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Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.
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This is a Headgum podcast. Do you have white men attracted to you or black? Cause you're different.
A
Ms. Pat said the same thing. She said this almost verbatim. The same, same question followed up with cause you're different. It's usually white men who. Who hit on me.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see you being a white man magnet.
A
Yeah, a white man magnet. I mean, I don't have a type, but a type has me.
B
A type has you. If I was a white man, I would be attracted to you.
A
You guys. I find as I get older, it's getting harder and harder to actually wrangle my friends. Everyone is busy. Half of them are in relationships, the group chat is a mess, and our schedules never. When we finally get a weekend on the calendar to go to Palm Springs, I am not wasting it. When time is precious with my friends, a hotel room just doesn't cut it. I want us to really live together for the weekend, not be sequestered in little hotel rooms. That's why I always look to book a home on Airbnb. I love to have a full kitchen to make our cocktails and our weird girl dinners. I need a private pool and a hot tub all to ourselves. And a gorgeous property with a view where we could take really cute pictures. Why book a room room when you can have a whole property? And what's great about Airbnb is they have a list of guest favorites. It's a badge on the app that shows the highest rated and most loved homes. It takes the guessing game out of it. If it has a badge, I know it's going to be cute, I know it's reliable, and I know we're going to have a good time. So the next time you travel, book a home on Airbnb to maximize your experience. Imagine you finally meet someone, great, things are going well, and then you realize your access to basic things like birth control or STI testing is at risk because of some lawmakers who've never met you. It's a scary reality we're living in. That's why Planned Parenthood is so important. They believe every single one of us should have the power to make decisions about our own bodies and our own futures. Whether you or your partner need birth control, STI testing and treatment, abortion, gender affirming care, or sex education, Planned Parenthood is here for you. But right now, lawmakers across the country are actively trying to prevent people from getting this essential health care. They are attacking Planned Parenthoods trying to deny access to birth control and pushing abstinence only until marriage programs, which is truly just like, wild. Because of this, millions of people could lose access to care, especially black and Latino people, people in rural areas, people with low incomes and women. Planned Parenthood believes health care is a human right. Together with people like you and me, they are fighting every day to build a future where everyone can get the care they need, no matter who they are or where they live. Supporters like you power this work. Donate to Planned Parenthood now@planned parenthood.org defend. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me?
B
Please tell me why.
A
Oh, baby. Welcome to another episode of why Won't yout Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, has been trying to figure out why I was so single. Even though you could come on a table, put a plan in it, and tell me it's pottery. My guest today is a legendary, legendary comedian, an Emmy nominated actress who you know from her roles in Curb youb Enthusiasm, the Bay and Act your Age and Young and Hungry. I did an episode. We didn't have any scenes together, but it was incredible to watch her work at the table and then watch her work at the live taping. And you can hear her every week on the podcast Two Funny Mamas. I'm so excited. It's Kim Whitley. Kim. Kim. Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim. I'm so excited.
B
I am so excited. I've never been able to hang out with you.
A
I know.
B
And this is great. I think it's you.
A
It's me. I don't think I ever told you. Watching you work was actually incredible because what you did at the table was you murdered every joke. And then at the live taping, they switched a bunch of your jokes and then you murdered those jokes and it was just so fun to watch.
B
Oh, that is so.
A
I loved it.
B
That was so kind of you.
A
My God, watching you is a masterclass. You've been doing comedy for so long. Like, that sounded rude.
B
So long.
A
But like, you just been working and you're still working and you're still touring and I love that.
B
Oh, thank you. I love watching you. You have an energy. I didn't know you, but I wanted to. And that's when you watch somebody and you want to know them, you want to meet them, it's different. It's not like you're just watching a person as like, oh, they're good. I was like, something's wrong with her. I gotta meet her.
A
And that's my favorite compliment. I was doing a show, and there was an older black lady who was sitting in the front row. And at every punchline she would go, she's stupid. And I was like, oh, I love that so much.
B
Yes.
A
And then when she didn't do it, I'd be like, well, that joke might just have to go. She didn't say I was stupid.
B
Oh, no. Were you like this as a kid?
A
Yes.
B
I could see that.
A
I've always been like this. I love talking. Teachers hated me. They'd be like, she's in everybody's business. And I was like, well, everyone's doing things wrong. I need to let them know I need to help the children.
B
Yeah, you said. What sign are you?
A
What sign? I am a Virgo.
B
Really? A funny Virgo. I know.
A
Isn't that wild? Wait, what are you?
B
I'm a Cancer Leo.
A
I don't know why I asked. I don't really know. Oh, no, I do know. Leos. Leos like to. Like to be out there and perform. Speaking of wild, you once dated a man who played for the Clippers, and you jumped over a fence slash gate to confront him to get into his house because he had another girl over. Tell me about that.
B
Wait a minute, man. You know what? I just told that story for the first time somewhere, and, man, oh, man. How does it get out? Oh, just silly. And young. And how old were you? It was very in my. Look, I wanna make it real young. I was probably 19.
A
Yeah, I was probably 45.
B
No, I was in my 30s. Young 30s. And, you know, jealous. Heard there was a girl over there. Cause my other girlfriend was dating someone on the team also. And they were parked in his SUV watching me do this crazy stuff. They set me up. Foolishness and, you know, just dramatic. I put a whole black cat suit on. I put a cape on.
A
Wait, did you really?
B
Yeah. Yeah. And I drove down and I climbed a tree to get over the fence. And then my cape got caught in the fence? No, it got caught in the tree. So I had to let the cape go. Drop down and yell and try to get him to come out, and he wouldn't come out. Then I hid behind a trash can, but my feet are too big, so my toes were sticking out. Crazy.
A
I love it.
B
Never got in.
A
Never got in?
B
No. He opened the garage to come out and. Cause it was like a townhouse. And he opened the garage to come out and I was like, aha. And I Dropped and rolled under the garage, and I ran up the little steps to go into the house. Door locked. I was like, ooh, smarter than you think.
A
Did you talk to him again after this, or was that a wrap?
B
It was pretty much a wrap, but I talked to him, but not like that.
A
What were you gonna do? What was the master plan when you got inside? Were you gonna be like, bop, bop, bop on that girl?
B
Do you think it was a plan? No. I literally was just gonna open the door and go, like, ha, ha. I am here. Who are you? And I had no plan. I had no. Like, I'm gonna fight you. It was. I think I just had to prove it. I was all about dramatics. I didn't care. I'd never been a girl who really cared about another woman. But I wanted to catch you. I wanted to go, ha, ha. I never. There's never been that person, like, I'm gonna fight you. I'm like, no, take them. If you want them, just have them.
A
You can have them, but I'm gonna make a real big show about it before you have them. Kim, that's so funny. I love that you got dressed for the event. You said, I'm gonna put on a cat suit. I'm gonna put on a cape.
B
Yes.
A
I'm gonna climb a tree.
B
I think I even had, like, the black stuff under my eye. I don't even know why that was. It was, like, ridiculous. Just a football player doing that for the sun, Kim. Not to break.
A
I don't know. Maybe he had, like, floodlights, and you were like, I don't want that to get into my eye.
B
That's what it was.
A
I don't know. It seemed like you were very prepared.
B
I was prepared.
A
I love that.
B
A little too much.
A
Kim, are you single right now? Are you dating?
B
I like to say I'm single, but, you know, I never want to put that out there. I want to feel like you're supposed to put it in the universe. I'm dating. Yeah. And not dating enough.
A
Okay.
B
I don't date. I'm not a dater, if that makes sense.
A
I think so, yeah.
B
I'm not a. Like, someone calls me. I don't catch the hints. But you have to literally say, would you like to go out to dinner? Would you like to go to a movie? Would you like to hang out? And then I can say, yes, but I'm always busy. It should have been a priority a long time ago.
A
I don't know. I think you have such a wonderful career that, you know, anybody Would be lucky to be in that orbit. And I think you focused on the career and you focused on the comedy, and maybe now is the time.
B
Maybe when my son is 15, it's easier. It's when you have a kid you're trying to sneak and not. I don't know if he's gonna be around long enough. Is this the one? And then, you know. But it's easier. He's 15 now. So if I meet someone, but then he goes, get off my mama. What? Don't do that.
A
No, you want them to get on your mama. Your mama's trying to be happy.
B
Exactly. So dating is. What about you?
A
I am in a relationship. I have a very nice man who's in my life, and he's really sweet, he's very cute. And then he likes. He likes all of this, which is nice. I've never had to make myself smaller for him.
B
How long have you been dating him?
A
It is a year and a half.
B
And.
A
Yeah, that's a long time. It's been a while. This is my longest relationship I've ever been in. It's also the healthiest. And we talk so much about our feelings to the point where I said one day, oh, what if we didn't? What if we just did it? What if we were just mad for a little bit?
B
Where did you meet him?
A
I met him on. On a. On an app. Hinge.
B
Everyone always talking about these apps.
A
Are you on the apps?
B
How are you gonna be on an app when you're a celebrity? How do you do that? What did they say? You just don't. Are you Nicole?
A
No, not on Hinge. Hinge. Truly was just like, we don't really care about you. The. What was it? Tinder. Tinder was like your catfishing. And I've said it before, but I was like, I would pick a different celebrity to Cat. I'm. This. This isn't. No, I would pick somebody much hotter.
B
That's. That's true. I would.
A
Honestly, I think a white lady. They're the ones who get the most hits.
B
They will get the black men, you know?
A
So you. So you're not on any apps?
B
No, when they first came out. Well, years ago, when they first came out, I was on Plenty of Fish. I was on Match, something. I never took down my profiles. They probably still up. I just never went back on Check. I did meet a couple guys back then, but then you meet people, they're like, are you sugar? You sugar from next Friday? Why are you on here? I was like, okay, why are you on here?
A
Same reason you're on here.
B
I'm trying to find somebody, but Starr Jones did it and got married. But she just put.
A
Wait, really?
B
Yeah, she just put her eyes on. And there was another attorney said, you know, who are you? Your eyes are intriguing. And they started talking and dating, and now they're married.
A
You know what? I love that. I love that Star Jones is like, I'm just gonna put my eyes up there. I'm gonna be very mysterious and then be like, well, I'm Star Jones. You can't be that mysterious for very long. No, I'm Star Jones. Sorry about it.
B
And you gotta pick and choose. So I was thinking maybe I just put an elbow.
A
Yeah. That might moisturize it.
B
Take a picture. Take a picture. Then men would be like, that's on your elbow.
A
I wanna have to take me to dinner first.
B
How about that?
A
Buy me a little bit of a steak, and you can get the wrist.
B
I might do that. It takes so much work to get on an app.
A
It does take a lot of work, because then you have to do the profile. You got to make sure your pictures are clear and nice and show the full body. When I was on the apps, I, like, always made sure to have, like, three pictures of my body, because there is no world where I'm getting there. And they're like, oh, I'm surprised about your size. Especially when I was bigger.
B
Got it right. We don't. You don't want that.
A
You're saying, no, no, no. This is who I am. And then when I met my. My current partner, I had pictures of me bigger than I actually was on the app because I was like, I. I simply don't want to deal with somebody who doesn't like me at that size, because weight is very hard to lose, but very easy to find.
B
That's fine.
A
You could find it any old place in your sleep. Truly.
B
Wake up.
A
Truly. If you don't watch it for, like, a week and you get on the scale, you're like, yeah, but that's the trick.
B
Getting on the scale. That's the thing. A lot of us don't get on the scale. But if you got on that scale every three days, it would keep you kind of. Okay.
A
Yes.
B
Yeah, that's.
A
And I think people sometimes go, if you get on the scale every three days, you're, like, obsessing about it. But I don't obsess about it. I'm just trying to maintain, maintain, because
B
I will wait that week, and then I will have gone up quickly. But if I catch it in a couple of days, I'll say, oh, let me drink some more water.
A
Yes. They want to go more walks, eat some chicken for protein.
B
Eat a little protein, do a little more exercise.
A
Everybody talking about protein. I was in the grocery store and Pop Tarts said, so many grams of protein. I said, how many grams of sugar protein for Pop Tarts?
B
Well, you gotta go find something. I found another little snack, and it said all this protein in it, and it was like a little sweet snack. I was like, this is not protein. Uh, uh.
A
They'll get you. They say, it's got protein. I'm like, it's got sugar and carbs. And then that makes the protein. Nothing negligible.
B
Maybe in the top is frosted with protein.
A
Little chicken protein on the top, a little chicken protein. You've lost weight. I have. You look great. Thank you. Tell me how you did it.
B
I am a paid spokesperson for zepbound. Did you bust out laughing?
A
Yes. How did you do it? How did you lose weight? They paid me. They gave me money, and I said, all right, I'll get on the elliptical.
B
That is so true. But not true. My doctor put me on Zepp bowel first, and then I became a paid spokesperson for zeppbound because I wanted to let people know that there was a tool out there to lose weight. So I was very excited about it because I didn't know about these things.
A
Me either.
B
Did you know about these things?
A
No. And they've been around for a very long time.
B
Have they been around for a very long time? I think it feels like they just came out, but they were around.
A
They were around. I feel like they started working, and then they became more prevalent. Cause I know there's semi glottudes and tryptides.
B
Yeah, there's all the.
A
I'm not saying it right, but one of them has been around to help diabetics. And then recently they were like, oh, this actually just helps with weight loss and, like, suppressing the appetite a little bit.
B
Well, that's what's interesting about zepbound. It is only for weight loss, and that's what. For a tool for me, which was great. When I talked to my doctor about, you know, got on it, and it makes you go like, oh, this is the tool. We don't feel stuck anymore. You know, that up and down. And like you said, we check it, you know, so I really. If anybody was watching the podcast, you know, we encourage you to talk to your doctor about it. You talk to your doctor about it. I talked to my doctor about it and found this tool. And it has really helped me. When you say, oh, you lost weight. A lot of people say that, oh, you lost weight. Like, I wanna. But you put me in this little, little bitty chair. I wanna cross my legs, like you crossing your legs. I wanna get up, and I can do this. Look at that. Look at that.
A
Look at that.
B
Look at that thing. See? Lost a little weight. Look at me. So that's. I mean, and I always. Well, for me, I encourage people to go to zepbound.lily.com and to talk to their. Definitely talk to their doctor about it.
A
And there is, like, a stigma, I feel like, especially in the black community, where it's like, you don't need medicine for that, for mental health, for your. But I do think it's, like, it's nice to see a black woman who said, I needed a little bit of help. So I spoke to my doctor, and, you know, I'm doing it. I was saying before the podcast I'm on, I'm on a different one. And I at first was like, I don't think losing weight's gonna help my health. I don't think so. I don't think it's gonna make my life better, whatever. And it has. And I find that to be deeply annoying. I hate that I'm more flexible. I hate that I have more energy. I hate that I could do more. And the reason why I hate it is because I was like. I liked who I was bigger. And then I had to learn to like this person, too, because I, like, look in the mirror and be like, I look different, but also I do look the same, and I'm still the same person.
B
The same person.
A
I can just do a little bit more. Have you felt like your life has improved with the way you've lost?
B
Well, I feel like, you know, I wouldn't say improved. I would say my life has always been how it is, you know, But I would just say that I have felt like, when I say, like, diet and exercise now that I have this tool, that it felt like it has become easier for me because I got this little. I got my little tool right here that I got my little tool sitting there that I can say, okay, now I can choose foods differently. You know, I don't have that craving. I gotta. You know, I want. Then I say, okay, I gotta couple that with exercise. And even if I don't, for me, this is for me. Everybody else got to check with their own doctor, and all the results are different for other people. My exercise, say this morning I got up, I said, I only feel like doing 15 minutes on the elliptical because I'm just not there yet. So I make sure I get on the elliptical, I do 15 minutes and that's it. And maybe I'll do some more when I get home. So I do the exercise. I got me some berries this morning, you know, and I got some yogurt. So I feel like before, you know, I had zepbound, I felt like my food choices were different for me. So that was good. But I want to ask you this too. What do you feel like when people say that we're cheating? That's the thing that, you know, I
A
don't think it's cheating.
B
Do they cheat? What about a cancer drug? Is that cheating? That's exactly, that's what I feel like. Heart drug, is that cheating?
A
Is that cheating? No, it's just, it's aid. It's helping. And I like that you said that you didn't feel like doing more than 15 minutes, but you did the 15 minutes. I think a lot of people just go, I don't feel like doing the 15. I just won't do anything. But you did five, five, two minutes. That's better than nothing.
B
If you just start. And what I tell people, this is what I tell people how I start. I spend more time on the phone than exercising. So if I take a phone call, put it on speaker or whatever, and I walk around my living back and forth, walk around the backyard because you sit there on the phone, you know, I was thinking about getting one of those little things you put under the desk and just talk on the phone. But you know, at least just walking around, you know, and that's part of your exercise. And water, you know, I was telling you about the water.
A
That's the one I don't like. I don't like water. You got to get water. I know, I know it's hard, but
B
you know another trick someone told me? Put six bottles or three bottles of water by your bed. Just a little eight ounce, six ounce bottle. And when you get up, drink them straight down. Just sit there, drink them out. Now look how much you've gotten your water in for the day. And it's early enough. It's hard. It's hard to do, but you gotta.
A
It's so hard. I just don't like it. I like soda. What? I love Diet Dr. Pepper.
B
Do you?
A
I love Diet Dr. Pepper.
B
And your skin is so nice.
A
I know. Can you believe that's a Lot of makeup.
B
You gotta put the water in with the, with. With your diet, Dr. Crawford.
A
I know. I just don't like it. It's truly the one hurdle for me, just drinking if. And then any day I have drank a ton of water. I'm like, wow, I feel really good. I don't have a headache. The next day I'll be like, straight back to not drinking water. I'll be like, my head hurts so bad and I don't know why.
B
The dehydration.
A
Yes, it's real.
B
It's real. I'm bad. Now, I'm not here to tell you that I am by any means. The water, Dr. But I know that we have to drink the water. So, like I was showing you my little bottle. Now, I might carry the bottle all day and not get it in, but
A
at least you carried the bottle with.
B
You carried the bottle.
A
You threatened to drink water.
B
I threatened to drink that water because even your skin changes everything. You know, our body is something like eight. I don't know how the percentage is, but it's so much water in our body. I don't think they said you can, you can go so many days without food, but you can't go so many days without water. It's something like that.
A
Something like that.
B
Yeah.
A
I think. I don't know who's to ever find out. Who's to ever look that one up? Not me. I'll just take it.
B
That is so crazy.
A
So you've been set up on blind dates, and you've been set up by your cousin and the porn star, Lexington Steele.
B
Yeah.
A
How did a porn star set you up? I know how a cousin set you up. It's my lovely assistant, Lindsay. She finds everything.
B
Yeah. Andre Lavelle, my friend who's a comic. And we were doing my show Raising Whitley at the time and, you know, trying to date. And Lexington still's tall, chocolate, good looking. But I'm not a. I didn't know porn people. I don't know their names. I don't know them. I didn't know they even were famous, you know, like that. And we were on a date and they were filming the date and say, I'm sitting here in. Lexington is sitting there. But he's intelligent. He's traveled the world, you know, I mean, really intelligent. So we were sitting there talking. I was like, ooh, I got a good one here. Look at him. He's smart, he's good looking, he's a gentleman. And all of a sudden, behind him in the cameras, I see People darting back and forth. And so I'm trying to focus, and I'm like, what is happening? And I have an earpiece in. And all of a sudden a PA had run and told the producers, that's Lexington Steele. He's a porn star.
A
So you had no idea?
B
No idea.
A
Did your cousin know who set you up?
B
Yeah, Andre knew. It was his boy. One of his first. But this was on the Oprah Winfrey Network, so you gotta be careful. If this was on something else, maybe not, but Oprah. Oprah would be like, oh, what are we doing here? But so I think they were freaking out, and Oprah probably found it funny, but they were freaking out. And so they whispered in my ear. I mean, I was into it. And they whispered in my ear, and they're like, kim, that's Lexington Steele. Cause that's not who he introduced himself. He gave me his real government name. And I remember going like this, okay.
A
Oh, all right, all right. I'm vibing with this guy.
B
I'm vibing with this whatever his name could be. Poo de Tang, whatever. And they were like, we're gonna have to cut. And then they said something like, he's a porn star. And I remember I was like this. Huh? And I couldn't hear anything he was saying after that. I was like. Because it was almost like all your hopes and dreams just went.
A
Just went away.
B
And I was so mad at my friend because I was like, what a waste. But it wasn't a waste. But it was waste. It makes a good story. And Lexington was. He was a sport about it. He was a great guy. But it was. That one was, ooh, wow. All my other girls was like, girl, that was Lexington Steel. Girl.
A
I wouldn't have known. I. I don't watch enough to be like, oh, I recognize this person from porn.
B
And who's gonna recognize his face.
A
When there's other things on display? Who's looking at that face? Did you go on a second date with Lexington Steele?
B
No, no, no. But we became friends.
A
I love that when you tour. I asked male comedians this, but I also try to ask female ones, do you have any Chuckle Fuckers? Is there anybody after shows who's like, chuckle. What if I took you back to the hotel room?
B
You get a lot of them.
A
Uh huh.
B
And what's interesting, I'm starting to get groups.
A
Oh.
B
It's a. Like, I always. Sometimes a couple was like, send her up a drink. I'm like, okay, thank you. It was nice. And then they still talking to me. I Was like, y' all trying to take me home? Yes. I was like, what?
A
Yes. Yes, we are.
B
I said, no, y' all not taking me home so I can do some jokes for you. Yeah, you know, not as many as I used to. And like, I said, I'm so naive and such a. I'm such a tomboy that I'll miss it or not. You know, really pay attention to it. And I don't believe people.
A
Oh, I know.
B
That's weird. I got a lot of men who show up a couple of times to the show. And I'm like, okay, were you here twice? And this is the deal with me. Usually only Pisces men talk to me, okay? It's Pisces and Capricorn men who are very secure in themselves because they're afraid I'm gonna say something crazy. They say, but you have to come up to me and literally say, hi, I'm interested in you, or, I'd like to take you out. Oh, man, I just thought about that. In Texas. The guy gave me his phone number, and I said, I'm gonna call you because he was nice looking. And I said, I'll call you. Just forgot about that. I think Earlene might have that number. It was two days ago. Three days ago.
A
You better call that man.
B
You know what it is? I didn't. I should have given him my number and said, you call me. I said, I'll call you. Please. I don't even remember.
A
I'll never say I'll call you. I can. I'm not giving myself more work to do. I simply won't like you. I won't remember.
B
Yeah, I was bad. I just thought about that. Well, if you're watching, I apologize. But you. You. You. You literally have to say, you gotta be really open.
A
When I was dating, I was the same way. You have to, like, hit me over the head and be like, I like you. I wanna take you out. Otherwise, I'm like, isn't that a nice conversation? But then I'll be at the grocery store, and I'm like, wait, that cashier wants me so bad. And then I have to go home and be like, no, they don't. They were being nice because their job is to be nice. And check me out. You're at Trader Joe's. He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt going, you like this pumpkin spice? Whatever. And it's like, oh, my God, yeah, I do like that pumpkin spice.
B
This is interesting. Do you have white men attracted to you or black? Because you're different.
A
Ms. Pat, said the same thing. She said this almost verbatim. The same, same question followed up with, because you're different. It's usually white men who. Who hit on me.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see you being a white man magnet.
A
A white man magnet. I mean, I like all types of men. I don't have a type. I just like men who in my older age, who are nice to me. When I was younger, be mean to me. I'd be like, okay, well, maybe if you hang around me enough, you'll be nice to me. But now I'm like, you have to be nice. That's just the number one.
B
This is the number one.
A
Yeah. I don't have a type, but a type has me.
B
A type has you. If I was a white man, I would be attracted to you. Thank you.
A
I appreciate that. Okay, Kim, real quick, we gotta take a break. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. I have to tell you, anytime I go to the hospital or a clinic, my anxiety is absolutely through the roof. It's just an overwhelming, scary place to be. But I feel like we have all experienced meeting an exceptional nurse who walks into the room and changes your day completely. They are so experienced and they know exactly what to say to take the panic out of the room and make a terrifying day feel completely manageable. And if you're looking for a new career path or you just want to do a job that truly matters, you cannot help but think, wow, that is exactly the kind of nurse I want to be. Chamberlain University is where you start. Discover your calling at Chamberlain. Edu Chamberlain University belong to something greater. Certified to operate by Chevy we are well into the year now. I know a lot of you made New Year's resolutions to finally cut back on nicotine. It could really ruin a date when you're constantly disappearing at the bar just to sneak a hit of a vape or a cigarette. This year, try a new routine that makes you feel good, not guilty. Jones makes it so much easier to follow through with your nicotine goals. They have these science backed, FDA approved nicotine myths. There is no smoke, no weird pouch, no vapor, and no hidden chemicals. It's just a discreet mint that comes in a super cute little tin so you can easily carry it around. In social settings, cravings usually Only last about 60 seconds and Jones helps you arrive them out without having to excuse yourself. You just pop one in when the craving hits and let it dissolve slowly. Jones also gives you a personalized step down plan to actually lower your nicotine intake over time. Take the Jones quiz to find your ideal mint strength and get your plan. If your New Year's resolution is to quit or even just use nicotine in a healthier way, check out Quit with Jones. Visit quitwithjones.com date me to take the free quiz and use Code Date me to get 15% off your personalized quitting journey. That's quit with Jones.com date me taking back control starts now. Thanks to Quit with Jones for sponsoring this episode. Just a heads up, the mints contain nicotine, which is an addictive chemical. Jones is FDA approved and available for those that are 18 and older. I love makeup. We all know this. But for my everyday life, I'm not trying to look like a completely different person. I don't want makeup to erase my face. I just want my skin to look healthier and more radiant. That's why I have to tell you about the Jones Road and their beauty miracle balm.
B
Oh.
A
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B
You're a cartoon character I like.
A
Okay. I also think I'm a bit like a cartoon character. And I think that's why kids like me. Because I hosted this show called Nailed It. And time after time again, people are like, my kid loves you. And for a while I was like, why do they like me so much? And I was like, oh. Cause I'm like an adult cartoon. Like, they understand I'm an adult, but I'm like, da rah rah. Wanna see the cake you made?
B
No. And the whole cartoon, it cracks me up. That's what I was saying. When a person, when you wanna meet, you know, the joy that you have inside, you know it comes out.
A
Thank you.
B
You seem like a person who's had a good childhood.
A
I did have a good childhood.
B
You could tell.
A
And a good mother who. I've said this on the podcast before, but she used to always say to me, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile. And anytime I've been like, mad and like, I'll be like, wait a minute, she's right. And it just. It just always makes me smile. Even when I'm upset, I'll end up smiling.
B
And I think that you will stay younger looking. People always ask, like, what's the secret? I think the secret.
A
What's your secret?
B
Joy, happiness, smiling all the time. I look at your face and I think about it comes from the inside and it comes out plus water. Oh, did I say that to you? No, but I think that's.
A
I bet I. I'd be even happier if I drank more water. I just don't like it because then you gotta pee all the time. I've heard your body gets acclimated to the water. And after you drink water for you're like, I've never heard of that. Never heard that.
B
One time it gets acclimated. It probably does until you hit a certain age. And then it's like, oh, no, I'm not holding on to all this.
A
What's a red flag for you in dating? Oh, like, what's something that you're like, oh, no, we simply. Mine is truly. You have to be nice to me. You just have to be.
B
But what is nice?
A
Nice?
B
You're nice. You might be different. Nice to someone else.
A
Nice to me is my mouth works faster than my brain. So sometimes I'll say something silly or dumb that I'm like, I don't know. I thought that was true. And I've dated people who will like, make fun of me and be like, oh, did you really think that was true? And it's like, I don't know. For the time being, I did. And then you've now corrected me, and now I understand it's not true. And you've been very rude about it. And you could have corrected me a little bit nicer. The nice man in my life right now, he'll just be like, hey, you know that that's not real, right? I'll go, oh, that's. Oh, okay. It's just gentle and nice.
B
Laugh. Yes. I want a doll like you. Every time I touch it, I want to just laugh.
A
Like a little Tickle Me Elmo. Yeah, but it's just a little Nicole being like,
B
I'm gonna invest in that. Let's do it.
A
I would love to see me in doll form because I really do think I'm adorable.
B
You are. As soon as you get a cartoon, we're gonna make a doll.
A
Oh, I would love.
B
Yes.
A
To be like a. Like a. Because I've done cartoons, but never ones where I look like me. Yeah, I would love. The closest thing is Boss Baby, but I kind of look like a little Oprah. She looks. She's a little Oprah looking, but kind of looks like me. But she's really cute. But I just look like a little me.
B
Yeah, you can do that. You can make your own doll. Put it right here on your podcast.
A
See if someone's out there who makes dolls. Actually, no, I don't know what the intention will be behind it. Because people have made me dolls before.
B
No, no. Different kind of doll.
A
I have them because.
B
Please send a picture to me later on.
A
I will. I have so many little dolls that people have made of me. And it's nice. It's kind of. But I did ask for people to stop making dolls of me because I don't know what.
B
You can't make any more dolls.
A
I don't know what it is. They probably got pins in them and everything. I don't want that.
B
They want you laughing all the time. They tickling you at all. Somebody just tickled you.
A
Now someone's making a doll right now. Just tickling me. Just like I can't stop.
B
Okay, a red flag for me.
A
Oh, at least you remembered. I was like, I have no idea what question I had.
B
I know. A red flag is if you're out on a date and a man talks poorly about his mother. Ooh, that is a red flag, believe it or not. I didn't believe it. But when I started, really. I am a connoisseur of people and of men. My girlfriends have a nickname. I'm called Cargo Pants because they say I have a man in every pocket. I do fill up my pockets and have different types of men because I like to. Well, I really like to examine men and how they think. I have brothers, so I have found out that men that have a problem with their mother or don't like her tend to be mean and not kind to you. So you always want to date someone who loves their mother because they're going to love and adore you. Okay, that would be a red flag. I think other red flags are men who tell you the women they've slept with or been with in the past, especially if you might know them, because then that Means they're going to tell your business.
A
Ooh, that's a very good one.
B
Got to be careful. So those are some of the red flags for me. I mean, I could. I could write a book on red flags, honey, but.
A
Yeah, and what's a. I'll let you take a sip first before I ask another question.
B
I'm dehydrated.
A
I told you I'm dehydrated. Celsius.
B
Oh, it's all done.
A
You ever have a Celsius?
B
You're not supposed to be drinking. Where's your water?
A
I know, I know it's bad.
B
Oh, when we off the air, I'm getting in your ass. This little cute talk right here just cause we're filming, but you just wait. When they say cut. Oh, I'm gonna let you have it.
A
I know it really is a problem. And I should drink. I. I will drink. I will start.
B
Okay.
A
I do. I'm on a group text with some friends because I said to them, I was like, I really do need to actually drink more water. And they were like, every day one of us will say, nicole, have you drank water? And when I get that text, I go, all right, let me go fill up a cup and I'll drink my water.
B
A cup?
A
Yeah.
B
Where's your bottle?
A
I simply don't have one. And by don't have one, I have so many bottles and whatnot. I just. They're in a cupboard. They're all so soft.
B
You know what? I'll give you two bottles that will help you drink water. Do you like drinking out of a straw?
A
I do.
B
Okay, I'm gonna give you a bottle that's a straw, but not really a straw, but it will give you straw. Like, I drink a lot of water because of that. Okay. I'm gonna. I mean, I'll tell you about it afterwards. I don't want to promote things that it might be. Go against your promotion of your stuff. You never know.
A
Who knows? I never know what ad's running during what episode.
B
Oh, right.
A
That's just above me.
B
You might get them to send you. First of all, I want these people to send you a bottle. Circle, circle. I want that bottle sent to you first.
A
Circle, please send.
B
Yep. And the flavors.
A
Circle, please send me that. And the flavors.
B
And the flavors. And then I want the people from. I done forgot the name of the daggone bottles. My favorite bottle starts with A O. And Earlene's not in here.
A
Buella. Oh, is that.
B
Does that sound about right?
A
Uuella. Am I making things Up.
B
She's looking up. It's a bottle O w o d. Do you see a straw sticking out? If not, it's the wrong bottle. It does not have a straw sticking out. It has a little. I don't have my phone. She took my phone.
A
It has like a little. It like goes down and what does it look like?
B
Do you see? Yeah. What do you see for just like a little nudge. That's it. That is it.
A
Odwella.
B
That is it. See those different colors? Well, how do you say that name?
A
I think Odwella.
B
Owalla.
A
Owalla.
B
Owala. Oh, my niece. Oh. Oh, no, they're not gonna say oh, Owla.
A
Owalla.
B
And this is why I love this bottle. So it has two holes. Like this actually looks like a woman made. Because it has a little. It has a little hole right here that has a big hole. So this right here say if you wanna gulp out of. But then it has a little thing, little hole. But there's no straw. The straw is down in the bottle. But you can just go like this. So you don't have to like, you don't have to. You know how the straw. You gotta push it or close it. You just close it. You want to drink, you just right out of it. Or you can gulp.
A
Send me a purple one, please.
B
Ohalla, Please send her. That's the other one. You will drink more water. Okay, you know I trust you. And I'm gonna get you a little pat of Dr. Pepper powder. Oh, like sugar free. Yes. You could put that baby, let me tell you something. Walmart got it all. And I would put that, I put that little powder in your water. You would drink that whole thing.
A
Walmart got it all.
B
Walmart.
A
I mean, that's where I've been going since. I don't know. Are we allowed back at Target?
B
No, they have not given us the black bat signal.
A
Please, please, Target. Do better. I miss Target.
B
Come on, Target. Come on, come on. Hire some black people. Let's get you.
A
Not been in Target since they were like, don't go. And I'm like, all right.
B
And you feel crazy walking in. Like sometimes I had to sneak in and get a birthday card. And I'm looking around, I was like, is there any black people out here?
A
Is anybody here? Anybody wanna tell on me?
B
Tell them and you run on me
A
that I've been at the Target.
B
Oh, no, it's crazy. And then you see a black person working there. I was like, oh, you made it.
A
Yeah, you made it through the cuts. You're still here.
B
Yeah, we gotta get that paycheck. The black church. Somebody gotta put up the black bat signal.
A
What's a green flag in dating?
B
Oh, a green flag in dating is immediately being nice, not being pushy. When you're talking, they're listening. They're not talking over the whole conversation. Green flag is when they put their phone down and they're not on their phone. Constantly on their phone. A green flag. Of course. They open the door, they ask, you know, what would you like? You know, and I don't mind if a man orders for me, but he was like, do you mind if I ordered for you? You know, of course. Go ahead. Order it.
A
Go ahead.
B
You know, those are green facts. All the things that you like. What I like might be different from what you like.
A
Nope, I like all that.
B
Okay.
A
I think consideration was a. I think when I say a man has to be nice, I'm just saying a man has to be considerate. Please, like, ask me my opinion. Listen to me. Put your phone down. Like, all that's really, really nice. Like, I should be important. We're out together, right?
B
Yes. That is consideration. Now, I do none of that on a date, so I'm horrible.
A
I'm biased. I'm like, a woman doesn't have to. Yeah, women get to be fun.
B
Yeah, I'm. I'm trying to be better. I really am.
A
Do you want to. Ooh, I'll let you drink. Mm. Hydration.
B
Green apple flavor.
A
Oh, that's nice.
B
Okay, I'm listening.
A
Okay. Do you want to be in a relationship, or are you just happy being a cargo pant lady? The way I phrase that was insane. A cargo pant lady. Like, do you just like having men in different pockets, or are you looking to settle down?
B
And when I say, yeah, I have a lot of male friends, remember, I've been a tomboy, and I got male friends.
A
I also like that you're wearing cargo pockets.
B
I am.
A
I was like my partner, metaphorical and literal.
B
But I know I want to be in a relationship. I have one guy that I like a lot, that I've been knowing for years, but it's like, we're friends. I had another guy who I really liked that we went to high school with. We were together in high school. Not together, but friends. But then my brother was like, it ain't going. You ain't gonna make it. He been my friend for years. He is not the one. And then we didn't make it, but friends were still. It wasn't like a bad Breakup.
A
It was just like, eh, we didn't work.
B
No, we didn't work. So, you know, do I want to date? Yes. But there is no one stepping up.
A
Okay.
B
Men assume I'm too busy. There was one in Vegas, too. He was pretty persistent, but that was good. He was good to be persistent. But men assume that I'm too busy. And I'm not busy like that. I just need a man to take charge. Because I will take charge. I will keep working until someone says, hey, you know what? You can slow down. Why don't we go get something to eat or watch a movie. I'm like, people do that, you know, that kind of thing. Because I actually try to. I'm starting something new now because I travel so much before I go out of town. I have to, the day before, go somewhere with my son. I gotta stop. I gotta go to a movie. I gotta spend time with him. Let's go walk in the mall. That's how bad it is. So I'm trying to just get, you know, he's 15. Pretty soon he'll be going to college. I said, we get that tradition. I don't want him getting older and writing a book about me.
A
So Mom, Mama never spent time with me.
B
Exactly.
A
No, that book will never be written.
B
That's right. Will not.
A
I like that. I think that's really sweet. Stop.
B
And spend time with you.
A
Yeah. Real quick, we gotta take another break. Your bra and underwear shouldn't be the most uncomfortable thing you're wearing. But for the longest time, mine were digging in, riding up, just a huge pain. But then I was introduced to me undies. I have their feel free bralette and undie and oh, boy, oh, boy, do they feel great on me. They're made from this modal fabric that is so soft and feels amazing. I come home and I don't even bother taking it off. Their signature ultra modal fabric is breathable, stretchy, and perfect for whether you're working from home or out enjoying the spring weather. They even use sustainably sourced materials and work with partners who care for their workers. Meundies has everything from classic basics to fun spring prints. Plus, they come in sizes extra small through 4xL. And if you're not happy with your first pair of undies, it's on meundies. With their problem free philosophy. Right now, as a listener of my show, you can get 20% off your first order plus free shipping@meundies.com. date me. Promo code. Date me. That's 20 off plus free shipping@meundies. Com Date me. Promo code. Date me. You guys know I love a look. I love to be loud and fun with my fashion. But lately I am all about quality over quantity when it comes to the staples in my closet. If a piece is not well made and versatile enough to wear on a date or just running errands, it is simply not worth my time. That's why Quince is amazing. They make these beautiful wardrobe staples using premium fabrics like 100 European linen, pure silk, and crisp organic cotton poplin. And you're not paying for a crazy brand markups because Quince works directly with safe, ethical factories to cut off the middleman. It's just quality clothing built to hold up season after season. Their cotton cashmere sweater has become my go to. It's light enough for layering, but it still feels so luxurious against my skin. And it did not cost anywhere near what I thought quality cashmere cost. Right now. Go to quince.com date me for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Q-U-I-N-C-E.com dateme for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com date me. What's one of the best dates you've ever been on?
B
I've been on quite a few, but I remember one Valentine's Day, a guy here in LA named Danny, he had the limo. He picked me up. There were rose petals all over the limo. We got in there, I got a gift. He took me to Yamashiro's. We had dinner, we came back, we went somewhere else. I got another gift. I think that was one of the best dates. That's lovely. Los Angeles.
A
I love that. Nobody does limos anymore. I love a limo.
B
That was a good date. I was born in Atlanta, had a good date, started going through Detroit.
A
Mm.
B
Good date.
A
What's one of the worst dates you've been on?
B
Oh, it was probably with the porno guy. Wasn't that bad enough?
A
Did that interview ever. Did that date ever air anywhere or. No?
B
Yeah, it did air on Raising with Me.
A
Okay.
B
There was a date. You know, put this way, you're at the table and his wife shows up. That's not a good date.
A
No, I would say that's a very bad date.
B
You're like, you're married.
A
But did she pay?
B
Huh. Hilarious. That's a bad date, right? Right.
A
Yeah. That's bad.
B
All right, that, you know. And I don't have a lot of bad date stories.
A
I love that. That's nice.
B
Yeah, I've been. I think men are fearful. And what they tell me is they're fearful of my mouth. They feel like I'm going to tell the world what happened. But before when I was dating, it wasn't on social media like it is now. And I've always threatened to, oh, I'm gonna tell the world. I'm gonna tell everybody. But no, I usually. Cause I'm a comic, it's usually funny to me, you know, unless I'm really into it and something bad happens. There's dates where men don't pay and they say they left their wallet. Boy, stop. You know, but that just shows you're not supposed to be with that person. Yeah, there's dates where you get sick. You get sick on a date. That's embarrassing. Drank too much fat. That was on my part. That was a bad day. Didn't call me back. I was like. I said I was sorry.
A
I said, I said I was sorry. Sorry about it means you had a good time, but then you were sorry about what happened after the good time. Do you have any advice for single people who are listening right now?
B
Yes. I think there's no one place to meet someone and be open. I tell my girlfriends, always be open to any ethnicity. You don't know where your person is, but when you close it off, you know, and I'm only gonna date black guys. I'm only gonna do this, you know, back in the day, that was the people like, oh, I'm a stay, you know, because you don't want to be judged or whatever the reason. Like, I don't find white men are not attracted to me. They don't talk to me. They like brown sisters. I am light skinned. I'm too close to a white girl. So they don't talk to me. But I would say dating apps. Go to go out. You got to get off that couch. My girlfriend. I was like, well, you think God's gonna bring you the man to the door? I said, well, he's gonna be either ups. He's gonna be the postal service doordash. Doordash. That's who your man's gonna be. You gotta get out in social settings. And women learn how to flirt. You sit there. Women have to learn how to flirt. And guys stop flirting so hard when you're too aggressive. Women don't like that. So there is a happy minute. And women don't be so hot in the pants. They don't want that either. You've got to be subtle with it. You smile, you throw a man a compliment. Men love compliments. They are going to talk to you if you want to go stand at the bar, get a drink. If a man comes up and says something to you, you can look at him, look up and down, see if you like him, but say something nice to him. I don't care if he does look like a bear. He's gonna be nice and happy. You said something. He'll probably buy you a drink. But that is the thing. The art of flirting is very difficult, but for single people, you have to practice with your friends. That's the first thing you do. And your friends, you just role play. Even guy friends. And how I always will start is, I am a flirt. That is just part of my DNA. My brother, except my youngest brother, he's not a flirt. It's just part of who. We're people pleasers. I flirt with women and men, and it's not even flirting. I'm a compliment. I love complimenting people because I love to see how people react. I like to bring a smile. I saw this older woman. She was old. She was in a booth, but she was so cute. She was little old lady. She had on her little blue vest, and she did a little haircut and everything. And I said, ma', am, I said, you are absolutely adorable. I said, my goodness, I know someone's happy that you're in their life. People need that. They need validation, and it doesn't matter. So with a man, it's simple as sir. I love the way you're wearing that suit.
A
Mm.
B
Mm. That's a nice cologne. You know, it's just anything you really take care of your hands, that is nice. And they'll look and they'll be like,
A
that's a nice compliment.
B
I truly was like, ooh, you know anything. Your sweater is nice. Or did you just get your hair cut? That's a nice cut, Kim.
A
That was good. Like, I didn't have a haircut. I looked at my hands. I was like, oh, oh, Kim. But you are right, people do love a compliment. And I love when I see somebody out in the world, I'll just like, stop whatever I'm doing. I was at a restaurant, and the host was wearing this really cute sweater. And then he was like, follow me. And I was like, wait, I like your sweater. Then I was like, I don't know why I said wait like that. But I really like Your sweaters. And then he was like, oh, thank you. Then we talked about the sweater and had a nice time.
B
See, the fact. I think he liked.
A
Cause you said, wait, I like your sweater.
B
Yeah, yeah. And when you start doing it, you start recognizing it. If you don't do it, you don't recognize it. But soon as you do it, you start recognizing that humans are like, oh, are you talking to me? Hey, yes. Yes, I'm talking to you.
A
Yeah. You know, I like that.
B
And it's kindness in the world, even for women. You know, women. You know, I see a woman who's sharp or dressed like, I said, I see you.
A
I see you.
B
I said, you put that together. That's nice.
A
Ooh, I like that you're putting that together. That's a nice compliment.
B
Yeah. Because she worked hard. She put that together. And they say that women dress for other women.
A
Yes.
B
Because they want women to say, oh, yes. Okay. Where you get that from?
A
Yeah, I've never put on an outfit and been like, a man's gonna like this.
B
Right? It's so true. We do. So we have to remember to share that and tell women, you know, good job. And men also.
A
I like that, Kim. I think that's good advice.
B
Okay, good.
A
Kim, we've come to the end. Do you have anything you want to promote?
B
Yes. I have Cleveland Improv. That is March, the week of March 27th. There's five shows, I believe, or four shows. Then I have Louisville the Comedy Club on April 17th, 18th. And then I have Two Funny Mamas. We're doing a show in Detroit at the soundboard on May 8th, Mother's Day weekend. And I'm also still doing two funny mamas podcast that's on YouTube with Sherri shepherd, so.
A
And do you have a website that people can go to to get tickets?
B
Yes, my website is KimTV.
A
Is it? I am Kim Whitley.
B
There it is. I have a website. It's iamkimwhitley.com. i'm gonna need somebody to update that website and tell her that
A
I need
B
to write that down. Because every time I leave an interview, I'm always like, what? I've had the website for years. I forget to tell people to go. Whoever's the person that goes on. Yeah, that's it. My social media person. And you can follow me on social media across the board. That's where usually Kim. K Y M W H I T L E Y. And that is Facebook and Instagram and Tickety Tock and all those things.
A
Tickety Tock. Okay, Kim, I Have another question. The last question, I asked almost everybody this Would you date me?
B
Yes. I already told you that I would date you because I want to. I would wake up to your little smile and your giggle every day. You are a ball of sunshine.
A
Thank you, Kim.
B
Yes, that is. I got it. That's the name of the pie. That's why you say it. Have you ever gotten anybody to say, hell, no?
A
Not so meanly, but some people have said no.
B
Really?
A
My best friend said I would try, and I was like, well, that's not kind.
B
Well, that's your best friend. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But has anyone just been like, no, not really.
A
My friend Mike Mitchell, the first time he was on, he was like, no. We'd eat ourselves to death.
B
Okay, that's funny.
A
Well, if you like this episode of Ooh. Oh, wait. Thank you for being here. I just started going, I wouldn't date
B
you because you would scare me to death. I would be in a deep sleep, and then you would just bust out because you're on your phone or something. You go, and that would scare me.
A
So, yeah, sometimes it scares that nice man.
B
I know.
A
And sometimes he's trying to sleep, and I'm like, but I have more to say. And I'll tap him and be like, excuse me.
B
Do you.
A
I'm a monster. If you like this episode of why won't you date me? You could like it. Or no, you could. Yeah, you could like it. You could follow it. You could rate it 5 stars on. On Spotify or Apple podcasts. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me, I'll read it and you have to write it to why won't you date me? Podcast gmail.com. and I'm gonna ask you to keep these short because these are long. Oh, my God. This person writes. One of Nicole's dozen straight male listeners here. Oh, thank you. Been listening since day one after her being on Comedy Bang Bang and High and Mighty. Yes, I'm white. Grand crew was fantastic as well. Wish there was more. That's so funny. You came home one day after nailing the callback of Amy Rose. Because I love Sonic, but I didn't get it. Somebody else did. There's a Dodge Charger already parked, waiting for you. Vin Diesel steps out, serenading you like he's wandering around his home, but he has passengers too. Out steps myself along with Craven and Venom and Assless Chaps, then shouts, were you about to shower you with that? That. Wait, you deserve that. Mamacita. We all cram into your living Room and bend over and clap our cheeks and shower you with lusty affirmations. Craven voice. I would hunt your to the ends of the earth and then I would catch it and feast like an animal. Vin Diesel voice. You put the nitro boost in my balls, baby. Venom just mumbles. But the chi clapping. Wait, this is funny. This is long, but this is funny. But the chi clapping is immaculate. People think you're hosting the the Cannes film festival where you're getting a 20 minute standing ovation from our booty cheek cheeks. The percussive power from our cheeks feel like a theragun set to maximum on your. And we all orgasm at the same time. The mess is so immense and we have to re re wallpaper the next day. But it's okay because Craven has some fabulous leopard print options for you. Oh, and the rhino and morbius, they're watching through the window the whole time. Like the naughty little cucks they are. Okay, bye. Bye. From anon. Okay, backstory. I really like Sony Marvel movies. They have stopped making them, but I really enjoy them.
B
Wait, we gotta stop. We gotta stop.
A
Mm.
B
Did somebody scream this?
A
Yep, Mars, my producer. She reads them. I thought he's good.
B
What kind of freaky girls. Okay, that was crazy.
A
My listeners are very, very creative and nice. They're all trying to top this one nasty one where someone wrote that they wanted to put me upside down and f fill me up with clam chowder.
B
That's interesting.
A
I didn't like that this one was. But they're really trying to top that one.
B
Wow, they did. That was a whole movie.
A
It was my listeners. They're very creative and I love them so much. They're so good to me. Goodbye. That was a headgum podcast. Hey, everyone, this is Natalie and this is Charlie. We're from the podcast Exploration Live. It's really funny. It's really good. It's really, really, very good. And now we have a YouTube channel to go with it. That's exactly right, Natalie. You can watch full video episodes of our podcast exploration live@YouTube.comexplorationlivepodcast. that means that in addition to the audio component, you're also getting a video component component. Exactly. Where you're seeing our reactions, what kind of clothes we're wearing, you know, and there's a whole suite of dynamics and physical expressions that you can really only get from a full video. Body language experts to the front. Exactly. So come check out Xperson Live, either audio or video.
B
I just got up there and I was just like, oh my God, thank you. Thank you.
A
The award winning Tell Me what happened podcast from OnStar is back. New emergencies, new heroes. Find out what happens in season six of Tell Me what Happened.
Date: March 20, 2026
Guest: Kym Whitley (comedian, actress, co-host of “Two Funny Mamas” podcast)
This episode of "Why Won’t You Date Me?" features a lively, warm-hearted, and revealing conversation between host Nicole Byer and Emmy-nominated comedian and actress Kym Whitley. The two dive deep into dating stories, the challenges and joys of finding love later in life, health journeys (including weight loss and body acceptance), the role of apps in dating while famous, and major green/red flags in relationships. Throughout, their signature humor and honesty shine through, offering both laughs and hard-earned wisdom.
“Watching you is a masterclass. You’ve been doing comedy for so long…and you’re still working and still touring and I love that.” — Nicole ([04:46])
“When you watch somebody and you want to know them, you want to meet them, it’s different… I was like, something’s wrong with her—I gotta meet her.” — Kym ([04:57])
“I climbed a tree to get over the fence…my cape got caught in the tree. So I had to let the cape go… I hid behind a trash can, but my feet are too big so my toes were sticking out.” — Kym ([07:04])
“There is a stigma… But I do think it’s nice to see a Black woman who said, I needed a little bit of help, spoke to my doctor, and I’m doing it.” — Nicole ([17:10])
“I liked who I was bigger. And then I had to learn to like this person too… I look different, but also I do look the same, and I’m still the same person.” — Nicole ([17:46])
“Is a heart drug cheating? No, it’s just…helping.” — Nicole ([19:39])
Red flags:
“I flirt with women and men, and it’s not even flirting. I’m a complimenter. I love complimenting people because I love to see how people react.” — Kym ([53:53])
“I am not a dater… You have to literally say, ‘Would you like to go out?’” — Kym ([09:33])
“What about a cancer drug? Is that cheating? Is a heart drug cheating? No, it’s just…helping.” — Nicole ([19:39])
“It takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.” — Nicole (her mom’s advice, [33:32])
“Men that have a problem with their mother or don’t like her tend to be mean and not kind to you.” — Kym ([37:08])
“When you’re talking, they’re listening. They’re not talking over the whole conversation.” — Kym ([42:45])
“Always be open to any ethnicity. You don’t know where your person is, but when you close it off…you’re only going to date black guys, or only going to do this…” — Kym ([51:59])
Would You Date Me?
Nicole’s recurring closing question: Would you date me?
“Yes. I already told you that I would date you because I want to. I would wake up to your little smile and your giggle every day. You are a ball of sunshine.” — Kym ([58:08])
Playful banter follows about frightening morning personality, with Nicole’s boyfriend sometimes startled:
“Sometimes it scares that nice man. I know. Sometimes he’s trying to sleep and I’m like, but I have more to say!” — Nicole ([59:11])
“You gotta get off that couch…The art of flirting is very difficult, but…practice with your friends. Flirt by giving a compliment, even to strangers. People need that validation.” — Kym ([51:59 – 55:34])
Episode Tone:
Uplifting, candid, hilarious, and heartfelt—with plenty of real talk about body image, dating doubts, and self-acceptance, alongside trademark biting humor and joyful banter.
Recommended For:
Listeners curious about singlehood, real relationship talk, plus size and Black women’s health, modern dating dynamics, and anyone looking for an honest, relatable laugh about love’s many ups and downs.