Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: Proposing is So Weird! (w/ Mo Welch)
Release Date: February 21, 2025

Episode Overview

In this love- and laughter-filled episode, comedian and host Nicole Byer sits down with fellow comedian, cartoonist, and "Sweethearts" podcaster Mo Welch. The two explore the quirks of romance, including unconventional proposals, queer dating norms, what it means to carve out your own traditions, and musings on sex and relationships. Mo shares stories of her marriage, her path through the LA lesbian dating scene, and some wild escapades—including losing her (lesbian) virginity at a circus school. The conversation bounces between candid confessions, comedic takes on tradition, pop culture tangents, and genuinely insightful moments about relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Awkwardness & Tradition of Proposals

(03:55–13:48)

Mo recounts her mutually planned, double proposal with her wife while traveling through Paris and Barcelona. Both wanted to propose, so they decided on an order and locations.
- Quote:
  “We kind of knew that we both wanted to ask each other separately. So we were like, okay, it’s gonna happen on the trip. I’ll go first and you go second.”
  - Mo Welch (08:23)
Mo’s romantic plan to propose under Paris’ oldest tree is foiled by a locked park. She improvises with a willow tree by the river, but the actual act of kneeling feels weird.
- Quote:
  “It felt so weird… I went down on a knee. Cause I thought that's what I was supposed to do. And it felt so wrong…like she’s my queen or something.”
  - Mo Welch (12:11)
Nicole and Mo discuss how proposing on one knee derives from medieval knighthood and question its modern relevance—especially in queer couples.
- Quote:
  “When you’re gay, you really can make up your own rules. And I don’t know why I didn’t make my own rule at that point.”
  - Mo Welch (13:03)

2. Reflections on Paris, Cultural Differences, and the Romance Myth

(09:02–10:34)

Both riff about Paris’ reputation versus its reality (“dirty as hell”), and their experiences interacting with locals.
- Quote:
  “But I was like, what a dirty city. It was dirty as hell.”
  - Nicole Byer (09:13)
Nicole hilariously laments that her attempts at speaking French were never appreciated, contrasting with friendlier experiences in Mexico.

3. Reality TV, Representation, and Dating Show Hosts

(15:14–18:14)

The discussion turns to “Love is Blind” and the lack of body diversity on reality dating shows.
- Quote:
  "Fat people are not a part of the conversation, which I think is wild. Put some fatties in there. Put some real uggos in there. Let's really see if love is blind."
  - Nicole Byer (15:59)
Both critique Nick and Vanessa Lachey as “Love is Blind” hosts for being self-referential and not insightful as facilitators.

4. How Mo Met Her Wife at a Lesbian Bowling Event (Les Bowl)

(20:14–31:16)

Mo and her wife met at the punny-named “Les Bowl” event at Chateau Lanes—a “fairytale” she finds both endearing and embarrassing.
- Quote:
  “We met at an event that was run by Joey Soloway…called Les Bowl. And that's where we met. And it is embarrassing… I never imagined that would be my fairy tale story.”
  - Mo Welch (24:36)
The meet-cute involved Mo focused on bowling, her future wife making approaches while on a date with someone else, and a playful post-event message (“Do you want to get together and talk about what position I could play in the WNBA?”).
Both bond over bowling failures and successes, reminiscing about pre-automated scoring days.

5. Family, Upbringing, and Smoking Tales

(21:09–23:59)

Mo talks about her mom quitting smoking “cold turkey” for her 16th birthday—a testament to parental devotion.
- Quote:
  “She quit for my birthday cold turkey and never smoked again.”
  - Mo Welch (22:05)
Nicole shares her conscious decision to start (and briefly quit) smoking, adding comic anecdotes about cigarettes brands and cocaine etiquette.

6. Queer LA Dating Scene & Lesbian Basketball

(53:01–53:44)

Mo describes the intertwined lesbian social circles in LA, particularly through sports leagues:
- Quote:
  "Everybody dates each other… I was trying to put a team together this last season and another player was like, Mo, you need to ask me who you’re putting on the team first. Because you asked this person and they were dating this person. They can’t be on the same team.”
  - Mo Welch (52:35)
Nicole recalls her ill-fated attempt at the lesbian basketball league ("I played for 36 seconds before I had an asthma attack").

7. Early Relationships & The Path to Gay Self-Awareness

(33:31–36:15)

Mo candidly discusses her high school and college relationships with men—one a natural bodybuilder, one a powerlifter—before joking,
- Quote:
  “I always thought it was so impressive…He could stand underneath the basketball hoop and jump up and slam dunk two hands…And I was like, that is cool. And I'm gay, I think.”
  - Mo Welch (34:46)

8. Wild Sexcapades & Queer Coming-of-Age Stories

(54:16–60:04)

Mo shares losing her (lesbian) virginity at a circus school (“I was just dating a clown”), plus sex in odd places: bathrooms during comedy gigs (dressed as Larry Bird), car hookups, and her high school boyfriend’s family’s fireplace store.
Discussion of public sex, inflatable mattresses (“you’ll feel your tailbone on the ground”), and the fun and pitfall of wild early-twenties escapades.

9. Queer Joy, Partnered Monogamy, and Growing Up

(57:33–59:08)

Both reflect on how sexual thrill-seeking wanes with age, increased comfort, and the pursuit of a lasting partnership.
- Quote:
  “When you get married…it’s just like, you really have, like, one place. It’s like, interior, bedroom. Your own bedroom.”
  - Mo Welch (57:50)
- Nicole: "I was pretty wild for a minute, and then I was like, I just want a partner. I gotta stay inside." (57:55)

10. Running Jokes & Memorable Laughs

The “honk honk” clown sex joke, Nicole’s fantasy of being noticed by Beyoncé, Roasts of Justin Timberlake’s acting (“I Googled midway through who let Justin Timberlake act? And there was no answer.” – Nicole, 39:40), and the pun-turned-slur potential of “Les Bowl.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Proposal Traditions:
“I don’t think I need anyone to get on a knee…when you’re actually doing it, it’s weird. Everything inside of me was like, this is wrong.”
– Mo Welch (13:25)
On Dirty Romance:
“Paris is filthy. But romantic.”
– Nicole Byer (14:20–14:22)
On Reality Dating Show Diversity:
"Put some fatties in there. Put some real uggos in there. Let's really see if love is blind."
– Nicole Byer (15:59)
On Meeting Her Wife at Les Bowl:
“I never imagined that would be my fairy tale story…we met at Les Bowl.”
– Mo Welch (24:40)
On Family Loyalty:
“That is love, because my mom stayed with him the whole time.”
– Mo Welch, on her dad’s stint in prison (45:14)
On Honk-Honk Sex Acts:
“I love getting my titties honked and hearing honk, honk. And I could just do it. He can honk ‘em and I’ll just be like, honk, honk.”
– Nicole Byer (60:41)
On LA Lesbian Interconnectedness:
“Everybody dates each other…you need to ask me who you’re putting on the team first because you asked this person and they were dating this person. They can’t be on the same team.”
– Mo Welch (52:35)

Timestamps for Important Segments

Proposals, doing it the queer way – 03:55–13:48
Paris: The reality vs the movies – 09:02–10:34
"Love is Blind" and reality TV riffs – 15:14–18:14
Meeting at Les Bowl and bowling talk – 20:14–31:16
Tales of smoking, quitting, and vices – 21:09–23:59
High school/college dating and first loves – 33:31–36:15
Queer LA dating scene and lesbian basketball leagues – 53:01–53:44
Sexcapades & uncommon places – 54:16–60:04
The ‘honk honk’ sex bit – 60:04–61:09

Tone & Language

The episode is candid, irreverent, and full of incisive, self-deprecating humor. Both Nicole and Mo employ a fast-paced, confessional style—witty, at times absurd, but always affectionate toward their subjects and themselves. Dialogue moves freely between personal narrative, cultural critique, and playful banter.

Summary

This episode is a joyful, intimate, and raucously funny journey through the bizarre rituals of love and courtship. Nicole and Mo break down outdated traditions, celebrate queer alternatives, and mine their own awkwardness for comedic gold. Whether reminiscing about botched Parisian proposals, reflecting on the pitfalls of LA lesbian dating, or recounting the time Mo lost her lesbian virginity to a clown in a circus school, they keep the focus on authenticity and agency in modern romance.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to script your own love stories—awkward traditions, weird puns, and all—this episode is for you.

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: Proposing is So Weird! (w/ Mo Welch)
Release Date: February 21, 2025

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Awkwardness & Tradition of Proposals

(03:55–13:48)

Mo recounts her mutually planned, double proposal with her wife while traveling through Paris and Barcelona. Both wanted to propose, so they decided on an order and locations.
- Quote:
  “We kind of knew that we both wanted to ask each other separately. So we were like, okay, it’s gonna happen on the trip. I’ll go first and you go second.”
  - Mo Welch (08:23)
Mo’s romantic plan to propose under Paris’ oldest tree is foiled by a locked park. She improvises with a willow tree by the river, but the actual act of kneeling feels weird.
- Quote:
  “It felt so weird… I went down on a knee. Cause I thought that's what I was supposed to do. And it felt so wrong…like she’s my queen or something.”
  - Mo Welch (12:11)
Nicole and Mo discuss how proposing on one knee derives from medieval knighthood and question its modern relevance—especially in queer couples.
- Quote:
  “When you’re gay, you really can make up your own rules. And I don’t know why I didn’t make my own rule at that point.”
  - Mo Welch (13:03)

2. Reflections on Paris, Cultural Differences, and the Romance Myth

(09:02–10:34)

Both riff about Paris’ reputation versus its reality (“dirty as hell”), and their experiences interacting with locals.
- Quote:
  “But I was like, what a dirty city. It was dirty as hell.”
  - Nicole Byer (09:13)
Nicole hilariously laments that her attempts at speaking French were never appreciated, contrasting with friendlier experiences in Mexico.

3. Reality TV, Representation, and Dating Show Hosts

(15:14–18:14)

The discussion turns to “Love is Blind” and the lack of body diversity on reality dating shows.
- Quote:
  "Fat people are not a part of the conversation, which I think is wild. Put some fatties in there. Put some real uggos in there. Let's really see if love is blind."
  - Nicole Byer (15:59)
Both critique Nick and Vanessa Lachey as “Love is Blind” hosts for being self-referential and not insightful as facilitators.

4. How Mo Met Her Wife at a Lesbian Bowling Event (Les Bowl)

(20:14–31:16)

Mo and her wife met at the punny-named “Les Bowl” event at Chateau Lanes—a “fairytale” she finds both endearing and embarrassing.
- Quote:
  “We met at an event that was run by Joey Soloway…called Les Bowl. And that's where we met. And it is embarrassing… I never imagined that would be my fairy tale story.”
  - Mo Welch (24:36)
The meet-cute involved Mo focused on bowling, her future wife making approaches while on a date with someone else, and a playful post-event message (“Do you want to get together and talk about what position I could play in the WNBA?”).
Both bond over bowling failures and successes, reminiscing about pre-automated scoring days.

5. Family, Upbringing, and Smoking Tales

(21:09–23:59)

Mo talks about her mom quitting smoking “cold turkey” for her 16th birthday—a testament to parental devotion.
- Quote:
  “She quit for my birthday cold turkey and never smoked again.”
  - Mo Welch (22:05)
Nicole shares her conscious decision to start (and briefly quit) smoking, adding comic anecdotes about cigarettes brands and cocaine etiquette.

6. Queer LA Dating Scene & Lesbian Basketball

(53:01–53:44)

Mo describes the intertwined lesbian social circles in LA, particularly through sports leagues:
- Quote:
  "Everybody dates each other… I was trying to put a team together this last season and another player was like, Mo, you need to ask me who you’re putting on the team first. Because you asked this person and they were dating this person. They can’t be on the same team.”
  - Mo Welch (52:35)
Nicole recalls her ill-fated attempt at the lesbian basketball league ("I played for 36 seconds before I had an asthma attack").

7. Early Relationships & The Path to Gay Self-Awareness

(33:31–36:15)

Mo candidly discusses her high school and college relationships with men—one a natural bodybuilder, one a powerlifter—before joking,
- Quote:
  “I always thought it was so impressive…He could stand underneath the basketball hoop and jump up and slam dunk two hands…And I was like, that is cool. And I'm gay, I think.”
  - Mo Welch (34:46)

8. Wild Sexcapades & Queer Coming-of-Age Stories

(54:16–60:04)

Mo shares losing her (lesbian) virginity at a circus school (“I was just dating a clown”), plus sex in odd places: bathrooms during comedy gigs (dressed as Larry Bird), car hookups, and her high school boyfriend’s family’s fireplace store.
Discussion of public sex, inflatable mattresses (“you’ll feel your tailbone on the ground”), and the fun and pitfall of wild early-twenties escapades.

9. Queer Joy, Partnered Monogamy, and Growing Up

(57:33–59:08)

Both reflect on how sexual thrill-seeking wanes with age, increased comfort, and the pursuit of a lasting partnership.
- Quote:
  “When you get married…it’s just like, you really have, like, one place. It’s like, interior, bedroom. Your own bedroom.”
  - Mo Welch (57:50)
- Nicole: "I was pretty wild for a minute, and then I was like, I just want a partner. I gotta stay inside." (57:55)

10. Running Jokes & Memorable Laughs

The “honk honk” clown sex joke, Nicole’s fantasy of being noticed by Beyoncé, Roasts of Justin Timberlake’s acting (“I Googled midway through who let Justin Timberlake act? And there was no answer.” – Nicole, 39:40), and the pun-turned-slur potential of “Les Bowl.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Proposal Traditions:
“I don’t think I need anyone to get on a knee…when you’re actually doing it, it’s weird. Everything inside of me was like, this is wrong.”
– Mo Welch (13:25)
On Dirty Romance:
“Paris is filthy. But romantic.”
– Nicole Byer (14:20–14:22)
On Reality Dating Show Diversity:
"Put some fatties in there. Put some real uggos in there. Let's really see if love is blind."
– Nicole Byer (15:59)
On Meeting Her Wife at Les Bowl:
“I never imagined that would be my fairy tale story…we met at Les Bowl.”
– Mo Welch (24:40)
On Family Loyalty:
“That is love, because my mom stayed with him the whole time.”
– Mo Welch, on her dad’s stint in prison (45:14)
On Honk-Honk Sex Acts:
“I love getting my titties honked and hearing honk, honk. And I could just do it. He can honk ‘em and I’ll just be like, honk, honk.”
– Nicole Byer (60:41)
On LA Lesbian Interconnectedness:
“Everybody dates each other…you need to ask me who you’re putting on the team first because you asked this person and they were dating this person. They can’t be on the same team.”
– Mo Welch (52:35)

Timestamps for Important Segments

Proposals, doing it the queer way – 03:55–13:48
Paris: The reality vs the movies – 09:02–10:34
"Love is Blind" and reality TV riffs – 15:14–18:14
Meeting at Les Bowl and bowling talk – 20:14–31:16
Tales of smoking, quitting, and vices – 21:09–23:59
High school/college dating and first loves – 33:31–36:15
Queer LA dating scene and lesbian basketball leagues – 53:01–53:44
Sexcapades & uncommon places – 54:16–60:04
The ‘honk honk’ sex bit – 60:04–61:09

Tone & Language

Summary

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to script your own love stories—awkward traditions, weird puns, and all—this episode is for you.

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Proposing is So Weird! (w/ Mo Welch)

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Summary

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Awkwardness & Tradition of Proposals

2. Reflections on Paris, Cultural Differences, and the Romance Myth

3. Reality TV, Representation, and Dating Show Hosts

4. How Mo Met Her Wife at a Lesbian Bowling Event (Les Bowl)

5. Family, Upbringing, and Smoking Tales

6. Queer LA Dating Scene & Lesbian Basketball

7. Early Relationships & The Path to Gay Self-Awareness

8. Wild Sexcapades & Queer Coming-of-Age Stories

9. Queer Joy, Partnered Monogamy, and Growing Up

10. Running Jokes & Memorable Laughs

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone & Language

Summary

Summary

Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Awkwardness & Tradition of Proposals

2. Reflections on Paris, Cultural Differences, and the Romance Myth

3. Reality TV, Representation, and Dating Show Hosts

4. How Mo Met Her Wife at a Lesbian Bowling Event (Les Bowl)

5. Family, Upbringing, and Smoking Tales

6. Queer LA Dating Scene & Lesbian Basketball

7. Early Relationships & The Path to Gay Self-Awareness

8. Wild Sexcapades & Queer Coming-of-Age Stories

9. Queer Joy, Partnered Monogamy, and Growing Up

10. Running Jokes & Memorable Laughs

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Tone & Language

Summary