Leslie Liao and Skyler Higley

Summary

Podcast Summary: Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil – Episode Featuring Leslie Liao and Skyler Higley
Release Date: July 10, 2025

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Introduction to Guests

In this episode of Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil, host Skylar Higley welcomes comedian Leslie Liao and Skyler Higley to share their most mortifying and embarrassing moments. Emphasizing the show’s unique focus on celebrating life's disasters without seeking redemption or moral lessons, the trio delves into personal anecdotes that are both cringe-worthy and hilariously relatable.

Opening Banter and Setting the Tone [01:54 - 04:16]

Skylar sets the stage by explaining the podcast’s anti-inspiration ethos, where the goal is to revel in each other's misfortunes rather than seeking therapeutic insights. Leslie Liao, transitioning from a role in Netflix’s Human Resources to performing on the show, expresses nervousness about the triggering nature of their upcoming conversation:

Leslie Liao [02:28]: "I'm nervous because this is just gonna be a very triggering conversation for all three of us."

Skylar reassures her and emphasizes that the podcast thrives on honest, unfiltered discussions:

Skylar Higley [02:35]: "We're anti the insta therapy culture. We think you're really only alive when you're triggered, you know, and feeling terrible."

Embarrassing First Kiss Story [04:16 - 18:24]

The conversation quickly dives into their "wrong turns," with the unnamed guest recounting an awkward first kiss during high school:

Unnamed Guest [05:22]: "I was like, oh, what? I have to save the moment, I just blurted out, I love you."

Skylar humorously critiques the guest’s unconventional approach to diffusing the tension:

Skylar Higley [04:03]: "I love you too. Yeah, 100%."

Leslie shares her own cringe-worthy experience of having her car broken into multiple times in LA, which culminates in a bizarre interaction with a thief who misunderstood her stand-up joke notebook for a tragic script:

Leslie Liao [14:57]: "He thought it was a treatment for like a sad autobiographical story... I just wanted to get my notebook back."

This story highlights the intersection of personal trauma and comedic material, showcasing how Leslie turned a humiliating event into material for her acts.

Deep Dive into Personal Failures and Regrets [18:24 - 32:33]

After a brief advertising interlude, the guests continue sharing more personal misadventures. Skylar relates a terrifying encounter with sharks while swimming, juxtaposed with self-deprecating humor about her own perceived lack of heroism:

Skylar Higley [42:06]: "I'm going to be the only one left. I'm gonna get out of the water very slowly and quietly."

The conversation underscores the theme of making wrong turns not just in romantic pursuits but also in personal safety and decision-making.

Leslie’s High School Rager Incident [34:13 - 41:50]

Leslie recounts her 18th birthday party gone awry, where her attempt to host a covert drinking party at a hotel turns into chaos as security intervenes. In a split-second decision to defuse the situation, she attempts to emotionally manipulate the security guard by pretending not to recognize her friends:

Leslie Liao [38:09]: "I love you. Let's start a life together."

The resulting fallout leaves her ostracized by her friends, emphasizing the lasting impact of poor decision-making and the social consequences that follow.

Skylar’s Misguided Heroism [42:07 - 46:57]

Skylar shares a tale of perceived heroism where she warns fellow swimmers about an unexpected shark presence. Her overthought strategy to ensure everyone's safety results in a mix of commendation and awkwardness:

Skylar Higley [45:01]: "I just think, you know, if something happens and you're out there by the sharks, all those sharks are focused on you."

This story humorously critiques her own analytical approach, juxtaposing genuine concern with overcomplicated solutions.

Final Wrong Turns and Closing Remarks [47:12 - 53:09]

The episode wraps up with Skylar sharing a listener-submitted story about an uncomfortable date involving an inappropriate Pokémon request, further cementing the podcast's focus on awkward and cringe-worthy experiences:

Skylar Higley [48:07]: "I can honestly say I've never been more lost for words in my life."

Leslie and Skylar respond with playful banter, reinforcing the show's camaraderie and mutual understanding of each other's flawed moments.

Notable Quotes:

• Skylar Higley [02:35]: "We're anti the insta therapy culture."
• Leslie Liao [14:57]: "He thought it was a treatment for like a sad autobiographical story... I just wanted to get my notebook back."
• Unnamed Guest [05:22]: "I was like, oh, what? I have to save the moment, I just blurted out, I love you."
• Skylar Higley [42:06]: "I'm gonna get out of the water very slowly and quietly."

Conclusion

This episode of Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil offers a candid and humorous exploration of personal failures and embarrassing moments. Through Leslie Liao's tales of awkward first kisses and chaotic birthday parties, and Skylar Higley's comedic recounting of misguided heroism, listeners are reminded that everyone makes mistakes. The episode successfully maintains the podcast's ethos of celebrating life's missteps without seeking redemption, providing both laughter and relatable moments for those who feel their lives are a series of disasters.

For more stories like these and to share your own wrong turns, visit Wrong Turns Website or email your experiences to [e-mail].

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements and non-content sections as per the podcast guidelines.

Transcript

[Jameela Jamil]

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[Skylar Higley]

Hello and welcome to Wrong Turns, where dignity goes to die. We are a podcast that celebrates mishaps that involve no great wisdom, no morals, no redemption. We're anti the inspiration movement, pro commiseration and that's why I bring some of my favorite funny people to tell me their worst and unredeemable moments. And joining me today we have a woman who went from working at Netflix and Human Resources to performing on Netflix as a comedian. She also has performed on the Tonight show and is currently on tour around the country. It's Leslie Liao. How are you?

[Leslie Liao]

I'm good. I'm nervous.

[Skylar Higley]

Why?

[Leslie Liao]

Because this is just gonna be very triggering conversation for all three of us.

[Skylar Higley]

Yes, yes. And the entire audience. That's the goal. That's the goal. We're anti the insta therapy culture.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes.

[Skylar Higley]

We think you're really only alive when you're triggered, you know, and feeling terrible. Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

I came here for the therapeutic aspect.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Unnamed Guest]

Therapy. And this is the only time I'm going to talk about these things.

[Leslie Liao]

We're an anti therapy group.

[Skylar Higley]

You know what this is? This is perfect. You're more Gen Z in your mentality of, like, protect me at all costs. And you're a millennial of throw me in.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, let's go.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. Yeah. 100%. And the voice you're hearing there is a writer and comedian from After Midnight, Conan the Onion, and this year's Oscars, where he wrote the infamous joke where it's. The show's halfway through and it's time for Kendrick Kumar. Sorry? Kendrick Kumar. Kendrick Kumar, His Indian cousin, but Kendrick Lamar to call Drake a pedophile. It's Skylar Higley.

[Unnamed Guest]

The first time I've ever heard that joke ended with it, like, pronounced pedophile. Amazing. Amazing. I love.

[Leslie Liao]

Really elevated it.

[Skylar Higley]

Really. I threw some game show into it. I was like a pedophile.

[Unnamed Guest]

And here he is, the pedophile. Wow.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. If people just sniff it that bit, it's the pedophile. Scarlet.

[Leslie Liao]

What a good joke. That. That's a credit.

[Unnamed Guest]

I know. Crazy.

[Leslie Liao]

Like props. That was an awesome moment.

[Unnamed Guest]

Literally one joke and I've. It's been, like, all year now that I'm like, yeah, okay.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

All right.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, God. Kendrick Kumar is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.

[Unnamed Guest]

Let's do it. Kendrick Amar.

[Skylar Higley]

Sure. How are you guys doing?

[Unnamed Guest]

We're great.

[Skylar Higley]

Great. Other than. Other than nervous and triggered and ready for therapy.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

When it comes to disaster, is it. Is it a frequent occurrence or is it more of a kind of a rare shock horror?

[Unnamed Guest]

I avoid pain at all costs. And so I feel like once you get to be an adult, you know, the things that are gonna humiliate you.

[Leslie Liao]

I think as an adult, every day I think I experience micro pain.

[Skylar Higley]

Right, right, right.

[Leslie Liao]

Micro embarrassment, just like the daily things. And I just. I just let it hit me. And I do not go to therapy.

[Skylar Higley]

Right.

[Leslie Liao]

So this.

[Skylar Higley]

You save it all for Netflix?

[Leslie Liao]

I save it for the stage.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Save it for the microphone.

[Skylar Higley]

So do you have any micro humiliations to. To. To break us in with?

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, yeah. Well, give me.

[Skylar Higley]

I want examples. Oh.

[Unnamed Guest]

Of Michael.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. What do you just cross it. You could tell me about your first kiss.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, my God. Okay. Well, that was the one that the micro. I mean, I think this was actually quite big at the time. I was a, you know, a teenager. I was like 16, so it was like later for me. Everybody was all kissing younger than that. And I. I did not kiss.

[Skylar Higley]

I was 21.

[Leslie Liao]

Oh, that's a fine first age.

[Unnamed Guest]

So. So now I get to be like.

[Skylar Higley]

Ha ha. Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

So now I get to do the.

[Skylar Higley]

Whole mood fingered at 23.

[Unnamed Guest]

We actually have a perfect smooth moment coming up. So thank you for affirming me. Sixteen is fine.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes.

[Unnamed Guest]

That's more than one.

[Skylar Higley]

Wait, wait. Were you also affirming me or. No, no.

[Leslie Liao]

Let me just say on the record, absolutely strange.

[Unnamed Guest]

Perfectly normal. Only one affirmation per group, per story.

[Leslie Liao]

What age were you first kiss? I want to say junior high.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, okay.

[Leslie Liao]

Which was a bit younger than 16. I don't know why any of us need to be go and kissing.

[Unnamed Guest]

No, we're 16.

[Skylar Higley]

We don't need to. It's really weird.

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

But I do think that that is, like, more normal. And I think that the, you know, it starts to get whatever. And that's what I was feeling at the time. So, you know, we had gone on a date and it was. It was nice and really awkward. It was like my kind of first real date ever. And went to a corn maze. Cause I grew up in Utah. So that's what we did. You know, I go to take her to her door and we get out of the car and, you know, it's. I've seen movies and tv, so I know it's kiss time. And this is what.

[Leslie Liao]

Which is what you said right before.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah. Yes. Like, it's kiss time. Yeah, it's kiss time.

[Leslie Liao]

As you chased her through the maze.

[Unnamed Guest]

Look at the clock. It's kiss time. Running around. It's half past kiss time. Wait, come back. Kiss time. Yeah. So why. I don't know why it went awkward. So we. We were at her door and, you know, I. I like go. Go to lean in. But then I also don't. There's like three different, like, body movements you need to do when you're kissing somebody.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay. Tell me what they are. Because, like, I've really.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, of course.

[Skylar Higley]

I know very little.

[Unnamed Guest]

Well, I know because you. You just did it.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. Yeah. And then I didn't, like, take off into the world. I just kept at pretty much at that rate. So I'm. I met six.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

But one of those was on screen And I'm not supposed to count it. Whatever, I'm counting it. I need to beef up my number. Go on.

[Unnamed Guest]

But like, you know, you close your eyes, which is, you know, you. You close your eyes and lean forward and all that. But I didn't know like the, you know, the directionality of it.

[Skylar Higley]

Right, right.

[Unnamed Guest]

Sort of. Whatever. So I just kind of like first then hugged and was like. But then it was weird because she didn't know what I was going. You know that thing where you like don't know like what?

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

And you're like, okay, well this is a hug. But I was like, oh. But I like wanted to kiss. So then I go on second approach, you know, kind of go back around. And it was just. It was awkward because it was like.

[Skylar Higley]

Wait, so you go in for the hug, you pull it back out.

[Leslie Liao]

Pull back out. I like that his eyes are closed.

[Unnamed Guest]

And he's like, uh huh.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, exactly.

[Unnamed Guest]

It's like an eyes closed sort of.

[Skylar Higley]

Just a Ray Charles moment.

[Leslie Liao]

Fainting.

[Unnamed Guest]

No, exactly. She thought that medical attention was needed. But then, you know, it sort of happens like a quick like the quickest kiss of ever. Just like a.

[Skylar Higley]

And did you even know to angle your face or you just went straight?

[Unnamed Guest]

It was a nose on nose, straight.

[Skylar Higley]

Down, straight on, collision, vertical collision.

[Unnamed Guest]

And I suddenly I had felt intrinsically like it didn't go well. Like that wasn't good. And I knew that it wasn't like the movies. Yeah. And so then I just felt all this anxiety rising up in me. Cause I wanted to save the moment. Cause it like wasn't good. And so then I just blurted out, I love you. First one straight. I was like, look, the only way to save this is a commitment to marriage and all going all the way. It was just as awkward. Just. And again, play by play, hug, kiss. I love you. She's just like in her doorway, like, okay, I love you too. And that was really nice of her.

[Leslie Liao]

That's such a woman thing to say to just like. You know what I mean? Just let, let's just give this to him.

[Skylar Higley]

I love you too. Yeah, 100%.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, no.

[Skylar Higley]

And now they're married. So you've been together ever since? Yeah, no, she's a lesbian now.

[Unnamed Guest]

She's much happier.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay. You did it.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

You did it, Joe.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, and I did it. And that's my story. Really? Really.

[Skylar Higley]

Did anyone at school find out about it?

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, they found out. Oh, they definitely. They. It was also like we were friends before and then we started sort of we were dating for a little bit, and so we were in the same group of friends. So everybody that was in our friend group all found out about it. And they were kind, though. They were nice. They weren't like, love you every time you left. Oh, God. Yeah. He hit me with the smooth all the time. Oh, my God.

[Leslie Liao]

And that's the first time you said, oh, I love you? I'm guessing. I mean, to. To like.

[Unnamed Guest]

To a person that I felt, like, romantically about.

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yes. But it wasn't real. It was more of a. It was more of like a. Just a response to anything, you know? Like anything that I would have felt, really. I didn't know what to say in that moment, so I was just like, what? The first thing that comes to mind.

[Leslie Liao]

You know, guy's like, fight or flight, Is I love you. Fight is love.

[Unnamed Guest]

I'm getting robbed, and I'm like, I love you.

[Skylar Higley]

I love you.

[Unnamed Guest]

I love you.

[Skylar Higley]

Please. That would work. I really do. I really do. Just pull your pants down and say you love me.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, I love you.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Let's make this work.

[Leslie Liao]

We have a future.

[Unnamed Guest]

No prenup. No prenup. I'll just do it. Things are crazy in this world, man. We gotta make it work.

[Skylar Higley]

That's cute.

[Unnamed Guest]

In five minutes if we both still don't have our wallets. What's happening?

[Skylar Higley]

You know, I don't think I've ever had the doorway kiss time. I don't think I've. I don't think I've ever had that moment where. Where we are, like, lingering and I'm doing some sort of a suggestive look that says, you can land on my face, that sounds really pornographic, but, you know, I. I've never had that sort of romantic moment. I. As soon as I can sense that someone is starting to look at me a lot or they're starting to get physically close to me, I have to just call out the moment. I have to call out and then narrate the moment where I'm just.

[Unnamed Guest]

The most awkward thing ever. As soon as someone's. You want to kiss now? Huh? This man want to kiss now?

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. Honestly. Honestly. I'm like. I'm like, are you trying to kiss me?

[Leslie Liao]

Are you planning on kissing me?

[Skylar Higley]

And they're like, yeah, I was, but if you don't want me to. I just. I can't tell if you like me or not because you keep turning your back towards me. And I was like, no, no, I just. I like you. I like you very. I like you fine. I like you just fine. I like you very much. And it was like. Okay, so do you want to kiss? Yes. I think we should kiss right now. It is so horrifying. It's so scary and tense now. I know. I lean in for a hug, I lean back, I kiss. And then I say, I love you. Now I have a strategy. Thank you. If I'm ever seeing again, I will. I will do the Skyler. Thank you. You're so generous. Leslie, what about you? Any micro humiliations that come to mind?

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah, I have. Just weird. My. What comes to my mind is like, I. I lived in LA for 20 years. I started standup here. And a very LA thing is like, your car gets broken into. That happened to me like four times in LA in the span of like a year.

[Skylar Higley]

All right, Nice car.

[Leslie Liao]

No, not even nice car. Just. I openly left computer tablets on the front.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh.

[Leslie Liao]

It wasn't even like the car, just.

[Unnamed Guest]

Gold bars in the backseat.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, that's so obvious that if I was a robber, I would think that's a bomb, right? Like, yeah, I was such a. Crazy for them.

[Leslie Liao]

Like, it was like a briefcase full of money open on the front. I don't.

[Unnamed Guest]

I don't like that. I don't like. I'm not. We're not doing. What was the car wearing? I don't like that.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, I'm sorry. No, I was asking. No, no, no.

[Unnamed Guest]

But.

[Leslie Liao]

But after the third time, it was literally like, what is the Ralph 4 wearing? It was okay.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, it was.

[Leslie Liao]

It was so, like, my friends stopped having empathy. They were like, this is your fault. Like, this is your fault. I'm like, yes, it is my fault.

[Skylar Higley]

She left a blank signed checkbook in the window.

[Unnamed Guest]

Every single one of them.

[Leslie Liao]

And just like, the door cracked open. But it was so shitty. But, yeah, so I got. I. I became like homies with the guys that fixed windows. Like, I just. I was like, I just texted. We were on like, a text basis. I was like, hey, it's Leslie again. Like, this time it was a back left, whatever. So. So, yeah, my car got broken into. They would take the typical stuff, like computer, laptop, all this stuff. But then one night, they stole my. My joke notebook. So you have a joke notebook, right?

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

So we all do a version of, like, we write notes in our phone. But I, at the time, I had a notebook. So they took that and my world shattered. Like, it. Like, my laptop could be replaced, my other things could be replaced, makeup, whatever. So I remember I wrote my name and my cell phone number on the notebook and it came in handy because later on I got a text message from this like mystery man who said he, he, he said he didn't steal it. He said he found it. He said he found the notebook on Sunset Boulevard or whatever. And this was like when I started standup so it wasn't like he saw my name Leslie Liao and it was like Conan o'. Brien. It was just like whatever, Leslie Lau. He had no idea that I was a standup. And he starts texting me in detail about my notebook and how fascinating he read it. He thought it was so fascinating. What he never called it once was funny.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, I really thought the story was going in the worst direction. I thought it was going to be like, yo, so I just broke into your car, I stole your stuff and what I got to let you know is them jokes is trash. That is what I thought was about to happen.

[Leslie Liao]

That's what you thought?

[Unnamed Guest]

That's my, that's the worst case scenario. As long as you're not the worst. That's my nightmare.

[Skylar Higley]

Or he found the joke book is like, these are great jokes. I'm going to steal them. And now it's Matt Ryan.

[Leslie Liao]

Love Skyler. It's Matt Ryan.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

I love you.

[Unnamed Guest]

You see a guy with a face mask on stage being like, hey, what's up? My name's Leslie.

[Leslie Liao]

Really hard growing up. Asian American suck, man. You know what I mean? Like, but it kind of was that. So he, he didn't, he didn't know I did stand up. He didn't know I was comedian obviously. But he's reading it and what he thought my notebook was, was not a joke of, was not a notebook of jokes. He thought it was a treatment for like a sad autobiographical.

[Skylar Higley]

Jesus Christ.

[Leslie Liao]

He was like, oh, this is such a heartbreaking story about a sad woman who just can't find love and acceptance. World man. The main character, she's so like selfish and just a horrible person. And like we gotta. You got legs in the story like and, and I'm like, he's like trying to like develop the screenplay with me.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh my God.

[Leslie Liao]

And the whole thing is like I'm livid cuz my, my joke notebook clearly is bombing. But I'm livid because I want my notebook back. So I just gotta get on his side. I'm just like, yeah, like maybe we should develop it together. Maybe we should like meet up at Erewhon or at a coffee shop or something and like really like bang out this treatment. Cause I just wanted to get it back. Like he wasn't offering me my notebook back.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh.

[Leslie Liao]

So I had to kind of trick him to be like, what if. I mean, you have really good notes. Maybe we should like, meet up together. So I tricked him to meet me at the grove to get my notebook back. And I have to find the notebook, but he gave it back to me. And he was clearly like, out of sorts. He's like a character. But he wrote something in my notebook and I have to find it. I must have it somewhere. And he, like, finished the story for me.

[Unnamed Guest]

No.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, it happens at the end.

[Leslie Liao]

You know what? This is so traumatizing that I swear I buried it so deep that I can't remember this is how painful it was. But I think I have it. Maybe I left it at like, my parents house or something. But he like, finished the story and maybe she did find love or something.

[Skylar Higley]

Aw.

[Leslie Liao]

I know, I know.

[Unnamed Guest]

This is so sad. Wait, can I ask, you said it was like your first year of stand.

[Leslie Liao]

Up or something like that early on.

[Unnamed Guest]

That is like, I. First of all, I feel you. Because I do feel like if somebody found my joke notebook.

[Skylar Higley]

Crazy.

[Unnamed Guest]

The. The original premises are literally like, my adopted father never liked me. My parents got divorced. You know, all this stuff, sad facts. It's like dark and you're like, yeah, but then it's.

[Skylar Higley]

Well, you don't like the punchline. You just write the beginning part, the.

[Unnamed Guest]

Bullet point, and then think about what's funny about it later. But yeah, that's what a lot of jokes are. It's just trauma that is then entertaining.

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

If you just read it, you're like.

[Leslie Liao]

It'S just like sad memories of your life.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Nothing funny. So I remember this man for forever. Like, he's a part of me. Wow. Yeah, he's a part of me.

[Unnamed Guest]

And that man's name was Judd Apatow.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. You were so mad. That's such a fucking great story. Okay, we're gonna be right back after the break. And we're back.

[Leslie Liao]

What a long break.

[Skylar Higley]

I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

In the summer, all of Oregon is our playground, thanks to our incredible park system. That's why it's so cool that Oregon lottery gameplay, like video lottery or cash pop, helps support tons of parks projects statewide, like accessible trails at Silver Falls State park or up upgrades to your favorite dog park in Newburgh. It's just one way a little lottery play from many Oregonians can add up to a lot of good the Oregon Lottery. Together, we do good things. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. Must be 18 or older to play.

[Leslie Liao]

If you're sleeping hot and sweaty, it's impossible to get a good night's rest. And if your solutions are blasting the AC high all summer and doing constant pillow flips, you've got to check out Coop sleepgoods. Coop combines advanced cooling technology and personalized comfort to create pillows that help hot sleepers stay sweat free all summer. The fabrics are breathable and cool to the touch, so you feel an instant chill the moment you lay down. Designed for 50% more breathability, the innovative fill helps you sleep cooler and more comfortably. They also have Tencel sheets that are naturally cooling, lightweight, and feel buttery soft on your skin. If it's not your coolest sleep ever, return it with no questions asked during their 100 night sleep better guarantee. And right now, you can get 20% off your first order. Visit coopsleepgoods.com comedy to redeem your offer. That's C-O-O-P sleepgoods.com comedy.

[Skylar Higley]

I hope you feel really rested. Tell me, what were your wrong turns?

[Unnamed Guest]

My wrong turns? Well, there's been many. So when I was kind of similar age that the kiss happened, I get this text message from Kiss time. Yeah, around kiss time. 200 kiss time ad or something.

[Skylar Higley]

We're now like, I think naming that era of your life. Kiss time.

[Unnamed Guest]

Kiss time. Yeah, 100%. All of these are kiss related. It's funny that it's called Kiss time because ironically there was no kissing around the time. But I get this text message from a really pretty girl at school and she says, hey, come over, we should make out. And this I know it's kiss time. That's what I was like, oh my God, it's kiss time. Someone's telling me it's kiss time. No one tells me it's kiss time.

[Skylar Higley]

And were you like, yes, this works. Or were you like, why me? Because if the most handsome boy at school would have texted me that, I.

[Unnamed Guest]

Think I would see and you were smarter than me, Jameela.

[Leslie Liao]

Right?

[Unnamed Guest]

You are smarter than me. I was like, you know how, like, it's male audacity.

[Skylar Higley]

You were like, of course I was.

[Unnamed Guest]

I wasn't like, of course. I was like, you know what? Things have been hard and if anything in this world good can happen, I'm going to be on it. I'm just, you know, believe, trust, faith. I was religious growing up.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, I love you.

[Unnamed Guest]

I was like, things, things can happen.

[Skylar Higley]

Like, God is good.

[Unnamed Guest]

God is good all the time. This is what I've been praying for. So I, like, I have to convince my mom to let me borrow her minivan. We have a terrible minivan. We're, like, really broke. So I have to convince my mom to let me borrow the van. And she, the whole time, is really scared because it's late. She assumes I'm about to go sell drugs or something.

[Skylar Higley]

She doesn't think it's kiss time. She thinks it's fine.

[Unnamed Guest]

She doesn't think it's kiss time. But I didn't want to. I don't think even my mom thought that I was fucking. I think if you had seen me in high school.

[Skylar Higley]

Prime time.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay.

[Unnamed Guest]

Prime time, for sure.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay.

[Leslie Liao]

It's more likely my son's about to rob a bank than kiss him for sure.

[Unnamed Guest]

For sure. And I, looking back, I could have just told her because then she would have been probably more excited, but I didn't want to say because I was, you know, shy and insecure. So I have to convince her, and she's like, what's going on? Is everything okay? Like, you can tell me anything, and.

[Skylar Higley]

You have a nervous energy because the prettiest girl in school has texted you.

[Unnamed Guest]

Right?

[Skylar Higley]

And I'm just like, you want to get over it?

[Unnamed Guest]

We can't talk anymore. Give it, give it, give it, give it, give it. You know, I had, like, the. No, I need. I gotta go now.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

But I convinced my mom to let me use the van. And I get in the van. Obviously, it, like, takes, like, a couple times to start because it sucked. And I drive over to her neighborhood, and I know where her neighborhood is, but I forgot, like, where her actual house is because we had been friends and, like, hung out in the same, like, larger group.

[Skylar Higley]

I thought, you're going to be like, you know, because it's where I always stand outside her window because I wait for her.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, obviously, I'm throwing rocks at her window. I'm like, it finally worked. I keep throwing rocks with the note that says it's kiss time. And she. She won't, like, text me back. And I'm, like, in her neighborhood now. And I'm like, like, what's. What is going. What's going on? And I keep texting and calling and whatever. Then she texts me back, like, oh, yeah, we were just playing truth or dare, and I got dared to text you to come make out. And I was just like, I hate this.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, I hate kids so much.

[Unnamed Guest]

Okay.

[Skylar Higley]

It's so horrible.

[Leslie Liao]

But you kissed her anyways.

[Unnamed Guest]

No, I didn't. I didn't.

[Skylar Higley]

I didn't find her I didn't find her. There's a whole movement about that. Yeah, there's a whole movement. You can't do that.

[Unnamed Guest]

You can't do that when they don't like it.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes.

[Skylar Higley]

Right.

[Unnamed Guest]

No, I wasn't. No. So then I just went home and my mom was like, what was that? What was going on? And I was like, oh, it was nothing.

[Skylar Higley]

It was just some crime.

[Unnamed Guest]

I just did some selling crack and whatever.

[Skylar Higley]

Less embarrassing.

[Unnamed Guest]

I'm different now, Mom.

[Skylar Higley]

I'm different.

[Unnamed Guest]

I've been changed.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah. So it was. It was deeply shameful because it was also like a larger group of kids that were hanging out without me that was like, you know, text him. We're playing truth or dare. Text him and say, you want to make out. That'd be so funny.

[Skylar Higley]

People close enough to you to have your number.

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah, well, she had your number.

[Unnamed Guest]

She had it already. But it was people who were not my closest friends, but, like, people that I considered somewhat my friends.

[Skylar Higley]

Were you quite popular at school?

[Unnamed Guest]

Yes and no. Like, popular in the sense that. Yeah, I knew a lot of people and we were all in a group, but I also felt like. I don't think. I feel like I was sort of like a joke to most people.

[Skylar Higley]

I wasn't like, I was a punchline.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

People didn't know my name. They called me fat. And like, to the. Which is racist, but. Yeah. Yeah, but I. But to the point where. Because, you know, when you're 12, you're just so adaptive. So when kids would be like, hey, fat. It'd be like, a new kid would call me that, and I'd be like, oh, my God, she knows my name.

[Leslie Liao]

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

[Skylar Higley]

And basically famous. Yeah, I had that.

[Unnamed Guest]

No, I had it where. Because I went to a predominantly white school. And then there was, like, a year where kids would. When they'd rap, they would replace the N word with Skyler and all these white kids.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, my God.

[Unnamed Guest]

And it'd be like the Kendrick Lamar, like, man down, where you from, Sky? Skyler. And I'm like, not even joking. Not even playing. That happened.

[Skylar Higley]

That is wild. Okay, Sorry. So, yeah. So it's a large group of kids who have picked you.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

As the one to prank. They know you're not out there kissing. They know it's going to be a big deal.

[Leslie Liao]

Was this pre or post. Your first I love you kiss?

[Unnamed Guest]

I want to say it was post. I want to say this is about a year later with.

[Skylar Higley]

And these fuckers all know that that happened.

[Leslie Liao]

That's what I was wondering.

[Unnamed Guest]

I don't think they knew that. I think this is a separate group. But, I mean, they could have known.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you had 20 groups of friends.

[Unnamed Guest]

Whoever.

[Skylar Higley]

Fuck you.

[Unnamed Guest]

I was real popular. I was real popular. I was a joke to everybody. So, yeah, that was like, really, like, I was so, like, angry and upset and humiliated and just like, oh, these people. Because that was the thing. It's like, oh, they're my friends. I'm popular. But I'm like, they. They don't take me seriously.

[Skylar Higley]

That's unkind.

[Unnamed Guest]

And it's. It's built a resentment that has lasted, I think, essentially forever.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, of course. That's your villain origin story.

[Unnamed Guest]

And it's how I became a villain.

[Skylar Higley]

This is what. I know what you did last summer was actually based on this moment.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yep.

[Leslie Liao]

I don't like. Yeah, I don't like this. I don't like how.

[Skylar Higley]

I don't like any of the kids at your school.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, there you go.

[Skylar Higley]

At all.

[Leslie Liao]

Did you guys ever have, like, in school, we had sleepovers and, like, at the sleep. Well, I don't know why kids are the word. At the sleepover. These are my friends. I would fall asleep first, and they would put, like, butter on my forehead.

[Skylar Higley]

No.

[Leslie Liao]

And then I'm half asleep, and I'm like, God, something's on my forehead. And I would just be half asleep, like, wiping my bangs. And I'm like, am I sweating? And I'm, like, mortified, and they're just giggling and laughing. I'm like, what's the little game here? That, like, we're friends?

[Unnamed Guest]

Butter.

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

Really crazy.

[Unnamed Guest]

I'm stuck on butter.

[Skylar Higley]

They used to do the classic to me. I would always fall asleep first as well, where they just put your hand in the. In the water so that you piss in the sleeping. Yes, it did.

[Leslie Liao]

It does.

[Unnamed Guest]

Damn.

[Leslie Liao]

And does.

[Skylar Higley]

I still do.

[Unnamed Guest]

Put my hand in water.

[Skylar Higley]

I love to dream of the ocean. Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

But, like, that's like, a physical prank where, like, even though very mean, not nice, don't love it, foul. It's. It was. And also, like, don't ruin my skin, please. Like, my skin was. But this is an emotional prank. Yeah, that's why I don't like that.

[Skylar Higley]

I don't like dark.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, it was really dark. That's. Yeah. So. Well, and now there's part two to the story. Okay, now in this story, now that I've built the empathy now, let's say around this same time, Kiss time. Ad. I've become this Villain where I'm, like, resentful of other people when this kind of stuff happens. And I get a text one day where that same girl who had texted me before, one of her friends had given some guy at school my number as her number. She did not tell me that this was gonna happen.

[Skylar Higley]

Wait, the hot girl that texted you in the first place?

[Unnamed Guest]

Her friend.

[Skylar Higley]

Her friend.

[Leslie Liao]

Her.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, her close friend. That girl had given some guy at school. Like, he asked for her number. She gave him my number instead of her number. So this guy's texting me, like, and.

[Skylar Higley]

Have you been given a heads up about this?

[Unnamed Guest]

Not at all.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay.

[Unnamed Guest]

So he goes, hey, it's Jacob. Whatever. I don't think his name was Jacob. I don't remember his white name, but let's just say it was Jacob. And he texts me, being like, you know, what's going on? Let's hang out. Whatever. And I'm like. Or he goes, is this, you know, this girl's number? And, you know, what should have happened is I should have been like, what the hell? Like, no, you know, and then what I did is for you paid it forward. I sort of. I paid it forward. I proceed to catfish this man.

[Leslie Liao]

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

[Skylar Higley]

I knew it.

[Unnamed Guest]

For the afternoon to be like. And I didn't ever do, like, the, oh, hey, let's hook up. I thought that would be really mean.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay.

[Unnamed Guest]

But I did a slightly less mean, yet still mean thing that was like, oh, yeah, come over. Let's hang out. And I give him my friend's address to go to. He goes to his house, and I tell him, and he just comes out and goes. He goes, that's not funny. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I guess not. And he just comes out and tells him, like, oh, she's not here. Whatever. And I was, like, sort of down the street, like, playing basketball in my neighbor's yard, and I saw him pull up. And as soon as I saw him pull up to the house, I went, oh, this is awful. What am I doing? I really had that moment of looking at the blood on my hands, like, oh, I'm just doing this because I'm, like, hurt and angry, and now I've, like, been weird to somebody else. What was the point of this?

[Skylar Higley]

Welcome to the entire concept of Twitter.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

So it was a very much, like, hurt people, hurt people kind of thing.

[Leslie Liao]

100%.

[Unnamed Guest]

I realized, like, only later that I'm like, oh, I just did the same thing that happened to me. Oh, I guess that's how not resolving trauma works. When something bad happens to you and you get angry, and then you start doing that same thing to other people, you're just like, oh, I just made the world worse. I didn't do any. That wasn't good.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

So then I. Then I was humiliated with all my friends that were there because I was like, isn't this gonna be so funny, you guys? And they were all like, aww.

[Skylar Higley]

And it was just quite sad. Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

And then I was just like.

[Skylar Higley]

And now there's a whole. Yeah, now you're the bad guy.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, now I'm a bad guy because.

[Skylar Higley]

A victim no more.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah. And so, you know, now I'm sort of back in the middle. Then no kiss. Then no kiss for somebody else. And now, hey, now I'm here.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, yeah. There's on wrong turns.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, yeah, wrong turns. And that was.

[Skylar Higley]

I appreciate you owning up to being a piece of shit.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, I was.

[Skylar Higley]

I really do. I do. We've all had those moments, those real deep piece of shit moments, and I.

[Unnamed Guest]

Realized it right away, you know, where I was like, what the hell?

[Leslie Liao]

That's a good moment for you. That's a good moment. Like, you had a visual of, like, how my pain. I just transferred it on this guy. And so, Skyler, I like. I like imagining you. And this was high school, right?

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Just sending people to different addresses, like, catfishing. And all these, like, men full of love are just looking for someone to.

[Skylar Higley]

Kiss all over, start the incel movement.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, yeah, that was me. I didn't tell you about that.

[Unnamed Guest]

I started our red pill on Reddit.

[Leslie Liao]

Starting, like, random numbers, texting men, like, I want to kiss you. Come over, and they're just like, where did you grow up again?

[Unnamed Guest]

Salt Lake City. Utah.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes. What a beautiful, innocent town of just men looking for love.

[Unnamed Guest]

They're really looking for love.

[Leslie Liao]

Looking for love.

[Unnamed Guest]

They say, I love you immediately in.

[Leslie Liao]

The corn maze, like, just trying to kiss someone.

[Skylar Higley]

Have you ever paid your trauma forward?

[Leslie Liao]

Oh, I'm sure I have. If you've been, like, stealing, stealing from.

[Skylar Higley]

Breaking into other people's cars in worse.

[Leslie Liao]

Ways than in my 30s, I absolutely have.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay, great, great, great.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes. That's like a different podcast.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay. Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I. Men. Yes.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, okay. I can't wait to start that podcast just to hear that story.

[Unnamed Guest]

People hurt people with Leslie and Sky.

[Leslie Liao]

Wait, Leslie or kiss time.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, kiss time.

[Leslie Liao]

Okay, sorry. We're developing a podcast on your podcast. Sorry. So disrespectful.

[Skylar Higley]

We'll discuss more of that during this break.

[Jameela Jamil]

In the summer, all of Oregon is our playground thanks to our incredible park system. That's why it's so cool that Oregon Lots of lottery gameplay like video lottery or cash pop helps support tons of parks projects statewide like accessible trails at Silver Falls State park or upgrades to your favorite dog park in Newburgh. It's just one way a little lottery play from many Oregonians can add up to a lot of good the Oregon Lottery Together, we do good things. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. Must be 18 or older to play. If you're sleeping hot and sweaty, it's impossible to get a good night's sleep. And if your solutions are blasting the AC high all summer and doing constant pillow flips, you've got to check out Coop Sleep Goods. Coop combines advanced cooling technology and personalized comfort to create pillows that help hot sleepers stay sweat free all summer. The fabrics are breathable and cool to the touch, so you feel an instant chill the moment you lay down. Designed for 50% more breathability, the innovative fill helps you sleep cooler and more comfortably. They also have Tencel sheets that are naturally cooling, lightweight, and feel buttery soft on your skin. If it's not your coolest sleep ever, return it with no questions asked using their 100 Night Sleep Better Guarantee. And right now, you can get 20% off your first order. Visit coopsleepgoods.com comedy to redeem your offer. That's c O-O-Psleepgoods.com comedy.

[Skylar Higley]

And we're back. Skylar, thank you for that. I really appreciate the full circle of all of that. That was. It was special. It was deep. I feel like I know so much more about you, and I both like and dislike parts of you now. But I think overall top guy, that's what you owned up to it.

[Unnamed Guest]

That's what honesty is, man.

[Skylar Higley]

Exactly.

[Unnamed Guest]

It's dark.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. So true. Leslie, tell me your wrong turn.

[Leslie Liao]

This is my Mine was a high school story as well and kind of an origin story of the woman I am today. Okay, so, okay, my 18th birthday. That's a big birthday, but it's a tricky one because you're really fun. You have a lot of most of us maybe like have friends and 18 is when you're graduating high school. Is that right?

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

So, however, it's illegal to drink. But everyone knows in high school, you know, people dabble in the booze. So I definitely dabbled in the booze in high school. My 18th birthday, I wanted to have a huge party with my friends and drink. Obviously I couldn't have my parents help me with that. They didn't know that I drank. So what happened was my parents got me as a gift a hotel room with what they thought was my three best girlfriends. Okay. For like a cute movie night slumber party. Like stay up all night watching rom coms. Get a cute dinner at the hotel.

[Skylar Higley]

Get an ice cream sundae.

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah, Go get ice cream. Walk around and maybe shop. Yes. Praise the Lord. Go to church the next day and pray, you know, the next morning, you know, get brunch. A very innocent thing, what I did was I disobeyed their trust. And I invited like half the high school to my hotel. Absolutely. It was a super bad hangover. But in a hotel room, not at someone's house. This is worse than a house. This is a. A company, a hotel.

[Skylar Higley]

It's an establishment with a staff, stitches everywhere.

[Leslie Liao]

So we're doing very illegal things.

[Unnamed Guest]

You're saying you were having crime time?

[Leslie Liao]

Is that what you call.

[Unnamed Guest]

It's crime time?

[Leslie Liao]

It's crime time. It's kiss time. It's booze time. It's, it's, you know, make out time.

[Skylar Higley]

Did you make out with anyone?

[Leslie Liao]

I did not. I did not. There was guys that I liked, that I invited, but I was, for whatever reason, my focus was just like fun. I was like the madame. I was like, I want people to come over and make out in my presence.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

For my birthday. But like I wanted to watch.

[Unnamed Guest]

I was like such a creep.

[Skylar Higley]

I like Quentin Tarantino.

[Leslie Liao]

I don't know why that's what I wanted for my birthday was all my friends to make out in front of me for some reason.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. So just walking around wanking. All right.

[Unnamed Guest]

For that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Like a robe with like, you know, whatever. Like, I don't know, give it. Giving people notes like, oh my God.

[Unnamed Guest]

So different from my.

[Leslie Liao]

But like it was a certified rager. There were so many people in this hotel room blasting music, screaming, laughing. My dumb 18 year old brain didn't realize that this obviously could get us in trouble with the hotel.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. Because that's also. They're seeing a bunch of children continuously enter.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes.

[Skylar Higley]

In droves.

[Leslie Liao]

And in my mind it was safer because we weren't at my parents house. I felt like this was the safe space to do it. It very much was not. So it was like nearing like midnight where people are trying to go to sleep. Obviously we're sharing a wall with innocent people trying to go to sleep.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Security finds out that there's this like high school rager happening in this hotel. So. And it's like, it's like a. It's a movie. It is like. And we're drinking like, I loved Malibu rum. Oh, I would just pound it. We were drinking all the, like, high school, like.

[Unnamed Guest]

So you were drinking like a high schooler?

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah, yeah. Like green sour apple, whatever.

[Skylar Higley]

Anything that makes your tongue go blue.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, like hypnotic whatever's. Yeah, whatever's like a glow in the dark. Liquid Smirnoff ice. Whatever. So I get a knock on the door and there's so many knock on the doors that I think it's like another friend coming. But this time it's a knock on the door and it's the hotel security and they look not happy. And I have a. It's a fight or flight. I have a split second decision.

[Unnamed Guest]

I love you.

[Leslie Liao]

So I reached out and I kissed him. Yeah, I kissed him and I said, I love you. Let's start a life together.

[Skylar Higley]

But she hugged first.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yes, you gotta hug first. You gotta hug first. So it's okay.

[Leslie Liao]

So split split second decision, knowing that I could get in trouble is I start crying. And I said, oh, my God, thank God you're here. I've been trying to get in touch with you guys. I'm so sorry. I don't know who any of these people are in my hotel. I need them to leave. Like, I just want to go to sleep. They keep everyone else, Everyone. And. And I point to like my best friend right at her face and I go, I don't know who she is. And all my friends. Yeah, all my friends go, this bitch. And I'm wearing like. And I'm wearing like a birthday crown. And like, you know what I mean? It's clearly like, it's clearly my birthday.

[Unnamed Guest]

And I'm like, I just, like, I.

[Leslie Liao]

Want them to leave and I'm too scared to like, start a fight with them. Like, I don't know them. And I think the security is not dumb. They know that I'm. I think. I think that he and I like locked eyes and said, let's do this together. Because I think. I don't. I've never worked at a hotel, but, like, wouldn't they get in trouble if on their property there's a hundred, not 118 year olds drinking 100. So I think both of us were like, let's. Let's do this. Let's lock in. So then security just starts kicking everyone out. Except for. For me because I'm crying and it's my hotel. Like, it's under my parents name or whatever. So. So all my friends just look at me with just dis. Like the dirtiest look, like, are you. And, and this is way before Uber. So I'm. I don't know how everyone's getting home. I'm just sending all my friends to their death.

[Unnamed Guest]

Wow.

[Leslie Liao]

Just like off, off, like off this property. And they're looking at me like, you're. You're dead. You're dead to me. Oh. And honestly, I'm like, you know, God, I'm 18, I can make new friends.

[Unnamed Guest]

Wow.

[Leslie Liao]

I got a whole life to live. I can't. I'm not going to jail for this. I'll make new friends. I'll be fine. I'm not getting in trouble from my parents for this. Like, I can't. They can't find out that I'm drinking, that I invited people over, whatever. So they all just slowly get kicked out. And I'm like near blackout at this. Like, I'm a young drunk idiot. So I remember everyone just leaving and knowing that the party's over. Not everyone knew that I. It's my fault. Whatever. Um, so. So they all start leaving. I don't get in trouble. But obviously I had the same group of three girls who. We were gonna stay the night at the hotel. So they were able to stay, but basically all night I just am barfing because I'm. I'm. I drink everything under the sun. And my best friends had to help me through this, like, you know, barfing my brains out while I basically told them that I don't know them and I tried to get them kicked out.

[Skylar Higley]

You tried to send them to jail?

[Leslie Liao]

Wow. I tried to send them to the jail because I'm not going down. That's who I am.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

I am not going down.

[Unnamed Guest]

It flips like in like Sopranos.

[Leslie Liao]

Oh, I love it.

[Skylar Higley]

This is like a piece of shit. Like, special, isn't it?

[Unnamed Guest]

Can I.

[Skylar Higley]

This is amazing.

[Unnamed Guest]

I actually do want to say, I want to thank you for this story because I was worried I was going to be the only one who admitted to something completely stereopathic.

[Leslie Liao]

No, no, no.

[Unnamed Guest]

This makes me feel a lot better.

[Leslie Liao]

And I want everyone listening to this. I will. I want my best friend. I will flip on you.

[Unnamed Guest]

So best friends in quotation.

[Leslie Liao]

Listen, listen to me. I'll flip on you.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, you.

[Leslie Liao]

I'll flip on everyone in this room. I don't care how close.

[Skylar Higley]

It's the speed at which you did it.

[Leslie Liao]

That was absolutely petrifying it was psychotic.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh.

[Leslie Liao]

I was 18. It's a very formative.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

In your life. And I think there's. I think I'm a little bit of support Sopranos inside. I'm a little.

[Skylar Higley]

I like that. I like this in both of you. I. But partially, I like this because I am also a piece of. Like, if we're sharing.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

I was. I was going for a swim. I think it was, like, June. It was in Los Angeles, like, further down the coast. And as I'm. I'm. I'm far out, and there's no one in the water. So I'm like, sick. I'm far out, and then I see a fin go past me, and I'm like, fucking. No way is that a shark fin. I've never been. I'm from England. I've never been around a shark fin. I thought that the waters were too warm for that sort of thing to happen. And there's a big fin, and then I look around and there's another fin further away. And then another fin and another fin, and I look down and there are great whites around me in Los Angeles, California. This is maybe 2015, I think. I've never experienced anything like this. And the only time I've ever seen a great white was in Jaws. So I start fucking shitting myself. Now there are some other people who are now in the sort of shallow part of the water, and they are also unaware. We've all missed the signs that say don't go in the water because it's nursing season. Right. So that's why the sharks come. Nursing season, I guess, is. I think that's what it's called. It's like. It's shark kiss time. It's time. No. So they're giving birth. They're all pregnant. So. So that's probably why I haven't been attacked, because I'm delicious. Right. I think we can all agree I'm objectively delicious. Yeah. No, exactly. And so that's why. It was just because they were pregnant, because otherwise they absolutely would have found me. Delicious. So they're. They're, like, in labor, I guess, or giving birth or something like that. And so there's loads of them that are all congregating and. And we have been told not to go in the water. We've missed the signs. There's no lifeguard or whatever because they presume people are not stupid and they're just gonna go in the water anyway. So I see these people. Some of them are younger than me, Some of them Are older than me. They look vulnerable. And I could just warn them, like, hey, get out of the water. There's loads of sharks here. But instead, I'm like, I'm furthest out. So then I'll be the only one left. I'm gonna get out of the water very slowly and quietly from very far away, and then I will warn them if they're still alive. And so that's what I do. And I'm not 18. I'm not 17. I'm 31. I'm 31.

[Unnamed Guest]

Did a calculation.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Really?

[Skylar Higley]

I really, like, took my time. It wasn't even split second. Like, I had minutes to think about it. I was like, hours of brains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just like. I just slow. I moved because obviously, like, movement is what's going to make them, you know, figure out that you're so delicious. So I. I move in, like, slow motion, just crawling my way out of the water. And then when I get out, I'm like, hey, guys. Oh, my God. I've just noticed there's, like, fins out there. I think you should be careful. And they're like, oh, my God, thank you so much for saving us. And I was like, I fully welcome. Fully put my life so far ahead of yours.

[Leslie Liao]

Did they not freak out when you told them?

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, they did. They freaked out.

[Leslie Liao]

And they go out like. They're like, oh, thanks so much for.

[Skylar Higley]

No, no. But they were. Once they got out, they were like, like, thank you so much. And I was like, I'm. I'm just your everyday hero. How many people was it? Was it. It was about 12 or 13.

[Unnamed Guest]

Okay. So here's what I'm going to say.

[Skylar Higley]

Okay. I hope you're not about to judge.

[Unnamed Guest]

No, no, no.

[Skylar Higley]

We don't judge.

[Unnamed Guest]

I'm being. I'm listening. Not judging fully on your side, as a matter of fact, because it was just you out there.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. And I On a show.

[Unnamed Guest]

Exactly.

[Leslie Liao]

You know what I mean?

[Unnamed Guest]

You're on a show.

[Skylar Higley]

None of them were on a show.

[Unnamed Guest]

I mean, come on. I mean, come on. It's Hollywood. We gotta. Whatever.

[Skylar Higley]

I was number four on a call sheet.

[Unnamed Guest]

What, are you gonna ruin the show?

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, my God.

[Skylar Higley]

We're gonna let Ted dancing down. Exactly, exactly.

[Unnamed Guest]

My God, the finale was perfect. The sharks gonna ruin the whole thing. No, here's the thing. You're one person. There are all these sharks, and there are 12 people. Yeah. Let's just say, you know, if something happens and you're out there by the sharks, all those sharks are focused on you. But let's say, you know, there are 12 people, and then all the sharks.

[Skylar Higley]

They'Re gonna lose limbs, not lives.

[Unnamed Guest]

Exactly. So it's gonna be more like spread out. So what you were doing in a utilitarian way was what was best for everybody, for the sharks to be distracted by multiple groups of people instead of all focusing on you. You know what I mean?

[Skylar Higley]

We might all be sociopaths. That's what I was saying. I was like, this is what a sociopath convention sounds like.

[Leslie Liao]

I see nothing wrong with what. Agree with Skyler. Like, I'm thinking, okay, so your other option is you're alone near the sharks in the water where you have to swim back. Let's say you. You're going to scream and warn other people who are there in the shallow part of the.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, they can get out really easily. And watch me be turned into a fucking Gary. Like, no.

[Leslie Liao]

So all you did was you put your face mask on first before helping others.

[Skylar Higley]

Thank you.

[Leslie Liao]

And I see truly nothing wrong.

[Unnamed Guest]

Everybody was safe.

[Skylar Higley]

I feel like there's a movie for the three of us together of three sociopaths. Yeah, it feels very like Coen brothers, you know, where we just throw each other under the. Under the bus all the time, ironically. I'm excited about all these shows.

[Unnamed Guest]

I've never even met any of these shows.

[Skylar Higley]

Right now.

[Unnamed Guest]

I don't even know what it's doing.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, man. Okay, so you've both been so brilliant, and you've made me feel so much better about myself than any other guests on the show, and I don't know what that says about you.

[Leslie Liao]

Good. Glad to know.

[Skylar Higley]

Well, before you go, I want to share another wrong turn story just to make us all feel less alone. We call this misery loves company. So the listener wrote to us. I met up with the chap who I met on Tinder. We were having a nice time and it seemed to be going okay. So we ordered a second drink. And it was then that he said, there's something I wanted to ask you. I didn't think much of it, so I said, sure, ask away. And he replied, there was something I wanted to know if you might be into instant red. Before I had a chance to really acknowledge this, he blurted out, I was wondering if you would be up for dressing up like a Pokemon and sucking my cock.

[Unnamed Guest]

Which Pokemon? Which Pokemon? I need to know which Pokemon.

[Skylar Higley]

And she said, I can honestly say I've never been more lost for words in my life. While I was contemplating what on earth I would say to that and if anyone else in the pub had heard, he said, but if you're not into that. And I was relieved. Okay, it's going to be a joke. He said, maybe you could be a Ghost Buster.

[Unnamed Guest]

Well, busted. Makes him feel good.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. You have to leave right now. Bye, everybody. Bye. So she realized, yeah, definitely not a joke. And there go her innocent childhood memories. Pikachu will never be the same again. Oh, my God. Who? You're going to blow.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, that's. Wow.

[Leslie Liao]

Why are those the only two options?

[Skylar Higley]

You know what I mean?

[Leslie Liao]

I was like, no worries, because some girls don't like Pokemon. And.

[Skylar Higley]

And I've offered as a. Famously loved the Ghostbusters.

[Unnamed Guest]

Sexuality is a spectrum.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Maybe you're into Pokemon.

[Skylar Higley]

Maybe you're in a Ghostbuster. Yeah, yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

You never know. No, there's a ghost type Pokemon, in fact. So you could get both, right?

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah. There we go. Okay.

[Leslie Liao]

And it was.

[Skylar Higley]

We're your number. I think you love to text lonely men.

[Unnamed Guest]

I love to text lonely men.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Text me. Damn.

[Skylar Higley]

Have you ever been asked to dress up in bed?

[Unnamed Guest]

You know what's weird? I have.

[Skylar Higley]

Oh, yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

And it was one of these things where it was like. It started as a joke where I was on a date and whatever, and it'd been a couple dates, and the. The girl was really into Harry Potter and we were, you know, at a bar, and I go, oh, well, you know, maybe I dress up like Harry Potter and whatever. And then she was like. It went from Joe into like, oh.

[Leslie Liao]

That'S something you do to like buying costumes on Amazon.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, it's like, that's something that you would do because I have a couple. 1. I'm like, no, I don't think that I could really. I'm not into that personally.

[Skylar Higley]

You're more of a Frodo guy.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, I'm more of a Lord of the Rings. I'm Gimli. I'm a. I'm a Gimli kind of guy. I want the beard. I want the axe.

[Skylar Higley]

Amazing. What about you, Leslie?

[Leslie Liao]

I've never been asked, but I'm not. I'm not. I think I. The role playing is.

[Skylar Higley]

You want to be asked, Leslie. Let's put it out there.

[Leslie Liao]

No, let's not.

[Unnamed Guest]

Let's not.

[Leslie Liao]

Let's not. I'm gonna get the end credit.

[Unnamed Guest]

No, no, no.

[Leslie Liao]

No, no, no, no, no. I'm just surprised I haven't been asked, but I feel like I would just laugh.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

It's too funny.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Leslie Liao]

Like, come on.

[Unnamed Guest]

I gotta pretend this serious. If I'm having sex, I'm like, we're seriously doing this.

[Leslie Liao]

I'm.

[Unnamed Guest]

I'm going to t. I would go.

[Skylar Higley]

Fully into character and my characters all have like a deep Indian accent. That very old man, no matter what the character is 100%. It doesn't matter. Why do you sound like an Indian? Yeah, yeah. If it was Gandalf, it'd be like, you shall not pass.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes.

[Unnamed Guest]

Killing Gandalf. No.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very open about this.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah. But then the problem is if your guy's into that, you're like, oh, totally.

[Skylar Higley]

No, but because of all my characters, my kookiness, my boyfriend put like a five minute ban on me. Like speaking before sex. He was just like, you're gonna ruin it with your personality.

[Unnamed Guest]

That's what. That's.

[Skylar Higley]

It is the only way to preserve any romance. Otherwise I'm gonna be like, what a strong. Anyway.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, my God, this is so anti therapy. I feel like I regressed so much. I know.

[Leslie Liao]

Yes, yes.

[Skylar Higley]

That's the point. That's the whole point. That's why you came to Wrong Turns. Before you go, will you please tell everyone where they can find you and what you've got out at the moment?

[Leslie Liao]

Leslie, I'm on tour everywhere I have shows. My website is leslie liao.com. my social handles are. It's a racist version of my name. So my social handles everywhere is Resre. Rio. Yeah. And I have to say it because every host doesn't want to say it.

[Skylar Higley]

Right, right, right.

[Leslie Liao]

Like, please don't make me say this. It's res. Re real. And I will turn on you.

[Skylar Higley]

Yeah, yeah. Amazing. You are not safe with me and Skyler.

[Unnamed Guest]

Skyler Higley on Twitter and Instagram. I have a show every other Tuesday at the Lyric Hyperion called Guaranteed, presented by Wolter.

[Skylar Higley]

And she's been on it.

[Leslie Liao]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Been on it and killed.

[Skylar Higley]

Thank you both so much.

[Leslie Liao]

Thank you.

[Skylar Higley]

Bye bye. Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to our launch producer, Eve Bishop, our editor, Shannon Joy Rogers, and consulting producer, Colin Anderson. And if you are also enjoying me as a person, I have a substack. It's called a low desire to please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna fuck off now. By.

[Unnamed Guest]

Ben hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a month. So during one of his restless nights, he booked a package trip abroad on Expedia. When he arrived at his beachside hotel, he discovered a miraculous bed slung between two trees and fell into their best sleep of his life. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights and hotels and hammocks for less Expedia. Made to travel.

[Skylar Higley]

We quilt this city with a comfy roll. Quilted Northern is quilted with three cushy layers for your comfort. Keep it quilted with quilted Northern.