Jessimae Peluso and Justin Martindale

Summary

Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Episode: Jessimae Peluso and Justin Martindale
Release Date: January 1, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this uproarious and unfiltered episode of "Wrong Turns," Jameela Jamil welcomes comedians Jessimae Peluso and Justin Martindale to swap their most humiliating, disastrous, and downright wild personal stories. As the show promises, there's no redemption or moral—just hilarious commiseration and an enthusiastic embrace of life’s epic fails. Expect deeply personal tales of dating, friendships, wild misunderstandings, and (literal) hiding in bushes—all told with biting candor and comic flair.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Dynamic Friendships & Attracting Disaster

• Jameela introduces both guests, highlighting their comedic work and enduring friendship.
• Jessimae and Justin describe their relationship: supporting each other through thick and thin, crying together, traveling, and keeping each other’s darkest secrets.
  • “She's been my mom. I've met her parents. Like, we've hung out, I've cried, spent the night. We've cried.” – Justin (01:59)
• Both joke about being people around whom “death follows” and tease each other about being disaster magnets.
  • “I like that saying. You attract what you are. So, am I a coping mechanism for narcissists and the mentally ill of LA? ... Yes, I am.” – Jessimae (02:49)

2. Justin’s Wrong Turns: Embarrassing Mishaps & Awkward Truths

• The Spring Break Blowjob Nap:

  • Justin recounts a classic college fiasco: passed out drunk during his girlfriend’s first-ever blowjob, waking up to a friend trying to revive him and his mortified girlfriend dressing him while he slept.
  • “Sorry, you fell asleep during a blowjob.” – Jameela (05:38)
  • “That's the gayest thing ever.” – Jessimae (05:41)
  • “She put on my clothes while I was asleep because I was naked.” – Justin (06:19)

• The Friend’s Girlfriend Secret:

  • Justin describes recognizing a friend’s now-spouse while on tour—one with whom he learns there’s more to the story.
  • Upon sending a photo to his friend, he receives a terse “crazy!” in response and realizes he’s uncovered something unspoken (08:47).
  • The situation sours the friendship with unspoken suspicion and sideswipes him into awkward quasi-family drama, especially at a Palm Springs gathering—
    • “Please don’t fuck my dad.” – Friend’s spouse (10:22)
    • “Your dad’s a four, okay? ... Mr. Magoo is not my kink.” – Justin (10:36, 10:41)
  • Bursting with comic deflection, Justin continues to find himself at the nexus of his friends’ most bizarre, awkward moments.

3. Jessimae’s Wrong Turn: The Dangerous Relationship

• A Walking Red Flag Mistaken for a Soulmate
  • Jessimae shares a harrowing yet darkly funny account of dating a man with “BPD, PTSD, and alcoholism”—unaware at first she’d scooped the “DSM-5.”
  • “If you can imagine just an exciting thriller...directed by my poor judgment and produced by my childhood trauma.” – Jessimae (12:18)
  • She describes ignoring massive red flags, joking, “Yeah, I thought it was a theme park...Six Flags Gaslight Kingdom.” (14:10)
  • The relationship devolves into erratic behavior—her boyfriend shows up unannounced at gigs, asks to be put on her utility bills, and spins a web of contradictions and lies (15:17-15:25).
  • The breaking point:
    • He stalks her building, lurking in the hallway window. Jessimae calls Justin for backup.
    • “He was standing in the hallway just in the dark, staring into my condo. No. And I was like, oh, damn. This is—This is how I go.” (16:55)
  • Justin, half-naked and fresh out of the shower, ends up hiding “nuts out, just in a bush,” evading the ex (18:12, 18:22).
  • The ordeal results in restraining orders, changed locks, and a hard-won lesson: “If a guy arrives with emotional baggage, I don't need to pick it up... Leave that emotional baggage in the airport because it's not for you to travel with.” – Jessimae (19:30-19:46)
  • Both process the event’s trauma, with Jameela applauding their ability to maintain humor.

4. Listener Story: Nose Ring Disaster (21:45)

• Jameela shares a news story about a woman in Indonesia getting her nose ring stuck in her office chair mesh, culminating in a “chainsaw-wielding” firefighter rescue.
  • “She was sitting backward in the chair with her face stuck in the mesh like a bat caught in the net.” - Jameela (22:01)
  • Jessimae jokes: “After my last situation, I was desperate to meet a firefighter and I thought that was the only way I could.” (23:04)

5. Reflecting on Chaos, Resilience, and Friendship

• Despite traumatic or wild experiences, all three use comedy both as a coping mechanism and as solidarity.
• Jessimae announces her new podcast rebranding, focusing on grief survival—turning her experiences into relatable guidance.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Disaster Attraction (02:49):

  “Am I a coping mechanism for narcissists and the mentally ill of LA? The answer is yes. I went on a date recently...I could see the spaces between his teeth from the hostess stand.” – Jessimae

• On Humiliating Mistakes (06:44):

  “You took her mouth virginity?” – Jessimae
  “Yeah… Still got it.” – Justin

• On Red Flags (12:18):

  “I mistook a walking red flag for a soulmate, okay?... directed by my poor judgment and produced by my childhood trauma.” – Jessimae

• On Dating the DSM-5 (13:11):

  “I didn't know when I met him that he had BPD, PTSD, and alcoholism. So I was like basically dating, you know, the DSM 5, I think.” – Jessimae

• On Friendship & Emergency Bush Diving (18:22):

  “So I'm in a full towel, nuts out, just in a bush. Dream big, kids.” – Justin

• Learning from Chaos (19:46):

  “If a guy arrives with emotional baggage, I don't need to pick it up... Leave that emotional baggage in the airport because it's not for you to travel with.” – Jessimae

• True Crime Comedy Pivot (16:59):

  “I can't believe this went from a comedy podcast to now true crime.” – Jameela

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Important Timestamps

• 00:40 – Episode opens; guest introductions & friendship banter
• 02:49 – Jessimae on attracting toxic people & “Stonehenge mouth” date
• 04:09 – Justin’s humiliating college story (spring break blowjob nap)
• 07:07 – Justin’s main “wrong turn” (friend’s girlfriend’s secret)
• 10:22 – “Please don’t fuck my dad” anecdote
• 12:18 – Jessimae’s “Walking red flag” relationship story begins
• 13:11 – “Dating the DSM-5”
• 15:17 – Boyfriend wants to be added to the electrical bill
• 16:55 – Stalking incident, Justin’s “bush dive” rescue
• 19:46 – Jessimae’s lesson on emotional baggage
• 21:45 – Nose ring stuck in the office chair: listener story & banter
• 24:28 – Jessimae’s new podcast announcement & charitable work
• 25:11 – Justin’s tour and podcast plug

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Where to Find the Guests

• Jessimae Peluso

  • Podcast: Sharp Tongue (soon to be Dying Laughing, a grief survival guide)
  • Tour: Jessimae.com
  • Charity: Portion of ticket sales to Alzheimer’s Association and Seth Rogen’s Hilarity for Charity

• Justin Martindale

  • Podcast: Just Saying with Justin Martindale (weekly on YouTube and audio)
  • Tour Info: On his Instagram @justinmartindale

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Tone & Takeaway

The show’s irreverent tone never wavers—even as stories navigate genuinely dark or traumatic ground. Self-deprecating humor, mutual support, and catharsis through laughter define this episode.
“Wrong Turns” is a raucous celebration not of redemption, but of survival—and the comedy and kinship forged by shared misfortune.

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For more disaster tales or to submit your own:
Email: [e-mail]
Listen to more on Amazon Music or podcast platforms.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello, everyone, and welcome to Wrong Turns. This is a podcast where we celebrate disaster and not for the great silver linings that you're supposed to get out of everything. Sometimes life just fucking sucks. And so that's why we're here. We're here to celebrate and commiserate with one another. My guest today, I have a comedian, a writer from shows like the funny dance show Huluween Drama Extravaganza and his special gay Bash. He hosts the podcast Just Saying. It's bloody Justin Martindale.

[C]

You didn't know your own credits. Oh, yeah, I have done stuff. I've worked.

[B]

And joining him is the stunning comedian, writer and host known for Girl Code, Tattoo Redo and Surviving Paradise. She's toured the world entertaining troops with the USO and hosts her mental health podcast Sharp Tongue in is Jess Mae Palooza. Hello. Thank you. You are the two most beautifully podcast guests I have ever had in my entire life of podcasting.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

Happy accident. We arrived coordinated.

[D]

We're auditioning for White Lotus season four.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

We would like that just to be filmed in our living rooms, if that could be.

[D]

We brought her own Lorazepam.

[B]

Honestly, this is just so divine. You look so wonderful. For anyone who's not. Who's not looking.

[D]

I shaved for you, I think.

[B]

Incredible. And you two have been friends for a long time, right?

[D]

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[B]

But I'm sensing you're actually, like, there through thick and thin.

[C]

I love him.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

She's been my mom. I've met her parents. Like, we've hung out, I've cried, spent the night. We've cried.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Traveled together, went to lunch after this.

[B]

And so you've gone through, I imagine, some of life's disasters together as a team.

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

He knows dark secrets.

[D]

And so does she.

[B]

Oh, this is so.

[C]

There's a lot of death around us.

[D]

Anything could happen. The light just, like, hits us in.

[B]

The head, suddenly it's the shining. And that's why the two of you dressed like this.

[D]

Listen to Our new podcast, Final Destination.

[B]

And so would you say that you both are people who attract disaster?

[D]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm in the season of self awareness, sis.

[B]

Yeah. Do you. Do you concur with her sexual vortex? Do you think that disaster is drawn to her? Do you think she's drawn to disaster?

[C]

I like that saying. You attract what you are. So it's like, am I a coping mechanism for narcissists and the mentally ill of la? The answer is y. Yes, I am. I am. I went on a date recently and this guy showed up. I could see the spaces between his teeth from the hostess stand. And I mean that with love. Yeah, everyone has a different mouth. I just don't want the inside to look like Stonehenge, you know? It's a place I want to visit.

[B]

No, that's fine. Don't come to England fair.

[D]

No one likes a druid mouth.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I saw the wind whistling between his teeth, and I got to the table and he had BO he was already sweating. It was a noon date. I'm like, you're for sure married. Then he told me about the book he wanted to write that was about him being a life coach. And I was like, well, first, why don't we start with hygiene in your own personal life? And he kept grabbing me and touching me. He palmed my head like it was a basketball. It was noon. And I was like.

[B]

What is your normal sort of time that you would prefer such an act?

[C]

Like after 7:00pm, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I'm getting a sense. I always just. In this part of the podcast, I just like to kind of get a sense of what you deem disaster, how your lens through which you look at it. I know that you are not. Even though you are a very handsome, perfect specimen of a human being who claims that disaster doesn't find you. You're not completely immune to humiliations.

[D]

Oh, no. I'm like, where do I even begin? So I grew up in Texas and very conservative, and, like, the big thing for spring break was you go to South Padre island and you get, you know, just kind of shit faced. And my friends and I, we all got like this condo and everybody went to Mexico. I had my girlfriend at the time. What that. Leaving my mouth.

[B]

Wait, wait, hold on, wait.

[C]

Can't we just revisit that?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you not know?

[C]

I knew he had. He. I knew he had entered the waters. It was a life. I chose to swamp the swamp. Yeah, you have to, you know.

[D]

You know, you have to, like, kind of gaslight Everyone, before you, like, dream.

[B]

For sure, you have to try to know what you do in the middle.

[D]

Give it another go. Here we go. And, like, everyone was like, we're gonna go to Mexico, and you guys just stay behind. And we were like, great. And my girlfriend at the time was like, great, we have the whole place to ourselves. And I was like, mmm, I can't wait. I wish everyone would just leave now. And so we just got drunk, and we started, like, making out.

[C]

Oh, my God, Justin.

[D]

And then we took off all of our clothes. And then the next thing I knew, she was going down on me. But the next thing I knew, I woke up to my friend over me being like, dude, what's up? What's going on?

[B]

And I'm like, sorry, you fell asleep during a blowjob.

[C]

That's the gayest thing ever.

[B]

That is the gayest thing I've ever heard. But also, how long was it going on for? Like, who cares?

[D]

You just sucked. Literally.

[B]

But did you. It sounds like it didn't, but did you pass out from stress? What was this?

[D]

I think I was just like, go to a good place, Justin. Go to a good place.

[C]

Go to a good place.

[D]

Follow the light, Carol Ann. Yeah, it was literally like, just, shush, shush. Just let it happen. Just let it happen. Shh, shh, shh. And so I woke up, and he's like, you, girlfriend's on the beach crying. And I'm like, what? And I look and I am completely dressed again. She put on my clothes while I was asleep because I was naked. When.

[C]

That's really thoughtful. That's thoughtful.

[D]

That's a good Christian girl.

[C]

A very good. And also, it must be a hefty one because you're a tall guy.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

How would she manage to get those pants?

[D]

I want to see that. I want to see the. Oh, like, just.

[C]

Did you just.

[D]

And so I went outside. I was like, oh, my God. What happened? What happened? She's crying. She's like, I've never done that before. And I was like, oh, my God. That's my favorite game to play with straight guys.

[C]

You took her mouth virginity?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Still got it.

[C]

Good for you.

[D]

Yeah. So that was humiliating. And then that. That summer, I don't know who got.

[B]

More humiliated in that story.

[D]

She was more humiliated, but I was.

[C]

Mortified because that happened to someone and.

[B]

Everyone found out about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice. Not nice.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, let's get into your. Your major. Your major story.

[D]

My major? Ick.

[B]

Tell me. No, my major. What is your main wrong turn?

[D]

So my wrong turn deals with knowing something that I shouldn't have known. I was friends with this person who is in the same field with us, and I've known them for years, you know, friends forever. And I was on the road doing shows with a friend of mine. I think I believe I was in Texas. And we were at a bar afterwards, and this woman came up to me. She was asked, oh, you, Justin Martinow? I'm like, oh, yeah? Yeah. She's like, oh, do you know so. And so I'm like, yeah, of course. You know, one of my best friends. And then asked me if I knew their girlfriend at the time who is now their spouse. And I was like, oh, yeah, I do. And they were like. I looked at this person. I was like, wait, do you know this person?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And she looks at me, she goes, oh, I know this person. And so I was like, oh, really?

[B]

Hmm.

[D]

Interesting.

[B]

And when did you get to know this person?

[C]

What did you do? Were your clothes on?

[D]

What are the details? And so I already not really liking this person because I just thought there was, like, a.

[B]

You had an instinct.

[D]

I'm looking out for my friend. There's been a couple red flags in the past that I'm like, hmm. I am like, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna let this bitch know. And so I take a picture, send it to this person.

[B]

Wait, with.

[D]

With the. With the person who said hi to me. Send it. And I'm like, oh, my God, look who I ran into in Texas. And the response I get is crazy, exclamation point.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And that's when I knew I fucked up.

[B]

Okay. Why? What happened?

[D]

Just because it just kind of. From then on, there was, like, a weird tension because now this person knows that I know something, and I can't tell my friend because that's not my business, you know? But now I'm looking at this person going, I see you, and I'm looking out for my friend.

[B]

And is that, like, a palpable vibe between you now?

[D]

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. So then, couple years later, this is years down the road, and that now they're. They're married. And, like, we were in Palm Springs, I was doing a show, and we all went out after the show, and they had gotten married during COVID and it was a small ceremony, and then they had a big party later on. But this is before the party, and we were out having drinks, and this said person had brought their dad, who was probably in their 70s. And I was told that this old man recently came out late in life as gay.

[B]

Oh, cute.

[D]

Very cute. You know, just like, oh, wow, good for you. Like, you probably haven't hung out with a bunch of people like me before because you've been closeted and living in shame your whole life. And very generous, very sweet man. We're laughing, we're catching up, you know, and he decides that he's going to go get us another round of drinks. He's, like, rubbing my arm, you know, rubbing his shoulders.

[B]

Oh, fucking course he is. Look at you.

[D]

Oh, thank you.

[C]

Little grand gay trying to get some young gay in his life.

[B]

Yeah, I love it.

[D]

So I made the joke of, like, looking at the two of them and being like, so how do you guys feel about the term stepdad? And she looks me dead in the eyes, no joke, and is like, please don't fuck my dad. And I'm like, what? First of all, your dad's a four, Okay? I don't have time. I don't have time for this, like, Midwest turtle person. Very sweet, but Mr. Magoo is not my kink. Just because you think I'm into daddies, like, thanks, but also, like, ew.

[B]

Yeah, you want a zaddy?

[D]

You're welcome. You're looking at me right now. You know what I mean? You want some? Yeah. This is called a glow up, okay? This is your motivation, Peepaw.

[B]

I'm the off to pick.

[D]

Yeah. Meanwhile, please don't have sex with my dad. Get out of here.

[B]

Oh, my God, What a fucking story. And we will be right back after the break.

[A]

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[B]

We'Re coming back in.

[C]

Midwest Turtle people.

[D]

Midwest Turtle people.

[C]

I'm gonna never get that image out of my mind.

[B]

This feels like a great place to come back. Midwest turtle people. Jesus Christ. That did not come from me. All right, Jessamy, what was your wrong turn? What happened, my love?

[C]

I mistook a walking red flag for a soulmate, okay? And it Basically was a movie. It was like, if you can imagine, just an exciting thriller, you know, a real amazing thriller, directed by my poor judgment and produced by my childhood trauma. Edge of your seat thriller. Oh, God.

[B]

Do we need a trigger warning?

[C]

Oh, yeah, trigger warning.

[D]

For sure, for sure, for sure. For me.

[C]

I'm gonna spiral into a panic attack. I haven't told this story in detail. Justin is involved in this story.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Basically, I met this man, and he was at a show with a girlfriend. Well, a girl he was on a date with. Wasn't a girlfriend. And I was like, oh, he's cute. And he abandoned her. And we started to talk and started a romance.

[B]

That's a lovely sign.

[C]

It was a great sign. Yeah. He was on a first date. He's like, I'm not interested in her. I want to talk to you. And I was like, okay, cool.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

So we started this, like, distance, long distance romance. And I didn't know when I met him that he had bpd, ptsd, and alcoholism. So I was, like, basically dating, you know, the DSM 5, I think.

[B]

I also dated this man.

[C]

Girl, he might be the same guy.

[D]

And I tried to fuck him.

[B]

And his dad.

[D]

Do it again.

[C]

The whole family got a piece of this. With this person. I didn't need a boyfriend. Like, I needed a team of clinicians and a priest from the Exorcist.

[A]

Who knew?

[C]

Yeah. Who knew? I wasn't prepared. No one's prepared for when you deal with somebody who has, like, borderline personality disorder and a dash of PTSD and addiction. There's no one. Even therapists aren't prepared for that.

[B]

No, no, no. No.

[C]

Way over my pay grade. So I'm like, oh, let me date him more. But I didn't really know what was going on. It sort of like, unfolded and it started.

[B]

It's one of those, I can save.

[C]

Him, you know, not that I can save him. I'm more like. You know, I think about, like, my friends. Like, didn't you see any red flags? Yeah, I thought it was a theme park, you know, like Six Flags Gaslight Kingdom. I love a roller coaster, especially emotional one.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Keep me on it. You know, it's. It's not so much to save him.

[B]

It's like the challenge by the nice guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the nice guys.

[C]

And I'm by the way, if there are any nice rich men watching, I'm way over that. So if you want to just slide.

[B]

Into a nice lilac.

[C]

Way over this. Yes. Beyond this. At this point, it got to the point where he was just showing up on the weekends at my. At my shows unannounced. And normally that's romantic. Like, girls would love that. Like a guy just showing up and being like, chivalrous and romantic once or twice, but like every weekend and then having these, like, little weird, erratic behaviors, you know, it got to the point where he would stay at my place and he asked to be put on electrical bill. Like, not. Not to help pay my bills. Asked to be put on the electrical bill.

[B]

And I was so that he's got mail.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Coming to your home.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Prove that he also lives in your girl.

[C]

You already know they plant sedated.

[B]

This man. Go on.

[C]

Well, funny thing. After all this happened, a couple women have emailed me and have been like, you know, this guy says he was dating you. He told me this, this, and that. Is this true? I don't know what's happening. I had sent his ex a message while I was dating him. Like, hey, I don't know what I'm involved with is this person. Is it just from the war? Because he was a veteran. But then I found out he wasn't necessarily the veteran he said he was never. So many lies to dig through. And apparently I just was there to play emotional parcheesi. I'm like, ooh, this'll be fun. Like, let me just keep playing this crazy ass game with this person. And then I got to the point where I realized I have to get this person out of my life somehow.

[D]

And so she called a gay.

[C]

I called a gay to deal with.

[D]

An ex Marine with ptsd.

[C]

You know, they have that, like, hoping.

[B]

That you would fuck him.

[C]

Yeah, I heard about the wedding, and I'm like, wait a minute.

[D]

He's got a reputation.

[C]

Can you fuck the PTSD out of him? Cause he'd be perfect. And we could just get rid of a couple of these overlapping mental illness circles.

[D]

No, I couldn't. Cause then he'd run for office. Then I'd have to be like, oh, that congressman.

[B]

Wait, so you called Justin?

[C]

Yeah, I called Justin. A lot had happened that night. He somehow got into my building, and as I was sitting on the couch. My condo has a window, and it looked out to, like, the hallway. He was standing in the hallway just in the dark, staring into my condo. No. And I was like, oh, damn. This is.

[D]

This is how I go.

[C]

This is how I end. This is how I die.

[B]

I can't believe this went from a comedy podcast to now true crime.

[C]

Yeah, it's basically true crime. And so then I thought, okay, enough is enough. And.

[D]

But how did he get to the hall? Like, how.

[C]

How.

[D]

How did he show up at the. In the hallway?

[C]

Somehow, because the building has so many people, he. You know, when somebody does, like, the fob, no one's suspicious of an Adonis, right? And he got his well cut to, like, what actually happened. How did he even get to that point? So I was like, justin, I need you to come over. Justin has to do something, probably only the second time in his life. What did you have to go dive into?

[B]

You fucked his dad.

[D]

Oh, I had. I.

[C]

Third time. Third time.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

Third time. Second time.

[D]

Valiantly.

[C]

What did you jump into?

[D]

I valiantly jumped into a bush.

[C]

He dove into a bush. That's a friend. That is a friend. That's, like, literally hid in a bush.

[B]

What did you do with the dogs?

[C]

He got into the house and got Justin out. And I understand that. I didn't expect Justin to have, like, a face off.

[D]

I was also in a towel.

[C]

Oh, he had just got. He was in the shower.

[D]

Because I was like, oh, I'm jumping in the shower. And I hear. And I'm like, well, that's a strange sound. And I'm in a towel. And he's like, hey, Justin, it's me. Let me in. And I'm like, no.

[C]

Kind of like the shark from Saturday Night Live.

[D]

Hey. And I'm looking at him in the peephole, and I'm thinking like, Mark Wahlberg fear. Like, let me out the fucking house.

[C]

You know, like exactly what it was.

[D]

Like, no, you can't come in. You kind of know you can't come in. And so I was like, okay, can't come in. And then. Then I realized they were drilling down the door. And I'm like, well, I'm in a towel. I don't have time to change. So I'm in a full towel, nuts out, just in a bush. Dream big, kids.

[C]

And so Justin, you know, calls me, and I'm like, what happened? He's like, I'm in a bush. I'm like, now's not the time for you to become straight. Like, let's. I need you.

[B]

So ridiculous.

[C]

I need you. And you're just. Just shifting on me right now. So I come back after, like, I don't know how long I had called my friends had showed up at this time, and so I had a.

[D]

Can y' all grab my clothes out of the bathroom? Thanks.

[C]

Justin's like, my hair dryer's in there, and I want my hair to look Good for this.

[D]

I got a weird fern coming out of my ass.

[C]

So I arrive with a restraining order. They were able to kick him out. And, you know, it's this sort of thing where it's like you learn a lot, you know, I learned a big lesson. I guess what I learned was Justin's a legend. Justin's a legend and a really good friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

This guy so much, as long as.

[C]

There'S not a bush around, he's reliable.

[D]

Find a nickel for every time I was told that.

[C]

You know? So I had to get the restraining order. I had to change my locks. And I learned the lesson that, like, if a guy arrives with emotional baggage, I don't need to pick it up. I don't even need to put it in the overhead storage. There's no storage space. Leave that emotional baggage in the airport because it's not for you to travel with.

[B]

Oh, man. Oh, man.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I did not see any of that story coming.

[D]

It was wild. It's crazy.

[B]

Wild. Wild.

[D]

Like you even just, like, telling it again. I was just kind of like, oh, yeah. Because I feel like it was so traumatic for you. Cause I remember what you went through. But then it was kind of like, I've never been in a situation like that before, so it was in a way traumatic for me that I kind of blocked all that out. I was like, you're saying it. I'm like, oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And like I said, the podcast took a huge turn.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Did I bring it down? No.

[B]

By the way, it's extraordinary you're even able to be funny about this. But that is. That is mad. And you know what? I think it is valid and important for people to hear stories like this.

[C]

I think so, too.

[B]

On a Lola's podcast.

[C]

It's tough being a girl.

[B]

This is the most intense episode we've ever had.

[D]

Good.

[C]

Is that good? Yeah, I think it's amazing.

[D]

We did it.

[C]

We built this city.

[B]

Okay, so we'll be right back after the break.

[E]

Hello, listeners, Meet Lisa.

[B]

Hey there.

[E]

Lisa runs an online boutique specializing in sustainable fashion. With acast, she found a whole new way to reach eco conscious shoppers.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

I recorded a quick ad targeted listeners.

[B]

Interested in fashion and sustainability using acast's audience attributes targeting feature and set my budget.

[C]

Before I knew it, people all over were hearing about my shop.

[E]

Now that's a smart way to grow your business. Hey, Lisa, what's trending right now?

[B]

Shopping sustainably. And my sales, of course.

[E]

Start reaching your ideal audience through podcast ads with Acast. Visit. Go acast.com advertisement to get started.

[B]

And we are back. So before you go where we're all I think gonna need to process some feelings. Yeah.

[C]

Confessional. I'm now Catholic.

[B]

I want to share another wrong turn story. This one is not super traumatic. So this is called Misery Loves Company. I'm going to read it to you. We're going to.

[D]

She's right there.

[C]

She can hear you. Misery is a triggering word.

[B]

Now this one's from the news. In January, a woman in Indonesia was enjoying her brand new nose ring at work. A co worker said she had a new piercing and she was playing around, just playing for fun before she messed up. The unnamed office employee had apparently been sticking her nose through the chair's mesh frame. Why? When all of a sudden it got stuck. Security footage taken at the woman's office shows her sitting backward in the chair with her face stuck in in the mesh like a bat caught in the net.

[C]

If I had a dollar.

[B]

Despite their myriad of attempts, the employees bling remained firmly entangled in the netting and left with no other recourse. They had to call the fire brigade, who quickly arrived on the scene. After their rescue attempts proved equally fruitless, they gingerly wheeled the woman into a van and transported her to the local fire station. The firefighters then chose to have a laugh with this woman who was in distress by brandishing a chainsaw. Oh my God, an axe. Must have been your axe. And other heavy duty tools that they pretended they were going to use to free her. Ultimately, they managed to free the woman with pliers after excruciating 10 minutes. But yeah, they just made it as scary as humanly possible.

[C]

Look, after my last situation, I was desperate to meet a firefighter and I thought that was the only way I could. So, you know, I thought starting a fire was more dramatic. So I thought I'd just get my face stuck in a chair.

[D]

Why are you smelling?

[B]

She's old enough to have a job and she's trying to stick her nose through the mesh of a chair. Absolutely.

[D]

So it was intentional.

[C]

It was intentional to smell the chair?

[D]

No, she was just singing like.

[B]

I think she's just showing off her nose ring.

[D]

She deserved everything she got.

[C]

She got caught like a sea.

[B]

I think they should have used the chainsaw. Just chopped her head off.

[C]

They should just left her like that.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Bye. Live your new life.

[D]

Yeah. With the chair stuck to her face.

[C]

Now you're disabled. I sure do. I have not a nose ring story, but I have a nose ring. I'm going to go stick it in something. I'm going to stick it in all that merch you guys have out there, see if I can snag a shirt on this sucker.

[B]

What's. You have nose rings. What's the weirdest thing you've ever done with your nose ring?

[C]

Probably.

[D]

Why is there so much thought?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't.

[C]

I don't think there's anything weird I've ever done with it. I have a couple piercings. I've really done anything weird with them. But now that I know I could meet some firefighters, I will find mesh.

[B]

I think there's a way there's an emergency that you can facilitate in order to find the one.

[C]

Yeah, I think I need to just. I'll just set my underwear drawer on fire. Let's be real.

[B]

I need panties left. This inspiring place.

[D]

Not on a windy day.

[C]

Not on a windy day. Fires are emotional here.

[B]

You've both been an absolute dream. Where can people find you both go first.

[C]

Oh, I have a podcast called Sharp Tongue, which will also become a podcast called Dying Laughing with Jessie Mae. I'm rebranding it into a grief survival guide podcast.

[B]

Fabulous.

[C]

Just celebrating and getting through all types of grief, all types of losses. Also, you can come see me live Jessiemade.com and a portion of ticket sales go towards the Alzheimer's association and Seth Rogen's Hilarity for Charity foundation, both raising funds for families dealing with Alzheimer's.

[B]

Amazing.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And you can find me at Justin Martindale on Instagram and listen to my podcast, Just saying with Justin Marndale comes out every week. And you can watch the videos on YouTube every Wednesday morning. And I am on tour as well. And you can see all the dates in the cities that I'm coming to on my league tree on Instagram.

[B]

You are both fucking delightful and hilarious.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

You are too.

[B]

Just been such a wild, wild ride. I'm genuinely sweating. Me too.

[D]

Our job here is done.

[B]

Thank you for coming to Wrong Turns. Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. Thank you to our launch producer, Eve Bishop, our editor, Shannon Joy Rogers, and consulting producer, Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo of your own Wrong Turns. All you have to do is email personal disaster storiesmail.com. oh, and if you enjoy me, I have a substack that I write several times a month so you can find me there if you want to. See you next time.

[E]

This goes out to all you finance folks. You're under a lot of pressure to save money. But the best finance leaders focus on more than that. Brex knows you want to drive growth, change the game and win. So that's exactly what Brex will help you do. Brex offers the world's smartest corporate card banking, expense management and travel all on one AI powered platform. Are you ready to unlock your peak performance? Join the 30,000 companies making every dollar count with [e-mail] grow.