Oversharing (w/ Yvie Oddly & Ryan Mitchell)

Summary

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: Oversharing (w/ Yvie Oddly & Ryan Mitchell)
Release Date: December 5, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this vibrant and hilariously candid episode of "Why Won't You Date Me?", Nicole Byer welcomes drag superstar Yvie Oddly (winner of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 11) and media personality Ryan Mitchell. Together, they delve into messy dating stories, polyamory, sexual openness, body image, and sex positivity within queer communities, all while bringing the playful chaos of their own podcast "High Key" to Nicole's signature space for oversharing. The episode is peppered with personal confessions, jokes, and genuine moments of insight about intimacy, identity, and the queer experience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meeting, Chemistry, and Co-Hosting ‘High Key’

• How Yvie and Ryan Met: Despite their easy chemistry, the two had only met in person twice before the recording.
  • "It's literally our second time, like, getting to be together in person." — Ryan [02:20]
• Shared their motivation for creating "High Key," aiming for a blend of "The View" and unapologetic Black queer mess.
• Yvie was the drag queen who said yes after several others were unavailable, which Ryan sees as fate.
  • "We need to have, like, a drag queen, like, to really come on and give that vibe." — Ryan [02:43]
  • "They called, like, five drag queens, and they were like, uh, we're all busy, bitch." — Yvie [02:48]

2. Praise from Ariana Grande and Drag Race Reflections

• Yvie shares surprise and joy at Ariana Grande naming her one of her favorite drag queens.
  • "I was honestly pretty shocked because I know she's a weirdo." — Yvie [04:25]
• Discussion about Yvie’s experience and self-image on Drag Race, and being an unapologetic force of honesty.
  • "I didn't even think I was gonna win. I was just so drastically disappointed in everyone that my judgmental bitch came out." — Yvie [06:33]
• Recollections of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 11 drama, specifically with Silky and behind-the-scenes realities.
  • "We spent the whole season being like, oh, God, Silky's gonna win." — Yvie [07:22]

3. Reality TV Fantasies

• All three guests discuss which reality shows they’d want to appear on: Nicole chooses "Traitors," Ryan wants "Big Brother," Yvie is open to being on TV but noncommittal.
  • "I would do Traitors. I love traitors." — Nicole [08:19]
  • "I wanna do Big Brother. I'm so down for living in a house for 90 days." — Ryan [08:28]

4. Dating Stories & Relationship Structures

• Yvie is married and "still fucking," sharing how openness evolved in her relationship, especially during COVID lockdown.
  • "I mean, I feel like I don't like the word rules. Cause I don't like rules. But we do have lots of communication." — Yvie [13:45]
• Ryan reflects on moving for an ex and a history of toxic, monogamous relationships, then learning to embrace sexual openness.
  • "I'm historically known for dating awful men." — Ryan [09:44]
  • "I wish he would've actually been more honest with me." — Ryan [11:06]
• The dynamics of honesty, sexual exploration, and openness are unpacked and celebrated.

5. Sexual Openness & Humor

• The trio goes deep (and explicit) about sexual dynamics, verbal play during sex, labels, and reclaiming stigmatized terms (e.g., "slut," "cum dumpster").
  • "I love slut. I love sexy name. Slut." — Nicole [18:26]
  • "Load it up, load it up, load it up. Barry, put that on my tombstone." — Ryan [19:21]
• Yvie jokes about treating hookups as “boyfriends for a couple of hours.”
  • "All of my fucks are like dates, but my fucking, they are, you know, they're like a boyfriend for a couple of hours." — Yvie [19:53]

6. Navigating Body Image, Vulnerability & Queer Spaces

• Ryan shares about embracing style and self-love despite biases against larger bodies in queer spaces.
  • "It's taken me a long time to be like, okay, this person actually wants me for me." — Ryan [36:31]
• Yvie reflects on learning to see herself as desirable, drawing from her parents' confidence and community history.
  • "It wasn't until I got older...I just have to give myself more credit." — Yvie [34:13], [34:44]
• Discuss the importance of affirming support within queer friendships and hookups.

7. Sex Parties & Safety

• Ryan confesses to spontaneous risky encounters (giving "the best head of my life" to a stranger from a sex club parking lot).
  • "I followed him to his hotel and gave him the best head of my life." — Ryan [45:29]
• Yvie muses on the thrill and (sometimes) danger inherent in queer sex and analogizes sex to spider mating habits:
  • "It's the danger that, like, makes you feel alive." — Yvie [46:26]

8. Drag, Celebrity, and Dating “Fans”

• Yvie gets candid about the awkwardness when hookup partners are over-invested as fans.
  • "It's probably not the biggest turn on to be like, yeah, you look up to me in a weird, idealistic way...I'm so hard, I'm gonna wreck that puss." — Yvie [39:53]
  • Describes experiences where fans reveal their true selves AFTER sex.

9. Pop Culture, TV Nostalgia & Representation

• The group bonds over shared pop culture, TV nostalgia (Charmed, Stripperella, Nick at Night, Adult Swim), and the coded Blackness in animated series.
  • "Do you think the Simpsons are black because Marge has a texture?" — Ryan [53:42]
  • "Her name is like Bouvier, which is Creole." — Yvie [53:51]

10. Final Advice for Singles

• Yvie and Ryan offer their tongue-in-cheek (yet half-serious) advice:
  • "Don't take advice from anyone who's not single. They don't know what the fuck is up." — Yvie [58:17]
  • "Also, don't take advice from single people because we all are pretty jaded and it's the ghetto out here." — Ryan [58:23]
  • "Continue to fuck yourself. Use your hands, use the toy. They will never let you down." — Ryan [58:36]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Yvie, on open relationships:
  "I just want to appreciate you for, like, whatever I get with you. Like, in these little moments we get to see. And we're just not gonna talk about the other guys." [13:59]

• Yvie, on living authentically:
  "She's so sexually open that it only makes me also want to be like…" — Ryan, referencing Yvie’s influence [12:03]

• On affirming body positivity in hookups:
  "I was just like, you know, I appreciate you for not making me feel weird about…" — Ryan [37:43]

• Yvie, on fan hookups:
  "If we're able to get to the sexual part without you…making some reality TV joke at me, then we're probably gonna be chill." [40:04]

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Important Segments (with Timestamps)

• Meeting & "High Key" Origins – [01:50–03:44]
• Ariana Grande’s Compliment & Drag Race Talk – [04:00–07:22]
• Reality TV Dreams – [08:14–09:14]
• Ryan’s Past Relationships & Moving for a Partner – [09:26–11:02]
• Sexual Openness & Relationship Rules – [13:45–15:37]
• Sexual Play & Dirty Talk – [16:35–19:37]
• Wildest Dates & Love Bombing Stories – [19:42–22:56]
• Body Image, Queer Space, and Self-Acceptance – [36:31–38:14]
• Being a Public Figure and Hookup Dynamics – [39:41–41:18]
• Nick at Nite, Adult Swim, and TV Nostalgia – [52:02–54:09]
• Dating Advice (Comic and Real) – [58:17–59:16]

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Tone & Style

The episode is riotously funny, irreverently sexual, yet also heartfelt and warm—reflecting the lived realities, humor, and resilience of Black queer community members. Oversharing is celebrated as an act of liberation, and the episode is sprinkled with running jokes, playful ribbing (especially around drag and dating), and pop culture references.

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Where to Find More

• High Key Podcast: Mondays, wherever you get podcasts and on YouTube and TikTok.
• Nicole Byer: Subscribe, rate, and review. Send flirty emails to whywontyoudateme[at]podcastmail.com.

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Endnote: Skip this episode with the kids in the car—this one, in their own words, is “oversharing” at its wildest.

Transcript

[A]

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.

[B]

This is a headgum podcast.

[C]

Quick, choose a meal deal with McValue.

[B]

The five dollar McChicken meal deal, the six dollar McDouble meal deal, or the.

[C]

New seven dollar Daily Double meal deal. Each with its own small fries, drink.

[B]

And Four Piece McNuggets.

[C]

There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Not by aldermic delivery.

[B]

I can take a black guy as long as I stretch beforehand.

[A]

How are you stretching with, like, a speculum?

[B]

I honestly should drink it. Even as a kid, like, when I got curious about my butthole, it went straight from finger into didgeridoo. Like, I realized that was the first foreign object inside me.

[C]

Oh, what's a didgeridoo?

[A]

It is a long thing that's like.

[C]

Oh, it's like a.

[A]

Is this a curvature or did you actually put a didgeridoo inside of you?

[B]

You better believe I didgeridoo.

[A]

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please.

Tell me why.

Oh, baby. Welcome to another episode of why won't you date me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single. Even though you could come on an outlet and tell. Tell me. It's a tiny charger. My guests today, I have two of them. One is a drag superstar and winner of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 11. The other is a pop culture diva commenter and media personality. And together they co host the podcast High Key. I'm so excited they're here. It's Yvie Oddly and Ryan Mitchell.

[C]

Hey.

The best introduction ever, huh?

[B]

Yeah. Honestly, I feel like I'm coming to this shit boxing.

[C]

It's like, who's that? Like, Mulan looking in the sea, like, finding out, oh, my God, who's that girl I see standing there?

[A]

Who's that girl I see staring? I simply cannot sing. How did you two meet?

[B]

You know, like every other.

[C]

Literally two days ago.

[A]

I don't know this bitch.

[C]

No. It's literally our second time, like, getting to be together in person.

And it's crazy because High Key was an inception by Spoke media that we really wanted to have, like, a show that was sort at this intersection of, like, the View and just like, black queer mess. Right. We want to be able to talk about the things that we deserve to talk about in our way. And we Were like, wait, we need a little spin of this. We need to have, like, a drag queen, like, to really come on and give that vibe.

[B]

And so they called, like, five drag queens, and they were like, uh, we're all busy, bitch.

[C]

And I was like, I'm not.

[A]

I'm not.

[C]

I'm not.

[A]

I'm not busy.

[B]

I mean, I'm booked and blessed, but, like, not right now.

[C]

And then Yvie said yes, which we were so excited because I keep saying this. Like, yvie is in my top five drag queens of all time.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And she's not five, and she's not four, and she's not three. And so it's one of those things where I'm like, when we did.

[A]

But she's two, maybe.

[B]

Listen, I'm not gonna bitch around the number one spot. Cause they're most likely older than me and gonna die soon.

[C]

Honestly. Then there'll be a space open.

But then it was just, like, we did a test, and it just was magic. Da, da, da. It was kind of crazy. And then I was like, I found out she was in August. Leo. And I was like, how are we both Leos doing this show? Are we gonna die now or later? Later.

[B]

Later.

[C]

At some point. But we're enjoying the ride.

[B]

Yeah, it's really cute right now. It's like Daniel in the lion's den. And every week, a different person gets to come in and try and slay our pussies.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I love it. Slay my pussy.

[B]

I didn't read the Bible, so I might have gotten that wrong.

[C]

I was like, who is Daniel?

[A]

I don. I didn't know either. I was just going along with it. I was like, okay, Daniel. Also, Ariana Grande just named you one of her favorite drag queens, like, really.

[B]

Quickly burst out of her mouth. Not just, like, one of, like, maybe, oddly. Oh, wait, this is a hard question.

[C]

How did you feel about that? Because that's crazy.

[B]

Okay? Like, off of, like, the bragging, like, duh.

No, I was honestly pretty. Pretty shocked because I know she's a weirdo. Like, I know because her and Willow have also talked a little bit. And she, like, likes Willow's weird selfies. She takes that. Her face is all, like, blurred out, and she's like, ketamine.

[C]

See, Glinda is no longer anymore that we're wrapping up the wicked. So Arianka is back, and she's like, I. Arianka? Yeah, that's what I call her. Arianka is the one that loves Evie.

[B]

Oddly, I think she's just, like, the girl who like would be doing what I, what I do. Like she would be doing weird shit if it wasn't so bad for her vocal rest.

[C]

Yeah, probably, probably, probably. And she probably has at one point, you know, like she, she's had a long career.

[A]

She really has a long career for being so youthful.

[C]

Absolutely. But she's just that girl at school.

[A]

Question. Are you two single? Dating? Who's to say?

[C]

Well, you're fucking married, so you hush.

[B]

I'm married and still fucking.

[A]

I love that for you.

[C]

And I am single.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

And you had your with your now partner right before season 11 aired.

[B]

Yeah, it was like a week before. He was dating some other queen in Denver who I had booked in shows and was like, mm, mm, girl.

[C]

Yes, she's done. You are. You and Ariana Grande have a lot in common.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Stealing.

[B]

Listen, girl, when I see something that I know I'm gonna treat so much.

[C]

Better than everyone else in the world. Yes. No shade.

[B]

I know he's gonna worship me because the Internet's gonna be so mean about how he looks versus I look.

[A]

Did you think that going in the Internet was gon hell?

[B]

Yes. Well, I mean I wasn't exactly a killer on season 11. I like looked like a full on naked mole rat cancer patient. Like I was going and starting fights with people. That's not like what I look for in a sexy partner.

[C]

But honestly, it was kind of hot to see. Like your season. I love. That was one of the things I love. Like you knew you were there to win.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And like I think you were just very honest about everyone needing to step their pussy up.

[B]

I mean what was crazy is I didn't even think I was gonna win. I was just so drastically disappoint and everyone that my judgmental bitch came out. She's like, really? I'm trash? And you brought this?

[A]

I mean that is funny. Cause there was that one moment with Silky where you were like, they're telling you to step your pussy up. And Silky's like, I'll let sink of a hap. And it's like, I don't think we're listening to you.

[B]

Step down. Like going back to the last resort isn't necessarily the answer, but you do you girl.

[C]

Which is the shocking thing that Yvie always talks about. That season is like Silkie was the girl that everyone kind of knew would have won that season. And that's wild to me because after she picked up Miley Cyrus and threw it around like a rag doll.

[A]

She really did.

[C]

I just did not pick the Meetup. Truly, I loved her in her Meet the Queens. But when that all kind of happened, that's when it kind of went like, but I still love her for sure.

[B]

I mean, that's why it was wild to watch episode one go down is literally. We spent the whole season being like, oh, God, Silky's gonna win. And Silky was walking around the workroom being like, America's gonn, bitches. RuPaul loves me. Every judge who came through did love her. So we were all like, fuck this fucking shit. You're never gonna send her home for looking bad ever. Yeah, not once. Yeah, but. But then, like, the first episode aired, and I think what was really shocking for me was the fact that all of these shady bitches were so quiet in the workroom. Like, that was half of what I was getting in fights over was being like, I know you girls are talking shit in the confessionals. Why can't you say it out here?

[A]

Just say it out. That's. That's reality television. You gotta give some drama in the workroom.

[C]

Would you ever do reality tv?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Is there a specific kind of show?

[A]

I think I would do Traitors. I love traitors.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And I love when everyone's like, how dare you say I'm a traitor? I could never. And it's like, well, that's the name of the game. You could be one for me.

[C]

That show. I would do traders. I think Yvie should actually do traders. But I wanna do Big Brother. I'm a big Brother, girly. I'm so down for living in a house for 90 days.

[A]

I found a live feed.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I didn't know there was a live feed.

[C]

Oh, I watched 24. 7 outfit. Oh, yeah. I'm watching them sleep. I am watching them hump each other. I am doing all of the things necessary to understand everyone's gameplay. And a lot of the times the live feeds, it actually tells the true story because producers are only going to show what they want. And the current winner, Ashley, you didn't know how much of a game player she was unless you watched live feeds.

[A]

But that's so much work.

[C]

I mean, true.

[A]

I gotta watch the episodes and then I gotta watch a live feed.

[B]

You're not watching the live feed. You're only getting a quarter of the.

[C]

Story.

[B]

Because we're watching them all day long.

[A]

That's nuts. That's so wild. And, Ryan, you moved here with an ex.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, you knew my business. That's crazy.

[A]

My assistant, Lindsey does the research.

[B]

Yeah, she does I feel like every gay move somewhere with an ex. None of us are bold enough to ever go somewhere. Or we're like, yeah, I wanna chase my dreams.

[C]

To be honest, I'm with you. He was paying for everything, so. Yes, I did. Yes.

[A]

It was like, he flew you out.

[C]

It was him and my best friend at the time, who I'm no longer friends with. But it's. Yeah, I moved out here 10 years ago, and I probably should not have moved out here with him. Red flags everywhere. I'm historically known for dating awful men.

[A]

What were the red flags?

[C]

Oh, I don't know. Like, being cheated on seven times seven. You know, like, specifically, like, with the. No, with different people. And to be honest, the first red flag was I was his first boy. Like, he came out because of me.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

And so, like, I also kind of, like, made in my mind, like, oh, of course he cheated on me the first time because he's a new gay. Let him go get, like, suck his dick. Like, go. You know, like, let him do some things. Until it kept happening. And then it kept happening and I was just like. And then we owned a dog together, and I ended up getting Coco and divorced. Whoa. And so, yeah, it's a whole thing.

[A]

So you're a closed relationship?

[C]

No, I've only done monogamy. Like, I was with him for five years.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But I am so open. My thing is, if he would've actually told me he wanted to see other people or, like, explore sexually with other.

[A]

People, if he was, like, honest about.

[C]

It, I would've been so down. I would've been like, actually, there are three, four dudes that I'm looking at that I would love to fuck.

[B]

Like, I was just pushing off. Cause I thought we were trying this shit for real deal.

[C]

Indeed. And so I was like, I wish he would've actually been more honest with me. But I also know at that time, especially coming from the south and being a Southern gay, like, there's a replication of heteronormativity that happens in queer relationships. And that was for sure. I was a product of that and did not realize, like, girl, how deep it lies. I'm a freak. I wanna do it. I wanna do it with multiple people if I want, at the same time.

[A]

So you be fucking now.

[C]

Oh, for sure. Fucking now. In wonderful way. About to collapse around the room for the way that I'm about to cry. I've never received this much support in my life.

[A]

Yes, that was st.

[C]

Yes, I am fucking down. But I'm also dating someone.

[A]

Oh, she's got it all.

[C]

Yeah, I'm dating someone and we talked about someone else I've dated on the show. Like that's part of our high Keyness. I think Yvie does a really great job at. She's so sexually open that it only makes me also want to be like.

[A]

I've seen your dick on Twitter, girl.

[C]

Who has it. I've seen it on a zoom.

[A]

On a zoom, on a zoom.

[C]

First meeting, meeting. And I'm telling this, our first meeting, meeting her, she was getting into a bubble bath.

[B]

Listen, if we're jumping in, we're jumping.

[C]

In the deep end. And I said, oh, this is what we've signed up for. This is what it means. Work. Sign me up for 11 more seasons.

[A]

I love taking a meeting in a bubble.

[C]

That's crazy to me. I am such a corporate Barbie low key where I'm like, I was. I had to wrap my head around it. But then Yvie says something brilliant where she's like, if, you know you're getting Yvie, oddly, you know you're also going to see some part of my body. And I'm like, actually, you're so right. And why would we need to be uncomfortable about that? Because this show is us talking about our lives and getting to know other people's lives.

[B]

Well, that plus there also is this really classy thing that nobody ever wants to acknowledge about working from the bathtub. I'm an art history nerd. There's this painting called the Death of Marat because some dude named Marat was stabbed while he was in his bathtub working and he had to like live his whole life in his bathtub. Cause he was so s. So I love to pretend that I'm him sometimes and just be like answering my emails from the bath, being like, where's my wench with more water.

[C]

I mean, drag us. It's now quite ableist of me bringing up you were in a bathtub working. I'm so sorry. Get her.

[A]

Get her. That was Ableist.

[C]

Drag me.

[A]

That was ableist. You're not inclusive. You're not an ally. Get her.

[C]

The fact that I was just being supported five seconds ago. Now look at how the Internet works.

[A]

That's how quickly we turn on you.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Ciaran, why won't you date Yvie? Do you have rules for being open with your partner or no?

[B]

I mean, I feel like I don't like the word rules. Cause I don't like rules. But we do have lots of communication. I was actually. I can't Remember what trick I was talking to about this? That's pretty bad.

[A]

It's okay.

[B]

No, there's, like, different types of openness. And I feel like when we started dating, our big thing was, like, I just want to appreciate you for, like, whatever I get with you. Like, in these little moments we get to see. And we're just not gonna talk about the other guys. And then, like, the more. The more we grew into each other's lives, the more that Covid happened and forced us to live with each other within a year of dating, which is something that I think is pretty fucking radical for any person to be doing.

[C]

That's crazy, actually. I don't see how y' all are still together and doing it. I mean.

[B]

Cause he was. He's. He was just like. He was and is the best person I know. And I hate saying some shit like that, but legitimately, anybody who knows me and knows my husband is so funny how they go from being like, oh.

[C]

My God, I'm hanging out with Yvie.

[B]

Oddly and her husband to being like, oh, Doug, you should invite Yvie along sometime to, like, one of these rave orgies. We're going to 24 7.

[C]

She's totally gatekeeping Doug for me because she keeps telling me that Doug wants to meet and, like, like, loves my voice when historically no one does.

[A]

And I'm just like, historically, nobody likes your voice, girl.

[C]

Just read high key, like, comments like, go there. People have, like, said, my voice is just a mixture of things.

[A]

They're listening, aren't they?

[C]

I know, and I love it, girl. The voice of the voice. I can. I can be in a car and someone will be like, I've heard your voice somewhere. And I'll be like, work. Thank you.

[B]

I feel like that's so cool, because who else can say that but, like, commercial jingle people?

[A]

Yeah, truly.

[C]

Yeah, that's true. But I'd say all that to say is like, I want to meet Doug and potentially sleep with him.

[B]

Well, I mean, go throw it down since they're open.

[A]

Yeah, why not get in there. Make it a little messy. Messy?

[B]

Honestly, I'm trying to. I'm trying to hor him out a little bit more. I'm writing a rap about it, too.

[C]

Not you worrying out your twink, man.

[A]

Do you. Do you have other partners? Are you like. What is that, polyamorous? Or you just open where you. You be and you say thank you? Check, please.

[B]

Okay. It's like. It's like, not even. It's a mix of both. Where I know I. I'M not responsible enough to, like, juggle one relationship. Like, I still don't love me, and yet I'm still tricking all these other people to love me. You know, I hacked RuPaul's system and now it's mine. But I do just love. I love people. I love talking to people. I love talking to strangers. I love hearing their stories. I love making fun of people to their faces right after you nutted in them.

[C]

So are you like a laugher during sex? Do you laugh? You, like, have little jokes? Because I like to do that.

[A]

I'm so sorry. I need to know, after you nut, what's one of the wildest things you've said to somebody?

[C]

Great question.

[B]

Oh, you're asking me the wildest things I've said. I don't remember what I say. I'm hyped up on emotions. I've got post nut clarity. Thoughts are just coming out. Like, I dropped a tab of acid. You know, it's. But I've had so many wild things said to me. Like in that post nut clarity. Like. Like people being like, oh, there was this one guy who, while I was inside of him, still was like, oh, my God, Jinx Monsoon was a lion. I was like, trying to reach around and shut his mouth.

[C]

Like, no, no.

[B]

And he was like, yes, I've become my mother. I came still, but I came and I cried.

[A]

You know, you gotta get it done, Ryan.

[C]

I don't know how we move on from that.

[A]

What's the wildest thing that has been said to you or the wildest thing you've said after? None.

[C]

Oh, great question. I don't even know. Like, I do love a verbal session. I think if anyone is not having non verbal sex, please. Well, that's just psychopath. No, but there's some people that don't like it.

[A]

Do you? Sometimes you're dead silent.

[C]

You don't say anything.

[B]

Okay, so that's the thing, is my job is to talk and relate to people. Like, I love. I love that shit. And I'm the kind of person who will stick their foot in their mouth mouth if I get the chance. So, like, during sex, I don't want to play another character. All I can give you is like, oh, fuck.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

And if I.

[B]

If I say much more than that, then it's just gonna break the character because I'm gonna be like, oh, I'm.

[C]

Trying to fuck slay queen. But what if I'm like, I need a little bit. I need you to call me, you know, some what do you want to call sexy names?

[A]

What do you want to be called? I love slut. I love sexy name. Slut.

[C]

Yes, yes. I mean work.

[B]

What you.

[C]

I am.

[A]

I'm a cute little slut.

[C]

Cute little slut.

[A]

Just a little one.

[C]

I also know that it's quite controversial. Like, people don't like calling, like an ass a pussy. But I do love it.

[B]

I don't think that's a thing anymore. I think.

[C]

I think people hate it.

[B]

People used to hate it. I know that. Cause I used to hate it. But then we all just got grosser as a society. Like, cardi b released wap. And then all of us were like, what is that?

[A]

I got this wet ass.

[B]

Pussy.

[C]

It can be a pussy.

[A]

Anything can be.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And we deserve.

[A]

Wait, what else do you like being called slut? What about whore?

[C]

I do like whore.

[A]

Come. Slut.

[C]

Ooh.

[A]

I do like cum dumpster.

[C]

Okay. I haven't quite experienced that one.

[B]

Oh, she's like, those are on the dream board.

[C]

I'm open. I don't hate it. Especially if we're going multiple rounds, you know, if it's already in there. Yeah. Load it up, load it up, load it up. Barry, put that on my tombstone. Load it up, load it up.

[A]

Brian Mitchell. Load it up.

[C]

We're learning way too much about me on.

[A]

This is one of the wildest dates either of you have been on. Ooh.

[B]

I feel like you probably do more legit dating than I do.

[A]

You just be fucked.

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean, all of my fucks are like dates, but my fucking, they are, you know, they're like a boyfriend for a couple of hours.

[A]

I love that mentality. For a couple of hours, you're mine. And then goodbye.

[B]

Yeah. And the world takes us where we go. Because really, that's what every relationship is. It's just even if you're with the one or whatever, they're just like a long term, short term relationship. You're like, yeah, you're the one until one of us dies.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

And I'm not Romeo and Julietting it. Like, I will go on.

[C]

Like, I watch.

[A]

I'm not drinking the poison. I will. You are Celine Dion. Your heart will go on. That's what you're doing. It will go on. Ryan, wildest date.

[C]

I feel like my recent dates have been like, I've experienced a date with a love bomber.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Which is awful. He was a Sagittarius, like, all the way.

[A]

And what does that mean? I'm not, like, fully into the signs.

[C]

So he's just Awful period, you know, I'm so sorry to my fellow, like. But we went to. I remember we were just going to, like, hang out. We, like, matched on Bumble and which Red Flag.

[A]

And.

I like Bumble.

[C]

I'm so Red Flag. Major Red Flag. And I was like, Somehow I was, like, telling him. He was like, what do you like to do? And I was like, oh, you know, I like to, like, go to dinner. Like, go to art museums, theater. And I also was like, I also love going to, like, aquariums. Even though problematic. That's my problematic hate take. I just. I have, like. I have an emotional tie to aquariums. Cause that's what me and my mom used to do as a kid.

[B]

Oh. Cause we love to see fish in prison.

[C]

Perry. I know.

[A]

It's so awful, but I'm supporting. And you're like, oh, you like to see fish in prison?

[C]

It's my problem.

[A]

You like being a puffer fish.

[C]

I know that about myself.

[A]

You want to see Shamu locked up. That's what you like. That's romance.

[C]

But he was like, okay, well, then let's go for our first date to the aquarium. And it was just like, like, so wrapped up in, like, emotion. And I felt like. Honestly, it felt kind of like a movie. And it kept happening every time we hung out. This is NASA Bay.

[A]

And this is who?

[C]

NASA Bay.

[A]

I thought you said Massa Bay.

[B]

You have to slow it down every time. This is Massa bae.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Bob the Drag Queen.

[A]

I like Bob.

[C]

I do like Bob, too. I love Bob. Bob is actually my number one champagne.

[B]

I just love to stir her pot because I know she's gonna get race bai forever.

[C]

I know. And it sucks. It's so unfair.

[B]

I know. But the more heat she takes, the less heat I take for dating a white guy.

[A]

You know.

[C]

I've only ever dated.

[A]

That's funny. Just put it over there.

[B]

Don't.

[A]

Look over here.

[C]

Look at Bob the Drag Queen. Look at that in a row. But no, he was just, like, a serial love bomber. And, like, he just kept playing with my heart. And I just like, you know what? I can't do it anymore. It's not even, like, crazy as in, like, a thing happened.

[A]

No, no. It was just crazy for you. For you to be like, what is all of this?

[C]

That was awful.

[A]

Why are you asking me my deep secrets and then making them come to fruition?

[C]

Absolutely. Absolutely. And he made it seem like he was, like, really ready for a thing, and he just wasn't.

[A]

Wasn't.

[C]

Okay, See?

[B]

Just was not See, that is why. That's, like, exactly how I date my boyfriends for, like, a day, hour, a week, whatever it is. But the thing is, I'm very open up front. I'm like, hey, so I have addhd and I'm famous. So this is like, I'm gonna give you all the love I can right now because we're all gonna die someday. And I like, like, give him a kiss.

[A]

And they're like, oh, I love terrorists.

[C]

Now, that's a true terrorist. I do not want.

[A]

Well, I don't know. I don't know if that's a terrorist. Being super upfront, this is exactly what you're gonna get.

[B]

Well, also, the big thing. The big thing is, like, I. I just spent so long feeling like there was no chance for me to be loved. Like, I used to be a hardcore listener of why won't you date me? Being like, say.

[C]

We all hate men.

[A]

But it is wild when you do find somebody who's like, no, no, I get you. I understand you well.

[B]

And it allowed me to treat myself with a little more respect and be like, no, no, you deserve love. And I'm so good at, like, loving myself now. I want to help other people love themselves.

[C]

I'm right now with the guy that I'm currently dating because I have realized that I actually get the ick when someone is really nice to me.

[A]

Most people do.

[C]

And it's been something that I've been working through because I like some energy with banter. I like us kind of, like, coming for each other in a little bit of way, literally and figurative. And it's so interesting where I was like, okay, I'm gonna let you know in real time when I'm getting the ick if you've done something. And he's actually very open to it. And it also helps me, like, go at this thing slow. Like, we're going, and we're slowing it down and taking our time.

[A]

I think that's nice. I. With my. The nice man in my life, I've taken. We've. We're moving at a glacial pace, and that's good for both of us on our second date. I've said this before, but he was like, it's nice to see you again. And I said, what do you mean by that?

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

So, like, he was just genuinely like, I like you. It's nice to see you again. And I was like, like, how long has it been? What does that mean? It's been a little over a year.

[C]

And a half work. So wait Y' all are not like boyfriend and girlfriend. Our boyfriend and partner.

[A]

No, he's my boyfriend. But I'm almost 72 years old, and it feels insane to be like, my boyfriend. What do I just see the nice man in my life?

[B]

I mean, I love the idea. I'm so sad that I got married and have a husband now. I mean, not so sad because I just say, what? Health insurance is fierce.

And you guys.

[A]

Got married for health insurance?

[B]

I mean, it wasn't but love, but.

[A]

Also the cherry on top.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Cherry on top was health insurance. The. The cake was so that my grandma would stop being like, who's that guy?

[C]

Who is that?

[B]

Who.

[A]

Oh, husband now.

[B]

But, like, legit. I do have this little kinky fantasy in my head where I'm like, oh, yeah, I just want to. I want to be, like, a 50 year old with a really sloppy puss and a hot boyfriend.

Who also has a really sloppy puss.

[A]

I mean, he's your husband, but he can also just be whatever you want him to be. Literally, he could be your boyfriend with a sloppy puss.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And what do you mean by sloppy puss?

[B]

Okay, I'm gaping.

[C]

Yeah. How sloppy do we want?

[B]

I like a little bit of gape. Honestly, I'm just here for, like, moisture.

[C]

I was telling somebody.

I'm just here.

[A]

For moisture.

With Evie. We're here here for moisture.

[B]

I'm trying to fix the childhood drought I had to face.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Like, I was telling somebody in a public setting last night that, like, I. I think the reason I really like being inside somebody is it reminds me of being in the womb. You know, it's, like, warm.

[C]

Do you remember that?

[A]

Ryan and I both went.

[C]

Well, I wish I remember.

[B]

Yeah, I don't remember it, but I assume it's gotta be the same reason I love taking, like, hot bath.

[C]

The.

[B]

The reason why I will instantly. Anyone who has a hot tub. Like, if you whip a hot tub out on me, I will blow your dick in it and get all sorts.

[C]

Of pink eye and.

[A]

You got the pink eye. You got the preemptive pink eye.

[C]

Where were you before you got here?

[A]

In a hot tub. Sucking dick in a hot tub.

And it got the irises. Real quick. We gotta take a break.

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We'Re back.

[C]

I love that.

[A]

You gotta just keep it silly and fun. So Ryan, do you want to be in a relationship? Like is that, is that something you want or are you just having fun hoeing around?

[C]

Okay, so quote from my best friend recently, okay, was I think you hate being happy and they said it In a really, like. No, they were so real when they meant it. Like, they meant that shit. And it's not that I hate being happy. It's just I'm such a pessimist. I'm not even sure if it's real. And I don't wanna accept if it is real because then I'm letting all these guards down, and then it's like, I'm in it because I know me. Once I'm in a relationship, bitch, I am in it. That's the reason why I stayed in a toxic relationship for five years. And so it's so. It's like, as I'm getting older, I do want a partner. I just want to make sure it's for real. Like, they not only have their shit together, but they're also accepting all of my sloppy pussy stuff.

[B]

That's so real.

[A]

It is very real. And, Yvie, it feels like you don't have a guard up at all.

[B]

I learned I still do, actually. That's the crazy part is there's still so much of a guard that's like.

Like, been built up after thinking you were too weird or too this or too whatever that. And like, after I came out as gay and I was still too many of too many different things, I was like, oh, this and that guard got so tall. Until people started telling me how much they wanted to fuck my dad and I realized I'm his child.

[A]

Can I just say, you say a lot of sentences where I'm like, yes. Yeah. Wait, what?

[C]

This is what it means to be working with every single week.

[A]

So you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You realized you were fuckable because people wanted to fuck your dad.

[C]

Which, honestly. She's making points. Her dad is fine.

[A]

Yes. Because he was at the finale and RuPaul even was like, oh, yes. Right.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like, right there.

[C]

And you come from a history of, like, black. Like, black kings.

[A]

Like, yes. Your grandparents started the Black Panthers in Denver. Yeah.

[B]

It's fucking cool. It's so cool. Like, hearing the stories about all the crazy shit my grandparents would be doing while my dad and his brother were just trying to live their lives, like, at a football game. And then their dad goes to Dale for whipping out a gun and be like, fuck these crackers.

[C]

Oh, my God, watch out. Paul Thomas Anderson's ready to write a movie about it.

He's so ready.

[A]

He's listening right now, and he's like.

[C]

Tommy Domingo can play your dad.

[B]

Listen, he could, too.

[C]

And I would be fucking.

[B]

No, like, legit, legit. Realizing that my dad is such a Similar person to me. I've always identified with my mom, who, like, grew up being like, oh, I'm too quirky. She was always the never had been kissed story. Even though I always thought she was, like, the most beautiful person in the world. If she would just take off her glasses and pull out her ponytail.

[C]

Oh, very Anne Hathaway and Princess Diaries.

[A]

Or she's all that.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Clean up that paint. Take those overalls off. Put that hair down. Take off the glasses.

[C]

She was always pretty. She just needed to take her glasses.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. You just need to be blind, bitch. But, like, I always felt like that that was my story that I. I grabbed from my mom. And it wasn't until I got older, and I've always known my dad was hot. Everybody has always told me I've always had eyes of my own. Like, so I've always known he was hot, but it wasn't until I got older.

[A]

You can appreciate the attractiveness of a parent. You. You're making a face.

[C]

Well, you.

[B]

You can't.

[A]

Like this. You can appreciate. You could be like, my parent is hot.

[C]

My dad was attractive, I guess. Yeah. I just want to say hot.

[B]

Hot is the word that.

[A]

No, my dad.

[C]

Parent. Hot is just.

[A]

I don't know. My dad was hot. I saw an old picture of him at my grandmother's house on the wall.

[C]

My mom was hot when she was.

[A]

Who the fuck is that? And they were like, your dad.

[C]

And I was like, ooh, that's what I'm saying. Oh, my God. That's what I'm saying. So you. I would. I. I just. I don't know the language.

[A]

Hot.

[C]

It's just.

[B]

You say that, but after you've been on enough Internet and seen what they've said about your parents. Okay, like, hot is the most PG13 thing that.

[C]

Don't look at my tweets. Cause I probably said some things about your daddy, too.

Same, same.

[B]

But I learned that he was always as insecure and weird and this and that as me and probably as gay if he just let himself be. God damn it. But, like, it was realizing that he had all of that. That, like, there still is this chillness about him. And I realized that I just have to, like, give myself more credit. I have to suck the dicks that want me when they want me. And eventually other dicks will be gravitating towards that energy of, like, damn, look at that bitch just going to town.

[C]

And that's something I had to learn because look at.

[A]

I would love for someone in the corner just Being like, oh, look at that bitch going to town. Maybe they'll gobble me up too.

[C]

That was him last night.

[B]

Honestly, it's been there before. Silky. One of our first times hanging out off of our season. She was like, at a sex party with me in Denver. Just like watching me go into town, being like, that's my sister.

[A]

I love the support.

[C]

I do too, actually. I love that we need more support like, that we do. But that is something that I feel like I've had to learn. Because being in like queer spaces, especially as someone who occupies like being like a fat person in a space, it really does, like, it can't impact what you think you are and who you think you are. And it took me a very long time to be like, okay, this person isn't some weird like fat chaser and just only wants me my curves and is actually wanting me for me. And I deserve that thing. Like, I deserve the attention of someone that really wants me.

[A]

That is a hard thing to navigate as a fat person being like, well, do you like my body? Do you just like my body? Like, what do you actually like about me? And then taking up space unintentionally is a weird thing where people turn and look at you when you walk in the room and it's like, well. Cause I'm bigger than everybody in this room, literally. And so do you think you fully embraced that now?

[C]

I think I. It's a journey for me. Right. Cause I'm not gonna lie to you. I think I do carry myself in a confidence. Right. I love style. It's the way that I've used kind of my style as sort of like a protest in some ways of being like, you think you know what fat people are supposed to look like in a room? Bitch, I'm gonna come dress down where you have. No, you have to give me a compliment, girl.

[B]

And she is always the most dressed out too.

[A]

I mean, this look, when you walked in, I was like, I love this. Thank you, big bud. Press.

[C]

Oh, shout out to them. But it is one of those things where it's like, I most definitely believe now. But even with the guy that I'm dating now. I remember when we were in it having sex and I just was like, you know, I appreciate you for not making me feel weird about.

[A]

It was this like mid thrush.

[C]

It was. It actually was. I love. I'm that girl. I love that, you know, I like talk. And we've that kind of was like our thing where we're. We end up going off and on hooking up and talking, and it just creates this safety. And I was just like, I really appreciate the way that you're handling my body right now because it's important. And I don't know what's telling me to tell you this, but I need you to know that the last guy I fucked was so fucking weird and made me feel gross.

[B]

It's so sad, though. Cause there's always gonna be this gamble. And the further you are away from whatever you perceive as being the passable normal that everybody is, like, the more barriers you do hold on yourself. I like. Like, whether it's about, like, how big you are, how feminine. I remember getting so insecure when I found out that my husband, like, somehow just kept fucking other drag queens. I was like, oh, so you only like me because my job is to dress up like a lady and you can tell that underneath? And I'm like, well, he's not trying to fetishize me. He's not, like, going out on Grindr. Be like, yes, bit.

[A]

Have you fucked your husband in drag?

[B]

Great question.

[C]

Oh, my God. I need to know.

[B]

I think we fucked once while I was in drag, and it was, like, a late night drunk thing. And he always says he, like, rolled over in the morning and almost had a heart attack. He was like, what the.

Who's this? Yeah, like, me with all my smeared ass.

Like, morning breath being morning cum breath.

[C]

Being you and your pussycat. Wig. Oh, girl, the wig.

[B]

The wig's the first thing that come off.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I always wonder, though, especially with drag queens and, like, drag, like, chasers, I guess.

Do you care if someone knows that you're, like, a queen? Or, like, they're actually a.

[A]

What's a turn off? Is it a turn off when someone's just like, oh, I'm your biggest fan. You fuck me now.

[C]

I mean, I wouldn't say the biggest.

[B]

Turn off, but it's probably not the biggest turn on to be like, yeah, you look up to me in a weird, idealistic way. I'm so hard, I'm gonna wreck that puss.

It's not. I, like, I don't mind it. It's about this energy that comes with it. Like, if you can. One of the reasons I like sex is it breaks down all of these barriers and we're forced to be so vulnerable with somebody. So, like, if we're able to get to the sexual part without you. You making some reality TV joke at me, then we're probably gonna be chill. And it's only like, a quarter of the guys who, even after that point, will do something else that will give me the ick. Like, after we fuck, they'll be like, hey, I know who you are. And I'll be like, oh, this is a 50 50. It could go either way. And they're either the guys who are like, I know who you are. Just wanted to say, big fan.

[C]

Cool.

[B]

And I'm like, we're gonna fuck again. Or they're the people who are like, and Bianca Del Rio said. And, oh, here's that picture I have with Trixie and yes, Queen RuPaul. I fucked a guy like that last week, and I'm still scarred. He sent me a picture of the first time.

[A]

I love it. It's fresh.

[C]

Not last week, it's fresh. That's why I feel right now.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You sent me a picture of the first time we met, and I was like, you're so hot. Why did you. Like, he's still hot in the picture, but. But, like, he's ruined.

[A]

It's jarring.

[C]

He just ruined that.

[A]

That's absolutely jarring. We've met before. I have a picture now. We fucked. And now I'm reminding you of the first time we.

[C]

Ooh, wait, has that happened with you, though?

[A]

Like, I mean, I usually fuck straight men, and they like to tell me they've never heard of me.

[C]

Oh, work, work.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just to keep you humble.

[A]

Just to bring me down a couple of pegs.

[C]

They're like, no, I'm not gonna tell her. I just saw her looking fabulous at the Emmys. No.

[A]

Yeah, I once dated. No, we hooked up. We didn't date. But he was like, I don't know who you are. And I was like, okay, sweet. And he's like, but I've seen you on Conan. I was like, okay. And he's like, and I know you have a podcast. And I was like, so you.

[C]

Sounds like you, like, are familiar. I'm so sorry you have to date straight men.

[A]

I know that's.

[C]

That sounds.

[B]

What's your favorite thing about dating straight men, though? Like, imagine dating one of us. Because it's easy to shit on straight. It is so easy.

[A]

It's very easy to shit on straigh.

[B]

What is, like, a good thing that you're like, oh, yeah, I love it.

[C]

I'm constantly like, why would a man be there? Like, I'm very Whoopi Goldberg coded when it comes to that.

[A]

I don't want a man in my house.

[C]

Please. Like, why?

[A]

I think the best thing about dating a straight man is Sometimes the toxic masculinity, where they're like, I have to open the door for you. I have to, you know, pay for this. Or like, I'm. I'm going to do this thing for you that is like, classically, you know, the man does it.

[C]

That's why I date bisexual guys, too.

[A]

Oh, there you go. They're awesome because sometimes they're like. Sometimes the toxic part is not so bad.

[B]

You're like, oh, no. Oh, God, I'm such a strong woman.

[A]

Yep. I have on many occasions been like, can you fix this for me? I can fix it.

I have a toolbox. I can do it. I know how to use a drill. But, you know, sometimes I'll be like, do this. And then they're like, they feel really good.

[B]

Well, I mean, it's true, because men.

[C]

Used to go to war, and they should, like, they. They. Please, let's bring that back.

[A]

Bring war back? Yeah, bring wars back. Our president's like, okay, I'm ready.

[C]

After this nap.

[A]

After this nap in the Oval Office.

[C]

I'll get on it, droopy face.

[A]

But, yeah, send them to war. What would I do in a war? I don't know. Ah, I break a nail, and I'm like, well, I'm down for the count. Like, I'm going to be useless in a war.

[C]

I'm giving pop hosts war massages.

[B]

See, I was gonna say, I'm only good for chemical warfare. Send me in there fresh out of an orgy. Throw me into another orgy. Tell me there's no dark side.

[A]

Throw me into the orgy. And it's like, I don't know. If World War II had an orgy.

[C]

That's actually the war. I would prefer the world would be a better place, whoever wins that one.

[A]

I've never been to a sex party, Ryan. Have you?

[C]

Oh, I totally have gone up.

[A]

I know Yvie has. I've never been to a Licking them teeth.

[C]

I've never been to a sex party. Unless you count Slammers.

[A]

What's Slammers?

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

You don't know what Slammers is?

[B]

Okay, it sounds very Sex party girl.

[C]

Okay, so Slammers is a sex club out here that is actually, like, it's east side, so it kind of is a little bit grungy, and it has, like, more of, like, a bare fear. Like, if precinct had, like, dark rooms everywhere, it would be that. And it was actually the first time moving out here, I found out that sex clubs were actually a thing.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah. I never heard. I mean, where did you live before Nashville, Tennessee. I'm from the Bible Belt, you know, like, there's. I just never imagined that. And so when I found that out and I went, oh, my God. I have frequent. Tons. Oh, my God.

[A]

I actually.

[C]

I've had an experience where I didn't even get to go in because I saw a guy that was just so fine. I was about to go in. I literally rolled down my window and I was like, how are you doing? And he was about to leave, and he was like, what are you. Like, why are you just sitting in your car? I was like, I was about to go in, but now I'm looking for. And then we ended up. Crazy thing. This is the craziest thing I've ever actually done. And I can't believe I'm saying this publicly. I followed him to his hotel and gave him the best head of my life.

[A]

Why can't you believe you're saying that?

[C]

Because it was a complete stranger. I could have died that night. I was actually driving. I was driving, following him, being like, if I get murdered, who is going to help?

[A]

I was like, I'm sorry. Driving, following. Is this man walking?

[C]

No, he was in his car and I was behind him. Cause he was like, follow me. I'm like five minutes away. It was actually like 10. And I just was like. I just kept thinking. I was like, I am horny. But is it worth potential death? It's always. Always. And it was.

[B]

I think it's actually a part of, like, what makes sex really hot is you think about, like, spiders and shit. The men are, like, crawling out anytime you.

[C]

Even spiders.

[B]

But no, like, legit. Even spiders. Any spider you've seen in your home usually is just a horny dude being like, I gotta go and gotta find some black widow. I'm like, they're crawling around looking for it. They. They get killed if they don't get sex. They get killed and eaten if they do get sex. It's the danger that, like, makes you feel alive.

[C]

We're all spiders.

[A]

We're all little spiders.

[B]

My husband and I can't have sex without, like, knives at each other's throats anymore.

[A]

Is this real?

[B]

No.

[C]

I wish. And also, did you just describe the plot of, like, Charlotte's Web?

[A]

That's what that children's book was about.

[C]

I actually am the little piggy.

[A]

Actually, I am. The little piggy is just iconic.

[C]

I think I am.

[A]

I think I'm the little piggy.

[C]

And I would prefer.

[B]

And I'm the spider teaching you how to read?

[C]

Yes. A bitch named Charlotte always gives cut.

[A]

Maybe that's what Kiss of the Spider Woman's about. Haven't seen it.

[C]

I haven't seen it either. And I do wanna see it. Cause I'm trying not to, like, let reviews, like, from critics tell me what I need to see.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Like, fuck off. That's. If we actually, like, believed a critic, we wouldn't have the iconicness of all Sphere and Ryan Murphy.

I'm like, I'm just saying, y' all will not make me hate it. It's an awful show. But if, you know, if you're going into it, it's awful. You know that. If you know that Ryan Murphy is the white Tyler Perry, then what?

[B]

Oh, that's very, very. Oh, real. I never saw him that way because.

[C]

I never saw his Madea. Like, absolutely.

[A]

Where is his Madea?

[C]

Wasn't it, like, in Nip Tuck playing some transphobic character?

[A]

I love that you brought up Nip Tuck. Nip Tuck is one of my favorite shows. It was out of control. There were storylines where I'd be sitting there being like, what? Literally, he's always been on coming back next week.

[C]

So why are we shocked that he gave Kim Kardash shit and made this show for her? It's like, just watch it. Live for it.

[A]

I do like the clips where they show Kim's reaction shots. Because I'm like, this is shady.

[C]

Because. Because she'll be, like, frozen, Just frozen in time.

[A]

And I'm like, why did we do that?

[C]

And you have, like, Sarah Paulson and G. Glenn Close.

[A]

And she's doing the most. Doing the most.

[C]

I need 70,000 more seasons. Just like Grey's Anatomy. I'm watching that to the wheels for all.

[A]

I can't wait to get into it. I've been waiting. Have you watched it, Eevee?

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Tv.

[C]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

I watch tv. It's just. I watch TV when somebody else puts it on.

[C]

That's real.

[B]

Otherwise, like, I'm too distracted. I'm, like, writing. Writing a rap. I'm thinking about answering an email someday. I'm actually probably on a slut app, avoiding cleaning my room on Sniffies.

[A]

It's just funny that you said thinking about writing an email.

That'S the realest shit. I'm constantly like, I should write that email.

[C]

I should get back to that.

[A]

I don't know if I'm gonna do that today.

[C]

Being on a show with her has made me really realize, like, I. I am actually so type A. And I didn't think that I was originally, but like, you're a type B guy.

[A]

Yes. When you meet a type B person, you're like, whoa. I didn't know my unstructured life actually had a little bit of structure. I was like, I thought I was a little type B.

[C]

Maybe I do have it together. But knowing that Yvie doesn't even know what our calendar is, sometimes I'd be like, how I look at that. Like, maybe five. Like, every day.

[B]

I look at it every day, too. That's how I know what day I'm in right now.

[A]

Yvie, I'm with you on that. I never know what I'm doing until the day before. Cause Mars will send me a nice little email to be like, are we recording tomorrow? And I'm like, ah, yes, I'm recording tomorrow.

[B]

This shit is just, like, so up in the air. Life is so chaotic. Like, every. Especially every day during a Trump presidency is like a year.

[A]

Truly. There's something new every goddamn day.

[B]

So it's like, girl, I gotta get through the war. We started today. I gotta find my phone somewhere.

[C]

Which ruined the View for me. Everything going on. I can't even watch the View anymore.

[A]

It's not fun.

[C]

It's not. And that was my favorite thing to do in the morning besides watch Charmed reruns on tn.

[A]

I do love Charmed.

[C]

Wait, I do too.

[B]

I was running Charmed.

[C]

Oh, girl, they've been running Charmed since I was 12. What? That's how I was sneaking and watching it. Cause my mom, anytime she caught me with any sort of witchcraft in a very religious home, she was like, oh, I rebuke thee. And so I would watch Charmed on, like, volume level three and read the captions and fall in love with Cole and Phoebe's, like, toxic relationship. They actually raised me. They're the reason why I was in so many toxic relationships before now.

[A]

Ooh, wow. You heard it here. Don't watch Charmed. No, he's done Witchcraft. Bad toxicity.

[C]

I moved to the area I live in because Charmed right up. The Charmed house is right up the street.

[B]

Wasn't TNT also the channel that, like, had, like, the dog who has the voice like mine and smokes a cigar? And they had Pam Anderson's, like, Stripperella cartoon. Am I making this up? Is that another cartoon?

[C]

Are you TNT with Adult Swim?

[B]

No, no, I'm talking about, like, tnt, like, explosions and movies.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

Well, wait, I feel like Pam Anderson's show. Are you talking about vip?

[B]

No, no. There was this, like, cartoon she had in the early 2000s called like Stripperella. And it was an adult animation about, I guess some girl who was a stripper.

[A]

You're right. It was Stan Lee. Stripperella. Stan Lee.

[B]

I know.

[C]

Cause I was like, I thought you ate that.

[A]

I was so excited. Is this Marvel? Is this Marvel? It was an adult animated superhero comedy television series created by Stan Lee for Spike tv. Okay, Spike tv. TV for men.

[C]

That's right. Oh my God.

[A]

Remember when channels had a specific skew? Like Spike was TV for Men. USA was like characters welcome. No, maybe it was tbs. No USA characters welcome. Tbs. Very funny.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

MTV Music TV Liars.

[B]

They were lying about that for a decade.

[C]

Him was like the. Wasn't Nick at Night its own channel? Or was that just the Nickelodeon?

[A]

It was Nickelodeon, but at night. It became Nick at Night and it did reruns.

[C]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Which I would watch. That's how I got familiar with like all the classics. Like Cosby show, the. Oh my God, three. The. What's the Three?

[A]

Company.

[C]

Freeze Company. Yes. It's a step by step potential. I always love. I never.

[B]

I never watch Nick at night.

[C]

Oh, I love.

[B]

Well, because Nickelodeon. Okay, so Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network are like battling forces in a child's brain, right? Yes, true.

[C]

And Disney, don't forget Disney.

[B]

No, because Disney. Disney is not battling for shit.

[C]

Disney is different. Disney girl.

[A]

Yeah, but Disney was mostly live action or like Ducktales. It's classics.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And Disney is Disney 24 hours. I'm talking about something that is like trying to get your children in the daytime and then at nighttime is like, here's some adult shit.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But maybe it was trying to give kids culture.

[B]

But that's the thing is I was.

[A]

Just like, watch the old shit.

[C]

Watch the way to network.

Because Cartoon Network had boondocks, Right?

[B]

Well, it has Adult Swim in general. And I've always been an Adult Swim girly. Cause it gives a very like 30 something burnout stoner living in their parents basement.

[A]

Like Aqua Team Hunger for.

[B]

Yeah, that's still my personality.

[C]

Horse Jack.

[A]

BoJack Horseman.

[C]

Yes. I knew it was something.

[A]

That's funny that we got there. You were like Bones, Jack Horse, Jack Bowman, have.

That's also on Netflix.

[C]

Oh.

Well, because we were talking about. Recently I revealed that I have never seen the Simpsons.

[A]

I've only seen one episode of the Simpsons.

[C]

Sister. Thank you. And do you think the Simpsons are black Because Marge has a texture. Yes.

[A]

And she wears a bonnet.

[C]

And they said. Someone in the comments said she's Creol.

[B]

Yeah. Her name is like Bouvier, which is Creole.

[C]

That's not like they are black. Because even Bart or Bert, whatever his name, he got Bert. Bert. He got a high tie. Is that it?

[A]

You says Bert, Bert or whatever his name is, Bert.

[C]

They gotta hide.

[A]

You know it's Bart.

[C]

Is it? No, I really don't.

[A]

And Bart stayed in trouble.

[C]

Oh, please.

[A]

I feel like in school the black kids are policed a little bit harder.

[C]

But then you were like, they actually have black characters on the show.

[B]

I like darker skin tones, I think eventually. Well, that's the thing is they had.

[A]

Well, they are yellow.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

And then on a lot of kids shows, it's like the purple characters black. So I don't know.

[C]

I think except for Cleveland. Cleveland was just.

[A]

That's straight up black.

[B]

Well, I mean, after a while, I thought they had the. Cause he was voiced by a white guy. They were like, oh, Cleveland was.

[C]

No, was that Big Mouth?

[B]

Uh, it was all Big Mouth. Took that note and was like, okay.

[C]

We'Re gonna replace her.

[A]

We're gonna do a little recast.

[C]

And then make a joke about it in the episode. My voice has changed a little bit. But Cleveland was a white guy through the movie. You got me to watch Big Mouth. You were the, like, main reason why I watched Big Mouth.

[B]

And that's where you learned about sex?

[C]

Yes.

Yes.

[A]

As a full grown adult. And that's how you learned about sex. You're like, I should have it Great. Yeah. The nice man in my life, he. I was like, I put on a bonnet. And I was like, have you ever seen one of these? And he was like, I've dated black women. Also, Marge wears a bonnet. And I was like, oh, no.

[C]

Them schooling you on bonnet culture is crazy.

[B]

And then also being like, the Simpsons have a bonnet girl, you are missing.

[C]

Out on black culture. Marge is black. I'm so happy we have settled it here. You heard it here first.

[A]

We have to take one more break.

Oh, boy. I love a holiday sale. And Macy's Friends and Family might be the one I look forward to the most because this is where all the good stuff finally goes on sale. It is truly the best time to get gifts or treat yourself. You get 30 off their top brands like Kendra Scott, Steve Madden, DKNY, and then 15 off Beauty from brands like Lancome and Carolina Herrera. That doesn't happen often. And Macy's really makes it easy to shop for people. They have so many beauty sets that are already packaged to give. So guess what? You don't have to do anything. And if you have someone in your life who loves a little sparkle, they also have fine jewelry up to 50 off. And why not get something for your holiday looks too? Designer dresses and workwear are 30 off and their seasonal pieces like overcoats and suits are up to 60% off. And if you're hosting this year, Macy's even has dealt with for that. Their Christmas dinnerware and table linens from Lenox and Villeroy are up to 65% off. So you can upgrade your table and feel very fancy. So go take advantage of it while it's happening. Macy's Friends and Family is the perfect time to get your holiday shopping done for less. The hardest people to shop for tend to be the ones you love the most. You know the people who say they don't want anything, but you know deep down in their hearts they do. For those kinds of people, aura frames are the perfect gift. It is a gorgeous, gorgeous digital picture frame that people will actually enjoy having in their home. I got one for a friend and the fun part was I could preload it with photos of our favorite memories, trips, holidays, memes and little moments before it even shipped. You can keep adding new photos all year long straight from the Aura app on your phone. Plus, every frame comes with a really beautiful premium gift box with no price tag, so you don't even have to have to wrap it. It's thoughtful, easy, and looks like you planned it for months. You can't wrap togetherness, but you can frame it for a limited time. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get 35 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by wire cutter. By using promo code date me at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code date me. This deal is exclusive to my listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get it in time for holidays. Support my show by mentioning us at the checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Beep boop bop bop. We're back. Do either of you have any advice for single people listening right now?

[B]

Yeah, don't take advice from anyone who's not single. They don't know what the fuck is up. They're not in these streets.

[C]

Also, don't take advice from single people because we all are pretty jaded and it's the ghetto out here and we are really just trying to thrive and survive in the midst of everything, everything else going on. So honestly, continue to fuck yourself.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like use your Hands, use the toy. They will never let you down. That's my vibe. Unless you meet someone in a. Meet cute and, like, you're at TJ's or something and you meet someone.

[A]

Trader Joe's.

[C]

Yes. You know, and like. Yeah, but honestly, we're all going through it together. And if you are in a relationship and you. Unless you absolutely need to get out of it, stay in it. It's the guy that's the easiest side. You don't want to deal with it. You don't want to deal with it. You don't want to deal with it.

[B]

I take a black eye every now.

[C]

Oh, now, hold on.

[B]

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I can take a black guy as long as I stretch beforehand.

[C]

See, that was two different kinds of black guys.

[A]

How are you stretching?

How? With, like, a speculum?

[B]

I honestly should. I should. I just don't. I'm too lazy. Even as a kid, like, when I got curious about my butthole, it went straight from finger into didgeridoo. Like, I realized I was the first foreign object inside me.

[C]

Oh, what's a didgeridoo?

[A]

It is a long thing that's like.

[C]

Oh, it's like a. It's like a.

[A]

Is this a. Or did you actually put a didgeridoo inside of you?

[B]

You better believe I didgery did.

[C]

Girl.

Please.

[A]

And that's how I know you grew up in a creative household. You just had a didgeridoo. Your mama white, your parents.

[B]

It wasn't theirs. It was my little sister's.

[A]

Did you at least tell her you put her musical instrument up your asshole?

[B]

No, because I used a condom. It was all safe.

[C]

I don't even know how to do all of that. Like, that's actually. That's actually really great to know.

[B]

I was. I was just like a sexually forward child. I think my mom recognized that when I kept getting caught in daycare naked with other kids. And she was like, we're going to talk about sex. Like, I've known about it from a pretty young age. Was always, like, waiting for my moment to shine.

[A]

Waiting for your didgeridoos.

[C]

There just was nothing else around the house that wasn't didgeridoos.

[B]

Well, I mean, it was fingers. And then it was like, I heard my friend, she was like, yeah, I do an electric toothbrush. And I was like, that's wild. That sounds like a death trap. This didgeridoo has memories, though. She's been in my house forever. Sometimes it makes that.

[A]

Are you still there?

[C]

I hope not.

[A]

Do you visit the Didgeridoo.

[B]

I really. I hope not there only. Cause, like, all of us kids made one in the same elementary school, and I can't tell you which one has been inside me anymore.

[C]

I just have. I've just never. This is my first time actually hearing the word didgeridoo. I'm not even lying to you. I don't even know what it looks like a didgeridoo.

[A]

It's like a. It's like a long, right? It's like.

[B]

Yeah, it's just like a long tube thing in Australia. It's like, actually made out of trees and wood and shit in. In the middle of Colorado. It's made out of PVC pipe and some probably pretty toxic paint.

[C]

I think the you should do after this is call your sister and let.

[B]

Her know she knows. No, she doesn't. And I don't want her to.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

We love you.

[A]

She might watch this. She's just found out she's playing her Disney dude.

[C]

She's like, no.

No wonder. I just caught a hair in my tooth.

[A]

I hated that.

[C]

Whatever.

[B]

We made beautiful music.

[A]

Wait, Ryan, you worked for the NFL for a point, right? Yes.

[C]

I had a partnership with the NFL as their first LGBTQ brand ambassador. I curated. One thing I really love to do and historically have done is, like, wherever queer people have been historically told not to go, I'm like, fuck that we're going to go. And I somehow fell into, like, the world of the NFL, and they were like, we really wanna start reaching queer audiences in an authentic way, not in, like, a brand. Oh, we're gonna try this and it doesn't work. And so I ended up curating this dinner series called the Exchange, where I bring, like, incredible queer leaders and tastemakers to a space to meet NFL folks to be like, okay, this is where you get the money at. Make sure, like, you pocket that. And then also, we partner with the team and I take them to, like, a VIP experience of their first football game. And so just imagine a whole bunch of, like, black, queer trans folks, like, on the side of a football field being like, so is he supposed to be doing that? And, like, it's just so. It was. It's such an incredible, like, it was such a great time. I did it for two seasons, and I'm still doing some stuff and planning some things with them, but it's been really cool. Cause I never played sports. It's not like I know what the fuck is going on, but I love just watching people and being in spaces where everyone is just, like, slaying. And doing and performing at their highest. I find that very interesting.

[A]

God, that's so funny to imagine. Just a bunch of gay people who just don't know what's going on, being like, yes, diva. No, you did something diva.

[C]

It's literally Beyonce at the tennis competition where she's like, yes. I don't know what just happened, but yes, Birdie.

[A]

That's how. Yeah, I don't know. I don't understand sports. I'm like, you go do your thing.

[C]

But it's cool. It's literally all my work has been at the center of really important culture work and being a connector between me and. To the people that I really am fans of and their work and allowing to amplify them. That's what I love. That's why I like us having guests on our show and queens on. And I'm like, first of all, I'm a Drag Race fan at the end of the day. So the fact that I get to hang out with all you crazy bitches, I am living. I'm living. It's just so cool. And we have some really cool guests coming on. And so I'm just. It's right. It's really cool.

[A]

Well, divas, we've reached the end. Is there anything you want to promote? When do episodes of High Key come out?

[C]

Monday.

[A]

Okay. And where can people find it? Anywhere they get podcasts, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, anywhere you get podcasts. YouTube. You can watch us on the Instagrams and the TikTok we love.

[C]

We've been telling people, we've been forcing people actually leave a review. Like, we like to know how we're doing. I mean, we're both Leos, so, you know, giving us compliments actually really works for us in productivity. Yeah, we need the compliments to continue to do great.

[A]

Honestly, I think that's nice to say, give us compliments. Cause a lot of people feel like they have to review with something negative. And you don't have to. You can say.

[B]

And you know what, girl? Life is about lying to all sorts of people. So just do it.

[C]

Feed me and please.

[A]

Life is lying.

[C]

Convince Yvie that I could be Stevie, oddly, her drag child one day. I'm trying to.

[A]

You wanna do drag?

[C]

I want her to put me in drag. Just to try it.

[A]

Oh, come on.

[B]

I'll do. I literally will do it. I like putting people in drag. I just, like, feel bad cause I'm so lazy. Girl, you're not.

[A]

That's funny. You're gonna get what I give you.

[C]

I don't take a. I'm like, stevie Oddly at your service.

[A]

Stevie Oddly is a great drag name.

[C]

Shanku Lake came up with it.

[A]

Really fun. La Viebo M. Is this an ode to Rent?

[C]

Is it?

[B]

It really is. It really is. I was like, I wanted a neck tattoo, but I'm also gay.

[C]

You chose the right one.

[A]

I love that. And I've been listening to Rent non stop for the last week.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yes. And I've been waiting to ask. I was like, la Vi.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It'S in my head. So now it's on my neck.

[A]

It's a. It's. I love it. Well, that's it for this episode of why won't you date me? If you like it, you could rate it. You can subscribe. Give me 5 stars on Apple podcasts. Write me a review saying something nice. But also, if you want to write me something nasty hitting on me, you can write it to why won't you date me? Podcastmail.com Please keep it, like, short.

But this person writes, Hi, Nicole, I'm part of of a trans couple and my boyfriend and I would like to treat you like the nasty woman you are. I would pound you from behind with my girl dick while you're face deep in his bussy, munching away. Nom, nom, nom, nom.

Then we would switch positions while you're feing my delicious glock.

[C]

Glock. Gawk, gawk. Oh, girl, girl.

[A]

Cock, girl.

[C]

Innovative.

[A]

While he fists you with his tiny little hands. Then we say, hey, what's that delicious sm? I think our roommate's making clam chowder. You scream, no, but you're having such a good time that you barely even mind when we get some bowls of that chowdy and eat it while we continue to fuck. You're having such a good time that you even licked chowder off my titties after I drip on them accidentally. After you've orgasmed a hundred times from our amazing sex, we finally lay down and relax together, eating more soup. You also eat ango. Hmm. This is delicious because now you have a positive association with clam chowder and hot trans sex. Your clam chowder phobia is cured. From Finn and Sabrina. Thank you. That was fun.

[C]

Well, nice to meet you. I'm Finn.

[A]

Well, let's get to the chowder, Finn.

Bye.

[B]

That was a headgum podcast.