Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Episode: Guy Branum and X Mayo
Release Date: March 5, 2026

Episode Overview

In this raucous episode of "Wrong Turns," host Jameela Jamil invites celebrated comedians and writers Guy Branum and X Mayo to spill their most mortifying, undignified, or outright disastrous personal stories. The conversation is shamelessly candid, delightfully irreverent, and refuses to search for silver linings—this show is all about reveling in ordeal and embarrassment, with dignity gleefully left at the door.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

Warm Reunions & Show Intros

• [01:42] Introduction to guests Guy Branum and X Mayo, with shoutouts to their impressive comedy résumés.
• Nostalgic reflection on how Jameela and Guy first met, including a story about meeting the Queen (and Jameela marveling at Her Majesty's "titty game").
  • Jameela: "Her titty game was crazy. Crazy." (03:03)
  • X Mayo: "Think about me. Great humanities. Literally, Literally. Literally." (02:49)

Embracing Disaster vs. Chasing Dignity

• [06:12] Jameela asks: Are you someone who seeks disaster or someone who avoids it?
  • X Mayo admits she's risk-averse and methodical: “If Jamila says, like, don't touch that, you will burn. I'm not gonna touch it... Give me all of the context and then allow me to make the decision.” (06:12-06:28)
  • Guy: Embraces the chaos, but wants to do the ‘book learning’ first. On being a gay man in the modern era:
    • “I'm very much a book learning person... but I want to book learn as much as I can before I go into something... but waves come, and those waves are going to take you somewhere.” (07:55)
  • On sexual attitudes, X Mayo shares her reluctance to casual hookups for health and emotional reasons.
    • “I really wish I had the tenacity of a slut.” (07:04)
    • Jameela: "I won't kiss before three months." (07:18)

Micro Wrong Turns: School Days & Email Blunders

Guy Branum’s Fifth Grade and Law School Disasters

• [08:40]
  • As a kid, Guy naively asked his teacher—publicly—what a wet dream was (after reading Judy Blume).
    • “I marched up to the front of my combination fifth and sixth grade class and asked my teacher, Mrs. Tomlinson, what a wet dream was... the entire class laughed at me.” (09:24)
• [10:37]
  • Depressed and newly out in law school, Guy developed an intense crush, then sent an epic, embarrassing 11-page “meltdown” email to everyone in his address book, including professors.
    • Jameela: "Is it like, this is your 13th reason?" (12:11)
    • Guy: “I was just like, I'm going through it. The world must know.” (11:47)
    • On the fallout: "Minnesotans don't know how to deal with big emotions..." (13:39)
    • Observations on regional culture clashes: "Californians will hug you but not help you, and Minnesotans will help you but not hug you." (14:27)

X Mayo’s TSA Tales: Entourage Outrage

• [20:04]

  • X Mayo shares her stint working for TSA at LAX—she was "drunk with power" at 22, enforcing rules on celebrities and their entourages.

  • On Joe Jackson's intimidating entourage: “We thought it was fucking Louis Farrakhan... take all that shit off!” (21:08)

  • The absurdity of celebrity demands and the real attitude of entourages vs. the celebrities themselves.

    • “It's always the entourage. It's never the people.” (22:49)
    • On Chaka Khan’s team: "They were just trying to grasp at anything. It was just like, oh, this is racist. Oh, you doing this? Cause I'm big or you do this? I said, girl, I'm big. What are you talking about?" (22:52)

  • Weed & Urkel: Once found a film canister of weed with a Steve Urkel sticker saying, "Did I do that?" (24:21)

  • The power TSA staff wield over rude passengers and celebrities:

    • “Don't fuck with me. And if you're nice to me, I'm nice to you.” (25:25)
    • Jameela on traveling easy: “I travel in, like, a diaper with Velcro...I never get recalled. My bag never gets checked.” (26:51)

Jameela’s Interviewing Days and Celebrity Riders

• [27:10]

  • “I'll never forget JLo's entourage... They asked for like, 36 Jo Malone candles. Like, what are we gonna barbecue JLo?” (27:41)
  • The legend of Zane Lowe stockpiling champagne from event riders (29:16)

• On how "the guy next to the guy" (the entourage) causes the most issues, with speculation on celebrity awareness of their team's antics (29:44-30:09).

Notable Quote

• Jameela: “It's crazy to be rude to anyone at the airport. A, just don't be a cunt. But B… the amount of power they have just to stop you from getting on the plane. Who do you think you are?” (26:30)

The Big Wrong Turn Stories

Guy’s European Adventure Gone Wrong

• [37:00]
  • Guy takes his first trip to Europe, eats a solo fancy dinner at an Amsterdam restaurant—then, caught in a snowstorm, suddenly needs a bathroom. Unable to find one open, he soils himself.
  • On the aftermath: “A block after it happened, I turned a corner and come face to face with just a mid-40s Amsterdam street whore who looks me in the eyes and says, 'Are you okay?'” (40:08)
  • He recovers, cleans up, and goes out clubbing anyway.
  • Jameela: “There's nothing sadder to me than going on this idyllic, beautiful, like, movie, like, walk and then just shitting your pants.” (43:24)
  • Guy: "I will not go gentle into that good night... This is what you do." (43:05)

X Mayo’s Virginity Story

• [43:38]

  • “I lost my virginity on a palette on the floor during a Mike Epps special.” (43:40)
    • She describes the confusion and shame: “So I seen that it was blood. And I was like, wow, I'm going to hell. This is the day I go to hell. And the man was uncircumcised. And Mike Epps had just did a joke about men being uncircumcised. So I was like, wow, this is really life imitating art.” (43:52)
    • Drove home in tears, blasting gospel music as a form of penance.
    • Reveals it remains one of her only penetrative sexual experiences.
  • Jameela shares her first time was interrupted by a harrowing PSA about unlicensed minicabs on Spotify:
    • “I dried up. Like when a tsunami, like, pulls the water away.” (47:45)

• On cultural differences regarding sex and intimacy ("In France...all sexual acts [are] having sex" — 45:12), and why penetration is so emotionally significant.

• X Mayo: “Sex is a distraction. Men are a distraction. I'm not fucking doing it.” (46:20)

Audience Disasters: "Misery Loves Company"

Kim's Christmas Vibrator Story

• [49:33]
  • Listener Kim’s child opens a vibrator on Christmas morning, thinking it’s a toothbrush. Quick thinking by Kim’s wife defuses the moment: “Sometimes Santa makes mistakes. And that is actually my toothbrush.” (50:49)

On TSA and Sex Toys

• X Mayo and Guy Branum riff on the frequency of vibrators discovered at security.

  • “Dildo is a toothbrush for a vagina.” – X Mayo (51:57)
  • Guy: “It's a magic wand with another separate magic wand that comes off of it. To do other magic.” (52:07)

• Guy on trying to take his niece into a woman-owned sex shop to empower her, but she refuses.

  • Jameela: “Anyone who doesn't know you or your sexual orientation would be like, who is this man trying to convince this little girl to go into [the shop]?” (52:42)

Memorable & Humorous Quotes

• On British/American warmth:
  • Jameela: “He asked me, 'Got any Easter plans?' And in my little vile London brain, I was like, fuck off.” (15:53)
• On NYC directness:
  • X Mayo: “They were like, you're too fucking nice. You need to relax. Somebody's gonna rob you.” (14:33)
• On celebrity entourages:
  • “Oh, you’re the guy next to the guy. That’s why you’re acting like that.” – X Mayo (29:52)
• Guy’s mistaken celebrity encounter:
  • Thought Alan Ruck was Ed Norton and Gawker’d him for being rude. Only realized the error when seeing Ferris Bueller’s Day Off the next day.
  • “Oh, guy, you were the asshole. You were the asshole.” (34:15)
• Unexpected item in bagging area:
  • During sex gone wrong: “I said unexpected item in bagging area.” – Jameela (49:21)

Guest Plugs

• Guy Branum:
  @guybranham (all socials except TikTok: @guybranhamcomedy);
  Solo show “Be Fruitful” at Netflix is a Joke festival on May 9 (53:15)
• X Mayo:
  @80dollarsinasuitcase on Instagram
  Appearing in “Scrubs” reboot (Feb 25), “Wonder Man” Marvel series (Jan 27), and sold CBS show about working TSA—“keep us in prayer as we go through that process!” (53:15)

Notable Segment Timestamps

• [01:42] – Start of main show, guest intros
• [06:12] – Disaster vs. dignity debate
• [08:40] – Guy’s school-era embarrassing questions
• [10:37] – Guy’s law school meltdown & infamous email
• [20:04] – X Mayo’s TSA horror stories (Joe Jackson, Chaka Khan, weed with Steve Urkel sticker)
• [26:30] – Power and attitude dynamics at airports
• [27:10] – Jameela’s tales about celebrity rider requests (JLo, Zane Lowe)
• [37:00] – Guy’s “big wrong turn”: Amsterdam misadventure
• [43:38] – X Mayo’s “big wrong turn”: Losing virginity during a Mike Epps special
• [49:33] – Misery Loves Company: Audience disaster story
• [51:25] – TSA and sex toy discoveries

Tone & Energy

The episode is mischievous, honest, and uproariously funny. No story is too cringy to share, and embarrassment is actively celebrated. The guests volley supportive reactions, witty asides, and self-deprecating humor, while Jameela keeps the atmosphere light, frank, and affectionately mocking.

Summary

If you’ve ever suffered an embarrassing mishap and worried you were alone, this episode is your proof: even some of the funniest, most successful people have stories—sometimes about public email overshares, soiling oneself in a foreign country, or accidentally gifting sex toys to children. For Jameela, Guy, and X, humiliation is a communal sport; as they say, on “Wrong Turns” there are no silver linings, only great stories and even better company.