Garcelle Beauvais and Ron Funches

Summary

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Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Episode: Garcelle Beauvais and Ron Funches
Release Date: June 4, 2026

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Episode Overview

Theme:
In this episode of "Wrong Turns," Jameela Jamil welcomes comedian/actor Ron Funches and actress/author Garcelle Beauvais to share their most cringeworthy, mortifying, and embarrassing life blunders. Dignity is checked at the door as the trio dives headfirst into some of their most outrageous disaster stories, fostering camaraderie around public shame and proving none of us are alone in our mishaps.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

Hilarious Introductions & Setting the Tone

• Guest Banter (01:39–02:53)
  • Jameela “begrudgingly” accepts Ron Funches as a "national treasure" after playful bickering about self-given accolades.
  • Garcelle Beauvais is introduced with heaps of admiration—and admits being a recipient of Jameela’s public compliments.
  • Quote:
    “I hit you with a compliment and then I scurry away like a little incel.” – Jameela (03:38)

Are Disasters a Theme or a Blip?

• Garcelle: Claims disasters are rare in her life.
• Ron: Contradicts—“I live off of that... It’s how I make my career.” (04:00)
  • Quote:
    “I'm not a smooth person. I have let things happen to me all the time. It’s how I make my career: just talking about things that embarrass me.” – Ron (04:01)

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Micro-Humiliations & Public Fails

Garcelle’s Fashion Show Fiasco (Introduced Wrong Artist)

• Story: Garcelle introduces Melissa Etheridge at a live event, but it’s supposed to be Melissa Manchester.
• Quote:
  “And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce Melissa Etheridge. And it was Melissa Manchester.” – Garcelle (05:07)
• Aftermath: Garcelle is mortified and avoids Melissa Manchester to this day.
• Comment:
  “I set her up for failure.” – Garcelle (05:37)

Jameela’s Boyfriend Mix-up

• Micro-Humiliation: Everyone thinks Jameela’s boyfriend is James Blunt and wrote "You’re Beautiful" about her.
• Takeaway: Public confusion creates its own awkwardness. (05:40)

Ron’s Greatest Hits of Humiliation

• Offered in rapid-fire sequence by audience request (06:02–09:13):

  1. Pooping in a Recycling Bin:
     • While waiting to move into a family friend’s house, Ron urgently uses a recycling bin as a toilet.
     • Quote:
       “The first impression this lady has of me moving into her place is me pooping in her recycling bin.” – Ron (07:01)
     • Group Reaction: Absolute horror; confirmation there was “no bag” lining the bin.
  2. Fight in a Vancouver Pot Shop:
     • Ron intervenes when a man is racist to pot shop workers, only to be punched in the mouth multiple times.
     • Quote:
       “He skipped a bunch of steps. He went straight to punch to mouth.” – Ron (08:40)
     • Rationalization: Considers himself the winner since “he left” and he got "free weed."
  3. Honorable Mention:
     • One more poop story (later revealed), shrooms, and celebrity encounters teased.

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Major Wrong Turn Stories

Garcelle’s Biggest Oops: The Pregnant Assumption (11:26)

• While modelling for JCPenney, Garcelle asks a new art director when her baby is due—she isn’t pregnant.
• Quote:
  “Oh my God, when is your baby due?... There were no babies, no anything in there.” – Garcelle (11:53)
• Consequence: Never worked for JCPenney again.

Jameela’s Pregnancy Weight Gain and Celebrity Gossip (12:21)

• Gained significant weight in 2012 due to steroids; strategically “stuck out” her belly for subway seats.
• Shares a story about a "famous" celebrity gaining weight during surrogate pregnancy to avoid questions.
• Quote:
  “I would just stick [my belly] out so I would get a seat on the train... I wanted people to think I was super pregnant.” – Jameela (13:09)

Ron’s Infamous Mushroom Incident at Eric Andre’s Party (14:24–16:58)

• Tries mushrooms for the first time at a wild Hollywood party (petting zoo, Santa strippers, one bathroom).
• Ends up stuck in the bathroom for 20 minutes, creates a line, exits to horrified guests and a potent stench.
• Quote:
  “I realize this is going to be a terrible situation no matter what happens… I open the door and there is this lady… she could smell it and she just goes, ‘Oh my God.’” – Ron (16:02)
• Leaves party in shame, not sure if he lost his date.

Jameela’s Bad Mushroom Trips (17:12–19:49)

• Accidentally takes mushrooms at a Bjork concert—convinced a "toothy vagina" on stage is going to eat her.
• Second trip: Acts “normal” while walking like Lurch, thinks she’s hiding being high from the Franco brothers.
• Quote:
  “This big, toothy pussy… I’m ducking and weaving… I clung to [Jason Mantzoukas], hiding and not understanding why he's being so brave standing up to this big toothy.” – Jameela (17:40)
• Lessons: “Never again.”

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Mushroom Disasters & Accidental Intoxications

Ron’s Shroom Mishaps Continue (20:46–24:24)

• Taking shrooms on planes leads to time jumps or terrifying everyone in his row.
• Quote:
  “Sometimes it feels like time travel because you just wake up and you're there... But other times, you scare a whole row of people sitting by you.” – Ron (20:52)
• Accidentally drugs his mom with shroom gummies; she calls him, weeping about love, unaware she’s high.
• Quote:
  “I knew something was wrong, ‘cause I was lying in bed crying, ‘Why doesn’t anyone love me?’” – Ron’s mom (23:32, recounted)
• Mom now has boyfriends; Ron jokes the experience may have changed her life and made his driver her boyfriend.

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Listener Story: "Misery Loves Company" (27:03)

• Listener Violet:
  Pranks her LA counterparts by sharing the Lemonparty site in a meeting, not realizing 20-30 executives were on the call.
• Quote:
  “It's a site that once you see, you never forget...” – Jameela (27:44)
• Everyone’s Take: Violet is a legend for not losing her job and taking one of the greatest professional swings.

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Notable Quotes

• “Dignity does go to die. This is a graveyard for any integrity we had left in this world.”
  – Jameela (01:39)
• “There’s a difference between Etheridge and Manchester… I set her up for failure.”
  – Garcelle (05:07, 05:37)
• “He skipped a bunch of steps. He went straight to punch to mouth.”
  – Ron (08:40)
• “Even if I see a head crowning, I will never ask that question [if someone is pregnant].”
  – Garcelle (12:00)
• “Hollywood parties are a terrible place to take mushrooms… You fly way too close to the sun.”
  – Jameela (20:37)

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Where to Find the Guests / Plugs (29:00)

• Garcelle Beauvais:
  • Instagram: @garcelle (like Cher or Madonna, just one name)
  • New audiobook: “Protecting My Peace at All Costs” on Audible—“It’s really juicy”
• Ron Funches:
  • Instagram: @ronfunches
  • Tour info: ronfunches.com (London, Cardiff, Manchester, Amsterdam, New York, Boston)
  • Always on the road

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Endnote

“Wrong Turns” is a cathartic, unapologetically chaotic space where shame gets aired, mushrooms are (mis)handled, names are forgotten, and disaster binds everyone together. Jameela Jamil, Garcelle Beauvais, and Ron Funches manage to make every humiliation hilarious, creating a sense of solidarity for listeners everywhere.

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Timestamps of Important Segments (Approximate)

• 01:39 – Welcome & introductions
• 04:00 – Is disaster frequent?
• 04:26–05:39 – Garcelle’s artist intro fail
• 06:02–09:13 – Ron’s rapid-fire humiliations (poop, fight, weed)
• 11:26–12:10 – Garcelle’s “when’s your baby due?” blunder
• 14:24–16:58 – Ron’s mushroom mishap at Eric Andre's party
• 17:12–19:49 – Jameela’s bad mushroom trips
• 20:46–24:24 – More shroom stories; accidentally dosing his mom
• 27:03 – Listener story: Lemonparty Zoom disaster
• 29:00 – Guest social plugs & goodbyes

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Original Language and Tone:
The tone is irreverent, confessional, self-deprecating, and celebratory of disaster. The guests exchange playful jabs, commiserate, and laugh at their own expense, underscoring the show’s promise: here, your greatest blunders are not only forgiven—they’re applauded.

Transcript

[Lowe's Commercial Announcer]

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[Jameela Jamil]

Hello and welcome to Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil. This is a show where dignity does go to die. This is a graveyard for any integrity we had left in this world. Publicists hate this show, but it's where we tell our our deepest, darkest tales and allow the public to feel solidarity with us. Please. Because none of us are alone in our shame. I get to invite my favorite funny, wonderful humans on the show to tell me their tales. And today I have joining me. According to his website, my guest is a national treasure. He's a comedian, writer and actor.

[Ron Funches]

You had to put according to his website. She could have just went with it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Went with it?

[Ron Funches]

It's in there. Cause people believe it. I'm not the only one saying it.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

No, of course not. Done.

[Jameela Jamil]

Jesus, your mom doesn't count.

[Ron Funches]

No. A lot of people are saying that. So many people are saying it. They should indeed.

[Jameela Jamil]

He's a comedian, writer and actor. From inside out. Two trolls. Curb your enthusiasm, Blackish and Lou. And now you can see in season four of Traitors, it's motherfucking Ron Funche. Woo. Alleged national treasure, everyone. No, I'm just kidding.

[Ron Funches]

Confirmed, convicted national treasure.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes, indeed. And we are thrilled to welcome another national treasure, an actress. Not according to her website. An actress, author, producer, model, who's appeared in Coming to America, the Jamie Foxx show, Homecoming, and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Her new audiobook, Protecting My peace at all Costs. It's Gus El Bove. Hello.

[Ron Funches]

Hi.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Hi.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hi.

[Ron Funches]

Hi.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hi.

[Ron Funches]

Buddhist host.

[Jameela Jamil]

Boo.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Thank you for having me.

[Jameela Jamil]

I can't hear you. It's so nice to have you. It's so nice to have you here. Like, I don't know if you're. Remember the amount of times I've come up to you just in passing like a little creep and just been like, I love you so much. I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world. But I just like. I. I like to hit and run.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Oh, okay. Yes, you do. Hit and run.

[Jameela Jamil]

I hit and run. Like, I hit you with a compliment and then I scurry away like a little incel. But, yeah, you.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

No, I'm a fan. I'm a fan.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm a fan. Like, so. I love you both. I think you're both so, so fucking hilarious. When it comes to disaster, is it something that you consider a theme in your life or a rare occurrence?

[Garcelle Beauvais]

I would say rare occurrence.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's good.

[Ron Funches]

No, not me. I live off of that. I'm not a smooth person. I'm not, like, just a casual person. I have let things happen to me all the time. It's how I make my career is just talking about things that embarrass me or finding the positive in what people consider negative situations. That's my whole career.

[Jameela Jamil]

Would you be able to give us a small sample of some of the humiliations you faced? A micro humiliation, perhaps?

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Micro humiliation. So I was asked to introduce an artist at a fashion show event that my friend was putting together. And so I drove there. I was excited to help and be a part of this. And while we were backstage getting ready, the models had done their thing. Now it's my turn to introduce this artist. And he kept on saying, melissa Etheridge. Melissa Etheridge. So I was so thrilled to meet her. So I go on stage and I say hello to everyone that's seated in the audience. And I said, and now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce Melissa Etheridge. And it was Melissa Manchester.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, no. It's very embarrassing.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

She came out there and to this day, I don't ever want to see her because I think she hates me.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, no. Does she take it really personally?

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah, it was not nice. I mean, come on. I'm introducing her, and there's a difference between Etheridge and Manchester, and.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, that's a whole other person.

[Ron Funches]

And then there's a level of disappointment for the people around you who are like, that's not Melissa Etheridge. And then she goes, I know I'm not Melissa. Okay, I get it.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

I set her up for failure.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know. My boyfriend, literally nobody knows his name. He's, like, a successful singer, but everybody thinks he's James Blunt. And everyone thinks that the song you're beautiful was written about me. And it's a whole other man of a different generation. Yeah. Yeah. So I. I feel you. Even when he. Yeah, there you go. I mean, that's the worst thing that's happened to him of all. Ron, what about you? Any micro humiliations?

[Ron Funches]

I got so many humiliations.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, let's go. Give them all to me.

[Ron Funches]

I'll let you pick one. One. One is a fight story, and then two are poop stories. Oh, and one of them involves another famous person. So you.

[Jameela Jamil]

I want all of them.

[Ron Funches]

No, you want all of them.

[Jameela Jamil]

I want all of them.

[Ron Funches]

It seems like too many.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, never. National treasure.

[Ron Funches]

Oh, there we go. Keep saying it international now.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

Okay. So the first one was moving into a family friend's place with my first wife, and we did not let her know at the time we were going to arrive. So when we got there, she was not there, and we couldn't get into the place at all. And we ended up breaking into her garage and just kind of hanging out in there for a while. And I had to use the bathroom very much. So the very first impression this lady has of me moving into her place is me pooping in her recycling bin.

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah, that's bad.

[Ron Funches]

She's pretty bad.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did it even have lined bag?

[Ron Funches]

No, no bag.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Buy her a new recycling.

[Ron Funches]

I was poor. What are you talking.

[Jameela Jamil]

He's like, I wasn't a millionaire.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Wasn't doing well at all. I was moving in with her.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

I didn't even imagine.

[Ron Funches]

Pretty bad. And then the fight story was that I went to Vancouver, Canada, during the time before weed was readily legal, and you'd had to find these little pot stores that would accept your American id. And I went there, and there was this guy who also walked in because it was a sketchy place, and he wanted to buy some pot and he didn't bring his id. And they were like, this is our only rule is you have to have some form of id. And they get. Guy got really mad at him and so he started being racist towards them because they were Asian. And I. I didn't know. I just don't stand for racism for any type, which was a lesson that I learned. I didn't know that about myself, but then I got very mad. So then I was like, these guys are at work and. But I'm not, so I'll fight this guy. And so I was like, this guy's loud and angry. He clearly isn't going to go fight. So I was like, if you won't fight somebody, fight me. And then he just punched me in the mouth multiple times and then left.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

And did you realize you were a good fighter then?

[Ron Funches]

No, I just. I mean, I'm a better fighter now. I'm a much better fighter now sometimes. But I just thought he was posturing. I thought there's usually a demand. People know, there's steps. You like talk, you go back forward, a little push and then in his face. He skipped a bunch of steps. He skipped a lot of steps.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah, he did.

[Ron Funches]

He went straight to punch to mouth.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Wow. Holy.

[Ron Funches]

It was terrible.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh my God. I always wonder what would happen if I were to actually get in a fight. I think I'd be pulverized. It's absolutely horrifically embarrassing. Thank you for those incredible micro humiliations. I can't wait for what last.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Me too. I can't wait for the last one.

[Ron Funches]

I won the fight. He left. I won. I still won. He left.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Okay, okay. And did you get the weed?

[Ron Funches]

I got free weed because I defended

[Garcelle Beauvais]

them,

[Ron Funches]

but it was hard to smoke cuz my lip was bloody.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Oh, you poor baby.

[Jameela Jamil]

We'll be right back after the break.

[Ron Funches]

Nice. I was the button.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah.

[Lowe's Commercial Announcer]

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[Jameela Jamil]

And we're back. I can't wait any longer to hear what you're going to say. Garcelle, what was your big wrong turn?

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Oh, my big wrong turn was I. When I was modeling, I used to work for JCPenney's all the time. Made so much money from them and they got a new art director that I didn't know anything about. And we're, you know, on location, this fabulous island. And I'm in the trailer and this woman comes in and she introduces herself and she seems lovely. And I look at her and I go, oh my God, when is your baby due?

[Jameela Jamil]

No, no, no, no.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

There were no babies, no anything in there.

[Ron Funches]

You can't do that even if you

[Garcelle Beauvais]

know, okay, now I will not ask a woman even if I see a head crowning. I will never ask that question.

[Jameela Jamil]

You just be like, oh, look, you're shitting, by the way.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

By the way, I never worked for them after that.

[Jameela Jamil]

That was my last time you got fired. I was huge.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

I was like, no, that would be

[Jameela Jamil]

the end of that is out of control. I mean, I love that shit. Like, I. I gained about 75 pounds in five months in 2012. I mean, it was documented heavily by the Daily Mail. So if anyone is wondering how did you do that?

[Ron Funches]

Who was your partner? I was like McDonald's, KSP

[Jameela Jamil]

I I and Domino's. A little bit of Domino's up in there. Yeah. It was pretty crazy. I was on steroids at the time for like asthma or something. And so I was just like, I was eating like three cakes, like full birthday cakes a day. I was insatiable. It was honestly the time of my life. But because I'd gained all the weight so fast, like a lot of it was on my middle.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

And so I would just stick it out so that I would get a seat on the train and the bus. I loved it. I wanted people to think I was ye super pregnant. In fact, there is a very famous, very, very famous, a plus plus list celebrity who recently deliberately gained loads of weight while having a surrogate pregnancy so that everyone would think she had the baby naturally because she just didn't want to have the conversation. And it's so iconic to watch someone's truly like, like gone up like all of the dresses really like looks nine months pregnant wearing all the pregnancy wear.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

That's a strategy.

[Jameela Jamil]

And has had a kid. Like I know you're desperate to know who it is.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Comfortable in a bathing suit is when I was pregnant.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

I don't want to know who it is because I don't want to have to run into that the same.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you will.

[Lowe's Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

That is definitely super iconic. Yeah, 100%. What about you, Ron? What was your big wrong turn?

[Ron Funches]

I mean, how many blunders I can one have in their life? I have so many.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, please give. Like I said, this is a, this is where the player Runway for you. Yeah, just get it all off your chest.

[Ron Funches]

Thank you. I was gonna tell a story about when I first moved to LA and I was trying to make friends in comedy and I got invited to Eric Andre's birthday party which is a cool thing to get involved.

[Jameela Jamil]

Cool.

[Ron Funches]

It's very cool.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's not just a famous person, it's like, like a cool famous.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Eric is lovely. Still one of my favorite people in all of this business. He's a lovely gentleman and his parties are notorious for having everything that you could imagine as far as like petting zoos and little people and Santa Claus based strippers and all the variety.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sounds like his basically his TV show come to life.

[Ron Funches]

Exactly. And so I brought a lady that I was interested in and of course there's a variety of soft drugs there and I had the time, had never done mushrooms before and so I was Like, I'm going to give them a try. And I didn't realize how bad they can mess up your stomach. And so at certain point in this party, I realized I really got to go to the bathroom. And this is before Eric had too much money. So he was living in a very shitty apartment complex. Very small bathrooms, very small. And so I.

[Jameela Jamil]

One bathroom for the whole venue, one

[Ron Funches]

bathroom bathroom for the whole place. There's a line of, like, six people for the bathroom. And I'm going in there, and I realize I'm like, oh, this is going to be a terrible situation no matter what happens. And so I'm in there for a good 15, 20 minutes. People are knocking on the door, the

[Jameela Jamil]

recycling bin, when you.

[Ron Funches]

I know, God, that that was a godsend by comparison. And so at some point, I'm like, well, I'm just going to open this door, and then I'm leaving this party. And so. And because I'm on mushroom rooms, I can see everything in slow motion. I open the door, and there is this lady. It couldn't. It was like a movie because she had the, like, just a chubbly, comically fat face. That was like a movie. And as soon as open door, I locked eyes with her, and then she could smell it, and she just goes, oh, my God. And everyone reacts. I run, I leave. The party is the funniest thing in the world to me because I'm on shrooms. And then Eric and I are still friends, so I guess it didn't really harm me, but it felt terrible. I was like, oh, no. Did I ruin my girl? Who knows? I don't know.

[Jameela Jamil]

She died.

[Ron Funches]

She probably died. Yeah. I was like, we're done here.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wow. Yeah. You can't.

[Ron Funches]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

You can't carry on the date.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

No, no. But also, like, there's no second date.

[Jameela Jamil]

But also mushrooms with your sense of time. So if he thought he was in there for 20 minutes, it could have been six hours or vice versa. Could have been one minute. And felt like it's.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

I'm too scared.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, no. It's insane. I had a really embarrassing. I had a really embarrassing time on mushrooms. I took them, like, once I've spoken about this podcast. I took them by mistake and unfortunately was at, like, a downtown music festival where. Where Bjork was headlining. And Bjork is already.

[Ron Funches]

This sound like a perfect place for mushrooms.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, no, not a downtown la, like, concrete jungle. Like, it's the opposite of what they're supposed to be in. And then. And then Bjork's playing And she's got, like, this big set that is a vagina with teeth in it. And my brain thinks the vagina is coming out to eat me. And it's like the teeth are going. And I'm like. I'm ducking and, like, weaving like this, like, big, toothy pussy. And I'm just, like, screaming, and no one else is.

[Ron Funches]

I'mma let it get me. Tell you the truth,

[Jameela Jamil]

I love the idea that everyone just being slapped by the flat. Like, give me your beef. Curtain. Oh, my. Yeah. And Jason Mansukas was there, like, who I just met that week filming with me on the Good Place. And I was a huge fan of his, and I was just screaming, and he didn't know what was happening, happening. I think he thought I was having, like, a mental health episode. And then I clung to him, like, hiding and not understanding why he's being so brave standing up to this big, toothy. And that was a really bad time. And then the second time, I was at, like, this really fancy, like, hotel, and my friend had given me mushrooms. And this time, I knew what I was doing, and I was like, this is loads of nature. It was like San Ysidro Ranch. It was, like, super beautiful. I'm, like, walking slowly. I'm. You know, it takes, like, about an hour to get up this tiny little hill that I think is, like, a mountain. Me and my friends were talking about, like, we're acting like we're in, like, Everest, the movie. And then I see that, like, James or date one of the Franco brothers is there. And I was like, he can't know that I'm high. I don't want him to. I don't want anyone in the business to know that I've taken drugs because I'd never taken drugs before. I was like, no one can know. And so I think I'm walking, like, really straight up. And I was like, I just think I'm being so. I'm like, act normal. Act cool. I'm like, okay, maybe I'm gonna hunch my shoulders, because otherwise it looks too formal. I was like, I'll be casual. I'm gonna look so casual. And what I didn't know is that I bent fully over, walking like Lurch, walking like the dead. And my poor friend, who's trying to carry me through looks like he's given me date rape drugs and is, like, escorting me opposite of what I thought. So, like, James or Dave Franco, whichever one it was, was there, looking, being like, well, that woman is about to get molested. But yeah, that's very, very, very, very embarrassing.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Did you ever find out which. Which brother.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, I don't give a shit. But either way. Yeah.

[Ron Funches]

One of them was like, let me get in on that. Leave that joke alone. I don't care how it goes.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lowe's Commercial Announcer]

The audience heard it.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Oh, my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's why I beep, beep, reversed out that joke. That's where your brain would go.

[Ron Funches]

Hilarious.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know.

[Ron Funches]

Like, what's going on here?

[Jameela Jamil]

So horrifically embarrassing to do a ginormous at a Hollywood party. That is one of my true nightmares.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Oh, my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

To have that as, like, especially around comedians.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

My God, what a risk you took with your.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah. Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Also a terrible place to take mushrooms. Yeah. Somewhere that surreal with a petting zoo. Like, mental. You fly way too close to the sun.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, I've done that before. I mean, I've taken mushrooms on planes before, which is not a good.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

What happens.

[Ron Funches]

Sometimes a lot of fun. Sometimes it feels like time travel because you just wake up and you're there like that. But then other times, you scare a whole row of people that are sitting by you. And they. They start. I upset on a plane, and I took this sucker. And I had never been on a plane like this, where I get back and I'm thinking, I'm gonna get my seat. My seat's in the middle in the back of the plane. There's two friends who know each other on one side and two on the other. All four of these women know each other, and I'm in the middle between them, and I'm taking these drugs on this plane because I'm like, we're gonna have fun. Didn't realize how strong they were. I just. And I just hear them, like. And then at a certain point, they just stop talking, and they just are looking at me, and I realize, like, oh, I'm way higher than I should ever be on a plane because I'm scaring these women.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Oh, my God, the stories.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, yeah. Mushrooms are a fucking nightmare. Like, I told my friend way too many truths about his girlfriend when I was on mushrooms. Like, I. They did end up breaking up, so I was about to say, fucking right. But, yeah, he was thinking about having babies with her, and I gave him all my opinions and then had no memory of doing this. And then James, my boyfriend, had taken them, and he's like, super tall and just thinks he's just so great that drugs can't touch him. He was like, well, I don't feel a thing. You know, we were all like rolling around laughing. He was like, yeah, I just don't think drugs really, like, have an impact on me. I'm really tall. I'm quite fit. Like, he was like, I just don't think it's. Meanwhile, had sent 200 pictures of the same rose to our flatmate. So. Oh, no. Yeah. No, you seem fine.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah, you're fine.

[Jameela Jamil]

Cause I know this is really beautiful. I just felt it from another angle. It's a very humiliating time. You're very smart. I never have taken it. Yes, I am. Yeah. Eleven and a half years later, like,

[Ron Funches]

I mean, even when I saw her face, when she did the face and I saw him, I was like, handsome.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Thank you. I'm really good at emanating him.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I've never taken hard drugs because I'm like, I want to wait till like my 80s and then I'm turning up.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

That's probably a good time to do it.

[Ron Funches]

You just remind me that I drugged my mom on accident.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did you? You drugged your mom?

[Ron Funches]

Accident happened, yeah. Because I had some shroom gummies out on my table and I went on the road. She thought they were regular gummies. We're a gummy loving household. And so she saw gummies and she was like, I want to try them. They say peach mango on them. I want to try them. And then she called me later. It was just really funny because I've been divorced a couple times and my mom has always been like, don't worry about it. Like you. She's like, I'm divorced. I don't even look for love. And then she was like, like, she's like, I knew something was wrong, cuz I was laying in bed crying, go, why doesn't anyone love me?

[Garcelle Beauvais]

My mama. I know.

[Lowe's Commercial Announcer]

And I was like, you want love?

[Ron Funches]

You liar. My mom does have a couple boyfriends now, so love.

[Jameela Jamil]

It could have shifted something.

[Ron Funches]

I think it did.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my goodness. Look at us changing lives.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, I do like them. Yeah. One of them is like my driver. So I'm like, don't. I feel like I shouldn't have to pay for the driving.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wait, wait, wait. Did he become. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

I cannot.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sorry. Did he. Was he your driver first who then met your mom and then they fell in love? Who instigated that? Your mom, obviously.

[Ron Funches]

I don't know who instigated.

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, she would have had it be unprofessional for him to do it. And also she's had like, yeah, she said mushrooms. Like, she's going for it.

[Leon Neyfak]

Now?

[Ron Funches]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh my God. Now he's still your driver. That's so strange.

[Ron Funches]

I think she's the side chick on it. I don't want to put her business out there.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah. No, no, no, no. Oh my God. Sorry.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh my God. We're going to go to a break.

[Lowe's Commercial Announcer]

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[Jameela Jamil]

And we're back. You two have been such a joy and such a delight. There's been so much chaos, I've overshared. It's gotten weird. But before we go, we have a section called Misery Loves Company where our wonderful, wonderful listeners send in their own horror stories. This one's from Violet. She says, I was working on a comedy website that had offices in New York and Los Angeles and my counterpart in LA asked what my team was working on. He was on speaker, but I assumed he. He was the only one on the other end. Oh, no. Our team had just discovered the website lemonparty.org do you remember this? Do you remember this?

[Ron Funches]

I know it's naughty. I know it's naughty.

[Jameela Jamil]

The main page is three 90 year old men, like naked, blowing each other.

[Ron Funches]

Oh.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's a site that once you see, you never forget. Like it was what you would like. The routine for millennials was to change, especially in England, each other's homepage to Lemon Party on, like people's family computers. Yeah, we're bad people. We have a horrible history. But do you remember the one? It's like, it's so sexually, like, explicit. So she shared the image, going for the room laugh and heard what must have been 20 to 30 people screaming. It felt traumatic. It turned out the entire executive team was asking for a progress report and he neglected to tell me. And somehow she didn't get fired. Oh, she still has a job. Still had a fucking job.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Good for you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Undeserved. What a crazy swing to take. But what a legend. And also, I love any fan of Lemon Party. I still make it people's homepages now, whenever I can. It's just so distressing.

[Ron Funches]

Yeah, it's super nice.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's super filthy. It was the original before Two Girls, one cup. Oh, Lemon Party was like the original of that and then it got replaced. Anyway, don't come to England because we are fucking disgusting. I bet Violet is English. Before you go, will you tell everyone where they can find you? Garcelle?

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Sure. On Instagram. Arcel. Like Cher, Madonna. One one name.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, and absolutely, absolutely iconic. And is there anything you want people to watch or listen to?

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Please get my audible. Protecting my piece at all costs. It's only three hours and five minutes. It's not very long, but it's really juicy.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes, indeed. I mean, you've had a crazy fucking life.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Yeah, I've done a lot. It's been really, really, really interesting ride, honestly.

[Jameela Jamil]

And you're only at like the first chapter, so like we're just.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Ah, bless you.

[Jameela Jamil]

There's more to go.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

Bless you.

[Jameela Jamil]

There's more to go. No, I mean everyone's taking nad. We're never gonna die, even if we're desperate to die.

[Garcelle Beauvais]

That's true.

[Jameela Jamil]

Ron, what about you? Where can people find you what you

[Ron Funches]

want them to see on Instagram? Ron Also just you gotta put funches afterwards.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's a weird Instagram glitch. We're trying to figure it out.

[Ron Funches]

It's almost like they got the one name thing, but you just put in some, some of the others and you'll get there. Ronches.com I'm always on the road. I am coming to the UK to do shows in London, in Cardiff, in Manchester, and then going to Netherlands to do a show in Amsterdam this summer. So Ronches.com I'll be everywhere. New York, Boston. So just come see me.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank you so much. I appreciate you both. This was hilarious. Rob Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo of your own wrong turns. All you have to do is email personal disaster. Storiesmail.com youm can find full length videos of our episodes on YouTube. And don't forget to subscribe, like review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends about us. And if you are also enjoying me as a person, I have a substack. It's called a low desire to please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna fuck off now.

[Ron Funches]

Bye.

[Leon Neyfak]

I'm Leon Nayfak, best known as the co creator of Slow Burn and Fiasco. I had of course heard of OnlyFans, but always with a distant and quiet skepticism. A silent judgment, you might say. Who is actually using this platform?

[Jameela Jamil]

Um, I am.

[Gracie Kanan]

Hi, I'm Onlyfans creator and comedian Gracie Kanan. I work from home now, I'm on OnlyFans. And in case you guys don't know what OnlyFans is, ask your husband.

[Leon Neyfak]

My journalistic curiosity got the best of me when I found out that my own sister had started an OnlyFans account.

[Gracie Kanan]

I'm not his sister.

[Leon Neyfak]

Just to clarify, it turns out a lot of what I thought I knew about OnlyFans was wrong.

[Ron Funches]

I felt like I wasted 3.5 years for something that wasn't real.

[Gracie Kanan]

What happens when connection comes with a price tag? Listen to OnlyFantasy wherever you get your podcasts or binge all episodes of Only Fantasy Ad free right now only on Audible. Start your Audible subscription in the Audible app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Lowe's Commercial Announcer]

Yep, he's planning another project. So this Father's Day at Lowe's, tap into free gifts for dad. Get a free select Craftsman Power Tool when you buy a Craftsman V20 charger with 2amp hour and 4amp hour batteries. Plus get a free Dewalt power tool when you buy a select 20 volt max XR 4amp hour battery kit. Dad knows our best lineup is here at Lowe's, valid through 714, while supplies last selection varies by location.