The Torture of Working with an Ex (w/ Nicholas Scheppard)

Summary

Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer
Episode: The Torture of Working with an Ex (w/ Nicholas Scheppard)
Release Date: February 20, 2026

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Episode Overview

Nicole Byer welcomes comedian, muralist, and drag queen Nicholas Scheppard (“Trudy Detective”) to discuss the complexity of working with an ex, queer dating journeys, breakups, creative careers, and the joyful, wild messiness of life. The conversation moves freely from heartbreak, self-reflection, and creativity to pop culture, drag, and the little rituals of happiness (like making ice cream). The tone is candid, vulnerable, raunchy at times, and consistently hilarious.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Relationship Status & Breakup Reflections

• Nicholas is freshly single (~2 months out), describing the aftermath as “hurts like hell, I’ll tell you that. Every day is an uphill climb.” (06:50)
• He shares the value of self-awareness: “I want to make sure my oxygen mask is on before I start fiddling with someone in the seat next to me.” (07:07)
• Nicole relates, sharing her own pattern of jumping back into dating after breakups and now choosing to pause:

  “My last breakup, I was like you. I was like, I actually can’t do this, and I’m just simply not gonna force myself to do it.” (07:51)

2. Lessons from Breakups & Recognizing Red Flags

• Both discuss the tendency to ignore early signs that a relationship won’t work.
  • Nicholas relays advice:

    “The person that you're seeing always lets you know right away exactly how they're gonna break your heart.” (09:35)

  • Nicole reflects:

    “Honestly, all of them were like, ‘I don’t really want anything serious.’ And I’m like, but if you get to know me, you will, right?” (10:07)

3. Non-Negotiables & Personal Growth

• Nicholas on relationship desires:

  “I would like to have a really just awesome time together... I would like to have someone who is really open to looking at themselves, taking some time in the mirror...” (13:40)

• A recurring metaphor: balancing time in the "emotional mirror" and the "physical mirror”.

  “My advice to me, Nick, when you’re watching yourself later… take one step to the left and look in the physical mirror and leave the house.” (14:20)

4. Early Life, Coming Out, and Queer Adolescence

• Nicholas grew up in Las Vegas and attended a performing arts school close to the Strip.
  • Discusses the “Broadway-level” spectacle of Vegas megachurch events, like Santas on jetpacks and Grinches singing “Old Town Road.” (26:13)
• He came out as gay between high school and college, with dating delayed compared to straight peers.

  “Queer people… there’s such a delayed, like, dating growth thing. So I did, I think, probably what everyone is doing at like thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, in like eighteen, nineteen, twenty.” (33:53)

• Nicole relates her delayed dating due to body image and skin issues.

5. Theater Kid Life, Audition Stories, and Musical Theater

• Nick’s formative trauma: not getting into his high school’s lavish Vegas-themed production of Cats—after being cast in Sweeney Todd as a freshman (30:03).
• Both joke about their limitations as singers and the peculiarity of straight men in musical theater:

  “Some of the nastiest freak bitches I ever met are straight guys that do musical theater.” (33:27)

6. From Theater to Queer Artistry: Mural Career & Drag

• The birth of “Very Gay Paint”:
  • Nicholas and ex-boyfriend Jensen started painting murals during lockdown, which snowballed into a creative business for clients, including RuPaul (35:49).
  • Nicholas describes the process (client inspiration, varied drafts, celebrities often have more specific requests) (36:43).
• On drag persona “Trudy Detective”:
  • Created for the show Bad Drag Race; backstory: "A year ago, her sister was murdered. She’s really, really, really close to finding out who did it… she's so close." (42:43)
• Drag brunches and the magic of performing themes people recognize (“the name of the game is familiarity”—19:10)

7. On Working With an Ex (The Main Theme)

• Nicole asks about maintaining a business after a breakup:

  "Was that hard?" (51:34)

• Nicholas:

  “Excruciating. Every moment of it was torture. Until it wasn’t.” (51:45)
  “It also happened during the height of the most successful we ever were… We were both like, neither of us are in a mental headspace… interacting with each other is the top of the mountain of labor we can do. So do not bring RuPaul here. And then it just got easier. We processed… had different heartbreaks and hard times that we then were able to lean on each other for.” (52:05)

• Nicole praises his boundaries and self-awareness for declining high-profile career opportunities when mental health couldn't support them.

8. Pop Culture, Drag, and Humor

• Joking about Natasha Bedingfield, The Rock’s “Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?” (20:16), and how audiences lose their minds when they recognize something familiar.
• Extended riffing on “bukkake” and food, and pondering the shelf life of cum (“Not designed to last. The shelf life could not be shorter. That’s why they don't sell it at grocery stores.” —Nick, 48:05).

9. Tiny Joys: Ice Cream & Affirmation Rituals

• Nicole’s joy in acquiring a Ninja Creami ice cream machine from Facebook Marketplace and the ritual of making treats with her “nice man.” (54:00–56:38)
• Nicholas describes making it through heartbreak by talking “like a little baby” to himself:

  “I’ve been doing the out loud, ‘I love you, so, you’re gonna be okay.’” (16:53)

10. Advice & Affirmations

• Nicholas’s advice for singles:

  “Decide percentage-wise between the two mirrors—one which looks inward and one that helps you check your hair and your teeth. Make a goal for what percentage you want to spend in each mirror…” (58:59)

11. “Would you date me?”

• Nicole: “Would you date me?”
• Nicholas: “Yeah. I think we’d have so much fun. Especially now that I know you have a Creami.” (59:36)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I want to make sure my oxygen mask is on before I start fiddling with someone in the seat next to me." – Nicholas (07:07)
• "The person that you're seeing always lets you know right away exactly how they're gonna break your heart." – Nicholas quoting Kim Pierce (09:35)
• “Some of the nastiest freak bitches I ever met are straight guys that do musical theater.” – Nicholas (33:27)
• “Excruciating. Every moment of it was torture. Until it wasn’t.” – Nicholas on working with an ex (51:45)
• “I've been doing the out loud, ‘I love you, so you're gonna be okay.’” – Nicholas, on self-soothing after a breakup (16:53)
• “It’s not designed to last. The shelf life could not be shorter. That's why they don’t sell it at grocery stores.” – Nicholas, on the shelf life of certain bodily fluids (48:05)
• "Especially now that I know you have a Creami. I would cream so much for you." – Nicholas and Nicole, on hypothetical dating (59:41)

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Timestamps for Significant Segments

• 04:39 – Nicholas introduced; community and relationship status
• 06:41–09:03 – Breakup honesty, grieving, advice from Sundance, ignoring relationship red flags
• 13:40 – Nicholas’s relationship “non-negotiables” and mirror metaphor
• 26:06 – Vegas childhood, school, megachurches, and performing arts experiences
• 33:16–34:24 – Queer adolescence, coming out, delayed dating, theater kids
• 35:49 – How “Very Gay Paint” was born; going from theater to artist/creative business owner
• 42:08 – Drag story: birth and backstory of “Trudy Detective”
• 51:45–52:53 – The difficulty and eventual resilience of keeping a business with an ex
• 54:00–56:38 – Ninja Creami ice cream stories, joy, and relationship rituals
• 58:59–59:28 – Final advice for singles (“two mirrors”)
• 59:32 – “Would you date me?” exchange

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Final Takeaways

The episode is heartfelt and howlingly funny, grounding big topics—breakups, business and exes, self-esteem, creative accidents, queer community—in a loose, honest, and playful rapport. Nicholas’s story models self-reflection, resilience, and humor throughout life’s transitions. Nicole’s boisterous warmth guides the conversation, resulting in an episode packed with real talk, raunchy bits, and wisdom for anyone navigating love, creativity, or just trying to survive heartbreak (and maybe get some ice cream along the way).

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Promotion/Plugs:
Nicole appeared as the first guest on the new season of Nicholas’s podcast, Art to Me (Thursdays). Nicholas performs as “Trudy Detective” in Southern California. Affirmations, encouragement, and offers from tall funky weirdos are welcome.

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This summary omits advertisements and sponsorship breaks to focus on core content and heart of the episode.

Transcript

[A]

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a hitgam podcast. You know I love a mess. I live for the messy dating stories we talk about on this show. But there is one thing that's too messy even for me, and that is all of us losing access to our sexual and reproductive health care. Planned Parenthood believes that we should have the freedom to make decisions about our own bodies and our futures. Whether you need STI testing, birth control, gender affirming care, abortion, or sex ed, Planned Parenthood is here for you. They've been doing this work for a long time and they are basically the best friend you need when things get just a little complicated. But right now, lawmakers across the country are trying to stop us from getting essential care. They want to deny people birth control and promote abstinence only programs, which is just ew. Nobody wants that. Millions of people could lose access to care, especially black and Latino people, people in rural areas, and people with low incomes. It's scary, but Planned Parenthood believes health care is a human right that everyone deserves. They're fighting every day to build a future where everyone can get the care that they need, no matter who they are or where they live. Supporters like you power this work. Donate to Support Planned Parenthood now at planned parenthood.org/Defend you guys it has been pouring rain non stop in Los Angeles. It is gloomy, it is wet, and it's making me want to stay inside and be cozy with my dog Clyde. But when I've been stuck on my couch for three days straight, I start to notice things. I look around my space and I'm thinking if I'm going to be stuck in here, it needs to be cute. So since I can't leave, I have decided to finally get my act together. This year I am actually going to elevate my space with Wayfair. Wayfair is the only place that has literally everything from functional basics to the just for fun stuff. They have it all in every style and every budget. Here's the thing. I love a maximalist vibe, but my house can get a little chaotic. I have so many wigs, outfits, multiple breastplates too. It could be a lot. So I went on the site and found these gorgeous velvet storage ottomans. They match my wild decor because you know, I love a bold color but they secretly hide all my clutter. So when I have friends over I look like a responsible adult and not a woman living in a costume shop. So get organized, refresh and Back on track this new year for way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfarer Every style, every home. You guys know I'm always on the go. It was a hectic year, so I planned to get away to Joshua Tree with a few of my friends because we just needed to stare at some rocks and disconnect. And here's the thing about hotels, okay? I like them. Sometimes you find a cute one, but when you're traveling with your friends, a hotel room is just not big enough. And I refuse to sit on my bed eating room service just so my friend can have the one chair that's in the room. I like a hotel pool, but I do not like fighting for a lounge chair or getting splashed by strangers. I want a kitchen where I can open a bottle of wine and just yap all night without worrying about getting a noise complaint. That's why, for this trip, I finding a home on Airbnb was the only option. We found this amazing, cute spot on a huge property with a private pool, and it meant we could just sprawl out and enjoy our time together without being just, like, on top of one another. And if you only want the best, you need to look for their guest favorites. It's a badge on Airbnb that shows the most loved homes based on ratings, reviews, and reliability. It basically takes out all of the guesswork. So if you want to have fun with your friends on your next trip, book your next day on Airbnb. We went out to dinner the other night, and I like to put, you know, on, like, open table. It's like, are you celebrating a birthday? An anniversary? So last time we went to this restaurant, I said it was our anniversary. It wasn't. So this time I was like, well, I'll put celebration. And our server was like, what are you celebrating? And I was like, oh, I forgot. And I went, black History Month. And she went, okay. And then they were out of a dish. And she was like, I'm really sorry. And I was like, but did you tell them what I'm celebrating? And she went, I sure didn't. And it made me laugh so hard.

[B]

I feel like, as a server, if someone came in and said that they were celebrating Black History Month, I would be like, your meal's comped. It's comped. If it's not on the house, it's on me.

[A]

And I decided this Black History Month, I'm going to say it everywhere. I go, what are you celebrating? Black History Month? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Oh, baby. Welcome to another episode of why Won't yout Date Me. A podcaster me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single. Even though you could come in a jar and say, hey, those are mini marshmallows that I melted for some hot chocolate. My guest today is a comedian, muralist, and the drag queen known as Trudy Detective.

[B]

It's been tough for you forever.

[A]

True Detective. He's famous for turning walls. Gay with his company, Very Gay Paint. He now co hosts the weekly podcast Art to Me with his ex boyfriend, where they decide what is art? And guess who was their very first guest? It was me. And you can listen to it now. And I'm so excited. It's Nick Shepard. That's right. Hi.

[B]

Hi, Nick.

[A]

Thank you so much for being here.

[B]

Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

[A]

Can you tell me, are you single or dating or in a relationship or married or divorced or separated or just not into it at all?

[B]

This dropdown is wild. I am kind of freshly single. I had a breakup about two when you came on our podcast. I sort of was doing my Tom Cruise on the Oprah couch. I love my boyfriend moment. Which is so funny. Cause about a week later, we did break up. But you came on my podcast and I was like, I'm dating the most amazing guy. He's perfect.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[B]

And that was true. And that is true. I'll always love him. But we did break up. I am 2ish months out of that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hurts like hell, I'll tell you that. Every day is an uphill climb.

[A]

Nothing to laugh at. That. That was just the way you said it.

[B]

No. This is just my truth. And my heart is not yet open to love again.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because we've gotta get our feet under ourselves a little.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I wanna make sure that my oxygen mask is on before I start fiddling with someone in the seat next to me.

[A]

Yes. Safety dude.

[B]

Before I start fiddling with someone in the seat. Next.

[A]

Fiddling with someone.

[B]

The flight attendant is like, put your own oxygen mask on if you're gonna jerk the guy off next to you, for the love of God.

[A]

Okay. I really like that, you know, that you're not ready.

[B]

It doesn't feel up to me. Like I. If I could be ready. Honestly, like, if my brain worked in a way where I was like, I miss love. I miss being in love. It was amazing. And so if I didn't have to lose a person in my life who loves me and checks on me every day and is Mr. Sweetie Pie, I would have that again. I just. It's not up to me. I can't do it.

[A]

See, but you have the self awareness that you know that you can't do it. I have broken up with people, been like, well, get back on the horse, get in the saddle and fuck somebody. And then I don't feel good. And then I'm like, I don't like this person. This person simply doesn't like me. But I gotta just do it. Rip that band aid off. But my last breakup, I was like you. I was like, I actually can't do this, and I'm just simply not gonna force myself to do it. And that wasn't even a relationship. That was good.

[B]

I would say in that case, even more so. Then how about we look inward for a second? Oh, you were in a relationship that really wasn't good. Oh, for a decent amount of time. Let's take some time. Let's peek in. Let's take a look under the hood, my love.

[A]

Let's open the hood.

[B]

And why did that happen?

[A]

It happened because it was a situationship where this man said to me, maybe a month and a half in, I don't want to be in a relationship. And I said, I think you'll change once you realize how incredible I actually am. And as time went on, he was like, no, no.

[B]

I was at Sundance like a week ago now.

[A]

Brag.

[B]

It isn't because I have to tell you, I had a dark night of the soul at Sundance.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

The breakup sort of reset. And I was like, you know, it really hurts, but I'm going to the gym. I'm taking care of myself. I'm speaking with friends. I went to Sundance and was in a dark room, quiet for two hours, over and over and over again. And so I was like, I'm a hit. Like, the grief really got to me. But an amazing part about Sundance, the reason I bring this up is I was staying in an Airbnb with this woman, Kim Pierce, who I hadn't met yet. And I asked how my day was one day, and I was like, like, just weeping. But she, in talking about it, was talking about one of her exes. And she said, the person that you're seeing always lets you know right away exactly how they're gonna break your heart. And with your situationship being like, ah, I Don't want a relationship.

[A]

And you're like, la, la, la. Yep. I don't hear that.

[B]

There's just. It's every freaking time. Every time I've had my heart broken, I've been like, could have told you the first week that this is how I thought that this would happen.

[A]

Interest. I'm. Now I'm, like, thinking back on, like, all. And honestly, all of them were like, I don't really want anything serious. And I'm like, but if you get to know me, you will, right? I was dating this dude right before the. The pandemic. It was 2019, going into 2020, and we were kind of fizzling out. And I had asked him. I was like, hey, so are you, like, dating other people? And he was like, yes. And I was like, cool, me too. And I was. But I didn't want to be. And I was like, hey, what if we, like, just didn't date other people? And he was like, I think I'm gonna keep doing that. Cause I don't know if I believe in monogamy. And I was like, oh, okay. He's now married with a child and fully believes in monogamy.

[B]

That probably feels awesome as it felt so good.

[A]

I was like, ooh, so you told me something different. And then you're living different. But then it's just like, did I want a kid? No. Did we work? No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just fucking move on, right?

[B]

You know, you suffer, you learn, you grow. We still. We choose love anyway.

[A]

We choose love wins.

[B]

Yes. Sometimes. Not for me personally.

[A]

Not for you right here.

[B]

But for others. I've heard that love wins.

[A]

Love wins. It moves forward. No, wait. What was that campaign? It's.

[B]

It moves forward. The it moves forward campaign.

[A]

No. Don't you remember that?

[B]

It gets better. Oh, the clock keeps ticking. Campaign. Time's running out.

[A]

Campaign all the time.

[B]

Hurry up and be gay.

[A]

Can I tell you something?

[B]

Please.

[A]

I've really just gotten into watches recently.

[B]

Okay. You should speak with my father. He's goo goo for watches.

[A]

Really.

[B]

It's his special. My whole family, like, as an adult, I was like, so the whole family, each has, like, a hyper niche, special interest. So writing's on the wall there. My dad's. His watches. Mm.

[A]

How many watches does he have?

[B]

Oh, my God. Easily 20. But he spends time online just. And nice watch. Like, 20 watches that he's, like, researched, saved up, gotten from different dealers for different deals. Like, wow. Yeah.

[A]

He loves watches. We're a little different because I'm going for aesthetic and a bunch of My watches that I recently got don't have batteries in them. Oh, I'm not. I.

[B]

You mean watches as a fashion choice.

[A]

Yup.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

This one says 6, 10.

[B]

Sure. And who's to say it's not? Time is made up?

[A]

Time is. Yes, that's what Mariah Carey says.

[B]

Honey by Mariah Carey. The Derek Jeter come song. Honey by Mariah Carey.

[A]

That's about Derek Jeter and has come.

[B]

Oh, it's just like honey I hear when your love pours over me.

[A]

Here's the thing. If your cum is like honey, you gotta get to the doctor. Too thick.

[B]

Oh, but the flavor, that would be nice. I know. I'm saying a honey flavor is a massive improvement on the typical. I wouldn't know, but I've heard massive improvement on the typical flavor.

[A]

I would like that. If someone came in my mouth and it tasted like honey or like a

[B]

sweet tart or I would write a hit song.

[A]

Oh, I think I would just suck their dick all the time instead of eating candy.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Probably less calories.

[B]

Little miss Little, I'm withering away.

[A]

So, in your next relationship, okay, what are your non negotiables? Like, what are you looking for, Huh?

[B]

I would like to have a really, just awesome time together. I would like to, when we're not together, always be like, oh, remember when we were together? That's a non negotiable. I always want that. I would like to have someone who is really open to looking at themselves, taking some time in the mirror, asking what's happening, getting curious about themselves.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That can get scary. But don't be too afraid to do it.

[A]

You don't mean like physically, you mean like emotionally and like mentally.

[B]

Look in the emotional mirror. Take also a second in the physical mirror. Let's just see. I could take that advice as well.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I need to take a couple more seconds every day. Just look at yourself before you leave the house.

[A]

But in the physical mirror.

[B]

In the physical mirror.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I spend actually probably more time than I need in the emotional mirror. I would say my advice to me, Nick, when you're watching yourself later, I see you in the emotional mirror, take one step to the left and look in the physical mirror and leave the house.

[A]

I really love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. So I have adhd, so if I ever left a message for myself on a video and then watch the video and then was like, I would be

[B]

so scared you wouldn't remember that you'd done it.

[A]

No. And I'd be like, oh my God, that's crazy.

[B]

You'd have a psychotic break. Like the woman with the Pluribus fridge.

[A]

That blows me away. Mars, did you hear about this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, people who haven't heard about it, she had a. She. Well, I'm not gonna victim blame, but she bought a refrigerator that has a TV in it. That's.

[B]

No, let's victim blame.

[A]

Why would you do that?

[B]

Big mistake.

[A]

Carol, why would you buy a refrigerator with a TV in it? Again, I'm not, like. I'm not trying to be rude, but how many TVs does one need in a home?

[B]

I know. I will say, anytime I've gone to a hotel and you go in the bathroom, and behind the bathroom mirror is a tv.

[A]

You like that?

[B]

It's so cool.

[A]

But why do you. I'm putting on makeup in the mirror. I'm not. I can't watch the tv.

[B]

Right. It's not functional. But the idea of it is so. Like Jetsons. It is. The future is here.

[A]

You're right. But in your home, in your apartment,

[B]

not at my house.

[A]

You're getting orange juice, and then it's like, now on cnn. Like, what? What do you need it for?

[B]

I will say now, in my time of sorrow, as many screens and distractions as I can have going. Let's get those cooking. Let's play a little video.

[A]

Speaking of distractions and stuff, what do you do to, like, stay off your phone, or do you just, like, be on the phone?

[B]

Oh, God, I'd love to know if I could find something. I bought a book yesterday. Ooh, I purchased a book at Barnes and Noble. It's aspirational. I would love to get off of my phone. It's called. Oh, I'm not gonna remember, but it's a murder mystery.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Love a good murder mystery.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Oh, it's. I think it's called. I have some questions for your question. A friend recommended it to me. It's gonna get me off my phone. Nick, you're watching this? A couple. A little bit after you filmed. God, I hope you've read that book.

[A]

I love that you censored yourself to yourself.

[B]

I don't want me to hear stuff like that.

[A]

Honestly, we should all be speaking kinder to ourselves.

[B]

Yeah. The beautiful thing about this trying time is that I've been talking like a little baby to myself. I've been.

[A]

See, that's really nice.

[B]

I've been doing the out loud, I love you, so you're gonna be okay. Aww.

[A]

I bought Heated Rivalry.

[B]

The book.

[A]

The book, yes.

[B]

Have you cracked it open.

[A]

You know what? Sure haven't. But I am going to read it because I'm very. I really liked the show. I've watched it twice. It is so romantic, and I really loved it. And it's so sweet, and there's so much love. And I was like, love is real. I love it, I love it, I love it. And then I was like, I wanna live it again in my head.

[B]

In my head. I'm doing a heated rivalry drag brunch on the 20th in Palm Springs.

[A]

The 20th of February.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Dang. That's today. When it comes out. Dang, that's today. Get in your cars.

[B]

You're watching this from the backstage at your heated rivalry drag brunch.

[A]

Wait, Nick, stop watching. Go host. Your brunch.

[B]

Your number, your number, your number.

[A]

Go host. That's really fun. So what is. Is it like, heated rivalry themed, or is it just, like, bring your love of the show?

[B]

They have been pretty specific, and they're like, we need to see every character from the show.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You need to be playing at least one of these songs that are popular for the show. I got all the things you said, which was a huge win.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I'm already starting.

[A]

How does that song go?

[B]

All the things you said.

[A]

Oh, yes. That's a great song.

[B]

Yes. Tattoo.

[A]

Ah da do ta do.

[B]

It's gonna be awesome. I will say the cast is almost all the cast of heated rivalry is boys. Boys. Boys.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So I'm in a lot of kind of drag spins on boy characters.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's hard. It's a. Is it gender fuck? But we're making it happen.

[A]

That got me good. Gender fuck.

[B]

My drag is a little different. I'd actually describe it as more gender fuck.

[A]

That's exciting. That's fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love a themed drag brunch and

[B]

just something that people will go up for because you can't. Artistry is amazing. Opening a drag show and being like, everybody, do whatever you want. Bring in the thing you're excited about. Rocks the way an audience gets when you bring an existing piece of IP that they love, the way they get their wallets out. Let's go.

[A]

It's kind of wild that I don't. How do I say this without being insulting to audiences? I feel like audiences do, like, an original thing, but if you sneak in something they know, they lose their minds.

[B]

Especially brunch time. The name of the game is familiarity. They want to recognize something that they know.

[A]

Mm. I did a show over the weekend in Eugene, Oregon. I liked Eugene it was a little wild. It's like, kind of. It's being occupied. They, like, tear gassed some protesters at the federal building, which is, like, right near the show. And that was very scary. But that aside, nice time.

[B]

Sure, sure, sure. Forget about that. Forget about that.

[A]

Nice time. I liked it there. But I referenced Natasha Bedingfield at some point, and I said, my story is unwritten. And the response, oh, my God, Tr. Like, titties were out. People were like, yeah, squirting me with fucking milk. Like, it was wild.

[B]

They have T shirt cannons.

[A]

Yeah. And it blew me away in a way that I was like, but there's no joke yet. I just.

[B]

We don't want a joke. We want a thing we've heard before.

[A]

And I told them, I was like, I don't have, like, an actual joke for that bit yet. But they were like. They were like, we don't care. Say Natasha Bedefield again.

[B]

You like money? Get a catchphrase.

[A]

Yeah, get a catchphrase. Do you smell what the Rock is cooking? What was he cooking?

[B]

I don't know, but that is, like, baked into my subconscious, right? I think about anytime I have a smell, a strong smell. His voice plays in the back of my mind.

[A]

Whenever I see, like, a. Or if someone's like, oh, working my nine to five, I think of Dolly Parton. Yes.

[B]

That's why she's so rich.

[A]

She's all, no, she's rich because of I'll Always Love youe.

[B]

Oh, of course. Of course.

[A]

She said, who am I to stop somebody from singing the song with a good voice?

[B]

Right? It's like, no, it's really good.

[A]

Oh, thank you. I go in the road, I'm like, I'm now a Dolly Part impersonator guy.

[B]

Leave everything else behind.

[A]

People come to my shows, and it's me with a guitar, and I'm like, how do y'? All. I'm working nine to five

[B]

so good.

[A]

I don't know the words.

[B]

It's truly convincing.

[A]

Oh, Nick, thank you. Real quick. Yeah, we gotta take a break.

[B]

Ugh. Okay.

[A]

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[B]

Oh, what a break.

[A]

We're back. Nick.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Okay. So you grew. No, you grew up in Vegas.

[B]

That's right. Las Vegas. Hate it.

[A]

I'm sorry, was Vegas not enough for you? Did you think people wouldn't know?

[B]

I wanted to put some respect on his face.

[A]

Put some respect on Vegas. Las Vegas.

[B]

I can't say enough bad things about it, if I'm honest. I don't love Vegas so much.

[A]

Okay. For me, I've only really been to Las Vegas in the sense of, like, the Strip and, you know, gambling and strippers and. What was it like growing up there? Did you grow up near the Strip?

[B]

No. I did go to high school near the Strip. There's a performing arts school in Las Vegas that's like right by Fremont street. The old Strip.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[B]

But that was about 45 minutes from my house. Everything else in Vegas outside of the Strip is like ultra, ultra suburban. A billion houses that look the same. A smattering of megachurches. There are some. If you go to Las Vegas around Christmas Eve, try to find your way into a megachurches Christmas show because it is like Broadway level budget. I saw a Santa with a jetpack fly through the audience.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes. A Grinch came out and this will give away what year it was. But a Grinch came out and sang Old Town Road with a real dog and tap dancers. It was unbelievable. It is a fever dream of worship.

[A]

A fever dream of worship?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Wow, that's wild. Can I ask? Well, you said you can't say enough bad things about it, but that sounds.

[B]

That is unfortunately awesome. But that's something. I became so Jensen, my podcast co host and ex Boyfriend, Close friend.

[A]

And partner. And partner with very gay pain.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes. We had a long four year love affair that ended, and then now we've managed to stay beautiful friends, which is awesome.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

But his family, he also grew up in Las Vegas. We didn't. No relation. We didn't know each other at the.

[A]

No relation. We're not, bro.

[B]

My ex boyfriend. No relation. He also grew up in Las Vegas, and we one time went back to visit and his family was like, how about we take you to our mega church? So that was an experience that was actually kind of independent of my childhood there. I just find Vegas to be a little bit sparse and exciting things other than the Strip, which, to be honest, I haven't engaged a ton with due to being a child at the time I lived there.

[A]

Fair. Have you been back as an adult?

[B]

No, not done. The stress. I went back and saw Drag Race live.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Which. A hoot and a half.

[A]

It's very fun. I've seen it twice.

[B]

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. Kennedy Davenport was on it when I saw that is crazy.

[A]

I love Kennedy Davenport. I've said it. I'm pretty sure I've said it on this podcast, but her lip sync against Katya in season seven in the hello Kitty challenge, I think is one of. I think might be my favorite lip sync of the show. And I feel like it's not brought up enough.

[B]

I think Katya says that she told Kennedy backstage. I would give anything to just be able to sit and watch you do this.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

She's amazing.

[A]

She's so incredible. Oh. When she jumps off the stage and lands in a split and then she gets up and there's a close up and eye on the fire.

[B]

She is the blueprint.

[A]

Oh, I love it. I love Kennedy Davenport.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what got you into wait? I want to talk a little bit more about Vegas.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So as a child in, like, a performing arts school near the Strip, were teachers, like, pulling inspiration from, like, Showgirls or, like, you know, one of my

[B]

core wounds is that my high school did a production of Cats that was Cats Las Vegas. It was. I don't know where they got this budget, but it was a very high budget production that they got real neon signs from the neon graveyard, and that's where they set it. Like, it was set in the, like, retired neon graveyard of Las Vegas. And the cats were all crawling around on the signs. I did not get into the show.

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

It was the darkest depression I had been In. I've probably still been in from a place of heartbreak. I'm telling you, I'm still not as sad as I was when I didn't get into Cats my freshman year of high school.

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

But they did do a little like, baby, it's Vegas style. My high school also, before I got there, premiered the school edition of Miss Saigon, which is an insanely inappropriate musical for a high school to do 16 year old girls in, like, thong bikinis is baffling.

[A]

Interesting. Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't want to, like, dig into this wound. That's still a little open.

[B]

The cats of it all.

[A]

Yes. What was your audition song?

[B]

So here we go. This was what made it all the worse, is that this was second semester of freshman year.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

First semester I had been as a freshman, which was pretty impressive at the time. I know you guys are gasping. I was cast in Sweeney Todd.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

The week that I got to school, there were auditions. It was the big musical. Everyone was like, you know, the thing about freshmen is don't expect to make it into these shows. Kids have been toiling for years straight out to get parts like this. And I was like, right, no, definitely like, I'm here to focus. I'm here to get just my reps in. Um, I got into Sweetie Todd. I was one of two freshmen in the show.

[A]

And I was like, ooh, okay. Team drinking a lot.

[B]

I was like, so excited. The show ends. Second semester rolls around this season, the musical Cats. And I was like, honey, so I've got this.

[A]

How many shows a year did your school do total?

[B]

I would say probably six or seven.

[A]

Oh, my God, how wild. Yeah, but I guess the performing arts.

[B]

That's right. That's what we're all here for, baby. Cats auditions roll around. It's second semester. I go, cool. I know Cats. I'm familiar with Cats. I love. I really want to be in it. I am going to sing Mr. Mistopheles, my favorite song in Cats. The gag is my voice hadn't dropped yet.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And so I was with a new voice teacher as a 14 year old, and he was like, it's no problem. We're going to have you sing it up the octave.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because you have a beautiful falsetto. Debatable.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And to the director, debatable as well. So I sang Mr. Mistoffelees. Boy, falsetto head voice. They were, of course, not feeling me.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Not even a callback.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry. Can you give us a little taste? I'M really digging in this one.

[B]

There's no way. Well, my voice has changed now. I couldn't even access the part of my voice that I was committed to in the whole song at that juncture. It's just not available to me anymore.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wish I sang.

[B]

Me too. I went to college for musical theater. I wish I sang.

[A]

So you don't sing?

[B]

Not in a way that, like, merits someone paying me for it.

[A]

Oh, fair.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All right. Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I want to, like, learn how to speak, sing so I can, like, trick people.

[B]

Do a little pattersong.

[A]

Yeah, just a little.

[B]

I am a very model of a modern material.

[A]

Yes. That's what I would love to do. And then. So did you date in high school?

[B]

No, I came out in, like, the interim between high school and college. So I told the very end of my senior year, I had a couple friends that I loved and closely confided in that I was gay. I actually told my parents first.

[A]

Aw.

[B]

Yes. Which is completely sweet. But then I did not do, like, a wide come out, got to college,

[A]

and I was like, you didn't do a rollout.

[B]

I've been gay. Yeah.

[A]

No, you just told.

[B]

I didn't do a press release until I got to college.

[A]

And then were you. Did you tell people you were straight in high school or you just were like, I'm not doing that?

[B]

No, I think. I mean, the official story was that I was straight, but I was undateable. I mean, a nerd. I, like, love musical theater. I was so nerdy. I was Mr. Goofy. Yeah. It was not on the table. It wasn't in the cards for me.

[A]

I always wonder about straight men in musical theater. I'm like, are you a predator? Because most of the men.

[B]

Quick answer.

[A]

Are gay. And then it's like all these women that you get to. Some of the nasty have a nice time with.

[B]

Yeah. Some of the nastiest freak bitches I ever met are straight guys that do musical theater.

[A]

What was dating like in college? Doing musical theater?

[B]

You know, I had one real boyfriend in college, and he was such a sweetie pie, like, amazing, big hearted, awesome, sweet guy. But it wasn't till the very end. So college for me was much more of, like, exploring, like, hooking up with people.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I think with queer people, there's such a delayed, like, dating growth thing. So I did. I think probably what everyone is doing at, like, 13, 14, 15, in, like, 18, 19, 20.

[A]

I identify with that as a fat black with bad acne. Dating was a little delayed for me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes, it really was. In college we. I went to amda, the American Musical and Dramatic Academy that some call Skamda. And rightfully so. It's an interesting place.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And. And our week long orientation included a man who I believe was wearing spandex, who was telling us about like sexual safety or like how to be safe when you have sex. Because he's like, it's inevitable you all will do it. And he was like, and if you're gonna eat out a woman, get some Saran Wrap, place it right up on there and go to town. And that. I don't know what else that man said to us, but it is.

[B]

Yeah, it'd be hard to remember anything else after that.

[A]

It is imprinted in my brain.

[B]

Saran Wrap. And that's still how you do it?

[A]

It's still how I do it to this day. Yeah. Of course there is Saran Wrap or cling wrap just right in the nightstand.

[B]

I always keep a little on me.

[A]

Rip it out.

[B]

And I'm like, you stay ready. You ain't gotta get ready.

[A]

Yeah, there we go. And then you just. And I'm like, lick it.

[B]

Yeah. Mess cleans itself up.

[A]

Yep. You just take that Saran Wrap, scoop it. Yeah. And it flies because it's filled with cum.

[B]

No. Yes, of course.

[A]

I feel like I almost killed you. Delicious.

[B]

That was shocking.

[A]

Sorry about it.

[B]

It was the natural conclusion. I don't know why it surprised me so much.

[A]

How did you get into so for musical theater? How was there a shift into interior design?

[B]

Total accident. I mean, the mural stuff happened because Jensen and I, we were living together at the time of lockdown. So Covid happened. I don't know if any of you guys had something like this happen to you, but we had this weird thing where we had to stay in our house. And so I think I just saw a mural online while we were locked inside. And I was like, oh, we could do something like that. And so I painted a little one and then I was like, that was so fun. Let's do more. And Jensen came on and started helping me. And then when we posted it on Instagram, I think all of our friends were like, do that for me, do that for me. And then it just snowballed into strangers and then businesses and then celebrities and then RuPaul and.

[A]

Which is incredible craziness. So fucking beautiful. Thank you. Your guys work is really incredible. So when you take a client on, how does the consultation go? Do they tell you exactly what they want? Do you come with ideas?

[B]

Usually we will have them send us a bunch of inspiration images. Be like, just vibe of what you like. If it's stuff that we've done, if it's stuff that you found on the Internet, just send us everything based on that. We'll give three pretty varied options. They'll pick one, give notes, and then we'll make adjustments to it. And hopefully that ends up becoming the last thing we do.

[A]

Nice, nice, nice.

[B]

But with some celebrity clients, like with RuPaul's house, the interior designer had already been like, this is the exact vibe that we want. So we really just got to go in and execute.

[A]

Hey, Nick. Yes, thank you.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

We have to take one more break.

[B]

No problem.

[A]

It will be the last one. I will not interrupt for a break again. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you see, stand out and succeed online. And honestly, in this day and age, if your website looks busted, people notice you need a space that looks professional and actually works. I feel like I am constantly clicking on links in people's bios and I see these stunning, gorgeous websites and I'm sitting here thinking, okay, a budget. Who did you hire? How much did this cost? And then I find out that they just did it themselves. On Squarespace, what's amazing is you don't need to know how to code to build something beautiful. They have this feature called Blueprint. You just tell it what you need and it builds a custom professional site for you. Instantly you get that expensive, cutting edge design. But you didn't have to sell a kidney to pay someone to do it. And it's not just about looking cute online. You can actually run a whole business. I see people selling merch, booking appointments, or even gating content behind paywalls. Squarespace handles the payments and the organization. So you just get to be a Boss. Head to squarespace.com date me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code date me to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Okay, let's talk about health care for a second. It's not just a job. It is a whole calling. It takes a special kind of person to do it. But I think a lot of us get stuck in that, like, dreaming phase. And if you're sitting there thinking, I really want to be a nurse or I really want to take my nursing career to the next level, but you're scared to make the jump, stop sitting on that feeling. You need the right people in your corner. And it starts with Chamberlain University. They have been preparing healthcare professionals for over 135 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, they actually have the resources to support you. And look, they know you have a life outside of school. That's why they have fully flexible options. Whether you need online classes, hybrid learning, or evening and weekend schedules. Plus, classes start every eight weeks so you can start when it works for you. They build a program around your life so you don't have to quit your job just to chase your dream. So stop waiting for someday. Learn more at chamberlain. Edu Chamberlain University Belong to something greater. Certified to operate by Chev if you're looking for your next great listen, this one comes from visionary creator Kenya Barris, the mind behind Blackish called Big Age. And it is a hilarious, heartwarming audible original comedy about love, aging and finding your way in life's next chapter. The cast alone is enough to is enough reason to listen. Big Age stars absolute comedy legends Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer and Niecy Nash Betts. The story follows a recently retired couple, Dot and Butch Watts. They make a reluctant relocation to their new Floridian home, Sunset Gardens. Now, you might expect a senior community to be quiet, but this place is anything but relaxing. Embarrasses world. Dot and Butch encounter a parade of unforgettable personalities who push their 50 year marriage to the limit. They're dealing with spiritually possessed neighbors, pesky pill pushing couples and a ferociously competitive character known as the Stevenator. Plus, there's plenty of drama like Butch's flirtatious ex flame Ethel, played by Niecy Nash Betts. Through a blend of outrageous comedy and touching revelations, Big Age explores what it means to grow older without growing old at heart. Listen to Kenya Barris new laugh out loud audible original comedy Big Age. Big Age. Age does funny things. Go to audible.com bigageseries to start listening today. That was the last one. How did it feel?

[B]

It was. The finality of it was a little overwhelming. But all good things must end.

[A]

All things? No. Does it ever happen to you where you try to repeat somebody and then you're like, oh, no, the words are all fucked up.

[B]

I give myself the simplest task and

[A]

even that can't do it.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Okay. How did you get into drag and how did you come up with the name True Detective? True Detective.

[B]

True Detective was a name I came up with in probably like 2017 or so. I was watching True Detective and I was like, True Detective. Okay, hold on, let Me get all my notes app. And then I started doing drag to be on Bad Drag Race.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oscar Montoya and Mono Agapion's show.

[A]

Yes. If you don't know, it's at Dynasty Typewriter. It is the crunchiest drag in la. It's amazing and it's so deeply funny. It's like the. The focus isn't on, like, how expensive is your look. It's very much like, we robbed this Michaels and put a look together.

[B]

And it's like, what is the stupidest possible idea that is going to win? Yeah, it's a fabulous show. And so, yeah, I got asked to be on that and I was like, well, I've had this name sitting in my pocket forever. And I came up with a storyline for Trudy, which is that a year ago her sister was murdered. She's really, really, really close to finding out who did it. And for the last three years now, she's been really close. She's so close.

[A]

I just think it's so funny to have a full blown storyline that you're just gonna keep doing.

[B]

Of course. Well, I have to catch him. I have to catch him.

[A]

You have to catch him. You absolutely have to.

[B]

And when I do, we will kiss. Probably the sexual tension between a detective and the murderer they're trying to kill. Unparalleled or kill. Catch and kill.

[A]

Yes. Catch and kill. Depends on what kind of detective you are.

[B]

Some of us are loose cannons.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Some of us are issuing two huge subpoenas tonight.

[A]

But I do feel like when I watch TV shows about a detective fight, like trying to find somebody, and they're like, oh, I'm so close.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And you're like, ooh, okay.

[B]

I'm like, you two are going to intercourse each other.

[A]

Intercourse each other to death. I love that so much. I just watched Wonder Man. Have you watched it?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. It's a Marvel show. Marvel's not paying me. I loved it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It is so incredible.

[B]

Is it new?

[A]

It's new. It's on Disney if you got it. Can you look up the lead's name? I believe it's Yahya. I don't know if I'm saying his name right. He's one of Yaya Abdul Mateen. Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He is. I saw him in Top Dog, Underdog, which is a play. It's a two hander. It's such a good play. I saw him in it. He was so captivating. He is incredible in this. And Ben Kingsley is also in it. Sir Ben Kingsley. Can you believe?

[B]

I can.

[A]

And I didn't know he was in Marvel stuff. And the nice man in my life was like, oh, is he playing the same character he played from Iron Man 3? And I was like, no. And then we watched it last night, and he was like, Nicole, he absolutely is. His whole storyline is based on Iron Man 3. And I was like, okay, okay. So you really want to just, like, a mansplain this to me?

[B]

Good, good, good, good reversal. Get him, get him, get him.

[A]

But it's such a fun time, and their friendship is so wonderful. But this, like, detective who's trying to get somebody don't want to ruin it. Like, he. He's got, like, this, like. I don't know. It feels like. It feels like when a man is. Like when you watch a TV show and a man, like, is rejected by the person they've asked out, that's what this detective feels like. He's like, come on, when's it gonna happen? When are you gonna. When are you gonna get him?

[B]

So, yeah, the horniness is there.

[A]

The horniness is there.

[B]

There is something inextricably horny about being hot on the heels of a killer. Being on the case, about having a huge caseload,

[A]

just a big load, and you're waiting for that Saran Wrap so you can release.

[B]

Sorry I'm late. We're not going to have one damn thing that we can clip. It's all going to get flagged.

[A]

Yeah, social media is going to be like, this was disgusting. What was this podcast even fucking about?

[B]

Pornhub pervert.

[A]

Oh, I wonder if I could upload this podcast to pornhub.

[B]

I don't know what would make it could.

[A]

I've heard that Pornhub pays a better CPM than YouTube, so people have been making actually, like, good money uploading content.

[B]

I feel like they might have to, due to all of the kind of ethical trouble they've been in over the years.

[A]

Oh, yeah, maybe that's a bad thing because, like, weren't they, like, trafficking people or something and just not doing a

[B]

good job of taking down revenge porn? They were like, there's nothing we can do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Awesome stance, you guys.

[A]

Well, if anyone works at hornhub Porn Pub, if anyone who works at pornhub wants to let me know how you guys are doing ethically and stuff, please let me know.

[B]

Yes, if you guys can prove good ethics, we will giggle and gag.

[A]

And then I'll upload my podcast there. And then in between squirting vids and gang bangs and bukake, you can listen to why you can listen to watch why Won't yout Date Me. Bukake is such a funny name for what it is.

[B]

Yes, it is. I was. I had heard the word so long before I realized what it meant.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And my imagination ran wild with what I thought it could be.

[A]

I thought this is not. I'm not making it up. I thought it had to do with like cake or something, which is pretty wild. But like bukake kake. Cake.

[B]

Cake, yes, of course.

[A]

I don't know. But it is the name of a dish. There is such thing called bukkake Udon.

[B]

That's likely. That's probably where it comes from.

[A]

Oh yeah. Oh, maybe it does. Yeah. I'm not sure. Is it like a creamy udon with a lot of cum in it? It's a chilled noodles and a savory broth.

[B]

It's a chilled cum noodle. Yeah.

[A]

Just a bunch of things in it. It interesting.

[B]

Oh, taste the rainbow.

[A]

I don't also like a bukkake. I don't think I'd like it.

[B]

No.

[A]

Just a lot of people coming right on you.

[B]

No, it just. I feel like diminishing returns on the excitement there.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz then you're just like sitting there wet and cold.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cuz cum does not stay hot for very long.

[B]

Right. And the text and the texture changes quickly.

[A]

It does.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Crusts right up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not designed to last. The shelf life could not be shorter. That's why they don't sell it at grocery stores.

[A]

That's the exact reason why they're dying too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And honestly, why can't AI try to figure out how to keep cum hot on you?

[B]

Wake that up. We have the best scientists in the world. We've been to the moon and we can't keep my cum hot.

[A]

That's crazy. Come on, let's heat up that cum.

[B]

Let's heat up that cum. Your new intro.

[A]

Wait, Nick, can I ask you a question? Say you meet somebody. This is a year from now. When your heart is open, ready, full and plump.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And you are like talking and it's been like. It's been like three months. And you're like, I really, really like this person.

[B]

Yeah. And so amazing, right?

[A]

Yeah, it's. And I want this for you. Well, not this scenario, but what would you do? Okay, what would you do?

[B]

Shit.

[A]

If they were like, Nick, I'm really sorry I've been lying to you. I hate musical theater and I never want to see a musical again. Also, I don't like drag. And I do love your paint. I love that you paint. How would you feel?

[B]

The musical theater thing is a non issue. I don't really need my partner to love it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think it's fine. But I also, I don't. I don't honestly engage with musical theater in my day to day so often.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We're good. I don't like drag.

[A]

I don't like live performances. Oh,

[B]

I can imagine a way where we make this work. Oh, I don't like concerts. Sorry.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I haven't gotten to the bottom of it.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

But every time I've gone to a concert, I've been like, not loving this. I love music. I love listening to music. I love studio. I love listening to a live recording.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't love a concert.

[A]

That's really curious to me. I love a concert and most people do.

[B]

Concerts are huge.

[A]

Yeah. People fill stadiums to go to see these people.

[B]

There are hundreds of thousands of people probably daily that are going to concerts, living their life like it's golden.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And not included. I don't count myself among them. I also. I don't need my partner at all my shows.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

What was the third thing? Cause I remember being like, oh, that might be an issue. Oh, no, they love paint.

[A]

Yeah, they love that you paint. They're turned on that you paint.

[B]

Yeah. That's gonna be hard because I don't. I'm not turned on that I paint. I paint. Like painting is this big thing that happened by accident that I'm like, this is a sick day job. But I do not have a passion in my heart for that. None of my creative.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

It's fun. It's an amazing way to make money and meet people and be creative. But the, like, the engine in me that wants to make art doesn't care. Couldn't give less of a shit if that happens via painting.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah. That is just an amazing, happy accident.

[A]

That's really interesting to me that you have a job that is fully, like, creative and you're like, meh, take it or leave it. I don't need to do this to, like, fulfill things in my life.

[B]

Yes. I would rather do it than any other sort of day job. And doing it with Jensen is really fun. And he is very good at the actual act of, like, creating beautiful shapes, like the stroke pattern, et cetera. And I do all the designing and I do like doing that kind of plotting, but it isn't. Doesn't fill the well.

[A]

Can I ask. Working with a former partner. So you Were together, started a business, broke up, continued the business. Was that hard?

[B]

Excruciating. Every moment of it was torture. Until it wasn't. It also happened during the height of the most successful we ever were. So we did Trixie Motel and got all of this publicity. We ended up then getting the RuPaul job. Martin Lawrence Bullard, who is the interior

[A]

designer, who's Martin Bashine?

[B]

There's no way to know. Okay, jury's out. He was like, you guys could meet Ru. We could have her come here and make a little video with you. And we were both like, neither of us are in a mental headspace. Like, interacting with each other is the top of the mountain of labor we can do. So do not bring RuPaul here. And then it just got easier. We just. We processed through all of the, like, in between us stuff. We both found different partners and love in different ways, had different heartbreaks and hard times that we then were able to lean on each other for. And, yeah, I feel lucky to still have found a way to keep that relationship in whatever version it is.

[A]

That's really sweet. Yeah, that's incredibly sweet. I also. I think I said earlier that you have, like, an incredible self awareness, and you kind of, like, you were like, whatever, but, like, you really do. Because I feel like a lot of people would be like, meet RuPaul. Do a video with RuPaul. That'll, you know, make our careers, like, evolve even faster if that goes viral or something. But I, like, you had the self awareness, you and Jensen, to be like, we can't do this. We do not have the bandwidth or the space.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's something I would love to learn. I am constantly stretching myself too thin for either an opportunity or, like, to help a friend or to do something that I'm like, I feel like I should be doing. And I'm very envious of that quality of you.

[B]

It's a blessing and a curse. I will say. The self awareness sometimes is, like, totally crippling. And I'm like, stop. Don't look at yourself. This is me saying, step away from the mirror. When you look inward and go into the mirror, where you see if there's something in your teeth. For the love of God.

[A]

This is not the same thing, but I got off a plane on Sunday, and I had made plans to go pick up a Ninja Creamy from a man in Pasadena.

[B]

So is that a euphemism or.

[A]

No, it's a ice cream maker.

[B]

I feel when she pick up my Ninja Creamy.

[A]

Mm. My Ninja Creamie Girl, come over and

[B]

pick up my Ninja creami.

[A]

I wish it was a euphemism. It'd be a wild euphemism.

[B]

Totally. But I, you have to explain what it is.

[A]

Oh, it's an ice cream maker.

[B]

Oh, it's Ninja brand.

[A]

Yes, a ninja brand. And it's called creamy. And it creamifies ice cream with creamy technology.

[B]

Go find me, captain.

[A]

And I landed, and I hadn't slept the night before because I had an early flight and I was worried about not waking up for the flight. So I was exhausted and like, kind of spinning out. And then I was like, but I have to go get this Ninja cr. And I was like, I knew I was landing, so I don't know why I didn't give myself the grace and had the self awareness that I'd be so tired that I wouldn't want to do that. But instead I took it. I, I, I messaged that man on Facebook Marketplace because. Because I'm trying to not buy new things. I'm trying to buy used old things. Old creamies. I want that old ninja.

[B]

I wanna know the creamies been around the block.

[A]

So I told that man, I was like, I actually can't pick this up now. Can I pick it up later? And he was like, I'm moving. And I was like, okay. So then I went and picked it up at 5pm and all the lights were off in the house and the yard was overgrown, and I was like, uh, oh, did I overextend myself? And I'm gonna get murdered, right? Turns out, no. He came from the backyard with that Ninja creamy. And I drove it on home and I made some ice cream later that night.

[B]

Uh, what flavor?

[A]

Um, so I found. Have you ever had pink milk or strawberry milk? Nesquik. Strawberry milk.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So I made a base of vanilla with pink milk mix. So I made like, like artificially flavored strawberry ice cream that was delicious.

[B]

Put anything else in it?

[A]

No, just that. And then I made another one with vanilla ice cream. And I put Reese's peanut butter cups, peanut butter and chocolate sauce, and it creamed right up and it was so good. And that nice man who's in my life, who he's not a huge sweet treat person.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He even was like, nicole, I'm not

[B]

either, but the stuff you're saying out loud is gonna make me cream. If I'm being honest.

[A]

Yes, you will cream. Holy co. And I was so excited every time I hit light ice cream because I. There's an ice cream setting and a light ice cream setting, and I think the light ice cream works a little bit better. I would clap until it was done, and then I would cheer right before tasting it, and then I would dance a little after tasting it. Nick, this sounds. So you got to get an interesting.

[B]

It's made me so happy. I'm like, you're lighting. Like, the light in your eyes is bright as shit.

[A]

Oh, well, that nice man in my life had gone out, and I texted him at, like, 10:30. I was like, hey, do you need me to. Do you want to. Do you want me to, like, wait for you to make this ice cream or, like, can I make the ice cream? And he was like, I'd love for you to wait for me. And I was like, but then you're,

[B]

like, my one joy in this life, truly.

[A]

But then after all of that, he was like, I just want to tell you, I'm. I'm really grateful that you showed restraint and you didn't make the ice cream without me, because I really liked us making it together. And I was like, hey, that was sweet, but the fact that you understand the restraint it took is even sweeter.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry. Like, you guys have such a tender love.

[A]

He's really, really sweet to me, and, like, very much understands me.

[B]

He sounds amazing. Is he single?

[A]

Unfortunately.

[B]

He's talking about the guy that you're dating.

[A]

No, he's not actually weird, and he's chill about things. He's a white. And we went out to dinner the other night, and I like to put, you know, on, like, open table. It's like, are you celebrating a birthday, an anniversary? So last time we went to this restaurant, I said it was our anniversary. It wasn't. So this time, I was like, well, I'll put celebration. And our server was like, what are you celebrating? And I was like, oh, shit, I forgot. And I went, black History Month. And she went, okay. And then they were out of a dish. And she was like, I'm really sorry. And I was like, but did you tell them what I'm celebrating? And she went, I sure didn't. And it made me laugh so hard. And he laughed, and he was. He was fine with. He. He likes that. I like fun.

[B]

I feel like, as a server, if someone came in and said that they're. They were celebrating Black History Month, I would be like, your meal's comped. Like, it's comped. It's on. If it's not on the house, it's on me. Sorry about what happened.

[A]

That's really funny. And I decided this Black History Month, I'm going to say it everywhere I go. What are you celebrating? Black History Month.

[B]

You got four days.

[A]

Maybe I'll get a free meal out of it.

[B]

If you don't get one free meal during the course. I can't stop myself like this.

[A]

I'd do America.

[B]

Yeah. It's about damn time.

[A]

Heard it here first. Nick. We have come to the end. Do you have any advice for single people?

[B]

I would say decide percentage wise between the two mirrors. One which looks inward and one that helps you check your hair and your teeth. Make a goal for what percentage you want to spend in each mirror and spend some time in one. The other. Both but decide a little bit about where you want to be at what time.

[A]

I like that. I like that. We keep coming back to mirrors.

[B]

I pick one metaphor per podcast and I don't fucking let it go. I sink my closet.

[A]

I love it. That's commitment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Another question. I've asked almost all of my guests this.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I've forgotten it a couple of times.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Would you date me? Yeah.

[B]

I think we'd have so much fun.

[A]

I think so too.

[B]

Especially now that you. I know you have a creamy.

[A]

I would cream so much for you.

[B]

We would cream out.

[A]

Do you have anything you want to

[B]

promote my podcast art to me? It comes out on Thursdays. Nicole was our first guest for the most recent season. And we also have people that you love like Meatball and the girls from IMHO and Motto and Oscar. So please tune into that. I am performing as True Detective all over Los Angeles and Palm Springs in the Southern California area. I will likely be ready to date again in a mysterious number of months. But in the interim, anyone that wants to reach out to me with an affirmation to say that, hey, you know, I think you're sexy and hot, or you have a beautiful, gorgeous mind, or I've always had a thing for six foot six weirdos. I feel like self describing as a weirdo. Gross. And I didn't mean that six. Six guys who are frankly cool as shit say those things to me because

[A]

I could use the Boost Boost mobile. So if you like this episode of why won't you date me? You could like it, you could rate it, you could subscribe and give me five stars on Apple podcasts if you write me something nasty. Hitting on me to why won't you date me? PodcastMail.com I will read it. Just a little reminder. If we could keep them short, that would be ideal. This person writes, dear Nicole, you are so hot and funny. Thank you. Let me come over after your sweaty from Polarobics and use me for your amusement. When you are hoarse with laughter, we can finger each other till we collapse in a bubble bath the size of three jacuzzis. That nice man better not be reading this from my secret admirer.

[B]

Oh my God, that's awesome.

[A]

Okay, goodbye. That was a hit.

[C]

Gum Podcast Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds and I have a new podcast on Head Gum called Next we have now this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't because you now legally have to listen to the show.

[B]

That's how Law works.

[C]

Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or no Meal and Steph Tolov and I go head to head on a thought provoking game called Guess that Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds and we probably have more fun than we should, but it's a great time and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next we have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast.

[B]

Apparently.