Lake Bell and Mary Elizabeth Ellis

Summary

Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil: Lake Bell and Mary Elizabeth Ellis

Episode Date: November 20, 2025
Guests: Lake Bell, Mary Elizabeth Ellis
Host: Jameela Jamil

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Overview

In this riotously candid episode of Wrong Turns, host Jameela Jamil welcomes the hilarious and unfiltered actresses Lake Bell and Mary Elizabeth Ellis to swap their most mortifying stories. The mood is irreverent—think joyous cringe without the Hallmark platitudes. From mishaps with pubic hair “top knots” to celebrity run-ins and public urination disasters, the episode doubles down on bodily function, the indignities of fame, and the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood. The show’s tone is warm, raucous, and delightfully shameless, inviting listeners to embrace humiliation as a universal human experience.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Introductions, Self-Deprecation, and Sexual Awakenings

• Jameela introduces her guests with tongue-in-cheek accolades, fumbling Mary Elizabeth’s name and joking about Lake Bell being “everyone's sexual awakening.”
  • “How crazy that I was so desperate to say you were everyone’s sexual awakening... I just crammed it in the middle of your credits.” (Jameela, 02:31)
• The group riffs about awkward adolescence, body changes, and Lake’s summer in France leading to unexpected “boob growth.”
  • Lake: “I used to think of myself as gonzo. I had large features and was hairy... not a sexual awakening.” (03:28)

2. Micro-Humiliations & Medical Mishaps

Colonoscopy & Recognizability:

• Lake Bell shares her experience with a colonoscopy: being recognized by her anesthesiologist while feeling most vulnerable.
  • Lake: “It’s the one time you gotta be on camera, but you don’t have to remember your lines.” (05:57)
  • Lake: “He looked at me, ‘Are you Lake Bell?’ And I was like, ‘No, that’s not okay. I don’t want to talk about that right now.’” (07:02)
• Mary Elizabeth follows with a story about a friend being recognized during a colonic:
  • Mary: “Right when the guy was about to put the thing up, he was like, ‘And just so you know, we’re all huge fans.’” (07:55)

The Waxer’s Family Resemblance:

• Mary tells of a Russian waxer named Deborah who comments that her and her sister’s vaginas look alike.
  • Mary: “‘You and your sister have very similar...’ I recognize this family look.” (08:49)

Owning Shame:

• Jameela sets the stage: “As we know, this podcast is all about just owning our shame.” (09:15)

3. Micro-Humiliations in Public Spaces

Rage Reactions:

• Mary Elizabeth admits her humiliation often turns to public rage—especially in traffic.

  • “If I feel the hot, white-hot shame, it quickly turns to rage. I’m not here to be embarrassed.” (09:33)

• Debate over how each handles a trip or a fall in public:

  • Lake: “I’ve pushed two babies out at home. I’m just like, leave me alone. Fuck that shit.” (12:25)

4. Major Wrong Turns: Disasters at Work and Motherhood

Mary’s “Pubic Top Knot” Story (13:10)

• After giving birth, Mary shoots a yoga scene. Crew whispers about something in her crotch. Costume staff discreetly asks:
  • Costume: “Did you tie your pubic hair in a top knot?” (14:12)
  • Mary: “It was Victoria’s Secret underwear with a bow on it. But their first thought was, ‘Is it her pubic hair?’” (14:40)
• The group riffs on the pitfalls of womanhood and expectations of quirky behavior.

Lake’s Brad Pitt Encounter Meltdown (18:29)

• Lake describes feeling like an imposter at a Hollywood party, hyping herself up internally to meet Brad Pitt.
  • Lake: “In my head, I was saying, ‘That is Brad Pitt. I’m supposed to be here.’” (20:05)
• When introduced, she blurts:
  • Lake: “I know.” [deadpan] (22:31)
• The awkwardness is palpable—nobody rescues her, and she’s mortified at her rudeness.
  • Lake: “It was like the air got sucked out of the conversation pocket.” (23:04)

Mary’s Hospital “Wrong Turn” — Joke-Bombing During a C-Section (28:52)

• Mary, in a 26-hour labor-turned-emergency C-section, cracks jokes to make others comfortable:
  • Mary (to the surgeon shaving her): “Just make it into a heart or a star.” (31:22)
• The doctor’s unamused; later, during surgery, she jokes about a burning smell:
  • Mary: “‘It smells like burning popcorn.’ Charlie: ‘Oh honey, no. That’s your flesh.’” (32:37)
• Mary: “Bombing during my delivery. My delivery—[the] delivery was off.” (33:24)

Lake’s Pissing-in-a-Diaper Escapade (34:06)

• Lake recounts the pride after a successful cross-country flight with her young kids—only to nearly wet herself in a car ride to her mom’s.
• Too wary to leave her children in a stranger’s car, she improvises:
  • Lake: “I do see an overnight diaper...the capacity is really high.” (38:23)
• She ends up peeing in the diaper in the way-backseat, but it overflows everywhere.
  • Lake: “Once it starts, it’s not going to stop...I peed all over my legs.” (41:14)
• She tries to blame it on the kids: “How can I blame this on the kids? Could I be like, my kid is peeing in the back?” (42:03)
• Everyone reflects on how desperate situations defeat even the most well-laid plans.

Jameela’s Cardboard Tissue Box Pee Fiasco (43:09)

• Inspired by Lake’s story, Jameela tells her own: DJing late-night in the UK, desperate to pee, she tries to use a cardboard tissue box by the roadside, fully visible in a polar bear onesie:
  • “I try to pee into his tissue box, which is also made of cardboard, which is, it turns out, not waterproof. Now I’m just peeing through.” (44:56)

5. Reflections on People-Pleasing, Public Perception, and Embarrassment

• Both guests muse on how much effort women expend to avoid inconveniencing others, even at their own expense.
  • Jameela: “The trouble to which you both go through to not make anyone uncomfortable...God bless you both, you funny, delightful, crazy women.” (46:03)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lake (on colonoscopy prep): “It’s butt stuff without the fun.” (06:29)
• Mary (when asked about micro humiliations): “If I feel white hot shame...it turns very quickly to rage.” (09:33)
• Costume designer to Mary: “Did you tie your pubic hair in a top knot?” (14:12)
• Lake (meeting Brad Pitt): “I know.” (22:31)
• Lake (peeing in a diaper): “It was more of a faucet sound.” (41:14)
• Jameela (peeing in a box): “I was pretending to fix the tire while I was urinating.” (44:56)

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Key Timestamps

• 02:31 — Jameela introduces Lake Bell as everyone’s “sexual awakening”
• 05:57–07:02 — Lake recounts colonoscopy anesthesia + recognizability
• 08:49 — Mary’s waxer comments on “family resemblance” of vaginas
• 09:33 — Mary on rage as a response to embarrassment
• 13:10–15:11 — Mary’s post-pregnancy “pubic top knot” underwear story
• 18:29–24:46 — Lake’s awkward Brad Pitt party meltdown
• 28:52–33:19 — Mary’s failed C-section comedy routine (“bombing” her delivery)
• 34:06–42:39 — Lake’s diaper-pee disaster during a car trip
• 43:09–45:19 — Jameela’s own tissue box peeing roadside story
• 49:43–51:41 — Listener “Misery Loves Company” segment (kids mooning, car flips, rescued by the moonee)

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Listener Story: “Misery Loves Company” (49:43–51:41)

• Patrick writes in about “stupid breaks” on childhood road trips with his brother—one mooning incident ends with a car accident, and the person they mooned ends up rescuing them from the crashed car.
  • Jameela: “We thanked him, then pulled up our trousers, no silver lining. And we resumed the stupidity the very next trip.” (51:05)

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Plugs and Farewells

• Mary Elizabeth Ellis:
  • Instagram: @maryelizabethellis
  • Short film: “Last to Leave” (on Vimeo)
  • Upcoming: Season 2 of show with Mike Schur and Ted Danson (“A Man on the Inside”)
• Lake Bell:
  • HBO Max comedy: “The Chair Company” (with Tim Robinson & Zach Cannon)

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Tone & Takeaway

The episode is a gleeful celebration of public humiliation, bodily mishaps, and the absurdity of social expectations—especially for women, mothers, and those in the public eye. There’s comfort in the commiseration: these are deeply human moments, told with genuine warmth, dark humor, and not a trace of self-seriousness.

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No takeaways, no silver linings—just camaraderie, chaos, and laughter where dignity goes to die.

Transcript

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[Jameela Jamil]

Hello and welcome to Wrong Turns. This is a podcast that is where dignity goes to die. We tell you our most humiliating moments and then we don't try and shove a silver lining up your ass. And that's just generally the game. I am joined today by a writer and actress from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Licorice Pizza, New Girl Santa, Clarita Dyer and Taylor Swift's Anti Hero music video, which you should count as a movie credit. Her show A Man on the Inside, in which she acts alongside Ted Danson, whoever that is. Nightmare is streaming now on Netflix. It's Mary Elizabeth.

[Lake Bell]

Try that again.

[Jameela Jamil]

You got it.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

You did so well.

[Jameela Jamil]

Malfunctioned.

[Lake Bell]

It was good.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's Mary Elizabeth Ellis, everyone. For fuck's sake.

[Lake Bell]

That was my most favorite moment.

[Jameela Jamil]

Speaking of fuck sake, we also welcome an award winning actress, writer, director and producer from Bless this Mess. She was everyone's sexual awakening. She was also in Complicated. I shouldn't have crowbar'd that in there. It's Complicated. Children's Hospital and inner world. Her new hit comedy the Chair Company is streaming on hbo. Max. It's Lake Motherfucking Bird.

[Lake Bell]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh my God.

[Lake Bell]

Given names. So thank you for using it.

[Ad Host]

So fabulous.

[Jameela Jamil]

How crazy that I was so desperate to say that you were everyone's sexual awakening that I couldn't wait till the normal place to say it, which is near your name. I just crammed it in the middle of your credits, which is. I couldn't wait.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

We're not in charge of when our sexual awakening happened.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, exactly.

[Lake Bell]

I thought it was nice. And I think that a lot of sexual awakenings get crammed in.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. So it was fitting. I don't know where you least expect.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It at least once a week.

[Jameela Jamil]

Who was yours?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Lake Bell.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, sure. Lake Bell, Were you. Your sexual awakening, you were looking in the mirror one day and you were like, yep.

[Lake Bell]

I will say I remember. And this is, like, sort of on subject of what we're talking about today, but I remember kind of being very scrawny. Like, physically very. Like a little bit of that cliche of, like, I was so, you know, scrawny, but. And also hairy. I was very hairy and scrawny, so that's fun for women.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sort of like a greyhound.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. I used to think of, like, myself as gonzo. Do you know gonzo? Cause I had large features, and I was like, hairy. Like, that's me. Like, I identified that way. And so it was just like, everything was coming in at the same time. And I was just, like, nose with, like, knees and elbows and hair. And it was really not a sexual awakening. But then I went to a school year abroad in France, and I ate a lot of yummy shit over there, and I got boobs somehow. And, like, shit started going crazy, and I was wearing the A cup. I came home and my friends were like, dude, that's not working anymore.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Lake went to France and got a boob job.

[Lake Bell]

I think they thought I went to France.

[Jameela Jamil]

3 Netflix movie this skinny, scrawny girl, the summer goes to France, and then all of the weight she gains goes only to her breath. And then she becomes Lake Belle. Like that.

[Lake Bell]

And yet I've not been cast in one of those.

[Jameela Jamil]

Just get out.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It's not too late.

[Lake Bell]

It's not too late.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Coming of age.

[Lake Bell]

But it is kind of. I think that cliche is, like.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's like when Victoria's Secret models are.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Like, oh, my God, I was such a nerd.

[Jameela Jamil]

I used to believe I play video.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Games, like, all the time.

[Lake Bell]

Exactly.

[Jameela Jamil]

But I understand that, the sincerity behind it. Because you're funny.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

So therefore I know you're not lying.

[Lake Bell]

I know, I know. Thank you.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Tragedy struck at some point.

[Lake Bell]

Boobs are fun, you guys. Like, I can't lie.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

They're funny for sure.

[Lake Bell]

They're hilarious. They're messing around. They're Always bouncing around.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Push them up, push them down.

[Lake Bell]

There's everything you could. They're versatile.

[Jameela Jamil]

If nothing else, I looked like Saddam at the end or Osama bin Laden kind of in the middle to the end.

[Lake Bell]

Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

Until I was about 22 and then 22, and then 22, 21, 22. I mean, it's just.

[Lake Bell]

It's makeup, and I don't think it is dresses.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It's not true.

[Jameela Jamil]

Can't even say I'm just a haircut, because no one even likes this haircut.

[Lake Bell]

I actually like this haircut.

[Jameela Jamil]

Do you? Yeah, like f. Ck because I've had it for 37 years, literally. This is my 37th anniversary of this haircut.

[Lake Bell]

Have you ever gone like that?

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Huh?

[Jameela Jamil]

No one's ever seen. My boyfriend's never seen my asshole or my forehead.

[Lake Bell]

What?

[Jameela Jamil]

11 years.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Save it for marriage.

[Jameela Jamil]

11 years. I'm like, if you want to see this, you gotta put it.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Put a ring on it.

[Jameela Jamil]

You get to see ring for ring.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

You can ring for ring 100%.

[Jameela Jamil]

What were you saying when you came in? And I was like, you have to say that on the podcast.

[Lake Bell]

Well, I was talking about we are at a certain age where we get to do really fun things, and one of which is getting a colonoscopy.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[Lake Bell]

What I liked about it was the fact that it is the one time you gotta be on camera, but you don't have to remember your lines.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

So relaxing.

[Lake Bell]

Know you're gonna be on Came today, you know, and you don't have to prepare for anything.

[Ad Host]

No.

[Jameela Jamil]

But it has actually similar diet prep, though, Isn't it, by the way? By the way.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

No eating.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Listen, shut your brains out.

[Lake Bell]

You're not afraid to do it. I will say this. It's actually really important for people our age to do.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah. Okay.

[Lake Bell]

And you gotta do it. And you're gonna be, like, kind of freaked out about it because you're like, it's butt stuff without the fun. Okay. And yet you do it because you're just building it up in your head. We all do this shit where we're, like, building it up in our head. Like, it's so scary. And the prep and the pooing and all that stuff. But let's be honest, okay? We all poo.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

We've all, like, Speak for yourself.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm English.

[Lake Bell]

I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

You don't even think. Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

But yeah, I'm excited to just disappear into drugs for a while.

[Lake Bell]

The drug part of it is exciting. The guy that my anesthesiologist did say to me. He looked at me, he was like, are you like, Belle? And I was like, no, that's not okay. I literally. I think I might have been, like, crying a little bit. Cause I was a little nervous and feeling anxious. And then I was like, yeah, man, I don't want to talk about that right now. Like, I was like, pretty honest. You know, there was no people pleasing at all. I was just like, that's an appropriate.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Not the time or the place. That's the malfunction.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like, that's the crazy. You couldn't be more vulnerable.

[Lake Bell]

That was partially why I was so bummed out about. I mean, I'm being honest.

[Jameela Jamil]

Bummed out. No pun intended.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I like that.

[Lake Bell]

No pun fully intended.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Cause what that also happened to my friend. She booked a Groupon for colonics.

[Lake Bell]

And that is something that's very similar.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yes. You know. Yeah. Like, get yourself cleaned up.

[Jameela Jamil]

A Dyson up your ass. Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Don't pay too much for it. But right when the guy was about to put the thing up, he was like. And just so you know, we're all huge fans.

[Lake Bell]

I mean.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And she was like, well, now I can never fucking come back here again because it's so.

[Jameela Jamil]

And there's no clause on Groupon to get your money back for her. Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

What if I get recognized as the tubes are going up my ass, like.

[Lake Bell]

I loved you in Boston Legal. It's like, what I'm.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Thank you so much.

[Lake Bell]

And then I go to it like, shuts to black.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Rihanna once had a wax. And as she's like, legs akimbo, the waxer said to her, I know who you are.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

That's amazing.

[Jameela Jamil]

So funny.

[Lake Bell]

It's so not fair.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It's not My waxer. A while ago, when I used to get waxed.

[Lake Bell]

Deborah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Deborah. She was Russian, like most Deborahs.

[Lake Bell]

Okay.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I got through my sister and I was lying back and she was like, you and your sister have very similar.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, that is insane. Because you presume they're seeing so many all day, every day that it's just washing over them.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I've seen less vagina somewhere.

[Lake Bell]

This is similar to your sister.

[Paige Desorbo]

That is horrifying.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I recognize this family look. It's a family look.

[Lake Bell]

And good for you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, well, I don't think two people could be more suited for this podcast because we're already free and we're already losing somewhere open. It's fantastic. All right, so as we know, this podcast is all about just owning our shame. We're gonna start with some little micro humiliations. Mary Elizabeth. I Think I'm gonna start with you.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

All right, I'm happy to start. I don't do well being humiliated. Like, if I feel the hot. Like, white hot shame starting to come in, it turns very quickly to rage. Oh, yeah. Like, I'm not here to be. It's so interesting, right? Cause people are like, oh, as an actress, like, you're so vulnerable. And then I'm like, am I showing up with vulnerability? I don't like being embarrassed. And I will do anything to you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Look, I'm gonna mind my fucking business.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah, watch your business. Watch your business. So I have met people before where they have said. I've said, like, oh, hi, I'm Mary Elizabeth. And they've gone, oh, I know who you are. And I'm like, oh, okay. And they're like, because one time you were driving down Laurel Canyon and you were screaming at me in your car. Like, I started to walk out and you flipped me off, and you were just, like, screaming. Screaming like, your face was so red.

[Ad Host]

Really?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Cause I get so upset in my car, and it's like, the only place that feels sort of like no one will hear me. No one will see me. This is where my rage.

[Jameela Jamil]

Cause you're just. You're teeny tiny.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I'm tiny.

[Jameela Jamil]

Beautiful.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

So angry then.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. All of this.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah. So much rage. So I had to be like, oh, my God, it's so nice to meet you, and I'm very sorry.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's so nice to see you again.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And also, maybe whatever you are doing, don't do that.

[Lake Bell]

Did you say that?

[Jameela Jamil]

No. Okay.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

But I'm saying it now.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's interesting that it turns out it.

[Lake Bell]

Turns to rage, though.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It turns to rage. Like, I'm like, get.

[Lake Bell]

Where does. I just want to talk to you for a second, please.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, I definitely hijack my podcast, actually.

[Lake Bell]

No, no, I just was curious. I'm like, I.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Look at.

[Lake Bell]

I just wouldn't have.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I know. I present so nice. I think it's how I can, like, show up with, like, kindness and love and joy.

[Jameela Jamil]

You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Lovely presenting.

[Ad Host]

Nice.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

What's your skin look like on? My skin? Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Just curious.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Just wondering.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Nice to know.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah, it's good to know.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

So it's either mine either goes, like, to rage or it goes to, like, everyone. Just so everyone knows I know what's going on.

[Lake Bell]

Okay.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Like, I'm not. I'm not missing out on anything.

[Jameela Jamil]

But can I just ask quickly? Sorry. When you trip over on the street, do you look back at the Thing you tripped on angrily, or do you overly theatrically laugh it off and look at everyone and make eye contact, being like, it's my joke now as well.

[Lake Bell]

See?

[Jameela Jamil]

So you can't find me funny? Which one are you?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah, I look angrily back at the thing and, like, roll my eyes and. Yeah. And then I go like, oh, God, I should have dealt with that in a different way. And then, like, shame spiral. And then. Yeah. Meditation later.

[Jameela Jamil]

I laugh maniacally in a way that.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Then makes it worse and, like, point at it.

[Lake Bell]

What?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

How? What do you do?

[Lake Bell]

I. So that's what I literally was. Like, what do I. You know, I've gotten to the place in my life where it's like a trip, and I just, like, keep fucking moving. Like, I don't know what to do with you. Like, I. It's a little bit before, I might have been like, you know, but now I think I'm in the place of my life. I'm like, I've pushed two babies out, like, at home. I'm just like, leave me alone. Fuck that shit. Like, I see you sidewalk, like, whatever. Okay, You've got shade. Like, I don't give a fuck, you know?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Like, flip got off.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. Like, I got into it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like.

[Lake Bell]

Like, all right, well, you're fucking cracked.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Like, we all are. We're all cracked.

[Lake Bell]

We're all cracked.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wait, sorry, I interrupted you.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

No, no. So I was right after I had my baby, the first thing that I shot was I was playing a yoga instructor. And the shot that we were doing was, like, I was sitting down and meditating. And then someone knocks on the door, and I, like, look up, and then I stand up and walk to the door. Now, the camera stays here, which means that my crotch will rise into the shot. I don't know why they were using that, what that shot would be used for, but I was like, whatever. I just. I'm an actor. Like, just tell me where to stand and I'll do it. So I hear the door and I stand up, and all of a sudden I hear cut. Like, everyone whispering behind camera. You know when you're like, yeah.

[Lake Bell]

And you're like, oh, God.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And I was like, is it like breast milk? Like, is my vagina leaking? Like, I had a baby come out of it recently, like, so uncomfortable and embarrassed while everyone's whispering. And then the costume woman comes up to me and she's like, can I speak to you for a minute in the dressing room?

[Jameela Jamil]

And I'm like, everyone being so fucking polite about it. You do I shit myself.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Did I shit myself? Oh, my God, yes. Like, what? So we go into my dressing room and she goes, have. Did you tie your pubic hair in a top knot?

[Lake Bell]

Stop.

[Jameela Jamil]

And did you.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I mean, if I.

[Lake Bell]

That is not a question.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I was like, I what? And then I like, looked in my pants and I was like, it's Victoria's Secret underwear that has, like a bow on it. But their first thought, the whispering behind Cameron was like, is it her pubic hair? I don't know. Maybe she did. I guess she's grown it long enough to twist it up and tie into a top so that my vagina would be enlightened. Like Pussy Rapunzel.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And so then I came out into onto set and was like, my pubic hair is not in a top knot. There's a bow on my underwear. Like, what is wrong with people?

[Lake Bell]

I don't know. That is something. That is a long road to that assumption. Right?

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, good.

[Lake Bell]

This is a long and winding.

[Jameela Jamil]

There is nothing that could have prepared me for that accent. There's just nothing.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And I'm just, like, neutral, like, every day, like, trying to grow it long enough.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, no. Yeah. It also says, like, a lot about the quirky kind of gal you are. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

What does that say about me?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, that's so funny. That is truly.

[Lake Bell]

That was really great. I can't beat that.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's not a competition.

[Lake Bell]

No, no, but I get it.

[Jameela Jamil]

But it is. But it is.

[Lake Bell]

No, no, it's not. I just mean, like, that is really good.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It's just like an insane thing for someone to say to you.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, I know.

[Lake Bell]

I'm thinking about, like, the. Like, did the genius costumer come up with that visual to present to you? And, like, I mean. Cause I, as a costumer, I would be like, there's a fucking.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

There's clearly a like.

[Lake Bell]

Or a.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Something fell in there. A snap or a button or something.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's a woman who' just had a baby. It's like, are her hands not full enough that you thought she braiding her puke?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Well, during pregnancy, you never does grow very. Because your baby has to have something to grab on, pull itself out.

[Lake Bell]

It grabs pubic hair like that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, Like Indiana Jones.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah. That's why baby's biceps are.

[Jameela Jamil]

So the difference between you and me, I think, is that I would go, yes, I did. Because I like to spread strange rumors about myself. I love it.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Oh, that's amazing.

[Jameela Jamil]

Because then people think you're crazy and then they leave you alone.

[Lake Bell]

That's true. My dad used to say to me, closer to the microphone, please, Hi and welcome. So my dad used to say to me, when you're driving and there's someone like. Like, tailgating you really hard, just. It's, like, so fucking frustrating, but just kind of take the wheel and give with control. Do a little, like, swerve, because then they're like, oh, that person's fucked up. And then they totally get off your.

[Jameela Jamil]

I treat every moment of every day like I'm entering jail for the first time, and you want to just act really insane so that no one wants to make you their bitch. Yeah, straight to the middle. Don't you have, like, a funny walk that you do at night? You know, when you're walking alone at night? Mine is very. Just sort of like, oh, yeah, mine's wide.

[Lake Bell]

There's a wide gate.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is literally how I make that phase, how you do that.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't want to get bothered.

[Lake Bell]

Attack me.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I feel like mine's like, my. My problem is that I want someone to attack me because you'll punch them in the face. I think that I can, but I can't. I'm tiny. I'm a tiny person.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're quite terrifying. So, you know, I think on that pubic.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, the pubic pulse.

[Jameela Jamil]

All right, so what's your micro humiliation?

[Lake Bell]

My micro humiliation, you know, is more subtle in that I am a person who is not, like, outwardly, like, I'm crazy. I'm more like the insanity is in my head and it's a brew of tea of neuroses, and someone gets to.

[Jameela Jamil]

Date you for, like, two years, and.

[Lake Bell]

Then they're like, oh, hello, Clarice. She's got a lot going on. I mean, I think of myself more kind of like, in the. Like, walking through a fog of anxiety that I need to wrestle with. So, anyway, the lot of inner monologuing. Anyway, so I was at a Hollywood party, okay? Flex.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Heard them. Heard of them.

[Lake Bell]

Have you heard of them? And look, I'm generally.

[Jameela Jamil]

I say, this has been a very relatable episode already. Anyway, so getting, you know, like, recognized during our vagin butt stuff, you know, this is.

[Lake Bell]

Look, I just feel like I was in a room that I totally have every right to be in. But of course, as who I am, in my brain, there's always a little apology of, like, I shouldn't be here. And there's imposters that, like, what am I? I mean, no, but I was invited. I was invited. I'm supposed to be in this room, you know? And so that's going through my mind. And I'm married at the time to my. And my ex and I are genuinely friends. We are like homies. We're family forever. But he was there, and we were married at the time, and he and I were gonna go home to the kids. And as I'm looking around the room, I did see Brad Pitt of the Brad Pitt varietal.

[Jameela Jamil]

Familiar.

[Lake Bell]

And in my head, I was saying, that is Brad Pitt. And for me, that is just what I'm experiencing. And I'm cool. Look at me. I'm cool. I don't care, all right? I'm supposed to be in this fucking room, all right? There's fucking this person over here. That person. We're all here.

[Jameela Jamil]

So you're being your own hype man in your head.

[Lake Bell]

Hyping myself up. Because I'm like, it's not a fucking b. He's a human being, by the way. Whatever. Okay? He poops just like everybody else poops, you know, except for Jamila.

[Jameela Jamil]

Except British.

[Lake Bell]

But I. I'm feeling in my mind, in my body, a little bit like that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh.

[Lake Bell]

I grew up being quite enamored of him, you know, just as we do. I just thought he was fucking wow, you know? And a lot of us did. But he's also a bit of a wow, I think when you see him, I don't know. Have you seen him in person?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. And so you're kind of like, wow, it's exciting, you know? And you're like, that's okay. That's human. So then my husband at the time is talking to him and another friend of ours, and he somehow found his way in that little group. And I was sort of like, I would like to go. But I also am now ignoring my husband because I know what he's doing, which is a little bit of a. Like, hey, come, Homer, and say, fine. You know? And I was like, let's go. You know? Cause I was like, I'm not gonna go and be a fucking tryhard and be like, hey. You know. Cause I knew I couldn't trust myself to be a normal person.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Sure.

[Lake Bell]

And I would like to be cool. I would like to think of myself as, like, cool. Like, I can handle it. So anyway, I just knew I was not at that place. I just don't want to deal with the situation because I just don't trust myself. So anyway, finally, my ex husband will not move. Scott will not move off of the thing. He's like, come on. And I Was like, okay. Like, just fuck it.

[Ad Host]

All right?

[Lake Bell]

Just like, get your fucking big girl panties on and walk over there and be a normal fucking person. You're supposed to be here. I kept being like, I'm invited here. I'm invited here.

[Ad Host]

I'm invited here.

[Lake Bell]

I'm supposed to be here. And then, like, I walk up and they're like, oh, this is Lake Scott's wife. And I was like, silent crickets. And then I just look over and Brad Pitt of Brad Pitt's says, I'm Brad. And I said, I know. As if.

[Jameela Jamil]

Exactly like that.

[Lake Bell]

Yes. As if I'm some.

[Jameela Jamil]

As if it's tedious to you.

[Lake Bell]

Yes.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

He's offended you. Deep sleep. Super offended.

[Lake Bell]

And like, oh, my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

And also, like, he was such a shagger. Like, I imagine his brain. He's like, did I fucker not call her back?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Do you know?

[Lake Bell]

I mean, I just was like, I know. Like me, Like, a little bit mean.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

We have a child together.

[Lake Bell]

We have four children together, you asshole. No, but it was just like. I was so disappointed in myself.

[Jameela Jamil]

How did he react? He reacted to that energy.

[Lake Bell]

He was so. It was dead, for whatever reason. I know it's subtle, but it's like. It was like the air got sucked out of the little, like, conversation pocket. And my one friend and my Scott were, like, smiling and just, like, letting the air get thick. Like, nobody's throwing me a bone. I'm like, could anyone be like. Anyway, so blah, blah, blah, blah. What? Anything. I don't know. Like, you know, just give me. I'm, like, hot right now. Because I just felt so, like, thrown out there.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Because they're probably also in. Whatever their Brad Pitt story is.

[Lake Bell]

No, they're fine. They're guys. They don't give a fuck. Like, they're just sitting there being like, we all have dicks. You know? Like, I don't know.

[Jameela Jamil]

Was it when it came out, the second it came out, did you know that that came out wrong. And we were like, no. Okay.

[Lake Bell]

I was just like, yes. It was more like. I remember saying it in an intonation that was like, what kind of way.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Did you want to say it?

[Lake Bell]

I wanted to be like. I don't want to say. I know. I'd just be like, oh, nice to meet you. You know, moving on, you know? Like, it was so rude. I was so fucking rude. I was like, this happens.

[Jameela Jamil]

It does. This just happens.

[Lake Bell]

But I'm not that girl. I was like, oh, man. Like, just cool it. And so I want to see him.

[Jameela Jamil]

Now and be like, thank you for that Mike humiliation. I think it was actually quite devastating. I can imagine it. Just because you just for the rest of your life, every time you have to see him on the tv, every time you see him in the news, you just, you think about that first time and he's still wondering if you two had sex. So it's a two way street.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

He would remember. He would remember.

[Lake Bell]

He would remember. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. No, I do appreciate. I think you would have.

[Jameela Jamil]

And on that note, let's go to a fucking break. Okay. My dogs get bored in the winter because we're not going outside as much. So there's less to do, less to see, less to smell. And one of the ways I like to try and engage their senses is using food. And that's where Nom Nom is super handy because they pay a lot of attention to making food not just delicious and nutritious, but also exciting. They have a mix of tantalizing smells, textures, and vibrant ingredients to keep your dogs interested and coming back for more. My dogs absolutely love it. And the variety of meals they have is almost human grade. They get to eat lamb pilaf, beef mash, turkey fare, chicken cuisine, pork potluck, chicken cooker. I get jealous of their food. And the plate is always licked absolutely spotless, clean afterwards. Everything is crafted by vet nutritionists, so you know you're giving them really good produce. The meat looks like meat, the veggies look like veggies. It just feels good all round. And you can tell that they are more engaged while they're eating it and more satisfied and more tired afterwards. My dogs really love it. I'm sure yours will too. So keep meal time exciting with Nom Nom. Available at your local Petsmart store or at chewy.com learn more at trynom.com wrongturns spelled try n o m.com wrongturns do it now. It looks delicious.

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[Ad Host]

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[Jameela Jamil]

And we are back. All right, thank you so much for all of these stories. Already I feel guilty for asking for more and yet I'm going to Mary Elizabeth, what was your big wrong turn?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

My big wrong turn? I mean, it's also again, making a human with my body related, which, you know, I think, you know, we have to give ourselves breaks for. Right. But, but my other tragic flaw is if I'm getting embarrassed, I either go to anger or to like making a joke. So, like, everybody will feel comfortable in the moment. Right. And so my son, I was pregnant, My son was like a week late. I went in, I did the testing, and then at the very end of it, they were like, every time you're contracting, the heart rate is dropping, so we need to induce you, like, it's time to go to the hospital. So I like have my bag and I walk in and I'm like, hi, I'm in labor. Which is, I'm sure not normally how people come in when they're in labor. But I went into the labor and delivery room, they put me on Pitocin. And then I had like 26 hours of laboring after Pitocin, after Pitocin of also being like, I'm not gonna do drugs. Which as my friend always says, like, I do drugs all the Time for fun. Why would I not do them when I need them? And is a good thing to remember. So finally, like, I take an epidural, and then he's just, like, not coming. And my doctor's finally, like, this is not good. Like, it's unsafe. You need to get this baby out of you. And I'm like, whatever it takes. So they bring me in for an emergency C section. And it's been, like, I don't know, like, being on, like, a acid trip or something where, like, the mood's been set, and it's been, like, lighting and quiet. I've been listening to, like, chanting for, like, 26 hours. And all of a sudden, it's, like, bright lights, people. Charlie gets ripped away to get scrubbed up so he can come in the emergency room with me. I'm, like, lying on a table. I'm strapped down. I'm shaking because I have so much, like, drugs and adrenaline and exhaustion, and I'm, like, puking. So, like, leaning to the side and just, like, puking. Sexy. Sexy, like, crying, puking, shaking, like, lying on this table. And this guy, like, leans over me, and he's like, this handsome younger dude, right? And he's, like, got this cross on that's, like, swinging in my face. Like, cross necklace. And he's like, ma', am, I'm gonna prep you for surgery. And I'm like, what? And he's like, I'm gonna prep you for surgery. I'm gonna shave you. I'm gonna shave you down there. And I'm like, okay, just, like, make it into, like, a heart or a star.

[Jameela Jamil]

Can you tie it into a knot? That's how that actually happened.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And it's been that way since. Yes. I asked if I could get, like, a stripper, but he's. I'm like, can you tie it and do it? Wait, wait, wait. Did you really. I really asked that? I was trying to make a joke.

[Jameela Jamil]

Where was he shaving you?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And where they're gonna cut? Where they're gonna make an incision. So he has to shave. They have to shave your pubic hair so they can make, like, an incision.

[Jameela Jamil]

The beauty standards today to take your baby.

[Lake Bell]

He just doesn't want to fucking look.

[Jameela Jamil]

At your bush while he's cutting your pig out. Really crazy.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

All grown man.

[Jameela Jamil]

Really crazy. Really, ma'? Am?

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. Star is really hard.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And then he is like, everyone, quiet. Everyone quiet. The patient has something to say. What did you say?

[Lake Bell]

Ma', am?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

My delivery is like. I'm, like, trying to have comedic timing, but I'm like, shaking and puking and crying, and I'm like, just nevermind, you know? And then Charlie comes in and he's like, you're gonna be okay. And I'm like, okay. And then they start. They're like, okay, we're gonna make the incision. And I think they must do it with like a laser or something that like. Like sutures, like, while it's like solders. I don't know. I'm not a doctor. Sutures, sutures, while they're like, burn.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm a doctor.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It burns your flesh. So the smell. There's a smell in the room, right?

[Jameela Jamil]

And I. Is it bacon?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Well, I look at Charlie and I go, it smells like burning popcorn again. Trying to make a joke, right? And he goes, oh, honey, no. That's your flesh.

[Lake Bell]

No, stop.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yes. And I'm like, I funion. No.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like, lighten the mood.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

But like, the need. He's like, not. Not funny. Like, this is not funny.

[Lake Bell]

And I'm like, he's going through his own.

[Jameela Jamil]

His own thing where he's just so turned off.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Just like. Yeah. The need for us to, like, make everyone else comfortable. Like, make a joke in the moment. Like as another human is being lifted out of my body into this world.

[Lake Bell]

That is really good. And also vulnerable.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Bombing during.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Your bombing during my delivery. My delivery. Delivery was off. Just the stupidest.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, I find you adorable.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, I do like you. Thanks. Like, more than I like. You know what?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

That's why I did this podcast.

[Lake Bell]

I really already liked you, but, like, and you.

[Jameela Jamil]

America, is there any feeling greater than Lake House is saying to you?

[Lake Bell]

No.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Really? Sexual awakening.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, she likes me. That was just great.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Your birth story will live with me for the rest of my life.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Makes you want to have a baby?

[Jameela Jamil]

Uh huh. Totally. Okay, go on.

[Lake Bell]

I also made small humans inside my body and pushed them out of my vagina.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wow.

[Lake Bell]

Okay. And two home births and flesh.

[Jameela Jamil]

You say that like you're admitting something. You're like, all right, I'm gonna.

[Lake Bell]

I mean, I am gonna admit that there were two home births, meaning there was no epidural. I would have fucking done the epidural if it was on my bedside table, but I didn't have it. So. The point is, you know, you get through this moment in your life, and even if you haven't had kids, you understand acutely that it is no joke. And that the first time you travel with, you know, solo with your babies. Babies. You know, you are kind of like you're preparing Yourself as much as you can. There's snacks, there's things to play with. There's. If that doesn't work out, I remember like wrapping like, like toys that already existed. And then you wrap them in paper so that it feels like, hey, you wanna open up this thing that you already know about? But it's fun, you know, like just anything so that they're not screaming the whole time. Anyway, so I get through a cross country, traveling from LA to New York with two babies my first time. Well done. Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Jesus Christ. Yes. And everyone's looking at you the whole time like, are you gonna let your babies cry?

[Lake Bell]

I know. And you're like, that's a huge judgment.

[Jameela Jamil]

Cause it's your fault.

[Lake Bell]

It's totally my fault.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Why is your baby son. You've done that.

[Lake Bell]

So I just remember being like, I did it. I fucking did it. And it's nighttime. The babies have a lot of things they're needing in order to get. You know, you got your two car seats, right? You've got to get. There's a nice man in a livery car, SUV of some sort that's picked me up. You know, thank God for. I'm so happy to see him. You know, you get to the other side, you're like, oh, thank you so much. Here's my bag. And he's being very nice, older gentleman, and he's plugging in the car seats and we got one in the way back, and then we got one in the front, you know, And I'm like, okay, everything's okay. So I did it. I'm doing it. I mean, I'm doing it. I have a two hour drive, but I'm doing it and driving to my mom's upstate. So we are in. Once I get. There's kind of the sort of chaos of getting everyone situated. The kids finally fall asleep. You know, I'm like, ah, this is great.

[Jameela Jamil]

You kind of feel like you've cracked parenting at this point.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, you need to have those victories because you're kind of like failing a lot of the time.

[Ad Host]

So.

[Lake Bell]

So I'm there and you know, there's like a low hum of the car and I've turned the music way. I asked him to just kind of have white, noisy kind of music. And he's been awesome the whole time. So I realize that I kind of turned to myself and my own needs and I realized I have to pee, like bad. Like in a way that's like, how did it get this far? How did I not?

[Jameela Jamil]

Do you ever need to pee for so long that then you don't need to pee anymore. And then you wonder if you peed.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Did it get upset at some point?

[Lake Bell]

Did it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

Or like, did you put it back up? I sometimes would tell my kids, like, at a really. I'd be like, you gotta put it back up. Cause we can't stop. They're like, put it back up. What are you talking about?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Crying out of your eyes?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. So everyone's got one kidney in their legs family now.

[Lake Bell]

So I was aware of my physical state suddenly kind of like a ton of bricks. And I was like, I could ask him to stop. I'll ask him to stop. And I was like, wait a second. Like, we're in. We're now like in the middle of nowhere, you know? And I don't know him that way. I'm not leaving my precious babies. Like, I just met this person, and I'm sure he's a great guy, but it just feels like I'm gonna go to a gas station, get out, le. Leave my babies. I don't know. It didn't make sense. And especially as a. Like a newer mom, you're just.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're kind of hyper vigilant.

[Lake Bell]

Yes, I probably would now. I just was not there. And I was like, it's not an option. We cannot do that. And so I sat with it and I was like, can I put it back up there? I was like, that is not a thing. So then I look into my bags, I'm looking around. What can I do? Is there? I've. I look at a bottle and I'm like, I have had two kids, so I don't think my aim would. Right.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah.

[Lake Bell]

Be able to get into the bottle. And also, I'm with a grown man. Stranger in his car, so I'm not doing that, obviously. But I do see an overnight diaper in the arsenal of children's things that I have with me in my pack. Okay. My mom pack. And I'm like, it is the overnight diaper. I mean, it does. The capacity is really high.

[Jameela Jamil]

And, you know, you're a tiny little baby.

[Lake Bell]

Tiny, tiny, tiny baby.

[Jameela Jamil]

A gerbil, essentially.

[Lake Bell]

And I am not putting the math together. It's a desperate choice. And I'm going, okay. I make an excuse to the. I'm like, I'm gonna try. And so I tell him what you're gonn. I say to the guy, oh, I'm just gonna. I'm gonna go to the way back. Cause I'm gonna check on the baby, you know, And I Climb in the back. Back. And he's just driving, just not even paying attention. And I take the overnight diaper.

[Jameela Jamil]

Do you have the one? I just.

[Lake Bell]

The one.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're a very ambitious woman.

[Ad Host]

I don't know.

[Lake Bell]

It was not wise, any of it. So I then have to be like, as if I'm sitting in the back.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is, like, gonna piss into a.

[Lake Bell]

I am now architecturally trying to maneuver my body in a way that makes it look like I'm sitting, but that I'm actually, like, giving myself some space, you know, to have some gravity helping that the pee is going down.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

What choice are you making? What's your choice?

[Lake Bell]

I am soft and serene. I mean, I mainly was, like, checking that the back. The. The rear view.

[Jameela Jamil]

Of course you are.

[Lake Bell]

Cause I'm just thinking, I don't want.

[Jameela Jamil]

Him to fucking look like.

[Lake Bell]

And so I.

[Jameela Jamil]

Then also, the music's down low.

[Lake Bell]

It's too low, to be honest, because I'm nervous about the sound. And when you are a grown woman with a full take of pee.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, I got it. I didn't think it was pooh.

[Lake Bell]

That's fair. So it's gonna be a release that's going to have a sound.

[Jameela Jamil]

Biblical.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah. It's gonna be varsity.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Interesting.

[Jameela Jamil]

She's been holding it in for hours.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And hours and hours.

[Jameela Jamil]

For sure.

[Lake Bell]

It's more about the sound for me in this moment, because that's what windows are for. Yeah. Yeah. So I. I do the deed. I start the deed, realize really quickly that, A, this overnight diaper is not satiating the full job.

[Jameela Jamil]

I got it.

[Lake Bell]

And then, B, it is more of a faucet sound. And also, once it starts, it's not going to stop because the pelvic floor is not as tight as it should be at that time. And so I'm trying to cut off the flow, and I can't. And it's A, and I'm peeing in this man's car, and he is unaware. And I don't know if it's illegal, but the deed is done. And I peed all over my legs.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did you notice him looking at you when the faucet sound started? Just to see what's happening.

[Lake Bell]

I tried to block that out.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I do want you just making eye contact with him.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah, I do. I know. I mean, honestly, I was like, how can I blame this on the kids? Like, could I be like, my kid is peeing in the back, you know? But it's like an infant. It just didn't work. Anyway, the point is, there was pee Everywhere. And then it was like I used the other diapers to sop up my pee. I mean, diapers in a pinch, guys. But it was just the. And I was mortified with myself. And I also was like, I feel terrible for this man. I was like, he was so helpful. He's just driving his car. It's probably his car. And now there's like adult woman peeing it.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Like, and then he's so happy to not have a bachelorette party. He's like, it's just a mom and a couple babies.

[Lake Bell]

I just felt like he was gonna make eye contact with me in the rearview and be like, I liked you in Boston Legal, you know?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Oh, my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

So deeply harrowing.

[Lake Bell]

It was. I have to pee thinking about it, to be honest with you.

[Jameela Jamil]

I really have to pee thinking about it.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I know I'll never pee again thinking about it.

[Jameela Jamil]

But it's also just how well you were doing up until then makes it just such a horrific anticlimax.

[Lake Bell]

Probably because I felt like I was on a roll as you were saying.

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't think I brought this up ever publicly, but I once had to pee. I was a DJ when I was in my 20s, and so I would have to go on these long late night journeys, journeys to turn up at universities at 2 o' clock in the morning, 3 o' clock in the morning, and like all the freshers balls, for example, the new students and I would do like 40 dates in a row. So you're just always in like cars and you forget to time when you can cut off your water because you really don't have time to stop. The places that you're stopping are so scary. I also do not like a public restroom, so I try and hold it. But anyway, we are on our way back. It's maybe 5am when we're coming back, and I. I am desperate to pee. And there is absolutely nowhere where that can be achieved. And so I have to tell my tour manager. I'm like, look, I have to pee and I'm gonna pee in your car if you don't get me out of here right now. And he's like, there's nowhere for us to stop. We're on a highway. There's just fields. He was like, do you want to go into a field? And I was like, I really don't think I'm. I want to be that woman, but I'm not that woman. And he was like, well, I don't know what to do. And I said, can I have your box of Tea. And he was like, okay. And so I get out. He pulls over by the side of the car, where you go when you've had an accident. And I crouch down by the tire and try and pee into his tissue box, which is also made of cardboard, which is, it turns out, not waterproof. No. And so then it just starts collapsing through. And now I'm just peeing through. There are cars going by. It's 5am so the sun has come up and so everyone can see me. I'm also wearing a polar bear once. Clumsy, because that's what I used to DJ in. And I'm pretending to fix the car. Yeah, I'm pretending I'm fixing the tire while I'm urinating. At the time, I was very well known in England.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Oh, my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

Terrified someone would capture this on camera. And also, this is my tour manager who I have to spend the next fucking 40 dates with as I'm just peeing through this now disintegrated cardboard box. He's watching now at this point point and still pretending to be, like, with a fake crane that isn't in my hand. Yeah. Just pretending to fit.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Did you just want to cover your. I thought I could pee into it. Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

I thought I could just pee into.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It and I can just go on the side of the. I thought you were like. And then I just went on the side of the road and I wanted.

[Jameela Jamil]

To go on my shoes or my polar bear costume. You know, I was.

[Lake Bell]

I was trying to. I. I'm a nature peer.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah. If I got a plp. I'm also, like, a person who's like. Like, like, I'll come sit back down. And Charlie will be like, did you just poop on the plane? And I'm like, yeah, go.

[Jameela Jamil]

Like, if I gotta go, I gotta go.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

You know what I mean?

[Jameela Jamil]

So much more healthy than me, I guess. I'm here for a week and I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna pee until I get back to London. You know, I'm really insane about that type of thing.

[Lake Bell]

I think having, you know, like, having kids. There's just so much bodily function going around with kids.

[Jameela Jamil]

Both of them. Both of your stories are so harrowing and human and hilarious. And they also show, like, the trouble to which you both go through to not make anyone uncomfortable, to not create any problems for anyone else. God bless you both, you funny, delightful, crazy, crazy fucking women.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I mean, I also do feel like I'll go back often and be like, just see you, like, in a polar bear costume. Like squatting next to a car and well thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Remember me?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah, I will.

[Lake Bell]

I'm sponsored by Kleenex.

[Jameela Jamil]

We're going to be right back after a quick break.

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[Paige Desorbo]

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[Hannah Berner]

Same. They're so light and so comfy. And if it's not comfortable, I'm not wearing it.

[Paige Desorbo]

And the bras? Soft, supportive and actually breathable.

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[Jameela Jamil]

And we're back. All right, just before I let you two perfect human beings go, I'm going to read you a story from one of our listeners. They send in their own disasters and we call it Misery Loves Company. This is from Patrick. Patrick Said says when we were kids driving cross country, my parents had an ingenious idea to encourage us to behave if we were good for 59 straight minutes. The last minute of the hour was devoted to what we called a stupid break. This is amazing. Yeah. In which my little brother and I could do whatever dumb thing we could imagine. We would start by making animal sounds and fart noises. But it quickly escalated to both of us putting our bed, bare butt cheeks on the window glass for passing cars to see. One such time, with our buttholes practically kissing the window and plain view of another driver, our car spun out on ice, we slid off the road and the car flipped over. Obviously, they don't have seat belts on. We were all upside down, but unharmed. Miraculously, me and my brother still pantsed, while the driver, who had just moments before gotten an eyeful of our Hershey she highways, was the one to pull us out of the car.

[Lake Bell]

So they were okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

They were okay. Humiliated assholes out. And had to be helped out of the car by the man they had just mooned.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, no.

[Jameela Jamil]

We thanked him, then pulled up our trousers, no silver lining. And we resumed the stupidity the very next trip. Putting it on the glass, if you will. Patrick, you're a fucking nightmare.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

And I love you.

[Lake Bell]

And you're a legend.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I'm so crazy. He was gonna be like, and in the accident, my brother and I switch buttholes.

[Lake Bell]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

And his butthole has been my butthole ever since.

[Lake Bell]

And it was humiliating.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It's humiliating.

[Lake Bell]

But you're. But Deborah the wax lady would be like, I see the difference between.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

You.

[Jameela Jamil]

Know, somewhere Patrick is probably doing this right now. I don't think he's still learned the lesson.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Oh, I hope I see you on my drive home, Patrick. I hope you see. Yeah, that'll go well for him.

[Jameela Jamil]

You and your fucking road rage. Yeah, great.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Fucking tiger.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's all away. Where can everyone find you? And what do you want them to see, read, or hear?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I mean, I am on Instagram, I guess. Mary Elizabeth Ellis is my name. And I have a short film that I wrote and directed that's on Vimeo right now. If you look up my name, it's called Last to Leave. Please go watch that. And yeah, about to do season two of our delightful Mike Scher and Ted Danson Buddy's show.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes, indeed.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

He's a delight, isn't he? Both.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Yeah. Mike just, like, holds you. Like, you're like, oh, you just know what you want. I can do anything. And you'll be like, don't do that, though. And, you know, it's so nice. And yeah, Ted. Mary Steenburgen, like, come on. I'm obsessed with her.

[Jameela Jamil]

They once had us over for a sleep at over and. Have they done that with you?

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Nope.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, well. So I. They had us all over us for a sleepover. And I was a bit like, we're gonna. But we didn't. I didn't, obviously, but I also did.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

A little bit, they hope. Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

And then they just, like, made us food. And in the morning they had, like, us in their little greenhouse and they made. And Mary made the greatest frittata I have ever known. I've not been able to eat another one since. I'm traumatized because how do you ever, like, how do you ever move on from such a thing? Just the best time. The most fun people. How dare they?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Dicks.

[Jameela Jamil]

I fucking hate them. Me too. Let's kill them.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, Cool. Lake, what do you have to promote?

[Lake Bell]

I have a show on HBO called.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

The Chair Company, which I've been watching and loving it.

[Lake Bell]

Oh, you have?

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

It's so funny.

[Lake Bell]

Super subversive, neurotic comedy that I had joy making with Tim Robinson and Zach Cannon. And it's on hbo. Max is where you watch it? Yeah. Comedy. Eight episodes. Go for it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Fab. Well, everyone go find everything. They do. See it, watch it, listen to it. You're so, so special. I'm such a big fan of both of you. Thank you for coming today. I love you.

[Ad Host]

Bye. Bye.

[Mary Elizabeth Ellis]

Gotcha.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wrong Turns was created and produced by me Jameel, Nina Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo of your own wrong turns. All you have to do is email personal disaster storiesmail.com youm can find full length videos of our episodes on YouTube. And don't forget to subscribe. Like review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends.

[Paige Desorbo]

Hey, I'm Paige desorbo and I'm always thinking about underwear.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm Hannah Berner and I'm also thinking about underwear, but I prefer full coverage. I like to call them my granny but panties.

[Paige Desorbo]

Actually, I never think about underwear. That's the magic of Tommy John.

[Hannah Berner]

Same. They're so light and so comfy and if it's not comfortable, I'm not wearing it.

[Paige Desorbo]

And the bras? Soft, supportive and actually breathable.

[Hannah Berner]

Yes. Lord knows the girls need to breathe. Also, I need my PJs to breathe and be buttery, soft and stretchy enough for my dramatic tossing and turning at night. That's why I live in my Tommy John pajamas.

[Paige Desorbo]

Plus they're so cute because because they fit perfectly. Upgrade your drawer with Tommy John. Save 30% for a limited time at tommyjohn.comfort c site for details.

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[Jameela Jamil]

It'S about us and if you are also enjoying me as a person, I have a substack. It's called a low desire to please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna off now.

[Paige Desorbo]

By.