Episode Overview
Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer
Episode: Your Favorite Queen’s Favorite Seamstress (w/ Danny Godoy)
Date: January 30, 2026
This episode features comedian Nicole Byer and drag artist/seamstress Danny Godoy (often “Goodoy”), known for crafting iconic looks for RuPaul’s Drag Race stars. Their conversation weaves between hilarious dating mishaps, sex positivity, the art and chaos of sewing for drag, and deeper questions about self-worth and relationships. The episode maintains Nicole’s trademark raunchy humor and heartfelt introspection, creating space for honest storytelling and plenty of laughter.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Sewing, Craft Nights, and Drag Fashion (02:23–06:01, 21:00–23:03, 47:08–49:03)
- Nicole recounts learning to sew and failed craft nights with friends Meatball and Danny, where Meatball ditched after planning ("They didn't fucking show up." — Nicole, 04:36).
- Danny brought Nicole sewing supplies and Taylor’s chalk as gifts.
- They discuss how the hardest part of sewing is often cutting and pinning patterns (“It’s crazy, the pinning. Oh, my God.” — Nicole, 05:45).
- Danny shares his origin story: his aunt taught him to sew, with more formal skills honed at a rec center in Torrance, then at fashion school. He started young: “I've been sewing for almost 16 years now. I just say over 15.” (23:03)
- Drag inspiration came from family drag shows in LA, and later, a competitive friendship: “I can do it better!” (48:12). His drag debut was in 2013, and he describes his early looks as “busted.”
2. Dating Status, Relationship Manifestation, and Self-Awareness (06:01–13:14, 35:50–43:55)
- Danny admits he’s "not actively dating, but...fucking" (06:06), and feels unsure about wanting a relationship.
- They discuss the challenges of being “too much” (“Bitch, whoever’s gonna watch is gonna watch it for who you are.” — Danny, 07:33), and why honesty and directness are crucial in dating:
“If you wanna date me, just tell me what you want. Tell me what you’re thinking, because I cannot read social cues when it comes to dating, apparently.”
(Danny, 08:43) - Danny missed an opportunity with someone due to mutual silence; Nicole commiserates, saying lack of communication is a “red flag.”
- They talk about the difficulty of being single within a circle of “great friends,” where dating someone means “the threshold for our partner to fuck up is really low, because everyone knows.”
- On manifesting relationships, Danny’s therapist has him reframe what he wants by focusing on positive qualities; clear communication and loving his dog, Coco, are non-negotiable.
- They explore boundaries: Danny insists partners can't befriend his friends independently (“That feels crazy.” — Nicole, 40:50).
3. Dating Stories & Sex Talks (10:36–13:14, 16:09–20:56)
- Danny’s worst date: a glamorous hotel dinner at the Huntley ends with oral chlamydia (“He didn't even put out.” — Danny, 11:34).
- Sex-positive stories abound: using Theraguns for masturbation (and during sex), lube discussions (“Coconut oil is the best lube ever.” — Danny, 19:07), and early sexual experiences with challenging anatomy:
“Andrew...his dick was huge. ...It was a two hander.”
(Danny, 17:43, 18:36) - Nicole and Danny agree sex communication and hygiene (“Take a shower and wash your dirty dick.” — Nicole, 20:19) are vital.
- Humor, openness, and learning from awkward experiences are celebrated.
4. Personal Wellness, Dental Nightmares & Self-Care (23:10–32:46)
- Nicole shares an epic dental saga: a botched root canal left an instrument inside her tooth, causing years of pain—unknown by multiple dentists (“My mouth really hurts. And they were like, impossible. We took the nerves out.” — Nicole, 24:00).
- She discusses the importance of getting a specialist and a second opinion for dental work. Danny empathizes deeply.
- The two riff on aging, memory, and the absurdities of healthcare bureaucracy.
5. Mental Health and Therapy (35:50–36:10, 42:52–43:09)
- Danny talks about being in therapy for five years and using Wellbutrin.
- Nicole shares that Wellbutrin made her want to quit smoking, so she discontinued it.
- Danny notes the need for partners to "know their triggers" or at least be willing to learn ("If you don’t know any of that, be willing to learn." — Danny, 42:53).
6. Red and Green Flags in Dating (38:40–45:48)
- Major green flag: openness to famous friends; red flag: being uncomfortable or weird about being in social circles with famous people.
- Another green flag: understanding the state of your relationship with your family and, if not close, being honest about the reasons.
- Red flags include superficial judgments (car choices) and uncleanliness—especially regarding pets and shared spaces.
- “I actually care how clean your house is. Not where you work, but, like your bathroom and your kitchen.” (Danny, 44:12)
- Empathy for depression’s impact on cleaning, but reiteration that clean-up is necessary when possible.
7. Fame, Friendship, and Social Boundaries (38:15–41:53)
- Nicole and Danny discuss the unique weirdness of dating as funny or famous people, including people using old associations for clout.
- “If that's your hook between the last 15 years, then you're not doing something right.” (Danny, 41:51)
8. Drag Show Highlights & Promotion (53:35–54:11)
- Danny plugs his weekly Drag Bingo and RuPaul’s Drag Race viewing party (“every Friday, I’m at 33 Tops in West Hollywood…”), and an upcoming Bad Bunny-themed Super Bowl party.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On taking up sewing:
“I had a reputation of doing things and not actually doing it. And when I said I wanted to learn how to sew, my mom was like, yeah, yeah, whatever. Go ask your Thea. And I went to my Thea, and she kind of taught me the basics, and I grasped it on really quickly.”
(Danny, 21:15) -
Sex and the magic of coconut oil:
“And if I don’t—well, actually, the person that introduced me to it was my best friend and she’s a woman. … It’s antimicrobial. … Also, if you put it on a dick, it smells good. If it’s a dirty dick … you’re like, oh, we should go to the shower.”
(Danny & Nicole, 19:07–19:54) -
Dating in queer creative circles:
“There was a lot of my adult life or 20s, where I was like, ‘I'm too much.' … Bitch, whoever’s gonna watch is gonna watch it for who you are.”
(Danny, 07:33) -
On self-worth and green flags:
“You need to be cool with the fact that my friends are famous. … You and your friends are famous, so you get this.”
(Danny, 38:09–38:40) -
Dental horror story:
“I’ve been in pain since 2023. Even though these people said, ‘You’re not in pain.’ Went and got a second opinion … ‘Yep, that’s an instrument in your mouth. That tooth’s gotta go.’”
(Nicole, 26:19–27:59) -
Classic sign-off:
“Would you date me?”
“Bring that Theragun over and we’re a couple.”
(Nicole and Danny, 52:28–52:31) -
Hilarious comment on online haters:
“This person said I had roach-like fingers that were probably dusted with Cheeto dust. … If you just used your power for good, you could probably write poetry.”
(Nicole, 53:08–53:26)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Sewing mishaps, gifts, and craft night story: 02:23–06:01
- Dating status and communication in relationships: 06:01–08:43
- Missed romantic cues and learning from the past: 08:43–10:31
- Worst date ever (oral chlamydia): 10:36–12:19
- Sex, Theraguns, and coconut oil revelation: 16:09–20:56
- Danny’s sewing origin & years of practice: 21:00–23:03
- Nicole’s dental nightmare & the saga of the instrument: 23:10–32:46
- Manifesting relationships & red/green flags: 35:50–43:55
- Car talk & why cleanliness matters more than cars: 43:54–45:48
- Drag & earliest drag exposure: 47:08–49:03
- Promo: drag bingos, upcoming shows: 53:35–54:11
- Lightning round: “Would you date me?” and sign-off: 52:28–52:41
Takeaways
- The art of drag couture and friendship is messy, joyful, and collaborative.
- Both Nicole and Danny value honesty, self-awareness, and direct communication in relationships.
- Fame and creative circles complicate friendships and dating; boundaries are needed.
- Sex and body positivity flourish through humor and open conversation.
- Never neglect your health—dental or otherwise—and always get a second opinion!
- Even within ridiculous and raunchy stories, there’s a throughline of community care, laughter, and personal growth.
This summary captures the colorful, candid, and hilarious spirit of Nicole Byer’s podcast, highlighting the heartfelt moments between drag, dating, and DIY.