Bonus - Russell Howard, Judi Love and Grace Campbell

Summary

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Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Bonus Episode: Russell Howard, Judi Love and Grace Campbell
Recorded at the London Podcast Festival
Released: September 30, 2025

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Overview

In this special bonus episode of Wrong Turns, host Jameela Jamil invites three prolific comedians—Russell Howard, Judi Love, and Grace Campbell—on stage for an unfiltered, riotous session at the London Podcast Festival. The group dives into some of the filthiest and most mortifying disaster stories, featuring both crowd contributions and their own hilarious mishaps. This episode is an explicit, spirited celebration of embarrassment, with absolutely no morals or tidy conclusions—just shared laughter in the mess of life.

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Key Discussion Points and Stories

1. Setting the Scene: Festival Vibes and Chemistry

• Jameela describes the electric chemistry on stage and in the crowd, noting this as one of her "favorite live shows" ever ([00:40]).
• The concept: Bring comedians and audience together to revel in mortifying stories, free from judgment or life lessons.

2. Heather’s Legendary “Tongue Punch My Fart Box” Story

Heather’s Story (Shared by Jameela):

• Heather, recently out of a "mostly celibate" relationship, goes on a hunt for mindless sex and meets "the perfect guy: hot as fuck and dumb as a rock" ([02:30]).
• Things escalate quickly when, in the middle of drunk, messy foreplay, the man asks her, "Will you tongue punch my fart box?" ([04:58])
  • Judy Love (with confusion): "What does that mean?" ([05:19])
  • Grace Campbell (matter-of-factly): "It's the rim job, isn't it? A tongue in the asshole." ([05:28])
  • Russell Howard (cracking up): “Is that like a new Sonos?” ([05:10])
• The group takes comedic detours:
  • Russell and Judi imagine being TV detectives with Heather's sex life as the case, riffing on euphemisms for analingus ([02:37], [03:06]).
  • Russell teases: "So the pussy wasn't getting smashed" ([03:06]) and "She wasn't getting dicked down" ([02:49]).

Heather’s Response & Climax:

• Heather declines the bizarre request but goes ahead with regular sex, before growing violently nauseous and "puk[ing] all over his junk and his beloved fart box" ([10:07]).
  • The comedians riff on logistics—reverse cowgirl?—and whether Heather's storytelling is even reliable.
  • Jameela (deadpan): "I think she basically tongue punched him in the fart box and that's why she's grown up." ([10:42])
  • Russell Howard: "What a life this woman has led. She's...mostly celibate, then it goes straight to that" ([09:55]).
• Jameela (summing up): “Bless Heather. That remains the closest that she's ever come to a one night stand.” ([11:13])

3. The Art—and Faux Pas—of Dirty Talk

• Jameela shares her own unexpected moment:
  “He stuck it in the wrong hole and my immediate reaction was ‘unexpected item in bagging area’… That's just what came out of my mouth in that moment.” ([11:19])
• Russell and Judi riff on the absurdity of UK supermarket checkout lines colliding with sex acts ([12:04]).
  • Russell Howard: “That’s ridiculous. Unless you were doing some sort of Waitrose role play. That makes no sense.” ([12:04])
  • Judy Love (laughing): “This entire podcast sounds like dick talking.” ([12:36])

4. Debrief: Sex, language, and comedy chemistry

• Extended banter about new slang (“tongue punch”), generational misunderstandings, and the etiquette (if any) of sexual requests on first encounters ([06:16])
  • Jameela: “Closed mouths don’t get fed.” ([08:32])
  • Judi Love: “Work it way up to me… Not the first night.” ([07:40])
• Imaginary TV show pitches: Russell and Judi as detectives who never solve crimes but riff endlessly in the car ([13:03]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "This is Tongue Punch, My Fart Box."
  – Jameela Jamil, introducing the episode's focus ([02:05])

• "Hot as fuck and dumb as a rock."
  – Jameela Jamil, reading Heather’s self-description of her one-night stand date ([03:30])

• "I think she basically tongue punched him in the fart box and that's why she's grown up."
  – Jameela Jamil ([10:42])

• "Unexpected item in bagging area."
  – Jameela Jamil, announcing in bed after a sexual mishap ([11:19])

• "This entire podcast sounds like dick talking."
  – Judy Love ([12:36])

• "Closed mouths don’t get fed."
  – Jameela Jamil, on bold sexual requests ([08:32])

• "What a life this woman has led… mostly celibate, then it goes straight to that."
  – Russell Howard ([09:55])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:40]: Introduction, live show context and lineup reveal.
• [02:05]: Start of Heather's notorious "Tongue Punch My Fart Box" story.
• [04:58]: The infamous request is revealed—and the panel’s shock.
• [10:07]: Heather’s disastrous ending: the sex, the nausea, and the vomit.
• [11:19]: Jameela’s own embarrassing sex story: "unexpected item in bagging area."
• [12:36]: Judy’s take: “This entire podcast sounds like dick talking.”
• [13:03]: Detective comedy pitch and closing banter.

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Episode Tone and Vibe

Unfiltered, brutally honest, irreverent, and full of quick-witted banter. The episode uses explicit humor not just for shock value, but to unearth the hilarity in sexual miscommunication and mishap. The group’s chemistry is palpable—no topic is sacred, and laughter is constant.

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Listen If…

You enjoy candid, taboo-busting humor, ad-libbed comic storytelling, and a warm, communal sense of shared embarrassment. Expect no morals, just the giddy thrill of commiserating in life’s funniest disasters.

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Transcript

[Knox]

Hi, this is Knox from the podcast with Knox and Jamie and maybe like us at the podcast you also know people who have been smokers or vapers and Zyn is the one product it seems like everyone is talking about because there are many good reasons to make a change to Zyn nicotine pouches reasons like Zyn Nicotine Pouches are still America's number one choice for smoke free hands free nicotine satisfaction and you can choose between 10 varieties, each variety available in either 3 or 6 milligrams. Check out zen.com find to find Zyn at a store near you. Warning this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank you for listening to Wrong Turns.

Follow the show on Amazon Music for.

More future episodes or just ask Alexa. Play the podcast Wrong Turns on Amazon Music. Hello and welcome to a special bonus episode of Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamel. This is a special Misery Loves Company extra bit from my London Podcast festival appearance, which I did recently, which I think is one of my favorite live shows I've ever done. I was joined on stage by three of my favorite comedians ever, Russell Howard, Judy Love and Grace Campbell, all of whom were so funny together. And none of us had ever really shared the stage. And yet there was just this like magic chemistry. But it wasn't just us, it was also the audience. It was hundreds and hundreds of people, all of whom I don't know. We were just working at exactly the same wavelength of ridiculous and we had so many great audience member stories. One in particular I wanted to make sure made it out to the public and that was from Heather, who is a legend and her story really just lit up the stage. Everyone loved it so much. So I had to make sure those of you who weren't there heard it. Just to be clear, never listen to wrong turns with young children around. But maybe especially don't do it with this one because it's incredibly filthy right from the start. This is Tongue Punch, My fart box.

Enjoy. All right, we have got one more story. This is from Heather, who's not here today. Now, she said this is really quite foul. So I had just gotten out of a mostly celibate relationship and was looking for mindless sex. We've all been there, you should say a celibate. Celibate relationship. Mostly celibate relationship.

[Judy Love]

They weren't. She weren't getting peace.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, no. So she was looking for some mindless sex. She met the perfect guy for a while.

[Russell Howard]

Honestly, if there was a detective show and we were a double act I'd fucking love it. But you know what I mean, because she wasn't celibate. She wasn't getting peace.

[Jameela Jamil]

She wasn't getting dicked out. Continue.

[Russell Howard]

I know what it means. Continue. She's not getting dicked down. I know. Judy, somebody's dead.

[Jameela Jamil]

Stop translating for this strange season of broadcast.

[Russell Howard]

But what she said of it before she was dead.

[Jameela Jamil]

All right, so Heather.

[Russell Howard]

So the pussy wasn't getting smashed. I don't know whether the woman's dead.

[Judy Love]

Then she got digged down. Yeah, that's what she did.

[Jameela Jamil]

So Heather had just got.

[Judy Love]

It would be a massive, massive show.

[Russell Howard]

It would massive.

[Jameela Jamil]

Curtis would love that. Okay, so Heather said I'd just gone out of a mostly celibate relationship and was looking for mindless sex. I met the perfect guy for a one night stand off an app. Hot as fuck and dumb as a rock. We got really drunk. I invited him over. Clothes came off and we were both talking dirty to each other. So far so good. You all right?

[Russell Howard]

Just the way she phrased it. So funny. Like the clothes come off straight away. They're like, fucking bitch. Like that. It's just. It sounded so juvenile.

[Judy Love]

Sterile first.

[Russell Howard]

Yeah. I'm gonna put my willy in you.

[Judy Love]

Is that your dirty talk?

[Russell Howard]

It's from that. It sounded so like.

[Judy Love]

It almost sounds like he was about to start dirty. Like she was about to start dirty talking anyway. Hold on, let me just do my button first. I did the button and did it also.

[Jameela Jamil]

The way that you just said that makes me feel like you were the man in the bush.

[Russell Howard]

I was not the man in the bush.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're not being the allegation.

[Russell Howard]

Sally is not a black.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, so so far so good. Then without changing his dirty talk voice, he asks if I would. I'm actually going to stand up for this.

[Judy Love]

Wow.

[Russell Howard]

Oh, not again. Don't.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm on my period. That's literally my biggest thing.

[Russell Howard]

It's fine. It's fine.

[Jameela Jamil]

Then without changing his dirty talk voice, he asks if I would tongue punch his fart box.

[Judy Love]

Wow.

[Russell Howard]

Is that like a new Sonos?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Is that a Pitmal song?

[Russell Howard]

What did you say? Tongue punch.

[Jameela Jamil]

Tongue punch his fart box.

[Judy Love]

If I'm honest, I feel like I need to ask Grace. What does that mean?

[Jameela Jamil]

It's the rim job, isn't it? I think so. I think it's more aggressive than it is a tongue in the assholes.

[Judy Love]

And that's because of your age, not for anybody else.

[Russell Howard]

Jesus, Grace, that was like a fucking Millwall fan. Then you, like gawked into that imaginary arse.

[Jameela Jamil]

Can you tongue punch that fart box to the audiences?

[Russell Howard]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay. So he asked.

[Russell Howard]

That might be why Lindsay Lohan looks so good. Because that would imagine that if you were tongue punched in the fart box.

[Jameela Jamil]

You up? Yeah, lovely.

[Russell Howard]

Everything's pointed.

[Judy Love]

Tongue punch his fart hole.

[Russell Howard]

Fart box, please. Absolute respect.

[Jameela Jamil]

So, Judy, you're out here dating in these streets. You've got to learn what the kids are saying.

[Judy Love]

I've got to learn what the youngers are.

[Russell Howard]

What did she say? What is the robotic.

[Jameela Jamil]

So just let that sink in. I don't think he was trying to.

[Judy Love]

Make it sink in. Love.

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't think he was intentionally using a weird expression. That's just what he calls it. I said no, but I was hell bent to get laid. So we started to have regular sex with me on top. Maybe it was what he said or all the drinking, but in the middle I felt quite nauseous. I hopped off and before I could even make him.

[Russell Howard]

It's just a memory coming back. This is really. Oh, God. That thing he said was so crazy.

[Jameela Jamil]

And before I could even make a run.

[Judy Love]

What I'm trying to understand is she.

[Jameela Jamil]

Is she is like she didn't do it.

[Judy Love]

No. But is she distressed by what he called it more than she distressed that he asked her to do it?

[Jameela Jamil]

I think so.

[Judy Love]

That he called it that way. So if he said, lick my ass.

[Jameela Jamil]

If he'd been like, can you like.

[Russell Howard]

But even as an opener, that's a.

[Jameela Jamil]

I mean if you'd been like, tongue tickle my leathery bagel. You said that before.

[Judy Love]

Yeah, that was. That rolled up her tongue like an ass.

[Jameela Jamil]

My birthday. No, but I don't know. I imagine it's a combo.

[Judy Love]

Like it's a turn off the way you said it.

[Russell Howard]

If that's. They've only just taken their clothes off and then he says, could you please lick my shitter? Yeah, that's. You're straight to. That's 100.

[Judy Love]

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Work it way up to me.

[Russell Howard]

Exactly.

[Judy Love]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like over months.

[Russell Howard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Not the first night.

[Russell Howard]

But it's also. It gives the impression he's just going to turn his back like the Blair Witch. And then she's kind of got.

[Jameela Jamil]

I just love the moment where. Can you just ask me to tongue punch your fart box?

[Russell Howard]

You want me to ask you?

[Jameela Jamil]

Ask me. And I'm just going to play out.

[Judy Love]

It's.

[Jameela Jamil]

This will be the clip.

[Russell Howard]

So am I the am? I am. I'm the man. Okay. You're having a smashing night. Listen, would you please? Pretty please.

[Judy Love]

Tongue.

[Russell Howard]

What is it?

[Judy Love]

Tongue punch.

[Russell Howard]

Tongue punch. My fart box.

[Jameela Jamil]

And the fact that she just goes, no, no, it's my favorite thing.

[Russell Howard]

I know. And the fact that he's just like, oh, well, you know.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. If you don't ask, you don't get closed mouths, don't get fed.

[Russell Howard]

You're being in the winner.

[Judy Love]

It was casual. Have you got a chewing gum? No. Okay. Would you?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. I mean, then he does. He takes it like a champ. They move on. They have sex. But then she feels nauseous. So then she hops off.

[Judy Love]

But it's also.

[Russell Howard]

Imagine if she was just kissing it, whatever. And he's like, punch it. Like, that would be the weird thing of, like, you call it a punch. That's the stuff.

[Judy Love]

Yeah. Or when she's kissing, he's like, your tongue is strong enough for a punch. You know, girl.

[Jameela Jamil]

I think this is starting to be something you're both starting to really enjoy. Yeah. So she feels noisy.

[Judy Love]

But none of us answered.

[Russell Howard]

I know.

[Judy Love]

None of us. Can I just say you said that.

[Russell Howard]

And me and Russell went, yeah, because we're both in.

[Judy Love]

We looked down. We looked down. We was like.

[Russell Howard]

We'Re in our own version of, like the upside down in Stranger Things. And it turns out it's just a bloke stood like that and a lady just. And me and Judy just kind of go, is he kissing or punching? What do you think?

[Jameela Jamil]

I mean, Jesus becomes fart box curious.

[Russell Howard]

But also, I mean, what a life this woman has lead. She's. She's been in a relationship. It is mostly celibate. And then it goes straight to that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Extraordinary. That will send you back. Yeah.

[Russell Howard]

So we haven't even got to the end of the story.

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

So. So. So she feels nauseous. She hops off, and before she can even make a run for the bathroom, she pukes all over his junk and his beloved fart box.

[Russell Howard]

Did he spin around?

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, she's.

[Judy Love]

Someone's lying in that story there.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hang on. Wait. Where is she?

[Judy Love]

So she was on top.

[Jameela Jamil]

All right, she's on top. It's got to be reverse cowgirl if she's gone. Oh, yeah, right.

[Judy Love]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't know. I think she basically tongue punched him in the far box, and that's why she's grown up.

[Judy Love]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's why Heather's not here. Is it? Because we would have been like, put the lights on. Let's see this.

[Jameela Jamil]

Show us your tongue, Heather.

[Judy Love]

Yeah, let's See how strong.

[Jameela Jamil]

Judy wants to see how it works.

[Judy Love]

Yeah. That tongue's been going gym in it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

Covered in abs.

[Russell Howard]

Covered in abs.

[Jameela Jamil]

Bless Heather. That remains the closest that she's ever come to a one night stand.

[Russell Howard]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sad for Heather. Give it up for Heather. I've never been one for dirty talk, but I was having sex with someone unbelievably, and he stuck it in the wrong hole. And my immediate reaction was unexpected item in bagging area. That's just what came out of my mouth in that moment. That was the coolest I could play. It was the first time we'd ever had sex.

[Russell Howard]

Did he laugh or did you say it?

[Jameela Jamil]

He didn't laugh. No, he didn't. I said it out loud. I went, that's ridiculous. We're sort of in doggy style. And I was like, unexpected item and backing area. It's how I let him know.

[Russell Howard]

That's ridiculous. Unless you were doing some sort of waitrose role play. That makes no sense.

[Jameela Jamil]

I feel like that's a really good note to end that on, don't you?

[Judy Love]

That was.

[Russell Howard]

It's funny.

[Judy Love]

Funny. Yeah.

[Russell Howard]

Unexpected item in the background. That's really funny. Unless he was so deep in, he couldn't laugh. That's how we end it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Russell Howard]

Sorry. I'm sorry. What did you say?

[Judy Love]

This entire podcast sounds like dick talking. That didn't sound like it was him. It sounded like he was a dick. That's what that sounded like.

[Russell Howard]

Save it for the card. Dc I love save it for the.

[Judy Love]

Card.

[Russell Howard]

Because you can't drive.

[Judy Love]

What did the dick straight ruffle did?

[Russell Howard]

Left here. And then me and Judy are going to do a sort of detective crime thing.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Turn Erotic gun punching.

[Russell Howard]

Yeah, Exactly.

[Judy Love]

Yeah.

[Russell Howard]

It's all in the car. It's just the chat in the car. We never really solve any of the sort of crimes. It's just us.

[Judy Love]

Write that shit down.

[Russell Howard]

Yeah, I will.

[Judy Love]

Yeah.

[Russell Howard]

Yeah. Well, that's what. That's one of our catchphrases. Because I'm the one that does the notes.

[Judy Love]

She's like, I ain't doing.

[Russell Howard]

Write that shit down.

[Judy Love]

I ain't doing shit.

[Russell Howard]

That's another one.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm gonna make us leave.

[Russell Howard]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're all three of my favorite.

[Judy Love]

Love you.

[Jameela Jamil]

You are three of my favorite comedians. Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil, and Stuart Bailey.

And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo.

Of your own Wrong Turns.

All you have to do isemail personal disasterstoriesmail.com.

That'S enough of me. I'm gonna fuck off now. Bye.

[Knox]

Hi, this is Knox from the podcast with Knox and Jamie. And maybe like us at the podcast you also know people who have been smokers or vaper and Zyn is the one product it seems like everyone is talking about because there are many good reasons to make a change to Zyn Nicotine Pouches. Reasons like Zyn Nicotine Pouches are still America's number one choice for smoke free hands free nicotine satisfaction and you can choose between 10 varieties, each variety available in either 3 or 6 milligrams. Check out zyn.com find to find Zyn at a store near you. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

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