world politics, and niche passions (board games, cottage cheese)—all filtered through Nicole and Kim’s irreverent comedic lens. Kim’s vulnerability about her life offstage, her refusal to settle for less, and her refusal to apologize for high standards make this a standout episode for anyone tired of dating clichés. As Nicole says, if you can enjoy their conversation, maybe you really do stand a chance.

Books & Brands Mentioned:

• "Donatella Hamachi and the Library Avengers" by Kim Chi
• "Kimchi Eats The World" by Kim Chi
• KimChi Chic Beauty (CVS, JC Penney, Ulta.com)

To connect with Kim Chi:

• "Slide into my DMs...Show me who you are as a person and I will decide if it’s for me or not." – Kim Chi [54:28]