Podcast Summary: Women & ADHD – Episode 208

Guest: Alex Pelletier

Title: Coaching vs. Therapy for ADHD

Release Date: April 6, 2026
Host: Katy Weber

Episode Overview

In this episode, host Katy Weber interviews Alex Pelletier, Senior Manager of Coaching at Shimmer, about the distinctions between coaching vs. therapy for ADHD. They explore how coaching psychology offers strengths-based, practical support for neurodivergent adults, why therapy isn’t always the optimal fit for ADHDers, and how organizations like Shimmer strive to create genuinely ADHD-friendly, shame-free service environments. Core topics include the misdiagnosis of depression, the impact of hormones and life events on ADHD presentation, the structure of ADHD coaching at Shimmer, the promise and risks of AI support, and the difference between deficit-based and strengths-based care models.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Alex Pelletier’s Path Into ADHD Coaching (03:32–04:52)

• Alex initially pursued clinical psychology and therapy, but shifted into coaching after encountering “coaching psychology.”
• The appeal: focus on strengths, potential, and practical solutions—not just healing.
• Realized many clients were “falling into this mental health bucket…without resources that speak to them” (04:20).
• Thus, she retrained specifically for ADHD coaching and has now worked in the field for about four years.

Quote:

“Not everything has to be a healing journey, but just recognizing what means most to us…That sounded like everything I wanted to do.”
— Alex Pelletier (03:48)

2. Coaching Psychology: A Powerful Fit for ADHD (06:13–09:20)

• Coaching psychology draws from clinical and organizational psychology, blending evidence-based modalities like cognitive-behavioral coaching with practical, goal-oriented methods.
• In other countries (notably the UK, Australia, New Zealand), coaching psychology is a recognized, credentialed field—less known in the US.
• Coaching is especially effective for ADHDers whose struggles often stem from lack of environmental fit & support, not internal “disorders.”

Quote:

“What I saw in the mental health coaching space [was] people just feeling like, ‘I don’t feel like this is an internal thing I’m trying to work through. I feel like I’m trying to navigate my environment and I don’t have the tools and education and resources.’”
— Alex Pelletier (09:20)

3. Therapy vs. Coaching: The Overlap and Divergence (07:22–10:44)

• Katy and Alex discuss therapists’ warnings to keep therapy and coaching “very, very separate,” but both see immense value in blending practical coaching with deeper “healing journey” work.
• Many adults with undiagnosed ADHD are first labeled as depressed—clinical models often miss executive dysfunction and frustration as core drivers for these feelings.
• Coaching can address the “now what?”—the practical tools for moving forward after diagnosis.

Quote:

“Many of the people I work with … their experience with depression [is]: look for the frustration, look for executive dysfunction… It’s not something that’s talked about in the curriculum with mental health counseling.”
— Katy Weber (08:11)

4. The Complexities of Diagnosis and Self-Understanding (10:44–13:26)

• Katy probes how Alex knows she isn’t herself ADHD. Alex describes her awareness as the “anomaly” in the field—being a coach who is neurotypical, but living with and working long-term for and with neurodivergent people.
• Emphasizes the difference in severity and frequency of executive dysfunction: “There’s a threshold when it comes to getting an ADHD diagnostic…, sort of like a perpetual thing” (12:11).
• Validates that while anyone can have moments of distraction, true ADHD is on another level.

Quote:

“I never pretend, just because I’ve experienced that every now and then, that I understand fully what it means to go through life trying to navigate those executive function challenges.” — Alex Pelletier (12:49)

5. The Ebb & Flow of ADHD – Hormones, Environment, and Temporary Neurodivergence (15:43–18:37)

• ADHD symptoms can vary widely across the lifespan, amplified by factors like menopause, grief, or environmental changes.
• Some may experience “temporary neurodivergence” (e.g., hormonal shifts, intense grief), even if neurotypical otherwise.
• True ADHD (and autism, dyslexia) are neurodevelopmental and persist lifelong, but capacity and symptom intensity can “ebb and flow” based on external circumstances.

Quotes:

“It is a different development. It is not delayed. It is developing in a certain way for a certain reason, but it is different than the average.” — Alex Pelletier (15:53)

“You can actually cross into a threshold where you’re considered neurodivergent for a little bit, but it’s not in a neurodevelopmental sense…” — Alex Pelletier (15:59)

6. Shimmer’s Coaching Structure & Features (23:02–32:41)

• Shimmer employs a rigorously vetted team of 50+ ADHD coaches; only ~3.4% of applicants succeed (23:02).
• Coaches receive ongoing peer supervision, roundtables, and training—addressing the “Wild West” problem of coaching credentials.
• Shimmer offers:
  • Weekly 1:1 Coaching (29:35)
  • Daily Virtual Body Doubling Sessions: Group “co-working” times for any kind of task—promotes community and accountability.
  • Weekly Workshops: Featuring ADHD experts and authors (e.g., Dr. Sharon Saline, Jesse Anderson).
  • Learning Modules: “Independent learning journeys” designed for reflection, not didactic lectures (done in 10–15 minutes).
  • Indie App: Free AI-based support; reflects ADHD-friendly behavior models (see AI section).

Quote:

“We have daily body doubling sessions … like virtual coworking, but it might not be work…You might be folding your laundry…but you’re doing it because other people are in it.”
— Alex Pelletier (29:38)

7. ADHD, Shame, and Strengths-Based Support (32:41–34:19)

• The Shimmer environment is intentionally shame-free; members are never forced to justify their need for support.
• ADHDers expend unrecognized energy explaining why they need help—here, support is normalized.

Quote:

“I think a lot of the time we spend so much unrecognized energy justifying why we might need structure and support as opposed to just being in an environment where that’s second nature.”
— Katy Weber (34:11)

8. The Role (and Risks) of AI in ADHD Support (34:44–41:09)

• Shimmer incorporates AI for optional session note-taking (opt-in, privacy-respecting) and powers the free Indie app for reflective exercises and problem breaking (“Combi model” for behavior change).
• Shimmer ensures strict “guardrails”—their AI is tailored for evidence-based, ADHD-friendly recommendations; not generic or harmful mental health advice.
• AI can “offload” non-essential executive tasks, freeing users for higher-level thinking, but must preserve user autonomy and skill development.

Quotes:

“Ownership still stays with the person…I think where we go into really questionable territory is when people don’t feel autonomous in their decision…”
— Alex Pelletier (35:50)

“More organizations should take ownership of what do we do on the back end to protect the user.”
— Alex Pelletier (39:45)

9. The Grit, Resilience, and Community of ADHDers (42:07–47:58)

• Alex cites the “incredible level of resilience” she’s observed in ADHD clients.
• Describes the process of making connections between diagnosis, lived experience, and executive function as “an emotional puzzle.”
• The tight-knit, supportive ADHD community fosters belonging, creativity, and less competitiveness than the general population.

Quotes:

“There is this incredible sense of ownership and capacity and agency of, ‘I’m not going to let anyone get in my way—even myself, I’m not going to limit myself.’”
— Alex Pelletier (42:32)

“People are genuinely rooting for each other in a way that I don’t think we see in the general population…We’re in this together, let’s go.”
— Alex Pelletier (44:42)

10. Strengths-Based Coaching vs. Deficit Thinking (46:26–48:41)

• Even practitioners default to deficit-based framing with ADHD clients (“I want to be less impulsive”), but real progress requires focusing on strengths, not just repairing symptoms.
• Strengths-based coaching is not “toxic positivity”; challenges are acknowledged, systemic barriers are addressed, but the focus is on empowering clients.

Quote:

“Just because you’re coming in with symptoms that you’re trying to navigate does not mean you’re targeting those symptoms. It means you’re acknowledging and creating structures around that to get to whatever your goal is.”
— Alex Pelletier (47:51)

11. Access, Imposter Syndrome, and Professional Identity (27:19–29:17; 27:01–28:25)

• ADHD adults often build “patchwork” expertise based on interest, not credentials—leading to imposter syndrome.
• Shimmer’s structured approach takes the guesswork out of navigating credentials, providing peace of mind for clients overwhelmed by options.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “We can be our own biggest gaslighters when it comes to how much am I actually struggling…”
  — Katy Weber (13:26)
• “You don't have to justify. You just don't like it. And that's totally fine.”
  — Katy Weber (34:00)
• “More organizations should take ownership of what do we do on the back end to protect the user [with AI].”
  — Alex Pelletier (39:47)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:32] — Alex’s entry into ADHD coaching
• [06:13] — Coaching psychology explained
• [10:44] — Alex on her own neurotype and relationships
• [15:43] — Ebb/flow of ADHD across the lifespan & “temporary neurodivergence”
• [23:02] — Shimmer’s coaching team, supervision, and credentials
• [29:35] — Shimmer’s support offerings (body doubling, workshops, Indie app)
• [34:44] — Shimmer’s use of AI, privacy, and ethical considerations
• [42:07] — Resilience and community in ADHDers
• [46:26] — How to maintain strengths-based coaching without lapsing into deficit or toxic positivity

How to Connect

• Alex Pelletier on LinkedIn: Profile (as shared, contact via LinkedIn is preferred)
• Shimmer: shimmer.care
• Women & ADHD: womenandadhd.com

Tone & Style

The tone is conversational, curious, and deeply validating. Katy and Alex blend professional expertise with personal insight, ensuring every segment centers the lived reality and agency of ADHD women. Frequent validation and normalization of ADHD experiences create a supportive, shame-free environment that resists one-size-fits-all solutions—championing empathy, practical support, and community.