Mailbag Friday: Female Chaplains, Homosexual Neighbors, & Toxic Family

Summary

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Wretched Radio Mailbag Friday: Female Chaplains, Homosexual Neighbors, & Toxic Family

Host: Todd Friel (with Jimmy Hicks, Joey, and Jason)
Date: March 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This Mailbag Friday episode of Wretched Radio with Todd Friel tackles a diverse set of listener questions centering on practical Christian living, challenging family dynamics, controversial church practices, gender roles in ministry, and engaging neighbors—particularly those who identify as homosexual—with the gospel. The tone is conversational, sprinkled with humor, biblical references, and practical wisdom aimed at helping Christians contend with real-life issues. Todd and his co-hosts provide thoughtful, sometimes nuanced, sometimes bluntly direct scriptural counsel, continually urging listeners to let the Bible—not tradition or cultural trends—guide convictions and decisions.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Disciplining Children Biblically

(02:36 - 06:25)

• Question: What should parents use for biblical discipline: hand, rod, spatula, etc.?
• Todd Friel's Response:
  • The "rod" from Proverbs doesn't need to be a literal stick but should create separation between parent and child (not the hand, if possible) and never leave marks or bruise.
  • Avoid anything uncontrolled or potentially abusive (e.g., belts, rocks, hammers).
  • The most important aspect is the parent's attitude: "Your goal in discipline is to help them love Jesus more."
  • Pray before disciplining, explain the reason biblically, and ensure your motivation is restorative—not reactionary or out of anger.
  • Caveat: Extreme public outbursts may demand quick action, but structure and heart-preparation are the norm.
• Notable Quote:

  "If you can't pray, if you can't explain it, don't do it. You will do more harm to the relationship; you might do harm to them. That is bordering on the sinful side." — Todd Friel (05:29)

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2. Baptism and Church Membership Policies

(06:25 - 10:28)

• Question: Is it biblical for a church to require membership before baptism and communion?
• Panel's Analysis:
  • The typical biblical order is: salvation → baptism → becoming part of the church → communion (as in Acts).
  • Todd recommends asking leadership to show their process in Scripture, not just tradition or historical documents.
  • While some traditions tie membership to baptism, the core principle should be biblically grounded, not just “how it’s always been done.”
  • Understand exceptional circumstances, but keep the process scriptural and transparent.
• Notable Quote:

  “Let the Bible be your arbiter and hopefully that will allow you to work it out.” — Todd Friel (09:23)

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3. Managing Toxic Family Dynamics

(16:37 - 20:47)

• Question: How can a wife protect her children from manipulative family members without sinning?
• Advice:
  • The husband should take the lead (“protector” role from 1 Peter).
  • Approach with well-prepared heart and specific examples—not anger.
  • Begin with loving confrontation, escalate consequences only if necessary and only after multiple attempts.
  • Severing relationships should be rare, and patience/endurance is the Christian default, but not at the cost of ongoing harm.
• Notable Quote:

  “We're the long-suffering people. We're the patient people. We the endure-many-things people… But it could come to [cutting off family], and it should only happen really…after many warnings.” — Jason (19:46)

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4. Female Chaplains in Mixed-Gender Settings

(20:47 - 21:58)

• Question: Is it biblical for a woman to lead devotionals at work, especially with men present?
• Panel’s Response:
  • If the audience is mixed-gender, “that’s a mega problem” per scriptural roles (1 Timothy 2).
  • For all-female settings, doctrinal error is more pertinent than gender.
  • Small doctrinal faults might be overlooked, but Cardinal errors are cause to withdraw.
• Notable Quote:

  “If it’s a mixed audience, that's a mega problem… If she's teaching women and she's off on this or that… If it's stuff that's compromising a cardinal doctrine, I would ask to be dismissed.” — Jason (21:18)

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5. Witnessing to Homosexual Neighbors

(22:07 - 26:01)

• Question: What’s the best approach to evangelizing new neighbors who are a homosexual couple with a child?
• Advice:
  • Urgency is good, but don't be unwise or adversarial.
  • Build a normal, neighborly relationship first (don’t “ding dong evangelize” on day one).
  • Let your Christian identity be visible in everyday life; bring up church/conversation naturally.
  • Show “super loving” conduct and let gospel conversations develop authentically.
• Notable Quote:

  “Witness to them with wisdom and love on them like crazy…making it natural so it doesn't become adversarial.” — Jason (24:40)

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6. Moving Out as a Young Christian Woman—Is it Sinful?

(45:07 - 48:19)

• Question: Are young women disobeying God if they move out before marriage without parental approval?
• Todd's Response:
  • Some Christian traditions prefer women stay home until marriage “for safety,” but this is wisdom, not explicit scriptural law.
  • Encourages asking parents to show chapter and verse.
  • Recognizes the value in “passing the baton” of protection, but cautions against making it a law.
  • Motivation is key—seek wisdom, not simply permission for what you desire.
• Notable Quote:

  "Could it be that you say, wisdom indicates that's the way it should go? Oh, yeah. Can you find a Bible verse that says it has to go that way? ...So I would encourage you, ...say, show me this." — Todd Friel (46:15)

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7. Someone Abandoning the Local Church

(50:06 - 53:11)

• Question: How to address a Christian friend who has left the local church out of frustration?
• Advice:
  • Invite them to a healthy church to see not all congregations are spiritually dead.
  • Membership is for mutual edification, growth, accountability, and to deploy spiritual gifts as “members of an actual body.”
  • The church body is by design imperfect; expect sanctification at different paces.
• Notable Quote:

  "Church membership, it's for your good…All of those annoying people who have bugged you so far, God actually put them inside of your local congregation to grow you. They're a blessing to you." — Jason (51:13)

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8. Why Can Unbelievers Do Good Things?

(53:11 - 54:50)

• Question: Why are unbelievers able to show genuine kindness or generosity?
• Explanation:
  • All humans are image-bearers of God; the Fall affected us totally, but not so that we can do nothing good.
  • The “good” of unbelievers is common grace, but not “good” in a way that is pleasing to God, since it’s not done in Christ—“with sinful, bloodstained hands.”
  • Only believers, cleansed by Christ, can offer works pleasing to God.
• Notable Quote:

  "Any of their good things...don't count with God because they're not in Christ...Only when you've been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ can your good deeds be...a pleasant offering to God." — Jason (54:15)

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9. Making Daily Bible Reading a Joy, Not a Chore

(32:20 - 38:25)

• Question: How to overcome daily Bible reading feeling like drudgery.
• Panel's Counsel:
  • Legalism around how and how much you read isn't biblical—variety is legitimate.
  • Experiment with different approaches: Bible study, word studies, topical paths, or focusing on specific author’s works.
  • The goal: “God's word shouldn't be drudgery. And if it's become that, you just need a new plan.”
• Notable Quote:

  “Don't follow a plan, follow a path.” — Joey (37:30)

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10. Old Testament Violence vs. Quranic Violence

(38:25 - 40:35)

• Question: How is God commanding violence in the Old Testament different from Allah’s commands in the Quran?
• Explanation:
  • God is the true, sovereign judge—He may take life or command it as He wills, as all are guilty.
  • Allah does not exist; his “commands” have no true authority.
  • The actions of God are always consistent with His justice; the morality is grounded in His being.
• Notable Quote:

  "Because one is the true God and the other one is not...God can take the life of anybody he wants to at any time. He’s fully just in doing so..." — Jason (38:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Disciplining Children:

  "If you can’t pray, if you can’t explain it, don’t do it. You will do more harm to the relationship; you might do harm to them. That is bordering on the sinful side." — Todd Friel (05:29)

• On Church Policies for Ordinances:

  "Let the Bible be your arbiter and hopefully that will allow you to work it out." — Todd Friel (09:23)

• On Family Confrontation:

  "We're the long-suffering people…But it could come to [cutting off family]…after many warnings." — Jason (19:46)

• On Female Chaplains:

  "If it’s a mixed audience, that's a mega problem." — Jason (21:18)

• On Neighbor Evangelism:

  "Witness to them with wisdom and love on them like crazy…making it natural so it doesn't become adversarial." — Jason (24:40)

• On Women Moving Out:

  "Could it be that you say, wisdom indicates that's the way it should go? Oh, yeah. Can you find a Bible verse that says it has to go that way?...So I would encourage you...say, show me this." — Todd Friel (46:15)

• On Leaving the Church:

  "Church membership, it's for your good. In fact, all of those annoying people who have bugged you so far, God actually put them inside of your local congregation to grow you." — Jason (51:13)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Discipline & the Rod: 02:36–06:25
• Baptism & Church Membership: 06:25–10:28
• Toxic Family Dynamics: 16:37–20:47
• Female Chaplains, Mixed-Gender Teaching: 20:47–21:58
• Witnessing to Homosexual Neighbors: 22:07–26:01
• Bible Reading Struggles & Strategies: 32:20–38:25
• Violence in Old Testament vs. Quran: 38:25–40:35
• Moving Out—Cultural vs. Biblical: 45:07–48:19
• Abandoning Church: 50:06–53:11
• Why Unbelievers Do “Good”: 53:11–54:50

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Closing Thoughts

This interactive and wide-ranging Mailbag Friday episode typifies Wretched Radio: Scripturally grounded, pastorally sensitive, and unafraid of controversial issues. Todd and the team continually urge listeners to anchor practical decisions in biblical truth—be it in discipline, church life, or neighborly evangelism—reminding believers that wisdom, patience, and gospel love must mark the Christian’s response to a messy world.

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Transcript

[Todd Friel]

Wretched radio begins in 3, 2, 1.

[Jimmy Hicks]

I identify as a transgender woman.

[Jason]

I identify as a straight transgender female. There is no such thing as transgender. You're either XX or xy. But honestly, I don't really identify as human. I'm tired of being humanized for the comfort of other people. God made man male and female. That is determined genetically. That is physiology. That is science.

[Jimmy Hicks]

That is reality.

[Todd Friel]

It's time for Wretched Radio with Todd Friel.

[Jason]

Off we go.

[Todd Friel]

It's the Wretched Radio Mail call delivery bag Q and A infotainment nationwide extravaganza featuring your voicemails, correspondences, communiques, dispatches, memorandums, and misses.

[Jason]

Any special message for all the kids watching at home? What we need right now is a clear message to the people of this country. You have 1200 messages. That is a bit above average.

[Todd Friel]

Now here's your host, Todd. Freakishly Tall Friel is here.

[Jason]

Ooh. This is Fashion Radio. That show opening is so long.

[Jimmy Hicks]

How long is it?

[Jason]

I was able to take two bites of my pottage and a sip of water. I'm not. I wish I were kidding. Jimmy.

[Joey]

Yes?

[Jason]

What's the difference between porridge and pottage?

[Joey]

I have no idea.

[Jason]

Me neither. But I'm eating some. It's. It's microwave a licious. This is Wretched Radio. What are you eating? Send it to us. Recipe. Oh, by the way, Jimmy. Yes? I didn't think scones could be so delicious. Jason's wife, Joanie. Oh, she made. They were white chocolate with this glaze on top. And it didn't feel like you were eating sawdust, which you know what? Cause I think typical scones, it's the exact same ingredients that you put into pottage. Not sure, but I think it's probably. It sounds like it, doesn't it? Because Esau, he ate the pottage. Wasn't porridge was pottage. And I have no idea what it was. I hope it was delicious, Esau. Cause you kind of gave up your birthright for that. Those scones were delicious, I'm telling you. So if you have a good recipe, you can send that to [e-mail] or anything wretched for that matter. Well, not a recipe that's wretched. That wouldn't be kind. But if you see something wretched, you can send that to ideaetched.org or text. Shouldn't have tried stuffing two spoonfuls down. Out of breath. 877-7-282-2337.

[Joey]

This is a text from Anonymous. Todd, what should parents biblically discipline their children with? Hands, spanking rod, spank, spatula, ruler, proverbs, talks about the rod often. But are we to use a literal rod? What are some of the things that we shouldn't use?

[Jason]

Rocks, axes, golf club. Golf club, you know, ball peen, hammer, stuff like that. But that's pretty self evident. Personally, I don't think it's ideal to use the hand. No, I don't think it's a sin to do that. But I think the rod separates you from the act of discipline as opposed to the hand. So whatever sort of switch, if you will, that doesn't leave a mark. We don't want to bruise children. We want their physical body to get a message that they send to their inner person to help them understand the sting of sin, to help them understand there's consequences to bad behavior and to curb them. And sometimes it simply just gets their attention. So I don't think there's a rule. A wooden spoon, I remember that well. Wow. We went through a lot of wooden spoons in our house. Three boys and one drawer full of wooden spoons. I'm telling you. So you can use anything that I think that I don't like personally. The belt idea, I don't think it's controllable. I think it's probably in order to have it have some sting to it, you're probably going to overdo it. So something that keeps you from being violent, something that keeps from making marks, and something that gives distance between you and the disciplined one. Now, having said all of that, the more important element is your heart when you go to discipline your child, that it can so easily get out of control if your heart is not prepared. A very good rule of thumb is before you ever even think about disciplining your child physically with the rod, which is the biblical prescription, it can be a switch. Whatever you choose to use, pray, pray. And also now you're not going to be able to do this every single time. I'll get to the caveat in a moment. But make sure that you explain the discipline to your child. Your goal in discipline is to help them love Jesus more. That will guide you and it will explain the purpose for the punishment. It is so that they can understand the gospel. If you can't pray, if you can't explain it, don't do it. You will do more harm to the relationship, you might do harm to them. That is bordering on the sinful side. So you want to make sure your heart is ready and your agenda is clear. Now what might be the caveats to that? You've got a kid out in public, they're having a total meltdown. You can't seem to talk them into some form of sanity. And sometimes a swat is needed. I get that you don't want to make laws all over the place with this, but I think that's probably the exception. Discipline. It should be really far more structured than it so often is because parents have a tendency to just. I've had it with you. Whack. That is not biblical discipline. That's sinning, quite honestly. 8, 7, 7, 2, 8, 2, 2, 3, 3, 7.

[Joey]

Alright. This is from Joni Todd. This past year, a woman came to the Lord. She was vetted by the pastor and elders, and when she wanted to be baptized and have communion, they told her that she had to be a member of the church before they would baptize her and allow her to have communion. I don't understand how a pastor can withhold baptism and communion when you are positive, to the best of your knowledge, that this woman is indeed saved.

[Jason]

Well, it's the order there that's a little confusing to me. I've never heard that before, have you?

[Joey]

I don't think so, no.

[Jason]

Normally it's baptism. Well, there are reformed folks who would say baptism is your church membership. That is the initiation into the church. You would have to. This is. I've heard some unusual prescriptions for church membership and baptism. Here's what I think is the most helpful thing that you can do to guide yourself through the process. I've even, for instance, I've heard that there are some church who would say to a woman or to the man, but specifically, I recall for the woman, if your husband isn't willing to become a member, you can't become a member. What do you do in those circumstances where it seems that the prescription or the order of membership, baptism, communion, seems to be off. You simply respectfully and lovingly ask them, could we work through this biblically? Can you show me biblically where this principle that you're applying is clearly spelled out? Because I think we can make the case pretty repetitively. You get saved, you get baptized, you're added to the church, you take communion. If you're looking for the Acts pattern, that is definitely it. So to keep the conversation biblical, just keep asking them, can you show me an example of this, say in the Book of Acts? Can you show me where this is clearly stated in an epistle? Let the Bible be your arbiter and hopefully that will allow you to work it out. Now, could I understand a church saying Something like I can imagine. I personally, it's like, I get it. But Todd, explain to yourself, if somebody said, I want to be baptized by you, and if the church said, well, we'd love to participate in that, are you planning on becoming a member of this church? Now, some churches would say that makes you a member, but to the individuals who would say that, that's a separate act that needs to take place, becoming a member of a church. And if the person said, no, no, I don't, could I understand a church possibly saying, well, if you're not willing to become a member, you should find the church where you plan on becoming a member and getting baptized there. Now, if it's somebody who's in a pinch and it's a. Okay, get it. But I think I can understand a church wanting to deny baptism to somebody who for whatever reason, isn't willing to become a member of the church. Those few little asterisks aside, I think the biblical pattern, get saved, get baptized, and make it lickety split. By the way, become a member of that church and then start taking communion at that church. That is a very defensible order. Jimmy, you got anything to add to that?

[Joey]

I mean, no, I completely agree. I mean, in this particular situation, for Joni, who wrote in, I mean, it is a little bit different. It is a little bit different because I haven't heard that, especially with her saying that the woman came to the Lord and as the email sounds, it was by the pastor or the elder. So you would think baptism would be on the front burner.

[Jason]

I will try to find this. Somebody had sent me an email and I went to their church to see how they articulate this and support what their issue was. It wasn't quite the same as this one. And it was actually a Southern Baptist church and they had a document that they referred to from like 1720 or something. I'd never heard of it before and I think that it was kind of articulated there, but it was more of a principle that any of the ordinances should be done by a pastor. Okay, I understand that, but it was being applied in such an unusual way. My encouragement to that person was simply sit down with your Bibles open to let the Bible. Not a document from 1720 that has a principle with a current application, let the Bible be the judge. This is wretched radio.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Be honest. When's the last time you shared the

[Joey]

gospel with a stranger?

[Jimmy Hicks]

Not posted something online, not liked a Christian meme, but actually opened your mouth and told someone about Jesus? If your stomach tightens just a little bit.

[Joey]

You're not alone.

[Jimmy Hicks]

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[Joey]

That's normal.

[Jimmy Hicks]

But you'll also be equipped. And equipped beats terrified Every single time. Terrified2 it is streaming right now for free on Fortis. Download the app right now on your smartphone, on your smart TV, or head to fortisplus.org

[Jason]

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[Jimmy Hicks]

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[Joey]

That sounds like somebody's uncle. Is that the guy that always comes

[Jimmy Hicks]

and just stays quiet in the back

[Joey]

of the small group?

[Jimmy Hicks]

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[Todd Friel]

Titles of Christ in the Bible, Jesus is given many titles that teaches us about who he is and what he has done. Jesus is called the wisdom of God. The wisdom of man says we can earn God's favour through good works. But the wisdom of God is made known in Jesus Christ. God in human flesh put to death on the cross to grant us forgiveness we cannot earn. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel.

[Jason]

If you're looking for sage wisdom, you've come to the right place. This is Wretched Radio. Here's a little tip for you. This could serve you well in life if you make yourself some microwave oatmeal. So slash pottage, slash porridge. Eat it immediately while it's hot. I'm just telling you. Oh. Cause if you wait 11 minutes to finish it. And can I ask. Hello, I've got a question. Give me your number so I can send you a text asking you the question, why does everything have protein in it these days?

[Joey]

That's the thing.

[Jason]

It is constant. I know. It's gotta be a trend. I get it. Protein is good. You need it for muscle and you don't get weak and all that, especially as you get older. But cereal, really, breakfast cereal? It's a Cap' N Crunch with protein, Captain. Oh, I know. I think I remember the comedian that did this bit. It was crunch. Kind of dangerous. It's so sharp you can eat a hole through the top of your head if you're not careful. That stuff could shred the roof of your mouth. I'm telling you, absolutely. More sage wisdom Monday through Friday here on Wretched Radio. Would you please send your questions, comments, conundrum, snarks to ideaetched.org or text away to 877-282-2337.

[Joey]

All right, this is from Sarah. Todd. I'm a mom to four kids and my parents and one of my sisters are people who constantly enjoy stirring the pot. So much so that they will lie and manipulate anything and anyone. How do I protect my children as they're getting older? How do I talk to my kids about this so that I'm not sinning?

[Jason]

May I encourage you, please, if you're listening to this, to go grab your hubby and have him come join you, because this is his job. Why? Because I think that the imagery that we have in First Peter is of the husband putting his arm around the wife. He's a protector, even from relatives, even from moms and sisters. So I would encourage you to get your husband involved because this is the role that he should be playing. You shouldn't have to get engaged in this potential skirmish because it could become a bit of an issue. Sir, if you're now listening, simply sit down with them. Whether you have your wife with or not, that is up to you. But sit down with them lovingly and make sure your heart is prepared before you do to lay out for them. Hey, I wanted to bring something to your attention that we really need to work on. Here it is. On this date this happened. On this date that happened. On this date that happened. I've been seeing a pattern. It's been causing some struggles in my home. And so I'm coming to you to bring it to your attention because maybe you're not aware of it. Just to inform you, to let you know that we really don't want to have instances like this again. Cool. Thanks for your time. Pass the scones. Hopefully they're the ones that Joni made. If it continues to happen, you pray for your heart again. You sit down and say, hey, do you remember we talked about this? I laid out the examples. Here's another demonstration. I gotta ask you to please stop doing this. I can't let my wife be getting distracted from child race. She has got a very full time gig with four children and it hurts our heart. So please work on this. Is there anything I can do to help you? And then drop it. And if it happens again, you just turn up the heat each time until you get to the point. And there's no textbook on this, but I do think after, say, time number four, depending on how bad these actions are, of course you could say, I'm sorry, this is our fourth conversation about this. I can't have another one. If this doesn't stop, I'm truly sorry, but I can't have you treating my wife like this and embroiling her in these issues, whatever they happen to be. In other words, I'm going to have to cut you off from my wife and from your grandchildren and from your nieces and nephews. I don't want that. But if it happens again, that will be the consequence for a season of my determination. And then you can. That is, by the way, that should be mostly the exception. But there are times when it is needed. That is a far cry, however, from the toxic parenting cutoff trend that we see. You know, my dad, he knows it. That I don't like him clipping his nails at our house. They're out of here. I Don't want to see those Christmas, they can do it all by themselves. That's just not the way culture, society will tell you that. But that's not the way Christians act. We're the long suffering people. We're the patient people. We the endure many things people. And so we don't want to be quick to cut them off. But it could come to that. But it should only happen really. Unless it was something that was like a physical threat issue that needed to be cut out immediately, or many warnings have been given with increasing intensity. 877-28-22337.

[Joey]

This is from Ruth that she texted in Todd. The hospital I work for has a female chaplain that comes and talks to us once or twice a month. She gives a small devotional and a small speech about it. There have been some things that she said that I do not agree with. However, I don't feel comfortable with her teaching or leading this devotional. Am I being overly judgmental or are my feelings or concerns biblically logical?

[Jason]

No. Yes. No, you're not. First of all, if it's a mixed audience, that's a mega problem. But if she's not teaching well to women, then of course you should be sensitive to that. Now, are there things, of course, that you can overlook? Yeah, there are things that you can overlook. There are doctrinal issues that don't rise to the level of even secondary issues. You can just let those things go. Besides, we're all going to say stuff that maybe has got a little. Don't have to disqualify her. If she's teaching women and she's off on this or that. If it's stuff that's compromising a cardinal doctrine, I would ask to be dismissed. 877-282-2337.

[Joey]

So my wife. This is from Charlie. My wife.

[Jason]

I thought it was you.

[Joey]

What?

[Jason]

You didn't say.

[Joey]

Oh, yeah, you thought. I was just asking.

[Jason]

So it sounded like Jimmy had an issue with his wife.

[Joey]

No, no, no, no. She leaves those cabinet doors open so much. Now Charlie says my wife and our four kids, ages 7 and younger, moved into a new neighborhood and we're starting to meet our neighbors. Looks like we'll soon be having some new neighbors. A few do. Homosexual men with a toddler. They obviously need the Lord like anyone else. So we're thinking we should witness to them asap upon meeting them. Have any advice?

[Jason]

Well, you know, meeting them asap and witnessing to them. There's urgency, of course, but let me just ask you this question. You move into the neighborhood. And the Hare Krishna comes to ding dong. Hey, you're our new neighbors. Ding, ding, ding, ding ding. Would you like to become a Hare Krishna? You'd be like, whoa, hold the phone. What are your names again? Where do you live in which house? Maybe you could get to know them a bit. Don't use this as an excuse to put it off ad infinitum. But you maybe just, hey, neighbor, nice to meet you. Glad to see you. Which house do you live in? How long have you been here? And maybe after you make that determination, it could be something as simple as when you see them, hey, do you know of any good churches around here? Where do you go to church? As part of the conversation. Where do you go to church? That's always a great door opener. And that could lead into a more natural conversation. And it will not probably be deemed as being adversarial. They're going to know you're Christians fast enough. I promise you they will know. All of our neighbors know, if nothing else, when they see us going to church on Sunday morning. And I'm sorry, this is a total aside. And they know we're going to church because they see the way we dress. I can't make a law on this, but when we used to dress up and we used to go out for breakfast afterwards and we would see somebody who clearly wasn't in church, both parties knew it. You didn't go to church, did you? And they looked at us and went, oh, you went to church. I didn't. I can't make a law. But it used to be a testimony. They're going to know that you're a Christian and you can use the language that you want to let them know, hey, we're going. You know, wish we could do this. We can't. We're going to church. We do this, we're involved with that. They're going to know that you are Christians. Share with them as naturally as you possibly can so that it doesn't become adversarial. Because. And I don't know these neighbors, but they might be of that tribe that can be very on edge about Christians, angry at Christians. So you want to practice some wisdom. And I think that that would probably be that key word right there. Wisdom is maybe what I think is the. The permission that you have to not do it immediately, like, first time you meet them. Besides, we don't usually do that with. Unless it's like a casual thing. You're on an airplane first time you meet them. Last time you're going to meet them. You try to witness to them. But typically we don't do that when we meet people. So make it natural, work it in and it sounds like you will be anyway. Be super loving. Be super loving. We used to have two sets of neighbors that were gay. We now just have one. They know we care about them and that is wow. I'm just telling you it makes all the difference in the world. So witness to them with wisdom and love on them like crazy. This is Wretched Radio,

[Jimmy Hicks]

And it's now time for your daily Fortis Newsbreaker production of Fortis Institute. The University of Oregon has announced it will begin dispensing abortion pills to students starting this fall, making it the second university in the state to do so. The move was driven by a coalition of campus groups, including the Young Democratic Socialists of America and the student government, who lobbied for years to bring chemical abortions on campus. The university says it's responding to strong student interest and calls it the next necessary step in reproductive care. And Oregon state government is doing its part to allocating $7.5 million to a dozen Planned Parenthood locations to offset lost federal Medicaid reimbursements. Meanwhile, in Minnesota, state lawmakers are considering a bill to recognize the inherent right to life of wild rice. Yep, a tribal rights attorney argued the bill doesn't grant rights to wild rice. It simply recognizes the plant's inherent right to exist because it's alive. Apparently, that logic applies to grain but not to children, since Minnesota allows abortion up to the moment of birth. The bill's lead sponsor is one of the state's most vocal abortion advocates. So in Minnesota, Rice has a right to life. Babies? Not so much. Starbucks founder Howard Schultz has joined the billionaire flight from the blue states because he's announced he's moving from Seattle to a $44 million penthouse in South Florida. He joins Mark Zuckerberg, Sergey Brin and Larry Page, all of whom located to Miami in just the last two months. Schultz says he's chasing his next adventure and made no mention of the Washington State House passing a new 9.9% income tax on millionaires. That very same day, former San Jose State volleyball player Brooke Slusser is facing a wave of vicious online attacks. After detailing what it was like to share beds and living quarters with a biological male teammate, Slusser says administrators told her that the teammate was female as and once the truth came out, her coach threatened scholarships if anyone talked. The Office of Civil Rights found San Jose State violated Title ix, but instead of complying, the university sued the federal government. A high school English teacher went viral this week, sharing what her freshman said while reading Romeo and Juliet. Among the highlights Was there time back then? Is Shakespeare a real person? Because I thought maybe he was one of those Greek gods. It would be funnier if it weren't a snapshot of what decades of declining educational standards actually look like in a classroom. And that wraps up today's Fortis Newsbreak. I'm Jimmy Hicks. If you want more, you can download Fortis or sign up to become a Fortis Insider for exclusive daily content. Both of those things can be done right now at fortisinstitute.org, and don't forget, you can also subscribe to Fortis News on your favorite podcast app in order to get these updates sent directly to you daily. And until tomorrow, go serve your king.

[Todd Friel]

Lexicon There are many words to help us understand the nature of the Bible. Words like sensus literalis. The Bible is to be read in the literal sense, the way the author and original audience would have understood it. There is no code, no secret meaning to be uncovered. The Bible is plainly written so that all people can know God through its pages. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel.

[Jason]

You see wretched things. We have a wretched email. It's a match. This is Wretched Radio. If you stumble on something wretched on the Internet, there's a lot to stumble over, isn't there? Send it to us ideaetched.org you can include questions or comments, conundrums. Hey, here's one for you. How's about this? Try to keep it as pithy as possible. How's it about just some testimonies? How's it about just some hey, God healed my daughter of this or hey, my brother just got saved. How's about some good news stuff? Wouldn't that be nice? I love testimonies. I mean, I really, really love testimonies. I'm telling you, I'm like, ooh, if it didn't kind of go against pretty much everything I believe about the regulative principle of worship, I would have a testimony in church every Sunday just by way of encouragement to the body. You get to see the Lord's handiwork active in the life of another believer. Oh, I like testimonies. We were supposed to start incorporating that we do. Thursday nights is our midweek, so it's not really. Well, actually is Wednesday midweek? No, you can't. Unless it's a three and a half day midweek.

[Joey]

It depends on what your day number one Is exactly my point.

[Jason]

So our midweek, I say without feeling shame to Wednesday night Bible study people. Well, we get together and it's a little bit more organic. We've got plenty of teaching, we sing, there's prayers that take place. And we were gonna have somebody do a testimony last week. Jason forgot. Jason and I got to tell you something. Something happened at our Thursday night study. I have not had a chance to see Corey teach. He's a young man in our congregation and he'd been teaching some different men's groups meetings. I had never seen him. I got to be in a class with him on Thursday night when he was teaching. Oh, what a joy it was. Oh, I'm telling you, the dude just nailed it. This is how good it was. Jimmy, you'll be able to appreciate this. I actually sat and listened. Seriously, you know what I'm talking about. Because otherwise somebody gets up there and it's like, well, I've never seen you before. I don't know how good you are at this. You better make any mistakes and you take out your theological Ginsu knives and you're hacking them to pieces in your mind. Didn't do any of that.

[Joey]

Wow.

[Jason]

Just enjoyed it. It was confident. It was pastoral in tone, content was rich, Christ centered. It was awesome. 877-282-2337.

[Joey]

This is from Bill Todd. For my entire Christian walk, I've struggled reading my Bible. I love it. I love studying the Bible. I love hearing the Bible preached. I have even loved teaching the Bible in small group settings. But the everyday discipline of opening my Bible and reading it has been. I have tried everything. Different translations, different Bibles, devotionals, plans, everything. Seems like a silly problem, but it's a very real problem for me.

[Jason]

Well, I want to be careful with this because I don't want to whiplash one way or the other. Because one ditch would be, hey, don't worry about it sounds like you're in your Bible. Don't worry about the daily deal. If that just isn't like your cup, I don't want to be that quick to do that. On the other hand, if you are studying your Bible, if you are not just learning from your Bible but you are growing from it and your affections are being stirred, I would be a little bit hesitant to say you've got to be reading it this way every day. Do I think you should be in the Bible every day? I do. No, I can't find a Bible verse that mandates within a 24 hour clock, you've got to read X number of verses. I can't do that. But the Bible points in the direction of why wouldn't you want to read it as often as you could? It's like honey, the statutes of the Lord, they are da bomb diggity. That's a Hebrew word. Why wouldn't we want to be reading it every day? Now if you're just struggling to read it in that way, my encouragement would be find a way to read it that does excite you. So don't make up. So the way that whatever, because I don't know the details here, so whatever the way is that he's reading it, that he thinks that he should be reading it every day. If that's not working, then read it a different way. Find a way to make sure that you're reading your Bible on a daily basis where it doesn't feel like a pistol whipping. Use your Bible to grow. And we've talked about these different ways. There's like five, six, seven, eight different ways that we've shared that you can read the Bible. You can go find those in the archives, but find one of those ways so that you can be in there every day and be disciplined. But don't be overly rigid with the way that you read the Bible every day. Because there are some days that. Okay, so here's a for instance, you're a pastor and you're doing your sermon study every single day. Now you're in the Word every day. That's a good thing. Do I think that your missing out if you don't just spend some time reading it not in preparation for Sunday, but just reading it and potentially using it so that you can talk to the Lord about what you're reading. Do I think that that's good? Yes. Would I club a pastor if he's missing a day or two here or there? I don't want to be doing that either. We should be thrilled to read it. So figure out the way that it thrills you and don't make a law that it has to be read a particular way on a particular day. Jimmy, did I find the balance there?

[Joey]

Yeah, I think so. I think the cause it sounds like he loves the Lord according to his email. You know, I think he's got to find a way that matches how he's wired.

[Jason]

I do too. But okay, so here's what I. For instance, I'd love to be able to talk to the fellow. So he said that he loves studying the Bible. All right, so do that every day. Study your Bible. I mean, it sounded like studying his Bible versus reading his Bible. Well, you're reading your Bible when you're studying your Bible and you don't have to read 10 chapters. You don't have to read 10 words if you don't want to. You can read one word and you can dwell on that for an hour if you want to. But if you like studying your Bible, then make that your daily practice. But then I would encourage you, before you close the book and run off to do your business, why don't you pray about it? Then it does become devotional. Then it does become a worship element as opposed to just studying your Bible. It's always tricky. You don't want to become antinomian or to become loose. Let go, let God. Just don't worry about these things. No, I don't want to do that. But I don't wanna make a law where there is no law. So figure out your thing when it comes to daily Bible reading. And your thing might change over the months or seasons. You don't always have to do it the same way every day for the rest of your life. Jimmy, for instance, what is your thang?

[Joey]

What is my thing?

[Jason]

Yeah, how do you do it?

[Joey]

So I like to. I've done everything, obviously, and I found what works for me is not necessarily a reading plan. I don't follow a plan. I follow a path. So last year I walked through the promises of God, and this year I've been going through the attributes of God.

[Jason]

Okay, so that is what keeps it alive and engaging for you.

[Joey]

That's right.

[Jason]

Don't follow a plan, follow a path. I am going to tweet at as soon as it is possible. Okay, that is a good way to. And there's a gazillion ways to do that type of thing. Word study. You know what? I'm gonna read all of the books by John. So that's five books that you get to read. And as I read through those five books, I'm gonna be thinking about John and the other books and how this compares and the consistency of John. What can I even learn about John as I read? Read these five books. Create your own path. And it doesn't need to be the same even every single day if you don't want it to. God's word shouldn't be drudgery. And if it's become that, you just need a new plan. 8 7, 7, 2, 8 2, 2, 33 7.

[Joey]

This is an email from James Todd. How is God telling people in the Old Testament to kill people of other nations? Who aren't his people and haven't repented. Different than the Quran where Allah is commanding them to kill non Muslims who

[Jason]

won't convert because one is the true God and the other one is God can command. God can take the life of anybody he wants to at any time. And he's fully just in doing so. Why? Because anybody who's committed a sin is guilty and deserves death, temporal and eternal death. And so God can command that anytime he wants to. This is helpful when it comes to the issue of war and capital punishment and even death, especially when somebody dies at what we would consider to be a premature age. You know, we have a tendency. We hear somebody died. Oh, how old were they? Oh, 84. Well, okay, as opposed to 18, we go, no. I think what really helps with that is understanding that everybody who dies, everybody, 84, 18, it is because God has set their death date. Everybody, every dog, every turtle, every human, he determines when they're born. He determines when they die. And because we know the character and the nature of God, we can then rest in that. Okay, God is good. And I can know that he only does good things for his children. And the date that he has determined is the best possible date. And so I can rest in that. Now take that knowledge and impose it on the Old Testament. It was not wrong for God to tell the Israelites do this to those people because he's the just judge of all the earth. He always does that which is right. And if he desires to do so, then it is good and it is wrong. Right? Allah, he has no right because he doesn't exist. This is Wretched Radio.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Hey, thanks for listening to Wretched Radio today. Now be honest with me for a second. Is your marriage thriving or is it just surviving? Are you and your spouse building something together or are you just really trying to get through another week without another major blowup? And Fortis Institute fellow pastor Brad Bigny hosts a podcast called Thrive. And that's exactly what it's all about. What it looks like for marriages and families to actually flourish instead of just holding it all together. Brad is a pastor, he's a certified biblical counselor, and as I said, a Fortis Institute fellow. And he brings decades of experience to helping real couples work through the real stuff. And this is the kind of Christ centered content that we're producing every single day here at Fortis Institute. And it's only made possible because of our gospel partners. And if our ministry has helped you in any type of way, we would love it if you would prayerfully Consider joining us as an ongoing monthly gospel partner. Help us reach more families with the truth of God's word. You can find out how right now at fortisinstitute.org wretched amazing grace amazing Gospel.

[Joey]

Your son asked to use your cell

[Jimmy Hicks]

phone yesterday, and for just a split second your heart stopped. And it wasn't because of what you

[Joey]

thought he might find.

[Jimmy Hicks]

You're careful about that, but because because of what you knew he wouldn't find. Evidence of a man actually living for Christ. See, our kids don't care about our Sunday morning Christianity. They watch us when we think no one's looking. They notice when dad disappears into his

[Joey]

office and locks the door. What if your son could actually see

[Jimmy Hicks]

a father who's genuinely free, a dad whose private life matches up with his public faith? That's not a fantasy, it's an actual reality. Because men experience that transformation every every day when they stop trying to manage their sin and let Christ kill it instead. Todd Friel's Play the Man shows you exactly how that works. There's no gimmicks, there's no quick fixes.

[Joey]

It's just full of biblical truth about how God transforms men.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Play the man by Todd Friel. It's available right now as an audiobook and e book and video series [e-mail] hey look. Some battles, they're just too important to lose.

[Joey]

Well, you can't judge me.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Yeah, you've heard that a thousand times. It's the verse people quote when they don't want to be corrected. Even people who've never opened a Bible. But here's the Is that actually what Scripture teaches? Or have we been misreading one of the most misunderstood commands in the entire Bible? Thou Shalt Judge is a 13 lesson series with Todd Friel and Justin Peters that sets the record straight. They demonstrate why failing to discern truth from error doesn't doesn't make you loving, it makes you dangerous. Righteous judgment isn't hateful. It's one of the most loving things you can do because it protects people from the damage of false teaching. This series even includes a free study guide. It's perfect for your family, your youth group, or just working through yourself. If you've ever been told that calling something wrong makes you the problem, this is one you'll want to watch. It's streaming free on Fortis right now. Download the app where you download apps on your smartphone, your smart TV, or just simply go to fortisplus.org.

[Todd Friel]

Attributes of God Psalm 115 verse 3 says that God does all that he pleases. God is sovereign over his whole creation. He has the right and the power to govern all things according to his will. Nothing occurs in your life that God in his sovereignty has not allowed. He is working all things for his glory and the good of those who love Him. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel.

[Jason]

Apparently Jimmy has food we know not of. This is Wretched Radio. I'm shocked that you've been able to get through this. When was the last time you consumed

[Joey]

a calorie On Saturday,

[Jason]

dude? Yeah, a week ago.

[Joey]

That's right.

[Jason]

How are you standing up? Aren't you getting a little like, whoa, I'm seeing spots. Nothing?

[Joey]

No, I've done this before. I drink plenty of electrolytes.

[Jason]

Ah, well, that's a good thing to do.

[Joey]

Yes.

[Jason]

And you're taking your vitamins? Yes, as they say in New Zealand. And no food whatsoever?

[Joey]

Well, no, I don't want to give off a wrong impression. I do eat a couple of boiled eggs every morning because I take medicine for my ms, so I have to have medicine.

[Jason]

You gotta have food in your guts.

[Joey]

Yeah, but it's just a couple of boiled eggs and that's it.

[Jason]

Ooh, do you eat the yolk? Yeah, that's right up there with pottage or porridge or oatmeal that just sat there for far too long. 877-282-2337.

[Joey]

This is from Anonymous. Todd, I'm in my 20s. I have a deep faith and I want to follow where God leads me. Spoke to my parents and they said that they would not approve of me leaving their home. They say that if I leave and move out at this point, it's a sin. And I was told by others that if I leave without their approval, it would be dishonoring them, dishonoring God outside of God's will, sinning and I would be condemned. Is it a sin to leave?

[Jason]

Are we talking about a young man or a young woman here?

[Joey]

Anonymous.

[Jason]

I'm gonna have to believe this is a young woman because I do know that there are genuine, sweet dear believers who hold to the view that a woman should not be leaving the protection of the home until she gets married and then she moves from the safety of mom and dad into the safety of husband and the baton, if you will, of safety and protection has been passed, and therefore it would be considered very bad or in this instance, a sin for a woman to leave the home and go out on her own. I know a lot of people who are like that. And there is something to be appreciated about that. But here's the question. What Bible verse says that's the way it has to go? Could it be that you say, wisdom indicates that's the way it should go? Oh, yeah. Can you find a Bible verse that says it has to go that way? Now, I know the effort would be made that they would say, look, they're in this covenant, the parental covenant, and until they go into this other covenant, then they still are the responsibility of the original covenant. I get that. I don't know, though, that that would be considered an explicit verse. I think you could safely put that into the implicit verse category, but I don't think explicit verse. So when the case has to be built with several steps to get there, I put it into the category of that's wisdom. But I don't know that I can make it a law. And so I would encourage you, if you can, to sit down with mom and dad with your Bibles open and say, show me this. Would you please show me? I don't want to be sinning, mom and dad, but I need the Bible to persuade me because it's my heart's desire to do this thing. Now, having said all of that, do I think that there is wisdom? If a woman can stay at home and have a family surrounding her, they know where she is, that she didn't show up at this time, therefore there could be danger? Yeah. I think you should consider the wisdom of that before just moving out. It's the world's trend to move out as quickly as possible. But wisdom might indicate, I think that notion, that concept of the baton. Passing of the baton of safety. Passing is at least wise. Jimmy, you got anything to add to that?

[Joey]

No, I think it is.

[Jason]

No, you don't have to worry about it. You don't have any girls.

[Joey]

That's true.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Joey]

I'm trying to kick my boys out.

[Jason]

Now, that, by the. That's another interesting thought experiment, isn't it? I wonder if that same rule applies to the boys now. I doubt it. Why explore that? Do it respectfully. Do it like you're trying to learn. Don't do it like Tucker Carlson did with Mike Huckabee, is what I'm saying. Pretty sure he kind of had an agenda there, just as. Okay, mom and dad, explain it to me. Now, my brother, he gets to move out. How come? And if they say, well, safety. Okay, I appreciate that. And wisdom, I think, supports that understanding. But is wisdom a mandate when it comes to your living? Does that mean that you can't go out because it might not be as safe for you because you're a girl versus a boy. So I think how you approach it with mom and dad, start there with your Bibles, asking questions and if necessary, if you believe that it's necessary, could you talk to your elders about it? Sure, you could. You could talk to them about it. But heart motivation is crucial in all of these things. If it's like, okay, I got to find somebody here who's going to tell my parents to. That might be the output of it, the outcome of it. But don't go seeking the end the agenda that you want. Go seeking wisdom. I want to be a great daughter. Help me, because this is what they're saying. I'm not seeing it. How would you recommend I approach this? And I want to continue to honor my father and my mother. 877-282-2337.

[Joey]

Okay, here's in a text from Anonymous. Todd, how do you navigate working with a brother in Christ who's abandoned the local church? He says he's getting gotten frustrated with so many people who sit in pews for decades and it doesn't change them at all because they just show and don't really seek the Lord outside the walls. I don't know how to confront him about it or if I even should since his mind seems so made up.

[Jason]

Yeah, well, I wonder, do you go to the same church? Because you could bring them to your church. Hey, bro, come to my church. I'm going to introduce you to some. You're going to see that not every church and not all Christians act like that. And even, bro, if you're not persuaded by it, here's the deal. Church membership, it's for your good. In fact, all of those annoying people who have bugged you so far, God actually put them inside of your local congregation to grow you. They're a blessing to you. They could also be considered a ministry for you. They maybe need some maturation that you could provide for them by showing them what it looks like to be an integrated Christian, one who is involved in church, one whose heartbeat is for the local church. You can't be abandoned in church, bro. So we got to figure out a way to get you plugged back in. Now, if you need a time of healing, I get that. But we want to expedite that healing because you need to understand church by its nature. It's got sinful people in it. And one of the fastest ways to become bitter is to be critiquing everybody's sanctification process and how they're performing at the church, you'll be miserable every single time. So let's go to work on your healing, and then let's go to work on finding a church. And by the way, you're never going to find a church where everybody is always plugged in. You're never going to find it. And it's okay because people are at different places, they're in different trajectories of sanctification and understanding of the beauty of the local church. So we got to get you plugged in. Furthermore, there's one more issue, and that is safety. If you are not a member of a local church, who's going to come find you when you ride off the range? Hmm? When you start sinning, when you start becoming theologically wonky, who's gonna rescue you? You need to be in a local church. It is for your good. It is for your protection. Furthermore. Okay, wait, I got another one. Your gift. You've got at least one spiritual gift. You can't use it to its max outside of the context of the local church. Now, somebody would say, well, sure I can. I can use it outside. Yeah, you can, but that's not the design of it. The design of your spiritual gift is to be used in the context of a local body where you work as members of an actual body. You're an elbow. We need you. Elbow. Don't run away. Furthermore, you don't get to act like an elbow if you're not connected to the rest of the body. So for all of those reasons, dude, let's see if we can. I'll walk with you through this. Let's get you to where you can't walk. Wait. To go to church on Sunday morning. Something like that. 877-282-2337.

[Jimmy Hicks]

All right.

[Joey]

This is a text from Anonymous as well. Todd, I have a question about why believers are able to do, or unbelievers are able to do, good things. While I know that we have innate consciousness given to us by God that tells us what is right and wrong, whether you're a believer or unbeliever, I struggle to understand why unbelievers can be kind and generous in ways that I would expect only believers to be.

[Jason]

Yeah, because we're image bearers, and we are. Totally. But that doesn't mean that everything we do is depraved. The effect of the fall, it affects the entirety of our being, but it doesn't affect our ability to do anything good. Not nearly what we should. But what we could. Now here's the distinction that might be helpful for you, though. This might be what's kind of like the sticker for you. Any of their good things and a pagan can do nice things. They don't count with God because they're not in Christ. Only believers who do good things do good things that are pleasing to God. The good thing that a pagan does is not pleasing to God. Why? Because it is done with sinful sin, stained blood, stained hands. They are. Often they do a good thing. So let's just imagine walking the little old lady across the street. That's a good deed and it's in this little thimble right here. You put that thimble good deed in the middle of your palm and you offer it up to God. But it's filled, your hands are covered with blood. It's not pleasing. It's not acceptable to God. Only when you've been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ can your good deeds be seen as a pleasant offering to God. And until tomorrow, go serve your king.