Mailbag Friday: Can Scripture Rewire Your Mind?

Summary

Wretched Radio with Todd Friel — Mailbag Friday: Can Scripture Rewire Your Mind?
Date: May 22, 2026
Podcast: Wretched Radio
Host: Todd Friel

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Episode Overview

This Mailbag Friday episode features host Todd Friel and co-host Jimmy Hicks fielding listener questions about marriage, spiritual perseverance, personal sanctification, and the distinctives of biblical teaching and church practice. The episode oscillates between practical Christian living (especially in challenging marriages and addiction recovery), biblical interpretation around cultural vs. eternal commands, and the transformative power of meditating on and living out Scripture. Throughout, Friel uses humor and direct speech to keep the tone engaging and honest, offering encouragement and biblically-grounded advice for pressing struggles.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Persevering in Marriage Without Reciprocation

[03:51–10:00]
Listener asks: How should a husband love a wife who is distant, cold, and unresponsive?

• Obedience without reciprocity:
  Friel highlights the call to love unconditionally, mirroring Christ’s love for us — not based on what we give in return.

  “We do it even without reciprocity because Jesus did it for us without reciprocity.” (Jimmy, 04:35)

• Motivations for persevering love:
  • Being Christlike, especially when rejected (“Christ… was reviled and didn’t return. Likewise, suffered without saying a word.”)
  • Participating in the “salvific work” — our response under suffering can be instrumental in the spiritual awakening of others, as modeled in 1 Peter.
  • Studying and meditating on Jesus increases our strength and perseverance in loving difficult people.
  • Eschatological reward: Our faithful obedience will be rewarded by Christ in eternity, even if it’s not reciprocated now.

  “Let those things be your strength and press on, dude.” (Todd Friel, 09:50)

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2. Going ‘Above and Beyond’ for a Significant Other

[10:00–11:36]
Should you be wary of showing too much affection or generosity before marriage?

• Generally, it’s not wrong to do good for someone you’re dating, but wisdom and accountability matter.
• Caution: If generosity might be misinterpreted or have “strings attached,” dial it back.
• Use the input of the local church or trusted godly counsel to gauge appropriate boundaries.

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3. The Power of Serving and Meditating on Scripture in Addiction Recovery

[18:12–21:42 & 21:22–24:41]
Listener in biblical counseling for pornography asks how best to memorize Scripture and whether serving in church helps mind-renewal.

• Bible memorization strategies:
  • There’s no “one-size-fits-all.” Find what fits your learning style (note cards, digital lists, repetitive review, etc).
  • Personalize verses: Select passages that strike you as especially helpful in moments of temptation.

  “Go find the Bible verses that are really like, oh, that is so rich and so helpful in my moment of temptation.” (Jimmy, 18:42)

  • Minimize distraction; undistracted focus yields best results.
• Serving as a means of mind renewal:
  • Serving takes your mind off yourself and places it on the needs of others, which both biblically and practically helps overcome depression, anxiety, and persistent sin.
  • You imitate Christ as you serve, and every Christlike act — whether Bible study or service — is instrumental in your sanctification.

  “Anytime you are doing that, whether it’s by consuming the word, studying Jesus Christ, acting like Jesus Christ, you are being transformed. Your mind is being renewed.” (Jimmy, 22:41)

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4. Pastoral Authority and Small Group Gatherings

[33:09–35:08]
Does a pastor have the right to say “no” to informal home groups?

• Friel asserts pastors/elders have a duty to oversee content consumed by their flock.
• While not inherently wrong, small groups can devolve into error if unchecked; pastoral involvement or oversight is wise, not controlling, if motivated by care.

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5. Biblical Wisdom and Age-Gap Relationships

[35:08–40:31]
What biblical wisdom applies when a man dates a woman 40 years younger?

• No explicit biblical prohibition, but strong warnings from both common sense and created order.
• Considerations: compatibility, natural affections, societal pressure, burden of caregiving, and tendencies toward emotional/relational mismatch.
• Friel suggests this category falls under “wisdom and nature”:

  “Now what is about mean? I don’t know, but it’s not 40 years.” (Todd Friel, 36:18)

• Warns older men against fixating attraction at a much younger age, noting this causes real marital harm and is a pattern seen in ministry scandals.

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6. Teaching vs. Preaching

[46:19–50:26]
How is biblical preaching different from teaching? Many voices online — how do you spot the difference?

• Teaching is primarily imparting knowledge; preaching includes exhortation, rebuke, encouragement—“from the brain to the affections.”
• Preaching applies and presses the claims of Christ directly on listeners’ consciences.
• Friel laments overemphasis on apologetics (“defending” over “exalting” Christ) and urges a shift to evangelism and bold proclamation.

  “We need to start exalting Christ, not apologizing for Christ.” (Todd Friel, 49:36)

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7. Cultural vs. Normative Biblical Commands

[50:26–end]
How do we discern what commands in the epistles are cultural (temporary) vs. for all times?

• General rule: Most of the New Testament’s instructions are normative (for all churches, all times). A rare exception may exist, requiring careful contextual study.
• Example 1: Women in teaching/authority roles are not dismissed as cultural in 1 Timothy 2 — Paul gives no contextual “out” and ties instructions to creation order.
• Example 2: Head coverings is a more difficult case; cultural-historical research may support that the custom was contextually specific, though Friel admits it’s a tougher case to argue.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On perseverance in loving a difficult spouse:

  “You're participating in the salvific work of Jesus Christ… people get saved from our behavior.” (Todd Friel, 04:35–06:40)

• On serving to beat “the black dog” of self-focus:

  “When you are serving others, you are taking your thinking off of self and you’re esteeming others as more important. You are serving the way our master served us.” (Jimmy, 21:42)

• On boundaries in romantic relationships:

  “…if it can be perceived as a problem, then you could dial it back. How would you know the difference? This is where the local church comes in.” (Jimmy, 10:11–11:36)

• On men aging and misplaced attraction:

  “If you stop being attracted to your wife because your eye is straying to a younger woman that you're attracted to—danger, Will Robinson, you're about to take a fall.” (Todd Friel, 44:23)

• On shifting from apologetics to proclamation:

  “We need to start exalting Christ, not apologizing for Christ. I think that would be a great trend.” (Todd Friel, 49:36)

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Useful Timestamps for Key Segments

• Marriage: Loving Without Reciprocation: [03:51–10:00]
• Courtship Boundaries: [10:00–11:36]
• Scripture Memory and Recovery from Addiction: [18:12–21:42]
• Serving and Mind Renewal: [21:22–24:41]
• Small Groups & Pastoral Oversight: [33:09–35:08]
• Christian Perspectives on Age-Gap Relationships: [35:08–40:31]
• Teaching vs. Preaching: [46:19–50:26]
• Cultural vs. Eternal Commands: [50:26–end]

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Additional Memorable Moments

• Humorous banter about cell phones and Costco’s habit of moving products ([29:31–31:39])
• Brief history lessons about church fathers and Cyrillic alphabet as reminders of God's providence in history ([14:34], [43:30])
• Discussion about men’s ministries for older men, including plans for a book on “aging well” ([43:55–45:39])

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Tone and Language

The episode maintains Todd Friel’s signature balance of theological seriousness, humor, and direct speech. He blends exegesis and pastoral application with relatable anecdotes and open audience engagement, making biblical instruction both practical and personable.

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Summary:
This episode of Wretched Radio offers wisdom on persevering in love, renewing the mind through Scripture and service, balancing biblical authority with church practices, and navigating tricky questions about marriage, biblical interpretation, and spiritual growth — all delivered in Todd Friel’s signature candid and biblical style.

Transcript

[Todd Friel]

Wretched radio begins in 3, 2, 1.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Somehow God is in me, and there's

[Jimmy]

a sense in which I am like God and man all at once. Many religions claim that we will all eventually be gods. The Bible says something so much better. It says, no, God will continue to be God. Man will continue to be man. But God will come upon man. No way.

[Todd Friel]

It's time for Wretched Radio with Tom Friel.

[Jimmy]

Wow, have I been smoking again?

[Todd Friel]

It's the Wretched Radio now called Delivery Bag Q and A infotainment nationwide extravaganza featuring your voicemails, correspondences, communiques, dispatches, memorandums and missives.

[Jimmy]

Any special message for all the kids watching at home? What we need right now is a clear message to the people of this country. You have 1200 messages.

[Jimmy Hicks]

That is a bit above average.

[Todd Friel]

Now here's your host, Todd freakishly Tall Friel.

[Jimmy]

The mail is. Let's hope my lungs stay down. This is Wretched Radio. What is on your mind? Would you kindly share it by communicating to our text machine 877-282-2337? And when you find something. Not if. When you find something wretched, kindly send it to ideaetched.org Jimmy? Yes, I don't know what's going on. I was just doing a thing with David Wheaton.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Okay.

[Jimmy]

If you get a chance Saturday morning, it airs around. He'll no doubt have it available on his website. Thechristianworldview.org if you've never listened to David Wheaton show, always thoughtful, always well studied and prepared. And it's calm. He's just a rock. And even. Even when it's dealing with something that's like, whoa, he's just a cool cucumber. He's biblical and his show is always worth the time. Thechristianworldview.org I couldn't stop coughing when we were recording the show. So if I lose a lung before the end of the program, isn't it amazing how really hideous our organs look? And yet how amazing they are. They are amazing that we breathe in air and then it goes. I don't want to get all medical on you, but the process that it goes through to then make sure that your blood has oxygen so you don't die. The question that I think we should always ask when we consider organs, which came first? Which came first? The blood that needed oxygen or the system that provides the oxygen. Yes, exactly. That's the evolutionary conundrum. They all had to happen at the same time or there would be no need for them. Or the one that needed the thing that wasn't there yet would have died because it didn't have what it needed. So evolution, it just falls flat on its face. I don't know that we mock evolution enough. It is the second most ridiculous theory in the universe. The first most ridiculous theory is God doesn't exist. Yeah, you've got all the evidence you need. Just look up at the nighttime sky and just remember you're standing on something solid. All of it points to a creator. But once you deny the creator, then you can deny that there was any sort of need for a guided intelligent process to bring this planet in. It's that mechanism, the unguided process theory of evolution, that is used so that they don't feel quite as bad by committing the greater fallacy, which is there is no God. 877-282-2337 all right, we start with a

[Jimmy Hicks]

question from Anonymous Todd, I appreciate it and thankful for your recent episode about knowing your wife. This is an area where I'm striving to grow and be more obedient to the Lord.

[Jimmy]

Good job dude.

[Jimmy Hicks]

I never hear much talk about the husband who is striving to be a to do all of these commands given by God in First Peter and yet gets little or if any reciprocation from his wife. What does a husband do when he's striving for obedience in these areas of husbandry and his wife is bitter, distant, cold, and will not communicate? Yeah, obviously we do these things regardless of whether we receive anything in return or not because Christ loved us. So we love. But what would be encouragement to the husband who loves, cherishes and adores his wife?

[Jimmy]

Well, he actually gave at least two pieces of advice this included in the question. The first would be we do it even without reciprocity because Jesus did it for us without reciprocity. And then he also mentioned we love because Jesus loves us. We can't overlook those. Those are clearly two very large motivators for pressing on even when it is not feeling like you're getting anything in return. He doesn't get anything in return from us that is of any value. He values us because he value he loves us because he loves us. And knowing that and feeding yourself on that will help you to persevere in being patient and in still honoring and cherishing your wife even when she does not return the favor. But I think that there are more things that you can consider. Third would be you're being Christlike. You're acting like Christ even when you're being rejected, even when you perhaps are receiving just the opposite sort of feedback that you're giving to her, that you're being like Christ, who was reviled and didn't return. Likewise, suffered without saying a word. Furthermore, I would say that this would be like 4 and 5. They're kind of linked, but I think there's enough of a distinction. You're participating in the salvific work of Jesus Christ. Let me make sure that we define that. Well, no, you are not doing anything that ultimately gets anybody saved. But what? First Peter 2:21 26 to the end of the chapter says that Jesus suffered. So he's our model in suffering. He's the one that wives look to that, slaves look to that, citizens that are even being treated poorly by their government. We look to Jesus. He didn't open his mouth. He suffered without reviling. Why? To save sinners. And that means when we are acting like him, we're participating in that salvific work. And here's the connector, and let's just call it point number five would be people get saved from our behavior. Yes, they need to hear the Gospel. Of course, we know it's the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit. But it's clear when Peter addresses wives that your unsaved husband might get saved, that he might be one without a word. Her gentle, her quiet demeanor can speak volumes at 11. And it can be what God uses to regenerate husbands. And so when we are acting like Jesus, we're participating in his salvific work in that people get saved from watching how we respond to them when they treat us poorly. And those are the motivators that Peter gives to us. Now, I think that there's another way that Peter motivates us. This is, if you will, not as specific in the context of being with a spouse. That isn't reciprocal when it comes to love and care and respect and honor, what does he do? Throughout the Entire book of 1 Peter, he keeps pointing us to Jesus, pointing us to Jesus. Be like Jesus. He's your model. So the more we study Jesus, the more you will be strengthened to do what you are called to do. To not return evil for evil, to not return insult for insult, but instead to give a blessing. Oh, oh, how can I do that? Look at Jesus. He didn't return insult for insult. He didn't return evil for evil. Instead, he blessed people everywhere he went. So we study Jesus, and in him we find our strength. Because in him we see the perfection of all of the commands that Peter gives to Us, Us. And we remember that what he did for us. This I guess then would be number six or seven. We remember what he did for us. Peter. Peter gives two lengthy sections. One is in four, one is in three, these nine, one is in two. So three of them in first Peter two, 21. And in first Peter three, like 13 and following, he gives a beautiful treatment of what Jesus Christ did for us by dying for us while we were yet sinners, and that he conquered evil and that he proclaimed victory, and that he saves through his resurrection. And then he repeats the wonderful attributes and accomplishments of Jesus in chapter four. All of that by studying Jesus, it will give you the strength to persevere and to carry on and to keep loving even when you don't get loved in return. And you can know this, and I guess this would be point number seven, what you do for the Lord here is eschatological. You will receive a reward. You're not getting it now. You'll get it from Jesus himself when you are with him in his presence. When you pass from this life to the afterlife, let those things be your strength and press on, dude. 877-282-2337.

[Jimmy Hicks]

So kind of staying in that marriage realm. This is an interesting question from Joseph, Todd and above. Should you go for someone you're not married to yet?

[Jimmy]

How far and above should you go for somebody you're not married to yet? I wish I knew what far and above meant. Can you go too far and above for anybody? I wonder what the implication is loaded into that question. Like, might it be inappropriate? I guess it could be interpreted that way, but I don't think it has to be. Can we be too kind to somebody? Can we be too generous? Can we be too loving? Can we be too giving? I don't think so. Now, if it's read wrong, like, whoa, dude. Because by buying something that expensive, it seems to have a string attached. Okay, so some wisdom might cause you to practice some constraint as to what you do for somebody, but as a rule, I don't think you can. But I do think wisdom should be applied. So generally not a problem. But if it can be perceived as a problem, then you could dial it back. How would you know the difference? This is where the local church comes in. Because if. And you don't have a pop. And even if you do, there are godly men there and there are godly women you could consult with. Hey, if you receive something like this from a guy, how would you respond? And you get with corporate wisdom, hard won wisdom from your local church. Don't overlook that this is wretched radio

[Jimmy Hicks]

conflict. That's not an if in your life, that's a when. You will most definitely disagree with your spouse, your kids, your co workers, your in laws, maybe all of them in the same week. The question is whether those disagreements turn your home into a war zone or something you can actually resolve. That's what our resource Conflict is all about. Todd Friel, who admits he's an expert in conflict mostly because he's caused so much of it, and Dr. John street will both challenge you to respond in ways so radically biblical that even the people you've been fighting with will take notice. They'll walk you through biblical reconciliation step by step so you can actually heal what's been broken. If you're exhausted from the same arguments on repeat, if your home feels more like a battlefield than a refuge, there is a better way. And this it's not another self help technique. It is Scripture. Conflict is streaming right now on Fortis for free. Just download the app on your smartphone, on your smart TV or simply go

[Jimmy]

to fortisplus.org perhaps you've been wondering, is there a Christian university that isn't woke or that hasn't compromised on important biblical doctrines like, you know, the Age of the Earth? There is. It's the Masters University in Southern California. Beautiful campus. All of the athletics and activities that you've come to expect from universities. But it's more than that. The academic programs are most excellent. Preparing students for the future. The Washington Post just said number six for preparing students for the real world. All that, plus the Master's University isn't woke and it is thoroughly biblical. Would you like to learn more? I encourage you to visit the Master's University at Masters. Edu Wretchedmasters Eduretched no Retreat.

[Jimmy Hicks]

That's the name of Fortis Institute's Spring Match campaign. And here's why. The culture we live in right now has made it pretty clear it has been very little interest in the true gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. We're being told to keep our faith quiet in public or to soften what we believe so it goes down easier. Fortas Institute has no intention of doing either one. We exist to advance the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, and this spring we're doing it as loudly and as boldly as we know how. Your gift will help launch two new podcasts. It puts Todd Friel new book Go Serve youe King into print through HarperCollins. And it puts the gospel back onto college campuses where it's least welcome and most needed. Our goal is $250,000 and we're asking if you would prayerfully consider helping us get there. You can find out more right [e-mail] donate.

[Todd Friel]

Know your Church Fathers Hippolytus was perhaps the most important theologian of the third century. He wrote a ten volume book called Refutation of All Heresies which catalogued and criticized hundreds of pagan philosophies, gnostic teachings and Christian heresies. Hippolytus was exiled and died a martyr under the Roman Empire. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel in the beginning.

[Jimmy]

Nah, don't even come close. This is Wretched Ready? Do you know what I've noticed on the tv? They're doing movies again where they're going back to the old school voice. Do you remember almost every movie trailer used to have in a world?

[Jimmy Hicks]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

All right. I think we're coming back to that. Really? I think announcer trends might be changing a little bit. I'm not entirely sure. This is subjective, but we went from big booming voice guy, then we went to people that were really almost untrained in dictionary, almost spoke oftentimes in a monotone sort of voice. That became like the popular trend. I think we're returning to professional announcers again.

[Jimmy Hicks]

I sure hope so. I have a lot of opinions on this particular thing.

[Jimmy]

Well, send it to ideaetched.org and you can read yourself or you can text 772-822-337. Big announcement. Jason Lyle, Dr. Jason Lyle. He has a new podcast. You can't get it quite yet. We launch it June 3rd. Correct? Jimmy?

[Jimmy Hicks]

June 3rd.

[Jimmy]

June 3rd. It's called in the Beginning. And he doesn't just deal with Genesis, his first podcast does. You got to Establish the foundation. But then he moves on to other subjects because his knowledge is broad and it's always from a biblical perspective. So he's going to be dealing with things like UFOs. By the way, did anything come out of that UFO? The government going to be releasing papers?

[Jimmy Hicks]

I don't know.

[Jimmy]

Get ready. Christians are going to crumble. I didn't hear a single thing.

[Jimmy Hicks]

I don't think I did either.

[Jimmy]

And you know what I thought too? I can't remember. I was reading something and it was about demons and the fallen angels. Why don't we give them more attention in this whole unidentified flying object business, couldn't it be them? If there is such a thing as an actual flying saucer or whatever, why can't we say demonic as opposed to extraterrestrial which those beings are, by the way. They're extraterrestrial. But let's not overlook the demonic. I didn't hear a single thing that came out that should cause us to go, oh, no, we've got to rethink our worldview. Turned out to be a big fat nothing burger, as best I can tell. But something should come out now. They're saying, by the way, just wait, wait. We haven't dropped the big stuff yet. Okay, well, let's see what they can drop. This appears at this moment to be another one of those much ado about nothings. All the high, all the talk, everybody gets whipped up, everybody's put into a frenzy, and then nothing. Let's move on to the next whip you up. That is a trend that we see constantly, that Christians shouldn't be deceived by. Don't be taken captive by these silly conspiracy theories that are non. But if you have one, send it to idearetched.org all right, this is a question from what? Where'd you go?

[Jimmy Hicks]

Well, it's a long.

[Jimmy]

Did I need to give you a better cue?

[Jimmy Hicks]

No, I knew exactly.

[Jimmy]

Stopping talking, I thought was kind of the cue. Hey, don't you panic at home.

[Jimmy Hicks]

We're professional.

[Jimmy]

We are radio professionals here.

[Jimmy Hicks]

All right, this is a question from Tristan Todd. You often mention memorizing Bible verses. I'm currently in biblical counseling for pornography addiction, and my counselor recommended the same thing and gave me some tools. How would you recommend that I memorize Bible verses?

[Jimmy]

I would have to know you as well as you know you, because everybody's different. Everybody has a different system. Find the one that works. There are some that work for some, others that work for others. Everybody needs to do it differently. So I'll share with you just a few ideas. And I'm not saying this is the way to do it, but first of all, go find the Bible verses that are really like, oh, that is so rich and so helpful in my moment of temptation. So take the time to go find them and identify them and then write them out in whatever system. Now, I'm a card guy. I'll put them on cards so that I can put the address on one side and then the verse on the other side. Do that. So that's me. But maybe you're the computer guy and you need to put it on a spreadsheet or a Google Doc or something. Figure out the system, and then figure out how you memorize best. Now, some people, they like to look at it, like 50 times a day, so they Carry it with them. Other time, people are like, I'm just going to hunker down and I'm going to Repeat this thing 800 times until I've got it down. Do what works for you. But I will say this. Most likely, if you do not figure out a way to find time where you're not distracted, you're going to need some of that. Even if you need to look at it 50 times a day, you're just going to need to shut out the world. That means your cell phone, computer and voices. And just work it. It's work. And I will say this too. Put in that work now, because the older you get, I'm telling you, the harder it gets. Jimmy, now at his advanced age, struggles like nobody's business to memorize Bible verses. So learn from Jimmy. Memorize your verses now, but find the style that works for you. There's a bunch of stuff, a bunch of different. This is how to memorize Bible verses. Go to the Google machine, find them, read them, and then put together your own eclectic program. Were you going to say something, Jimmy?

[Jimmy Hicks]

No, no. I was just going to agree with what you were saying.

[Jimmy]

That you're old and your memory is shot.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Exactly.

[Jimmy]

At least you remembered to respond to that. That's something.

[Jimmy Hicks]

It is something. Now, all of. I was just gonna reiterate what you were saying. That each and every one of us, our minds are different and we don't remember or do things like that the same way. What works well for one person's not necessarily gonna work well for someone else.

[Jimmy]

Yeah. And you gotta figure out the environment to do it in too. Some people can do it in a coffee shop. Other people. It's like if I hear a single sound, it distracts me. So put together your own program and get on it. Well done. 8, 7, 7, 2, 8, 2, 2, 3, 3, 7.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Alright, here's an interesting question, Todd. Can serving in the church help renew my mind? Up until a few weeks ago, I struggled with porn and lust. Through God's grace, I see my sin now for what it is and how it affects the relationships with him and others. I renew my mind every day with prayer, reading and meditation. But can serving in the church help as well?

[Jimmy]

Yes. Yes, it can. Because you're looking outside of yourself. I was just reading. Oh, what was Winston Churchill, who of course suffered from what he called the black dog of depression. He described it, we think it was. We attribute this to Churchill. It might have been somebody else, but he typically gets the credit. A black dog on your chest just Baring his teeth. And you just feel paralyzed and weighed down by the black dog of depression. How did he deal with it? Bricklaying. Bricklaying. He would lay 200 bricks a day because he just found that it helped him to feel better. Well, it turns out that psychiatrists, in their wisdom, have basically caught onto something about it, which I would say just read your Bible. You could have figured he didn't need Winston Churchill. You didn't need bricks and you don't need fancy languages and you don't need government study money to come to the conclusion when you are thinking about something else, you're not going to be as depressed. That's what Churchill would do. It caused him to be concentrated because you've got to use eyes and hands and brain. So your whole body is distracted, if you will, from whatever your worry or anxiety is. It's distracted to laying that brick straight. The right amount of mortar is it level? And it would simply. It just made him feel better because he wasn't thinking about whatever it is that was causing the black dog of depression. And so now they're saying, yes, yes, we've discovered this is a psychological theory. No, of course, anything that takes your mind off of it is going to help you to not deal with depression or anxiety. And that principle, I think, is thoroughly biblical. We serve others, we esteem others, and this has long been known in Christian circles. When you're feeling really rotten about your situation, go serve somebody. What's happening there? Well, there's a lot happening theologically. I mean, obviously, plainly would be you're taking your thinking off of self and you're esteeming others as more important. You are serving the way our master served us. You're acting like Jesus Christ. And anytime you are doing that, whether it's by consuming the word, studying Jesus Christ, acting like Jesus Christ, you are being transformed. Your mind is being renewed. So service in the context of a local church, especially for your brothers and sisters. Yeah, yeah. That's going to help you in your battle of mind renewal. It's going to help you in your battle of sanctification. Why? Because you are acting like Jesus. 8 7, 7, 2, 8, 2, 233 7. Jamie, you're going to get to that question about the matching gift campaign.

[Jimmy Hicks]

That's exactly what I was just about to ask you. I was just about to ask you about that.

[Jimmy]

Who sent in that question?

[Jimmy Hicks]

Jimmy Todd. Is the matching gift campaign still happening and still going on? Can you tell me more about it?

[Jimmy]

Are you sure it wasn't anonymous? Who sent that in.

[Jimmy Hicks]

No, it was Jimmy.

[Jimmy]

All right. So hey, Jimmy, wherever you are, not that you're going to remember this, but there's a matching gift campaign that's going on right now and we would be mega grateful if you would join it. Jason Lyle's podcast, that's just another thing that we're doing this year. And it's free, of course. Everything we do here is free. We give everything away. We don't sell a single thing here at Fortis Institute. And we are going to be adding another podcast soon. Oh, oh, wait a second. Hold on. There's an. Oh, wait a second. I got it here. There it is. Irrefutable proof of creation. It's going to be a Jason Lyle. I think we're launching it about the same time in June. It's another resource. Oh, it is so good. I was in the studio for it. So good. All of these resources are free courtesy of our Gospel Gospel Partners. We have a matching gift campaign. If you could join it, we would be super grateful. Fortisinstitute.org donate this is wretched Radio.

[Jimmy Hicks]

And it's now time for your daily Fortis News break, a production of Fortis Institute. Ohio's Republican nominee for governor, Vivek Ramaswamy says he's coming for Medicaid fraud. The vow follows a bombshell of investigation by the Daily Wire who uncovered what looks like billions of dollars in phony personal services payments in the Buckeye State. People getting paid to spend time with their own family members. Vice President J.D. vance is backing the effort as well, warning states they'll lose their federal anti fraud dollars if they won't go after the abuse. Speaking of your tax dollars, Seattle is installing four solar panels, smart toilets for the World cup. And the bill is staggering, $464,000 up front. That's 116 grand per toilet and then $400,000 every single year just to keep them running. The mayor of the city called them, quote, the first step to delivering on Seattle's number one and number two priority. Obviously she meant it as a joke with a price tag. It's not very funny. Better news from the battlefield. American and Nigerian forces eliminated several ISIS fighters in West Africa recently, just days after taking out the terror group's global second in command. Africa Command says no American or Nigerian troops were harmed. President Trump praised the forces who removed, in his words, the most active terrorists in the world from the battlefield. But our next story is going to sting a little more. In London, a 66 year old pastor named Steve Mile was arrested while preaching the gospel in the street. His crush? Time singing and calling people to repentance and saying out loud that Islam is a false religion. Police shoved him in their car, double handcuffed him for 90 minutes and held him for 12 hours without a restroom. And he needed wrist splints for three weeks afterward. Miles as he preaches the love and mercy of God in Christ, not hate. But in Britain, telling people Jesus saves can apparently get you charged with religious harassment. And in India, three Christian pastors were ambushed and killed. Four others were wounded and more than 30 people taken hostage. These were Baptist church leaders, men who had given their lives to reconciliation and service. And they were gunned down by militants. It's the Same region where 200 believers were slaughtered back in 2023. Please be praying for all of our persecuted brothers and sisters abroad. Finally, researchers think they found a major culprit behind the West's collapsing birthright rate. And it's sitting in your pockets. A new analysis tracking the rollout of high speed mobile Internet found that fertility dropped fastest in the very places they got smartphones first. Their theory here is simple. Young people who scroll instead of socialize stop forming real relationships. Yeah. The device that connects us to everyone, what it's actually done is disconnected us from one another. And that wraps up today's Fortis news break. I'm Jimmy Hicks. If you want more, you, you can download Fortis or sign up to become a Fortis insider for exclusive daily content, both of which can be [e-mail] and don't forget, you can subscribe to Fortis News on your favorite podcast app in order to get these updates daily. And until tomorrow, go serve your king.

[Todd Friel]

Books of the Bible. First Samuel tells the story of God's interaction with Israel through the prophet Samuel. When Israel asked for an earthly king, God gave them Saul, who, like Israel, drifted from God's law. So God commanded Samuel to anoint a new king, David, who was a man after God's heart. God does not look on the outward appearance, but on the heart. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel.

[Jimmy]

How is your cell phone like Costco? This is Wretched Radio. Jimmy, what are they doing with. They're doing Costco things to my phone. I'm just looking for my calendar on the thing with the deal. And they moved it. It used to be right there and then they moved. That's what Costco does. It's like those little crackers that they got, those little square crackers that are. I think they're gluten free to boot. Got a little salt on the side. Oh, we love those crackers. Where'd they go? Where'd they. Excuse me. Can you tell me what aisle? Not exactly sure. You'll just have to wander Costco until you spend $70,000 before you get out of here. It's a trick. It's a scam, I'm telling you. Why are they doing that on my cell phone? They're moving my stuff around.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Yeah, they're constantly doing that.

[Jimmy]

Why?

[Jimmy Hicks]

I don't know why.

[Jimmy]

If you have the answer to that question, you can include it in all things wretched when you send it to ideaetched.org don't forget, you can text 877-28223. See, I get the Costco thing. They want you to wander around and shop some more, right? What do they have to gain at the Apple phone thing place from moving my little apps around?

[Jimmy Hicks]

I don't really know, to be honest.

[Jimmy]

I used to be able to tell steps. I take a day that's gone.

[Jimmy Hicks]

You can't anymore.

[Jimmy]

Just. It's buried someplace. It's a mystery. I find it on occasion, but there it is. It's a surprise. 877-282-2337.

[Jimmy Hicks]

I wouldn't trust that information from your phone, which you leave at home half the time anyway.

[Jimmy]

Well, no. For the steps, you mean? Yeah. You know what I'm telling you, the days that I forget my cell phone are more productive for me.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Jimmy]

I don't. I can't explain it because the only thing I do on my phone during the day at work is work. So how is it that without my phone, I get more work done at work without my cell phone on, which I do nothing but work? I'm telling you, there's something about it.

[Jimmy Hicks]

I get it. I get it because I understand. If I will. I don't turn it off, but if I will set it out of sight, I get more work done. But if it's in sight and a notification goes off and it catches my peripheral, I'm going to pick it up and look.

[Jimmy]

Okay, I haven't quite fallen into this rabbit hole, but I'm thinking about diving in. It's like cut back or just get rid of your cell phone movement, just like not being as consumed by it. There was one guy who was talking psychological, supposedly neuroscience, supposedly that when you're constantly dipping to your phone and never having time to just think and problem solve or be creative all by yourself, it's like a part of your brain atrophies and so you just keep going back to what amuses you and amuses you. And so the more you have to go back to the phone, the more boredom bugs you and the more agit you are with people because you are not as able to interact with them and problem solve and deal with them and put up with. And so this guy was pushing, you gotta stop, always go and just instinctively you just grab that phone. I'm sitting here, Jim. My wife went to the garage for something. I'll look up on my phone and see what's going on. Stop doing that basically was his encouragement. And then there were a bunch of videos. Then you know how your YouTube machine just starts populating with the same theme of stuff how much better I feel at after stopping with myself. I cut back my cell phone 50% and I feel 100 times better. I'm kind of thinking about diving into that movement and then as soon as I'm done with that, I'm off to the flat earth theory. Pretty sure.

[Jimmy Hicks]

One problem at a time.

[Jimmy]

877-282-2337 all right, this is an interesting

[Jimmy Hicks]

question from Kyla Todd. Over the years I've heard a few pastors say they don't want small churches within the church. I've always taken as they don't want clicks of church members gathering at homes. Which makes sense, but brings me to the question of if a man or woman decides to have a small group at their home, does the pastor have the right to say no?

[Jimmy]

Yes, yes. And here's why we're going to assume that this is a godly pastor. He's not a control freak, but he is concerned about consumption. He's worried about what you might learn or think or do without perhaps an elder who is qualified for teaching being a part of it. Now, I don't think most pastors do have an issue with that, but I do believe that every pastor should concern. I don't mean like, oh, I'm nervous and scared about it. Should concern himself with it because he wants to make sure that what the sheep are consuming isn't going to give them a gutache. And that can happen a lot in small groups. It can. And to me, if a church is going to do small groups, I don't think that is anywhere near a sin. But I do believe the elders should be involved in the contents that are being consumed because otherwise you've got all kinds of goofiness and then everybody can sit around and contribute to the goofiness with more goofiness and all it can do is undermine that group. And all of a sudden, you got a group of people that goes and finds another place or they start their own thing. And it happens all the time. And so I do think that elders should concern themselves with the contents that are being used in small groups. And if a pastor ultimately said, hey, bro, I got some concerns about this, here's why I'd prefer you didn't do. I think it would be healthier for you if you did this. I would honor and respect that and submit to that assumption. It's because he cares, not just because he's being a control freak. There's a difference. 8, 7, 7, 2, 8, 2, 2, 3, 3, 7.

[Jimmy Hicks]

All right. This is an interesting question from Emily Todd. I recently found out that my father, who's been divorced 15 years from my mom, is dating a lady who is nearly 40 years younger than him.

[Jimmy]

Whoa.

[Jimmy Hicks]

And 20 years younger than me.

[Jimmy]

Whoa.

[Jimmy Hicks]

I can think of a gazillion ways this lac biblical and practical wisdom, but is there scripture that would speak to the sinfulness of that wide age gap? As it's been presented that there's nothing morally wrong with an age gap like

[Jimmy]

this without a Bible verse that says it's a sin, I'm always reticent to go that far. When the Bible doesn't say it's a sin, we got to be slow to say, you can't be doing that because the Bible says so. Having said that, we need to build the case. Then why would it be not wise? I guess I could have just said, why would that be unwise? But no, I chose to go with, why would that be not wise? Don't ask me why. Maybe it's because I'm unwise with not having wisdom. Point is, we got to now figure out a way. What is it about? Okay, so, Jimmy, you read it. And what did I say? Whoa. Yeah. Okay. Why?

[Jimmy Hicks]

That's right.

[Jimmy]

I don't have a Bible verse that says, you can't marry somebody that's 40 years your Jewish junior. So what is it that's a problem? I think it falls underneath the category of. I think it's two categories. Wisdom and nature. Wisdom and nature. There's going to be problems if she's 40 years younger. She's going to be wanting to do a lot more physical things than he could possibly do. It's going to cause problems. Furthermore, she's going to be young and she's going to need to be a nurse very soon, most likely, and she's going to resent that. That's dangerous. So I think wisdom is involved. Furthermore, there's going to be some societal pressure that gets put on them. There'll be plenty of awkward moments. So tell me about your daughter. That's my wife. Oh, okay. There'll be looks, there'll be things that make marriage hard. So I think wisdom is most certainly involved in trouble. Service likes, tastes, style. Look, you don't have to have everything in common with a spouse. But the fewer things that you don't have in common, the smoother things are going to go. So I would put it underneath wisdom and then this would be harder to make this case because again, you don't have a Bible verse. It just doesn't seem natural. I just think that we should be attracted to those who are about our age. Now what is about men mean? I don't know, but it's not 40 years. That's just so broad. And there's something for a 20, let's just assume Papa is 60 and she's 20. For a 20 year old young lady to be attracted to a 60 year old, I just think that's not natural and vice versa. So I think for those two reasons, nature and wisdom, probably not a great idea. Although I do think this is worth noting. This is, I think something that is observable. I think studies have been done about this. Typically the norm. Not everybody, but typically when it comes to women, women tend to progress in their attraction toward men who are of the same age. So a 20 year old typically attracted to a 20 year old when she's 50. 50, it tends to be, tends to be attracted to 50 year old males, etc. Not so with men. Not so with men. Men continue to be attracted to the younger. So when they're 50 they're still thinking 20. Then they're 70, they're still thinking 20. Now what do we do with that? Well, that might be a, if you would will, natural propensity for males, but I think that that's something that is just again I would just return to it's not natural, shouldn't be that way. You should be advancing in your attraction to somebody who is about your age. And I think that that's something that men need to ponder and consider as they get older. And I can't help but wonder if that isn't why we see these older guys always having affairs with these younger women. Women. When do you see a convertible? Well, on a reasonably nice day when it's not threatening rain, but the convertible is down, it's like a 50, 60 some year old dude with a much younger woman. Why is that? Why is it that two of the biggest scandals that we've seen in evangelical Christianity in the last several years were 70 year old guys with women decades younger? Why is that? I think in part it is because men, men kind of get stuck. They're trapped with being attracted to an age that they were 30 or 40 or 50 years ago. And I would say that that is something if you're a man who is aging, you need to be mindful of that and you need to actually work on being attracted to a woman your own age, specifically your wife. This is Wretched Radio.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Be honest. When's the last time you shared the gospel with a stranger? Not posted something online, not liked a Christian meme, but actually opened your mouth and told someone about Jesus if your stomach tightened just a little bit? You're not alone. Most Christians would rather do almost anything than evangelize. It's terrifying. What if they get mad? What if I say something wrong? What if they ask me a question I can't answer? Our resource Terrified Too. It exists because Jesus gave us the Great Commission, not the Great Suggestion, and he actually gave us the tools to obey it. And this resource will walk you through how to share the gospel with strangers, even family members, without needing Pepto Bismol to get through it. You'll still be nervous. That's normal. But you'll also be equipped. And equipped beats terrified every single time. Terrified 2. It is streaming right now for free on Fortis. Download the app right now on your smartphone, on your smart TV, or head to fortisplus.org thanks for listening to Wretched Radio today. You know, finding Bible teachers you can actually trust is not as easy as it used to be. There is a lot of content out there, but not all of it is faithful. That's what Fortis Institute is building. We've brought together a team of fellowspeople like Tim Challis, Dr. Jason Lyle, Dr. Andrew Walker, Dr. Greg Gifford, Pastor Brad Bigny, Todd Friel, Dr. John Kratz, Libby Gloucester, Dr. Adam Tyson. And they're all committed to teaching the word without apology. These aren't influencers. They're not chasing trends. These are serious teachers doing serious work. And the reason that we've been able to bring voices like this together in one place is because of our gospel partners, men and women just like you, who find value in what we're doing at Fortis Institute. And if you appreciate what we're doing and you want to be a part of it, would you Consider joining us as an ongoing monthly gospel partner. Help us to continue continue building something that matters. Just go to fortisinstitute.org right now. Wretched Amazing Grace Amazing Gospel no retreats. That's the name of Fortis Institute's spring match campaign. And we chose that name for a reason the church has been quietly backing up for years. A doctrine gets a little uncomfortable, a truth sounds a little too exclusive. So we set it aside, and before a long the gospel sounds more like an apology than an announcement. Fortas Institute is determined to push the other direction, to encourage churches to hold fast to hard truth and to proclaim the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, rightly and loudly. That's why we're inviting you to join us on the no Retreat Spring Match campaign right now through the end of May, every dollar you give is matched dollar for dollar, and your gift will help launch two new podcasts, publish Todd Frill's new book, Go Serve youe King Through HarperCollins, and fund Gospel proclamation on college campuses. The gospel doesn't move backward, and neither should we. You can find out more right [e-mail] donate.

[Todd Friel]

Important Dates in Christian history 863 A.D. cyril and Method Greek brothers evangelize the Serbs. Cyril develops the Cyrillic Alphabet, which remains the basis for the Slavonic used in the liturgy of the Russian church. Even the Alphabet can be a reminder of God's work in the world. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel.

[Jimmy]

That could be a chapter in the next book I'm thinking about writing. This is Wretched Radio. Maybe we should get this book out the door first. But after we launch Go Serve your King, which will be out in September, I have long been thinking about a book specific, typically for men. The working title, because it's so descriptive, it's not a great title, but it tells you what the contents of the book are. So you're going to be 50 or you're over 50. What are the things that you should be thinking about?

[Jimmy Hicks]

Oh, it's about aging.

[Jimmy]

Well, aging well, that's good. Just chapter after I've already got the like 15 chapters about all of these issues that men typically don't think about and they should. And at least one of the conversation that we were just having that older men tend to be stuck in their attraction toward younger women. That causes all kinds of problems because guess what? Your wife doesn't stay 20 when you turn 50 or 60. And there could be problems because if you stop being attracted to your wife because your eye is Straying to a younger woman that you're attracted to Danger, Will Robinson, you're about to take a fall. Furthermore, your wife is not going to receive the care and the affection that she needs and frankly, deserves and that we are commanded to give. And I think that there's all kinds of subjects like this that simply are not being discussed from a Christian perspective that I believe could be helpful for men. So we'll get go serve your king done. I'll work on the title and then maybe put together a book on that subject. And, Jimmy, I think what I'd like to do for it is I want to interview a bunch of older godly men.

[Jimmy Hicks]

That'd be good.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, yeah. Not just on this subject, but all of these subjects. Physical health and just not becoming a curmudgeon, not becoming old and grumpy and complaining all the time about my back and all the other problems of the world. How do you age gracefully and. Well, not sure. There's another book out there that tackles the subject, because typically we aim at young men, and those are good and right. But it seems to me that because things do change when you turn 50, we could use something like that. 8, 7, 7, 2. 8. 2, 2, 3, 3. 7.

[Jimmy Hicks]

All right. This is a question from Michael Todd. What's the difference between preaching the word of God and teaching the word of God? There are many people online talking about the Gospel and Jesus, the Holy Spirit. So how can I tell who's preaching and who's teaching?

[Jimmy]

I think we talked about this yesterday. It's one word. It's a Hebrew word, Jimmy. Do you remember what it is? The difference between teaching and preaching is volume. Well, yeah, but that's not the Hebrew word I used.

[Jimmy Hicks]

What did you use? Oh, that's right.

[Jimmy]

Preaching has some guts and some fire and some passion to it, which is also moving somebody from A to B. Teaching is talking. Preaching is exhorting and monitoring, admonishing, rebuking, encouraging. Teaching is just mere education. Preaching has education, but it has application. It has exaltation. It moves from the brain to the affections of the individual. That's the difference. And for my money, these days, I would love to see a trend of us moving from being apologists to being evangelists. Stop defending the faith. Look, we've all studied apologetics enough, haven't we? I think we've all got it down. We know the standard questions. It's a snooze fest. They're always the same. We know how to respond to those. But why aren't we moving from that, and then pressing in and pressing forward to say, you must turn to this Christ. You will be judged by this Christ. You will be condemned by this Christ, but this Christ is willing to save you. What are you going to to do with this Christ? That is so much different than. Well, you see, they used to say that they didn't know that King David existed, but it seems that they found a coin that's about that time. And it looks like the Hebrew word David might be on there. So you see, that proves the Bible is true. Repent. Look to Christ. You need this Savior. You are a guilty, condemned, criminal. God is holy, righteous and just. You're not. And it will be exposed on the Day of Judgment. And you can have a fancy car and you can live in a glamorous home, but here's the reality. You will be stripped bare of all of it. And you will stand before God and you will give an account. What will you do on that day to escape judgment? That's preaching, apologetics kind of teaching. Apologetics leans back. Evangelism presses in. We need to start exalting Christ, not apologizing for Christ. I think that would be a great trend. And I think that trend would help us to go to a campus with a more confident mindset. I wonder what question I'm not going to be able to answer today. Oh, no. What if somebody's smarter than I am about evolution and they can debate carbon 14 dating better than I can? Oh, no, who cares? Exalt Christ. Press him into their conscience. Exalt him so that he looks too good to resist. If we would go to campuses like that, we're going to be a whole lot more confident. And you know what? I think it would be a more joyful experience. We get to go to proclaim His Excellencies. That's what Peter tells us. We have the privilege of doing that. Well, well, okay, Julius Caesar, he's got like 10 manuscripts, like 900 years written after the date Bible. Got thousands within a hundred years. Apologized, but there's no Christ exaltation. Let's change the trend. Use apologetics when needed, teach when you have to preach, proclaim. That would be a good trend. 877-2-822337.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Todd, how do you know which things are cultural in the Bible and which things are eternal truth? How do I back up the fact that women in authority in the church are not just part of the culture in biblical times, but also applies today?

[Jimmy]

Sure, fair enough. So 1 Timothy 2:12 is in view here. The reason I Groaned is not because I think it's all that diffic. It usually causes fights over issues like that. Head coverings becomes an issue. Personally, I will just tell you, I'll explain how we determine cultural versus normative throughout the church age. But I will tell you this. I find that head coverings is one of the most challenging verses to make that distinction and defend that it was cultural. That is my opinion. Opinion. That's where I stand. But it ain't easy to get there. It ain't easy, especially when Paul ties it into creation. It takes a great deal of effort to separate that and to call it cultural as opposed to normative connected to creation. I admit that. Now, having said all of that, how do you do it? Well, I think most of the time you're talking about the epistles and in the epistles, here's the rule. It is not a 100% rule, but as a rule, what was written to the early church is written to us for all time in all places. Now, there are some exceptions to that, but the overwhelming rule, no, I don't have a percentage, but if I had to guess, we're talking 99% here. So we're talking about a very few things. I mean, I. And if we don't, by the way, have that understanding, well, then you could open it up to anything. How do I know that Jesus dying on a cross wasn't just for those people then? Well, now it's pretty easy to refute that. But my point is we need to have some principles and the principle that is in place when it comes to hermeneutics, what is cultural and what is for all time? 99%. I'll just use that's my statistics statistic. It is not cultural in the epistles, it's for all time. Now, having said that, how do you know You've got to do it case by case. You've got to dissect that particular verse. You've got to go look and see what the context is and what is being taught. And there is nothing in 1 Timothy 2 that would indicate this is just a cultural thing. There's no hint, there's no reference, there's no, hey, just to let you know, in our neck of the woods at this time, this is what we, we do. We don't allow women to teach or have authority, but in the future you'll be able to, or if you live in this part of the Roman Empire, you none of that. And so we would see that that is not a cultural issue. That was normative for all times. And furthermore, I do believe that the Bible then has some support for that. Because if you scoot back to the Old Testament, you don't see female priests, Greece, you don't see women serving in those roles. And so it would be a natural extension then in the New Testament for elders playing in, if you will, that role. Even though I believe in the kingdom, the priesthood of all believers playing in that role, that there would be some continuity. Furthermore, when I read the rest of one Timothy, who's it addressing? Men. Men? Men. He? Him. So I think that with that verse, we don't have any reason to suggest it would be cultural. Now I'll move it back over to women wearing head coverings. I grant you that is a harder one, but I think that it still falls on the side of that particular one was cultural. Because we do know this is where studying apologetics and studying history and studying context and knowing what was going on in the culture at that time is so helpful. Because in the culture at that time, if you would not wear a hat, it was like, whoa, whoa. That's like a cultural like way against protocol. Well, that's not the way it is at all times in all places. So I think in that instance, my opinion, you can disagree that one would be cultural, but is because of the context, the rule, 99% normative and until tomorrow, go serve your king.