← Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer
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- [00:00]
A
Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.
- [00:07]
B
This is a Headgum podcast.
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A
Okay, let's be real. Makeup can be tough to learn and apply. It's either too much, too heavy, too many steps in my ADH brain. Just can't do a 12 step routine. I'm running late so I want to look good fast. So when I tried Jones Road Beauty, I was like, oh, this is nice. This is different. This works for me. Their mirror Miracle Balm is the easiest thing in my bag. I swipe some on my fingers, cheeks, lips and a little on the eyelids and in 30 seconds I look glowy, alive, hydrated, like I drink water. They have this just enough tinted moisturizer, which I love. It smooths out my skin without hiding it. It covers any redness. It enhances what you already got so you can be hot with way less work. Modern day makeup that's clean, strategic and multifunctional for effortless routines. For a limited time, my listeners are getting a free cool gloss on their first purchase when they use Code Date me at checkout. Just head to Jonesroadbeauty.com and use code Date me at checkout. After your purchase. They'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support my show and tell them I sent you. Persona Nutrition delivers science backed personalized vitamin packs that make daily wellness simple and convenient. In just minutes you get a plan tailored to your health goals. No clutter, no guesswork, just grab and go packs designed by experts. Being an adult and having to figure out vitamins, the vitamins that you need can just be like really overwhelming. I never know what I'm actually supposed to be taking and then I end up off track having half used bottles in the drawer somewhere. But then I took Persona's free online assessment and it gave me a personalized plan. It asked about my sleep, my stress, my diet, all that stuff and gave me recommendations I would have never fig figured out on my own. Now every day I just grab my little packs. It even splits them up into morning and night. So I'm not sitting there going hey wait, did I already take this one? They just make it easy to stay on track and I love that you can talk to real nutritionists. If you need help, go to personanutrition.com datemeetoday to take the free assessment and get your personalized daily vitamin packs. For an exclusive offer, get 40% off your first order. That's personanutrition.com DateMe Take the free assessment now. So you were once fired for talking about your sex life.
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B
Yeah. So many words. Yeah. When you're talking like basically with girlfriends and you're joking around, you know. And I said something like, I like to be manhandled. Right. It didn't sound great, I guess.
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A
Sure.
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B
But I definitely felt myself like filtering a little bit after that. I was like, oh my God, if I say this, like, am I going to lose this job? Am I going to be, you know, judged, shamed?
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A
I don't like that life because it's weird that in some facets like you don't get censored. Like, I guess I'm talking about like right winged influencers. I've just started looking at them, I wonder why. And they seem to be able to say anything under the guise of like freedom of speech that's like misogynistic and racist or whatever, but anything like kind of sex positive and like liberal kind of gets like a little, a little punished, which feels insane.
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B
I know.
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A
We're living in truly the wildest times. I hate it. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Welcome to another episode of why won't you date me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single. Even though you could come in a line, wind it up and say, hey, that's Thread, my guest today. My guest today. I tickle myself. My guest today is an actress who starred on the hit TV series the O.C. she's the C.O. host of the podcast Broad Ideas where she talks about sex, mental health and everything in between. And you can listen to it right here on Headgum. I'm so excited. It's Rachel Bilson.
- [04:36]
B
Thank you. That's the best intro I've ever had.
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A
I get that a lot and I think it's just because you deserve it. I come in hot. I come in. I'm like a little Caesar's pizza. Hot, hot and ready, fresh.
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B
Hot, fresh and ready.
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A
Hot, fresh and ready. I don't know. I don't know. Rachel, how are you today?
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B
I am good. I'm so happy to be here with.
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A
Excited that you're here. So can I ask, are you single? Are you dating? Do you not care to say? Cuz that's an option.
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B
You know what I would care to say?
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A
Okay.
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B
I really enjoy not dating.
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A
Okay.
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B
I've definitely dated, I've definitely been in long term relationships, but I enjoy going to bed at 9 o' clock with my daughter.
- [05:27]
A
Mm.
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B
I enjoy not wearing normal clothes outside of my house, and I enjoy not dating.
- [05:35]
A
Fair. Fair. That's a good era to be in. I have several friends who are like, yeah, I have not met anybody who's gonna add value to my life, so I'd rather just be single.
- [05:47]
B
I'm kind of happy, you know? Like, I could be in a relationship with someone I didn't have to see okay. Very often.
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A
Okay.
- [05:56]
B
Or not at all.
- [05:58]
A
So you're like, an ideal relationship is, like, not one. Not one. Yeah. You're really, really describing that like you just simply don't want to be in one.
- [06:06]
B
I mean, it does sound that way. No, I. You know, I am a very, like, dedicated relationship. Y.
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A
Okay. You know, I get that.
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B
Yeah.
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A
It becomes, like, your top priority, and then you don't have room for other things. Maybe.
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B
Yeah. But, like, I have a kid, so no one's gonna spot.
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A
Mm. Fair. How old is your kid?
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B
10, almost 11.
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A
Oh, what's that like, having. It's a real person.
- [06:33]
B
Yeah, it's a real person. It's a real person. And she's getting into, you know, the tween age era. We're just using era because there's so many of them. Tween age era, tween age era.
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A
Can I ask you a question?
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B
Yeah.
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A
So you were once fired for talking about your sex life.
- [06:53]
B
Yeah. So many words.
- [06:57]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that like? Were you. Did you want to fight it or.
- [07:02]
B
Yes. Did I want to fight it? Absolutely. Because, look, I can see both sides. Right. And when you take something out of context and you just read something as a standalone comment, thought, whatever, it can come off a certain way. Sure. When you're talking, like, basically with girlfriends and you're joking around, you know, and I said something like, I like to be manhandled. Right. Because, you know, most women.
- [07:26]
A
That's nice.
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B
Olivia.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Who co hosts Broad Ideas with me. Her mom's 83. I wanna say she was like, I like to be manhandled. You know, like, everyone could relate to whatever, but. Because I used that word in whatever context and they just took that out of the conversation. It didn't sound great, I guess.
- [07:45]
A
Sure.
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B
But I think it was a very conservative company. So they weren't comfortable maybe just talking about sex at all in general.
- [07:55]
A
I think that's so strange because that's how we got here. Like, correct. Why? Why do we care? Why? Yeah. Why do. Why does what you do over here matter for what you do over here? Unless it's, like, super egregious. And, like, awful.
- [08:12]
B
Right? Or something like completely ineffect, Inappropriate or not.
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A
Okay, that's truly wild.
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B
And it was just like we were joking around. Right? But. And yes, in my, like, where I have to be responsible. Sure. I'm saying things. It's being recorded. Like, people can hear it. Maybe don't get so comfortable like you are with your girlfriends or maybe do and then talk about that in itself. Right?
- [08:36]
A
Yes.
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B
So it's like. But I definitely felt myself like filtering a little bit after that because I was like, oh, my God, if I say this, like, am I gonna lose this job? Am I gonna be, you know, judged, shamed, whatever it may be.
- [08:51]
A
That's tough. I don't like that life because I simply don't think people should be. It's weird that in some facets, like you don't get censored. Like, I guess they're talking about, like, right winged influencers. I've just started looking at them. I wonder why. And they seem to be able to say anything under the guise of, like, freedom of spe speech that's like, misogynistic and racist or whatever, but anything like kind of sex positive and like, liberal kind of gets like a little. A little punished, which feels insane.
- [09:28]
B
I know. Well, there was a debate, and I don't know any details about this, but there was like, maybe a Fox News reporter, an MSNBC reporter, and one got fired and one didn't. I don't know what was said, but that was like kind of the same narrative, I guess.
- [09:41]
A
Yeah.
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B
Is that right?
- [09:42]
A
Yeah. I think I know what you're talking about. This is so fun to be like. I know we don't know all the facts. We don't know any of the facts this might have happened, but I think I know what happened. And the Fox News reporter said something super egregious and nothing happened. And then like, the MSM person said something like, slightly like off, but not even that off. And yeah, the MSM got fired and the Fox News guy gets to just say whatever he wants it. We're living in truly the wildest times. I hate it. I know.
- [10:13]
B
It's just really sad. Yes, it's really, really sad. And especially having a kid, like. And it's just so confusing, you know, it's like, why can't people just respect each other's whatever their beliefs are, you know?
- [10:31]
A
Yeah.
- [10:32]
B
I don't know. It's so touchy to talk about. I don't even know how to talk about it.
- [10:35]
A
It is hard to talk about. And I Feel like everybody right now is just very much like, I'm right.
- [10:40]
B
Yeah.
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A
I will not bend. I'm right. And you're like, well, no, there is room to be wrong. I'm wrong all the fucking time.
- [10:49]
B
I'm wrong all the time.
- [10:50]
A
And I'm fine. Maybe at first I'll be like, well, you know, if you. But like, eventually I'm like, okay, fine, I was wrong. Who fucking cares?
- [10:58]
B
Right?
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A
Move on.
- [10:59]
B
Right.
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A
It's so wild to me that people are just like, nope, whatever. I believe that's right. And that's it.
- [11:05]
B
Yeah. I think there's room for just a little open mindedness. No matter what your beliefs are.
- [11:11]
A
Do you think that might be a reason why you're not interested in dating or just like, I don't feel like hearing about people's philosophies and what they believe in and, and then being like, I won't bend on this.
- [11:23]
B
Right. I mean, you know, it's so interesting. I've had really good experiences, I would say, with like, you know, romantic partners or whatever and being able to talk and, and agree, disagree, whatever. It's funny that you say that because I don't ever even think about that.
- [11:40]
A
Oh.
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B
Like, oh, are they gonna disagree? You know, obviously, you know, on a first date, if you.
- [11:45]
A
Yes.
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B
If you're aligned.
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A
Yes.
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B
Right.
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A
You know, almost instantly.
- [11:48]
B
Almost instantly. Like those first few text messages, like, if you're not funny or getting the joke, just. We're not aligned in all areas. Right. So I think you learn that very early on. But yeah, I have. I've been fortunate that I haven't run into that where it's like, you know, hard stock.
- [12:08]
A
You're like, oh, we don't have the same ideology.
- [12:10]
B
Oh. I mean, I've been on first date, sure. Like where you're like, no, this is not.
- [12:15]
A
What's your worst first date?
- [12:17]
B
There's one where like this guy drove me through like skid row downtown and I didn't really understand why our first date was that. I.
- [12:30]
A
That is. That's pretty wild.
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B
I was young. Like, I feel like me, I want to say around 20. I don't even remember. It was like younger and it was a little like, huh, okay, first date. So that stands out.
- [12:40]
A
Yes.
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B
I'm not saying anything about it other than I remember.
- [12:44]
A
Odd choice.
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B
Little bit of an odd choice.
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A
Odd choice. Did you grow up here?
- [12:48]
B
Yes.
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A
Okay.
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B
Yes, I grew up in la, so that was definitely an odd choice. The other thing that I strongly dislike. I was gonna say hate. I'm gonna say Hate is like love bombing. Like, the first date, you're like, what?
- [13:06]
A
Interesting. I've only been love bombed one time, okay. And the extent of it was this person bought me flowers on our second date. And I said, oh, my God, this person loves me. And then I think he vaguely was like, I've never met anyone like you. And I was like, oh, my. I'm unique. It doesn't take very much to love bombing. Like, that's not love bombing. And.
- [13:33]
B
No, but it is.
- [13:34]
A
But if that's, like, the extent.
- [13:36]
B
Okay, well, still, though, how have you been love bombed? You know, there were. There's been a couple instances where when someone goes so hard, like, the first time it happens, you're like, oh, my.
- [13:50]
A
God, like, I got that flower and almost lost my mind.
- [13:53]
B
Right? Like, so you're like, holy shit.
- [13:57]
A
Wow.
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B
And then the second time, you're like, that's a little weird. Like, the first date, you're already jealous of the guy I dated before you. And, you know, like, weird things like that.
- [14:06]
A
I've never had that happen.
- [14:08]
B
Weird. And then this guy on the first date, like, went to kiss me, and I was like, you know, like, I turned my cheek, he was like, not okay. And I think that was a. That was a big red flag right there.
- [14:20]
A
That's happened to me before. Yeah, right.
- [14:23]
B
Ego. You're like, wait, what? Like, why am I supposed to. I don't even know if I like you.
- [14:27]
A
Yeah, we just. We're actual strangers and I don't owe you a thing, Literally.
- [14:33]
B
So that was another one where I was like, you're gonna be like that about it? Like, mad.
- [14:39]
A
That's awful.
- [14:40]
B
Yeah.
- [14:41]
A
I went on a date with someone who then on the date was, like, getting annoyed with me because I wouldn't let him sleep at my house. And I was like, you just have to go. And then, like, we just exchanged so many words. And then the next day, he was like, hey, I'm really sorry about last night. I don't really remember anything. And I was like, well, m. If you have to apologize, you do remember that you were behaving bad.
- [15:05]
B
100%.
- [15:07]
A
You know, that we were not having a nice time. You're apologizing.
- [15:10]
B
Exactly.
- [15:11]
A
Yeah. I just know first dates sometimes are scary because you're like, I don't fucking know this person at all. I don't know if they're going to be chill. I don't know if they're going to be cool.
- [15:18]
B
Yeah, I hate it. Like I said, I really like staying in my sweatsuit in my Bed. So like to get me out there and then with, you know, it's the red flags, though I will say like the older I've gotten or whatever. You're like, okay, what are your like.
- [15:36]
A
Three major red flags?
- [15:39]
B
Well, like coming on too strong too fast is like the love bomb, right? Like, you learn that and you're just like something.
- [15:45]
A
Something's afoot.
- [15:46]
B
Something's afoot. I don't love. Now this is gonna sound super old fashioned. Okay. Even if I don't let or like I want to go in on paying for our first date. I like the guy to offer.
- [15:59]
A
Yes.
- [16:00]
B
And you know, if that's people want to debate, I just, I'm old fashioned in that way. Like, if you're going to take me.
- [16:05]
A
Out, I would like you asked me out so you can pay for it.
- [16:08]
B
I would like that. I hate a phone call. Oh, if we haven't met.
- [16:13]
A
Me too.
- [16:14]
B
You call me.
- [16:16]
A
That's unhinged.
- [16:17]
B
Unhinged.
- [16:17]
A
I don't want that.
- [16:18]
B
I do not want that.
- [16:19]
A
Because then you're in my space before I've even fucking met you.
- [16:22]
B
100%.
- [16:22]
A
And we're talking. Talking about what?
- [16:24]
B
100%.
- [16:25]
A
What are we talking about?
- [16:26]
B
I can't talk to you before I.
- [16:27]
A
Have to talk to you. I don't know you. Right?
- [16:29]
B
Text. Great.
- [16:31]
A
Yes.
- [16:31]
B
No problem. Too much texting, not too much debate. Debating on who, let's say who it is. Like I said, if they're funny and they're texting, you can engage me that way.
- [16:43]
A
But I feel like I have gone out with people who are super funny over text. And then, and then I meet them and I'm like, like, oh, you are not witty in like that is. You have to terrible, right? Sit with it and then come up with something.
- [16:59]
B
Here's the thing. You need the constant immediate back and forth on text for it to count. If it is like time in between and then they come back, you're like, you had to sit and think about that. You're either quick and you come with it right then. And like the bubbles are just constantly there. Or then it's like, like, forget it.
- [17:17]
A
I, the nice man in my life, we didn't really text very much before going out. And he was like, oh. I was like worried we would have nothing to talk about. I was like, really? He was like, yes. I was like, I could talk to a wall. I wasn't worried at all. He's like, well, you talk for a living. Of course you weren't worried. He was like, I don't talk for a living. So I was worried, and I was like, yeah, we figured it out, right? This is a nice time. Yeah. But that's why I don't like texting too much beforehand, because I'm like, I really want to see what you're like in person.
- [17:50]
B
Right. No, I respect that, and I can do that.
- [17:52]
A
But I like those red flags. Yeah, don't call me.
- [17:55]
B
Do you like that? That's a red flag.
- [17:57]
A
I love that. That's a red flag. People like that. And I'm like, some people love a phone call. Some people like a FaceTime beforehand. Are you kidding?
- [18:06]
B
No. That's like someone coming to your door and knocking, but before they met you without warning. And it's like, that is a blind FaceTime. Scary blind show up on your doorstep.
- [18:17]
A
I've gotten FaceTimes that were unexpected from people, and I've, like, looked at it and, like, moved away from my phone. I'm like, I don't know. Can you see me? I know full well you cannot see me.
- [18:25]
B
But you.
- [18:26]
A
I'm moving away.
- [18:26]
B
Throw that phone.
- [18:27]
A
I don't want it. That's too scary.
- [18:29]
B
I am with you on that.
- [18:30]
A
I had a Zoom date over Covid, and it was funny because I was, like, running late and then logged on to the Zoom, and we talked for, like, four minutes before he was like, all right, gotta go. All my friends are here. And I was like, during COVID What? I was like, I'm glad we did this, because we don't align.
- [18:50]
B
We do not align.
- [18:51]
A
This is like in the beginning where it was like, hey, everyone, stay inside and don't talk to a single soul. And he was like, yeah, my friends, they're all here. And I was like, inside.
- [19:02]
B
Nope.
- [19:03]
A
No, thank you.
- [19:04]
B
No.
- [19:04]
A
Rachel, real quick, we have to take a break. You know that feeling when you've got a bunch of events coming up and you open up your closet, and somehow there's nothing in there that's working for you? Maybe you have a birthday, a dinner, a wedding. Or you're like, maybe I just need to buy three new outfits this month. Well, no, you don't. You could just rent them all from Nuuly. Nuuly is a subscription clothing rental service where just for $98 a month, you get to pick any six styles, anything you want, from party dresses to designer jeans to vintage pieces. They have amazing pieces. And I swear, every time I wear something from Nuuly, someone's just like, oh, my God. Where did you get it from? And they've got stuff from Reformation Free People, Fashion Brand company Lioness, all those cute brands but without spending hundreds of your own dollars. You can try trends, switch up your style and when you're over it, you just send it back. No closet clutter, no fast fashion guilt, no laundry. And yes, the sizes go up to 5x and if you love something, you can just buy it at a discount. Nuuly is a great value at 98amonth for any six styles. But right now you can get $28 off your first month in Nuuly when you sign up with the code Date me. Just go to n u-l y.com that's Nuuly with two use and enter the code date me and sign up to get $28 off your first month. That's n u u l y.com nuuly with two u's with code date Me Newly Subscription Clothing Rental Change your clothes Ooh wee. Fall is honestly my favorite time to get dressed. Because, listen, I'm not trying to sweat through an outfit. I want to layer. I want to serve. And Macy's Fall Fashion Guide makes it ridicul easy to find all the looks I want in one place. Right now I'm really into romantic sheer dresses give me something flowy with a dramatic sleeve. I'm eyeing some pieces from CC&Inc. That looks stunning for the fall. We're building looks okay, and Macy's isn't just for me. Okay? It is perfect for shopping from a man too. They've got all the best fall essentials for him too. Let's like bomber jackets from Levi's and loafers from GH Bass. And if you're trying to style your boo like he's in a fall catalog, this is the move. Whether you're into the new boho thing, some old animal print, or that effortless statement luxury, Macy's has it all, and they carry petite plus tall. Whatever your size, there's something cute waiting for you. So if you're ready to dress like your most fashionable fall self, head to Macy's.com or shop in store and grab what's calling your name. You know it's time to treat yourself to a new wardrobe. The weather is cooling down, the days are getting shorter, and just that makes me want to make my space even cozier for hibernation. And the place I go for that is Wayfair. Wayfair is everything you need to cozify your home this fall. Like comfy throw blankets you can curl up under to cute doormats that make your entryway Feel inviting. And Dutch ovens. Perfect for those big fall stews. And look, I've been buying more pots for my garden because I'm a farmer now. Okay. I love that Wayfair has such a huge selection, curated by style and at every price point. It makes it so easy to find pieces that fit my vibe. And the delivery was free and fast, which means I don't have to lug giant, heavy pots from the store all by myself. So if you want to get cozy this fall, Wayfarer makes it simple. Cozify your space with Wayfarer's curated collection of easy, affordable fall updates. From comfy recliners to cozy bedding and autumn decorations. Find it all for way less@wayfair.com that's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfarer Every style, every home. And we're back. Okay. Rachel.
- [23:07]
B
Yes.
- [23:07]
A
You've been in, like, kind of public relationships. What? Is that awful?
- [23:13]
B
What if I was like, it's the. I love it. People in my business. No, it's a funny thing, you know, Like, I don't know. I was in a very, like, long term. It was 11 years, and so that's just, like, kind of what it is. And there's not really news during the time. For the most part, you're just kind of there.
- [23:34]
A
Yes.
- [23:34]
B
And before that, like, I dated someone I worked with, and it was, you know, there was a tension, but I feel like the breakups get the most attention.
- [23:42]
A
Yeah, I think you're right. When people are happy, who gives a shit?
- [23:45]
B
They're like, okay, there they are again.
- [23:47]
A
It's like reality shows when they're like. When there's, like, people in love, you're like, okay, whatever.
- [23:54]
B
Right.
- [23:54]
A
But, like, when they're fighting and backstabbing, you're like, there we go. This is entertainment.
- [23:58]
B
Exactly.
- [23:59]
A
What was it like dating a co star? Was that hard?
- [24:03]
B
I will say that it was actually really nice.
- [24:07]
A
Mm.
- [24:08]
B
We, you know, worked together. There wasn't a ton of time to be social.
- [24:14]
A
Mm.
- [24:14]
B
So we really got to see each other. And we were on a show that was, like, both of our first shows that was, you know, popular. And we got to go through that together, too, where our work was getting attention, so we had each other.
- [24:30]
A
That's nice.
- [24:31]
B
It was nice.
- [24:31]
A
It's nice to be able to, like, to be very close to somebody who's going through the exact thing you're going through.
- [24:38]
B
Right.
- [24:39]
A
I mean, we're not dating, but my best friend, Sasheer, we have kind of just gone through our Careers together. And it's been so nice to have someone be like, hey, what was this like? Or, like, how much did you get paid on that? Or, like, what do I do after this happened? It's. It was like. It's been so wonderful. So I can imagine. How old were you when you got the OC?
- [25:00]
B
21.
- [25:01]
A
Yeah. That's so young.
- [25:02]
B
Yeah.
- [25:03]
A
Network show. Network money.
- [25:07]
B
Yeah.
- [25:08]
A
But it is wild to, like, be thrown into that with. That was your.
- [25:12]
B
For sure.
- [25:12]
A
That wasn't your first show. Yes, that was my first show.
- [25:15]
B
That's why my first, like, series regular, whatever. Or I started the show as a guest star, which was great.
- [25:21]
A
That's nice.
- [25:22]
B
I just, like, slid on in there.
- [25:23]
A
What a nice compliment to be like, hey, we love you so much. You gotta stick around.
- [25:29]
B
It was. It was great. Like, everything about that whole experience, I look back and I'm like, that was awesome.
- [25:36]
A
How many years was that?
- [25:37]
B
4.
- [25:38]
A
It's a solid amount of time.
- [25:39]
B
It was solid.
- [25:41]
A
How do you introduce a new partner to your child? Is that, like, a hard thing?
- [25:45]
B
Yeah, you don't really. Unless. Oh, okay. I mean, I don't know. Everyone's different. People do things differently. But I personally wouldn't. Unless it was, like, something really serious, you know, or someone that was gonna stick around for sure, because.
- [26:00]
A
Yeah. Cause it would be weird, right? It'd be weird to be like, here's this person. Here's this person. Here's this person. They're like. There's a lot of people.
- [26:08]
B
Just, like a revolving door. No. You know, we have a very close relationship, like her dad and everything. So it's not. There's not really a lot of space to just. Unless it's someone that's really gonna be there.
- [26:22]
A
Mm. And has co parenting been easy? Was it, like, something that you had to, like, figure out, or was it, like, from the jump, you were like, oh, this is how that works. And that's great.
- [26:32]
B
Um, no, I wouldn't say it was.
- [26:35]
A
Like, I don't know. I don't have a kid.
- [26:36]
B
This is how that works. But, no, there's definitely some navigating, like, for sure. And our daughter was really young when we separated as a couple. She was a little less than three years old. A little less than three.
- [26:51]
A
A little less.
- [26:51]
B
That sounds weird. She was almost three.
- [26:53]
A
I don't know. I liked it. A little less than three.
- [26:55]
B
Little less than three. That was a really weird way to put it.
- [26:58]
A
A little less than three.
- [26:58]
B
A little less than three. She was about to be three, and so she was Little. So she doesn't really know it any different, but she still has, like, you know, a sense of her parents and, like, together and all of that. So that's been good. But yeah, it was. Navigating it in the beginning was tough.
- [27:17]
A
Mm. A three year old and then you're like, oh, I have to bring this child to see their other parent. It would make me really annoyed.
- [27:28]
B
Well, certain instances, I'm sure people don't love that. And I know people have someone else do the transporting and things like that, depending on if things are bad between the couple.
- [27:40]
A
What a good company. I'll transport your child for you. If you don't want to see your.
- [27:45]
B
Ex, there's an app.
- [27:48]
A
I would do that. That sounds like a good idea. Okay. My lovely assistant did research on you. So the day after you lost your virginity, your mother sat you down to have the sex talk and asked if he pleasured her. Oh, God, that's really funny.
- [28:07]
B
Okay. Did she say those words? I don't know. My mom is very open. I probably said that. And I was like, being funny because my mom is incredibly open.
- [28:17]
A
She's a sex therapist.
- [28:19]
B
Not technically that title. She's a counselor. And she loves that topic. Like, you know, she talks about it in very real ways. And there's like tantric posters in her house. You know what I mean? Like, very open. So. But that was great for, like, a young girl because there was never any shame or anything else. Like, we could talk about everything.
- [28:43]
A
I love that.
- [28:44]
B
Yeah. Like, birth control, when it was appropriate. Like, everything was just handled. But she just knew. That was the weirdest part.
- [28:51]
A
Oh, wait, you didn't tell her. She was just like, something's different about you.
- [28:55]
B
She literally, like, the next day, she had that intuition. We all kind of have this crazy, like, intuitive thing in my family, and she definitely had that. And talk to me about it, which was so. But my friends all love to talk to my mom about this stuff, and I'm the one like, mom.
- [29:13]
A
I think it's because it's like, she's your mom. And then to your friends, it's like, oh, that's my friend's cool mom.
- [29:18]
B
Right? To me, I'm just like, I can't do this with you. I still, to this day, I'm like, mom. But like, I will. I'll be like, oh, my God, mom, you don't even know, like, what I met last night.
- [29:30]
A
You said that your family has, like, an intuitive thing going on. Are you intuitive? And how so?
- [29:38]
B
God, I'd have to think of examples. I. I have a really strong intuition about things. Like, I've been right about things. Like, I'll just be like, get a feeling. And then it'll be absolutely.
- [29:48]
A
Do you have any feelings about me?
- [29:50]
B
You are the best. I think everyone knows.
- [29:55]
A
I love that. I'm asking you. Like, you just said you're a psychic. I'm like, I know.
- [29:59]
B
You're like, what do you see in my future? I wish. That would be cool. My daughter started to do it. Like, where she'd be like, mom, this really weird thing happened where I thought this before I went to this ice cream store, that the thing wasn't going to be working, it was going to be out. And then I walked in to use it and it wasn't working, and it was out. And I was like, you have that thing. Wait, that's a little wild. I know. It's cool.
- [30:22]
A
I wish I had intuition like that. Have you ever seen. Oh, God, I wish her. I think her name is Sylvia. I wish I could remember it. But she was this, like, white lady who was a psychic. And she would be on, like, Montel or whatever, and, like, people in the audience would be like, like, so my dad died. And she'd be like, you don't want to know about your dad. He was a bad man.
- [30:41]
B
Oh, my God.
- [30:42]
A
I don't want to. Very deep voice. But she was.
- [30:45]
B
I don't like anything negative.
- [30:47]
A
She was allegedly wrong about a lot of things. Like, she would tell families, I want you to find her missing children. She would tell. She'd be like, they're dead. And then they'd find the missing children. Mars, can you.
- [31:00]
B
Is it Sylvia Brown?
- [31:02]
A
Maybe. What does she look like? She's like, blonde hair, old white lady. I think so.
- [31:08]
B
I think it's Sylvia Brown. Yeah, just, like, funny, wrong about things.
- [31:13]
A
I went to a psychic once in New Orleans, and I was wearing big red sunglasses. My hair was braided down past my butt. I was wearing, like, a gold skirt and a dinosaur shirt. I looked.
- [31:24]
B
You love dinosaurs.
- [31:25]
A
I love dinosaurs. I love animals. Have a nice time. And the lady looked at me and she was like, mmm, you don't like attention, do you? And I was like. And she was being deadass. Like, she wasn't, like, being funny or, like, tongue in cheek. She was just like, you like being. And then she, like, followed up with, like, you're a quiet person. You love solace. And I was like. I was just screaming with my friend Mateo down the street.
- [31:51]
B
What do you mean you're like you?
- [31:54]
A
I think you're wrong.
- [31:56]
B
Have you ever had anyone that was so right, though?
- [32:00]
A
Yes. I. I go to the or. I. Yeah. I do the session with this lovely man every year. And he has been right about so many things. Wow. And he has said things to me that, like, didn't make sense. And then a year later, fully make sense.
- [32:17]
B
Crazy.
- [32:18]
A
And then I'll bring it up to him and he's like, oh, yeah, sometimes I can see the future. And I'm like, you're so cavalier about this.
- [32:25]
B
It's like that thing.
- [32:26]
A
I have, like, a little bit of intuition, but it's very specific. It's only, like, about my friends. And I'm pretty good at reading people.
- [32:38]
B
Yes.
- [32:38]
A
Like, I know if someone's good or bad almost immediately.
- [32:41]
B
Right, Right. That's. That is intuitive.
- [32:43]
A
It's usually never wrong.
- [32:45]
B
Yeah.
- [32:45]
A
It's because people will show you themselves on, like, the second or third time you're meeting them. Everyone's always on their best behavior, like, the first time, but, like, the second or third, like. Like, if someone does something a little off, I'm like, huh?
- [32:56]
B
Right.
- [32:57]
A
I think you might be bad. Yeah, I think you're bad. And usually I'm right.
- [33:02]
B
You're right. I know. I have a good read on people. I think a lot of women have a strong intuition.
- [33:08]
A
I mean, I think so, too.
- [33:09]
B
That is a pretty, you know, common statement. But I do believe it.
- [33:13]
A
It is a whole woman's intuition. There's even a razor named after it. My Intuition.
- [33:21]
B
You're right. I think I used that razor.
- [33:23]
A
I used that razor.
- [33:24]
B
That's right.
- [33:25]
A
I used it today as if I'm doing ads for it. It's just seamlessly integrating the intuition. Gillette Galette.
- [33:34]
B
Gillette Galette. I know. I don't know.
- [33:36]
A
I think it is Gillette, isn't it? That was humiliating for me. The Galette razor. Oh, my God. What's one of the best dates you've ever been on?
- [33:47]
B
The best dates I've ever been on. I like doing, like, really spontaneous, random things. Why do I feel like. I mean, like, if someone took me bowling or, like, to Dave and Buster's, I would be like, this is amazing.
- [33:59]
A
That's wild that you said that. One of my favorite dates was a bowling date. And then me and the nice man who's in my life, we've been to Dave and Buster's, I think, three times together.
- [34:09]
B
So fun.
- [34:10]
A
We just, like, ended up at Dave and Buster so many times.
- [34:14]
B
I love it. See, that's fun. I like doing things. I like activities. Like I don't want to go to a movie.
- [34:20]
A
No movies.
- [34:21]
B
No. I don't love going to the movies. I know why I have to like, have a lot of motivation to sit there and like, watch something. Oh. And well, also, if it's a date, you're trying to get to know someone and then you're just sitting awkwardly and quiet for two hours.
- [34:40]
A
I do think, think it's like, okay, a little bit of time spent together and then you have something to talk about after. Oh, that's like a built in, like, oh, we have something to talk about. Something to come back to.
- [34:53]
B
Do you ever do that thing where before you think of things that you're gonna say or topics that you can.
- [34:58]
A
Talk about all the time?
- [34:58]
B
Yeah.
- [34:59]
A
Maybe it's a little bit of social anxiety.
- [35:01]
B
Right. That's what I wonder. Because I feel like I have that pretty massively. And I had a therapist be like, just ask, ask questions, lots of questions. And I was like, okay, if I have that, like in my, you know, wheelhouse, then I have that just like on deck. But I do wonder. But you do the same thing.
- [35:18]
A
I do do the same thing. I also practice conversations in my head and I would say 100% it's wrong. The way I've rehearsed something is never going to win. It's never the way that the conversation goes because you can't anticipate what the other person's gonna say. Right. I didn't prepare for that.
- [35:39]
B
Right, right. Because you can't prepare. No, that's like I hate pre interviews before you do a talk show.
- [35:46]
A
Yes.
- [35:47]
B
Right. Even though it's like kind of going against what I'm saying, where like, I'll have to think of topics to talk about. But going on a talk show, if you have the conversation first, you're, you know, you already have, you already had it. Then you're in your head and you're like, like, fuck, how did I say this? Or am I gonna like land this? Or like, is this the story I told? Or like, whatever. And then it gets me in my head and then I'm more anxious.
- [36:08]
A
Uh huh. I. The first, the first time I did Conan was the first talk show I did. I had no idea that the pre interview was for the interview.
- [36:22]
B
Oh my God.
- [36:23]
A
I remember sitting there and he had asked a question and I didn't say what I said in the pre interview and he kind of like reframed it and I was like, like, what is he angling at? And then like by like the second question or I Don't know. Like some. Like, halfway through the interview, I was like, I think I'm supposed to be saying the stuff that I said earlier. Oh, my God. That's amazing. I felt so dumb.
- [36:48]
B
Oh, my God. But like, but that's why it's so weird. But it's really just to set them up so they have their jokes or they know what to talk about or like, whatever it is. Right.
- [36:57]
A
I thought it was just a conversation.
- [36:58]
B
Right.
- [36:59]
A
And I don't know what I thought the pre interview was for.
- [37:02]
B
You're like, they just want to get to know me.
- [37:04]
A
Yeah. I was like, I guess this producer wants to be my friend. It rocked my world. I was like, whoa, I feel dead. But it was my first time. And I feel like they should have said this is a pre interview for the interview. So he'll ask you the questions in just a different way.
- [37:21]
B
Right.
- [37:21]
A
I don't know. But maybe I could have just inferred that.
- [37:26]
B
No, but they should have told you for sure. Yes.
- [37:29]
A
But also. It's okay. I had a nice time.
- [37:31]
B
Yeah.
- [37:38]
A
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Like.
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- [40:14]
B
Oh, my God. That's amazing.
- [40:16]
A
It is hard. I bet it is so hard because you're like, if people don't talk, that's hard. If they talk too much, that's hard.
- [40:24]
B
That's right.
- [40:24]
A
Actually, that's not hard. That's easy if you keep talking.
- [40:27]
B
Who did you enter? Who was like the standout?
- [40:30]
A
Terry Crews was so wonderful. I will say all of my guests were really great, but Terry Crews was great. Tracee Ellis Ross was really incredible. This woman named Rachel Hilson was really great. I had so many good guests. Oh, God. Taraji P. Henson was really incredible. Like, they were all Tony Khan.
- [40:51]
B
Amazing.
- [40:51]
A
I just had a bunch of really great guests.
- [40:53]
B
That's so cool.
- [40:54]
A
And it was so nice.
- [40:55]
B
And you're doing the monologues and everything.
- [40:57]
A
I did the monologues. I did the interviews. I did pre tapes. It was scary. It's very scary.
- [41:03]
B
It's amazing that you did that.
- [41:04]
A
But it's very. It was fun. It's a fun job. And I see why he takes a vacation every year because it is a lot of work. Yeah, it's a true nine to five. And people are talking. Talking to you from nine to five.
- [41:19]
B
Right.
- [41:19]
A
Like, from the time you get there until the time you go home. People are like, what about the. This we wrote? We rewrote this Labubu joke.
- [41:25]
B
And you're like, okay, do you have any labubus?
- [41:28]
A
I have one Labubu.
- [41:29]
B
Which one do you have?
- [41:30]
A
She's over there. She's purple from here. She's like a purpley. Like a lavender night eye.
- [41:38]
B
Oh, yeah, that's love. My daughter's obsessed, so I'm very well hurt.
- [41:42]
A
Mine's called love.
- [41:43]
B
Luck.
- [41:43]
A
Oh, luck.
- [41:44]
B
Luck. Love is the pinkish reddish one.
- [41:47]
A
I didn't know that they had different things.
- [41:49]
B
Oh, there's different series, different blind boxes, different names.
- [41:52]
A
Blind box. Oh, that's Just buy a box and you don't know.
- [41:55]
B
You don't know which one you're getting. That's luck.
- [41:57]
A
Oh, yeah. Okay.
- [41:59]
B
Well, you're welcome.
- [42:00]
A
Thank you. And Luck is wearing a shirt. A little mayhem shirt. Lady got that mayhem shirt that my friend got for me. I was like, sure, I'll dress my labubu. Does your daughter wear the labubu, like, on her belt loop?
- [42:13]
B
She does.
- [42:15]
A
Why?
- [42:16]
B
I don't know. She has collected quite a few men. They just go around her belt.
- [42:22]
A
That's very, very funny to me.
- [42:24]
B
It is funny. The kids love. They have mini labubus now. Oh, they're like, this big. They're really cute.
- [42:31]
A
See? And where you get them from? Pop Mart?
- [42:34]
B
Yeah, but it's so.
- [42:34]
A
And then you have to, like, stand on the line.
- [42:36]
B
Well, you could just order them online and have them shipped, but sometimes it takes a long time. I know way too much about lobbying, but stores sell them for, like, twice as much.
- [42:46]
A
Yeah, it was a hundred dollars.
- [42:48]
B
Exactly.
- [42:49]
A
And then how much are they Normally?
- [42:50]
B
They're like 20, $30? $28.
- [42:53]
A
That's so wild.
- [42:55]
B
No, I know. It's crazy.
- [42:56]
A
I want another one.
- [42:58]
B
Yeah, it's addicting, right?
- [42:59]
A
I like them.
- [43:00]
B
Well, it's fun. You don't know what you're gonna get. I get so excited every time she has a box and she gets to open it.
- [43:04]
A
Wait, they're all blind boxes? What if you get the same labubu?
- [43:08]
B
Then you get the same Labubu.
- [43:10]
A
Oh, my God.
- [43:10]
B
I know.
- [43:11]
A
That's so funny. I had no idea that they were all blind boxes.
- [43:14]
B
They. I mean, they have some specialty ones that are in, like, a clear box. But that's not part of the blind box series.
- [43:19]
A
The blind box series.
- [43:21]
B
I know, you guys, this has become My life.
- [43:23]
A
I want a dark purple Labubu. Do they have one that looks like Tinky Winky?
- [43:27]
B
Oh, my God. Like the Teletubby.
- [43:29]
A
Like that kind of purple.
- [43:30]
B
I think in the mini ones, they do the little ones.
- [43:33]
A
Well. How small is the mini one?
- [43:34]
B
They're like this big. They're cute. It's called the Pin for Love boxes. Anyone who wants to know, it feels.
- [43:41]
A
Like you're working for Labuba.
- [43:42]
B
I feel like I work for popmart.
- [43:44]
A
It's very funny.
- [43:45]
B
I know. They have this purple one, one that's a specialty one. Okay.
- [43:49]
A
Is it. Is it in a leopard print dress?
- [43:52]
B
Yeah, right. It doesn't look leopard.
- [43:54]
A
It looks like a gold dress.
- [43:55]
B
A gold dress. That's a specialty one. So, like, if you f. That one would be in a clear box, not a blend. Oh, you guys, this is kind of sad.
- [44:03]
A
It's not sad. You have a daughter and you're interested in the things that she's interested in. If anything, this is proving that you're a good mother.
- [44:10]
B
Okay, thanks.
- [44:11]
A
$55 for that labubu.
- [44:13]
B
55.
- [44:13]
A
55.
- [44:14]
B
That's actually a good deal for a specialty one.
- [44:16]
A
What website is it on? Look@puppybook.com.
- [44:19]
B
Oh, it's on. Is it available?
- [44:22]
A
Oh, no, it's not available. Notify me when available.
- [44:24]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [44:25]
A
God, that's so funny.
- [44:26]
B
Oh, my God. Yeah, you got to get it when it drops, and you have to get it within the first five seconds or.
- [44:30]
A
Your first five seconds. They send you, like, email blasts to be like, get online at 1022.
- [44:35]
B
Well, they'll. They'll say when the drop is going to be. You guys.
- [44:39]
A
How many Labubus does your daughter have?
- [44:42]
B
I don't know, but her. Her dad kind of has a Labu problem, too, where he just loves, like, getting them for her. And we all get excited, you know, she. Oh, which one's we gonna get? We're all invested in the Labubu world.
- [44:54]
A
I love that for you, all of us. I think that's great. What advice would you give your daughter for when she starts dating? I know it's a while away. Probably 10 years away. I don't know, 20, 30, and never. And she's an old woman. What advice do you have when she's in her 60s?
- [45:12]
B
You know what's so messed up? You want to be like, make sure they're kind. Right? Like, and they treat you well, which is so true. But then, like, when you're first getting out there, the ones that get your attention doesn't always Go that way.
- [45:26]
A
The bad ones.
- [45:27]
B
So you really have to enforce that. Funny is so important.
- [45:31]
A
I think funny is important. Or at least having the same sense of humor.
- [45:35]
B
Or at least, like, if you're the funny one. And if you laugh at my joke. Jokes, that works too.
- [45:40]
A
That's great.
- [45:40]
B
Sense of humor. Funny, like, you know, you just want to have a good time with someone.
- [45:45]
A
Yes.
- [45:46]
B
Right.
- [45:46]
A
Because ultimately that's all you're doing. It's just like hanging out with this person and doing life with them all the time. And it's gotta be. It's gotta be a nice time. If you're having a bad time, you gotta get out.
- [45:58]
B
They need to treat you right. Yes.
- [45:59]
A
And that was a hard thing to realize growing up. Up that it was like, okay, this person might be attractive and might check some boxes, but, like, are they nice to me?
- [46:11]
B
Nice.
- [46:11]
A
Do they actually like me? And honestly, I have dated very few people who actually liked me.
- [46:19]
B
What?
- [46:23]
A
Yeah. I've dated a lot of men who did not like me. Like, I'm a very late person, and I've dated people who've had a lot to say about that. Oh, gosh, like months in, where I'm like, you know, I'm late.
- [46:34]
B
Right.
- [46:35]
A
You just know it.
- [46:35]
B
You don't have to put out there from the jump. Right. Like, you're like, oh, yeah, I have.
- [46:40]
A
No idea how to turn this off.
- [46:42]
B
Yeah. But you're like, this is what. What you see is what you get. So three months down the line, like, that's like, that's on them.
- [46:48]
A
It is on them. But then I'm also like, why didn't you break up with me? Why? But also, I'm like, why didn't I break up with these people? Because I clearly knew that they didn't like me. But, you know, you just want. You just want to be in love. That's all you want.
- [47:03]
B
You know, because growing up, watching all those movies and everything else, you think it's like, movie, and you're like, yes, I want someone showing up with the boomboxes or the book with the phone.
- [47:14]
A
Number or a magic carpet or a.
- [47:17]
B
You love Aladdin.
- [47:18]
A
I loved Aladdin. I loved Aladdin so much. Oh, my God. A little street rat catfishing me. Riff raff pulling up with a carpet and taking me away from my life. Yes, it does sound great.
- [47:31]
B
I've talked about this many times. But Seven Brides for Seven Brothers was a musical about a bunch of mountain brothers who kidnap women, what. Bring them up to the farm, and then they wind up falling in Love with the kidnappers. And they all don't wanna go home once the snow has thawed.
- [47:47]
A
Wait, what is this?
- [47:48]
B
It's an old musical called Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. And it was my favorite, and so I think that shaped me.
- [47:53]
A
Is that not a movie?
- [47:54]
B
That explains so much. It's a movie. It's a musical. Yes.
- [47:56]
A
Is it a cartoon? No, it's called Seven Brides. Seven Brothers.
- [48:00]
B
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Brothers.
- [48:02]
A
And it's about seven brothers who steal seven women. Basically bring them up to the mountain.
- [48:05]
B
Yes.
- [48:06]
A
And then hold them captive.
- [48:07]
B
Pretty much.
- [48:08]
A
And then when the snow thaws, they're like, we're good.
- [48:10]
B
Yep. We love you.
- [48:12]
A
So they had a little bit of Stockholm syndrome. Completely interesting.
- [48:16]
B
Very.
- [48:16]
A
I mean, if you think about it, that's what Belle had in Beauty and the Beast.
- [48:20]
B
I've never thought about that.
- [48:21]
A
Kidnapped her, bought her books and dresses.
- [48:24]
B
She's like. And then she started library.
- [48:25]
A
She started talking to the furniture. That was like a hallucination. She was unwell, locked in this castle. The cops were not talking to her.
- [48:33]
B
Oh, my God.
- [48:34]
A
And then she was like, I love him.
- [48:35]
B
I know.
- [48:36]
A
Do you?
- [48:36]
B
She's like, there's something sweet.
- [48:37]
A
Do you? Or is that all you know right now because you were held captive for.
- [48:40]
B
Held captive in a very beautiful castle.
- [48:42]
A
Yeah. If anything, Disney movies are. They're not. They don't have happily ever afters. It's women in bad situations. They just have to deal with.
- [48:51]
B
They deal with it, and then they fall in love.
- [48:53]
A
Yeah. Snow White. She had a poisoned apple, fell asleep, and then a man kissed her without consent.
- [48:59]
B
Have you seen that? The theory. Right. That she actually is dead, and they ride off into like. But the castle's like, in the clouds in Snow White. Yeah. There's, like, an Instagram handle that, like, breaks down all the Disney movies, and they're like, we think this is what really happened. Or like, this is tied to this one in this way. Very interesting.
- [49:17]
A
Interesting. I wonder if they are on the same train with me. Thinking, Belle has psychosis and the furniture was not actually talking to her. I really do think she was like, oh, no.
- [49:27]
B
She was, like, hallucinating.
- [49:29]
A
I'm not doing well. Rachel, I have a question. What advice would you give single people?
- [49:37]
B
I've never done the apps, but I hear it's a good way just to get out there, even if you don't necessarily want to date the people. It gets you out there, gets you comfortable. Maybe going out. I'm talking from a place of, like, I'm in my bed. So. So. But like, you know, supposedly they can be good.
- [49:57]
A
Uh huh.
- [49:58]
B
This is my advice.
- [49:59]
A
I love that your advice is like, I don't know what you're gonna say. Yeah, this is what people heard this. And maybe if you do this thing that. I don't, I don't actually know. I don't know. But if you do it, it's gonna be good.
- [50:10]
B
It's, you know, if you have like a really easy conversation, I think that's a good sign. Make sure.
- [50:19]
A
Well, have you only dated, like, you've never been on the app? So you've only met people in person. So what is your advice about meeting someone in person?
- [50:28]
B
I don't, I don't. I don't know if I've really met a lot of people. I. My. I'm not the right person for dating advice because it's not traditional. Like I'm out at whatever, meeting people. I meet people through people or work or whatever.
- [50:44]
A
Okay. I think that might be good advice. Keeping your options open to like, like if a friend wants to set you up, like, be open to them.
- [50:52]
B
I think saying yes is a really good thing to stand by.
- [50:54]
A
See, that's good advice.
- [50:56]
B
Thank you.
- [50:57]
A
Has a friend set you up and has it ever gone well?
- [51:01]
B
I have been set up. Did not go. That one did not go well.
- [51:06]
A
Fair. No, I've never been set up in.
- [51:11]
B
I don't think I never.
- [51:12]
A
No, no. I've never had a friend be like, oh my God, this person would be so good for you or whatever.
- [51:17]
B
Yeah.
- [51:17]
A
But I also don't trust any friend to set me up with somebody who would actually vibe with me. Got it. Because I feel like they'd be like this weird dude, this weird lady where I'm like, you know, I don't know if I need a weirdo. I think I'm weird enough for both of us because the, the nice man in my life, he's. I wouldn't say he's weird. I would say he's weird things. But like, when you first meet him, he'd be like, oh, what a nice grounded human. And I'm like, well, I think that's what's good, right?
- [51:48]
B
When you. Someone like a balance. Yes. Yeah.
- [51:51]
A
Like a ying to your yang.
- [51:52]
B
Yes, exactly. And say yes, everybody.
- [51:57]
A
I think that's good advice to say. Just say yes.
- [52:00]
B
Just say yes.
- [52:01]
A
Well, Rachel, we've reached the end. Do you have anything you want to promote?
- [52:07]
B
Just our podcast, Broad ideas. We're branching out into a book club coming up, which the name isn't official yet, so I won't plug that, but have a lookout for that.
- [52:20]
A
That's fun.
- [52:21]
B
It's fun.
- [52:21]
A
Are you gonna read a book a week? How do you do a book haul a week?
- [52:24]
B
I feel like it's like a monthly thing. People need time.
- [52:28]
A
Yeah.
- [52:28]
B
Don't you think?
- [52:29]
A
Yes. The last book I read, it took me. It took me about a month. And it was a book I had already read. And I'd been reading this one book for, I think, four months. It's a good book. It's called the Shards by Brett Easton Ellis.
- [52:45]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [52:46]
A
I really like it. I just, for whatever reason, can only read a little bit at a time, Whatever. And then it's also a really big book. So I'm like, in my arms, I'm like, this is cumbersome.
- [52:58]
B
You'll get there eventually.
- [52:59]
A
I hope so. Well, thank you for being here.
- [53:02]
B
Thank you for having me.
- [53:04]
A
If you like this episode of why won't you date me? Wait, you. You had a pet pig?
- [53:08]
B
Pig? Yeah, Petunia. She was an absolute.
- [53:12]
A
Oh, yeah. Was she a big pig or a little pig?
- [53:15]
B
She was supposed to be a little pig.
- [53:17]
A
But it wasn't little, right? Because that's, like, a lot.
- [53:19]
B
It wasn't little, and I didn't eat pork. And then she attacked me. And then I was like, it.
- [53:24]
A
What do you mean when she attacked you?
- [53:25]
B
She literally, like, we had a standoff in a field, and she took me down multiple times.
- [53:32]
A
Is this in LA or did you have.
- [53:33]
B
No, this was at a farm in Canada. And I was with my. And she was in love with him. It's a whole story. It's a real saga.
- [53:44]
A
That's wild.
- [53:44]
B
Sorry you didn't bring this up earlier.
- [53:46]
A
That's very funny. Wait, so your pig liked your partner more and then would just constantly attack you?
- [53:53]
B
Hated me. Hated. Couldn't go near her. She would attack me.
- [53:59]
A
And how big was she?
- [54:01]
B
She was like, yay. She was like, the size of, like. Trying to think how to describe this. She was like a medium large pig.
- [54:10]
A
Okay. Were there other animals on the farm?
- [54:13]
B
She was like the. What's the footstool in Belle and the Beast, if you will.
- [54:18]
A
Oh, I don't know the footstool's name.
- [54:19]
B
Me either. But, you know.
- [54:20]
A
Yeah. Were there other animals there? Did they all hate you?
- [54:24]
B
No, just Petunia.
- [54:26]
A
Is Petunia still with us?
- [54:28]
B
No, she was delicious. I'm just kidding.
- [54:33]
A
I'm just kidding. I did. That would be so wild to savage.
- [54:38]
B
No, I did not eat her.
- [54:39]
A
Oh, I love that. Anyway, if you like this episode of why won't you date me? You can give me five stars. You can rate it, you can like it, you can subscribe. If you write me something nasty hitting on me to why won't you date me? PodcastMail.com I will read it. Please keep your messages just a little shorter. Okay, this person said, I heard you like sucking dick. Unfortunately, now I don't have one. But you could totally go down on my strap on. And while you're sucking on that silicone, I'll be inviting Steve Harvey to watch. How do you have his contact info? We can have a threesome, not use protection, and then get pregnant with Steve Harvey's mini clones. You'll cry to me saying you're stressed about being a single mom. But don't worry, Nicole. I know how to make you relax. Winky face. Then I'll take you to the bedroom and eat out your pussy. Once again, much love. With much love your friend with benefits. Well, that one was wild. Goodbye.
- [55:34]
B
My God.
- [55:36]
A
Oh, you've been listening to why won't you date me with me? Nicole Byer. This show is produced and edited by Mars with executive producer Anya Kanefskaya. It's engineered by Casey Donahue with guest research by Lindsay Kempf. Our VP of content at Headgum is K. Katie Moose. And our thief music is arranged by Mike Comate. Ah, thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. See you then. Okay, bye.
- [56:06]
B
Bye.
- [56:09]
A
That was a hit.
- [56:10]
B
Gum Podcast.
- [56:11]
A
I'm Tig Notaro. I'm Mae Martin. And I'm Fortune Feimster. And together we're Handsome. What is handsome? Well, it's a state of mind.
- [56:20]
B
Mind?
- [56:20]
A
It's how you feel. It's whatever you want it to be. Handsome is also a podcast hosted by us three standup comedians you may have seen on your tv. We swap stories, share life updates, and occasionally laugh until we cry. Every episode, we answer a question from a celebrity friend.
- [56:38]
B
People like Sarah Silverman. It's Stephen Colbert. It's Reese Witherspoon. My name is Mindy Kaling.
- [56:43]
A
Hello, Handsome Podcast. It's Jen Aniston here. You're cool watches W. So if you're looking for a positive, joyful show guaranteed to make you giggle, check out Handsome.
- [56:53]
B
Jump right in with whatever episode tickles your fancy. Or start from the very first episode.
- [56:59]
A
Listen to Handsome on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. And don't forget, keep it Handsome.