Wiser Than Me™ Season 3: Julia Louis-Dreyfus Interviews Isabel Allende

Episode: Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Isabel Allende
Release Date: June 11, 2025
Host: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Guest: Isabel Allende
Production: Lemonada Media

Introduction

In the season premiere of Season 3 of Wiser Than Me™, Julia Louis-Dreyfus sits down with the acclaimed Chilean author Isabel Allende. The conversation delves deep into themes of feminism, motherhood, personal regrets, the writing process, and the nuances of aging. Together, they explore the complexities of womanhood, the power dynamics in personal and professional realms, and the profound experiences that shape one's life and work.

Feminism and Gender Inequality

Early Realizations and Family Dynamics

Isabel Allende opens up about her early recognition of gender inequality, inspired by observing her mother's struggles.
Isabel Allende [13:15]:

"I saw my mother... she had no money, no power of decision... she was totally dependent."

Generational Shifts in Feminism

She discusses the generational divide between her and her mother regarding feminism. While Isabel was a fervent advocate from a young age, her mother remained apprehensive.
Isabel Allende [14:25]:

"My mother was scared of feminism because she thought I would get a lot of aggression."

Modern Feminism Without Labels

Julia reflects on her own approach to feminism, emphasizing actions over labels, to which Isabel agrees.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [15:28]:

"I behave like it, I live my life like it, but I shy away from the word."
Isabel Allende [15:54]:
"You don't need to say it, it's just there."

Motherhood and Personal Relationships

Complex Relationship with Her Mother

Isabel shares the depth of her relationship with her mother, characterized by daily letters and profound mutual understanding.
Isabel Allende [17:08]:

"We kept writing to each other every day all our lives. In the garage of my office, I have 24,000 letters."

Regrets and Reconciliation

She candidly discusses her past mistakes, including abandoning her children during a tumultuous period, and the long road to reconciliation.
Isabel Allende [41:38]:

"I abandoned my children. And if you ask me what is the thing I regret the most in my life, that's it."

Current Family Dynamics

Despite past regrets, Isabel highlights the positive relationships with her grown children and grandchildren.
Isabel Allende [46:24]:

"My son Nico is married and very happily married. And my daughter-in-law runs my foundation and she's my best friend."

The Writing Process and Evolution

Passion Over Profit

Isabel emphasizes writing for the love of the craft rather than for fame or financial gain.
Isabel Allende [65:34]:

"Don't expect your writing to give you fame or money. Write because you love the process."

Growth as an Author

She reflects on how her approach to writing has matured over the years, from a spontaneous storyteller to a disciplined author who meticulously edits her work.
Isabel Allende [66:37]:

"Now I know how to research... I am merciless cutting."

Subject Matter and Inspiration

Isabel discusses her choice of subjects, especially after personal tragedies, illustrating how her experiences shape her narratives.
Isabel Allende [69:13]:

"If I don't have that feeling of being passionate about the subject that I'm tackling, it's a chore and I cannot do it."

Aging with Grace and Reflection

Embracing Freedom in Older Age

At 80, Isabel shares her sense of liberation from societal obligations, focusing only on what brings her joy and excluding the need to please others.
Isabel Allende [09:32]:

"The best part about being your age is that you don't have to please anybody."

Preparation for a Good Old Age

She advises proactive preparation for a fulfilling older age, encompassing health, relationships, and personal growth.
Isabel Allende [75:47]:

"You need to have good health and aging to have a good old age. You have to prepare for it."

Generosity and Relationships

Isabel underscores the importance of generosity and meaningful relationships in ensuring a satisfying later life.
Isabel Allende [76:49]:

"Why would you be loved if you have not loved? Why would you be taken care of if you have never taken care of anybody."

Spirituality, Death, and Legacy

Views on Spirituality and Death

Isabel expresses a non-religious but spiritually aware perspective on life and death, emphasizing organic justice and the natural cycle of existence.
Isabel Allende [49:48]:

"I believe that there is organic justice and whatever I do, I will have to pay for the good and the bad."

Personal Experiences with Loss

She shares her poignant experiences of losing loved ones, reflecting on the differing attitudes towards death within her family.
Isabel Allende [53:58]:

"When Paola died... we created a sort of hospital there for her... it was very similar to the moment when Paola died."

Legacy Through Writing and Family

Isabel discusses how her writings and teachings serve as her legacy, perpetuating her values and lessons learned from personal losses.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus [74:02]:

"You need to start writing me a letter or something."

Final Reflections and Advice

Self-Compassion and Letting Go

Isabel advises younger selves to be more compassionate and less rigorous, emphasizing the importance of allowing oneself to have fun and let go of unnecessary burdens.
Isabel Allende [74:02]:

"Calm down, for God's sake. You don't have to do everything. Give yourself some time."

Embracing the Present and Letting Go of the Past

She encourages embracing current relationships and experiences while forgiving oneself for past mistakes, recognizing the ever-changing nature of personal identity.
Isabel Allende [44:36]:

"We change a lot, Julia, in our lives. The person I was at 35 is not the same that that was holding my daughter when she was dying and I was 50."

Conclusion

The conversation between Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Isabel Allende offers a profound exploration of life’s complexities through the lens of an extraordinary woman who has navigated love, loss, and creative expression with unwavering strength. Isabel's candid reflections provide listeners with invaluable insights into the resilience required to overcome personal tragedies, the importance of authentic self-expression, and the liberating journey of aging gracefully.

Notable Quotes

• Isabel Allende [09:32]:
  "The best part about being your age is that you don't have to please anybody."

• Isabel Allende [65:34]:
  "Write because you love the process."

• Isabel Allende [75:47]:
  "You need to have good health and aging to have a good old age. You have to prepare for it."

• Isabel Allende [76:49]:
  "Why would you be loved if you have not loved? Why would you be taken care of if you have never taken care of anybody."

• Isabel Allende [74:02]:
  "Calm down, for God's sake. You don't have to do everything. Give yourself some time."

Wiser Than Me™ continues to celebrate the wisdom and experiences of remarkable women, offering listeners laughter, tears, and invaluable lessons from those who have truly lived.