Dylan Adler and Sabrina Wu

Summary

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Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Episode: Dylan Adler and Sabrina Wu
Date: July 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This wild and hilarious installment of Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil features comedians, actors, and real-life friends Dylan Adler and Sabrina Wu. Together with Jameela, they plunge into tales of personal disaster, public and private humiliation, and the kind of embarrassing moments that unite us all in shame. True to the show’s tagline – “where dignity goes to die” – the trio swap mortifying anecdotes, poke fun at each other, and revel in the darkest corners of their collective awkwardness, stripping away any pretense of heroism or morals in favor of gleeful commiseration.

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Meet the Guests (01:43-02:27)

• Sabrina Wu: Comedian, actor, and writer (Abbott Elementary, Dying for Sex, Joyride)
• Dylan Adler: Comedian, actor, musician (Netflix Is a Joke Fest, Edinburgh Fringe Festival, co-hosts Roomies in LA)
• Banter about their friendship origins, Fire Island, and who’s got “top” energy
  • “Did you know Dylan’s a top?” – Sabrina (02:28)
  • “It’s shocking the world. This is what a top looks like. Thank you.” – Dylan (03:32)

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Anecdotes

Micro-Humiliations: Bodily Betrayals & Sleep Secrets (04:22–15:04)

• Sabrina tries running at Echo Park Lake, only to vomit and ‘shit herself’ afterward.
  • “When I got home, I immediately puked and shat myself.” – Sabrina (06:39)
• Jameela relates with her own hiking-vomit story, highlighting the universal nature of losing control of your body (09:08).
• Dylan shares a post-hookup sleep incident:
  • Woke up biting his partner’s back, and sleepwalked making “anime demon” noises (10:20–11:17)
    • “I didn’t even know I sleptwalk. So I was mortified... I bit him awake.” – Dylan (10:31)
  • Both guests and Jameela swap stories about sleepwalking, sleep apnea, and strange nocturnal habits.
  • “I’m a huge sleepwalker... I’ve been barricading my hotel room.” – Jameela (12:15–12:23)
  • “The only part of me that is reserved is my anus. ...That’s where my mystery lies.” – Jameela (08:41)

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Main Wrong Turns: The Cat-In-Heat Saga & The Ketamine Catastrophe (15:30-32:44)

Sabrina’s Cat Crisis (15:44–25:06)

• The situation: Sabrina’s roommate’s Siamese cat goes into heat, constantly screaming for relief.
• Alone in the apartment, Sabrina googles “can you relieve a cat in heat”; finds YouTube instructions from Chinese practitioners for pressing a specific pressure point near the tail.
  • “She would genuinely just be screaming, crying, begging me to her. ...She was genuinely backing it up for me.” – Sabrina (17:32–18:00)
  • “I got really good at treating the cat. At relieving.” – Sabrina (21:46)
• The story went viral—and was misinterpreted—leading to online shaming and accusations of “cat abuse.”
  • “They clipped the video... Grace Writer getting canceled for platforming this random cat rapist.” – Sabrina (22:42)
  • “No, also you went beetroot red while telling that story. There was no twinkle in your eye.” – Jameela (23:27)
• Jameela and Dylan commiserate, sharing their own stories of being harassed by pets.
  • “My dog has been molesting my arm for two years now...” – Jameela (24:22)

Dylan’s Fire Island Party Flop (25:10–32:44)

• His first real attempt at hosting a party; already anxious, he takes ketamine to steady his nerves.
• Overdoes it, enters a “dying and being reborn” loop, then breaks down sobbing during his own party.
  • “I feel as if I’m dying and being reborn. Every second and every breath, I’m dying. Every breath out, I’m reborn.” – Dylan (26:55)
  • “And then I see my best friend there, Ivy, and I start to sob. And they’re like, ‘Wait, this is the guy who invited us...’” – Dylan (27:41)
• To redeem himself, he performs a backflip in front of the guests.
  • “If I do a backflip right now, will you forget I just cried in front of you?” – Dylan (28:24)
  • He lands it: “Party on, faggots.” – Dylan (29:00)
• Sabrina reassures Dylan, sharing that by the next summer he was “hot and sought after,” and they reflect on “attendee vs. host” identities.

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Memorable Quotes

• “The only part of me that is reserved is my anus…that’s where my mystery lies.”
  — Jameela (08:41)
• “You know, the real allies are normcore, submissive men. ...That’s me.”
  — Sabrina (05:35)
• “She would genuinely just be screaming, crying, begging me to her. ...She was genuinely backing it up for me.”
  — Sabrina (17:32–18:00)
• “I feel as if I’m dying and being reborn. Every second and every breath, I’m dying. Every breath out, I’m reborn.”
  — Dylan (26:55)
• “If I do a backflip right now, will you forget I just cried in front of you?”
  — Dylan (28:24)

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Listener Story: Sprite Challenge Disaster (34:09–36:34)

• Mindy’s tale: She and her roommate shoot a "sprite challenge" chug video, end up vomiting everywhere, blinding each other with projectile bile, and ultimately ending their friendship. The video was never posted.
  • “I threw it all up, covering both of us...she started to choke...I threw up again, spraying my stomach bile directly in her eyes.” – Mindy (34:37)
• The comedians react with awe and encouragement:
  • “She has to post the video. She’s a dumbass for not. That’s going viral.” – Dylan (35:15)
  • “That’s like, literally, like a superpower. Like, if someone tried to, like, rob you or assault you...” – Sabrina (35:44)
• Jameela shares a story about vomiting in a 4D cinema after a timed “vomit squirt” scene (36:00).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introductions & Friendship Origins: 01:43–03:06
• Micro-Humiliations: 04:22–15:04
• Main Wrong Turn (Sabrina’s Cat): 15:44–25:06
• Main Wrong Turn (Dylan’s Party): 25:10–32:44
• Listener Story Reaction: 34:09–36:34
• Closing Banter & Plugs: 37:19–38:08

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Tone & Vibe

Irreverent, brutally honest, and affectionately teasing—no one is safe from self-mockery or friendly ribbing. The group fosters a sense of “circle of trust,” cheerfully unpacking cringe moments for collective catharsis. The episode is laced with self-effacing humor, progressive perspectives, and both in-jokes and universal humiliations.

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Where to Find the Guests

• Dylan Adler: Instagram, YouTube (Dylan Adler Comedy), on tour
• Sabrina Wu: Instagram/TikTok (@asabrinawu), appearing in Joyride (Netflix) and Murderbot (Apple TV)

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Final Thoughts

For anyone who has ever been undone by their own body, attempted heroism and failed, or simply suffered indignities behind closed doors, this episode is an uproarious, unfiltered reminder—you are not alone in your disasters. And sometimes, the only real takeaway is that nobody comes out unscathed, but everyone leaves laughing.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[D]

Hello and welcome to Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil. This is a show where dignity goes to die, where we bring on some of the funniest people on the planet and they tell us their biggest tales of regret and mortification and humiliation so that we can all collectively bond over the fact that we're all a bunch of fucking twats. Joining me today, we have a writer, comedian and actor who's perform stand up on the Tonight show and who you've seen in Abbott Elementary, Dying for Sex, Murderbot and Joyride. It's Sabrina Fucking Woo.

[A]

Yay.

[D]

All right, calm down, Sabrina. And we welcome an actor, comedian, writer and musician who has performed at Netflix's Joke Festival and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. He co hosts the weekly comedy showcase Roomies here in Los Angeles, it's Dylan Adler. Yay.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Thank you. Did you try to be as I

[B]

was trying to be as masked as Sabrina was like, y

[D]

you two have been friends for a while? How long?

[B]

We've been friends for like five years, but we've known each other.

[A]

I made a face.

[B]

You made a face.

[D]

You're like, why did you think you were friends for longer or less time?

[A]

I thought I was like such a fan of Dylan. Like, I think Dylan's so, so fun. I felt Like I was your fan for like four years, but then we did room together at Fire Island.

[B]

Yeah, we really got close last year. We went to Fire Island.

[D]

Amazing together.

[B]

And then it was. Yeah, fireworks and Dilly's really.

[D]

Sabrina's now almost blushing and becoming a fan again in this moment. You're reliving your. I've never even seen you like this.

[A]

Oh, like a little school girl.

[B]

Oh my God.

[D]

You're like a squirrel. How's it happening?

[A]

Yeah, I think Dylan's so great.

[B]

Stop it. I paid them to say this, so.

[D]

Okay, well, it's not Dylan's podcast you're on, Sabrina.

[A]

So did you know Dylan's a top?

[B]

You know, it's shock. You know, that's crazy. It's shocking the world. This is what a top looks like. Thank you.

[D]

I 100 see that for you.

[B]

Thank you so much. Everyone does. Even my mom was like, what?

[D]

How did that come up, darling?

[B]

Oh, well, I don't know. She's just. My mom is kind of like a Asian Samantha. So she's like what? First I thought at least she. Yeah, she's silly. She's silly.

[D]

That's very fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So have you two been through any kind of disasters together? Are you guys going to be able to contradict each other if someone tells a little lie?

[B]

I'm not sure our disasters overlap.

[D]

Oh, fantastic. Even more fun then you can surprise

[B]

each other so we could lie up the wazoo.

[D]

Why don't we start with some micro humiliations in that case so you can kind of start wetting.

[A]

The appetite for a micro one is not that bad, I don't think.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, and I'm, I'm, I don't want to follow you, but thank you for

[D]

that amazing send up. And

[A]

yeah, whoever's listening, don't, don't get excited. I'm open.

[D]

Everyone just take a little pee break right now. And yeah.

[B]

Did you know Sabrina's a top?

[D]

Oh you.

[A]

No, no. Actually I was watching this TikTok recently. Am I, am I derailing us?

[D]

No, you're never derailing.

[A]

I was watching one of those tiktoks where it was, it was getting into a little bit like, okay, everyone has too many opinions. But it was just like, it was just like it was a TikTok where someone obviously had a septum piercing and that's valid but like that of perception piercing and was just very like I'm done with performative men. Like men who are like blah blah, blah blah. Like, like, yeah, he has like nail polish but like he's actually toxic. And I actually personally agree. But, you know, like, it's just like a lot to make a video about it. But then she just goes. She goes, you know, the real allies are norm core, submissive men. And. But we're not ready for that convo. And I was like, that's me.

[B]

Oh, that's.

[A]

I'm kind of normcore, normcore. I'm like, normcore submissive. Yeah, Lovely.

[D]

Good to know.

[A]

Shout out to my girlfriend. Okay, sorry, I'm just going to share my story. My micro meal.

[D]

Less energy this time. Cool, cool, cool. Sabrina, why don't we start with you?

[A]

Yeah. Well, I guess something about me that people might not know is that I very recently tried running again. And I told myself just trying to, like, be a healthier person and don't look at me like that. And I ran an echo park lake, like, with a lot of. It's where old people run. It's like. Yeah, I didn't even make it the full loop. So I ran like, less than a. And I just kept telling myself, like, if you need to walk, that's okay. Like, we're just trying to start a habit. And so I ran, like less than a mile. Really slow.

[D]

The gentle parenting of your.

[B]

That's good.

[D]

So lovely.

[B]

That's very healthy.

[A]

And then when I got home, I immediately puked and shat myself.

[D]

You know why? Because your body thinks you're dying. Because it's such a shock. So the body. Apparently when soldiers would walk into the battlefield, everything would just like, empty you out.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Yeah, that's it. Just all the systems shut down, empty you out, and then I guess so that you're snatched in your coffin or something. I don't know.

[B]

Those soldiers looked amazing.

[D]

Yeah, they were snatched, but. But yeah. Oh, my God. You vomited in chat.

[A]

Yeah. At the same time.

[B]

At the same time.

[D]

Which is such an. Because there's never two places for that to go.

[B]

Yeah, they need to make a toilet of a day like that with like a vomiting.

[D]

Like a urinal but for vomit.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, at like, head height so that you can.

[A]

Can you believe they made something for Meghan Trainor and her boyfriend, but nothing to solve this issue 100%.

[D]

That story ruined my life about the two of them having toilets next to each other. So hands while they're pooing. I just. I've never even farted in front of my boyfriend of 11 years.

[A]

Wait, really? Can I be honest? You seem like someone to me that,

[D]

like, would fart like a song, like a Beatles song or something like, hey, dude, I would fart. Hey, dude. Do I seem like that kind of person?

[B]

That's the first thing I thought when I met you. It's like, as original key.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

100%.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even that part. Yeah.

[D]

What were you going to say? Sorry.

[A]

No, I. I'm learning so much about you. I didn't think you would be a fan of the Beatles, so that wasn't like, the first thing I would think of for you.

[D]

I'm British. It's sort of like part of the passport.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I just really thought you and James would get that immediate or that you would, like, want that immediately.

[D]

Why?

[A]

Because you're fucking weird.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm like, like, oh, yes. Spilling all the tea and secrets and

[A]

I think you want. And you're like. You're like, wait, the Internet's being weird about something. Let me throw myself head first.

[D]

I know.

[A]

Let me throw myself in the line of fire.

[C]

100.

[D]

Yeah. Where's. I. I'm just like. I'm throwing myself at the fire, but, like, dowsing myself in gasoline, like, as I'm running. Yeah, 100%. But weirdly, just the only part of me that is reserved is my anus, you know, because you have to have something I heard. So, yeah, that's where my mystery lies. It's just.

[B]

That's the final frontier.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Dylan gets it.

[B]

I'm a top. That's the final. That's the final level, you know?

[D]

Oh, man. Look, it's happened to us all before. I vomited all down myself on my first ever hike up Runyon Canyon in Los Angeles.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

So, yeah, when I was hiking with a supermodel who I was living with, took me up and was already walking ahead. And then when she looked back, there was just, like, yellow down my, like, crusty Beatles T shirt.

[B]

Tyra never forgot that.

[D]

No, no, exactly.

[B]

She's like, on this week's challenge. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

So foul.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Oh, man. Okay, so, Dylan, what is your.

[B]

Okay. My mini. It was after a hookup where I topped and afterwards, I. So the guy was like, hey, can I sleep over? And I was, like, a little hesitant. Not because I'm like, this is attached, but it's because I snore. And I'm, like, self conscious about it. I'm like, no, I think I snore. So I don't know. I don't think. He's like, no, I don't care. It's like, I'm a very deep sleeper. I'm like, okay, if you're fine with that, then let's crash at my place. So I wake up, it's like 4am I wake up biting him. And he's like. And I'm like, oh. And I've bit him in my sleep.

[D]

Where did you bite him? On his body?

[B]

On the back.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

On the back.

[D]

I don't know why I thought it was his cock. I'm so sorry.

[B]

And so I was like, I'm so sorry. He was like, also, you slept walked. I was like, slept walked. He was like, yeah, you got up at the foot of the bed. And I was like, dylan, what's going on? And then he was like. Then you made this sound. Like an anime demon. I'm like, wow, I've. I didn't even know I slept walked. So I was mortified. This. I've never met this person before. I didn't know I slept walks. I didn't know that I was the devil himself, that this was inside of me. And I bit him awake. So yeah, I just felt so embarrassed. And he's like, I. I think I'm going to go home.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I thought the snoring was the big problem.

[D]

Oh my God. So do you think because the snoring was something you would use to avoid having someone sleep over is that's why it's gone this long without you knowing that you have these crazy mid sleep habits?

[B]

So, yeah, I think because it was like before really any big relationship I had where my ex like diagnosed me with sleep apnea and so that, I don't know, I think it was just like so long sleeping by myself that I didn't know I had these issues.

[D]

Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, I'm a huge sleepwalker. You know, Mike Birbiglia has to, of course he has to be strapped in like into like a sleeping bag that's then like taped.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

Over at night. Yes. Even after the day.

[A]

Finish that special.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The doctors say after the special it'll be done, it'll be gone.

[D]

But sadly it's still with him, I believe. Yeah, yeah. I'm a sleepwalker, but only when I'm very, very stressed.

[B]

That's right. When I'm stressed is when I, like when I was on tour, I would sleepwalk and freak out. My friend.

[D]

Currently at the moment, I've been barricading my hotel room.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Because I'm so scared I'm gonna run out into the lobby or something in my pajamas just like doing something insane. But I've been waking up screaming in the middle of the night and running through the house and my poor boyfriend is having to get up and chase

[B]

me and you still haven't farted.

[D]

I still haven't farted. I've done everything.

[B]

Funny, farting is the least of your worries.

[D]

I know. It's kind of all I've got now. You know what I mean? I'm saving it for when I really need to break some tension or something, you know? But no, mine is mad. In fact, when I was first starting out on television, I'd never experienced like press and paparazzi before. So I started getting super dressed up in the middle of the night in my sleep. So putting my hair into a high pony and wearing like a strapless like dress for the club. And I was wearing like high 4 inch heels. And my brother, who I lived with at the time was like, hey, what you doing? Thinking I'd come in at like three in the morning and he was like. And every morning I was waking up looking amazing and I was like, what is happening? Because normally I look like Saddam at the end, you know, when I wake up. And I was like, put together. And I had no idea how I'd gotten dressed like that. My brother was like, yeah, you've been doing it in the middle of the night every night.

[B]

That is productive sleepwalking.

[D]

Yours was fucking terrifying.

[B]

Mine is terrifying and literal. I'm half devil or something.

[D]

No, it's fine. People do these things. James punched me in the middle of his sleep.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And I had thankful my back to him. But he, he used to do wing chun for years. So he's like, like black belt or whatever in like martial arts. And he was, I turned, I was like, ow. What the. And I turned around and James was just in this position, like this.

[B]

Oh my God.

[D]

In a perfect form, like, oh my God. And I thought he'd broken one of my ribs, he was so mortified. But I just don't think we could be held too responsible for these things.

[B]

Wait, my only reference for wing chun is the band Wang Chung.

[D]

That's great.

[B]

That's the same thing, but it's also a martial art.

[D]

Okay, Wing chun. It's wing chun, not wing chun. I was being very English. It's wing chun. It's Chinese. And it's, I think, invented by a woman, like a very little woman to be able to use someone else's weight against them. So my 6 foot 7 boyfriend learning it is my favorite thing ever because I just don't think she would have imagined that Being who would use it later on. Yeah, but he's like.

[A]

He's like kind of an indie musician.

[B]

Yeah, he's. He's frail, right?

[D]

Like, young, lean, would do jiu jitsu? Is that what you're saying?

[A]

He's not. He's not learning Krav Magra. Like, he's.

[D]

Oh, God. We're going to a break. Sorry, James.

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[D]

And we're back. Okay, so it's time now for us to open up our chakras, our truth chakras, and share with the world our true wrong turns. Sabrina.

[A]

Okay? And I want you guys to, like, cut me off at any point that you feel uncomfortable. Give me space.

[D]

Do you want to go second? Regret you're changing color again. Okay.

[A]

I just, like, I just am. You know, I think just one time I told this story and it did get clipped, and I feel very.

[D]

We're not gonna clip it. So everyone listening, just know that this is just for us. This is a community secret. Okay? And we're gonna keep it that way. This is the circle of trust. We listen and we don't judge. Yes. Okay.

[A]

She's not that I, like, care about animals, like, a lot. Like, okay, I just want that. Do you know this story front and center? Do you know this story at all, Dylan?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Basically, I have a roommate in New York, and my roommate has this cat that, like, this amazing Siamese cat I'm super close with. Like, because my roommate works, like, is a chef, works all the time. So, like. And I often work from home. Like, I'm writing and then, like, every now and then I'll, like, go out for, like, shows, but I'm, like, often at home, so me and this cow are really close. We got her as a kid and then she went into heat. And my roommate is.

[D]

What happens when they go into heat. I. I know that that's when they do all their, like, it's like season or something, but.

[A]

Right.

[D]

What are they going through?

[A]

It's not a. I'm not like, I'm usually not parents, like, all. No, it is like when boys get, like, horny at 13 and suddenly, like, they watch porn, like, non stop. Like, all.

[D]

The cat was watching porn.

[C]

The cat.

[A]

The cat was watching hentai and it was making me uncomfortable. No. Well, honestly, what was Shocking to me is like, I'm very used to the idea of like, okay, like I've gone to a friend's house, their dog, their, their guide dog is, is humping my leg or it's humping a stamp like you. And then we all just go like, oh, haha, like whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What was hard was that I was the only living emotional being in that building. And she's a girl cat, so she's not just like, I wish you would just hump me. But instead. Or like hump, but instead, she would genuinely just be screaming, crying, begging me to her. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's really different and it's really a significant thought.

[D]

She was screaming to.

[A]

She was genuinely backing it up for me.

[D]

On all fours.

[A]

She's technically always on all fours, but it was like different. It was like, yeah, yeah, ass up. And like, it's like when you take

[D]

the subway next to a straight man and they're rubbing up on you. You know what I mean? Like when it's packed and it just doesn't feel like they're moving at the same rhythm as the train. Like they found their own fun rhythm.

[A]

It's so like that. Except it's like whole. They're leading with whole.

[B]

This cat was half whole at this point. I don't know what right then.

[A]

Yes, yes, it was like it was. And, and it was just like, she just was like constant. Yeah, I was like the guy in the subway. Like she was just always on me and like, and just crying out in pain and like, no, just to be

[D]

clear, you're not the guy on the subway. She is the guy on the subway.

[A]

I know, I know. I'm. She is the guy on the subway. And I want to make, I want to take a moment for everyone listening. She is the guy on the subway. I'm not the guy on the subway. I am the victim.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I'm a survivor.

[D]

A hundred percent.

[A]

I'm a survivor. Believe non binary people when they say

[B]

they believe non binary victims.

[A]

Believe me.

[B]

Believe cat. Sexual harassment. Yeah. Harassment.

[A]

Yes. And so my roommate, it's. It's her cat. I can't take her to the doctor. Like, it's just like, I can't like, go make this cat get a surgery. Like, yeah, but I have to live with her and spend every day with her. And at some point I was like, I feel like I should, like, is there anything I can do? Like, I care about this cat. I also care about my own mental health. And well.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So I Googled, like, can you relieve, like, a cat in he. Like, yeah, just Google.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, just Google.

[D]

What do you mean? Like, with. I'm not racially profiling you, but, like, sort of acupuncture. Like, what are you.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yes, exactly. I was like, okay, maybe that's exactly right.

[D]

I was like, rubbish.

[B]

Can I Reiki this out of the cat? Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Okay, so what happened?

[A]

So then, yeah, there actually was a lot of Chinese people from China who made YouTube videos explaining how to Easter. This is Easter medicine. And if you don't like what I'm up to, you need to check yourself. Look in the mirror. Are you white?

[B]

Check yourself, check yourself. Explore this rabbit hole, what my people have been doing. You're weird. Cracker.

[A]

All these white doctors researching cancer and still. Where are we? Yeah, my dad went to China. He took a little pill. His thyroid issues, gone. But in America, they said you would have to remove the whole thing.

[D]

What did you do?

[A]

I just. And now I'm making it sound so much worse. I literally just learned how to press this pressure point where. Where the tail meets, like, it's like, just where the tail meets the body.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

So it's like. It's like. Like, it's like where your spine meets your hip bone.

[D]

Okay, so a bit like a cat's. Like, perineum gooch.

[B]

Like a cat gooch a cat's tail.

[A]

I would say.

[B]

No. Oh, sorry.

[A]

Not near the perennial. Outside of. Clearly outside of.

[D]

Okay, clearly.

[A]

I was like, well outside of the perineum.

[D]

Okay, okay. They're not that far outside of the. You know, it's all close together, but not.

[A]

Yeah, okay, so I got really good.

[D]

Anyways, I. Yeah, no, finish that sentence. You got really good.

[A]

I got really good at treating the cat. At. At relieving.

[D]

How many times a day would you say you had to.

[A]

Well, I thought if I just did it once, she would be good for

[D]

the day you've opened.

[B]

Yeah, that's the cat's prostate. That feels good.

[A]

Yeah. So then she would come back maybe within a few minutes. Like, unfortunately, I don't know. I don't know how many times I would do it. And I wish I didn't have to do it, but for some reason, when my roommate would do it, it wouldn't work. She only liked it when I did it.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

Oh, my God. So what's the.

[B]

I think your cat's a rice queen.

[A]

My roommate's Asian, too.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

My cat's a chaser. She loves. She only wants. She only Wants training.

[D]

So people got mad at you the first time you ever talked about this on the Internet?

[A]

Yes, because they clipped a video where I'm just like, yeah, I made that cat come a hundred times a day. And then, I mean, I, I took it down, I think before I was. Because I didn't want. Because you would get in trouble. Basically. I was on Grace Writer's podcast, which was also like, share your cringiest things. And I shared a bunch of random. They just took. But yeah, they were just like, wow. Didn't have this on my bingo card. Grace Writer getting canceled for platforming. This random cat rapist wanting to save you guys. That I know part of me was, you know what?

[D]

It's one of the only things left on my bingo list to be gotten in trouble. Yeah. For platforming.

[A]

It's just like. And all the comments are so like, I can tell this person liked what they were doing. And I was like, I definitely.

[D]

I don't get that sense.

[B]

Me neither. Me neither. I don't get that sense.

[D]

No. Also, you went beetroot red while telling that story. There was no, like, twinkle in your eye.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, no, I made that cat come 100 times.

[D]

No, take it back.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Take it back.

[A]

No. It was so terrible. It was so bad.

[D]

Oh, man. How long does it go on for Heat?

[A]

I think it was genuinely like over a year, bordering on two years.

[D]

That's just like every few minutes for a couple of years.

[A]

No, I'm. Well, I definitely went a long time without learning it. It was just towards the end where I was like, should I, like, do something? It just seems to get worse day by day.

[D]

Like, well, she would version of this.

[B]

I know. I, I, I'm imagining a cat behind a keyboard. Like, I stand by Sabrina. Always have always been a fan, and this will never sway me not to like them.

[D]

Yeah. They could never make me hate you, Sabrina.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Oh, Matt, thank you for sharing. Okay. Because I could see that that was traumatic for you to have been.

[A]

I did it for you.

[D]

My dog has been molesting my arm for two years now, and I've been suffering in silence and no one knows. And for some reason, like, she does it to the time of whatever music happens to be playing. So I was watching a TikTok of Charli XCX and she jumped up on my arm. I have a video of it that I will actually post when this episode comes out where she comes up to me, jumps up on my arm, and then just starts shagging my arm. But to the beat of the Charli XCX song, and it's just truly dramatic. I can't listen to Charli XCX anymore. Not safe.

[A]

That's great. Your dog has a good stroke game.

[B]

Yeah, I know. Wow.

[D]

Great rhythm. You're a legend. Thank you for being caring for that animal and understanding how difficult a time it must have been for her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Dylan.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

What the fuck did you do wrong?

[B]

Oh, my God. Now I can't follow that. But this was a time on Fire Island.

[D]

Not your time with Sabrina.

[B]

Not my time with Sabrina, sadly. Which was so much fun. This was 2020. It was a Monday night, and I decided, like, I kind of wanted to host a party at our house.

[D]

Are you a traditional host?

[A]

No.

[D]

So, okay, so this is, like, a new thing. This is a new thing for me.

[B]

And I was a really unhappy.

[D]

I hosted my first party in, like. Like, three months ago. And I'm 40.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So it's so daunting when you're not, like, someone who does it all the time.

[B]

It actually stresses me out a lot, hosting a party.

[D]

It was the worst day ever. Sorry. Please. Hopefully. I don't think my friends listen to my podcast. They're not very supportive people. It's like, go on.

[B]

Yeah. Because I'm worried about people, like, getting along with each other.

[D]

Having a good time. Liking your friends.

[B]

Exactly. And then I'm not having a good time myself.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And also, I was never, like, a cool kid in high school. My mom would be. She was a cool kid. So she's like, if you're ever blackout drunk, call me. I will drive you home.

[D]

I'm obsessed with your mother.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And I'm like, a legend.

[B]

She is. And I'm like, mom, I'm playing charades with the theater kids. Like, this is. I'm not hosting big parties, but this was, like, the first time. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna host a party in a big way. So I was like, texting all these guys how, like, we met. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, like, crushing on and, like, you know, like, texting, texting, texting. And so it's happening. I'm like, okay, 8pm all right. This is. And I get nervous, so I do a bump of ketamine from my friend, and I'm already like, okay. You know, I'm feeling. And people start to trickle in. I'm getting nervous. I'm like, I'm gonna do another bump. And so I do it out of someone's nail.

[D]

Lovely.

[B]

Lovely. And this shoots me to outer space. People are still trickling in, but I feel as if I'm dying and being reborn. Every second and every breath, I'm dying. Every breath out, I'm reborn.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

So scary. And so it gets to a point where I had to remove myself from the situation, and I call my brother. I'm shaking, and I'm like, max, is Oprah alive?

[D]

What?

[B]

And then he's like, yes, Oprah's alive. Because it's like, if. If I know Oprah is alive and on this plane, then I'm like, okay. All is okay.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And then he's like, we have parents, right?

[D]

Imagine if she just died.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

The destabilization of that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And so it was, like, truly losing grip of reality, hallucinating. And. And then I see my best friend there, Ivy, and we. And I start to sob. And then people at the party are like. They turn. They're like, wait, this is the guy who invited us.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

And I'm, like, wailing, like. And they're like, whoa, this is weird. What's happening? Whose house is this? And then I'm, like, so embarrassed. I, like, kind of, like, take a moment in the bathroom to, like, collect myself. Collect myself. I think. 30 minutes pass, and then afterwards, I call everyone.

[D]

I'm like, hey, everyone, you emerged a diva.

[B]

I emerged in a. I emerged in, like, a gown.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, hey, everyone, if I do a backflip right now, will you forget I just cried in front of you? And they're like, yeah. And so I'm like, okay, here it goes.

[D]

And then I do mean backflip.

[B]

I land it.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah. And then they're like, oh. I'm like, party on, faggots. So, yeah, I like tears still. I'm like, party on. So.

[D]

Oh, God, that really plays like a film.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It was really the first ever party that you've arranged.

[A]

Backflipping is, like kind of a theme thing you do regularly now.

[B]

Absolutely.

[D]

Genesis of it is that.

[A]

Well, I'm wondering it. Was it, like, at that time, were you already kind of known for being a backflip guy?

[B]

Within my friend circle, yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yes. So they're like, here he goes again.

[A]

That's what I mean.

[D]

There's something people with that.

[B]

They're like, oh, he's pulling out the old tricks again, I see. Yeah. Me and my brother would. We were the most annoying kid at every bar mitzvah because we'd be like, Circle up, up, circle up. We're gonna backflip.

[D]

Yeah. So what would be your magical question of, like, am I, like, how. How do you know you're in the right timeline? His was like, is open.

[B]

Who is your tether?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Or like, what?

[D]

It's a tricky one, isn't it?

[B]

Yeah. Is that cat still here?

[D]

I think mine would be like, is Hugh Grant still in a bad mood? Do you know what I mean? Like, that's how I feel.

[B]

The present dimension.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

That's good.

[D]

Is Hugh Grass still mad at absolutely everyone? That's mine.

[A]

Is that his thing?

[D]

It's his thing. He has like almost every interview now is just about, what other things do you hate? And he just lists all of them off. Like, he hates people with backpacks. He hates water bottles. He hates people listening to music on their phone. Like, he's so angry with everyone. It's fantastic.

[A]

It happens to British men when they get older.

[D]

No, it happens to British people when they're born. It's not. Hugh Grant is just the voice of people.

[A]

Oh, also, I know my magical question would be, is Simu Lu still talking about Boba? I just needed a second to just go through what I think about.

[D]

That is so sweet that you just, like, couldn't handle the drug that you took and then sobbed at your own party.

[A]

It's.

[D]

All of it is so like 13 coded.

[B]

I know. I felt like I'm finally gonna be like, I arrived. Yeah. I'm finally gonna host a cool party.

[A]

If it means anything, I was there with you the next year. And Dylan was really hot and like sought after. I would have no idea. He was a total flop the year before.

[D]

Can I ask, did you do like any extra prep to be like, I'm gonna be so fucking cool.

[B]

This year it felt like high school. I'm like, this year, I swear to

[D]

God, like a high school reunion.

[B]

Right.

[D]

I literally felt like that you have to reinvent yourself.

[B]

Exactly. I'm like, I rooming with Sabrina this year. Things are looking up for me and I'm.

[D]

Did he plan a party?

[A]

Did you end up doing the popper party that you wanted, like a proper.

[B]

But I didn't host that.

[A]

Cuz that was. Who hosted that Ivy.

[B]

That Ivy.

[A]

I see, I see. So he's. Well, so now Dylan's best friend is host. He's like, he's best friends with the host, which.

[D]

Do it again. I think it's just not for either of us.

[B]

I think.

[D]

I think it's just not who we are. We are Attendees. That's just important to know who you are.

[A]

Hot shit. But to be clear, being a trans masc lesbian with love handles makes me completely invisible to everybody on the island. Even the birds. I'm not kidding.

[B]

I was like, even the deer were

[A]

like, I was in a pool and like a family of geese are swimming. And I was like, damn, not even the geese see that I'm here. I'm just completely a non entity on Fire Island.

[B]

Said the geese.

[A]

The geese were swimming in the pool.

[D]

Unbothered.

[B]

Unbothered.

[D]

Just like, so nice to have this place.

[B]

They're like, oh, no one's in this pool. Let's go. Let's start the orgy here.

[D]

Oh, that's fantastic. All right, we'll be right back after the break.

[B]

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[C]

Give it a try.

[D]

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[A]

Me slow when network is busy. See terms.

[D]

Okay, that was a lot to recover from. Yeah, you're both amazing. You've made me cringe in just at the very end of my tail, at the bottom, in places I didn't know existed. But before you go.

[A]

Yeah, the outer perennial.

[D]

Before you go, I want to read you a story from our listeners. They write in with the most amazing stories every week. This time it's from Mindy. This is our Misery Loves Company part of the podcast. So Mindy says. A few years ago, my roommate and I tried to record a sprite challenge video where you chug as much as you can and unleash a demonic burp. Have you seen these videos? Okay, well, guess you're not on the cool algorithm. Stupid clean fun, right? We both managed to swallow an entire litre without stopping and hold it in for a few seconds. But then came volcanic pressure And I threw it all up, covering both of us. My roommate laughed so hard she started to choke. And I responded by throwing up again, this time spraying my stomach bile directly in her eyes. She screamed that she couldn't see, which meant I barfed blindly reminded her. She then moved out of our apartment and we never spoke again. Needless to say, we never posted the video. Mindy, that's insane.

[B]

She has to post the video. She's a dumbass for not that's going

[D]

viral isn't talking to you. Anyway, yeah, literally, I will post the video. Mindy, I love you. I'm your friend. You're safe with us. Oh, my God. God, yeah. Mindy.

[B]

Mindy. That is gold.

[D]

That is amazing. Yeah, I'm actually jealous. I'm jealous that I didn't do that. I'm gonna go home and do it by myself in my hotel. Insane.

[A]

That's like, literally, like a superpower. Like, if someone tried to, like, rob you or assault you, you just

[D]

be like, I just need to buy a Sprite.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Hold that gun. Exactly. Just give me a beat.

[D]

I totally understand her. Then vomiting again. Like, I'm very, very quick to vomit if I see someone else vomit. In fact, one of the worst times I remember, like, I would just project our vomit out of nowhere if I see someone else throw up. So I can't be near anyone who's even nauseous. But I once went to a 4D cinema. Have you ever been to a 4D cinema? Right, so it's like the chairs are moving in time with everything. I think it was the Kingsman. And someone vomits into the camera. But there's like a squirt thing on the chair in front of me, so it feels like the vomit I've just seen is now squirted all over my face. So then I projectile vomited onto the person sitting in front of me. Yeah, I did. And then I got kicked off.

[B]

The person on the phone's like, wow, this is really high tech. Wow, you've outdone yourself, Cinemark.

[A]

She's like, wow, it comes from every direction.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

It's like you're like a paid actor.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And that was my first acting role. That's how I got into acting. Anyway, thank you both for coming in. You've been a fucking delight. I never want this to end. Before you go, will you tell everyone where they can find you and anything you want them to see or listen to?

[B]

Dylan, you could follow me on Instagram. Dylan Adler on my new YouTube with five subscribers Dylan Adler comedy I'm on tour this year so go check it out on my website.

[A]

You can follow me on like Instagram or TikTok@asabrinawu. I'm also gonna be posting some tour dates for the fall next year soon. And you can also see me in Joyride on Netflix or Murderbot on Apple.

[D]

Yes, they're both so funny.

[B]

So fucking funny.

[D]

I love YouTube so much. I'm so happy that you came and I'm so happy that you were together as me too. That's ideal. Mostly just so I can see this like weird squishy side of Sabrina when talking about you. Yay squishy.

[B]

You're such a squishy side.

[A]

Sorry.

[D]

Thanks for coming in.

[B]

Bye.

[D]

Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo of your own wrong turn. All you have to do is email personal disaster storiesmail.com youm can find full length videos of our episodes on YouTube. And don't forget to subscribe like review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends about us. And if you are also enjoying me as a person, I have a substack. It's called a low desire to please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna fuck off now. Bye.

[B]

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[B]

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