Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil – Episode Featuring Ali Makovsky and Rachel Scanlon

Episode Overview In this engaging episode of Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil, host Jameela Jamil welcomes comedians Ali Makovsky and Rachel Scanlon to share their most mortifying and embarrassing stories. As the podcast's tagline suggests, there are no morals or silver linings—just a candid revelry in each other's misfortunes. The conversation delves into personal anecdotes involving awkward medical experiences, social mishaps, and the humorous repercussions of life's unexpected detours.

Opening Banter and Shared Embarrassments (00:01:05 – 05:58)

The episode kicks off with Jameela introducing her guests—Ali Makovsky, a comedian who has appeared on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert and Comedy Central, and Rachel Scanlon, co-host of the nationally touring show Two Dykes and a Mic.

Embarrassing Bathroom Habits

• The trio quickly dives into a humorous discussion about holding in bowel movements, highlighting the awkwardness and adrenaline rush associated with such moments.

  • Rachel Scanlon shares her experience of not pooping for two weeks due to fear while having acrylic nails, humorously describing herself as having "strong sphincters" similar to Dwayne Johnson's.

    Rachel Scanlon (04:35): "I didn't prep this one, but I just got a pap smear yesterday... And I had acrylic nails put on, which I'd never had ever in my life."

• Ali Makovsky reflects on her tendency to hold in poops for the thrill of it, equating it to feeling in control.

  Ali Makovsky (02:11): "I like the adrenaline of like needing to go."

Awkward Medical Visits

• The conversation shifts to awkward encounters during medical procedures, particularly pap smears, where both Ali and Rachel express discomfort and embarrassment.

  • Rachel Scanlon recounts feeling humiliated during her pap smear, primarily because her wife had the same doctor, leading to an awkward comparison.

    Rachel Scanlon (04:35): "I think it's because my wife and I had the same person do it."

  • Jameela Jamil shares her own dreadful experience with pap smears, humorously exaggerating the situation to the point of needing medical staff to restrain her.

    Jameela Jamil (03:53): "...I have to be held down by four medical members of staff and given laughing gas..."

Micro Humiliations and Personal Misfortunes (08:05 – 21:14)

Ali’s Eyebrow Incident

• Ali Makovsky narrates a story about seeking a deal with celebrity eyebrow specialists to enhance her thick eyebrows, only to end up paying a hefty price ($300) for minimal results—a classic case of expectation vs. reality.

  Ali Makovsky (08:12): "When it's time to pay, I believe it cost me roughly $300... And I look so sad in the after photo."

• The outcome leaves Ali not only embarrassed but also financially strained, highlighting the pitfalls of chasing celebrity-endorsed beauty treatments without clear agreements.

Rachel’s Chiropractic Fiasco

• Rachel Scanlon discusses her unfortunate experience with chiropractic care in Los Angeles, where instead of receiving help for her back pain, she ends up feeling uncomfortable and objectified by an overly attractive practitioner.

  Rachel Scanlon (12:09): "...she was like, I'm just gonna pull your shorts a little bit down... And my bush is super red..."

• The story underscores the awkwardness and vulnerabilities one can encounter in professional healthcare settings, especially when personal boundaries are unintentionally crossed.

Listener Misery: The Golden Girls Incident (21:14 – 25:50)

• Jameela shares a listener-submitted story about a college dorm mishap involving unintended exposure while engaging in private activities, leading to long-term embarrassment as friends humorously recall the incident through song lyrics.

  Host (24:35): "Every time I pass any of the three men on campus, they sing the theme song. Thank you for being a friend..."

• This anecdote resonates with the podcast's theme of turning personal disasters into shared humor, emphasizing that such embarrassing moments are universally relatable.

Big Wrong Turns: Ali’s Car Accident and Rachel’s Therapy Gone Awry (23:21 – 44:45)

Ali’s Drunken Drive and Car Accident (23:21 – 31:59)

• Ali Makovsky recounts a harrowing experience of driving under the influence, motivated by a night out with Australian tourists from the Comedy Store. Her attempt to impress leads to a devastating car accident where she spins out, deploying airbags and ultimately totaling her brand-new Honda Fit after just four days of ownership.

  Ali Makovsky (23:21): "...I make this big U turn to get to this parking space and I see that there is a car coming from behind me... I make this U turn, I get T-boned, my car spins out on Fairfax."

• Despite the traumatic event, Ali maintains her humorous perspective by joking about being "dick drunk" and the absurdity of the situation, eventually leading to sobering personal growth, including getting sober and avoiding cars for two years.

  Ali Makovsky (31:54): "It felt the same... It should be called a dud. Like driving under a dick."

Rachel’s Therapy Catastrophe with Grapes (34:05 – 44:45)

• Rachel Scanlon shares her bizarre experience with online therapy during the pandemic, where her session morphs into an awkward mindfulness exercise involving eating grapes. Her attempt to impress her therapist leads to an uncomfortable display of overeating grapes, blurring professional boundaries.

  Rachel Scanlon (37:14): "She tells me to go to my fridge and bring a bowl of grapes... I start chugging grapes to be like, look how many grapes I can eat."

• The story highlights the pitfalls of unstructured online therapy sessions where professional conduct may be compromised, resulting in personal humiliation and a distorted perception of therapeutic relationships.

  Rachel Scanlon (43:42): "Is being mindful like a performance of gratitude? Like, I don't know what it is."

Closing Listener Story and Final Remarks (44:45 – End)

Final Listener Submission: College Dorm Mishap

• The host concludes with another listener story about a college dorm incident where a private moment is unexpectedly witnessed by friends, leading to ongoing teasing and embarrassment.

  Host (44:00): "I'm in college and last fall I was in my dorm room... Three of my friends are staring at me."

• The story serves as a final testament to the podcast's mission—showcasing that everyone experiences embarrassing wrong turns, reinforcing the message that listeners are not alone in their misfortunes.

Guest Promotions and Sign-Off

• As the episode wraps up, Ali and Rachel promote their respective projects, providing listeners with avenues to follow their comedic journeys.

  Ali Makovsky (49:07): "You can go to alanmakofsky.com to see where I'm performing."

  Rachel Scanlon (49:14): "I'm Rachel Scanlon comedy. My podcast is Two Dykes and a Mic and I'll be touring my solo standup in the summer."

• Jameela Jamil encourages listeners to share their own "Wrong Turns" by emailing personal disaster stories, fostering a community of shared experiences and laughter.

  Jameela Jamil (50:08): "You can email us a voice memo of your own Wrong turns. All you have to do is email personaldisasterstories@mail.com."

Conclusion

This episode of Wrong Turns masterfully blends humor with real-life embarrassments, offering listeners a space to laugh at and relate to the missteps that everyone inevitably encounters. Through the candid and often hilarious stories shared by Ali Makovsky and Rachel Scanlon, Jameela Jamil reinforces the podcast's core message: no one is immune to life's awkward detours, and sometimes the best way to cope is to laugh together.

Notable Quotes:

• Rachel Scanlon (04:35): "I couldn't figure out why. I think it's because my wife and I had the same person do it."
• Ali Makovsky (08:12): "When it's time to pay, I believe it cost me roughly $300... And I look so sad in the after photo."
• Jameela Jamil (03:53): "...I have to be held down by four medical members of staff and given laughing gas..."
• Ali Makovsky (31:54): "It felt the same... It should be called a dud. Like driving under a dick."
• Rachel Scanlon (37:14): "She tells me to go to my fridge and bring a bowl of grapes... I start chugging grapes to be like, look how many grapes I can eat."

Connect with Wrong Turns:

• Share your own embarrassing stories for a chance to be featured by emailing personaldisasterstories@mail.com.
• Follow Wrong Turns on YouTube for full video episodes.
• Subscribe, like, and review the podcast on your preferred platform to stay updated with more hilarious misadventures.

Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil continues to provide a relatable and humor-filled refuge for anyone navigating the tumultuous paths of life, proving that sometimes, laughing at our wrong turns is the best way forward.