Pikachu, I Choose You! (w/ Sarah Natochenny)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: Pikachu, I Choose You! (w/ Sarah Natochenny)
Date: May 1, 2026
Host: Nicole Byer
Guest: Sarah Natochenny (voice of Ash Ketchum in Pokémon)

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Main Theme

This episode centers on dating, singlehood, and self-fulfillment, with voice actor Sarah Natochenny joining Nicole for a candid, funny, and heartfelt conversation. They discuss dating apps, pet adoption, maintaining friendships, avoiding “red flags,” and the joy of embracing life as a single person. Sarah shares stories from her own dating experiences, offering relatable and occasionally outrageous anecdotes, and also reflects on the impact of playing Ash Ketchum for a generation of fans.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Breaking the Ice: Who is Sarah Natochenny?

• Sarah has been the English voice of Ash Ketchum in Pokémon for nearly 20 years and is celebrating the franchise’s 30th anniversary.
• She’s starring in “Jesus 2” on Animation Plus and appearing in the upcoming live-action films "Raccoon" and "Buy Nothing."

Memorable Quote:

“Nicole, I choose you!” (Sarah, in Ash’s voice, [05:10])

2. On Being Single, Content, and Picky

• Sarah happily identifies as single and is not actively seeking a relationship, saying her “eyes are open but not hungry” ([06:18]).
• Both women reflect on transitioning from actively seeking love to feeling fulfilled and only interested in a relationship if it's truly exceptional.
• Nicole: “If love comes, it comes. If it doesn’t, I’ll just keep having this really nice life.” ([07:02])
• Sarah laments dating app culture and how texting feels unnatural or forced ([08:10 – 09:45]):
  • “You’re a stranger. Why would I continuously text you?” (Sarah, [08:29])
  • Both agree that modern flirting and connection is harder via text.

3. The Joys and Trials of Animal Companionship

• Sarah’s cat Pikachu is “the love of my life” ([11:56]), rescued from the streets of New Jersey, and she has fostered over 100 cats and kittens in the past ([13:10]).
• Discussion about fostering animals and the importance of animal rescue, and how it connects to saying goodbye—a theme resonant with Sarah’s depiction of Ash, who often parts with beloved Pokémon ([20:06]).
• Nicole and Sarah bond over relationships with pets and how they often give comfort and meaning outside of dating ([15:22]).

4. Dating App Fatigue and First Date Fails

• Both recount their frustrations with dating apps like Hinge and Raya:
  • Nicole likens finally getting on Raya to waiting in line for a club only to find there’s “nothing in here” ([11:36]).
• Worst Date Story: Sarah details a date at an upscale but functionally closed sporting club ([35:32 – 39:24]), where the host interviewed her like a job candidate, there was no decent coffee, and her mom had to drive and wait for her.
  • “He brought me to a place that sucks…” ([36:39]).
  • “After this, my mom is never waiting for me when I’m on a date again.” ([39:07])
• Both lament men’s lack of effort, conversation skills, and general dating etiquette, pointing to a “male epidemic of loneliness” ([40:20]).

5. Red Flags and Dating Turn-Offs

Sarah shares her “red flag” list ([56:41–61:17]):

• Asking for her number before meeting in person
• Asking questions and interrupting answers within seconds
• Love bombing (“If you’re doing it prematurely, my eyes are rolling in the back of my head.” [59:28])
• Over-Googling before dates and acting like a fan
• Bragging about previous romantic conquests
• Negging and being combative (“Are we having a conversation or are you just combating everything I’m saying?” [61:02])
• Men insisting women should have children and refusing to accept her choice not to be a mother

6. The Influence of Ash Ketchum on Sarah’s Life

• Sarah credits voicing Ash with making her more adventurous and helping her embrace the outside world and new experiences ([20:06]).
  • “I think Ash has inspired me to be a lot of the person that I am today, actually.” ([20:10])

7. Favorite Travel and Traveling Solo

• Sarah’s travel advice: “Do not wait, ever. Don’t wait for anyone to travel.” ([23:11])
• Favorite places: Barcelona, Melbourne, and New Zealand’s South Island ([20:44 – 22:58]).
• She describes going on tours solo, making friends on the go, and encourages women to be cautious but adventurous.

8. Maintaining Friendships & Building Community

• The importance of not abandoning friendships for relationships; Sarah and Nicole both emphasize the role of chosen family and community, especially for single people ([53:08 – 54:23]).
• Advice for making friends: “Pickleball!” Sarah has recently gotten into the sport and finds it a great way to socialize ([54:23 – 56:35]).

9. Advice for the Single Life

• “Do not despair. Being single is great… Rescue yourself!” (Sarah, [49:40])
• Trust your gut in dating, if your gut is healthy; otherwise, bring in trusted friends for perspective ([49:58 – 51:13]).
• Importance of honest communication with friends about relationships—especially for men ([51:24]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being single:

“If you’re a homebody, especially, please, just get a couple cats, dogs, whatever. Get them in your house and just raise them. Save the animals.” (Sarah, [13:18])

• On not wanting kids:

“Why is this such a question for me? Am I maternal or something? I don’t think I give that vibe. I play a 10-year-old on TV.” (Sarah, [01:26], also echoed at [62:50] and [63:02])

• On worst dates:

“He interviewed me as if for a job. And it was boring, and it was rude, and I couldn’t believe that this was happening.” (Sarah, [36:41])

• On flirting & dating apps:

“I think the art form of flirting is gone.” (Nicole, [09:12])

• On dating advice:

“Being single is great. You have to accept it and enjoy it and not be waiting for someone to come rescue you. Rescue yourself.” (Sarah, [49:40])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Topic/Quote | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |-----------------------------------------------------|----------------------| | Sarah says “Nicole, I choose you!” as Ash | 05:10 | | Sarah on being single and fulfilled | 06:18–07:02 | | Dating app fatigue & boredom | 08:10–09:45 | | On fostering 100+ cats, meeting Pikachu | 13:10–14:00 | | Sarah’s worst date story | 35:32–39:24 | | The male loneliness epidemic and dating effort | 40:20 | | Red flags in dating: asking for #, love bombing etc.| 56:41–61:17 | | Sarah on Ash Ketchum’s influence | 20:06 | | Sarah’s solo travel stories/advice | 20:44–23:30 | | Advice for enjoying singlehood | 49:40–51:13 | | Maintaining friendships as an adult | 53:08–54:23 |

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Tone & Language

Nicole and Sarah’s banter is light, quick, and often self-deprecating, balancing honest frustrations with humor and warmth. Both use vivid anecdotes and playful roasting—of themselves, men, and the clumsy state of modern dating—to keep the mood lively and relatable.

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In Closing

Sarah plugs her upcoming projects (“Raccoon,” “Buy Nothing,” and “Jesus 2”), convention appearances, and her Instagram for updates ([64:19]). Nicole ends the episode with the regular question, "Would you date me?" to which Sarah responds:

“Yes. You’re so cute.” ([65:06])

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Summary prepared for listeners who want all of the wisdom, laughs, and wild dating stories without missing a beat.

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For Further Listening

• Follow Sarah on Instagram
• Watch “Jesus 2” on Animation Plus
• Look out for “Raccoon” and “Buy Nothing” in theaters next year

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Transcript

[A]

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.

[B]

This is a headgum podcast.

[A]

We talk a lot about messy dating stories on this show. But you know what's making dating even messier? Lawmakers across the country trying to strip away our access to sexual and reproductive health care. Planned Parenthood believes your body is your business and you deserve the freedom to make your own choices. Whether you need birth control, sti testing, gender affirming care, or an abortion, their health centers are there for you. But right now, politicians are actively attacking Planned Parenthood and trying to control our futures. Millions of people are at risk of losing essential care, especially those in black, Latino, rural and low income communities. Health care is a human right, which is why I'm so proud to support them. Here is a fun behind the scenes fact about the pod. I pay all my guests for coming on, but. But when they don't want to accept the money themselves, I ask where they'd like me to donate their fee instead. And Planned Parenthood is consistently the number one organization my guests choose to support. And together with people like you, me and the guests on this podcast, Planned Parenthood can fight every day to build the future we deserve. Supporters like you power this work. Donate to support Planned Parenthood now@planned parenthood.org

[B]

defend this was a guy who was like working in the, in the space and he comes up to my table where I'm like working, started asking me questions again of the dating variety. And when I said that I, I don't want kids, he was very upset as if it was his business. Why is this such a question for me? Am I maternal or something? I don't, I don't think I give that vibe.

[A]

Am I maternal or something? I'm not thinking I'd give that vibe. I'm just really funny.

[B]

I play a 10 year old on TV.

[A]

Such a little guy.

[B]

I'm just a little guy. I don't plan on having a child in my home.

[A]

Maybe because you play a little guy on television.

[B]

Yes, because I understand them.

[A]

Yeah, they're like, obviously you want kids, so you're, so you're a little guy. Can watch you be a little guy. No, no.

[B]

I have little guys who are watching me be little guy. And that's perfectly good. I'm very, very satisfied with that.

[A]

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why.

[B]

Ooh, baby.

[A]

Welcome to. I scared you. Sorry about it.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Welcome to Another episode of why Won't yout Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could on a table and tell me that it is thread.

[B]

What? I'm not here. I'm not.

[A]

You are here. The person who's not here has literally been the voice of our childhoods as the English voice actor for Ash Ketchumon Pokemon, which is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year. You can hear her starring on the new animated show Jesus 2, streaming right now on Animation Plus. And later this year, she's stepping into live action in the upcoming movie Raccoon. Raccoon, opposite Tim Heidecker. Heidecker. Heidecker. Tim Heidecker.

[B]

Heidecker.

[A]

Hi. Is it Heidecker?

[B]

It's Heidecker.

[A]

Okay, great. And buy nothing with J. Duplass. And I'm so excited. It's Sarah Nachocheni. Did I say it right? You did it.

[B]

Great. It's so good. We can go home.

[A]

Hijacker. Notocheny.

[B]

It was so hard.

[A]

It was very hard for me.

[B]

No more Tylers.

[A]

No.

[B]

No more.

[A]

No more.

[B]

No more Byers.

[A]

No. Two years ago.

[B]

Such a good name. Such a good name.

[A]

Really.

[B]

You're very lucky. Unforgettable.

[A]

When I was in high school, I wanted a stage name so bad. I believe the stage name I picked was Nicole Vincent.

[B]

Oh, I had a Vincent moment. That's weird. Really? Yes. Oh, Vincent's such a good name.

[A]

It's a great name.

[B]

Sarah Vincent.

[A]

Sarah Vincent is nice, but I like your last name. I think it's interesting.

[B]

It's interesting. If you like to, like, you know, say tough.

[A]

If you like to have a mouth full of a word. Yes.

[B]

Then it's fabulous.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

Beautiful.

[A]

We met in St. Louis. Yes, because you were doing a con with my. Our dear friend Harvey Guillen, One of the best, one of the brightest. And he introduced you. And I think I was like, oh, what. What was your part of the con? You were like, I voice Ash Ketchum. And I was like, well, I'd love to hear it. Please.

[B]

We have a video. Would you mind doing it for you? Yes. Nicole, I choose you. It was a better reaction when I

[A]

first did it, but Mars, you got a good reaction from. Mars is on the floor. It's because I knew it was coming and I loved it. Thank you. Is that a request you get often?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is it tiresome, Bothersome?

[B]

No, I love it. I love it.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

It's my joy. Can you imagine like being able to just like, say three words and suddenly someone's like, on the floor. Yes, you were. You were on the couch. You fell over.

[A]

I did fall over.

[B]

I was so excited.

[A]

I used to get, like, not annoyed, but people be like, nailed it. And I'd be like, I know, I know. But now I'm just like, yup, nailed it.

[B]

Nailed it.

[A]

You like it? I love it. It's nice that it brings happiness to people.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Can I ask, are you dating? Are you single? Do you not care to say?

[B]

I've never spoken about this before. You don't even know what I'm going to say. We never like pre. We never pred this.

[A]

No.

[B]

So I'm single.

[A]

Are you looking or.

[B]

Not really. No, no, not really. I try. Like, I'll go. My eyes are open.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

But they're not very hungry.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I'm like, you gotta be like, everything I'm looking for. Otherwise my life is pretty good without you.

[A]

Ugh. I mean, not bad.

[B]

I think. Fine.

[A]

I think that's nice. You have a nice fulfill life.

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

Your eyes are open, but they're. What is that song? Hungry Eyes. That's not you.

[B]

That's not my song. But yeah, I agree. No, not Hungry Eyes. Yeah, like, it's fine. It'd be great. I know, I know, I know. Like two happy couples.

[A]

I do think it's interesting because I feel like I spent a long time being like, I want it, I want it, I want it. And then I got to a point where I was like, actually, I think I'm fine. I have a nice life. I like my friends peaceful. If love comes, it comes. If it doesn't, I'll just keep having this really nice life.

[B]

Right? Yeah. There's this threat of someone walking in and messing it up. There's a threat of me just like, falling in love with somebody and it's like, oh, the best thing in the world. And then I realized, like, oh, that was just an addiction or something. It wasn't even real.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I have some friends who are in relationships where from the outside, I'm like, like, it doesn't seem like you're having a nice time. No, it seems like you were having a better time before you got into this. So maybe, maybe you get out of it. But you can't say that to people. You just gotta go, hey, if you're having fun, I'm having fun.

[B]

Good for you. Me too. Yeah. That's awesome. Hey, the stories are interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Are you on the apps at all, or are you.

[B]

I'm on the apps at all. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hinge Beasts, Raya Beasts. No, a lot of them are great. Just joking. I'm on there. It's so boring. It's very boring. The texting is boring. The, like, what am I going to get to know you over? I don't know you. You're a stranger, Sarah.

[A]

That's how I fell.

[B]

You're a stranger.

[A]

You're a stranger. I don't know you. Why would I continuously text you?

[B]

Yeah, let's hang out. How's your day? Yeah, how's your day? What are you talking. What day? You don't know me. I don't know you day. What day? You've never known me for a day. Yeah, you have no frame of reference for my day. Also, like, they ask me, like, how many autographs did you sign? And I'm just like, that's not a. That's not a question. What, is that going to lead to some, like, amazing conversation?

[A]

Imagine if it did, though. Imagine if you're like, 116 and they're like, that's my lucky number.

[B]

I feel maybe.

[A]

I can't believe it.

[B]

Maybe that's what they think is going to happen.

[A]

No, not at all. I think the art form of flirting is gone.

[B]

It's bad.

[A]

It's really hard. And then it's also super hard to flirt via a text message.

[B]

Oh, awful. If you. If I've never met you, I don't know what you sound like. I don't know what your vibe is, your energy, like, I don't know what you mean by that, what you just said. Ah, that seems aggressive.

[A]

And I.

[B]

And then I meet them and I'm like, oh, you're. Okay. Okay, I see what you meant. Okay, that's kind of cute, but you Googled me too much.

[A]

I gotta go. Yeah, I hate when. When I was on the apps, when people would go, so, what are you doing this weekend? And I'd be like, I don't know, Living my life. Why do you fucking care? Yeah, I know you're trying to, like, start a conversation, but I don't want to talk to you about how I'm gonna go to a flea market and hunt down the watchman.

[B]

Yeah. Like, why. Why discuss this before I meet you and why. I just don't get why. I don't get the point.

[A]

That's what. That's how I feel.

[B]

I told my agent this recently, and he's like, sarah, he's trying to get to know you, and I'm like, but he doesn't know. But I know. I sound crazy. He doesn't know me. You don't know me, so why are you trying to get to know me? It doesn't make any sense, but it does, if you know what I mean.

[A]

I absolutely know what you mean, because I very much. The nice man in my life. We did not really text in between dates.

[B]

Yeah. Good.

[A]

And I liked that.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

At first I was like, is he not interested? But then we would have a really nice time on these dates. And I'm like, oh, no. I think he's really trying to get to know Mimi. Yes. And not the way I text. And this, that, and the other.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then at one point, I was like, are you. Do you not like texting?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Is that something you don't like?

[B]

Fine.

[A]

And he's like, oh, I'm not good at it. I'm very good at, like, wow. Ha ha ha. That's crazy. And guess what? That's right.

[B]

Sounds great, actually.

[A]

That's right. That's what he does. And that's fine, because when I get home, I'll be like, oh, I can tell you about my day because we haven't been talking about it throughout the day via text.

[B]

Right. I hate when a conversation, like, fully happens via text, and I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no. What are we gonna talk about? Yeah, what are we gonna talk about?

[A]

What's left in this world?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't know either.

[B]

Makes me nervous. It'll be fine. Well, if it's the right person, you find someone. Yeah.

[A]

I was on Raya for a little bit. It took me a long time to get on it. I think I was waitlisted for two years, and then when I finally got on it, I was like, there's nothing in here. It's like when you wait online for a club, then when you get in, you're like, we were all waiting for this.

[B]

For this? Yeah.

[A]

This is garbage.

[B]

It's pretty bad.

[A]

I hate it. You have a cat named Pikachu?

[B]

I do have a cat named Pikachu. That's the love of my life. He's a good boy.

[A]

How'd you find Pikachu?

[B]

On the streets of New Jersey.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. He's gorgeous. I don't know what he was doing there. Yeah, he's a beautiful, beautiful man. He was rescued through a rescue, and I found him.

[A]

Oh, okay. So you got him through a rescue?

[B]

Yeah, through a rescue. I didn't find myself.

[A]

I really thought you found Because I have a friend who found cats on the street and was like, mine. And I'm always like, how. How do you capture a cat?

[B]

When my. When my. You can capture a cat with a. With a cage, with a trap. Oh, yeah. And then you, you know, fix them and prepare them for life in the home.

[A]

Teach them the things they need to know about sitting.

[B]

Yes. Lavish life. No, I. So in 2017, my. My cat that I'd had for my whole life passed away. My grandma passed away. Dark times. I fostered with my mom over a hundred cats and kittens that year.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And I know there are going to be people in the comments like, of course she's a cant lady. And you know what? Yes, I am. And I'm not ashamed of it.

[A]

Own it.

[B]

I love my boy. So after that, I fostered. It was beautiful. It was such a fun time. It was such a peaceful time. These kittens were so cute. They gave me so much love, and I gave them so much love back, and I adopted them out to people. It was so sweet.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

And then we found Pikachu. Yeah, we found Pikachu after that.

[A]

And do you have an animal rescue?

[B]

No. Voices for Fosters is an advocacy group. It was just telling people to foster, please foster. It's really. If you're a homebody, especially, please, just get a couple cats, dogs, whatever. Get them in your house and just raise them. Save the animals. Yeah. And then you get them adopted out. The rescue helps you. They pay for everything.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. They give you food, they give you litter. It's awesome. You're about to do it.

[A]

Here's the thing about fostering. I feel like if I got an animal and this animal was in my house, I would then go, I love you. You have to stay with me. And then I become the animal queen of my street.

[B]

No. So you just gotta be strong. You gotta stay strong. You say, goodbye, animal. You send them on their way. You can see who adopts. This is how I helped myself. I, like, sat at the shelter and watched them get adopted. And I saw the family that they would go to, and I was like, okay, this is fine. I'm happy with this. And there was one that I almost failed. There were a couple that I almost failed. Foster fail. It's called one.

[A]

A couple. Foster fail.

[B]

Yes. When you adopt the foster. There were a couple times, but I stayed strong and I got them adopted. And then I found my animal and I never fostered Pikachu. He was actually just.

[A]

You just went In. You were like, pikachu, I choose you, Pikachu.

[B]

I choose you. Yeah. He's my boy.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

My dog's name is Clyde, and he's so cute. Me and my roommate at the time, John, we had a dog named Charlie. Charlie chose him.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And Charlie was fine with me.

[B]

This is why you stay single. Animal loves you.

[A]

Well, the animal didn't love me, so I went out and found an animal to love me. And that's how I ended up with Clyde. And I lied. I told John. I said, we're fostering Clyde. And then after the dogs got along, and he was like, clyde is such a sweetheart. I was like, great. I adopted him. I paid the fee. He's not going back. He's staying with us.

[B]

He's our.

[A]

And we've been together ever since. And sometimes I broke up with somebody, and I remember looking at Clyde going, you're the only thing that matters. You are my only support. You're the only man who loves me. And the dog was like, I don't think so. All right, whatever.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love an animal.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

They love you no matter what. While Pikachu sometimes doesn't.

[A]

Well, cats are hard.

[B]

Cats are hard.

[A]

Yeah. Cats, you have to, like, really earn it, and, like, you have to, like, play the long game and, like, be chill. I had two cats living with me because I was dating somebody with cats, and he failed to tell me that you have to scoop their litter box every day.

[B]

What? What are you talking about?

[A]

He failed.

[B]

He failed to tell you.

[A]

He did not tell me.

[B]

I guess this isn't common sense. Okay. If he didn't grow up with cats,

[A]

I didn't grow up with cats.

[B]

Yeah, fine.

[A]

I didn't know.

[B]

Yes. Well, they poop. It smells.

[A]

It does.

[B]

Yes. But it was. What do you do with it?

[A]

It was a way.

[B]

It was away.

[A]

It was a way with a door that closed. In a bathroom with the door closed.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then they started peeing on the carpet.

[B]

Well, sure. You didn't clean their litter box?

[A]

Well, I didn't know you had to

[B]

clean the litter box.

[A]

And I was like, why are they peeing everywhere?

[B]

Because they don't like you.

[A]

They were like, this bitch doesn't clean up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I, like, googled it. I was like, why do cats pee everywhere? The carpet? And it was like, do they have a clean litter box? And I was like, I don't know. And then I went and looked, and I was like, it certainly isn't.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It Was that was my first foray into cats, and I think it scarred me a little bit.

[B]

Don't let it scar you. That's not what cats are. Listen, Pikachu loved me so much. In the very beginning, it was just me and him. And now I travel all the time and I'm gone. And when I come home, he's like, who are you? I don't know you. Someone else is taking care of me. So, yeah, that's the difficulty with Pikachu right now. It's okay, though. When I'm home for like, two weeks in a row, he's like, oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. This is the lady that I like. This is the lady I live with. Sarah, will you tell me, have you dated a lot in your life or no? No.

[B]

I've been through all of my 20s. I always had relationships. I think there was maybe a year where I was single then. And, yeah, I went on like a couple of dates and was like, strangers, stranger danger, weird. Why would I let you anywhere near me if I don't know who you are and there's no one to vouch for you? There's no, you know, I need a resume. I need. I need to know who you are.

[A]

I get that.

[B]

Yeah. I don't like. I don't like when someone doesn't have any social media. It is tough unless you're a very well known person and then I understand. But then you're a very well known person and you're very well known and we have friends, I'm sure in common and whatever I can verify.

[A]

So before I date, are you creeping on the Instagram, creeping on the Twitter, trying to find things.

[B]

So I actually have very strong opinions on this. Okay. I check with friends. If it's someone we know, I check with friends. That's the first thing I do. I'll creep a little bit, but not too much because I don't want to be on the date and already know too much about the person. Because that reads. That reads heavy. Like, when someone has Googled me, I know almost instantly, really. There's an energy to it. There's a vibe to it. There's a fan quality to it. There's a, like, oh, my God, I'm excited. I'm nervous because of, like, what I do, and I'm really uncomfortable with that. Don't Google me.

[A]

Don't Google.

[B]

Don't Google me. Like, you already. You know enough. Just have faith that I will tell you the things that you're curious about. And, like, don't be afraid to ask me things. That's another thing that's been happening is, like, I'm sure you get this question all the time, and they're like. They're just not themselves. They're not, like, their normal selves. They're, like, extra nervous.

[A]

Have you ever gone on a date with, like, a super fan?

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

Never? No, No, I couldn't. I don't think I could handle that.

[A]

So you've never picked anyone up at, like, a convention?

[B]

No. No, no, no, no.

[A]

You've never picked up anyone cosplaying Ash Ketchum?

[B]

No, no. But they're great to get along with in that setting. Yeah.

[A]

That was a very diplomatic answer, and I really liked it.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay, I have a question. In Pokemon, Ash constantly says goodbye to his Pokemon so they can grow. Fostering animals means constantly saying goodbye to these kittens that get adopted. Did playing Ash make it easier for you to handle the emotional toll of giving up your fosters?

[B]

I think so. I think Ash has inspired me to be a lot of the person that I am today, actually.

[A]

Wait. I really love that.

[B]

Yeah, he's very, very adventurous. He's always out. He's such a protagonist. He's like, a really classic protagonist. And for a very long time, I was kind of in my hole and in these relationships, and they were happy to be in my hole with me. And just, like, I didn't really access the outside world too much, especially in my 20s when you're supposed to be doing that. I didn't do any. I kept booking these protagonist roles and wondering, like, why I don't want to talk to anybody. I don't want to be around anybody. And then I realized, like, oh, wait. I'm actually very outgoing and adventurous, and I want to travel the world and have fun.

[A]

Where's your favorite place you've been?

[B]

Barcelona.

[A]

I do like Barcelona.

[B]

Barcelona. I love.

[A]

I was robbed there, though.

[B]

Oh. Oh, good lord. I hate that.

[A]

It's my fault.

[B]

I'm sorry. It's your fault? Yeah. Victim shame. Blame yourself.

[A]

No, that's my fault.

[B]

What'd you do?

[A]

I screamed, I have mucho de niro.

[B]

Oh, don't do that.

[A]

While my bag was, like, on the back of the chair hanging. And then someone was like, bet. Let's see.

[B]

Let's see.

[A]

And then somebody came with roses. And then there was, like, a gaggle of children.

[B]

No.

[A]

And then when I went to go pay, I was like, I have a purse. And my friend was like, what do you mean? I was like, I think that whole thing that just happened with the roses and the children. I think my purse is now gone. Was a robbery and they were like, oh, no. And then my passport was in the Airbnb, so my friend left me. Like, just like went to the atm, got some euros. The next day I bought a purse and.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And just kept living.

[B]

Okay. Ouch. Yeah, don't scream. I have mucho dinero.

[A]

Yeah, no, anywhere. Anywhere.

[B]

Anywhere. No, it doesn't matter where. Even if it's not a Spanish speaking

[A]

square with like a, like a couple different restaurants where like we were all outside. So it was like being in Times Square and being like, I have a lot some money,

[B]

don't do that.

[A]

But I loved it.

[B]

That's a beautiful city. And Melbourne, Melbourne, Australia, and the south island of New Zealand. I did the Trans Albine train by myself. I'm so happy. I was single and by myself and didn't bring a friend. I spent a month going from Australia, New Zealand. Australia, New Zealand. It was four cons in a row. The best time. Did it completely by myself. You know, there were other actors there, so we like team up a little bit, but for the most part it was just like me and like little small van tours and the most beautiful and peaceful and exciting. I cried on the train. I adopted a little stuffed animal. His name is Quokka. He was a wombat. And I thought that wombat and quokka were the same thing. They're not. And the Australians looked at me like,

[A]

I was like, you have to learn and sometimes you have to say things out loud for people to go, no, girl, no.

[B]

Yeah, I stand by my quokka.

[A]

What is your advice for traveling alone? Because I feel like some people would love to travel, but they're like, I just don't have a person in my life right now that like, I would feel comfortable traveling with.

[B]

Do not wait, don't wait ever, ever. The only thing that's, you know, I'm a slight woman and I don't lift heavy. So I would not, I would not go on like some massive hike by myself where I might encounter bears or men.

[A]

The two of the scariest things, men and bears.

[B]

Yeah. I wouldn't be alone and those kind. Don't be stupid, you know, don't do things that you can't get yourself out of. The van tours were fantastic. I generally stuck to, like, we would do little hikes with the van tours and I like, you know, I didn't bother anybody.

[A]

What is my van tour?

[B]

Like a 12 passenger van. Like, you can go on like tripadvisor. And find these tours.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[B]

And they take you to all the fun spots. And, yeah, you're like. You're on their schedule. But I also don't drive a car, so it's kind of the best I could do.

[A]

You don't drive?

[B]

That's limiting.

[A]

In la. You don't drive?

[B]

Yes. Yes, ma'. Am.

[A]

May I ask why?

[B]

Because I learned in New York, like, eight years ago, and I haven't driven since the test because I didn't own a car. I live in Manhattan, and there was nowhere to go. You have this train. You have trains. We ride trains. So I moved here.

[A]

We ride trains.

[B]

You see, like, normal people. And then I moved here, and it's like Grand Theft Auto. I'm not gonna learn how to drive in a level 10 place. You can't do that.

[A]

I understand that. Driving here is insane scary. I was driving. Maybe I told the story. I don't remember. But I was driving, and I was turning on a road that has three lanes. Sometimes that third lane is parking. Okay. But there was no parking, so I pulled out. And then this man pulled up next to me and was screaming at me. And I was like, in no way did I impede you moving forward. I am not in your way. And then we arrived at the light together, and then he was still screaming at me and pointing at me.

[B]

Cool, man.

[A]

So I just, like, waved at him and was like, I'm pretty. And then that made him angrier.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

And then at the next light, we arrived together, and then he's, like, still screaming at me. And then I was like, like, just being cute. And then he started laughing. And then he went, oh. And I was like, wait. I was like, are you gonna kill me?

[B]

What's next, buddy? That's terrifying.

[A]

And then he had to make a left, and I went straight. And then I've thought about it almost every day since it happened.

[B]

Is this your special man?

[A]

This is the lovely man in my life.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

He finally caught up to me and said, I'm gonna kill you if you don't date me. And I said, and now we're really happy.

[B]

That's really sweet. Maybe that'll happen for me real quick.

[A]

We gotta take a break. Look, when I do this show, I am painted for the video podcast. I am contoured to the heavens, and I love how I look, but my actual everyday life, I don't have time to do all those steps. And I don't want to feel heavy or caked on just to run errands. Or grab a nice coffee. That's why I love Jones Road Beauty. Their miracle bomb is the ultimate multitasker. For a simple, quick makeup routine, I just use my little fingies. I can swipe it on as blush, bronzer or lip tint for an easy glow in under a minute. And for the days I want a little more coverage, I can use their brand new foundation stick. It gives you real buildable coverage while feeling completely weightless. It never looks cakey and it's packed with nourishing skin care ingredients and comes in 30 shades for a perfectly natural finish. Check out Jones Road Beauty for Modern Day Makeup that's that's clean, strategic and multifunctional for effortless routines. For a limited time, my listeners are getting a free gift on their first purchase when they use Code Date Me at checkout. Just head to Jonesroadbeauty.com and use code Date Me at checkout after you purchase the last where you heard about them. Please support my show and tell them I sent you Scam Alert There are fake accounts popping up everywhere pretending to be my podcast sliding into your DMs asking for money. Let me be clear. I will never DM you asking for money. Scammers are getting so sneaky, which means you need a payment platform that actively watches your back. That's why Cash App is so great. Your security deserves to be a priority, and Cash App treats it that way. With Security Lock, Cash App requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. It's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard, even if your phone is lost or stolen. Plus, if you're about to send money to somebody new and Cash App notices something looks a little bit off or you might be falling for a scam, it will send you a warning before the money is sent to confirm that everything looks right. Turn on security, lock in your Cash App settings today and pay attention to scam warnings to keep your money safe. Learn more at Cash App Security For a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use code Secure10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days.

[B]

Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's Bank Partners Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. Brand Visit Cash App Legal Podcast for full disclosures.

[A]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Let me tell you, life is a lot between being in a relationship Hosting my podcast, keeping my crops alive. I'm a farmer and managing my life. My brain gets noisy sometimes. I'm just laying awake at night, overwhelmed by everything I have to do. And listen, I love the nice man in my life, but I don't want to just unload all my late night stresses onto him. Nobody has all the answers alone. And therapy is such a great place to get support so you don't have to figure it out all by yourself. BetterHelp has therapists who are fully licensed in the U.S. they do the initial matching work for you with a short questionnaire to identify your needs. And if you're not happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time, which is super important because you have to try out somebody to know if they're good for you. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up to get 10% [e-mail] date me. That's better. H E L P. So your cat, Pikachu.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You said. You've said before. My goodness, not today.

[B]

Who did this research? Go ahead.

[A]

Lindsay and Mars.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That you use a voice inspired by Pikachu when you talk to Pikachu. Can we hear what that sounds?

[B]

You want me to talk to you like you're my cat?

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Is that what you want? Okay.

[A]

Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I want.

[B]

Okay. I just go like. That's not an impression of Pikachu. That is how I talk to my cat.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay, here's something fun.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

At the age of 12.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

You won a bronze medal.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

In rhythmic gymnastics.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

At the Junior Olympics. Yes. How did you get into rhythmic gymnastics?

[B]

I had no choice. Oh, yes. I'm Russian. We all did it. We either did that or ballet or piano. I did all three.

[A]

Do you still play piano?

[B]

Yeah, but badly. Like, I can play the same thing I played, like, my whole life. Yeah, but that's pretty much it. It's nice to just, like, see a

[A]

piano and be like, I can play a song. Don't worry about me.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[A]

I can only play the beginning of my heart Will Go On.

[B]

That's special. At least it's something people can sing.

[A]

No chords?

[B]

No. Okay.

[A]

Just dee dee, dee, dee dee. Your face. Oh, my God.

[B]

The judgment. Judgment. No.

[A]

Wow. I felt that. Hi. So rhythmic gymnastics. You can dance with a ball.

[B]

You can dance with a ball. Yeah.

[A]

Or there's a ribbon or clubs or

[B]

rope, which was My. Which was my best thing. That's what I went. A bronze medal in. Or hoop or just floor. No. No apparatus at all, really.

[A]

Interest. And then. Are they all. I don't know anything about rhythmic gymnastics.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

Are they all competing together or is it segmented? Like the balls dance together, the ribbons dance together.

[B]

So there's individual and then there are groups. And they. It will be all. Everyone has a ball. Everyone has their own ball, everyone has their own ribbon, et cetera. Yeah, yeah. It's an Olympic sport. Actually, I was just quoted in the Times of London because of how difficult it was to. Tickets or not get tickets. I still don't have tickets to my favorite sport, rhythmic gymnastics.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Tickets to the Olympics.

[B]

To the Olympics. 28, Louisiana. Yeah.

[A]

How does one get tickets to the Olympics?

[B]

You don't even know.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

How did word not get to. Are you not that interested?

[A]

So I was kind of interested and then I was like, well, it's in 2028, correct?

[B]

Yeah, you gotta start now.

[A]

And it's 2026.

[B]

It's going.

[A]

I just don't see myself planning for something two years in the future.

[B]

You can sell them.

[A]

Oh, how much are tickets to the Olympics?

[B]

Like $5 million.

[A]

It can't be that much.

[B]

Okay, fine. $5,000 for the opening ceremony. I'm not joking.

[A]

5,000 duelers.

[B]

Thousand duelers.

[A]

Do we even know who's performing at the opening ceremony? No.

[B]

It better be Lady Gaga.

[A]

I hope it's Lady. Did you see her?

[B]

I did not see her. Where is she? Here.

[A]

She was here.

[B]

Is it. Go ahead and go.

[A]

She was at Headgum. What? No, she. She did a concert at Sofi Stadium.

[B]

Ah, yes, I've heard of it.

[A]

And. Or arena. Wait, it wasn't Sofi. It was the Kia Forum.

[B]

They renamed.

[A]

I don't know. They're like, right next door to each other, which is crazy.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

But the Mayhem before, did you see it?

[B]

No, Sarah, I know, it was lovely. Yeah, I saw Elton John recently. That was fun.

[A]

He still performs.

[B]

No, it was recently. Like two years ago.

[A]

Oh, I mean, two years ago. That's kind of wild. I don't think he still performed.

[B]

He said it was his farewell tour. Oh, he said, probably.

[A]

Like Cher. Cher's keep saying farewell.

[B]

Yeah, she also. Oh, wait, does she have a man now?

[A]

Cher is dating, I believe, a backup dancer.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

Who is maybe 30 years younger than her.

[B]

Fantastic.

[A]

Do you mind looking that up? Mars?

[B]

Yeah, you're right. He's 39 years old and she's 79. Awesome.

[A]

Get that, boy toy.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

Who's ELTON JOHN Dating?

[B]

40 year age gap. Wow. It's 40 year. That's tough. That's a lot.

[A]

40 year age gap, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What do you think their conversations are like?

[B]

I have no idea. Yeah.

[A]

Would you ever date?

[B]

No, I couldn't. I couldn't. When I was very young, I dated older and that was a mistake. No. Now I'm interested in a very, very much like, around my. Who, like, grew up with my music, grew up with my shows. Like, we have everything in common. That's what I'm looking for. Gluck.

[A]

Good luck. I mean, that's how I feel.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Me and the nice man, we have a four year gap.

[B]

It's perfect.

[A]

And that's fine.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

But I can't imagine talking to someone who's like 40 years younger than me.

[B]

I know, that's wild.

[A]

What do you truly.

[B]

Different folks, different strokes. God bless. Enjoy.

[A]

But you know what?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you're someone like Cher in a relationship with someone who's 40 years younger than you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You perform and then you vacation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, that's what you talk about. Like, you don't have to have anything in common.

[B]

I don't know. What do you talk about on the vacation?

[A]

The maggots were really good. Did you like the mangoes?

[B]

Yes. And then you wince of boredom.

[A]

Been there. Been there? Yeah. Have you?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I've been. I'm fun. I'm fun, but I don't know. People are nervous. I don't know, man.

[A]

Tell me, what's one of the worst dates that you've been on that you wish to talk about?

[B]

Oh, sure. I can tell you. Okay. So the worst date. I'll give you the worst date. Oh, Jesus. I couldn't believe it was happening. As it was happening. This is unbelievable. He invited me to a sporting club. I don't want to get too specific. I don't want to out this person. He's a man of means. I met him on the apps. He invited me to come to his sporting club. And I come to the Sporting club. It's very lovely. It's in the mountains. Very nice. Good job. And he waves me over to come sit at some tables that are like on a ledge. They're not in the. There is a restaurant, but that restaurant is currently closed.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And he says, you know, I think they serve coffee, but I'm not sure. But, you know, the coffee's just not very good. And I'm like, well, I was so glad I came all the way out here.

[A]

Truly.

[B]

That's so nice. Thank you. Let's find out. Cause I'm just, like, trying to collect myself after a comment like, hey, I brought you to a place that sucks.

[A]

Yeah, that's wild. Cool.

[B]

And I can't play the sporting event because I'm in a date outfit. I can't do anything here. There's literally no reason for me to be here. We could have gone to a bar. This is a lunch hour. There's no food. The coffee indeed does suck. And the conversation was literally him just interviewing me as if for a job. And it was boring, and it was rude, and I couldn't believe that this was happening. And then I bid him farewell. Thank you so much. Goodbye. Oh, he doesn't know this. If he ever listens to this, it'd be really funny. I don't drive, right. And this is kind of a far. A far place. My mom was available to take me here, so my mom drove me to the date. I said, never again after this. She drove me to the date, and she said, I'm gonna wait for you. I'm like, why can't you go, you know, go somewhere? Go enjoy something, somewhere. She's not having it. She's like, I'm gonna call my friend. I'm like, okay, call your friend. She's in the car in the parking lot, and he escorts me out of the sporting place. And I see her. I see her right there. But I can't go to her car and be like, okay, he's gonna walk me.

[A]

My mom came to get me.

[B]

Oh, there she is, literally right now. I'm not even kidding. That's literally her. What's happening?

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

Okay, anyway, what does she do if she comes in here? I swear to God, I hope she does. She won't. She knows was better.

[A]

I. This is wild. It is.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Like, the Batman signal happened. She heard the name mom, and she's like, I'm needed.

[B]

Are you talking about me? That's not what she sounds like. So I. I start ordering an Uber on my phone, and he's like, I'll wait with you. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no necessario. Please, please go. Go back and play your game. Have fun.

[A]

Hi, Mom.

[B]

And she. He's like, what are you about to do? Are you about to, like, go sneak back inside the club? And I'm like, no, just. I'm good, man. I got this. The Uber is coming. It's gonna take 20 minutes. Just go.

[A]

I don't want.

[B]

I don't want to make chit chat.

[A]

I don't want to make small talk. Please just leave me alone. Leave me be.

[B]

And he finally left. And I deep, deep sigh of relief. And I go to my mom and I'm like, you're never waiting for me when I'm on a date again. But thank you also for, for, for driving me. Thank you for loving me, being the best mom.

[A]

But also, you cannot do that again.

[B]

Again.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, God, I hope he hears this. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that was a bad date, dude. Sorry. Really not fun for me. And no. No reason for me to go all the way out there. There was not even a cup of coffee that I could drink. And you interviewed me the entire time.

[A]

The worst is when you agree to go a couple miles further than you've ever wanted to drive for, like, say, a friendship, to meet a stranger. And you're like, so I spent the time I drove all the way here, got a ride here, got ready. Got ready, put on a nice outfit, looked in the mirror several times, sent outfits to friends to be like, oh, okay, I'm not doing. I'm doing above and beyond.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, I'll send an outfit to a friend to be like, is this so cute? And then you get there and you're like, nothing was worth it for this.

[B]

This was so bad up the game. And this is happening with men who are like, you know, have some status and all of that. This is. Yeah, but it's also happening with the men who don't have that as well. I'm telling you, it's across the board. You gotta. Across the board, there's a problem.

[A]

These men, they're bad.

[B]

They're bad.

[A]

And there's a bad news. There's a male epidemic of loneliness. And I'm like, yeah, just be more interesting. Be more interesting. Be cooler.

[B]

Yeah, show up for us. Show up for us. We show up for you. Like, I don't know any woman I know who's dating is like getting dressed and, you know, looking beautiful.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Making the effort. And we're making effort.

[A]

A friend of a friend who said that they stopped dating because they were on a date with a woman and the bill came out to $400. And they like looked up and they're like, I don't even like this person. And I was like, but there was two. Two of you made those choices.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It wasn't just the other person ordering the most expensive thing. And if they were, you were well within your means to go. Hey, let's split this.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You going all out? We gonna split it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't, I think there's like, like, I don't know, ways to just behave better also. I just, I don't think I realized what incel meant. I knew what it was, but I didn't know it stood for.

[B]

Ah, Involuntary celibate.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, but I'm like, why, why do you think it's involuntary? Go find yourself a freak.

[B]

Yeah, we, we've never had communities like this before. Like when we were, when we were young, when we were children, we didn't even have Facebook. We didn't find anything. If it wasn't the chess club at school, you were single forever.

[A]

Forever and ever.

[B]

Yeah. If you were a bit nerdy or something.

[A]

No one to find my rook.

[B]

There was not even an anime club in my school. Now it's like the biggest club at that school.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. And guess who's dating in there? All of them.

[A]

All of them.

[B]

I don't actually know about that, but I'm sure it's true. You know, you find people with like minded interests and behaviors and you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's someone out there for everyone.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

There's someone for everyone. And I see this like manosphere stuff going on and that's really, that really. That really bothers me a lot. And I mean, shocker, as a woman, it bothers me, but I think there's just these young men who feel hopeless and have been told that they're not enough, but they're not. They're. They're. You're fine. Like, just find your people. Yes. It is harder for some. Yeah, it is. I get that. Yeah. What you see in the movies and TV is like, is a certain type.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And.

[A]

But it's also.

[B]

Maybe you're not that type, but that's fiction. Yeah. And you know, I'd like, I'd love to see more, you know, weirdos represented.

[A]

I think. So I'd like. I've been just watching a ton of movies from the 90s.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's just a lot of entertainment that I missed out on because really my adhd, I hyper fixate so I can just watch the same movie over and over. Like my Cousin Vinny I've seen a million times. Probably no less than like a thousand times. Like I.

[B]

She's supposed to come through 10 after 4. Every time there's a train in a hotel room, I have to say it out loud to myself. Even if no one's with me, it's funny.

[A]

One of my favorite lines is, you are.

[B]

You are, you are, you are.

[A]

It's so funny.

[B]

So funny.

[A]

And I do think I picked a part of my personality from that movie. I love that Marisa Tomei knew about cars.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I. One of my special. I love cars. I love them so much. Making models, that's my bread and butter. 90s to 2000s. It's a little harder now.

[B]

Models?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like car models.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I like knowing that a Geo Tracker is the same as a Chevy Tracker.

[B]

Is this hard.

[A]

That's the same thing as a Suzuki Sidekick. And that the Samurai is the earlier edition of that car. And I know I've talked about it on this podcast, but one of my favorite moments as of recent is my friend was talking about how her brother got an older car that he's restoring.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And she said that it's such a rare car that other people. There's like three other people who have that car where he lives and he has to, like, talk to them because, like, like, they want to talk about their car.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

And I was like, well, what kind of car is it? What kind of two door? What kind of. And she was like, it's a two door suv. And I was like, a Dodge Raider. It's a Dodge Raider or it's a Mitsubishi Pagero. And she was like, it's an American car. I was like, it's a Dodge Raider. Please ask. And then she asked and he was like, yes. And I was like, I knew it.

[B]

That's so cool. I love that I miss stuff like that. I don't have anything like that right now.

[A]

No?

[B]

No. I'm just, like, so busy.

[A]

But that's nice to be busy. Yeah.

[B]

But what happens? Like, what? Yeah. So, like, what happens when I have one of these, like, deep div. I just can't get out of it and I have to learn everything about it and I just can't. I can't devote another year of my life to a special interest fair.

[A]

I get that. But I just learned that the Geo Tracker, slash Chevy Tracker, slash Suzuki Sidekick also has a Pontiac counterpart.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

But I can't remember. I think it's not a Sunfire. It's something fire. I don't know. But it was only sold in Canada. And I was like, whoa, that's crazy.

[B]

That's pretty cool. This is really cute. Just so you know.

[A]

Like, thank you.

[B]

It's really attractive when someone just, like, knows a lot about cars, especially.

[A]

I just like when people are excited about something?

[B]

Yes, Anything. Any.

[A]

Well, truly anything.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So, yeah, I knew someone who was really obsessed with. With the makes and models of cameras, but. But not a good photographer.

[A]

Oh, yes. See that.

[B]

See, that's bad.

[A]

That's really funny.

[B]

So he's like, look.

[A]

And I'm like, oh, really?

[B]

An upskirt shot in a building. Good job. Groundbreaking.

[A]

I famously cannot take a good picture.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

My nail is always in the frame.

[B]

Yeah, that's a lot.

[A]

I went on a safari in South Africa, and there was a bunch of elephants crossing the path.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

And one little baby elephant just stood there, and then, like, sat down, and I was like, oh, my God, that's a great picture. And I took a bunch of pictures, and when I reviewed them later, all of them were blurry. The elephant wasn't moving.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I wasn't moving? Nobody was moving. But the pictures, all of them were blurry.

[B]

What type of camera did you use?

[A]

My phone.

[B]

Okay, it.

[A]

It. It's me. It's a. It's a user error.

[B]

That's wild. I'm so sorry.

[A]

Hey, Sarah. Thank you. Recently, I took a little getaway to Joshua Tree with two of my besties and Clyde. And let me tell you. Oh, what a treat it was. What a dream it was. Now, we love a hotel for traveling, but for a trip like this with friends, hotels just don't give us the space we need. I love my friends, but a bathroom for one is not great when three women are trying to do our skincare routine all at the same time. Okay, so we decided to book a stay on Airbnb, and it just makes it for a way better trip. You could find the coolest, most unique spots to stay in. We found a home on Airbnb that had an actual vintage Airstream in the backyard just for lounging, plus this gorgeous outdoor soaking tub. I was looking online, and you can literally find houses shaped like UFOs or ones with giant telescopes in the living room for stargazing. We had so much fun cooking a big group dinner together. Then we lounged around laughing until, like, 2:00am which you literally cannot do when you're all split up into separate hotel rooms. Next time you're planning a getaway with your friends, do yourself a favor and book a stay on Airbnb. Getting dressed used to take me forever because I could never find the perfect balance between an outfit that looked really cute and was actually comfortable. I love fabrics that feel expensive but actually let me breathe. Quince fixed all of that for me because all the clothes they make are flattering but feel luxurious. Quince makes it incredibly easy to refresh your everyday wardrobe for spring with pieces that that feel as good as they look. They use all these amazing premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton and ultra soft denim. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops started just $30. They are so breathable, effortless and easy to wear on repeat. The best part is everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you're paying for quality and craftsmanship and not brand markup up. I bought the nice man in my life. These really cute short sleeve button downs with like a little polo collar. It's olive green. The other one is this creamy color and he looks so sophisticated and handsome. Refresh your every day with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com date me for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com date me for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com date me. Here's a question. Do you have advice for single people? Yeah.

[B]

First of all, do not despair. Being single is great. You have to accept it and enjoy it and live your life and not be waiting for someone to come rescue you. Rescue yourself. Was that mean?

[A]

No.

[B]

I feel like I said it with an attitude.

[A]

Sometimes you, you gotta get a little sassy to get your point across.

[B]

Trust your gut if your gut is healthy. If not, then trust your advisors as long as they have healthy guts too.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

I have trouble trusting my gut because my gut is quite tainted.

[A]

And why do you think your gut's tainted?

[B]

Because I've had some negative experiences and I don't want to paint everyone with a broad brush and be like, well, all people are like this or whatever. Right. So it's hard to forgive the misdeeds of the previous person. It's hard to like look at. It's like you'll see what you think are red flags and maybe they're not. You have to trust your gut if your gut is healthy.

[A]

Yes. I think that's really interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I. When I was dating and when I first started dating the nice man in my life, I realized I was bringing in a lot of like bad shit from other things and like, like bringing in, what's it? Baggage. Bringing my baggage.

[B]

Yeah. It's not fair.

[A]

Yes. It wasn't fair because it was like, oh, he's a different person. Just because I'm reminded of something doesn't mean that it's gonna end up the way that it was. I really like that. Trust your gut. If your gut is healthy.

[B]

Yeah. Get healthy first. Or if you, like, can't get healthy, talk to your friends. Talk to all your friends about it.

[A]

I agree. Talk to humans.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. This is especially right for men. Like, men don't talk to their friends about relationships.

[A]

They really don't.

[B]

It's shocking.

[A]

Wild.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, it's private. I'm like, no, it's not. No, it's not. You're gonna introduce me to those friends at some point. And, like, yeah. There's part of me that's like, don't tell them, like, our, you know, private things. But, like, yeah, discuss. Discuss things that are things that, like,

[A]

they matter but aren't personal. And it's like, use discernment.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Talk to your girlfriends.

[A]

Yes. Just talk to people.

[B]

Talk to people. Honest people you trust. Yeah.

[A]

I think that's good advice for everybody in every facet of life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know if I've talked about this, but I was at a bar, okay. And the. The server was. I don't know how we started talking about her car, but she was like, somebody stole. Did I talk about this?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She was like, somebody stole the airbags out of my car. And when someone does that, the car is considered total because it's no longer safe for the road. And she was like, it was a Toyota 4Runner, but my payout from the insurance was a lot of money. And I was like, yes, because the Toyota, Toyota's, Hondas, they all have high resale value.

[B]

She knows.

[A]

So that's why you got such a good payout. And she's like, and I'm thinking about getting a Rivian. And I was like, I don't know. Rivians are good. They're good cars, but they haven't been around long enough to know what the actual reliability is. And she was like, oh, my God. ChatGPT said the same thing to me about both things. And I was like, but if you just talked to a human being, like, I'm sure eight other human beings could have said the same thing. I just. I don't know. I think we're relying too much on technology and not enough on people and community and friendship.

[B]

Big time. Big time. I don't get it. I'm a very. I'm a hyper social person. I. All my friends, like, Are. They're super important to me. I can't imagine, like, not not having my friends, and especially, like, I'm not having kids. I'm single. Like, my friendships are everything.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Yeah. And they always have been.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I was in relationships, I can't imagine entering a relationship and being like, okay, goodbye, everybody. Like, why?

[A]

I'll never understand people who do that, who are just like, oh, yeah, I can't. I'm with my boyfriend. Or, I can't.

[B]

Can I come over? Like, what. What are you guys doing? Yeah, what are you doing?

[A]

Let me watch a movie with you. Please? Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. That's strange to me. I don't get that.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

And then when people are like, so I host a podcast with my best friends this year, and people will write in, and they're like, I don't know how to, like, make friends. And I'm like, but, like, why don't you have friends? Not that I'm judging people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Because it's like, maybe you moved. I don't know, Total instances. But I feel like I've gathered friends. I have so many friends from all the different things I've done. I have friends from school when I was in New York. I have friends from Jersey when I was in high school. I have friends from improv. I have friends from, like, a job that I did two days on that I still, you know, keep in touch with, But I'm like, gather people. It's reach out to people.

[B]

Yeah. Keep in touch. Like, keep in touch and find, like, hobbies you do with people. Find things you want to do with them. I recently got into pickleball.

[A]

Oh. It's the fastest growing sport in America.

[B]

It sure is. And it's the fastest growing sport in me. And we're having a great time. It is so much fun. It's so lightweight. It's so, like, low impact. I'm not sweating. I still look cute at the end of it.

[A]

Okay, perfect. I've never played pickleball.

[B]

Come.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You'll love.

[A]

Scares me.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I don't know. Because it's tennis adjacent.

[B]

Yeah. But it's really not.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

That thing weighs two. Two feathers. Oh, it's the weight of two feathers.

[A]

Oh, yeah. My dad also played tennis.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

There's a weight.

[B]

Yeah. It's weird. He had two look down on you.

[A]

Two little black girls.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he really was like, I'm gonna have me a Venus and Serena. And I said, think again, my dude.

[B]

I don't think so. Okay.

[A]

And I had to go to tennis camp every summer.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then I. A tennis camp would just hit the balls over the fence sense. So then I'd be like, oh, I gotta go get that ball.

[B]

Oh, no ball. Sorry, you can't play.

[A]

And then the scoring of. It doesn't make no sense.

[B]

That's really funny. The scoring is complex.

[A]

It does.

[B]

But I let other people deal with it.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

No, they hate that. They hate that. They want you to. When you're serving, you're the one telling us what the score is. So I'm like, okay, so you gotta keep this stuff in your head. Yeah. It's not. It's just as mindless.

[A]

Is it the same scoring as tennis?

[B]

I don't know. I don't play tennis. What do I know? I play pickleball.

[A]

Does pickleball have this silly woman scoring as tennis?

[B]

I don't think so. I don't know. Why would I know about tennis?

[A]

But what's the scoring in pickleball?

[B]

It's different, probably. I don't know, there's. You move around. It's a four person game, really, Ideally.

[A]

Oh, it is, yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's ideally a four person thing from what I know. I just got into it. I don't. I don't know anything. I don't know nothing. I don't speak English. It's not my thing.

[A]

I can't hear anything.

[B]

I don't speak. Yeah, it's a four person. We started just, you know, to volleying and then I got in with. It's a very social thing if you want to make friends. It's a great way to make friends, you know, and you kind of meet people and.

[A]

Okay, you're out. You're in the sun. It's a lovely time.

[B]

Yeah, it's nice.

[A]

Can I ask, what is a red flag for you in dating and. Or friendships?

[B]

Hang on a moment. I took notes on this one.

[A]

Ooh, wait, what's in. Let's just read your notes.

[B]

We could just read my notes. Yeah. Here, check this out. All right, here we go.

[A]

Check this out. Here we go. Also, this is a good color. Is it a gel on your nails?

[B]

This is a gel on my nails.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

Thank you. It's not the healthiest thing to do to your fingers.

[A]

I have acrylics.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Definitely not the healthiest thing.

[B]

No, we're really just playing with fire here.

[A]

Killing my nails.

[B]

Okay. Okay. This is a weird one. I wrote down some weird ones.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Asking for my number before meeting me. Like On Hinge or Raya or whatever, asking for my number before meeting me. I don't know why, but it really. It's such an invasive move.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And so I don't need it. You don't need it? You have a way to contact me. Why do you need a secondary. You also have my Instagram in. In most cases. Like, why do you need. Why do you need that? I don't know you. And one guy I remember was like, he fought me on it. He's like, what, are you married or something? Are you hiding this? And I'm like, you can reach me two other ways on my phone. Why do you need my number? Yeah, I don't get it.

[A]

That's a little while to get defensive about it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Give it to me. It's like, well, now I actually don't want to.

[B]

And this guy, he. Oh, no, that wasn't an app person. That was like an Instagram person. And we had like, I guess some mutuals or whatever, but it was just like, why do you not.

[A]

Yeah, why do you need this?

[B]

Why do you need this? I don't know. I personally just don't like it.

[A]

Fair.

[B]

I like it. I just personally don't like it. This is awful. A guy who asks questions. Anybody who asks questions. I don't know why I'm so man centered right now. And interrupts the answer within five to 10 seconds. I'm not kidding. No, I wasn't droning on. I start answering the question and he's like, cool, cool, cool. Ask me a question, like, about the business. Like, oh, how did. So how did you, like, ask me? Like, how did you get the job?

[A]

How did you get the job as Ash Ketchum?

[B]

So I, you know, I started acting and then I got the audition.

[A]

You know, that's the thing that I've done. I've done acting a little bit, and

[B]

that was the timing, I swear to God. And it was every time. It was every time, the entire conversation. At some point, my jaw was on the floor. I'm like, no, why don't you just answer? You good. You. You know, you know what it is? It's like, okay, cool, cool, cool. And then. And then this thing. And I'm like, okay, cool, cool, cool. Can I answer you?

[A]

Can I answer it?

[B]

I don't care to answer it. This isn't. This isn't good for me. I don't. I gotta go, actually, anyway, that. Don't do that. Listen, listen. When people talk to you. Doesn't matter gender. Gender doesn't Matter. Love bombing. Oh, you're so amazing. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.

[A]

I fall for love bombing because I think I should be loved and treated just so well. Just. Yeah, just give me treats all the time.

[B]

Treats, sure. Once you know me, if you're doing it prematurely. My eyes are rolling in the back of my head. They're not coming back. Oh, the over Googling thing. Yeah, that's tough. Oh, bragging about other women he's been with. That's happened. Women. No red flags ever.

[A]

That's very funny. Men, full of red flags, full of women. They're just delicate little angels.

[B]

There's just a thing about, like, proving. Proving worth. I think that needs to just everybody calm down.

[A]

I don't know if I've ever been out with somebody who bragged about other women they've been with.

[B]

I don't think it ever got to the point of a date. I think it was an attempt to get a date. Negging.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

This is a story I wanted to tell.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, boy. Two. Two guys. It's always guys. Two guys. One. I was sitting in a lobby and I was with a bunch of actor friends. It was during a convention. And he, like, sidles up. He takes, like, a cushion. That's not. Not a seating thing. It's like as if he took that acrylic table and sat. Sat next to me on it.

[A]

And I'm like, oh, hi.

[B]

Way too close to me, and starts, like, asking me a bunch of date questions. Do I want kids? Where do I want to live? Where do I see myself in five years? The whole thing. And I'm like, answer, answer, answer. Sure, sure, sure. And every answer is like, that's stupid. That's dumb. Why would you do. Why would you do that? There's no nature in New York. What are you talking about? And I'm like, like, I. At some point, I was like, what are you doing? What is this? What are you doing right now?

[A]

And what do you say?

[B]

He's like, what do you mean? And I'm like, are. Are we having a conversation or you just. It just seems like you're combating everything I'm saying. And he's like, no, I'm not like, gotta go. Gotta go. That's crazy. Oh, my God. I don't believe you. I don't believe you're a real person. Are you okay?

[A]

That is wild. Wild to be like. It seems like you're being really combative against everything I'm saying. For them to go, no, I'M not. And it's like, like, sir, did you not hear your rebuttal?

[B]

You just did it again. And then another one came up to the table. This was a guy who was like working in the space. And he comes up to my table where I'm like, working. And it was a quiet moment and he started asking me questions again of the dating variety. And when I said that I don't want kids, he was very upset by this, as if it was his business. And he was like, well, why not? It's the greatest joy. And I'm like, I agree, it's an immense joy and I have wonderful children in my life, but I also have like a really full life that I intend to continue having. And that's, you know, I don't need to get fully into my reasoning. I shouldn't have to. But he was very insistent that women, that all women have kids and they're fine, it's fine. I'm like, it's one of the most dangerous things. It's the most dangerous thing you can elect to do to your body as a woman. And he's like, but everybody does it. It's totally fine. It's not dangerous. And I'm like, okay, doctor, you want to have this conversation, my friend? Like, should I tell you about all the women who had really bad pregnancies and are now, like, not doing well because of them? Should we talk about that? No, I'd not be gone.

[A]

It's also wild that these men, upon a first interaction, are asking you if you want children.

[B]

Why is this such a question for me? I don't know, am I maternal or something? I don't, I don't think I give that vibe.

[A]

Am I maternal or something? I'm not thinking I'd give that vibe. I'm just really funny.

[B]

I'm just a little. I play a 10 year old on TV.

[A]

I'm just a little guy.

[B]

I'm just a little guy. I don't plan on having a child in my home.

[A]

Maybe because you play a little guy on television, they're like, understand them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're like, obviously you want kids, so you're, so you're a little guy, can watch you be a little guy.

[B]

No, no. I have little guys who are watching me be a little guy. And that's perfectly good. I'm very, very satisfied with that. Blessed. Thank you, my dear cousins and my friends who are having children. I have a goddaughter. I'm very happy. I think it's wonderful.

[A]

I don't want children either. And I've had a lot of people say to me, but I think you will. And I'm like, yeah, I'm 79 years old.

[B]

At what point, 79 do you.

[A]

what point? Point I'm near retirement age. I don't want them.

[B]

I don't want them in my home.

[A]

I love children playing with my toys. That's something I. I always say because I have so many toys I don't share.

[B]

I won't. I love having them over. I love babysitting them. I love having a say and like how they turn out. I love all that I don't want,

[A]

but in my own.

[B]

My own house.

[A]

Oh, disgusting.

[B]

Disgusting.

[A]

Sarah.

[B]

Absolutely not.

[A]

We have reached the end.

[B]

That's so sad. I love you.

[A]

I know. I love you too. Do you have anything you want to promote?

[B]

I have a couple live action things coming. A feature called Raccoon starring Tim Heidecker. And I'm in it as well, directed by Michael Bosta that should be out in the next year or so. We have By Nothing, which is directed by Bob Byington and starring Jay Duplass and many other really wonderful people that I'm also in and will be coming out in the next year or so. And I do a lot of conventions. Follow me on Instagram. That is where you can find out all of my goings on and beings and all of that. And the wonderful Jesus 2 that we talked about is launching today. This podcast comes out later, but it's out now on Animation Plus.

[A]

Sarah, thank you so much for being here. I ask all of my guests this. I've only missed it a couple of times. Would you date me?

[B]

Yes. You're so cute.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

You are very cute.

[A]

Thank you. Pika Pikachu.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

If you like this episode of why won't you date me? You can like it, follow it, rate it, 5 stars on Spotify or Apple podcasts. And if you write me something just real nasty, hitting on me to why won't you date me? Podcast gmail.com I will read it. It this person writes, hey Nicole, big fan here. You wanted us to keep things short, so here is a dirty limerick or two. There once was a man from Maravista who wanted a lumberjack sister. We've both got some ass or no, we've both got some sass and plenty of ass to bind to. Find a bisexual mister. We'll find us a sexy attorney. Then we'll go on a sexual journey. Will play with your clit till things get so lit that they have to take you by gurney. Hope that this is fun for you. Best, Brady. Thank you, Brady.

[B]

Goodbye, Beautiful, Beautiful. That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

[A]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us now on Headgum.

[B]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.

[A]

This is us.

[B]

That's right. We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[A]

Are we gonna cry? Yes.

[B]

Little bit.

[A]

Are we gonna laugh a lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man.

[B]

Listen to. That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday. I just got up there and I was just like, oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you. The award winning Tell me what Happened podcast from on Star is back. New emergencies, new heroes. Find out what happens in season six of Tell me what Happened.