Podcast Summary: Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: Rolling Blunts for Money Launderers (w/ Brooke Candy)
Date: January 23, 2026
Host: Nicole Byer
Guest: Brooke Candy

Episode Overview

In this vibrant and candid episode, Nicole Byer sits down with musician and performer Brooke Candy for a wild, honest exploration of love, relationships, sexual adventures, and the odd jobs that colored Brooke's unusual journey. The duo dives deep into topics ranging from meeting partners in unconventional places to the lessons of stripping, navigating monogamy after open relationships, and growing up around adult entertainment. Both share personal stories—hilarious, messy, and profound—about what it means to build connection and find self-acceptance regardless of societal pressures.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Meeting in Strange Places & The Origins of Love

• Brooke’s Love Story
  • Brooke met her husband in a shack in the desert where he was tattooing. There were no pictures of him online, but she admired his tattoo work and reached out.
  • "I went inside the shack and there was a dove flying around the room and just pictures of angels. And then he tattooed me. ...I was like, 'I'm gonna marry him.' But he didn’t know yet, but I knew." (03:05)
• Transition to romance included a platonic year, multiple tattoo sessions, a wild hangout in Japan, a drunken hookup, and an iconic wig mishap.
• The relationship quickly moved forward after Japan, with Brooke moving in almost immediately after declaring her love.

Nicole on Danger and Dating

• Nicole shares her historical naiveté regarding personal safety when younger, recounting stories about hitchhiking and how she felt invulnerable:
  • "I've always been fat. I don't think I'm gonna get murdered. That's hard, girl." (05:20)
  • Both women reflect on feeling unexpectedly safe in situations that, in retrospect, were risky.

On Falling Fast—And Other Relationship Stuff

• Speed of Commitment

  • Brooke and her husband moved in together after just a week.
    • "That's like one week. There was one week that went by between me saying 'I love you,' and then him stealing the keychain to then us living together now." (13:35)
  • Nicole: “Do people in your life, are they like, that's crazy. You're moving too fast?” (13:47)

• Monogamy vs. Openness

  • Brooke identifies as pansexual; previously open, now monogamous.
  • Openness only sounded appealing during fights, but acknowledges she'd likely be jealous.
  • "Even if it was my idea, I would regret it immediately because I would...have a crazy imagination.” (14:17)

• Nicole’s Take on Open Relationships

  • Finds managing multiple emotional/romantic relationships exhausting.
    • "The thought exhausts me... relationships are work. I can't imagine doing that with multiple people." (15:10)

Communication Styles & Couple Dynamics

• Texting Styles & Frustrations
  • Both admit to being relentless texters—line by line, thought by thought—which sometimes frustrates their partners.
  • "I do literal thought by thought. So as it enters my brain, I'm typing it...There are so many people, including my husband, who hate it." (16:48)
  • Nicole’s partner prefers calls over long texts and suggests calling instead.

Being Different Together

• Pop Culture, Tastes, and Compatible Differences
  • Couples don’t have to love all the same things; it's healthy to enjoy things separately.
  • "I feel he doesn't think that we can have different mindsets. ...it's fine to be in a relationship and then each do your own thing." – Brooke (20:04)
  • They discuss watching The Sopranos and how they differently justify the actions of fictional antiheroes.

Brooke’s Wild Work History

• Growing Up at Hustler
  • Daughter of a Hustler exec, Brooke’s childhood included time at the Hustler offices, often in surreal, gaudy environments.
  • Styled mannequins for Hustler, and Larry Flynt appeared in one of her music videos.
    • "I'm hogtied on his desk in his office on Wilshire Boulevard. ...And he's in his wheelchair behind me, eyes closed, like. And I'm hogtied, singing my song in slow motion." (27:23)
• Stripping & Rolling Blunts for a Money Launderer
  • Stripped at legendary clubs (Seventh Veil, Cheetahs), learned confidence and fearlessness—and about workplace hierarchies (“Apple” was the star everyone else competed with).
    • "When she would come, she would come once a week, and people would come from, like, all over LA just to see her. ...And we were all like, fuck that. It’s Apple’s day today." (34:33)
  • Day job: rolling blunts in “a back room that absolutely was money laundering. ...It was the most monotonous job. ...But actually kind of mindful."* (33:22)

Lessons from Stripping & Life Advice

• Personal Growth
  • Stripping taught Brooke to be uninhibited and overcome stage fright (temporarily), but also induced a sense of healthy delusion necessary for performing.
  • "I learned to be completely uninhibited, obviously. Getting naked in front of strangers. ...It helped me become very confident to the point of, like, calm down." (36:06)
• Advice for Single People
  • Love is unexpected: Don’t panic if it doesn’t come as you envision—it might hit you over the head "in a shack" when you least expect it.
    • "Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find it where you’re looking. ...Sometimes it is in the least expected places and it hits you over the head when you don’t expect it." (37:42)
  • Nicole echoes: you’re most likely to find someone when you’re comfortable being alone.
    • “I think when you are comfortable, fully comfortable being alone and you’re like totally at peace...that’s when it fucking comes and hits you over the head.” (39:51)

Creative Pursuits & New Beginnings

• Pandemic Career Shift
  • Brooke learned tattooing from her husband and taught herself on her own legs during the pandemic.
  • Endearing failures:
    • “I did a terrible stripper heel. ...It’s the worst. It’s unfixable, unfixable." (46:20)
• New Year's Resolutions
  • Brooke: Fewer long texts, more calls; more control over impulsive communication.

Closing Questions & Astrology Banter

• Would Brooke date Nicole?
  • "100%. No doubt. Duh." (50:01)
• Several past guests have said no—Nicole and Brooke react with mock outrage.
• Light banter about zodiac signs—Nicole is Virgo, Brooke is Cancer. Both playfully admit to caring and not caring about astrology.
• Self-deprecating jokes about organization, "piles," and creative chaos.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Romantic Risks:

  • "I used to do some of the weirdest, craziest... just like, go hang out. ...I felt safe, which is crazy." – Brooke (04:08)

• On Jealousy and Openness:

  • "Even if it was my idea, I would regret it immediately because...I have a crazy imagination." – Brooke (14:17)

• Nicole’s Dating Self-Perception:

  • "I've always been fat. ...I don't think I'm gonna get murdered. That's hard, girl." (05:20)

• On Work and Debate in Relationships:

  • “It’s like 5% work, 95% debate team, which is also work.” – Brooke (19:35)

• On Advice for Singles:

  • "Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find it where you’re looking. ...It could happen at any time, any age, anywhere." – Brooke (37:42)
  • "When you are comfortable, fully comfortable being alone ...that’s when it fucking comes." – Nicole (39:51)

• On the Hustler Office:

  • "I would be, like, sitting on the couch, eating ice cream, watching cartoons, and then, like, he would come in and then, ‘Hi, Brooke, how are you?’ ...but it wasn’t normal." – Brooke (31:05)

• On Pole Tricks at the Club:

  • "I'd climb up the top, wrap my legs, hang down, be fully hung down for a second. ...And then I could drop. And right before I’d get to the ground, I could stop myself so my head wouldn’t hit." – Brooke (33:50)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 03:05 – Meeting Brooke’s husband and the shack story
• 08:14 – The Japan trip, wild night, freaky hookup, and “wig story”
• 13:06 – Moving in and relationship beginnings
• 14:09 – Monogamy vs. open relationships
• 15:50 – Communication styles (texting vs. calling)
• 20:04 – Navigating different interests within a relationship
• 27:23 – Hustler stories, Larry Flynt, and music video
• 33:17 – Stripping and rolling blunts for money launderers
• 36:06 – Lessons learned from stripping
• 37:42 – Relationship advice for single people
• 45:15 – Learning tattooing during the pandemic
• 46:41 – New Year's resolutions
• 50:01 – "Would you date me?" and astrology talk

Tone & Style

The episode is unscripted, lively, and full of candid humor. Nicole’s signature self-deprecation and Brooke’s mix of raw honesty and wild storytelling set a relaxed, comedic, and deeply personal vibe. The conversation is peppered with explicit stories, reflections on growing up unconventional, and moments of genuine vulnerability, always laced with irreverent wit.

For New Listeners: Why This Episode?

If you've never tuned in before, this episode is a hilarious, honest example of what Why Won't You Date Me? does best—blending outrageous personal anecdotes with insightful talk about relationships, identity, and the search for connection. Brooke Candy’s journey through the clubs of LA, the surrealism of Hustler HQ, and the intimate details of modern love make this episode a wild ride—and an encouraging one for anyone feeling “behind” or different.