Podcast Summary: "Why Won't You Scare Me?"

Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer (Oct 31, 2025)

Guest: Mano Agapion
Theme: Halloween, Costume Chaos & Relationship Real Talk

Episode Overview

This special Halloween episode bursts with laughter, offbeat costumes, and heartfelt conversations about love, friendship, and owning your weird. Nicole, dressed as a “slutty Elmo,” and Mano as “slutty Chucky,” swap wild stories ranging from haunted houses to haunted Zoom calls, all while gently unraveling the messy, hilarious realities of dating, being single, and being loved for who you are—even at your weirdest. The episode is full of raunchy humor, candid revelations, and an energetic, affectionate tone between longtime friends.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Halloween Costumes & Friendship History

• Nicole and Mano open the episode in full costume, with Nicole as "slutty Elmo" (a nod to her grandfather, whose real name is Elmo), Mano as "slutty Chucky."
  • [05:58] Nicole: “So I decided to dress up as a slutty Elmo.”
  • [06:01] Mano: “Elmo has always been trying to get tickled since the 90s...we are childlike, yet also nasty.”
• They reminisce about their comedic history and adventures emceeing shows, mistakenly assuming Mano was Latina for five years, only to learn he’s Greek.
  • [04:33] Nicole: “Then what are you? ...my friend said, Greek. And I said, that makes sense.”

2. Makeup Mishaps & Zoom Faux Pas

• Mano botches his lipstick, Nicole teases him about “blood on bicuspids.”
  • [06:41] Mano: “I knew. It’s all over those bicuspids.”
• Both recount hilariously awkward pandemic-era Zoom moments:
  • Mano appears naked on his husband’s work call ([07:45]); Nicole interrupts a Zoom class asking for enchiladas ([07:21]).

3. Spooky Season Shenanigans

• Mano disses the LA Haunted Hayride as “run by drunk children” ([09:38]), but both love Halloween’s atmosphere.
• Nicole reveals a habit of overcommitting and double-booking events (“Virgo problems”; [10:02]), Juxtaposing stress with therapist-advised boundaries.

4. Drag, Bad Drag Race & Flavors of Weirdness

• Mano’s show “Bad Drag Race” celebrates drag’s “ugly, weird” side, not just polished glamour ([11:19]).
• Both praise drag queen Cory King’s “weird shit,” and Aja’s unique cosplay ([12:05]).
• Nicole admits insecurity (“loose skin, but sometimes I really like it...some people just wave, but I’m giving you a double wave”; [13:27]).

5. Dating, Ghosting, and Actual Ghosts

• They transition to dating topics by discussing “ghosting” and segue into Mano’s real ghost story from a haunted house in Greece. Mano describes seeing a shadow figure, which matches a child’s drawing by his brother-in-law decades ago, deeply creeping Nicole out ([15:29]-[18:42]).
  • [18:22] Mano: “[He] opens an old book, shows me a drawing... with a black figure with hands to the ground. And he said, did you see him?”
• Both agree: “Don’t leave the bed if you see a ghost” ([19:09]).

6. Advocating For Yourself (Restaurant Stories & Life Hackery)

• Nicole proudly shares her unabashed restaurant behavior—asking for extra ice cream, refusing bad vibes, walking out of a steakhouse after weird service ([19:46]-[22:36]).
• Mano admits learning from Nicole: “I’m learning that from you...do you have bread back there? And they did.”
• Both swap “life hacks” for getting discounts, like creating fake assistant emails to score deals ([23:54]).

7. The Ritual of Love and Putting Yourself Out There

• Nicole and Mano discuss “love spells,” “manifesting romance,” and heartbreak over unreciprocated love.
  • [30:03] Nicole: “I dated someone for close to two years...wouldn’t even say they were my boyfriend. And I was ready to give it all to you.”
• They reflect on the emotional “illness” of immediately offering their hearts, and agree healing requires finding “the right person you can’t say the wrong thing to” ([31:47]-[32:03]).
  • [31:50] Nicole: “You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.”
  • [32:40] Mano: “That’s what I’ve gotten better at...just asking for what I need.”

8. Friendship, Worthiness, and Self-Talk

• Both discuss the sting of loneliness and the importance of remembering how many people “choose you.”
  • [36:29] Mano: “Think about all the people who choose you...take a step back and be like, how many people in your life choose you?”
  • Nicole emphasizes self-love as foundation for boundaries ([35:31]): “You gotta like you...so you’re not going to let a person from the outside treat you poorly because you treat yourself nice.”

9. Birthday “Funeral,” Parties, and Saying Nice Things

• Nicole plans to host her “birthday as a funeral” next year, complete with eulogies, purple & leopard print attire, and catering from Gus’s Chicken ([37:14]-[38:19]).
• Mano recounts family funeral “lies” about not-so-nice relatives, and admits to having to eulogize a grandmother who broke his Gameboy ([39:11]).

10. Sex, Kinks, and Wild Psychic Readings

• Mano shares a bizarre “star chart” reading at the Eagle bar that turned into a surprise, and not entirely welcome, physical inspection ([44:06] Mano: “Reaches his hand into the back of my pants...puts his finger up my asshole and says, ‘Oh, your anus is in Mars.’”).
• They riff on sexual boundaries; Nicole affirms willingness to help a partner explore kinks, “I think I would be like, okay, yeah, well, let’s talk this through” ([46:15]).

11. First Times, Salsa Dancers, and Nicole’s Unusual Garage

• Mano confesses he lost his virginity to a man from his college salsa dancing team, to “Sexy Back” by Justin Timberlake ([50:18]).
• They delight in their collective “clown” energy, evidenced by oddities in Nicole’s garage (fake dicks, dummies, roller skates—“They came in and said: clown. And it hurt my feelings until I thought about it: ‘Yeah, I guess I am a little bit of a clown.’” [53:07]).

12. Advice for Singles and Relationship Lessons

• Mano’s heartfelt advice: “If you feel beautiful, people think you’re beautiful. Channel what you’re good at, smile, be yourself” ([59:07]-[60:08]).
• Nicole agrees loving yourself attracts others, and that since being secure in her relationship, she gets more attention than ever ([61:00]).
  • [60:21] Nicole: “Figure out who you are and be yourself. When you love yourself and you’re solid, your person is going to love that person.”
  • [61:06] Nicole: “When I didn’t have him, nobody was hitting on me. This is weird.”

13. Relationships, Opposites, and “Would You Date Me?”

• They discuss couples who are “the same” and are both baffled by people dating their lookalikes.
• Nicole jokes, “Would you date me?” Mano says yes, but, “I think we’d be bad together...too much hugging, talking, never sleep” ([72:08]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.” —Nicole Byer [31:50]
• “When you love yourself and you’re solid, your person is going to love that person.” —Nicole Byer [60:21]
• “Think about all the people who choose you… at the end of the day when you’re like, ‘I’m lonely,’ take a step back.” —Mano Agapion [36:29]
• “You were just like, ‘Thank you so much for being up in there.’” —Nicole Byer, on Mano’s wild psychic [45:21]
• “I decided to dress up as a slutty Elmo.” —Nicole Byer [05:58]
• “Elmo admonishes you. Elmo says, no nasty.” —Nicole Byer as Slutty Elmo [67:15]
• “Your anus is in Mars.” —Mano quoting his unsolicited star chart reading [44:27]
• “We would enable each other every night to do something terrible.” —Nicole and Mano on why they’d be a terrible couple [72:11]

Important Segments by Timestamp

• Costumes & Comedy Friendship Origin: [04:33]-[06:13]
• Makeup/Lipstick Mishaps: [06:16]-[07:13]
• Spooky LA Events, Schedules: [09:35]-[10:11]
• Drag & Weirdness/Bad Drag Race: [11:11]-[12:55]
• Ghost Story in Greece: [15:29]-[18:42]
• Restaurant Shenanigans & Life Hacks: [19:46]-[23:54]
• Love, Ghosting, Over-Giving in Relationships: [29:40]-[33:59]
• Self-Love & Friendship Reflection: [36:29]-[37:14]
• Birthday Funeral Plan: [37:14]-[38:19]
• Star Chart Psychic/Butthole Reading: [44:06]-[45:21]
• Kink Openness Discussion: [46:04]-[46:24]
• Losing Virginity to a Salsa Dancer: [50:01]-[51:35]
• Self-Worth, Dating Advice: [59:07]-[61:00]
• Would You Date Me?: [72:06]-[72:26]

Tone & Takeaways

• Raunchy, playful, honest, and heartwarming. Nicole’s trademark blend of wild candor and emotional insight is on full display, with Mano perfectly matched in energy and openness.
• The power of self-acceptance: The episode encourages listeners to embrace their uniqueness, advocate for their needs, and value every kind of love (romantic, platonic, and self-love).
• Relatable chaos: From pandemic nakedness to haunted bedrooms to weird sexual encounters—everyone’s a little weird inside.
• Unfiltered advice: “Be yourself,” as trite as it sounds, really works; also, don’t be afraid to ask for what you want—whether it’s bread or emotional reassurance.

Final Thought

This Halloween episode showcases not only why Nicole Byer is one of the most delightfully unfiltered podcast hosts out there, but also how friendship and laughter—and sometimes even a “slutty Elmo” costume—can shine a light on life, love, and everything scary (and sexy) in between.

For more unhinged stories and wisdom, listen to Why Won’t You Date Me? wherever you get your podcasts!