Emily Wilson and Erica Hernandez

Summary

Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Episode: Emily Wilson and Erica Hernandez | Released July 30, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode dives unapologetically into the world of personal disasters, focusing on real-life "wrong turns"—cringe-worthy, humiliating, and mortifying experiences. Host Jameela Jamil welcomes comedians Emily Wilson and Erica Hernandez to share their most embarrassing stories and revel in mutual commiseration. The tone is candid, chaotic, and hilariously anti-inspirational: “We’re anti-inspiration. We’re pro-commiseration on this podcast.” (Jameela, 01:38)

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Meet the Guests

• Emily Wilson: Writer, actress, comedian (Tuesdays at the Red Room, Call You’ll Parents, touring “Fixed: How I Got Rejected by Reality TV”).
• Erica Hernandez: Actress, writer, comedian (Search Party, 911, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, Jury Duty: Company Retreat).

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Segment 1: Setting the Scene & Micro Humiliations

Start ~01:18

Jameela's Brown-on-Brown Outfit Confession

• “Every single thing on my body is just brown, brown, brown, brown, brown... I was worried that I look like a piece of shit. Literally.” (Jameela, 01:27)
• The group immediately leans in to laugh at themselves and each other.

Emily's Snowy New York Disaster

• Story about insisting on taking public transport during a snowstorm for the sake of frugality, only to wipe out in pink Adidas track pants.
• “An entire butt cheek is, like, black with black New York snow… She gave you her seat… I’m on the wrong bus.” (Emily, 05:34 - 06:18)
• Humiliation escalates as teenagers laugh behind her.
• “I remember what it was like to be a kid. I'm back in middle school. So I turned around and I was like, I know. Isn't so stupid. And they, like, stop laughing and look away.” (Emily, 08:06)
• Jameela on the terror of teenage girls:
  • “We should only send teenage girls to fight the teenage girls of the other country because they're the only species who can make the other person—they don’t have to kill—they can just make the other person want to kill themselves.” (Jameela, 11:03)

Erica's Basement Apartment “Solitary”

• Describes living in a windowless illegal basement in NYC—getting locked out one night with only pajamas and a trash bag, no phone or keys.
• Goes “slowly crazy” gauging time by reruns of Friends, facing down a cockroach, and eventually has to pee in a paint pail.
• “Someone just found this, like, pale of pee. And I just carried that... It felt like a version of solitary confinement.” (Erica, 15:03 - 16:06)
• Jameela’s empathetic tissue box pee story:
  • “The only thing he had for me to pee in… So I just shoved a tissue box in between my legs… then it’s just getting soggier and wetter and collapsing.” (Jameela, 17:03)

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Segment 2: The Big Disasters—“Wrong Turns”

Starts ~20:17

Emily Wilson: X Factor Crash and Burn

• At 15, auditioned for X Factor US as a duo “Awesome” with her best friend.
• “The first words out of the first judge’s mouth were: ‘Austin, I think you’re a star.’ ...And you just see on my face, like, my whole... you just see it. It's written all over my face.” (Emily, 22:40 - 23:03)
• Simon Cowell was her “saving grace,” but the rest preferred Austin. Dad had a meltdown on TV, and eventually, America voted her off.
• “I got death threats and ‘you should kill yourself’…being at home, like, like on a Wednesday night…reading all these comments.” (Emily, 24:30)
• Turned the trauma into a comedy special (“Fixed: How I Got Rejected by Reality TV”). Jameela: “That just sounds like… you just were locked in a bakery of humble pie from beginning to end…” (Jameela, 27:14)

Erica Hernandez: The RA and the Halloween Edible Meltdown

• RA (Resident Advisor) at college, needs to keep a clean record.
• Accidentally gets way too high on homemade weed cookies at a Halloween party.
• Paranoid that her friend with a lime green wig is “starving to death,” so Erica force-marches her 60 blocks, feeding her snacks the entire way.
• “In my head, I was like, we will lose valuable nutrition time if we take public transportation, so we're gonna walk from the West Village to Lincoln Center… every 10 blocks I stopped into a bodega and bought her some form of a snack.” (Erica, 31:07)
• At the dorm, convinced a grilled cheese sale is a “test” to catch high students, has a meltdown in the elevator, sobs while eating.
• “I start sobbing—I had to feed my roommate, but now they know I’m high… Spent the entire night sobbing to my roommates.” (Erica, 33:00-33:40)
• Jameela: “Were you on meth or something? What was going on?” (Jameela, 32:09)

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Segment 3: Audience Story—Misery Loves Company

Starts ~38:38

“Colby’s Latex Sex Doll Calamity”

• Colby tries to improve on sexual stamina before a date by using a sex doll—discovers mid-date that he’s allergic to latex, develops a “huge rash” and “swollen dick.”
• Memorable moment:
  • “I remembered the sex doll that I was given as a gag gift… if I could fire off a practice round I would probably last longer... I learned that day that I am very allergic to latex and that I'm the biggest idiot alive.” (Colby, read by Jameela, 38:54)

Related Anecdotes:

• Emily: The “chili flake” mishap in Italy: after a partner puts chili flakes on food, they both experience “insane burning” during sex from residue.
• Jameela: “I went down on someone after some Cholula—it’s bad. You don’t think about that.” (Jameela, 41:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Teenage Girls as Apex Predators:
  "There's nothing scarier than a teenage girl, and that will always be the case." (Emily, 11:41)

• On being a Reality TV “Victim”:
  “Being roasted by Nicole Scherzinger, I would say was like, number one wrong turn in my life for sure.” (Emily, 25:14)

• On Basement Living:
  "My bike got stolen. This place was crazy… there was a hole in the wall of my bedroom. The carpet was stapled to the floor." (Erica, 13:17)

• On Substance Catastrophe:
  “In my head, I was like, this is a test to figure out who’s high… and then they’re gonna use that information against us.” (Erica, 33:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction of Guests & Premise: 01:18 – 03:11
• Emily’s Micro-Humiliation (Pink Pants & Snow): 04:54 – 10:45
• Teenage Girl Trauma & Reflections: 10:45 – 12:18
• Erica’s Basement Apartment Story: 12:20 – 18:06
• Jameela’s “Tissue Box” Incident: 16:44 – 17:34
• Emily’s X Factor Story: 20:17 – 28:58
• Erica’s Halloween Edible/RA Saga: 29:07 – 33:40
• Audience Disaster (Colby’s Sex Doll): 38:38 – 42:28

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Endings & Plugs

• Emily Wilson: Instagram @hereealemilywilson, standup/show info, “Fixed: How I Got Rejected by Reality TV” on YouTube & TikTok.
• Erica Hernandez: “Jury Duty: Company Retreat” streaming on Prime Video; social: @ericaherns.
• Jameela: Substack “A Low Desire to Please”.

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Final Vibe

The episode is a raucous, cathartic group therapy for anyone with a “personal disaster story.” Vulnerability meets absurdist humor, making listeners feel less alone about their own wrong turns in life. No lessons, no fixes—just laughter and shared shame.

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For Audience Participation:
Send your own wrong turns to: [e-mail]

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For more episodes and full-length videos, visit the show's YouTube channel or listen wherever podcasts are available.

Transcript

[Monica Reinagle]

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[Jameela Jamil]

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[Erica Hernandez]

price estimates and read reviews all on the app.

[Jameela Jamil]

Download today. Be honest, do you think I'm dressed like a poo?

[Emily Wilson]

I don't think so. When you walked in, I was like, wow, that is nap Jack. You should be late. Okay, that is too good.

[Jameela Jamil]

I was late and I'm sorry. But welcome to Wrong Turns with Jamila Jamil.

[Erica Hernandez]

It's a good coat.

[Emily Wilson]

It's a great.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank you very much to everyone here. I've. I've done a really neurodivergent outfit today where every single thing on my body is just brown, brown, brown, brown, brown. And I've committed to the bit. And then brown face, brown ankles. That's why I was worried that I look like a piece of shit. Literally. Anyway, I enjoy this podcast because I get to ask the funniest people I think in the world to come and tell me their tales of utter disgust and horror and all of the hideous things they've made happen or that they have just had to endure. And we're anti inspiration. We're pro commiseration on this podcast. So this is not a place for us to judge. We're here in solidarity of what fuck ups we all are. And joining me today I have a writer and actress and comedian who's appeared at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. She hosts Tuesdays at the Red Room in New York and at the Internet show Call youl Parents. And she's currently touring her comedy special Fixed How I Got Rejected by Reality tv. It's Emily Wilson.

[Erica Hernandez]

Oh my God.

[Emily Wilson]

You wrote that?

[Erica Hernandez]

That's amazing.

[Emily Wilson]

I love that.

[Monica Reinagle]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, you're a big deal.

[Emily Wilson]

That's who I am, I guess.

[Jameela Jamil]

Exactly. And we welcome an actress, writer, and comedian who's appeared in search party 911. Sorry, 9 11. No, 911. And last week, tonight with John Oliver. Can you imagine?

[Erica Hernandez]

It's a whole different show. Yeah. You're like, why is she here? She's here to talk about that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, that was my wrong turn. And last week, tonight with John Oliver. She is hilarious in the new of jury duty. Company retreat. Streaming now on Prime Video. Erica Hernandez.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

Lovely.

[Erica Hernandez]

Lovely. Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

How's everything going? How are you doing?

[Emily Wilson]

I'm doing well. It's coming to the end of this Netflix festival, and my flight's tomorrow, and I'm pretty happy about it.

[Monica Reinagle]

Where are you going?

[Jameela Jamil]

Back to New York.

[Emily Wilson]

New York City. Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Right.

[Monica Reinagle]

There you go.

[Emily Wilson]

And I'm excited to see my apartment. I haven't seen her in a while.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

So that's where I'm at. But I'm grateful to be here, y'. All.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

I'm so happy to be alive.

[Jameela Jamil]

I was just explaining earlier that they kindly put me on on the first day of the festival at 7p at the same time as Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld and Tig Notaro and Shane Gillis at the Hollywood bowl around the corner, all at 7. So I was like. I had to hustle to sell tickets. I honestly, I was like, am I gonna have to show my butthole on the Internet to get anyone to see that I have a show? Didn't show my asshole would've. Yeah, but tickets came up just at the very end, I think, just from,

[Erica Hernandez]

like, made it to, like, half the crack. And then you're like, yeah, we're good.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. I went, yeah, exactly.

[Emily Wilson]

I don't want to have to do this anymore.

[Jameela Jamil]

I was about to show, and everyone was like, no, no, no. We'll buy tickets.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, please buy

[Jameela Jamil]

anything but that.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

And what about you, my dear?

[Erica Hernandez]

It's good. As I mentioned, I just got off a different thing where we had to eat very spicy cauliflower wings, and I'm having, like, a bit of a gastro moment, which is.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah. But it's. No, it's good.

[Jameela Jamil]

We put her at the end so that we don't have to deal with it.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I was saying to them both earlier that we have other episodes of this show in which one of our guests has sometimes farted, because I think newly honors epic farted. So much that we had to end the episode early.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Because of the poo particles in the eyes starting to make everyone burn.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

That was their wrong term. Isn't it crazy? You can really get it anywhere these days.

[Emily Wilson]

I guess so.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Indeed. So let's talk about some micro humiliations.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Just to get us in the mood.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah. To get us in the mood of embarrassment.

[Erica Hernandez]

Warming up.

[Emily Wilson]

I recently this. I live in New York, and we had so much snow this winter, it was like all the way piled up vibes. You know when the snow is vibes.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

I was like, I'm so terrible with my money. Habits never make sense. Like, one day I'm like, I'm gonna be really frugal and, like, spend carefully. And then the next day, and there's never a rhyme or reason why I'm deciding to try and conserve or not. And there was one day where I was like, today. I'm like, I'm not gonna call an Uber. I'm gonna take the bus and the sub. Like, I'm not. And I was like, caring on the day where I'm carrying heavy shoes.

[Erica Hernandez]

You pick the day when it's like, this is impractical.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

You're not taking Ubers.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're walking. You're a donkey at this point.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

A mule.

[Emily Wilson]

Donkey carry. Yeah, everything. And I'm. It's snowy. I'm in high boots and I'm in brand new pink Adidas track pants. And I'm running. I see the bus coming that's gonna take me down to my apartment on 7th Avenue. And I'm running. I'm running to go catch the bus. And I was like, here I am being economical. I ate shit so bad trying to get onto this bus that a woman. The doors open. The bus driver opened the doors after I. I fall. And the door just. It just slowly, like the hydraulics of the doors. And there's an old woman on a walker who gets up from her seat to help me. That's how I knew it was bad, because there was a disabled woman. Old woman getting up to help me. And I was like, I'm fine. Brand new pants. An entire butt cheek is, like, black with black New York snow.

[Erica Hernandez]

She gave you her seat.

[Emily Wilson]

She's like, you need this for. Sit down. I'm on the wrong bus. So I was like, all of that running to be on the wrong bus. The bus turns and goes over to 6th Avenue. I'm like, stop the bus, Peter Parker. But I'm on it. And I'm running with my One black ass cheek. And black with mud. Of course I'm white. And they stop the bus. Believe me, I wish. And then I get off the bus and I'm like, have you ever had to, like, walk in public with, like, a physical, like, where you're like, welp, I like. I wish I could have had a sign that was like, I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

I had jizz all over the back of my dress.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, right. Oh, really?

[Monica Reinagle]

Yeah. Where was that?

[Jameela Jamil]

I was hoping just to slip that in and then we wouldn't get into it.

[Emily Wilson]

No, I heard that.

[Jameela Jamil]

It was walking down. It was walking down.

[Emily Wilson]

I heard exactly what you said.

[Erica Hernandez]

I don't hear, oh, my.

[Emily Wilson]

Oh, my God, she had jizz on the back of her dress.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

Is that what you said?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Had sex. And it wasn't like a pervert on the tube, which has also happened to me. It was. It was. It was consensual jizz on my dress that I just didn't know was there.

[Emily Wilson]

Oh, well, you don't know it's there. That's actually.

[Jameela Jamil]

It wasn't a fucking fashion statement.

[Emily Wilson]

You were like, look at me.

[Erica Hernandez]

I saw the last turning. Dancing gy.

[Emily Wilson]

No, but that to me is more like, you get home, you realize you had food in your teeth. That's fine. That sucks. For, like, two seconds.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

This was like, I'm aware that my whole backside is black in these bright pink pants, and I have to walk home, like, well, because immediately, the first

[Jameela Jamil]

thing one thinks when they see that isn't that you fell over. It's like you shat all over it.

[Erica Hernandez]

Sure.

[Emily Wilson]

It did look like I shot myself. And I'm like. I just wanted to constantly be like, I know, I know, I know, I know. But I couldn't. So I'm walking and I'm laughing out loud, so I look crazy. And then there's, like, a group of, like, high school girls behind me, and I hear them start laughing, and I'm like, oh, my God, these girls are laughing at me. I remember what it was like to be a kid. I'm back in middle school. So I turned around and I was like, I know. Isn't so stupid. And they, like, stop laughing and look away. I was like, you can't do that. You can't stop laughing. After I. I was like, I know, right? And they were like, ew.

[Jameela Jamil]

What is that, by the way?

[Erica Hernandez]

They're like, you're not in on the joke.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, yeah. We were actually making fun of you.

[Erica Hernandez]

You don't get to. You don't get to, like, you took the fun out of it for us.

[Jameela Jamil]

They really don't like it when we speak back to them. It's like they think that we're just apparitions that they can speak at, but then if we speak back, they find it scary. Like, I got into. Listen, I get high on the Internet and I get into my DMs, which is exactly what you're supposed to do when you have a big following, I think. And it'll be when something stressful is going down and people are really poking the bear. And I'll be like, I feel ready to take this on. Let me go ahead.

[Erica Hernandez]

Let me get last night's takeout.

[Jameela Jamil]

No picture. Could be a journalist in the Daily Mail. I'm going to get into the weeds of why I said that about Blake Lively. So I fucking start arguing with this girl.

[Emily Wilson]

No.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back and forth. And then she, of course publishes all of my, like, high DMs all over, like, the Internet and then starts making tiktoks about them. And I was kind of fine with it because I'm 10 toes down on what a bitch I am, so that's fine. But. But what I found really odd is that everyone was like, I can't believe that she's talking like this to a 24 year old girl as if I'm some sort of a pedophile.

[Emily Wilson]

As if you can't rent a car.

[Jameela Jamil]

A 20. A 24 year old can buy a home.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah. Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

I mean, not in like, Slovakia or like maybe not Los Angeles. This bit, you know?

[Erica Hernandez]

No.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. But also, I was only in my 30s, like, why am I the creepy, crazy predator for responding to a fucking 24 year old on the Internet? And that was the main issue that people had. They were like, I can't believe she's, like, having, like, conversations with 24 year olds on the Internet. I was like, oh, let's not do this. Basically. Jepstine. I'm Jepstine. Yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

Where's your island?

[Jameela Jamil]

Let's just clip that.

[Emily Wilson]

I am Jepstine.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, I hate that. They then made you feel.

[Emily Wilson]

I know, Pathetic. They made me feel pathetic and well deserved.

[Jameela Jamil]

But I was like, so good at it.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yes. They're like, it talks back. It talks back.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

They're like, she's actually looking us in the eyes. I mean, really, the results of zoom learning was very clear to me in that moment because I was like, they couldn't even look me in my eyes and they're bullying me. I was like, how do we get

[Jameela Jamil]

Here they just see a wheel of death, like, in front of their eyes, loading.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

What's she gonna say?

[Erica Hernandez]

I think she's present.

[Emily Wilson]

No, it was.

[Jameela Jamil]

It was.

[Emily Wilson]

I was overdue for, like, sheer humor. And then I just had to Keep walking down 7th Avenue on a Sunday afternoon. Like, everybody's out and about and I was like, I did something to deserve this. And I will. I will take it.

[Jameela Jamil]

What you did was you tried to save money. You didn't do anything to deserve this.

[Emily Wilson]

But this is just 290 I have.

[Erica Hernandez]

I just.

[Jameela Jamil]

What is it? The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Like, every time I've ever tried to take the sensible option, I've already always got my ass handed to me. But if a teenage girl's there to witness it, it is horrific. I've said often that, like, I don't know why we keep sending men to war. We should only send teenage girls to fight the teenage girls of the other country because they're the only species who can make the other person they don't have to kill. They can just make the other person want to kill themselves.

[Erica Hernandez]

I was going to say it is violent.

[Jameela Jamil]

Do you know what I mean? It would be like double suicide. It would be a suicidal. I think.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah. They're just there with their filters, like, wow.

[Emily Wilson]

No, there's nothing scarier than a teenage girl. And that will always be the case. I'm terrified if I have daughters, I'm like, I'm going to be afraid of my own children.

[Jameela Jamil]

All my friends biggest, like, apex predator bully is their daughter. Their teenage daughter.

[Emily Wilson]

No, I mean, the things I've said to my mom and the way I've made my mom feel is like, I should. That's why that happened to me that day. It was like just a car.

[Jameela Jamil]

Do you feel that way about every bad thing that happens to you is just. I was a bitch to my mum, probably.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, Honestly, probably.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's perfect.

[Emily Wilson]

And like, probably three other girl or more girls in middle school and my mom and this is my karma back.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

Is they're all in that bullying.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm handling it like a fucking champ.

[Emily Wilson]

And thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

What about you, Erica? Any micro humiliation?

[Erica Hernandez]

I do too. Yeah. Mine feels like a little less in the public eye, but it's more just like. I carry great shame for this. I lived in New York for 14 years. And similarly, it was like during the dead of winter, super cold outside, like negative 19. And I lived in this illegal basement apartment with two friends. Yeah, it was cool. The landlord probably could get into our apartment.

[Jameela Jamil]

So Breaking bad.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yes, it was great. There were no windows. And it was for sure, maybe a predatory situation for. For the guy that owned the building. But, like, we had to walk through a laundromat. Like, I had a key to this laundromat to, like, get to my apartment. Cause it was below. It was, like, in the basement.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is the beginning of a cannibal movie.

[Erica Hernandez]

100%. There was a Mona Lisa. Not real, but, like a fake. But just, like, down this hallway. And then there was, like, another door that you had to get into to get to my apartment. And my friends that I was living with were out. Cause it was like a Saturday night.

[Jameela Jamil]

And by the way, I bet this was still two.

[Erica Hernandez]

Oh, it was so expensive. It was worth, yeah, $2,700. I did not get my deposit back. My bike got stolen. This place was crazy. And I, like, no windows. There was a hole in the wall of my bedroom.

[Jameela Jamil]

Problem, probably.

[Erica Hernandez]

The carpet was stapled to the floor. And when I walked in, like, two days before moving in, I was like, is this ready? And he was like, yeah, yeah, we're gonna, like, fasten the carpet down more. And I was like, yeah, cool. At minimum, that would be great. And then they just didn't. So it was like, this is a

[Jameela Jamil]

generation that's being blamed for eating too much.

[Erica Hernandez]

Right. I'm like, I think I was economical, but I was. I was staying still living in a trash can. Yeah, truly. And I was staying home on a Saturday night. My. My friends were out, and I was watching something on television and just went to go take the trash out, but I had to, like, go into this sketchy hallway and theoretically was going to go up to the laundromat, but I make it just into the hallway. And someone had left this, like, courtyard door open, like, at the end. And this gust of wind came and shut the door. And I had no phone, no keys, nothing on me. So then I'm just holding this garbage bag, going, okay, I just got locked out of my apartment, but if I go out, I don't have the keys to get back in. And it's so cold outside. So I was like, I guess I'm just here until my roommates get home. Because there was, like, no way to contact them.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like, pajamas.

[Erica Hernandez]

Truly.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

And then I have to pee. And I've been like. By this point, I had been sitting on, like, some stuff that was, like, being stored outside of the room for quite some time. Just, like, sitting there listening to the tv. There were reruns of Friends on. And that's how I was gauging what time it was. I was like, okay, that's been three episodes. So that's probably like an hour and a half. Like, get off the plane, Truly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going slowly crazy. There was like a cockroach going across the floor. And I was like, you and me, man. Like, I just. And I.

[Jameela Jamil]

The cockroach is also paying 2,700amonth, just to be clear.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, Truly, that was my landlord, but. And I'm sitting there and I start to really have to pee. And I was like, if I go outside to anywhere to do it, first of all, I'm in my pajama. So, like. And then I won't be able to get back in. It was just this whole thing. And I finally go like, there's a paint pail and I don't have another option. And I just, like, opened it up. I let her loose, but. And my roommates came home, I think, at like three in the morning. Like, they'd been out partying. It was like, during college. And I was just like. And I remember putting the paint pail, like, towards the front of the stairs. Cause I was like, I need to remember to take this out with the garbage. And I think I put the garbage bag kind of like in front of it just to hide it. But I was like, I don't think I actually took it out. And then it was gone the next day. And I'm like, so someone just found this, like, pale of peach. And I just carried that. Yeah, it was like, just sitting there. It's just when you're like. It felt like a version of solitary confinement that I was like, what did it. Why? Yeah, I'm like, why is this happening?

[Emily Wilson]

Was there no door you could knock on of? Like, hey, can I.

[Erica Hernandez]

No. Because again, it was like, under the laundry. It wasn't like, in the actual building. So in order to.

[Emily Wilson]

And then he got out and found someone and started renting it out.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah. There truly was a winding staircase in the middle of the apartment that went up to the landlord's office, which he was not in at that hour because, trust me, I was like, well, maybe he'll hear now.

[Emily Wilson]

Sort of like, send me the address.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, you wanna get it?

[Emily Wilson]

I'm sort of curious now.

[Erica Hernandez]

I mean, it might be a good option. For sure.

[Jameela Jamil]

It'd be out of it. Many documentaries, don't worry. Yeah, probably a couple chains radiator.

[Emily Wilson]

You were the interim. You were between two murders.

[Erica Hernandez]

Sure, sure, sure, sure. Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

Oh, man.

[Jameela Jamil]

I had to piss into a tissue box, which is the worst thing you can piss into if you have to. I was. We were stuck in crazy traffic. I was a DJ at the time, and I was also very, very well known, so it was a nightmare if I got seen doing this. But we just had to pull over onto the side of the motorway and I had to just duck down. And the only thing he had for me to pee in. And there wasn't like. It was just road. It wasn't like any. Anything absorbent. I could pee just in, straight into. So it's just. I'm gonna pee all over myself if I don't have a tissue box. So I just shoved a tissue box in between my legs. And then, of course, it just gone. It's fucking made of tissue as well. It's made of papers. And then it's just like. It's just getting soggier and wetter and collapsing. And everyone's just warning as they're going by, like, beep, beep, beep, beep. And it was just so horrific.

[Erica Hernandez]

You're like, no, I'm not protesting anything. This is just like. Looks like I am.

[Jameela Jamil]

But it's such a specifically undignified thing. And I always feel that way about dogs. Like, dogs look embarrassed while they're pissing and do you know what I mean?

[Emily Wilson]

I'm like, I'm sorry, girl.

[Jameela Jamil]

I always feel so sorry. It's really weird.

[Emily Wilson]

The tissue box. I mean, obviously it's a little larger, but in theory, if I'm. No big.

[Jameela Jamil]

It was an empty tissue box, so it wasn't even absorbent.

[Emily Wilson]

I was gonna say opening. Are we picturing?

[Erica Hernandez]

Yes.

[Emily Wilson]

Perfect.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

[Emily Wilson]

Just liner up across the pond. It's that. That's like. Hey, what's up, buddy, old pal? Hunt. I forgot that that's. Yeah. Sometimes it's. Whoa. You don't hear a casual cry.

[Jameela Jamil]

That is a fucking nightmare. I'm very sorry, not only for what happened to you, but also just that you lived there for so long. That sounds really scary.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah. It was a terrifying place. And I was like, I'm gonna carry this with me forever.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Yeah. And also now, have you, like, stitched your.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, I'll relive it. I'll reenact it.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm so afraid of that happening. I carry my phone on a string at all times around my body. Yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

Oh, one of the, like.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I look. Look pretty cool.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

We'll be right back after the break.

[Erica Hernandez]

If you're looking for something predictable and low friction. Over the long term, public markets may

[Jameela Jamil]

be a suitable option.

[Erica Hernandez]

But the moment you want different investment characteristics, it may be time to consider the private markets. See how your wealth can work [e-mail]

[Monica Reinagle]

Access hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop [e-mail] Liquid IV hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

[Emily Wilson]

So good, so good, so good.

[Erica Hernandez]

New summer arrivals are at Nordstrom rack stores now.

[Jameela Jamil]

Get ready to save big with up

[Erica Hernandez]

to 60% off brands like Rag and

[Jameela Jamil]

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[Erica Hernandez]

Join the Nordy Club to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack.

[Jameela Jamil]

And we're back. Okay, Emily.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Tell me, what is your big wrong turn, your big regret or thing that you faced?

[Emily Wilson]

Big, big wrong turn. It no longer is a regret, but for a while it was when. And I have a whole comedy special about this. So this is a soft plug, but it is ultimately the biggest embarrassing story of my life. When I was 15, I went on the X Factor in America and I auditioned with my best friend Austin in a duet called awesome.

[Jameela Jamil]

Called Awesome A U S E L. And then there it is.

[Erica Hernandez]

There was your name for.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank you for sharing it.

[Emily Wilson]

Coming today.

[Jameela Jamil]

You can go. Me and Erica will just stay and take a break.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, Listen, it was 2011. People were doing finger mustaches. It was a cool name.

[Jameela Jamil]

So cute. Yeah, my boyfriend had a like, little cool Velvet Underground cover band called the Scene. Not like S E E N, which would have been quite cool. It was the Scene. S C E N E. Just three slin cells. Skinny.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is where it's at.

[Emily Wilson]

But don't you miss that about the 2010s of like, at least we're being honest about exactly what this is like. Very transparent. Earnest.

[Jameela Jamil]

It was Tumblr.

[Emily Wilson]

Right.

[Jameela Jamil]

You know, it was cool to own exactly who you are.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

And rather than putting a layer on top of it. That's like, this is still the thing. But why are we pretending it's not?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, Yeah. I was like, why hide my internalized misogyny? Let it put it out all over Tumblr.

[Erica Hernandez]

Let me write several paragraphs about it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, go on.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah. Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

So we auditioned for the X factors. My best friend Austin, who I was in love with, and he was like, Justin Bieber 2.0, and he was closeted, and we auditioned for the X factor factor, and the judges loved him and. And did not like me. And, like, at the live audition, except for Simon. He's my saving grace. Simon Cowell was like, I see what you're doing, and I believe in it. And I think is exactly what words were doing. Magic. No, we were singing.

[Erica Hernandez]

There's your second.

[Emily Wilson]

It was awesome. Yeah, no, we were singing. It was. It's singing.

[Jameela Jamil]

What did you sing?

[Emily Wilson]

Jar of hearts by Christina Perry.

[Jameela Jamil]

Nice. Okay.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah. Who do you think you are?

[Jameela Jamil]

I mean, you've got lovely, raspy voice.

[Emily Wilson]

I can imagine you could festival, but okay, it was. I mean, listen, I thought I did.

[Erica Hernandez]

Okay, wait, can I ask what the other judges like? It was very clear that they were like, we don't feel you. We like him.

[Emily Wilson]

The first words out of the first judge's mouth were, austin, I think you're a star.

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

[Emily Wilson]

And I will, like, to this day, like, if the last thing I hear before I die will be that in my head, austin, I think you're a star. And, like, this is coming from.

[Erica Hernandez]

They just don't even acknowledge.

[Emily Wilson]

Oh, no. They're like. But I'm not convinced of this duo. And you just see on my face, like, my whole. And I have the footage, and it's like, you just see it. It's written all over my face.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is how the other guy from Wham felt for years. I don't even know his name. I called him the other guy from Wham.

[Emily Wilson]

The other guy.

[Jameela Jamil]

And none of you filled in with the name?

[Emily Wilson]

No.

[Erica Hernandez]

Cause I don't know.

[Emily Wilson]

And my whole life will be spent trying to be not just the girl from that shitty duet. But I, like, grew up. I'm the youngest of four, the only girl. I was the lead in the play in middle school. Like, I was like, I am it.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

And then in front of 10,000 people and, like, the judges, like, Simon, Kalpala, Abdul, like, I grew up watching American idol thing. This is my dream.

[Jameela Jamil]

And the country's watching.

[Emily Wilson]

And the country's watching. And this is my best friend who I'm in Love with next to me. And they went like, yes, no. And then my dad has a meltdown, all that stuff. Long story short.

[Jameela Jamil]

On camera.

[Emily Wilson]

On camera, yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

Oh, no.

[Emily Wilson]

My poor dad, who's like. He literally was like, what are they doing to my daughter? That's not fair. But from Jersey. So it was, what are they doing to my daughter? That's not fair.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

No little insult.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, I love him. I love him for that.

[Emily Wilson]

I know. We love him for it. And they wound up sending us on together. Anyway.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay.

[Emily Wilson]

And I did wind up making it to the finals of the show. The top 17. As soon as America could vote, we were voted off.

[Erica Hernandez]

Sure.

[Emily Wilson]

And then when our Democracy. Democracy.

[Erica Hernandez]

Sometimes it works for you.

[Emily Wilson]

Sometimes I support democracy. Everybody should have a voice. Everybody should be able to vote.

[Erica Hernandez]

It's good that you're gonna vote on

[Emily Wilson]

which teenagers dreams we should crush.

[Jameela Jamil]

Was there social media at the time?

[Emily Wilson]

So it was like the year Instagram came out. So we were still posting, like, pictures of cups. So not yet there. But our audition went on YouTube and I got death threats and you should kill yourself. And she's so terrible. Like, and I remember, like, being at home, like, like on a Wednesday night. I had school the next day, like, reading all these comments of this coming out. And. Yeah, and I was still on the show. Like this, like, the audition aired before I had to, like, fly out to California for the live shows and, like, be happy to be here. And I knew, like, no one wanted me to be there. And yeah, we eventually got voted off and I just, like, didn't talk about it for years. And then of course, you know, a couple years ago wrote made it my one woman show as one. Fabulous.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[Emily Wilson]

But yeah, being roasted by Nicole Scherzinger, I would say was like, number one wrong turn in my life for sure. And I did willingly audition for the show, so I own that I put myself in the position for Nicole Scherzinger to be like, no.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

And I deserved it. But to this day, I would say that is my wrongest of all my turns.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, exactly. Also, I've only just seen in my notes that your band was called awesome. Spelt.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

A U S E M. Cause it's awesome. And Emily awesome.

[Emily Wilson]

And Emily Awesome.

[Monica Reinagle]

Them.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

It doesn't look like that when it's written down. It feels like a lovely charity, the neurodivergence, isn't it?

[Emily Wilson]

It does nowadays. You'd think it was a wonderful place to put your money.

[Erica Hernandez]

Right.

[Emily Wilson]

At the time it was.

[Erica Hernandez]

When you buy a Book. They're like. And an extra $5 will go towards the awesome foundation.

[Emily Wilson]

No, just to wannabe pop stars, teenagers who deserve to be put in their place and work.

[Erica Hernandez]

Oh, and where did he go off to stardom?

[Emily Wilson]

I don't know, girl. Have you heard of him? I mean, he's great, and he's so talented, but, like, not. No one from those shows goes off. Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, and One Direction.

[Monica Reinagle]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

Name one more from any of those shows.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

Where's Bo Bis?

[Jameela Jamil]

Who is Bo Bis?

[Emily Wilson]

Well, there you have it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Exactly.

[Emily Wilson]

And I love. I truly love Austin. I dedicated the whole special to him, and he, like, formed my personality. But I. And I love so many people who have done these shows. I loved everyone who was on my season. Everybody's mental health gets destroyed on those shows.

[Monica Reinagle]

Really?

[Jameela Jamil]

What's it like?

[Emily Wilson]

Awful. It's everything. It's awful. It's everything you think it's gonna be. But, like, at this point, we watch reality TV knowing that's what it is. At the time, I think it was still.

[Jameela Jamil]

It was just like, what a bunch of lucky kids.

[Emily Wilson]

Exactly. And I think everybody was, like, forgot that there was people on the other end of it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

And. Yeah. But again, I put myself in that position. Everyone who auditions for these things signs up for this.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

But it is hilarious how, like, brutal these shows are.

[Jameela Jamil]

That just sounds like a. Like you just were locked in a bakery of humble pie from the beginning to the end, and this goes on over months.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

How.

[Monica Reinagle]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

How much therapy have you had to have to recover from?

[Emily Wilson]

You know what's so funny was I was. I've been. I've only been in therapy eight months of my life. Probably should do more, but health insurance doesn't cover it.

[Erica Hernandez]

Feels like a brag, though. You're like, that's all I know.

[Emily Wilson]

Only eight months.

[Erica Hernandez]

She's like, you're good.

[Emily Wilson]

She stopped taking my insurance, and I was like, I'm gonna take a break. See it when I have insurance.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's good.

[Emily Wilson]

It was about six months into therapy where, like, it came out briefly, and I was like, yeah, with X Factor, blah, blah. And she was like, sorry, what? I was like, oh. When I was 15, she was like, we have to actually start over now. We have to reintroduce ourselves because. Are you kidding me?

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

So then we got into it and stuff. But I have to thank my parents. They raised me very well, I think, and I never really got totally beat down to my bone. And I think it's because of my parents. Love that I, like, made it through and was able to start laughing at it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. I just can imagine your dad in the comments just like, did he start like, oh, I know.

[Emily Wilson]

Truly. And to this day, he's like, that should be on your resume. He thinks I still have a resume somewhere. He's like, X Factor should still be at the top of your resume. You made it up. Thousands of people auditioned, and you made it like. He still thinks it was good. That's so.

[Erica Hernandez]

And you're like, dad, I've done so many other things since then. And that's what he's proud of.

[Emily Wilson]

He's, like, seen the show about it, and he's like, I still think X Factor was better. He was like, you were in front of Simon Cowell Jersey family, so.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, man. Well, yeah. Congratulations. That is a fucking phenomenal wrong turn. It is so surreal. I don't think we've had a reality TV show victim on this show so far. Well done, victim. Well done.

[Emily Wilson]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're a winner to me and only me. Erica, what was your big wrong turn in life?

[Erica Hernandez]

Mine was so. During college, I was an ra.

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't know what that means.

[Erica Hernandez]

Resident advisor. So it's like, if you're trying to be economical in school and you don't want to pay for room and board, you can work for the dorms, but then you have to be, like, the person who's. Yeah, you're babysitting monitor. Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay.

[Erica Hernandez]

So I was the freshman. Freshman R.A. which meant that I was like, they make it really intense where they're like, if you break rules, if you drink, if you whatever, like, you're gonna lose your job. So I. For Halloween one year, we went down to the West Village. I went to school at Fordham, which is, like, in the Lincoln center area of New York. It's about 60 blocks north of the West Village. And we're at a party. I'm dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood. My friend was wearing this, like. I don't know what she was trying to be, but I just remember this lime green wig. And we go into the kitchen, and someone had made edibles, like, these cookies, right? I have a horrible sweet tooth. So I was like, I'm gonna have a couple. Like, they can't be that strong. So I h. Think, like, two to three of these cookies for a while, having the best time. And then all of a sudden, like, this wave takes over, and I look at my friend with her green wig, and I just. I don't know what it was, but tunnel vision. I just go, she's starving to death. Like, in my head, I was like, she needs to eat, and it's an emergency, and we have to go right now. And everyone was like, what are you talking about? Like, there's food here, and, like, everyone's fine. I was like, she's starving. And I took her, and she was just like. She was also, like, high, but I think just, like, in the. Like.

[Emily Wilson]

Like, yeah, I am hungry.

[Erica Hernandez]

I think a little bit. She was like, oh, I'll eat. You know, like. And you do get the munchies, right? So it was like. I think she was like, yeah, I could eat. And to me, that translated as like, I need food immediately. Like, yeah, my stomach's eating itself, so I, like, take her. But then, I don't know why, but in my head, I was like, we will lose valuable nutrition time if we take public transportation, so we're gonna walk from the West Village to Lincoln Center.

[Jameela Jamil]

She's burning more calories.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah. But in my head, I was like, well, we have. There are more opportunities for food on the way. So, like, I think every 10 blocks, I stopped into a bodega and bought her some form of a snack and was, like, giving it.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, Just amazing.

[Erica Hernandez]

I mean, it was. She had a great time while I'm, like, stressing because I'm like, she's gonna crumble in front of me. It made no sense. I remember buying a pretzel from one of those, like, pretzel carts.

[Jameela Jamil]

But also, other people, like, around offended that you didn't feel like they were starving to death.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, they're like, do I not want.

[Jameela Jamil]

Girls can be like. Like, oh, I guess I look like I'm fine and well fed.

[Erica Hernandez]

Like, what about me? You're okay.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, you look fair.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah. A lot of friends that night. Yeah, you're fine. No, it was just her. I, like, took her from this party, and I think she was having, like, a decent time, too. So she was just kind of like, okay. But I was like, you have to eat. And we're walking up. I'm buying her food. I'm buying her food. We make it to 60th Street. By this point, I've probably bought her, like, three meals. But then we walked that whole way. Truly nonsensical. I think I, like, peed at some point, like, and I didn't go, were

[Jameela Jamil]

you on meth or something? What was going on?

[Erica Hernandez]

One would think it was truly, like, marijuana. It was weed.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay.

[Erica Hernandez]

I don't.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, maybe this was. Maybe you were projecting onto Her. Maybe you were hungry.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

And you were seeing her as representatives.

[Erica Hernandez]

I was like, if I. If you eat, then in a way, I've eaten too, because I've satisfied your needs. I don't know. But we make it to the dorm, and they're doing this, like, Halloween fundraiser. So they're selling grilled cheese for some club. And I walk in and I go. I was like, there's no way. We can't buy those. Like, I obviously need to feed her. And by that point, I was like, I need food too. But then I go, this is a test. And I was like, they're selling grilled cheese so that they can figure out who's high because we won't be able to resist it because we'll need food and we have the munchies, whatever. And I. So in my head, I was like, this is a test to figure out who's high. And then they're gonna use that information against us.

[Jameela Jamil]

Our brain is like the inside of the matrix.

[Erica Hernandez]

It's truly. It's exhausting to be in here, let me tell you. But I was like. And I. And so I knew this. This was my mentality, and yet still was like, I have to buy. I think I bought, like, three grilled cheese. I gave some to my roommate. I go into the elevator, and I start sobbing. Cause I was like, I will. The test. Like, the test is like, they're gonna figure out that I'm high and I'm gonna get fired. I'm just sobbing in this elevator. Like, other people are coming in, and they're like, what is wrong with her? And I was like, I had to be my roommate, but now they know I'm high, and they're like, like, what is going on? Spent the entire night sobbing to my roommates in the. As I'm eating grilled cheese and then woke up the next day, and they were like, yeah. You were like, never again.

[Emily Wilson]

Oh, my God.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God.

[Emily Wilson]

Do you get triggered now when you see green hair?

[Erica Hernandez]

No, I've never thought about it that way.

[Jameela Jamil]

But, like, starts pulling out her credit card.

[Emily Wilson]

Hang out to buy some.

[Jameela Jamil]

A grilled feed.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah. I have a Go Macro bar in

[Jameela Jamil]

my guest, reminding me of a time where I was at a festival and I met this famous actress. We'll just say her first name. Her name was Tamsin. And she was very beautiful.

[Erica Hernandez]

She was Googleable. I thought it was gonna be, like, Ashley.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know. But now I'm happy that, like, at least nine Tamsins will get bullied online for Me saying this, but I met her, she was really lovely. We really hit it off. She was so gorgeous. Like, gazelle, like, so there's another clue.

[Erica Hernandez]

And

[Jameela Jamil]

we hang out all day and at the end of the day, she's like, oh, I'm a bit nervous to walk back to my tent alone. And we're at this festival in the woods and like the Isle of Wight or something, which sounds like some sor of shit from Harry Potter, but it is a real place in England.

[Emily Wilson]

It sounds like a very scary. Right. Supremacist place.

[Jameela Jamil]

Absolutely. It sounds like the next name of America.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's coming.

[Jameela Jamil]

We're already there. Yeah, exactly. I just immediately. I don't even flinch. It's like, you know, of course I'm gonna walk this gorgeous goddess home. So I walk her back to her tent, but I didn't realize how abandoned it was. Like, she's staying, like, in the depth of the woods and we have to walk past a lot of abandoned woods to get to the campsite area. We'd clearly left it way too late and everyone else had already go bed. So I. I said to her, I was like, tamsin, this is really terrifying. Like, I'm. I'm gonna have to like, why did you bring me here? And she was like, well, because I was worried that I'd be raped. And I was like, yeah, but I have to come back here through on my own. I was like, what if I get right? She was like, no, you'll be fine.

[Monica Reinagle]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

And then I had to argue with her about how, like, I could be raped.

[Emily Wilson]

Right.

[Erica Hernandez]

Meanwhile, there's a man watching both of you from the Double D. And I

[Jameela Jamil]

found myself, like, advocating for my own assault.

[Emily Wilson]

Right.

[Jameela Jamil]

It was just a really.

[Emily Wilson]

I'm worth it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

I do.

[Jameela Jamil]

Just the you'll be fine thing just triggered that. Because it's so funny how not worrying about someone else can make a big statement.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

Like, shouldn't.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. But I mean, I famously that met Harvey Weinstein, he didn't try anything. So, like, you know, I just like, I emanate a wonderful sort of fart of get away from me. It's brilliant.

[Emily Wilson]

And people's eyes start to sting.

[Jameela Jamil]

Do you still get high now?

[Erica Hernandez]

Occasionally. But I've figured out that, I mean, there was one other time close to the Sun Madam. You have to figure it out. It's been like in. In diminishing levels. But the second time I did was similar. I got into an Uber pool and thought I was getting kidnapped. And then there were other People getting in. And so I spent the entire car ride buckling up because I didn't want to make fast movements. I thought the Uber driver was gonna, like, turn around and do something. So I was buckling up like this for like 45 minutes. And it just, to this day, makes me laugh so hard.

[Emily Wilson]

Oh, my God.

[Erica Hernandez]

But since then, I figured out it's like, it's a much smaller amount that I can do.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, great. I just can't believe there are multiple. No, I can't.

[Emily Wilson]

I can't. And one time, this comic, Napoleon Amel, he. We were. The people were smoking outside of a show. He was like, do you want some? And I was like, no, I don't really smoke. He was like, why not? I was like, it makes me paranoid. And he was like, we've got nothing to run from. And I was like, oh, maybe. Anyway, sorry,

[Jameela Jamil]

Simon Cowell. Yeah.

[Erica Hernandez]

I will say the only ones that I do now are the ones that are supposed to help you sleep. So I think it has like, not the other part in it.

[Jameela Jamil]

What it does is it knocks you out during the hours that you would normally be crazy. So no one has to deal with you. I think is really the.

[Emily Wilson]

But if you miss the wind, you don't fall asleep. Good luck.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Let's fucking go. Hello, Jason Bourne. Yeah. Amazing. We'll be right back after the break.

[Monica Reinagle]

Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop [e-mail] Liquid IV. Hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

[Erica Hernandez]

Because you didn't just say, how can I provide these investments? You'd be, how do I holistically provide everything? How do I bring in the legal, the accounting, all this, and do it at a price point no one else is doing it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Learn more about how we approach wealth [e-mail] integration upgraded.

[Emily Wilson]

Try angel stuff for your tushy.

[Erica Hernandez]

It's made by Angels.

[Emily Wilson]

Soft and strong. Budget friendly. The choice is simple. Pick up a pack today.

[Erica Hernandez]

Angel soft. Soft and strong.

[Jameela Jamil]

Simple. I love that. To look at you both, you'd just Be like, nothing's happened to these lovely ladies, but it's just chaos. Two little chaos demons.

[Emily Wilson]

Oh, 100%.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, that's fantastic. Well, I have loved hearing your stories before you go, however, we love to have stories from the audience. It's called Misery Loves Company, and today's story is from Colby. C O, L, B, Y. You wrote awesome, Colby. How do I call Colby? No.

[Emily Wilson]

Ask me for spelling.

[Jameela Jamil]

Calcium. So Colby says, I am hoping this remains the most humiliating moment of my life. My friend set me up with a beautiful woman, way out of my league, but she agreed to go out with me. I was very nervous that if I were lucky enough to have sex, I would come too fast like I always do. Ugh. You have my heart now, Colby. I remembered the sex doll that I was given as a gag gift, and I thought if I could fire off a practice round, I would probably last longer. It's actually very sensible. It's a bit intense. Insane. But I actually did it. I picked her up, and I took her to dinner. This is the woman, not the sex doll.

[Erica Hernandez]

I was thinking we were talking about the doll.

[Jameela Jamil]

He says, we were hitting it off.

[Emily Wilson]

I didn't laugh at any of my jokes.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, we were hitting it off, but I started to get an itching and burning sensation in my crotch. Oh, my God. Did he get an STD from the sex doll? No. He says, I went to the bathroom and I had a huge rash on my now quite swollen dick. Oh, my God. I tried to wash it off, but the itching was unbearable. And I learned that day that I am very allergic to latex and that I'm the biggest idiot alive. Oh, Colby, you know what? Oh, man.

[Emily Wilson]

I had something. Something similar. Ish happened. Like this, really. I was on a date with a guy, and we were in Italy, and he passed the. I guess I didn't have to say that, but just so everyone knows, I've been Italy.

[Erica Hernandez]

I'm glad that you did, because I was like. You instantly were like, oh.

[Jameela Jamil]

Suddenly, it became a really chic story.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah. Thank you. And he asked for red pepper on his food, and he, like, put pepper flakes, like, on his.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, chili flakes.

[Emily Wilson]

Chili flakes, yes. Put it on his pasta. And this is a lesson in how men don't wash their hands because he peed at some point. And then we did the nast. And we're both. I know as it's happening, we're both feeling an insane burning sense, and I. This was like. You know, I was studying abroad, so I was like, is this. Am I catching an STD live? Like. Like, do you just know, right?

[Erica Hernandez]

Was this the first Italian man? And you're like, is this what it's

[Emily Wilson]

like to be with an Italian? Like, I don't know, truly. Is this, like, what they're made of?

[Erica Hernandez]

It was actually supposed to burn.

[Emily Wilson]

Burning. And none of us are. Neither of us are saying anything about it. And, like, we did. They didn't say anything about it. We just kind of, like, stopped. I mean, I was 19, and we. He was young. Like, we probably were just, like, more uncomfortable by the idea of confronting it than by being like, hey, are your parts on fire?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Is that what the Alicia Key song is about?

[Emily Wilson]

This girl's on fire.

[Jameela Jamil]

She went to Italy.

[Emily Wilson]

Went to Italy. And the red pepper on the fingers. So I've. I've kind of been there. Yeah. It was not from a sextile. It was from an Italian, which arguably worse. And I'm curious if the. What happened?

[Jameela Jamil]

I mean, I went down on someone after some cholula. It's bad. It's bad. You know, you don't think about that.

[Emily Wilson]

I mean, you at the Cauliflower wings. Good thing we're just talking.

[Erica Hernandez]

You're not all about you, because sometimes you don't know that it's going that way.

[Emily Wilson]

No.

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Emily Wilson]

No.

[Jameela Jamil]

What a fucking nightmare. Colby, I'm dying to know if you told the girl, so maybe just text in and let us know. Just for me. I won't even have to read it out on the show. Just for me. Let me know if you two, like, stayed together and if this was a meet you. Did you tell her?

[Emily Wilson]

Because maybe, like, they didn't sleep together on the first night. And then she created.

[Jameela Jamil]

He's Just Such a Gentleman Patient. Colby, you legend.

[Erica Hernandez]

Until two years later when she finds the doll. What is this?

[Jameela Jamil]

I had the reprobate thought of, like, well, it's swollen. This is the time for her to see it.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Give him that girth.

[Erica Hernandez]

He's like, go 30ft away. You can look at it from there.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, look, but don't touch.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please. Silhouette.

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, before you go, will you tell everyone where they can find you and hear and listen to your stuff?

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah, I'm hereealemilywilson on everything. I've got a special all about that X Factor story. It's called Fixed How I Got rejected by reality TV. It's on YouTube and TikTok, and I'm on the road a bunch, so sign up for my mailing list or go on my Instagram and I've got dates on there.

[Jameela Jamil]

Fab.

[Erica Hernandez]

Very nice.

[Emily Wilson]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

And what about you Erica?

[Erica Hernandez]

Yeah. If you haven't chat I will plug Jury Duty presents Company retreat. If you haven't seen it, definitely watch it. And then I Erica Hearns without some of the vowels on all the socials and you can look there for shows and stuff.

[Jameela Jamil]

Aussie Em thank you so much guys. Lovely to meet you. Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can even email us a voice memo of your own Wrong Turns. All you have to do is email personal disaster storiesmail.com youm can find full length videos of our episodes on YouTube. And don't forget to subscribe like review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends about us. And if you are also enjoying me as a person, I have a substack. It's called a low desire to please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna find off now. Bye.

[Monica Reinagle]

Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. It's its science backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop [e-mail], liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

[Emily Wilson]

So good, so good, so good.

[Erica Hernandez]

New summer arrivals are at Nordstrom rack stores now.

[Jameela Jamil]

Get ready to save big with up

[Erica Hernandez]

to 60% off brands like Rag and

[Jameela Jamil]

Bump, Levi's, Adidas and Free people.

[Erica Hernandez]

Join the NordicLub to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack.