Transcript

Knox (0:00)

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Jameela Jamil (0:36)

Thank you for listening to Wrong Turns. Follow the show on Amazon Music for more future episodes or just ask Alexa. Play the podcast Wrong Turns on Amazon Music. Hello and welcome to Wrong Turns. This is a show where dignity really does go to die. And it's one that doesn't force every bad story or every humiliating moment to have to be a great moment of wisdom, you know, a great turning point in your life. We accept that sometimes life just fucking sucks. And I get to bring on some of my favorite funny people to tell me their stories of woe. Now today I only have one guest so far because. Because the other guest is fucking late as shit. She's like 15 minutes late. Her name is Annie Lederman and I'm gonna name and shame right now. But you know who did turn up on time? Do you know who did? We have an award winning actor, a writer, a producer known for his roles in Oppenheimer, the Dark Knight, Ant man and the Suicide Squad. Making me feel pretty bad about my career right now. In his new show, Grave Conversations, he interviews guests about death while they both lie in caskets. It's David Dastmalchian.

Annie Lederman (1:54)

Hello, hello, hello.

David Dastmalchian (1:55)

Than, thanks for having me. I'm so glad I could be here on time.

Jameela Jamil (1:58)

Oh my God, I'm so thrilled for you. I'm so happy that you were here. And she was so fucking late. I was like, well, this can be her wrong turn for the day. Start on a really bad note.

David Dastmalchian (2:07)

What an abysmal disaster.

Jameela Jamil (2:08)

How you doing, David? Lovely prompt on time, man.

David Dastmalchian (2:12)

I feel really good, I feel really good about myself after that introduction. Yes, thank you very much, that was really kind. And I feel good about being punctual and I feel very, very grateful that you have this show because my life, although I've had a lot of really wonderful blessings and luck, there's all these disasters and I always like to contextualize those Disasters as, like, learning moments, teachable moments. And truly most of them, if not almost all of them, have been. But there are those occasional whammies that you're just like, oh, by the way, the universe is chaos.

Summary

Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil: “Annie Lederman and David Dastmalchian”

Episode Date: October 2, 2025
Host: Jameela Jamil
Guests: Annie Lederman, David Dastmalchian

Overview

This episode of "Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil" dives deep into the comedic and profoundly humiliating life stories of comedian Annie Lederman and actor David Dastmalchian. The trio embraces and celebrates life's most mortifying, disastrous moments without searching for any higher meaning or feel-good wrap-up. Just pure, cringe-inducing, hilarious disaster. From public panic attacks to literal car-seat disasters, the show proves that when it comes to embarrassment, you're never alone.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Spirit of Wrong Turns (00:36–02:50)

Show’s Purpose: Jameela sets the tone: “A show where dignity really does go to die… sometimes life just fucking sucks.” No lessons forced, just unapologetic schadenfreude.
Guest Introduction: David Dastmalchian arrives early. Annie Lederman is “15 minutes late,” which becomes her own “wrong turn.”

2. Banter, Typecasting & Showbiz Origins (02:50–06:17)

David discusses how his gothic look and energy led to typecasting as “killer, serial killer, the vampire, etc.”
Hollywood Entry: David’s experience of feeling there’s “a way into the impenetrable mansion that is working Hollywood” (03:18).
Annie and David reminisce about their early days: meeting in a Brooklyn pizza shop, competing for fame, and bombing at Annie’s ambush stand-up show.
- Annie’s open mic host origin story: “I think you ran out of the… actually escaped… ambush show is what they call it.” (05:16)
- David’s stand-up bombing: “There’s bombing and then there’s atomic bombing. Right, Atomic bomb.” (05:51)

3. Annie’s Habitual Lateness & Life with Snakes (06:10–07:05)

Ongoing joke about Annie perpetually running late—she blames ADD and living in Venice.
Annie reveals she and her fiancé have seven snakes: “He came out as, like, a reptile guy... I have seven snakes.” (06:47)
Banter about who’s the “creepy” one in the relationship.

4. School Disaster & Early Trauma (09:09–11:15)

David’s Kindergarten Talent Show Fail:
- Attempts “Rainbow Connection” in costume, family tears up, but he panics, forgets words, flees stage:
  - “I leaned to the mic and said, 'I forgot.' And then I ran off stage and just bawled.” (10:51)
- Sets off years of stage fright: “For many, many, many years… I swore I was never going to get up in front of people again.” (11:15)

5. School Personas & Bullying (11:40–12:21)

Jameela: “I used to give off a Real school shooter vibe at school, did you?” (11:43)
Annie claims: “I bullied the bullies. I only bully the bullies.” (12:01)
Discussion of Annie’s twin brother and her protective side.

6. Micro-humiliations and Party Disasters (12:30–14:58)

Annie’s Santa Fe Story:
- Drunk, flashes boobs at a chain gang from scooter, scooter stalls: “I flashed my boobs at them and then my scooter stalled”—pure mortification (13:16)
- Years later, gets email from a guy with a signed t-shirt and her phone number/email—reminder of classic cringe.

7. Jameela’s Counterintuitive Safety Tactics (15:05–16:57)

Jameela chases after catcallers or runs screaming at potential threats:
- “I find running at men really does, like, kill any erection.” (15:23)
- Once scared off a group of guys by yelling “It’s coming!” (16:29)

Notable Quotes & Fun Moments

On Disasters as Learning:
- David: “There are those occasional whammies that you’re just like, oh, by the way, the universe is chaos.” (02:12)
On Open Mic Bombing:
- Annie: “There’s bombing and then there’s atomic bombing. Right, Atomic bomb.” (05:51)
On Middle School Personas:
- Jameela: “I used to give off a real school shooter vibe at school, did you?” (11:43)
- Annie: “I bullied the bullies. I only bully the bullies.” (12:01)
On Scooter/Chain Gang Incident:
- Annie: “I think I’m like Taylor Hansen showing my boobs… and my scooter stalls… I have to put my shirt back down and walk it slowly.” (13:30–13:52)
On “It’s coming!” tactic:
- Jameela: “I just stop and I say it’s coming. And then they all run away because they don’t know what it is.” (16:29)

Major Disastrous Stories

1. David’s “Big Wrong Turn” — Wrestling Match Catastrophe (19:07–25:49)

David, reflecting on teaching his kids about embarrassment, tells the story of his high school teammate (“Matt”) who made weight for wrestling only to have explosive diarrhea during the match.
- “His opponent... picks him up to slam him... squeezes really tight... just shits himself.” (22:24)
- Disqualifies, mat gets disinfected, Matt laughs it off.
Story escalates: As David tells the story to his kids in the car, he starts laughing so hard… he himself poops his pants while driving.
- “I feel it coming and I can’t stop it… both hands on the wheel and I’ve got my ass like six inches above the seat.” (24:41)
- His kids are “in tears laughing,” windows can’t be rolled down, and he panics about the leather seats: “How much do you tip for that detail?” (25:20)
- “Anyone who tells the story immediately shits, but it’s shit 100%. You shit it forward. That’s what happens.” (25:59–26:02)

2. Annie’s “Period on the Couch” — The Hollywood Professional Disaster (31:40–36:10)

Early in LA, Annie meets with a writer for a potential show. The relationship is already tense.
Sits on the writer’s white couch, stands up, and sees: “I have perioded all over this woman’s couch. And it’s a nice, you know, it’s a nice couch.” (33:19)
No way to hide it; the woman says “it’s fine, I was gonna reupholster”—but it’s clear they’re never working together again.
Years later, Annie texts an apology; the woman never replies.
- “Every time I stand up from a couch, a white couch, I think of you.” (35:17)
- “This bitch left it on red...” (35:18)
Jameela and Annie discuss trauma prepping for periods: “I wear six pairs of underpants during the week before my period...” (36:10)

Listener Story: “Misery Loves Company” (37:53–40:27)

Matthew’s Meet-Puke Disaster:
- Pre-gaming before an outdoor concert, gets wasted, vomits in beer cup, forgets, tries to sip from the cup later, gags, date notices and throws up on the people in front.
- “Attempting to drink my own sick... she throws up on the two people sitting in front of her. Spoiler alert: We did not hook up that night.” (38:58)

Jameela on British Festival Culture

“In England, we like to piss into cups. The men. And then they just like to throw it to the front of the audience... beer or piss? Beer or piss?” (40:05)

Where to Find the Guests

Annie Lederman:
- Podcast: Annie Wood (YouTube, every Thursday)
- Stand-Up Dates: annieledeman.com/shows
- Instagram: @annielederman
David Dastmalchian:
- Instagram: @dastmalchian (usmalch)
- Comics: “Knights vs Samurai,” “Creature Commandos”
- Upcoming Apple+ series: “Murderbot,” film: “Rosario”

Memorable Moments & Tone

David’s “loose stool” wrestling match story paired with his real-life “shit it forward” incident is pure slapstick schadenfreude.
Annie’s humility and genuine remorse over staining a white couch adds relatability, while Jameela’s overt Britishness and dry wit keep the tone irrepressibly playful.
Banter is quick, irreverent, and vulgar, but leavened by warmth and mutual support. The show lives up to its manifesto: no lessons, only laughter in the face of disaster.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

“There are those occasional whammies that you’re just like, oh, by the way, the universe is chaos.” — David Dastmalchian (02:12)
“There’s bombing and then there’s atomic bombing. Right, Atomic bomb.” — Annie Lederman (05:51)
“I leaned to the mic and said, ‘I forgot.’ And then I ran off stage and just bawled.” — David Dastmalchian (10:51)
“I bullied the bullies. I only bully the bullies.” — Annie Lederman (12:01)
“I flashed my boobs at them and then my scooter stalled...” — Annie Lederman (13:16)
“His opponent... picks him up... squeezes really tight... just shits himself.” — David Dastmalchian (22:24)
“I have perioded all over this woman’s couch.” — Annie Lederman (33:19)
“Every time I stand up from a white couch, I think of you.” — Annie Lederman (35:17)
“In England, we like to piss into cups… beer or piss? Beer or piss? It’s the most stressful environment. Never come to a British festival.” — Jameela Jamil (40:05)

Timestamps for Key Segments

[00:36] – Show intro, premise, guest banter, Annie’s lateness
[03:43] – Annie enters, origin stories with David
[09:09] – David’s traumatic kindergarten disaster
[12:30] – Annie’s chain gang/flashing story
[19:07] – David’s wrestling match/diarrhea humiliation story
[31:40] – Annie’s “period on the couch” disaster
[37:53] – Listener submission: Matthew’s meet-puke
[40:05] – British festival anecdotes

Conclusion

If you crave honest, bodily, and social mishaps told with reckless comic abandon, this episode’s for you. Annie and David exemplify the “Wrong Turns” ethos: not dignity, not redemption, just hilarious, shame-drenched solidarity.