Being a Dom (w/ Sapphira Cristál)

Summary

Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: Spanking (w/ Sapphira Cristál)
Release Date: March 6, 2026
Guest: Sapphira Cristál (Opera singer, Drag queen, RuPaul’s Drag Race S16 runner-up)

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Episode Overview

In this candid and laugh-out-loud episode, Nicole Byer welcomes opera singer, 16-time pageant crown winner, and drag superstar Sapphira Cristál for a deeply honest and outrageously funny conversation about love, dating, kink, identity, drag, and embracing your true self. The episode delves into Sapphira’s romantic and sexual adventures, the nuances of open relationships, drag race fame, queerness, kink, and self-acceptance—all punctuated by both guests’ signature humor and warmth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Drag Race, DMs, and Fame

• Nicole immediately celebrates Sapphira’s Drag Race achievement, echoing her belief that Sapphira was the "real winner" ([04:19]–[05:13]).
• Sapphira discusses life after the show, noting that while her DMs were flooded, it was mostly with inspirational messages, not booty calls:
  • “No, I was filled up with people being inspired by me. And I was like, where is the ass?” – Sapphira ([06:38])
• Sapphira opens up about fans, saying she has “definitely fucked a fan or two…or seven…12…65…I lost count” ([07:43]).

2. Approach to Dating, Turn-ons & Relationships

• Physical attraction: Sapphira is drawn to "a fat ass," and recounted how quickly her priorities shift with a good view ([08:13]).
• Relationship details: Sapphira is in a polyamorous/open relationship with a trans masc partner ([08:33]–[09:03]), whom she met through Instagram:
  • “One thing about me: I’m not subtle.” ([09:47])
• “Subtlety gets you nothing.” – Sapphira ([09:59])
• Nicole and Sapphira agree on the importance of giving each other space, especially when traveling together ([11:44]–[12:28]).

3. Open Relationship Dynamics

• The ground rules for openness are simple and based on communication:
  • “We just let each other know…‘Hey, this is gonna happen.’” ([14:42])
• Toy separation! Each partner has their own set of toys—a sign of both intimacy and respect ([14:58]).
• Sapphira details her “extensive” sex toy collection: “It's about as tall as I am.” ([15:30])

4. Kink, Impact Play & Sexual Preferences

• Sapphira is open about her love for impact play (“spanking”):
  • “I am a dom of sorts. And I do like impact play and I’m good at it.” ([16:08])
  • She breaks down kink terminology, explaining spanking, paddles, caning, and the idea of “warming up” a partner ([16:40]–[18:07]).
• Nicole shares her preferences: “I like being spanked…hard to a point, but then you gotta go a little softer because if you go too hard, then my booty gets a little raw and it hurts.” ([16:54]–[17:10])
• Explicit and humorous stories about performance art and sexual experimentation are shared ([17:10]–[18:21]).

5. Hook-up Stories & Sexual Openness

• Sapphira recounts wild hookups, including:
  • Oral sex in a club’s coat room, leading to a song written in her honor ([23:17]–[24:50])
  • Oral skills praised: “If this town knew what your tongue could do, you’d be on the top of the food chain here.” ([26:22])
• Pansexuality: Sapphira identifies as pansexual—a realization that came as the term became common ([27:26]):
  • “I've pretty much always been pansexual. I like decided I was gay for a little bit and that was too limiting.”

6. Kink Level, Sexual Boundaries & Education

• Sapphira self-rates as a “seven” on a kink scale; “no poop, no blood” ([29:13]) for personal preference, but is not judgmental towards others:
  • “Not to yuck someone's yum, but…that's nice.” – Nicole ([29:19])
• Surprising story: Sapphira once fisted a (self-identified) straight man, then had penetrative sex and was surprised at his tightness ([30:18]–[30:58]).
• Differences between bisexuality and pansexuality are discussed, with Sapphira highlighting inclusivity in pansexuality ([31:28]–[31:40]).

7. Anal Sex Prep & The ‘Imodium’ Trick

• Sapphira offers a detailed, humorous, and practical primer on “douching” and prepping for anal sex ([32:49]–[36:38]):
  • “Think about what you ate 12 hours ago and go from there. People…take a lot of fiber...Some gays perfected Imodium.” – Sapphira ([33:06]–[34:32])
  • Nicole learns how Imodium is used in the LGBTQ community to prevent accidents during anal sex: “Have you just been going at it all willy nilly?...Call her Picasso, cause she’s a painter, honey!” – Sapphira ([35:06])
  • They joke about big asses and the logistics of sex, “If you have a long limousine, then you can get into this garage…there are people who are like, ‘Oh, Oh. I was like, are you in yet?’” ([36:38]–[37:11])

8. Drag, Upbringing & Artistic Identity

• Sapphira’s love for drag began with Halloween costumes made by her father and a devotion to diva opera singers ([40:14]–[41:31]), including portraying Leontyne Price.
• Discussion of opera history, icons, and Sapphira’s early music education, including attending the High School for the Performing Arts (same as Beyoncé), and singing in church ([45:23]–[49:02]).
• The role of whimsy and childhood joy in adulthood is celebrated, especially in parenting and self-expression ([46:57]–[48:24]).

9. Body Image, Trends, and Acceptance

• The episode addresses body trends, especially the shift away from the “heroin chic” of the ’90s/early 2000s toward embracing thickness ([50:00]–[51:43]).
  • “I think people are embracing thickness…just let yourself do what it’s just gonna do.” – Sapphira ([50:23])
• Sapphira shares relatable experiences with fans commenting on her body and sets a boundary: “Stop talking, start eating. Why are we talking about how thick I've gotten? You’re not my therapist, nor my nutritionist.” ([51:31])

10. Advice for Single People & Friendship

• Sapphira’s parting advice: “Stay single. Enjoy your friends. Cultivate those relationships and go on vacation together with your friends.” ([51:56])
• Nicole echoes this call for community and “fellowship,” stressing the value of non-romantic love ([52:33]).
• “Those people…build you for that person. If you ever get that person. And if you don’t, good for you.” – Sapphira ([52:49]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Drag Race Fame:
  • “Where is the ass? …I want to see bodies. I want to see how you feel.” – Sapphira ([06:38]–[07:19])
• On Openness in Love:
  • “Subtlety gets you nothing.” – Sapphira ([09:59])
• Impact Play Defined:
  • “Impact play is like spanking…but sometimes you take a cane and you like go around the whole bone.” – Sapphira ([16:20])
• Kinky Logistics:
  • “Call her Picasso. Cause she’s a painter, honey.” – Sapphira, on anal accidents ([35:06])
• On Queerness:
  • “I think most people are pansexual, actually.” – Sapphira ([31:26])
• Sexual Talent/Skills:
  • “If this town knew what your tongue could do, you’d be on the top of the food chain here.” – P-Town Drag Queen to Sapphira ([26:22])
• On Living with Whimsy:
  • “I think people grow out of their whimsy and I think that’s sad.” – Sapphira ([47:07])
• Advice for Listeners:
  • “Enjoy your friends…You have people in your life that are very important to you that love you and really cultivate those relationships…If you ever get that person [romantic], and if you don’t, good for you.” ([51:56]–[52:49])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro and Sapphira’s Drag Race experience: [04:19]–[06:32]
• Open relationships and meeting her partner: [08:33]–[11:44]
• Impact play and kink education: [15:58]–[18:21]
• Wildest hookup stories: [23:17]–[26:22]
• Douching & Imodium prep: [32:49]–[37:11]
• Discussion on drag, music, and identity: [40:14]–[46:16]
• Body trends & self-acceptance: [50:00]–[51:43]
• Friendship advice: [51:56]–[53:29]
• Would you date me? segment: [56:35]–[56:46]

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Promotion & Plugs

• Sapphira’s Tour: “One Slew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” ([54:00])
• Podcast: “Sapphira”
• Music: Album The Cristál Ball (streaming platforms), and “Omil Baba Nakaro” with Katya ([59:25]–[59:43])
• Socials: @SapphiraCristál everywhere ([59:10])

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Tone and Language

Nicole and Sapphira keep the conversation lively, raw, and uproariously funny, frequently trading jokes, analogies (“limousine in the garage”), and playful ribbing. The openness about sex, queerness, and kink is frank yet always underpinned by a spirit of education, acceptance, and self-love. The vibe is inclusive, sex-positive, and community-oriented.

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A rich, uproarious, and affirming episode that’s as educational as it is entertaining—perfect for anyone seeking honest insights into queer love, kink, and the radical power of friendship.

Transcript

[A]

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.

[B]

This is a headgum podcast. I'm not a bottom. I am a top who bottoms occasionally. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so occasionally I'll be like, I got the itch. I think I want to do it. Or I'll see someone and be like, you're sexy. And they're like, I'm a top. And I was like, well that's not going to stop us from having sex, I'll tell you that. We'll figure this out. Cause one thing I am doing, I'm dragging a wagon over here so I have a fat ass. And if you have a long limousine, then you can get into this garage. Cause it's gonna take a long limousine to get through this driveway, honey. Cause it is quite a large one.

[A]

Listen, we've all had our brains completely sabotage a good time. Have you ever been on a great date and suddenly you start spiraling, thinking, wait, oh my goodness, what if they're not the one? Do I even actually like them? If those thoughts are constant, distressing and all consuming, you might be dealing with relationship ocd. You see, when most people hear ocd, they picture a neat freak organizing a bookshelf, but can actually latch onto anything we care about, especially our love lives. Relationship OCD creates a never ending loop of doubt and anxiety, making you constantly analyze your interactions and repeatedly check your feelings to make sure you love your partner enough. It can be debilitating, but it's highly treatable. OCD needs a specialized therapy called erp Exposure and Response Prevention. And that's exactly where no CD comes in. In live virtual sessions, your NOCD therapist will teach you how to take the power away from intrusive thoughts so you can actually start enjoying your relationships. Plus, therapy with no CD is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans. And they provide support between sessions so you're never alone. So if you think you might be struggling with relationship O C D, don't wait. Visit nocd.com to book a free call with their team. That's n o c d.com I'm a big believer in looking out for one another, especially when it comes to our health. We all deserve to have a say in our own futures, but right now, that freedom is under attack. Planned Parenthood Federation of America is on the front lines making sure sexual and reproductive health care stays accessible for everyone, no matter what. Whether you need STI testing and treatment, birth control, gender affirming care, abortion or sex education. Planned Parenthood is here for you and for all of us, honestly. But right now, lawmakers and opponents of abortion access are preventing people from getting essential care. They're trying to deny people birth control and promoting abstinence only until marriage programs, which, to be real, is just like, ew, God. It's like 2026. We are so past that. They quite literally want to control our bodies and our decisions, like we're little puppets. Right now. Millions of people could lose access to care, especially black and Latino people, people in rural areas and people with low incomes. Planned Parenthood believes health care is a human right, that everyone deserves. Supporters like you power this work. Donate to support Planned Parenthood now@planned parenthood.org defend. Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Ooh, baby. Welcome to another episode of why Won't yout Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on the floor and tell me it was a wire. My guest today is an opera singer, a 16 pageant crown winner. Wait, a 16 time pageant crown winner? Yes. 16 times. That's so wild and fun. And a drag queen, you know, as Miss Congeniality. And the runner up, and my true winner. I shouldn't say that. That's not nice. To the winner.

[B]

See what you gotta say.

[A]

I don't know. You were my favorite. RuPaul's Drag Race Season 16. She's currently traveling the country in her new stand up comedy tour, One Slew over the Cuckoo's Nest. Do you see what she did? Plus, she's hosting a new podcast, Sapphira, where she's having intimate heart to hearts with her closest friends and fellow icons. And I'm so excited she's here. It's Sapphira Cristel. Yeah. Sapphira. Sapphira. Sapphira. Sapphira.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

Why did it stop?

[A]

Sapphira. Sapphira. Sapphira. Thank you so much for being here, truly. I felt really bad. I was like, oh, you are my winner. I. It's funny that I was like, I feel bad, but I'm a double down. I thought you were so fun and effortless and vivacious on your season.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And then I love that Ru called you slue foot. Really got me good. I love when Rue loves somebody. It's like watching Family Feud, and you're like, I think Steve Harvey likes this family better.

[B]

He's having A. Yeah, you're having more fun with this one.

[A]

And I felt like Rue was having so much fun with you.

[B]

Yeah, I really did like Rue. And do like Rue. It's not like she's gone.

[A]

I did like Rue. Oh, I liked it.

[B]

But then she gave the wedding to someone else, so now I have a little. No, actually, I really do enjoy Rue. I like every time I see her, she's very, very lovely. And she remembers me, you know what I mean?

[A]

Cause you didn't win.

[B]

She's like you. She goes, slow foot, just like everybody else does.

[A]

Now, wait, does everyone do that?

[B]

Everyone, Look, I was walking on the streets of Philadelphia in Fishtown, and this guy, and I don't know what he was doing. He wasn't a fishmonger, but I think he was, like, just, like, putting up siding on a wall. I don't know what people do.

[A]

Me either.

[B]

I don't know what John, he was at a brick wall and there was some scaffolding, and he just looks down and he goes, slew it. And I was like, yep. He wasn't just, you know, seeing that I was slu. But he was saying he knew. He was like, it's.

[A]

He knew the reference.

[B]

You are the slu.

[A]

You are the slu. That's so funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

After you got on Drag race, did your DMs, like, fill up with people trying to get at you?

[B]

No, I was filled up with people being inspired by me. And I was like, where is the ass? Where is the D? Ain't nobody trying to. Cause my best friend is Honey Davenport, and her DMs definitely filled up with people just trying to get really. The whole time. And I was like, ooh, I can't wait. I can't wait. Nothing. I mean, something. I'm not gonna say me. Inspiring people and people, like, loving me. That was great. And I do love it when y' all DM me that, but that, you

[A]

know, but you wanna see some dicks and booty holes.

[B]

Yeah. And.

[A]

And pussies.

[B]

And pussies. And titties.

[A]

And titties.

[B]

I want to see bodies. I want to see how you feel. Like, I want to see how you see how you feel. You know what I mean?

[A]

I do. I do know what you mean.

[B]

And the people were like, oh, Sapphira is such trade. And Sapphira is so good looking. You didn't. Prove it.

[A]

Prove it. Show it to her. Send her them nudes.

[B]

Yeah, they didn't come out. I was very disappointed.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

I've Definitely fucked a fan or two or seven. 12. 65.

[A]

65.

[B]

I lost count, honestly.

[A]

And is there anything that's like a turnoff when a fan is coming at you or are you just like, you're just down?

[B]

I'm not always just down. You know, I have to be in the mood. I have to not be super tired. A fat ass is great. Like, if someone comes out and they're like, hey. Then they turn around, I'm like, hey, come here, come back here, come back here.

[A]

That's funny to be like, okay, goodbye. Ooh, wait, wait a second, I see something. You buried the lead.

[B]

You should have walked in backwards.

[A]

I would love for someone to walk in backwards to be like, just trying to give you a little taste. And it's like, okay, I think I like it.

[B]

I think I like it. I have. I tend to like people who are queer in some way and so not just gay, but like, you know, trans. My partner is trans masc. I tend to have a lot of trans masc partners.

[A]

Are you guys open?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How did you meet your partner on Instagram? Okay. They slid into your DMs, kind of.

[B]

So this is a fun story. Amanda, Tory meeting, had apparently met him in south when she went to north or South Carolina and he got a shirt of hers and he was wearing her shirt to the gym and he had tagged her and she shared it. And I saw him and was like, ooh, yummy. Who is that? And so I clicked on his profile and then liked all of his posts. And then he messaged me, I would wear you on a T shirt to the gym any day. And I'd say, I'd wear you any day. And that's how it started.

[A]

You know, who says romance is dead?

[B]

One thing about me, I'm not subtle.

[A]

No, you really aren't.

[B]

I'm on the spectrum.

[A]

I'm not subtle. I'm on the spectrum.

[B]

Subtlety gets you nothing.

[A]

Honestly, it really doesn't. You know, I love that. I love that you like all of his pictures because that, like, there is no question. Yeah. Sapphira likes what she's seeing.

[B]

Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute. And then he was like, oh. And so he messaged me.

[A]

And how many years has it been? Or months or.

[B]

It's about over a year now since we first started talking. We've been dating officially.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

It'll be a year in.

[A]

I heard it. Girl, do you need a snack?

[B]

My stomach wanted to. My stomach was like, girl, you tell me. Hello. Y' all been Together. No one asked you to come into this conversation. Thank you. We've been dating, I think since July or June. I think it's June, so it'll be a full year of dating. Dating in June. But we had our pre date stuff. We went to North Carolina for a week.

[A]

Before you were officially dating?

[B]

Yeah, it was kind of like, my mom has this test and she didn't even tell me this. I just figured, like, if I like someone, let's go on vacation together. Let's see how we are together alone in the same place. And it was magic. I don't like being bothered by a lot of people. I don't like it when my partner's all up under me all the goddamn time. Like, we have some time for that, but for the most part, you do your thing, I'm gonna do my thing, and then we'll come together and do our things. And I was writing music and he was writing a book.

[A]

I like that. My. The nice man in my life. We went. We went on a. Like, I was working and he went to school where I was working in D.C. so I was like, do you want to come and, like, hang out with your friends and stuff while I'm working? He was like, sure. And that was like, maybe a month, no, maybe three months into our relationship. And then I was like, oh, my goodness, I've never traveled with a partner. That seems crazy. But then it was so easy. Like, he did his thing. He woke up in the morning, he would, like, go for a walk and get coffee and let me sleep and bring me back coffee. And then I'd go work and he'd go do shit. And I was like, ooh, this is like, so easy in a way that I never imagined. Yeah, but I do love that. Like, do your own thing and then you, like, come together when you want to.

[B]

Yeah. And I liked the fact that, like, we were able to know, okay, this is sort of like a couple of days of us being together. After, like, the first two days, you know, we're going to drop that facade of, like, you know, you're gonna really get to know this person a little bit more. And I just really enjoyed him. And so we would just talk. And then I had a gig that was close to South Carolina again. And so I went down there and he came up and he did. It was like a twink pageant for meatball. Actually. I was like, you're a twink. Why don't you enter it?

[A]

That sentence is really funny if you don't know the drag world. It was a twink page for meatball. Well, all right. I don't know what that is.

[B]

I'm gonna get it. Do I get a meatball if I win? Yeah.

[A]

What happens? That's so funny. So wait, he was in the twink pageant?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did he win?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, the person who won literally made everything they wore. They, like, crocheted every single outfit they wore. And I was like, girl. And he did really well. He placed third.

[A]

Okay, that's great. I love that.

[B]

And it was okay because I was gonna fuck him nighter. So I was like, well, we don't wanna.

[A]

You're getting fucked either way. So it doesn't matter if you win or you lose, because you win in the end.

[B]

Because at the end you get all this dick.

[A]

Now, is it open just on your side or is it open on his side too?

[B]

It's open on his side if he wants to. He doesn't tend to want to, but like, if he wants to, he always has the option.

[A]

And are there rules in your open relationship or no?

[B]

Yeah. What are they?

[A]

You don't have to share if you don't want to. Because there was a great big pause and I can read a room.

[B]

I know so many people who can't.

[A]

You don't have to get into it. Don't worry.

[B]

Well, I'm trying to think of what they are.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

It's been a cold winter, so we haven't really been practicing. So I.

[A]

We haven't been practicing.

[B]

You know, I'm a non practicing poly right now, but I still am polyamorous. We just let each other know.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

You know, hey, this is gonna happen. Or hey, this might happen. Hey, while I'm gone, these things might happen. And he was so nice this time. He was like, hey, do you want to take toys? Cause I have my him toys and I have my other people toys.

[A]

I like that. I like that separation because it's like, make me feel special.

[B]

Yeah. He has his own toys and I have toys that I use on other people. And so he was like, do you want to take some toys for other people? Cause he's just rearranged all of our toys. M an extensive collection.

[A]

And when you say extensive, is it like in like big Tupperware bins? Like, what is it stored in?

[B]

In big Tupperware bins would mean that they're not separated. So they're all. Everything's separated into its own category. Oh, we have like. I think the thing is about. It's about as tall as I am.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There's different cubbies, and each cubby has like a different thing on the bottom.

[A]

Are they labeled?

[B]

They're not labeled, but you just know. You just open it and you can see them. They're like. It's not like. It's not like the Library of Congress or anything over here.

[A]

It's like. It's about a couple. It's like five different things.

[B]

No, no, no. I mean, in each cubby, it's probably like five to ten different things.

[A]

Ah. Oh, okay.

[B]

Depending on what.

[A]

And what's your favorite toy?

[B]

My favorite. It depends on my mood. I even have like, paddles and stuff. Cause I, you know, I am a dom of sorts.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

And I do like impact play and I'm good at it.

[A]

Wait, what's impact play? Impact like being hit?

[B]

Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna let you figure that one out.

[A]

Well, I didn't. I didn't know it was called impact play.

[B]

Impact play is like spanking is what we say, you know, but like, impact play is the all encompassing. So you spank with your hand with a paddle, with. Sometimes it's not even just spanking because spanking is like here or that. But sometimes you take a cane and you like go around the whole bone.

[A]

And that's called caning.

[B]

It's called caning, which is under the umbrella of impact play. Get it, girl?

[A]

She's learning and she's retaining. Yes, I. I guess I like impact play. Cause I like being spanked.

[B]

Yeah. What kind of spanking?

[A]

I like a little bit of a hand.

[B]

Do you like a, like a lot of spanking?

[A]

I like it hard to a point. Like, I like it hard, but then you gotta go a little softer because if you go too hard, then my booty gets a little raw and it hurts.

[B]

Well, that's. Yes.

[A]

Well, I don't wanna hurt hurt.

[B]

So I used to do. I had a number with my ex fiance and it was my Cruella de Vil number. And he has. He's covered in tattoos and I just put like a little dalmatian ears on him and so it looked like he looked like a Dalmatian. And I would spank him and I would spank, spank him. I would start with like a small thing, and then at the end I would get like my bigger paddles and I would spank him harder. And you would watch his ass turn from lily white as he was to red to red to purple to blue. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, my goodness.

[B]

And so he would a color changing dalmatian yeah, you know, but like, you know, one of the fun things is for me, it's like spanking someone's bum until they're like nice and red and then spanking them with my hip thrusters because you understand.

[A]

Yeah, I did. It took me a hot second spanking, then pounding. Yes.

[B]

And they like it because it's already warm and it's warmed up.

[A]

If you're looking for your next great listen, this one comes from visionary creator Kenya Barris, the mind behind black ish called Big Age. And it is a hilarious, heartwarming audible original comedy about love, aging and finding your way in life's next chapter. The cast alone is enough to is enough reason to listen. Big Age stars absolute comedy legends Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer and Niecy Nash Betts. The story follows a recently retired couple, Dot and Butch Watts. They make a reluctant relocation to their new Floridian home, Sunset Gardens. Now, you might expect a senior community to be quiet, but this place is anything but relaxing. Embarrasses world Dot and Butch encounter a parade of unforgettable personalities who push their 50 year marriage to the limit. They're dealing with spiritually possessed neighbors, pesky pill pushing couples and a ferociously competitive character known as the Stevenator. Plus there's plenty of drama like Butch's flirtatious ex flame Ethel, played by Niecy Nash Betts. Through a blend of outrageous comedy and touching revelations, Big Age explores what it means to grow older without growing old at heart. Listen to Kenya Barris's new laugh out loud audible original comedy Big Age. Big Age Age does funny things. Go to audible.com big age series to start listening today. You know the exact second your day officially gets good. It's when you walk through your front door and immediately switch into full on cozy mode. I've realized that if you want your home to feel like an actual sanctuary, you have to upgrade your basics. That is exactly why Cozy Earth has been amazing. They make your everyday routines feel like a luxury little treat. Like try and upgrade to their essential socks. A good sock changes everything. These are so soft, breathable and cushioned with four styles, kfc, quarter ankle and no show. Then at night collapse into bed with the Cozy Earth comforter. Oh my goodness. It genuinely feels like I'm sleeping on a cloud without any heaviness or overheating. Try them out with their 100 night sleep trial. Returns are easy, but trust me, you won't let them go. Plus there's a 10 year warranty. Discover how care in every detail transforms simple routines. Into moments of true comfort and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code. Date me for up to 20% off and if you get a post purchase survey, be sure to mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here. Experience the craft behind the comfort and make every day feel intentional. Who nothing hits like home cooking and hello Fresh makes it easy to do more of that this year with recipes that feel good and taste delicious night after night. By the time I get home, I do not want to stress over dinner. Hello Fresh brings it all together with simple rewarding meals for a busy weeknight. I just treated myself to their new grass fed steak ribeyes and oh my God, it was amazing. Plus they use amazing seasonal produce like asparagus, apples and pears which was such a tasty combo. You get over 100 weekly recipes from around the world to beat those winter blues. Plus they now come with bigger portions to satisfy everyone. They also have over 35 high protein options including new Mediterranean and GLP1 friendly meals using 100% antibiotic and hormone free chicken. Go to hellofresh.com dateme10f m to get 10 free meals plus a free zwilling knife, a $144.99 value on your third box offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. Have you ever hooked up with anybody in drag?

[B]

Oh, what were you thinking? I was talking about are you in

[A]

drag when you're hooking up?

[B]

I'm in drag right now, aren't I?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, hey, bab. I have had some. I've had. I'm gorgeous.

[A]

You are. You're stunning.

[B]

I am stunning and I know it. And guess what? Guess who else knows it?

[A]

The trade.

[B]

The trade. And the trade is the trade that some people be like, oh, oh my God, this guy is so beautiful. That guy was railed in my bedroom. Railed bent over so he could look back at all this. You understand what I'm saying?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I love that for you.

[B]

I love that for me. I love that for them.

[A]

What's the wildest hookup you've had?

[B]

Wild. How?

[A]

Oh, I don't know.

[B]

Well, it depends. So like one time I had this hookup. Y' all are gonna get some stories. One time I had this hookup. It was way back, back, back, back, back in the day. Oh, I've told this story before. He'll be fine. And we used to have this show called Ooh, Pumps. It was a night for the girls yes. So I thought there was, you know, there was this missing night. We needed a night for our trans sisters and siblings to be able to go out and have a good time. Everyone else was being taken care of, but not them. And so I created this night and we had all basically a bunch of chasers who would come down. And then we had like a direct femme presenting bartender. The person who was the bouncer was also. Everyone was trans. And this cute guy from Berkeley, because I was in Boston, came in and I was like, ooh, he's cute. And everyone was like, oh yeah. I was like, he's mine. And I took him out back out into the coat shack.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

Gave him a blowjob. And then once he was done, I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, you're not done. And then he wrote a song about me that's fun. Yeah, it's called Sapphira. You can look it up.

[A]

That's funny because a lot of songs are like, it's like imagery or metaphors and it's like, no, no, this is just about you and it named after you.

[B]

It's about. Actually, it says, there's a line and it says, she'll take you to heaven in a bathroom stall. She'll bring you up and drop you down to your knees. I mean, he wrote the song. I was like, this is such a cute song. But the funny thing about it is these are all things that actually happened.

[A]

I want to give a blowjob so transcendent that the person is like, I gotta write a song about it. I gotta let the people know that that mouth is. Does wonders, baby.

[B]

This mouth is magic. I've heard it so many times. I remember, okay, I can't say who, but one time I was hooking up in. This wasn't in drag in Provincetown. And it was with a fellow drag queen, though. And they're very well known in Provincetown. And I think I was eating their ass. And they said, you know, your tongue is so good. And they were older than me, quite a bit older than me. And they said your tongue was. If this town knew what your tongue could do, you'd be on the top of the food chain here. And I was like, I don't even know what that means or how to make it actually happen, because I'm the kind of person you say that like, I have a talent. I'm gonna make a check. I go, I'm gonna figure out how to do that. But for some reason, that is such

[A]

a funny thing to say. While you're hooking up. You'd be on the top of this town if they knew what this tongue could do. Maybe it's cause you sing.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. I mean, I do. So I later on found out that my very fast vibrato is not even vibrato, it's tongue tension. So I have this.

[A]

See, I was right.

[B]

That's what my tongue does. It's tongue tension. So like I have to slow it down or I have to try and get my tongue out of the way to sing properly. But because I have been eating people out for so long. Stop that.

[A]

Your phone was like. Your phone was like. Me too, me too. I'm there, I'm there with.

[B]

I've been there the whole time.

[A]

But yeah, so you've been eating ass for so long?

[B]

Not just ass, honey. I'm pansexual.

[A]

Yes. And you found that or you've always just been pansexual?

[B]

I've actually always been pansexual. I realized what that was later on in life because then, because we. It became a more widely known term. You know what I mean? But I've pretty much always been pansexual. I like decided I was gay for a little bit and that was too

[A]

limiting because you were dating somebody, you were in the closet, you were dating somebody, they were out, and then you decided to come out to support.

[B]

How do you know the story?

[A]

It's my research. My assistant Lindsey is very good at things.

[B]

Oh wow.

[A]

And I love just being able to drop it because people are like, wait, what? How?

[B]

That's deep. Yeah, I was dating someone who was out and then I decided that I would, you know, come out and then they were like, then they started acting weird and I was like, dude, what's up then?

[A]

Did you break up?

[B]

No, we just kept fucking.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

We're in high school.

[A]

I. I love that you've been pansexual. Like I don't know. Yeah, it feels like you've had.

[B]

No, I've been, I've been very sexually active for a very long time and I have literally been eating ass and eaten pussy since I was like six years old.

[A]

Six?

[B]

Yeah, just you know, like, you know, kids experimenting and doing all kind of stuff. Yeah.

[A]

I was playing with an Easy bake oven at 6.

[B]

I was playing with somebody's Easy Bake Oven, honey. We didn't have many. We didn't. I wasn't, I wasn't raised in the burbs, honey. We had very few things to play with.

[A]

I wasn't raised. No, I was in the suburbs, and I said, ooh, let me bake easy. Bake ovens are insane. Anyway, so how kinky are you on a scale of 1 to 10? And what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?

[B]

Probably a seven.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm no poop.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No blood.

[A]

Okay. Honestly, I. Not to yuck someone's yum, but, like, I think that's. That's nice.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, like, I'm not. Like, I don't think that you can't do it on your own time with someone else.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And then come and do other things with me. I think, you know, after you've taken a shower, you've done your own thing, go off. But for me, I have a very, very sensitive sense of smell, and it's hypersensitive. So, no, I just.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

And then blood is just too much.

[A]

Blood is a little too much for me. It's especially a lot of blood.

[B]

Like, if I, like, spank you to the point that you're bleeding, that's fine. But, like, if I'm not cutting someone, you know what I mean? And I'm not even trying to spank someone to the point they're bleeding. It's just, like, if it happens, sometimes people have sensitive skin, yada, blah, blah. But yeah, I don't think I'm terribly. Let's see the freak. The kinkiest. We're gonna kill kinky. Cause we don't like to shame, honey.

[A]

Kinkiest.

[B]

I fisted one time. I was fisting this guy.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

And these are real stories, by the way. And I was fisting this guy and. Straight guy. Interesting enough. And to him, he said he was straight. So I'm just gonna.

[A]

We'll honor him.

[B]

Honor his identity of choice. And so I have my fist, like, in him, and I'm, like, doing this. And he, like, comes because I'm like, just, like, rotating my fist. And then I fucked him. And it was the tightest ass I'd ever fucked. It was tighter than, like, any ass I'd fucked. And he was like, right? And I was like, this is crazy.

[A]

That's funny. He was like, I'm about to do a magic trick, and she not gonna know till it's done. She gonna fist me and then fuck me and then be so surprised at how tight it is. Yeah, that is so funny. He was already preparing, and, well, we're honoring that. He's straight, but that, to me, is not a straight man. If he knows the trick, he could do.

[B]

Well, I Mean, if he doesn't want a woman as well.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

I think he's a bisexual man who

[A]

just says he's straight. I think so, too. I think most people are bisexual.

[B]

I think most people are pansexual, actually.

[A]

What's the difference between bisexual and pansexual? To me, they're 20, 26.

[B]

I don't know. I don't think.

[A]

Oh, I guess bisexual says there's a binary. There's male, female, pan. Includes everybody.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

See, I answered my own dang question.

[B]

And I'm proud of you.

[A]

I know. Impact play. I often. Not often, but sometimes I'll think about poop play. And I'm like, oh, but why? Why would we ever.

[B]

Every once in a while, I'm like, and this is not something that's ever been done. But every once in a while I'm like, I don't feel like cleaning out, but I do want to get fucked. Is that poop play?

[A]

It's not poop play. It is. Well, if you're gonna play there, you might get some shit on your mouth.

[B]

Occupational hazard.

[A]

There you go. Occupational hazard.

[B]

And I've said that so many times. Cause I've. You know, unfortunately, I think as long

[A]

as you warn people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, I haven't douched. I would love to still have a nice time, but putting that out there.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I have not been warned sometimes. The thing is, sometimes I had sex with, like, straight men who thought that they had done it correctly, but they just didn't have the experience. And then they were like, but I did it. I like. And they still had that last bit that was still left in there.

[A]

Okay, I'll ask. What is. I've never douched my butt. What is the proper way to do it?

[B]

Okay, so you prep in advance. You have to prep from. Depending on when you're doing it. You have to kind of prep from the day before.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So on a Friday, your meal, you're tracked.

[A]

You have to, like, eat nicely.

[B]

Yes, you have to eat nicely. You're tracked is 12 hours. So think about what you ate 12 hours ago and then go from there. You know what I mean? People sometimes help it with fiber. Take a lot of fiber. You drink a lot of fiber, Eat a lot of fiber.

[A]

Mara started typing. Are you taking notes? Yeah.

[B]

How to.

[A]

Yeah, it's for the episode description.

[B]

No, it's just you're like, sure, sure it is.

[A]

I asked, like, how do you do it? And then you start it, and then I just heard Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. And it just really. The timing of it was so funny. Okay, so we're thinking about what we're eating 12 hours beforehand.

[B]

12 hours beforehand. And then you make sure you have a lot of fiber in your system. Kind of always.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You never know when you're gonna want to.

[A]

Because you want everything to be moving.

[B]

You want everything to be moving, and you want it to move solidly. You don't want it to move softly. You want everything to move solidly. Then you start on your thing. You want to kind of do it when you already have to go. So when you go, you go. So that's already a good. The chamber has been emptied.

[A]

And then how many hours before sex should you be emptying the chamber?

[B]

Now, this depends on if you've taken an Imodium AD or not.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because when.

[A]

An Imodium AD will stop you from shitting.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Ah.

[B]

This is a thing that the gays have perfected.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

They're Imodium. So they'll take Imodium before they go out, so they're good for the night.

[A]

I have so many deuce before they leave my life. And nobody has ever told me about this Imodium trick. And I feel. I don't know, left out. I feel.

[B]

Have you just been going at it all willy nilly? You were like, I don't know how to do. I was like, so you don't have anal sex at all?

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

I've only had.

[B]

When you said no one taught me this trick.

[A]

And I was like, no, I'm just shitting on people.

[B]

You just sitting on dicks around here. That's crazy.

[A]

I'm just letting it rip, baby.

[B]

Call her Picasso. Cause she's a painter. Honey,

[A]

I'm making masterpieces.

[B]

Honey, baby, masterpiece. Make him say, we gotta stop the right.

[A]

I haven't thought about masterpiece. Okay, so you take Imodium before going out.

[B]

Yeah. So you take the. So you do the full.

[A]

We empty out.

[B]

So you try to empty out and then you start douching. So you empty out, then you douche. And when you douche. Okay, the first thing, honestly, it's the same as, like, doing a cleanse. Like if you do a liver cleanse or something like that, you know, it's clear. Okay. No, okay, this one's not clear. Okay, we keep going. Not clear. Okay, it's starting to be a little more clear.

[A]

How many times. This is a personal question. How many times do you have to douche before it runs clear?

[B]

Well, it depends on my diet at the time. Ah. I'm not a bottom.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I am a top who bottoms occasionally. You know what I mean? Yes. And so occasionally I'll be like, mm, I got the itch. I think I wanna do it. Or I'll see someone and be like, you're sexy. And they're like, I'm a top. And I was like, well, that's not gonna stop us from having sex, I'll tell you that. We'll figure this out. Cause one thing I am doing, I'm dragging a wagon over here so I have a fat ass. And if you have a long limousine, then you can get into this garage. Cause it's gonna take a long limousine to get through this driveway, honey. Cause it is quite a large one.

[A]

That was one of those analogies where I was like, surely it'll stop. And it just didn't. That was really funny because you don't fail.

[B]

I don't fail, honey.

[A]

You achieve the dream. I'm dying. If you have a long limousine, I got a garage. You could park it all up in this garage. The door is gonna open and that limousine better pull in.

[B]

But it's a long. It's a long. It's a long driveway. Before you get that I'm a fat ass. It is. There are people who are like, oh, oh. I was like, are you in yet? Because when you got a big ass.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know when you got a big ass?

[A]

When you got junk in the trunk and someone's behind you, sometimes they're like, I'm in. And you're like, nope, you're in the beginning.

[B]

Maybe you're through the cheeks, but that's it, honey. You haven't gotten this, bro.

[A]

You gotta go into a little bit further.

[B]

Push, push, push. Breathe. Push, push.

[A]

Get in there.

[B]

That's why I just sit on them. You know what I mean? I'll let gravity take over.

[A]

I mean, that's the easiest way to do it. It's love. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. We talk about Squarespace a lot on this show. And that is because it is truly the best platform for building a website. If you're a creative person like me, maybe you do comedy or you host a podcast or you want to book consultations online. You need a home base for your work. Listen, okay, I am not a tech person, but with Squarespace's cutting edge design tools, you do not need any experience to build a professional website. They have these gorgeous award winning website templates and intuitive drag and drop editing. Plus they have an amazing tool called Blueprint where you can answer a few questions and it will instantly customize a personalized website just for you. Squarespace is also perfect if you want to actually monetize your work. You can gate your exclusive videos behind a paywall, sell your merch, or let people book you for gigs. Squarespace handles the payments right there on the site so you don't have to stress about logistics. You could just focus on being a creative talent. Head to squarespace.com date me for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code date me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You guys, it's March. That means we are celebrating International Women's Day and taking a moment to recognize everything women carry. Oh, we juggle so much at work, in our relationships and in our families. Honestly, I want you to take a pause right now and think about the expectations placed on you every single day. The pressure to play a million different roles is honestly, it's just wild. Between caring for others and managing unseen responsibilities, it is so easy to let our own emotional well being get overlooked. But you don't have to carry it all yourself. Therapy offers a dedicated space to help you create balance, set healthy boundaries and truly support your well being. Better help makes finding that support easy by doing the initial matching work for you. Just take a short questionnaire and they match you with a fully licensed therapist in the us. Not happy with your match? You can switch to a different therapist at any time from tailored recommendations. Honestly, that's very, very important because it's kind of like data. You have to find who is your match. Your emotional well being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up to get 10% [e-mail] date me. That's betterhelp.com dateme how did you get into drag?

[B]

I. How did I get into drag? I've actually been into drag for a very long time. I love like just wearing costumes and stuff. I feel like, you know, Halloween is a form of drag for everyone. Yes, I did a lot of that. My dad used to make my costumes when I was a kid and so I was Goro or I was the genie. I was and there is just something about becoming another person. So I watched too Wong Fu when I was a kid and you know when you used to have to go and rent the VHS's and so we kept it extra long cause I went to watch it over and over and over again. I don't Know how my parents didn't realize this was on the horizon, but when I was in high school, I first did drag because I wanted to be Leontine Price for.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She's a very famous opera singer. She just turned 99, like, a couple days ago. She just turned 99 in February. She was just such a diva to me. And I was like, I want to be her for Halloween. So that was my senior year in high school. My freshman year in college, I was linking team Price again, because these people didn't see me what I did last year, so might as well.

[A]

That's actually very, very funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just be like, they didn't see it. I'm gonna be the same person. It doesn't matter. These are different people.

[B]

But I went to the Eastman School of Music, so it actually landed.

[A]

It landed much better. You didn't have to explain it to everybody.

[B]

I didn't have to explain it to everybody. Why, in high school, everyone was like, whitney Houston, Alfre Woodard.

[A]

I was like, I'm gagged.

[B]

That's so funny, because this was at the time during. What was it called? Desperate Housewives, when Osprey Woodard was on

[A]

Desperate Housewives in the basement.

[B]

Yes. And so people kept calling me Alfre Woodard or Whitney Houston, and no one knew who leann T. Price was, except for the people in my department. Vocal department. She's notably the greatest soprano in all of the. The 20th century.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Arguably. Yeah.

[A]

Maria Callas. What does she sing?

[B]

Also a soprano.

[A]

Oh, but she's not. So she's not as good as the other one.

[B]

She's white. Oh. But she is great.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, Maria was very, very, very great, actually. Maria Callas was very pivotal because she basically said, you can also act, you know?

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So Maria Callas is one of the opera singers who, like, made opera super dramatic in the acting, because mostly it was just.

[A]

It was just like presenting and singing

[B]

pretty much kind of park and barking interest.

[A]

I've never heard that before. Park and barking.

[B]

That's what we call it.

[A]

That's very funny.

[B]

You stand there and you just. And then you're done.

[A]

Can you tell me, how did you get into opera? You are so. I saw Hocus Pocus Live.

[B]

Did you come?

[A]

Yes. You are so one funny.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

It seemed like you were having the time of your life, and your voice is fucking incredible. And there was one point, you have a solo, and it's like transcending, and the audience didn't give you what you wanted, and you went, oh, wow. No standing Ovation. And I was like. I was. Me and my friend. I was with my friends Mono, Gilly and Betsy, and we were, like, standing. We were the only people who were like. And I love that you were like. That was hard and it was good. Give me what I deserve.

[B]

Well, the thing is, like, a lot of places, but you know, when you come to la, baby, everyone's like, oh, I can do that myself. No, you can't.

[A]

No, you can't.

[B]

You can't do this. I'm sorry. And it's okay. I can't do what a lot of people can do. I'm a multi hyphenist, so there's a lot of things that I can do, but I can't fail. So you know what I mean? Like, we all have our things we're good at.

[A]

We have our things and I can't fail. How did you get into singing?

[B]

I started singing when I was, like, born. I was crying in tune. But when I think my passion for opera started when I was like, three or four years old. My parents took me to go see La Boheme at the outdoor theater, and everyone was, like, running around and like, all the kids, you know, and I was sad. I was four years old, like, what is happening? And I didn't understand what was going on. Number one, it's in a different language. Number two, is it in Italian? It's in Italian, yeah. And number two, like, they're just singing everything. But I was into it. And ever since then, I've always just heard opera in my mind, in my brain, I just always heard and a good, you know, it was Pavarotti. I listened to a lot of opera growing up. My mom, we loved jazz, she loved opera, she loved all music. And so we listened to a lot of music growing up. And then one day I just started singing that way.

[A]

Wait, really?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, are you not trained?

[A]

No. You went to school?

[B]

Yeah, I'm trained now.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, but you said, how did I get into it?

[A]

You're like, I'm telling a story.

[B]

I was telling you.

[A]

Have you ever heard of it?

[B]

Have you ever heard of a story? But, yeah, that's how I got into it. It was, you know, and, you know, then I went to the high school for the Performing Visual Arts. Same school as Beyonce.

[A]

I don't know how old you are.

[B]

I'm not. I didn't go to school with Beyonce. Okay, so I'm not that, but I'm not that. She was a freshman in 1995. I was a freshman in 2002.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[B]

Yeah. So she's older than you think.

[A]

She really is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, what's that mean?

[B]

And she looks younger than both of us.

[A]

She really does.

[B]

I like, saw her the other day. I was like, okay, so she's teaching in reverse.

[A]

I want the doctors.

[B]

I want the doctors. I want the rituals.

[A]

Yes. Give it to me. She looks so fucking good.

[B]

That's a vampire, honey.

[A]

She really is.

[B]

She really is.

[A]

My God. So you went to the same school as Beyonce?

[B]

Yes, I went to the same high school. I also went to church with Beyonce.

[A]

You went to church with Beyonce and Kelly?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you ever see them in church?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did they ever sing in church?

[B]

No, not when I was there.

[A]

That's rude.

[B]

Yeah, they, you know, they were already famous by the time.

[A]

Oh, I see. I forgot. You're so young.

[B]

Justin's child. I was a baby.

[A]

I'm still a baby.

[B]

I'm a 37 year old baby.

[A]

Sometimes that's what I feel like. I do feel like a baby. I'm like, when do I grow up? When do I become baby?

[B]

And that's. That's actually how it's supposed to work, you think? I think so. I think that people grow out of their whimsy and I think that's sad.

[A]

You know what? I do think you're right. I do. I think it's a lot of times it's people with children, they kind of have.

[B]

Some of them keep it and they like, are able to raise these like really wonderful kids because they never lost that whimsy.

[A]

You know what, you're right. My friend Tess has so much whimsy and she's got a 17 year old and every time I look at her child, I'm like, it's wild that you, you've been raising a kid for 17 years and you're still so much fun.

[B]

Yeah. I have a friend who has. I think she's like maybe 12 now, and she's a clown. Like her mother is a clown. And so like she just gets raised by this clown and she's been raised by a clown this whole time.

[A]

It sounds like you're insulting your friend, but you're like, no, she's a literal clown, actually.

[B]

A clown. Like professional freaky clown. Freaky clown. Not like a go to your children's party clown, but like a stripper clown.

[A]

Yeah, I like that.

[B]

Yeah, like swallow swords kind of clown.

[A]

Ooh, that's fun.

[B]

Yeah, she's really, really wonderful. And she just is so much fun and her kid has so much imagination. And so much love for people and already knows that they're non binary. And it's just like, yay, this is a wonderful thing. You don't have to teach this child anything. No, all you have to do is show them the way. And they're just like, yeah, just let

[A]

them out in the world.

[B]

And sometimes children like that will teach you. And I love that.

[A]

Okay, so I really derailed the conversation. So you. You went to high school? High school for the performing arts, Same as Beyonce. And did you sing in church at all or.

[B]

Okay, I sang in church. So, like, when Beyonce and Kelly, I was in the choir and they were like, I could see Beyonce right in front of me. And I knew it was her because she was very thin. So she would stand up and she had this big hair, and she would stand up and put her. And I'd be like, wow, she's very small. And you can tell when she just came off of a film because she got really small. But when she comes home, she gets thick again because she likes to eat. And it was really nice to know, like, oh, sometimes you just gotta. You go through your cycles.

[A]

Yes, you go through your cycles.

[B]

And now she's like, I'm just thick and I'm fine with that. And I love that because she doesn't. No one tells her how she has to be.

[A]

No deonce. Gets to just be.

[B]

Gets to be. And everyone's like, yeah, thick as in.

[A]

I mean, it's okay. So I was watching this movie last night called Daredevil. Have you ever seen it with Ben Affleck?

[B]

Oh, Daredevil.

[A]

I said it fun.

[B]

I was like, I've never seen that one.

[A]

Daredevil and Homegirl in it. What's her name? One of the Jennifers that he goes in between. She's so thin in that movie. And I was like, good lord, that's crazy that in the 90s it was like a trend.

[B]

A trend to be rail thin.

[A]

She's so thin.

[B]

Daredevil was in the 90s.

[A]

Oh, maybe it was the 2000s girl. I don't know anything. It came out in 2003 and it's

[B]

Jennifer Gardner, I think.

[A]

Oh, Jennifer Gardner. 2003. That's so. Okay. So 90s, early 2000s, everybody's.

[B]

Yeah, it was coming out of that style. You still write it.

[A]

This is so, so wild.

[B]

Heroin chic.

[A]

Which is crazy that they were like, you know, them people dying on the street.

[B]

Yeah, let's look like them.

[A]

Let's look like them and call it a trend and put it in Vogue.

[B]

And guess what? They did it.

[A]

They sure did.

[B]

They weren't just dying on the street. They were also dying on the Runway.

[A]

On the Runway. They were dying on private jets. I just. I think it's weird that bodies have trends. It's like, just let your body be a body.

[B]

I think that's where we are now.

[A]

I hope.

[B]

I think that people are embracing thickness, because, you know, that's really what happens when you just let yourself go. And by let yourself go, I mean, like, let yourself do what it's just gonna do.

[A]

Yes. You know, but we also have, like, the Ozemp of. Ozemp. Ozemp. Ozempic of it all where, like, I feel like people are, like, losing. I don't know. I feel like Finn is coming back in a little bit.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I have to lose weight because physically, I can't support all the weight that I'm carrying because I wasn't. I didn't come up with a lot of weight. So, like, when you're not. When your body's not accustomed to having a lot of weight, it can have a toll on your body. But if you always had a lot of weight on your body or if you have, like, the bones that can support it. Girl. Go off. Honey, there is. And if it has something to do with somebody else, there is somebody who loves it. I have trade that has called me thick. And I literally was like, what are you talking about? They were like, yeah, I love that you've gotten so thick. And I was like, shut up. Just eat my ass. What are you talking about?

[A]

Stop talking. Start eating.

[B]

Start eating. Honey, there's. Why are we talking about how thick I've gotten? This is not something I feel like talking about right now. You're not my therapist, nor my nutritionist. We need to get the fuck out. Let's just do the thing.

[A]

We have come to the end. I truly have asked you none of my standard questions, like, at all. But usually I ask my guests. Do you have any advice for single people?

[B]

Stay single.

[A]

Give up.

[B]

No, I don't mean give up. Just stay single or stay. Enjoy your friends. You have people in your life that are very important to you that love you and really cultivate those relationships and really grow and live and go on vacation together with your friends. Like, I feel like everyone's always looking for that special person, and then you go. And then you stay at home and watch TV all day, and y' all don't really talk, and you don't do a lot of stuff, and Then you have the most fun with your best friend. Go have some fun with their friends.

[A]

I agree. I've had some of my, like, favorite memories traveling with friends.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I, ugh. Friends are just. I like, I say it a lot. With my other podcast with my best friends this year, I'm like, we need to fellowship and we need community. And you need those people in your life who aren't your romantic partners, because that's really important as well.

[B]

Yeah. And those people really help build you for that person. If you ever get that person. And if you don't, good for you.

[A]

Yeah. Have a nice time.

[B]

Have a nice time. And I don't mean good for you. Cause this. It's hard over here for a pimp. But, like, it's, you know, it's a lot of work to be in a relationship and dealing with another person. At least you know, when you're done with your friend, you can go home.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Hey. I don't feel like being with you anymore. Love you.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

See you tomorrow.

[A]

I was just talking about how wonderful that is to be like, I'm. Goodbye. I've had my nice time with you. I don't want to do this anymore because it's like, we're just friends. We don't owe each other anything.

[B]

What you doing? You know what I mean? What you about to do? That's what I tell the trade every time they leave or every time we're done. So what are you doing tonight? Cause I know it's not staying here.

[A]

That's very funny. So what do you have going on? It's like, oh, I guess I have to leave. Yes. Yes, I guess you do. Yes, truly. Thank you so much for being here.

[B]

I forgot to say that I have a show.

[A]

Oh, wait. Oh, yes. What would you like to promote? I have like a full aneurysm. I was like, oh, yeah, I'm supposed to ask. I'm supposed to ask. So what would you like to promote?

[B]

Well, I have a show called Once over the Cuckoo's Nest. Yes, we already talked about that once. Love over the Cuckoo's Nest is. I mean, what we're doing right now. If you like seeing me on TV or on your phone, come see me in person. It's a.

[A]

Do you sing in the show?

[B]

I don't. Oh, it's a stand up comedy show.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I love that it's a stand up comedy. We're just telling jokes and laughing together. Because I realized when I was very, very young that I just didn't feel like I Was in the right place. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, why does everyone understand this but me? Am I crazy? I'm not crazy. There's a lot of people who feel that way. And, you know, I feel like I was like, I'm just gonna write down my thoughts. And every time I said it to any of my friends, they were like, you're funny. And so I did drag race. Won the comedy challenge there, even while flubbing a little bit. But I didn't flub. I just. I have adhd and my brain moves faster than my mouth.

[A]

Yeah, that's funny because we touched on. Or no, maybe that was in my research. I meant to ask you about that. Oh, no, you said you were on the spectrum. And I meant to ask you about ADHD because as a child, they wanted to medicate you, but your parents maybe didn't want you medicated.

[B]

Yeah, my mom didn't want me medicated.

[A]

Are you medicated now? Sometimes I take Vyvanse, and if I don't take it, boy, oh, boy, am I annoying. Ooh wee. Cause I just talk a mile a minute, and then things don't. It's hard for people I'm speaking to to understand where, like, I'll A to not A to B. I'll like A to Q to Z to C. See,

[B]

I can follow that because my brain moves a mile a minute. My mouth does not. My brain does, and my mouth can't keep up.

[A]

I'm the opposite. My mouth is moving faster than my brain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, sometimes a nice man in my life, he'll be like. So it feels like you say everything you think. And I was like, yes, yes, it has to happen. And he was like, because sometimes you'll work it out because he works from home. So sometimes I'll start talking, and then I'll be like, oh, I think I'm annoying you because you're working, so I'll leave you alone. And he's like, we could avoid all that. If you go, he's working right now. Or you ask, is this a good time? And I went, yeah, sure. And then my therapist was like, maybe you ask him if it's a good time. And I was like, oh, wow, she's right. She got it.

[B]

She's the one who's right, not him.

[A]

He was like, I said that. And I was like, did you, though?

[B]

But did you. Did you say it in a way that I could understand?

[A]

I didn't get it when you said it. Also, I ask all my guests, this would you date me?

[B]

Of course. Hell, yeah, I would date you. We've been laughing this whole time. Anyone who makes me laugh, I would date you all the time.

[A]

Ugh. That makes.

[B]

If you can make me laugh, I'll fuck you.

[A]

Ooh, ooh, ooh. I guess I'm gonna have to get some Emodium.

[B]

Oh, Mr. Nice man, will you watch?

[A]

He wouldn't. He'd be like, no, thanks.

[B]

No, thanks, but go off.

[A]

Well, if you like this episode of why Won't yout Date me? You could like it, you could rate it, you could subscribe. Subscribe. You could give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty to why won't you date me? Podcast gmail.com and you have to hit on me. And it has to be nasty. I'll read it. Hi, Nicole. It's your favorite trans couple, Finn and Sabrina, back for another threesome. We're having delicious, nasty sex, and we end up with me, Sabrina, doing my boyfriend doggy style while he eats you out and fists your. Okay, only duck Bill. I don't like a full fist. Yeah, it's such a gorgeous sight watching it. And I get extremely aroused and pound thin really hard. I'm fucking him so hard, he starts to. To get crammed into your pussy head first. He's such a small guy. I'm still railing him. As he's halfway inside you. You come so hard that you pop him out with your orgasm. We're all covered in your juices, and he lays on the floor naked. Oh, no. And as he lays on the floor naked, we're like, did you basically give birth to him? He's your son now. Then I ask you for 18 years of back pay for child support. You refuse, unfortunately, and you never invite us over for sex again. That was genuinely very funny. Wow.

[B]

I love Emotional Journey. I didn't think I was gonna be going on an immerse. I've a little. I'm a little teary.

[A]

It's an immersive experience. Honestly, my listeners and people who come to my shows are some of the genuinely, like, most creative, funny, wonderful people. And every time I tour, the people at the theater or the club are like, man, your fans are, like, respectful, they're nice, they eat, and they tip very, very well. So everybody who listens to this podcast and comes to my shows and supports me. You're all really nice people, and I'm so proud that I've curated such a lovely following.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And thank you so much for being here. And this was fun.

[B]

This was so much fun. Yeah.

[A]

Emodium.

[B]

Get your tickets for.

[A]

Oh, yes. Where can I get tickets?

[B]

See sapphira.com and what are your socials? My socials are Sapphire Castal on Allstream, on all platforms. And you can also listen to my album, the Cristal Ball, on all streaming platforms.

[A]

Singing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Opera.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Or contemporary.

[B]

It's contemporary.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

But I do have an opera. I have the Omil Baba Nakaro, which is on Austrian platforms as well. The video I did with Katya.

[A]

Ooh. I don't think I've seen it. I said, ooh, like I had seen. I was like, ooh. But I was like, what are you doing?

[B]

I've seen it and won't see.

[A]

This is my mouth moving faster than my brain? Cause my brain was like, you haven't seen it?

[B]

And I was like, and this is with Vyvanse girl.

[A]

It's a struggle every day.

[B]

I almost took my Ritalin today. Cause I was like, I'm exhausted. Maybe I could just, you know, if

[A]

I don't take it, I'll just go back to sleep.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I'm like, boy, I have a lot of things to do.

[B]

Better.

[A]

Just sleep well. Goodbye.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

That was a hitgam podcast.