Rachel Feinstein and Ben Gleib

Summary

Podcast Summary: Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Episode: Rachel Feinstein and Ben Gleib
Date: May 28, 2026
Host: Jameela Jamil
Guests: Rachel Feinstein, Ben Gleib

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Episode Overview

This riotous episode of "Wrong Turns" dives deep into the most mortifying, embarrassing, and completely unredeemable moments of comedians Rachel Feinstein and Ben Gleib. Embracing the podcast’s ethos—"where dignity goes to die"—the trio gleefully trades disaster stories, relishing their own epic fuckups and sharing in the chaos of each other's lives. Therapy gone awry, wild family encounters, humiliating romantic misadventures, and impromptu street fights—nothing is off-limits. Listeners are invited not just to laugh, but to feel kinship through shared catastrophe—no moral, no silver lining, just unfiltered comedy gold.

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Core Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Nature of Disaster – Does It Find You or Do You Find It?

[03:15 – 04:44]

• Jameela asks her guests if disaster seeks them out or vice versa.
  • Ben: Maintains disasters just find him but claims, "I don't seek out disaster… I think I'm pretty lucky overall."
  • Rachel: Candidly confesses, "I'm a real hole in the team. It's not been a good ride for me, that's for sure. I was fucked up in grand and repetitive ways."
  • Rachel shares a formative family memory: her parents frequently taking her for medical scans. Her mother once declared, "She's not normal, Howard. Shannon."

Notable Quote:

• Rachel, regarding her childhood:
  "I think my dad's like, 'We'll scan her again. We'll keep scanning her.' Like, I don't get what the aim was with the scans. I was always getting scanned." [04:03]

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2. Therapy Fails and Unreliable Therapists

[05:15 – 09:09]

• Jameela: Reveals a therapist once rejected her as a client for being "too much," citing, "If I were to take this on, I feel like you'd be here for like 20 years."
• The group discusses bad therapy experiences, including:
  • Unlicensed therapists giving out movie recommendations.
  • A therapist who compared Rachel’s problems to wrestling matches.
  • A therapist attempting to "fix" grief with a magic wand.
• Ben recounts moving from an unlicensed therapist to a life coach he had previously made out with.

Notable Quote:

• Jameela, on her therapist encounter:
  "She was just like, it’s going to be sad. Such a bummer that she doesn’t want my money." [06:13]
• Rachel, on her energy-drained therapist:
  "He's very fatigued by me. Like, he's ready for the end. Before the end." [06:29]

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3. Romantic Misinterpretations and Humiliations

[09:21 – 11:01]

• Rachel: Shares that she starts relationships with men who help her in even minor ways (e.g., a doorman helping with a car).
  • Jokes about thinking every male is hitting on her.
  • Confesses to a comically awkward post-breakup work situation: "I kept nanning there for like, another year. So weird." [10:20]
• Jameela: Admits she can’t recognize someone fancies her unless "they’re up inside me."

Notable Quote:

• Jameela:
  "I can't tell if someone fancies me unless they're up inside me. And even then I’m like, you’re not sure still? Are we still friends?" [09:41]

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4. Micro Humiliations

[11:01 – 23:01]

• Ben: Tells a story about unintentionally creating a humiliating situation on Chelsea Handler’s private jet. At Chelsea’s behest (and under pressure and alcohol), he asks the co-pilot to fake a sexual act for the cabin’s amusement—but no one pays attention.
  • "It was just for us. It was a private moment just for us." [15:48]
• Rachel: Describes the disaster of bringing inappropriate gifts to her Catholic boyfriend’s family (drinking melted candle wax she mistook for mulled wine).
  • "I just drank wax and the entire family just froze in time and just watched me drink wax." [21:53]
• Jameela: Shares her own confusion—convincing her boyfriend to visit Iguana Island, expecting flamingos.
  • "I think my whole life I thought a flamingo is called an iguana… I expected like, plush pink feathers." [23:57]
• Rachel: Admits geographic and general knowledge gaps, struggling with basic driving tests and assuming Long Island isn’t part of New York State.

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5. Big Wrong Turns – Life-Altering Disaster Stories

Ben’s Epic Family Misadventure

[32:09 – 40:21]

• His car is towed after a night of drinking, and his parents drive him to retrieve it.
  • His father uses broken Spanish to mediate an escalating argument with a parking attendant.
  • Ben, in a fit of rage, accidentally throws his sunglasses at the attendant, who retaliates with a lit cigarette. Another attendant throws vanilla coffee creamer at Ben. The chaos escalates to Ben’s mother and even his dog joining the fray.
  • Only when his mother intervenes does the mayhem subside.
• Memorable Moment:
  "I took my sunglasses off… and I just threw them on the ground… they just pinged right in his eye… he starts trying to burn me instantly with a cigarette." [35:20]
  "I'm covered in cream... These are the people going into the next draft, by the way." [36:59]

Rachel’s Romantic and Existential Misadventure

[43:38 – 55:23]

• Falls for a pizza shop employee during a period she terms “throbbingly depressed,” living with a Bengali family she met on a Greyhound bus.
• Brings the pizza man to a cheap hourly-rate hotel—turns out to be a porn hotel. The awkwardness climaxes with both sitting fully clothed watching porn or trying to avoid it.
  • "Every station was porn… I just kept trying to find something you know, and it was just like, just, oh yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. Every station." [45:57]
• Caps it by losing her friend's cat, Captain Pancakes, after returning from this humiliating encounter.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Rachel, on her husband’s inability to help:
  "I'll be like, hey, can you open this? He said, put your knees into it. Like, am I trying to open a jar… come on, use your body." [54:13]

• Ben, on mishaps and therapy:
  "At this point, I realized that probably therapy was the correct move." [39:32]

• On Math & Geography:

  • Rachel: "I have no sense of geography. Like, nothing. And my worst fear in life is a game of impromptu trivia."
  • Jameela: "Funny humor is a type of intelligence. But mine does not translate across to geography." [26:06]

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Segment Timestamps

| Segment Description | Timestamps | |---------------------|------------| | Opening & Introductions | 01:42 – 03:13 | | Seeking vs. Attracting Disaster | 03:15 – 04:44 | | Childhood mishaps & parental concern | 03:59 – 04:44 | | Therapy Fails | 05:15 – 09:09 | | Dating disasters, social cluelessness | 09:21 – 11:01 | | Micro humiliations (Ben’s jet story) | 11:08 – 16:39 | | Rachel’s wax drinking mishap | 20:22 – 22:27 | | Jameela’s Iguana/Flamingo confusion | 23:07 – 24:20 | | Ben’s Towing/Street Fight story | 32:09 – 40:21 | | Rachel’s pizza man/porn hotel/cat loss | 43:38 – 55:23 |

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Takeaway & Overall Tone

Tone: Relentlessly self-deprecating, chaotic, and raucously honest. The laughter is both cathartic and validating, with each story rendering disaster not as a cautionary tale, but as a badge of shared humanity.

Closing Vibe: Jameela sums it up:
"It feels like group therapy. You two have been amazing. This has been one of the more chaotic moments of my entire life, not just the podcast." [55:23]

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Where to Find Them

• Ben Gleib:

  • New YouTube late-night show: Good Night with Ben Gleib – Thursdays 10pm ET
  • Instagram: @makeitagoodnight
  • Website: makeitagoodnight.com

• Rachel Feinstein:

  • Netflix special: Big Guy
  • Tour, dates: rachel-feinstein.com

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For anyone whose life also feels like a series of mistake-laden detours—this episode is a celebration, not a commiseration. No fix offered, only big laughs and the comfort of knowing you’re most definitely not alone.

Transcript

[Ben Glebe]

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[Rachel Feinstein]

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[Gracie Kanan]

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[Leon Nayfak]

My journalistic curiosity got the best of me when I found out that my own sister had started an OnlyFans account.

[Gracie Kanan]

I'm not his sister.

[Leon Nayfak]

Just to clarify, it turns out a lot of what I thought I knew about OnlyFans was wrong.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I felt like I wasted 3.5 years for something that wasn't real.

[Gracie Kanan]

What happens when connection comes with a price tag? Listen to Only Fantasy wherever you get your podcasts or binge all episodes of Only Fantasy ad free right now only on Audible. Start your Audible subscription in the Audible app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hello and welcome to Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil. This is a podcast where dignity goes to die. It is a graveyard for our most embarrassing humiliations and it's where we bond over what epic fuckups we all are. I get to bring on my favorite funny people from the Internet and from the world of comedy, and they tell me their tales of woe. And joining me today I have an actor and comedian writer from Chelsea, the Real Wedding Crashers Idiot Test, Ice Age Confidential Drift. You can watch his latest stand up special, mad king, on YouTube and he is the host of YouTube's first ever late night show, Good Night with Ben glebe, which premiered May 28. Is Ben fucking Glebe?

[Ben Glebe]

Yes. My birth middle name. Thank you, Jamila.

[Jameela Jamil]

Who brought both of us a rose, right?

[Ben Glebe]

I did. I just purchased them from a sweet homeless lady on a freeway off ramp who said she had three children, had a sign, and so I wanted to give her money.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You'll leave that part out next time. Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

Which part did I. Her children or just the whole thing? You wanted me to stop at an actual flower shop? Not that kind of guy. This was just to do A community service.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did you pay for the roses and then ask for the change back?

[Ben Glebe]

I did indeed. I was like, listen, this is probably, like, a $2 rose. What kind of change you have on you? But I bought two roses because I was gonna get one. Cause you felt sorry for that one. Then there were both of you here. I'm like, oh, there's gonna be two ladies here. I should get two roses. And I was in the car with my friend Sasha was like, well, what am I, drop liver here? I don't get a rose. I was already gone at that point.

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, the other recipient of a rose today is an actress and comedian from inside, Amy Schumer. Crashing and Trainwreck. Her latest comedy special, Big Guy, is streaming on Netflix. It's Rachel fucking Feinstein.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Thank you. Thanks, guys.

[Jameela Jamil]

This podcast is about disaster. Is this something that finds you often, or is it something that you seek out? Ben? Hmm?

[Ben Glebe]

I don't seek out disaster.

[Jameela Jamil]

I find that hard to believe.

[Ben Glebe]

That's hurtful. Very hurtful.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm a hurtful person.

[Ben Glebe]

Disaster finds me. I don't need the extra. I don't need to, like, double it up. It's like when you are have a cornucopia of something to ask for more. It's just greedy.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[Ben Glebe]

So I just wait for it to come.

[Jameela Jamil]

Has it been that way your whole life?

[Ben Glebe]

No, I don't think. I think I'm pretty lucky overall. I think I've had sporadic moments of things going super off the rails. It's not aggressive.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's so funny. Whenever people are like, no, I mean, I don't really incur that much disaster. Like, by the end of the episode, they're like, I think things are worse than I thought they were. What about you, Rachel? When it comes to.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, no, I'm a real hole in the team. Yeah. No, it's not Been a good ride for me, that's for sure. Yeah, I feel like. I think, like, from very young, I always sort of. I was fucked up in grand and repetitive ways. I remember waking up in the middle of the morning and, like, my mom. My parents were arguing about me, and my mom just goes, she's not normal. Howard, Shannon. And they were always taking me to get scanned, and I'm like, I think my dad's like, we'll scan her again. We'll keep scanning her. Like, I don't get what the aim was with the scans. I was always getting scanned.

[Ben Glebe]

I guess they didn't ever find anything.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I got. Well, I guess I know when I told them That I was going to go to college. I like thought I was break, I wasn't going to go to college. I thought I was breaking it to them. And my mom was like, we knew we were. I was like, I've made the choice. And she's like, no, we thought maybe you'd get divorced or be a cashier, but we saw the scans.

[Ben Glebe]

Kind of like when I was in like third grade, they pulled me one time out of class and sent me to physical therapy. They're like, you walk pigeon toed, you don't walk normal. Let's have this. And the woman just saw me once and then never saw me again. So all they did was give me a complex about the way I still walk to this day. Yeah, you can't fix it in one session. Wait, you can just pull you out of class. You're wrong. You're not okay, go back to class.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Did she just decide that you were too mangled to take off?

[Ben Glebe]

I was like Forrest Gump as the braces fell off.

[Jameela Jamil]

You know, I got rejected by a therapist. Really?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I only remembered this recently with my friend who'd sent me to her. She was like, okay, so what's going on with you? And I started telling her and then she's like, and what caused that? And I tell her that and she's like, and where did this go? Till we get all the way back to my childhood. And she's just looking more and more harrowed. And then finally, just by the end goes, I don't think we should see each other. And I was like, am I being broke? Am I being dumped? And she was like, yeah, I just, to be honest, if I were to take this on, I feel like you'd be here for like 20 years. She's like, yeah, it was wild, crazy. Yeah. And she was like, you're gonna need EMDR therapy. She was like, you need something much more intensive. And so she sent me to someone

[Rachel Feinstein]

else get half of that pill.

[Jameela Jamil]

Exactly. Literally. But she looked like exhausted when she said it. She was like, 20 years. And it's like, surely that's a good thing. That's loads of money. It's like, imagine someone not wanting to have to deal with how many sad things happened to you. She was just like, it's gonna be sad. Such a bummer that she doesn't want my money.

[Ben Glebe]

The amount of business you're going to bring in, I can't emotionally take.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. She was like, that's it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She just, I, I, I feel depleted. I feel like my deplete my therapist, if that helps.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah. Like an energy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He's very fatigued by me. Like, he's ready for the end. Before the end. I'm like, all right, Allan, don't look up there now.

[Ben Glebe]

My therapist wasn't even licensed. I stopped therapy, like, a year ago because I was going to an unlicensed in training therapy.

[Jameela Jamil]

There was the woman who was selling the roses by the road.

[Ben Glebe]

No, it was your former therapist who said, I'm willing to take you on because it seems like you're unfair, so I'll just kind of phone it in.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

And literally, I was going for two, three years to this woman who was unlicensed, who was training because there was too long of a wait for the real therapist. And she never helped. She would, like, literally during therapy, she'd be like, you know what? You should watch this movie. Has a good message.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You know what? I had a therapist that did that, too. He would always compare my suffering to some sort of wrestler in Iowa. I'm like, I didn't even fucking watch wrestling. He's like, it's like when Dan Savage pins you down, you gotta get back up again.

[Jameela Jamil]

My friends and I went to a therapist. We all became, like, obsessed with her. But she would sometimes, when one of them told her, like, the darkest, most harrowing story any of us has ever heard, she didn't know exactly what to say. So then opened her drawer and pulled out a pink wand with a star on the end and just went, boop. Like, at my friend. And then my friend was, like, in the middle of sobbing, telling this horrific, harrowing story of assault. And then just like, the wand is wild. It's genius. Just confused her out of her grief. And then they were able to, like, get rid of it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But it's so mentally ill. But I love it.

[Ben Glebe]

Certainty of it.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is, by the way, not an LA person. This is a British person.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

So you'd never think.

[Ben Glebe]

It seems like there's a string of mentally unwell therapists out there that are just.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's cool. Therapists.

[Ben Glebe]

Fairness.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, yeah, for sure. But I have one that just. She's always in a lab coat and she's not even a doctor. I had one lady I saw. Her name is Sandy. She just always looked like she was just snacking on Xanax while she listened to me. Yeah. Are you planning.

[Ben Glebe]

If you want to.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She didn't have any md and she was like, well, I got it from my sister and I thought it was fun. It was very strange.

[Ben Glebe]

I shifted from my Therapist who was unlicensed to a life coach who was a friend of mine who was this very popular life coach. But we had made out before, and so that was the right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So what's wrong?

[Jameela Jamil]

Come on.

[Ben Glebe]

But I felt ridiculous.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I could have pre fingered your therapist.

[Ben Glebe]

I didn't finger her. I didn't finger her. Not that I wouldn't have, but I thought maybe my eyebrows analyzed it, thinking this might be a good plan because she really knows all sides of me. And we made out. Then I took her on a date. We kissed again. No chemistry. I'm like, she knows everything. I can, like, tell her everything. I can share even parts of my sexuality or whatever. And it's open, you know, I don't know. Medium. No, she's great. She was great. She was great.

[Jameela Jamil]

There's also another therapist I know who's been seeing one of my friends for like 16 years. And I'm like, she's in love with him. Yeah, there's definitely, like, the cling is coming from the other side. That's really intense.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I feel like that about, like any male that helps me anything. I started dating a doorman because he helped me in the freaking car. I was like a nanny in the building.

[Jameela Jamil]

Every valet, like, hate.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I always think you're hitting on me. And I like. I'm like, oh, well, when I greeted you back downstairs, I did. I thought you wanted to be right inside me. I was like, this is alarming.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm the opposite. I can't tell if someone fancies me unless they're up inside me. And even then I'm like, you're not sure still? Are we still friends?

[Rachel Feinstein]

They all fancy you, by the way. I just like every person I tell that I'm doing this podcast too. Yeah. I have to, like. I've never felt, like, less of a sexually relevant than when I'm like. When I'm like, oh, guess what? I'm. They're like the hottest woman alive.

[Jameela Jamil]

All right.

[Ben Glebe]

I just want you to be dating a doorman.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I did date. I did date him. His name is Raphael and he dumped me. How long do you keep fucking working as a nanny there? And it was extremely uncomfortable.

[Ben Glebe]

Every time that he would take you out, if he, like, did something nice, would you give him, like, three bucks? You, like, slide them a couple dollars?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I should have slipped 20.

[Ben Glebe]

Oh, 20.

[Leon Nayfak]

Fancy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So humiliating. Yeah. Because I did fucking kept. I kept nanning there for like, another year. So weird.

[Ben Glebe]

In the building.

[Rachel Feinstein]

In the building. Yeah. I mean, I just, like, I. It didn't occur to Me, the exchange. I think that I didn't also understand a lot of, like, Upper east side rich tendencies. Like, I remember when I went to a nail salon for the first time, and I know you have to pay them before they paint your nails. I thought it was just because they could sniff the pore on me. But they paint, you know, of course.

[Jameela Jamil]

Otherwise you're going to go and shuffle in your bag up the manicure.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes. So a lot of times they'll ask you to give the money first because they're going to paint your nails, and while they dry, they don't want you putting your hand in your bag and your nails.

[Ben Glebe]

This is maybe just you. I think they just.

[Jameela Jamil]

I paid after. I'm.

[Ben Glebe]

Yeah, I've always paid after when I get a manicure.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay. So, Ben. Ben, give us a micro humiliation so we can kind of get an idea of what you classify as disaster.

[Ben Glebe]

Okay. This one. This one is. Was a ridiculous life moment. And it sounds very bougie at the beginning and it takes a bit. Very wrong turn.

[Jameela Jamil]

That sounds like my whole trademark. Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

So I was beyond Chelsea lately, as you said, on the roundtable. And then Chelsea had me open for her on. On tour in arenas and huge theaters for a while. So she would rent a private jet and we'd fly around. And I don't know if you've ever heard this about Chelsea Handler. Bit of a drinker.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Just in Vegas with her.

[Ben Glebe]

Yeah, yeah, she drinks a little.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

And by little, I mean, like, more than she talks about on air, which is already an enormous amount.

[Jameela Jamil]

Right, Cool, Cool. So thanks for saying that.

[Ben Glebe]

You're very welcome. So we're on her plane and we're just drinking. She's drinking a straight cup of vodka with, like, a lemon on top, just, like, for show, you know?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah. Let's get some, like, fruit.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

To get a little bit of vitamins.

[Jameela Jamil]

Make sure fiber.

[Ben Glebe]

Stave off the scurvy. It's important.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's called pre gaming.

[Ben Glebe]

That's correct. Pre gaming. That's a pretty aggressive.

[Jameela Jamil]

Look it up.

[Ben Glebe]

So I'm matching her drink for drink because you can't let the headliner out drink you. It's like an unspoken rule.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

Unless you're sober, you have to match. So we're on the airplane and we're drunk at the point of the story is we're very drunk, both of us, and there's just six of us on the airplane. Right. It's like the person from Live Nation and, like, her makeup artist and, like, this weird Norwegian man named Baby that she literally had travel with her just so she could call him Baby and squeeze his cheeks, like that kind of weird stuff. And me. And open cockpit. You know, Pilot, co pilot. There. There's no door. Like, apparently if you're rich, they don't care if you do terrorism. You could just hijack a plane, no problem whatsoever.

[Jameela Jamil]

But no one's hijacking a plane. I feel like they paid 90 grand.

[Ben Glebe]

Totally.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, totally.

[Ben Glebe]

I guess it's a safe bet.

[Jameela Jamil]

But then again, I take Uber Lux instead of Uber X because I just feel like you're less likely to assault me in a Suburban because it's really expensive.

[Ben Glebe]

That's a strong point.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, my God, that's such a fine point. Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

Keep the interior clean. That's a strong point.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And so isn't it nice living where you don't have to crunch the numbers and your own potential insults everywhere you go?

[Ben Glebe]

Being a man is easier. So, I'm sorry.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, I've had.

[Ben Glebe]

You've heard of Ben before. You're familiar. So we're on the airplane, very drunk, and drunkenly, Chelsea says to me, hey, Ben, you know what would be really funny would be if you go and ask the co pilot to suck your dick. And I go, I'm good. Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm good. And she goes, come on, it would be hilarious. For whom, exactly? The question. So I said, okay, fine. Because, I mean, once you get this point, you're young.

[Jameela Jamil]

Peer pressure. You're drunk.

[Ben Glebe]

Peer pressure. And also, like, if it's funny, I'm down for a funny moment, you know? So I literally go up into the cockpit of an airplane flying through the sky, and I say to the co pilot, hey, buddy.

[Jameela Jamil]

In front of the pilot.

[Ben Glebe]

In front of the pilot. I mean, they're right there sitting next to each other.

[Jameela Jamil]

And can Chelsea hear? Like, can everyone hear?

[Ben Glebe]

Certainly. They're six feet away.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay.

[Ben Glebe]

And I say, this is gonna sound really weird, but Chelsea thought it would

[Jameela Jamil]

be really good job for throwing her on the wall.

[Ben Glebe]

100%. I'm not gonna bring this as my own offer out of nowhere.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

So I say, chelsea thought it would be really funny if you sucked my dick. And I did jump in quickly and say, I don't actually want you to do that, of course, but it would be amazing if you would just, like, bob your head up and down so it looks like you're sucking my dick.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God.

[Ben Glebe]

I'd create this whole scene I was gonna do, because then, like, imagine they're looking and, like, you just.

[Rachel Feinstein]

While he's. While he's driving the plane.

[Ben Glebe]

Let's talk about driving a plane. First of all.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Sorry, that was one of the dumb things I said to. Well, I told you the scale.

[Ben Glebe]

He was driving the plane.

[Jameela Jamil]

He was riding the plane.

[Ben Glebe]

Your parents might have been right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, they were right. But. But I just afraid the plane would crash.

[Ben Glebe]

Yeah, we. We almost had that happen once on river planes, too. Anyway, side. Side note, so I say this to the. To the co pilot. It'd be really funny if you bob your head up and down and he go. He looks at me very aggressively and he goes, I'm flying a plan. I replied, no, you're not. Your buddy's flying the plane. You're just here. If he dies, like, you're on your phone. There's totally available for this. And I swear, he is available for this. Hilarious. I swear on my life, this man. He goes. And he begins bobbing his head up and down at my crotch. I swear on my life, bobbing his head up and down. And instantly, there's the aura of. It is the most humiliating moment of both of our lives. Instantly, he was like, why am I doing this for this rich woman? In the back of the plane, I'm receiving this. I feel horrible. And it's made instantly. Only a thousand times more embarrassing when I look back and no one's paying attention anymore. It was just for us. It was a private moment just for us.

[Jameela Jamil]

If a co pilot sucks you off in the woods, you then stayed on

[Ben Glebe]

a podcast and everyone hears it, Were

[Jameela Jamil]

you able to, like, even look the co pilot in the eye at the end of that flight?

[Ben Glebe]

I just walked away, kept my head, avoided the whole way, got off the plane quickly.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, that's such a funny story. My God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Dark terrain. Did Chelsea say anything about it afterwards?

[Ben Glebe]

No. Literally, they were like, mid. Playing a game, laughing, doing some other things. I'm sure. I told her. I was like, chelsea, I just had the guy suck my dick for you. My whole blood. She's like, what are you even talking about? I'm like, you told me to go. She's like, I did. Like, yes, four minutes ago. You said, do this.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Wait, can I. Can I tell a story that I have to check afterwards if it can be cut off? Yes, of course. Because I want to make sure Chelsea's okay with this. So I'll just text and ask her this, but I don't have to care.

[Ben Glebe]

I'm not going to ask her at all for my okay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, but no, this one's like, but so when I was at the Comedy Store the other night, they told me that Chelsea sent an audition tape when she first auditioned for the store. And her. You know this. I've heard of it. Okay, yeah. So she said that she sent an audition tape to the store and it was her doing standup. And then after it cut out and it was just her getting railed.

[Ben Glebe]

Yeah, it was a sex tape that I guess they had taped over, but

[Rachel Feinstein]

she did it on purpose because she thought it would be hilarious.

[Jameela Jamil]

That is hilarious.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It is hilarious. It's fucking genius. That's why I'm purpose. She probably.

[Ben Glebe]

If you did on purpose, that's what I asked.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I thought it was an accident. I was like. Like, I would die. And they were like, no, no, no. It was on purpose. Chelsea thought that would be funny. And. And they said that they loved it so much, they just passed her right away. They're like, oh, you're in, my friend. Not just for late night either. You pay any time at night at all. Yeah, just cut right to her. Just getting slam rotted.

[Ben Glebe]

Well, this slam rod is a phrase I'd love to never hear again, but

[Rachel Feinstein]

I always say that to my husband when he wants to hook up because it's just the least sexual. Dumbest slam rod. I think you're trying to slam rod me, aren't you?

[Ben Glebe]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

This is very.

[Jameela Jamil]

Is terrifying. Like, how do you even have a pe. Mind disappeared up into my body? Like, that's so intense.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Remember those old porns that used to be like a magazine? It would be like a short story about a woman slowly became a whore. My uncle had one of those porn magazines in his suitcase that I found once. And it was like, isn't that just a bible? It was the bible I tried to use my husband's dick was as a pointer on one of those hotel Bibles. I was like, hold on, I want to read this for a second. As if I was using it to sort of underline the sentences of the Bible.

[Jameela Jamil]

Huge flex from the husband as well, that he could be a.

[Ben Glebe]

Fair enough. You don't know how close he was to the book.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He kind of had a semi left. So I was like, oh, this will be funny. But he didn't care for it.

[Ben Glebe]

Have you ever had a sexual encounter with your husband where you don't turn it into a comedy bit? Or do you ever just like, well,

[Rachel Feinstein]

he's just emotionally such a desert that I have to amuse myself in some way? Usually he's profoundly disappointing me. Like, he'll. He'll he'll like last three minutes and then he'll like, pop up. And I'm like, hey, Pete, can you take care of me in any way? And he'll be like, oh, that was awful, right? He's like, oh, put that in. I'm like, you can't just fucking devastate me and then donate it to my fucking skit. He does that with everything. Like, he'll just profoundly disappoint me and be like, yeah, but come on, you little program.

[Ben Glebe]

There you go.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He's taking a look at welcome sugar Chet. So fuck off.

[Jameela Jamil]

I am stunned.

[Ben Glebe]

How many bits does he think you can write about him not lasting long too? At some point that bit's been done.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, wait, we haven't even gotten to your micro humiliation. What is your micro humiliation?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, okay. Well, my husband brought me back to my parents, so.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's the husband again.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It is the husband. Sorry. He just brings a lot of tragedy into my life.

[Jameela Jamil]

Nobody's giving you so much material.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He does. My husband took me to meet his family. Okay. So it was Christmas, and I hadn't met them yet. I hadn't met anybody as family. We just started dating and he texted me, like, any interest in coming up on Christmas or something? So I called all my friends. I'm like, oh, this guy really likes me. I was the fucking laziest text here. He phoned it in. Any interest in, you know, swinging along with the gang or something? So then I get all of the family presents and I'm thinking that they've heard about me because he flew out to come watch me in New Orleans. Like, I'm thinking he told them I have a somewhat compelling life. So I figured they all knew about me, whatever. So I'm trying to get it right. He's just bringing this fucking weird Jew comic on Chris. Not what his mother wanted for him. Like, I know what my mother in law wanted for. She wanted like a Catholic nurse named Gina from Long Island. Yeah, she's disgusted by me. My mother in law is like a cartoon of a person. Like, I can't believe she's real. You know, like on my wedding day, she was scream crying. She's like, I'm losing my son.

[Ben Glebe]

You know what I mean?

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's like, yes, you are. Bye, bye, bye. But anyway, so then, so he drives me to his family house. I. I got them all these presents and I wanted to just get it right, you know, and, and for everybody in the family. So we get there and each present they're opening, they look More infuriated and annoyed. And I just kept feeling, am I getting the wrong thing? Like, what's happening? You know, and, and then, you know, the. I don't know Catholics here. But you know how there's this one and there's like the second one. You know, the second thing. There's no Catholics in this room. I don't know. There's like two crosses. I thought maybe I did the cross wrong.

[Ben Glebe]

She's listening, she's crossing her body and then doing a mini cross on her mouth.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's never existed in any religion. I don't know. So then they keep opening things and then the sister has one of those candles, like the Yankee candles. And I asked what she wanted and she was like, I want a Yankee candle. So, all right, so I gave her some more. So she has a Yankee candle that's already lit up. I haven't given her her Yankee candles yet. And then next, next to the Yankee candle or the glass candle, whatever. It was in a mug. It was in a mug is a mulled wine. Okay. Warmed wine. Warm wine. So I, the candle was melting. I drank the candle. Okay. I just picked up the candle in the mug and drank melted wax.

[Jameela Jamil]

Was that so hot?

[Rachel Feinstein]

It was kind of melted and it wasn't hot. I wanted somebody to blame. You know when you do something really dumb and you're like, oh, it's that cunt's fault. But it was like, no, it's.

[Jameela Jamil]

But it just like immediately dry in your mouth.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I just, I. I just drank wax and the entire family just froze in time and just watched me drink wax. By the way, I do things like this that are so dumb so often

[Jameela Jamil]

that I don't understand your parents being like, there's something wrong with her.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, I'm not. Well, I forgot about it until my, my brother in law told the speech at our wedding. He's like. And then with the grace of the Queen of England, after drinking a gulping wax, Rachel went upstairs to clean it off her teeth. And we knew like Pete had really found the one. But I'll never not just be this foul, strange Jew that drinks wax to them, you know, I'm just like, yeah, that's all I am forever.

[Jameela Jamil]

And now to my whole audience, I

[Rachel Feinstein]

don't know, but it was. But they were similar mugs. I don't know.

[Jameela Jamil]

I do shit like that all the time.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Really.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay. My life is permanently only embarrassing, full of accidents. I mean, look at my elbow. Just look at my elbow.

[Ben Glebe]

Whoa.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What happened exactly?

[Jameela Jamil]

For anyone who can't See it completely. I can't stop doing it. Put your erection away, Ben. Oh, my God. Everything dislocates. Everything's like, out of join. I'm like a weird puppet and it's like, like, made for the sheets, not the streets. But it's like, not even good in the sheets. Like, not good anywhere.

[Ben Glebe]

I don't think you want that angle in the sheets.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

No one wants that.

[Jameela Jamil]

No one wants this.

[Rachel Feinstein]

There is a supply to be.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's a. I'm a puddle with nipples, you know, that's the only way to explain it. So because of that, I can't, like, I can't control anything. I recently got my boyfriend to really convinced him to take me to Iguana Island. Like, I was so excited all day and we had to travel, like five hours out of our way to go to Iguana Island. And it was only when we got there, I was so disappointed and I looked crestfallen and he was like, what's going on? It's just like this barren shit land, you know, of just like dried up, like bits of wood. And then fucking reptiles everywhere. And he's like, what's going on? And I was like, I think my whole life I thought a flamingo is called an iguana. And so I had a very different idea of what this was going to look like. I expected, like, plush pink feathers.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So I mixed up the words. Yes, yes, but these are words that

[Jameela Jamil]

are near each other.

[Ben Glebe]

Not at all. And I'm not in concept.

[Jameela Jamil]

Not in concept, by the way, my 40th birthday. I have no excuse to not know the difference. Four decades into being on the planet, as someone who went to half school, okay, iguana, flamingo, devastated.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What's half school?

[Jameela Jamil]

I was in, like, I left at 16. So, like.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, you left at 16?

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm only half educated.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, it sounds like you made it somehow sound regal.

[Jameela Jamil]

I was like, I know everything sounds regal.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Doesn't like. It sounds like something people that only come from, like, generational wealth go to.

[Jameela Jamil]

But you're not. But don't worry. Broke my leg tripping over a slim Fast can. Like, just like, I'm with you all the fucking.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. I thought until quite recently, this is one of the dumbest things I've ever admitted publicly. But why not? I'm already a well known moron on this podcast anyway. But I thought I was like, trying to get my license again. And you know Chris Mazeli at Gotham Comedy Club? He, like, owns Gotham Comic Club, so he was. And I kept failing it. I Got really.

[Ben Glebe]

I've been taking expire in the first place.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I just let it aspire because I'm just teaming with add. I live every day. Like, you know when you bump into somebody right before they overdose and you, like, share notes, you're like, oh, yeah, I saw her at the bar. Like, she left, like, a shoe there and, like, a debit car. That's how I live every day. Like, just not well. So I just let it expire, you know? And so I've been taking these driving lessons again with this elderly Filipino man who I have, like, feelings for.

[Ben Glebe]

Wait, wait, before you even get to that. Your side statements that are supposed to be normal, Life is nobody. You know how you often, like, see a friend at the bar right before they overdose? You know that life moment?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

No one knows any of these references.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's fair. But I'm just saying I live every day like I'm spiraling out of control or, like, fleeing someone. You know what I mean? Like, I'm leaving a domestically abusive relationship. That's kind of how I live. It's just very frenzied and shedding things everywhere. Like an iguana. Kind of like an iguana or a flamingo.

[Jameela Jamil]

And that is a bird on one

[Rachel Feinstein]

leg or a frazzled flamingo. But I have no sense of geography. Like, I nothing. And my worst fear in life is a game of impromptu trivia. Because I don't. I feel like I get credit for being, like, intelligent. Cause I'm sarcastic and Jewish or something, but I have no information at all.

[Jameela Jamil]

No. Funny humor is a type of intelligence. But mine does not translate across to geography.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't know where anything is. It's boring, too. You know, it's like, I don't hate geography. I say north and west. I'm like, what is. Am I a Quaker settler? Like, off, like, 100%, like, colonial matters, Right?

[Jameela Jamil]

Fuck off. Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, it's northeast of the sun.

[Ben Glebe]

I'll get there. One of the ways. It doesn't matter.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, I'll figure it out.

[Ben Glebe]

Or, hey, when people also correct you, when they're like, I'm going up to San Diego. They're like, you're going down to San Diego? I'm like, on a map. The map is arbitrary. Someone drew that shit.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's not.

[Ben Glebe]

I'm not dipping down.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't. I don't like it when they say up or down either. I'm like, that's such a beat a twat.

[Gracie Kanan]

Who cares?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Who cares? I also think, like, when I Feel

[Ben Glebe]

like I'm very angry about geography. The three of us.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, yeah, I don't care.

[Jameela Jamil]

Because we're dumb. That's why.

[Ben Glebe]

Now let's make fun of math and science.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is what every manosphere podcast sounds like. Like, this is just getting mad at things that you don't understand and don't. You don't deserve human rights. Fuck them.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I know. You're right. This is the equivalent of, like, when I'm always with two guys arguing in a bar about, like, what album is better than the other? Who gives a shit? It's whatever you like. It's like, no, that's. This seemed more significant when Pearl Jam did this. Shut the fuck up. Beat it. But anyway. But. So I was gonna take my driving exam again, and I at this point, have feelings for the. Had feelings for the driving instructor because I kept failing. And I was like, well, also, you

[Jameela Jamil]

felt like he had feelings for you anyway, so you're just really returning the feel according to your record.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So I kept failing that. I failed it twice because, you know, I wasn't really the parallel.

[Jameela Jamil]

Were you trying to spend more time with him? Is that why Maybe.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He obviously is emotionally able to be present in a way my husband's not capable of. So.

[Jameela Jamil]

My God, He's gonna use this episode as evidence in divorce court. Like, no, I will.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It should be my evidence. Somebody was, like, asked me gently on a podcast the other day, like, do you think you stay together because of the kid? I'm like, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's because of the child. Oh, my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

Carry all my.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Anyway, whatever. He's a good hag too. But yeah. Anyway,

[Ben Glebe]

you just. You're a therapist her on that. You're like, I don't know that I can handle the amount of the emotional

[Rachel Feinstein]

terminated me as a client.

[Ben Glebe]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And that was fair. In that moment, I would have done the same thing. She made the right choice for herself. But so then I go to the driving class again, and my. My instructor's nervous at this point. You know, he was, like, really scared. He's like, I don't think this could handle failing three times. And so I was telling Chris Mazzilli that I'd take the driving test again. And he goes, oh, you should just take it in Long Island. I'm already really regretting. This is a rough one. I need to hold the rose for this. And I said, no, it's a New York driver's license. And then I said it again to him like he was the dumb hole that didn't understand things. I'm like, I, like, lifted his chin up and I was like, no, you look, sugar tits, it's in. I was like, it's a New York driver's license, so I can't take it in Long Island. And then he ever so gently said to me, well, Long island is in. And then I just. I just couldn't really manage. I disassociated at that point. I went to, like, a meadow where it was safe in my head or something.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm emotionally exhausted. I can't wait for what's next. We'll be right back after the break.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Hi. Who here loves when their nails are perfectly done?

[Ben Glebe]

Me.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

I'm Sarah Gibson Tuttle, and I started Olive in June because, let's be real, we all deserve to have gorgeous nails. But who wants to spend a fortune or half their day at the salon? And that's why I created the mani system. So you can have that salon perfect manicure right at home. And guess what? The best part, each mani only costs $2. Yup, you heard me. $2. No more 30, 40, $50. Salon trips that eat up your day. Now you can paint your nails whenever you want, wherever you want. And trust me, you're going to be obsessed with your nails, and everyone is going to ask you, where did you get your nails done? And here's a little something extra. Head over to olivenjune.com and get 20% off your first mani system with code [e-mail] perfectmanny20. That's code perfectmanny20 for 20% off at oliveandjune.com Perfectmanny20. You're all set for a nail glow up. Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?

[Leon Nayfak]

I'm Leon Naifak, best known as the co creator of Slow Burn and Fiasco. I had, of course, heard of OnlyFans, but always with a distant and quiet skepticism. A silent judgment, you might say. Who is actually using this platform?

[Gracie Kanan]

Um, I am. Hi, I'm OnlyFans creator and comedian Gracie Kanan. I work from home now I'm on OnlyFans. And in case you guys don't know what OnlyFans is, ask your husband.

[Leon Nayfak]

My journalistic curiosity got the best of me when I found out that my own sister had started an OnlyFans account.

[Gracie Kanan]

I'm not his sister.

[Leon Nayfak]

Just to clarify, it turns out a lot of what I thought I knew about OnlyFans was wrong.

[Ben Glebe]

I felt like I wasted 3.5 years

[Rachel Feinstein]

for something that wasn't Real.

[Gracie Kanan]

What happens when connection comes with a price tag? Listen to OnlyFantasy wherever you get your podcast or binge. All episodes of Only Fantasy Ad free right now only on Audible. Start your Audible subscription in the Audible app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Ben Glebe]

Mom, can you tell me a story?

[Gracie Kanan]

Sure.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car. Was she brave? She was tired mostly. But she went to Carvana.com and found a great car at a great price. No secret treasure map required. Did you have to fight a dragon? Nope. She bought it 100% online from her bed, actually. Was it scary? Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be. Did the car have a sunroof? It did, actually.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, good story.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Car buying you'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on Carvana.

[Gracie Kanan]

Delivery fees may apply.

[Jameela Jamil]

And we're back. Okay, Ben, what's your big wrong turn in life? What the fuck could be left?

[Ben Glebe]

I mean, so many are still running through my head.

[Jameela Jamil]

Great.

[Ben Glebe]

I regret being here, but here's the point. Point. So we're talking about therapy earlier. You know, I'd start. I just started therapy to like, address some, like, little things in my life, some little issues. Like, a good example of it is this story. So I. One night I went drinking after a show and I got. I had drink too much to drive home. So I did the responsible thing. I took an Uber home in the morning. I woke up and realized I had to go get my car. So I look at Uber and It was like 37. And I was like, not interested in that.

[Jameela Jamil]

That.

[Ben Glebe]

So I did what any responsible man in his 40s would do at this point. I asked my parents to give me a ride to the car.

[Jameela Jamil]

Great.

[Ben Glebe]

So I get my parents pick me up to drive me to my drunken car from the night before parking lot, very far away.

[Jameela Jamil]

How old are you?

[Ben Glebe]

I was probably 42.

[Jameela Jamil]

Cool.

[Ben Glebe]

Something like that, you know?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

And my dad immediately is like, I lost my login to mlb.com. can you get me get my login reset? I'm like, it's gonna be the worst drive of my life. Instantly. Suddenly, I'm now stuck in, like, tech shit. I'm like, it won't reset. It can't reset. I was like, contacting Major League baseball customer support the whole ride.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's the funniest thing to be an emergency for your dad too. It's such a problem.

[Ben Glebe]

Such a problem.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Dad's in baseball. Like, the only time I ever saw my dad shed a tear was like, at the fucking baseball hall of fame. It's the only time he said, I love you. I'm like, you love Cal Ripken, Howie.

[Jameela Jamil]

But also, I love the fact that he's like, I'm helping you with your emergency. You will now help me with my immediate pain. Instant.

[Ben Glebe]

So it's already very frustrating ride. I'm annoyed. We get to the parking lot, and my car's gone. It's not in the lot. And the attendant, who's on a smoke break says to me, you were the black car, the Infiniti. And I go, yeah. And he goes, I towed it, bro. I go, why? Why'd you tow it? And he goes, I needed the spot. And, like, if. If they needed the spot, like, it was a full lot, maybe I could understand. I'm looking at this lot, and it's fully empty. There's maybe three cars in this, like, hundred car lot. I was making his business look parkable. I was making this lot look maybe slightly more appealing. Yeah, he just had a towing sign overnight, and he just towed it to be a dick. And I just already was having a frustrating day. I was hungover, and I lost it. I started getting to, like, an arguing match with this guy, and I'm like, dude, how could you tow it? He's like, what's it gonna cost me? He's like, it's Gonna cost you $400. I'm like, $400? I just got a ride here to save $37. How is this possible? And he go, problem, bro? And my dad gets out of the car, and my dad realized the guy speaks Spanish. And I do, too, but not when I'm, like, angry. So my dad starts trying to translate this fight. So he gets in between me and the guy. He's like, por favor, mi hijo coche si esposible. And so my dad is translating live this fight I'm having with the parking lot 10. And he's like, yo no say, bro. Yo no say. He's like. And I. I'm not. Paris moment. I lost my temper. I took my sunglasses off, these orange sunglasses, same style, and I just threw them on the ground. I figured, why not, like, ruin more of my own property?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It is amazing because it's not really, like, you're not really hurting anybody. It's more of a tantrum.

[Ben Glebe]

Totally. It was a tantrum like my car. And so I. But what I did not anticipate was that they would take a bad bounce and almost hit him right in the eye. They just pinged right in his Eye and he's on a smoke break. So instantly he thinks we're in, like, war. Now he starts trying to burn me instantly with a cigarette. He literally immediately is coming at me and trying to, like, sizzle me live.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You got to respect a burning. I mean, it's a terrific move.

[Jameela Jamil]

I've never even heard of it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I've never heard of a rapid burning like that.

[Ben Glebe]

Amazing.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's what they did to, like, witches and shit. It's incredible.

[Ben Glebe]

Yeah, he was trying to burn. There was not even a stake involved. It was like, live free, freestyle burning.

[Jameela Jamil]

Does he run around your dad at you? Are you running away from him? In this very.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Was your dad still?

[Ben Glebe]

I even use my dad to kind of, like, hide behind a little bit, you know what I mean? Like, he was, like, actively, multiple times

[Rachel Feinstein]

trying to your dad, like, mas accidente or something. Just a little bitch.

[Ben Glebe]

And then all the commotion's happening. So now this other parking lot attendant from a next door parking lot comes to help the guy. And I'm just in a street. We've now moved, like, into the actual street. I'm in a street fight with two parking lot attendants that are coming at me. And the other guy is this, like, satchel on his shoulder. And for some reason, he's holding a huge coffee mate creamer, and he's got this huge coffee mate creamer container. He undoes the top and just chucks it at me. I've never seen this move in a fight. He just threw cream on me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm now, that is incredible. I'm covered in horrific cream.

[Ben Glebe]

This cream, Rachel. I'm covered in cream.

[Jameela Jamil]

These are the people going into the next draft, by the way. Like, this is.

[Ben Glebe]

Yeah, luckily with vanilla, because I love vanilla.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I will say this. I love bringing snacks into fights, into fighting with snacks.

[Jameela Jamil]

100%, I think it's also not even a hot drink Cream. Yeah, like, hilarious.

[Ben Glebe]

Vanilla cream.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Terrific. I love him. He fucking is an artist. It's terrific.

[Ben Glebe]

I mean, it was a creative move at the moment. That's fair. At the moment, I didn't feel that way. But now he's. In retrospect, it's a good point.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Throwing cream on somebody is incredible.

[Ben Glebe]

It's a good move.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I used to have a boyfriend that got mad when people cut him off in traffic and he would throw fig newtons at them, which he thought was the funniest snatch to throw in somebody. Somebody's car. And I still agree because he's like, they're gonna be more confused than anything. He's like, they can't shoot me, they'll

[Jameela Jamil]

just be throwing it into their car windows.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, I mean I was like, we were like 16. But yeah, it's a great cookie to

[Ben Glebe]

throw at someone because if it breaks you can just put it back together.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes. And it's just one of the snack curled at you. It's just so nice.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

My friend, this is the most brilliant thing I've ever seen a man do to another man in an argument. So we were all getting high in his apartment in LA and his super was always furious, screaming the top of his lungs, bang. About the noise we were making, the music we were playing. And then he was like, I've got an idea. The super was like, you turn it down. What are you doing?

[Jameela Jamil]

You're idiot.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You know, he's banging the door. My friend gets on the floor with a pillow, curls up in fetal position in a sort of a gentle way like this and then just sort of pulls open the door like a little cat. Because he knew that the man wouldn't be able to be that furious if he was this curled position on the floor. Or maybe. Yeah. But he walked in and the guy was like screaming. Then he just looked down at. Yeah and my friend was like on a pillow and he was just like, ah, I can't like keep screaming at this dumb flaccid corpse.

[Ben Glebe]

I should have done that move maybe because instead I tried to curl up and bring.

[Jameela Jamil]

There's a new trend of men just pulling their pants down, just all their pants and then their underwear down when another man's coming at them and then the other man isn't going to touch you. And then sometimes you can run after them, you know, hobble because you've got your pants around your ankles.

[Ben Glebe]

But it's like a one legged race.

[Jameela Jamil]

But anyway, anyway, tell me. Okay, so you've got creamer, I've got

[Ben Glebe]

creamer all over my.

[Jameela Jamil]

You, there's a cigarette coming at you live.

[Ben Glebe]

My dad is also in danger and translating the fight live. There's so much commotion now and like it seems like it's not getting any better. So my mom now opens. My 70 year old mother opens the car door. She comes to try to intervene. My dog is in there, he has the harness on and the leash is tied to the headrest so he tries to come help. My dog is now dangling from outside of the car, back and forth in the harness. After trying to help, my 7 year old mother gets in between. It's like, please leave my son alone. And at this point I realized that probably therapy was the correct move.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, probably.

[Ben Glebe]

That was not. I needed, I needed a little bit of assistance.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What happened in the area? Did he like still chill?

[Ben Glebe]

Yeah, we just like my diffuse one of my mom got out.

[Rachel Feinstein]

If I want to mess your whole family in situation, I think when my

[Ben Glebe]

mom got in, he's like, I'm not going to continue to fight with an older woman here.

[Jameela Jamil]

He's like, I've run out of creamer. There's nothing left to throw it. Anyway.

[Ben Glebe]

My mom had a cup of coffee. She was pushed it on my shirt and she had a delicious treat. And then they drove me to a tow lot and then I had to get my car back. And then so that I would say that I quit drinking that day. But that's. That's not true.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Never got any that day.

[Ben Glebe]

That's correct.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh my God. We'll be right back after a break.

[Leon Nayfak]

I'm Leon Nayfak, best known as the co creator of Slow Burn and Fiasco. I had of course heard of OnlyFans, but always with a distant and quiet skepticism. A silent judgment, you might say. Who is actually using this platform?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Um, I am.

[Gracie Kanan]

Hi, I'm OnlyFans creator and comedian Gracie Kanan. I work from home now. I'm on OnlyFans. And in case you guys don't know what OnlyFans is, ask your husband.

[Leon Nayfak]

My journalistic curiosity got the best of me when I found out that my own sister had started an OnlyFans account.

[Gracie Kanan]

I'm not his sister.

[Leon Nayfak]

Just to clarify, it turns out a lot of what I thought I knew about OnlyFans was wrong.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I felt like I wasted 3.5 years for something that wasn't real.

[Gracie Kanan]

What happens when connection comes with a price tag? Listen to OnlyFantasy wherever you get your podcast or binge all episodes of Only Fantasy ad free right now only on Audible. Start your Audible subscription in the Audible app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Hi, it's Sarah Gibson Tuttle, founder of Olive and June. If you love having your nails done, but you don't have the time or the money to go to a salon every week, I have something just for you. It's called the DIY Mani Challenge. And it starts with one simple idea. Today is the day that you learn to do your own nail. So whether you're brand new to doing your nails or already obsessed with your at home mani routine, this is your invitation to level up your nail game with expert guidance every single step of the way. So no matter where you are in your nail journey, we've got you covered at Olive and June. Are you ready to take the DIY Mani challenge? We've taught millions to Mani. And now it's your turn. So go to oliveandjune.com DIYlove20 for 20% off your first system using code DIYLOVE20. That's oliveinjune.com-I y l o v e.

[Leon Nayfak]

Okay, caller one wins courtside seats to tonight's game.

[Ben Glebe]

What? I won floor seats.

[Leon Nayfak]

You did?

[Ben Glebe]

I've been calling for 13 months.

[Leon Nayfak]

Wait. Chris.

[Ben Glebe]

Yes. I finally did it.

[Leon Nayfak]

What are you gonna wear?

[Ben Glebe]

Men's Wearhouse. They've got today's looks for any occasion. And I need to look like a celebrity.

[Leon Nayfak]

Don't want to stick out.

[Ben Glebe]

Exactly. They've got Chill Flex by Kenneth Cole, Joseph Abboud, and a tailor at every store for the perfect fit.

[Leon Nayfak]

Congrats. You can stop calling now.

[Ben Glebe]

That a chance.

[Leon Nayfak]

Hit any look for every occasion at Men's Wearhouse. Love the way you look.

[Jameela Jamil]

And we're back. Bloody hell, Ben. That was crazy. It's like a film scene. It's like a Will Ferrell movie. You have to put that in something. It's absolutely hysterical.

[Ben Glebe]

Okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, it jumps off the page.

[Ben Glebe]

Would you like to play my. My dangling dog or my mother or the parking lot?

[Jameela Jamil]

I'd like to play your dangling dog. Dog.

[Ben Glebe]

That'd be great.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, I think I've. I think I have that in my. In my range audition.

[Ben Glebe]

Could I see how you would do it? Oh, that's actually very good.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank you.

[Ben Glebe]

It was simple one sound, but it conveyed a lot.

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, cuz like I don't want to over impose in the scene. You know what I mean? Like, I'm a team player. It's not about me.

[Ben Glebe]

I get that.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's about you and the crema.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Can I be your mommy?

[Ben Glebe]

Okay. Just turn me on. We'll be right back.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, Rachel. Rachel, it's time for your big wrong turn.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Okay. I was really obsessed with this guy that worked at the pizza place. I was in a dark chapter of my life.

[Ben Glebe]

All your stories start with you being obsessed with people in very random jobs. Like a big spectrum.

[Jameela Jamil]

The house community is all like. They only want someone with six figures who's six foot four and da da, da, da. It's like, look at Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I was throbbingly depressed. I had no job. I was living with this very lovely Bengali family that I'd met on a greyhound. And she offered me to move in with her because I was. But I had no job. And it was like, you Know, I was living way to Woodhaven, Queens, and so I would just get paint myself and go look at the pizza man and who I had a real big crush on. He was probably very alarmed by me, but I think one day I just kind of wore him down. And I was like the last thing left when he was closing up and he was like, all right, and I'll hook up with her or whatever. So we. We started dating.

[Ben Glebe]

Not just a quick hookup with the pizza.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Well, we hadn't hooked up yet because I was like, still making him cuddle. My friends would scream at me about this. They do it for my husband too. They're like, stop having your weir, like Christian sleepovers. They call my Mormon sleepovers or whatever. My friends call my husband Backdraft. My friends like, just fuck Backdraft. Just fuck him. Stop doing your weird Mormons. She's like, do you think you have a golden pussy?

[Jameela Jamil]

And you were like, yes, I do.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, I've been talking about on stage trying to get that bit going. It's not working that well where I go, yes, I do have a golden pussy. My daddy said he bought it for three bitcoin off the Dark Web.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Jesus. My pussy's an appreciating asset. Anyway, so he actually came out like a nurse part time later he was living with his grandma. I don't know, he had a lot of issues. But we needed a place to hook up. I was living with my Bengali family. He was living with his family still. And so we ended up deciding to go get a hotel. I'd sometimes stayed at my friend's house, but her grandma died and so she didn't want me there bringing my weird Mormon sleepovers over. So we decided to get a hotel. But we didn't have much cash in between. So we ended up checking into this hotel. And I noticed that there was an hourly rate, but I didn't think much of it. And so we went upstairs and we laid on the bed to Mormon. And then I turned. He turned the TV on and it was just. Every station was porn. You know these hotels, Ben. You've been to them many times.

[Ben Glebe]

Don't drag me into this depraved world you're in. So every pizza man in your pornho

[Jameela Jamil]

tune, Rachel, thank you for knowing that. I would have no idea what you're talking about.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Not this gentle fucking flower over here. Not my fucking flamingo. No, she doesn't go to hotels like this. So each station was just another porn. Because I just kept trying to find something you know, and it was just like, just, oh, yeah. Fuck yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. Every fucking station. It was all just. Just one porn was about this horn or blind sister that we tried to watch for a little make fun of. Because it was like, he just like gave the other lady a tip. He's like, I'm going out for a little while. But just so you know, I have a blind sister in case she needs any help. One of the other guys there tried to help her in the kitchen.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh my God.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's the dumbest way to start a porn. Running some errands. My blind sister might need some help. I. E. Your sudden copy. But anyway, every porn, the premise of

[Ben Glebe]

it is like they were like last second realized they need a premise as they're shooting. They're like, maybe someone's blind. And then you sad, you save them. Go.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You're right. That's what I was gonna say about the magazine porn I found on my uncles. Is that always. Those always start out where the woman is living in a very official and proper life. You know what I mean? But at the end of the day, we find out she's a godless whore, isn't she? It was like, you know, Chrissy was working at the firm all day, but by night all she wanted was to be pile drive by the football team.

[Ben Glebe]

Ramroded.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We prefer the term ramroded by the collective. Yes, that was what it was said.

[Ben Glebe]

It's also like people in porn. Sorry to continue the porn tangent, but it's like they don't exist in real life. They don't know how real life happens. The porn director's like, whatever that doesn't match reality. But go like, the doorbell will ring and the woman will be like, on the balcony inside the house, 80ft from the door, she'll just go like, come in.

[Jameela Jamil]

My favorite thing is just how many are like a man who's coming to clean a woman's window and she's just like legs wide open, just wanking at the window.

[Ben Glebe]

I would have thought that was unrealistic until hearing all of Rachel's stories. Yeah, but it seems like any vocation, she's really turned on.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She's a lady.

[Jameela Jamil]

She's a cuddler.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Well, yeah, I'm turned on, but then I make a Mormon sleepover for a while. I don't know, I'm confused.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm exactly the same.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Connections with sexual relationships.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm exactly the same. It takes ages before I have sex with someone.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Me too. Yeah, because it's not because I think That I have a golden pussy. Honestly, it's because I would get attached too soon. So I put them through all these weird trauma trials, but. And Mormons. But I tell them ahead of time. I'm like, look, if I'm gonna say over. You're gonna have a semi. Like, if I was your sexual attorney, I'd recommend you don't take this deal. Like, it's not a good deal for you. Like, his counsel advise you against this, but. So we were laying on the bed, and so we were laying there, and every, you know, station, we just kept changing the channel, and it was just like, I am. And. And then he packed pajamas. So I kind of expected that he was. Which I feel like is a signal to a woman that you don't want to be inside her. Like, I don't know. There's something about his, like, giants. Matching pajamas.

[Ben Glebe]

Like, he was just, like, signal you don't want to be inside any woman.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Ben Glebe]

Pajamas on a trip.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And I will say this. I feel like, are they matching? They were matching Giants PJs. It looks bad. His mom.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm turned on by this.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Really?

[Jameela Jamil]

I think that is adorable. Just adorable.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You find arousal.

[Jameela Jamil]

I just think it's adorable. I think that is just so sweet. It's like. It feels like such a neurodivergent thing to do.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I mean, I just think that is really. That is very sweet. It feels respectful.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It feels bound rules. Very literally. Not that the Mormon rules are ironic. Let me be clear about my stance. No means no, of course. But in a Mormon, part of it is like, you know, tits are complimentary. There's just some sort of. Arousal is obviously very welcomed.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But he was just kind of stiff next to me, you know, and in his giants PJs. And then we just kind of sat there. It was one of the more throbbingly lonely moments of my life. And then I. Throbbingly lonely.

[Ben Glebe]

I love you. Trying to make lonely sound hot. It was throbbingly lonely.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You know, when you're kind of buzzing

[Jameela Jamil]

with sadness, I feel like.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I feel when I'm in la, I have a loud loneliness. You know what I'm saying? Because I don't know what's going on. I get lonelier here. And I feel like I buzz. I do feel like there's a sound to me. My L. I said that on a podcast and they're. I was like. They're like, what's been going on with you? And you ever just answer way too honestly. And I was pretty lonely, actually. I've been Pretty lonely lately. Clip it. I really regretted that the way home. Like you do announce you're lonely. Oh, dark terrain, my friend. But anyway, so my friend that I was going to go back to her house. I couldn't like wake up my Bengali mom at that point. They had like a wedding that day and I feel like she was going to smell the on me. So I was like. So I decided to go back to my

[Jameela Jamil]

like bloodhounds.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It smells a little electric car, like whatever. Like Tony Soprano would wear this perfume I was wearing with this guy. He told me during the sleepover that his. I asked him who he admired or something. We were talking about like, what do you want to do for his life? Or what he wanted to think about next for his career. And he said his biggest hero was the Rock. It was one of the good career.

[Ben Glebe]

Cole wrestler to movie star. Very attainable.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You know, I also dated a guy who was an alcoholic ones who said that his biggest regret in life was not being a fighter pilot. And I said that he deserved to be with someone that didn't think that was hilarious. That's how we gently ended our relationship. Is there a dumber regret than not being a fighter pilot? Come the fuck on.

[Jameela Jamil]

That is one of the greatest ways to humble someone that I've ever heard of in my life.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He was always screaming about it when he was drunk. I'm like, Chris, there's no dumber regret than this. I've dated so many drunks. I used to think you could like call AA and like report them. And when I was like 25, like I thought they would just pick up your drunk for you. Like, like it was like AAA for drunks. Like, come get him. Like he was a pedophile in a band. I'm like, get him. He's screaming about regret, fighting being a fucking fighter pilot again. Just pick him up. I'm like, he's outside of a Dave and Busters arguing about his constitutional rights right now. What more info do you need? So then we. I got back to my friend's house instead. I went to my friend's girlfriend's house whose grandma had freshly passed away. And she had a cat, Captain Pancakes. And before I was there. Captain Pancakes is a terrific name. No notes, right?

[Ben Glebe]

Passed away. Also, it's just one of the great phrases. Yeah, you somehow made it sound appealing.

[Jameela Jamil]

Delicious.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Delicious season.

[Ben Glebe]

Like a pizza man all over again.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Actually, we had a cat named Mojo, which is a pretty solid name too. And my brother once called in sick to work and said that his grandma died and, you know, he just wanted to go to Ocean City to go bang some girl. And he was, like, 16. And so our cat Mojo died the same fucking weekend. And the lady calls my mom and says, says, I'm so sorry for your loss. And my mom says, oh, please. She was throwing up all over the basement. You know, it was time. She was spitting everywhere, and she could barely use one of the damn legs. So we. It was a good time to put her down. And then the woman now thinks my mom is just a heightened cunt. My mom thinks she's insane. She's like. She kept asking me about Mojo. I said, please. She's spitting everywhere. It was way too long. She just keeps choking up things and barfing. I should just be. I just need to be stopped right now. Somebody else needs to talk.

[Jameela Jamil]

Can you get back to your story?

[Ben Glebe]

That's a great question. I don't know if she can.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't know if I can't either. Okay. Basically, the ending isn't grand.

[Ben Glebe]

All right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's not a big splash.

[Jameela Jamil]

There have been so many branches to this tree.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, it's great. All of them have been in.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I think I doubled up on my edt.

[Ben Glebe]

I'm not even sure I know why we went to the hotel. In the hotel story.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I think we're lonely. Why do you think? I was spending six hours a day at a pizza parlor. I was pulsing the loneliness, and he heard the buzz. That's why he was like, all right, fine. Let's go to a fucking hooker hotel and get this over with.

[Ben Glebe]

Jamila, it turns out the good place is the bad place.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes, indeed.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I mean, I don't know. I just also, I would ask him for help with stuff because I heard, like, Patty Stanger say that men want you to ask him for help with things. So I'd be like, can you fix this for me? Which works that everybody's. But my husband. I'll be like, hey, can you open this? He said, put your knees into it. Like, am I trying to open a jar or something? Come on, use your body. Anyway, so we went back. Captain Pancakes. Apparently, before I left, I fucking. When I went over there asking if I could bring the guy over there. Earlier, I'd left the window open. Captain Pancakes had escaped. Okay, so now I have the fudgeing, most disappointing, confusing night of my life, where I just laid next to this man who laid there like a board, and I used him to fucking create a hug with one of his autistic. And then I come back there and realize that she's furious with me. Her grandma's wounded and Pancakes is gone. So we all drove together. The pajamas guy called him and told him and he drove around and we found Captain Pancakes. And now we live together in a fun loving sitcom house. And now we live by the shore and we eat cheesecake in the middle of the night.

[Jameela Jamil]

Round of applause. Oh my goodness. For two people. Well, especially you being like I don't really have that much that's going on. This has been one of the most mental episodes we've ever had at the podcast so far. I've loved it so much it feels like group therapy. You two have been amazing. This has been one of the more chaotic moments of my entire life, not just the podcast. I adore you both. Before you go, will you tell people where they can find you, what you want them to watch and listen to? Ben?

[Ben Glebe]

Sure. As you mentioned up top. I've just created the first ever late night Talk show for YouTube. It's called Good Night with Ben Gleb.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So cool.

[Ben Glebe]

Thank you Rachel. Our band leaders, the drummer, the Black Eyed Peas, Keith Harris. Stuart Bailey, who also produces this podcast with you is our showrunner. Amazing multi Emmy winning producer of the Daily show with John Stewart. We've got an incredible team of people. We've got some of the best guests already announced for season one, including Jamila is going to be coming on the show and Sophia Bush and Dr. Mark Hyman. We're booking alongside celebrities, thought leaders to help level up people's lives in this talk show. We've got Tiffany Haddish and Nikki Glaser and Scott Galloway and all these really cool people. And so I love Nikki so much. She actually is a backer of the show and supported it and so you can follow it at YouTube. Oodnight on YouTube is where we'll drop the show every Thursdays at 10pm Eastern every week indefinitely. Maybe for the rest of my life or at make it a goodnight on Instagram makeitagoodnight.com you can get tickets to be in our virtual virtual audience and be part of the first ever worldwide virtual studio audience for a talk show as well. Or just watch it on YouTube for free.

[Jameela Jamil]

Amazing. Congratulations.

[Ben Glebe]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

I can't wait to see you on it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And Rachel, you can see me in Long Island.

[Ben Glebe]

Impossible.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'll be in Long island at Uncle Funnies. I'm really changing the game for women. No. You could go to my website or punch up live page. Rachel-Feinstein.com is my website for my tour dates. I have an hour special out right now on Netflix called Big Guy that's streaming there.

[Jameela Jamil]

Fabulous. Thank you so much for coming on. I adore you both.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Thank you. Yay.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo of your own Wrong Turn Turns. All you have to do is email personal disaster storiesmail.com you can find full length videos of our episodes on YouTube. And don't forget to subscribe, like review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends about us. And if you are also enjoying me as a person, I have a substack. It's called a Low Desire to Please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna fuck off now. Bye.

[Leon Nayfak]

I'm Leon Naifak, best known as the co creator of Slow Burn and Fiasco. I had of course heard of OnlyFans, but always with a distant and quiet skepticism. A silent judgment, you might say. Who is actually using this platform?

[Gracie Kanan]

Um, I am. Hi, I'm OnlyFans creator and comedian Gracie Kanan. I work from home now. I'm on OnlyFans. And in case you guys don't know what OnlyFans is, ask your husband.

[Leon Nayfak]

My journalistic curiosity got the best of me when I found out that my own sister had started an OnlyFans account.

[Gracie Kanan]

I'm not his sister.

[Leon Nayfak]

Just to clarify, it turns out a lot of what I thought I knew about OnlyFans was wrong.

[Ben Glebe]

I felt like I wasted 3.5 years

[Rachel Feinstein]

for something that wasn't real.

[Gracie Kanan]

What happens when connection comes with a price point? Listen to Only Fantasy wherever you get your podcasts or binge all episodes of Only Fantasy ad free right now only on Audible. Start your Audible subscription in the Audible app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Instacart makes grocery shopping easier. And just because you're not doing the shopping yourself doesn't mean you don't care how it's done. With Instacart Shopper notes, you can get particular about what you want right in the app. Like rotisserie chicken that's extra crisp. Crispy steak with marbling the Romans would have loved, and lettuce you'd actually pick yourself. Just leave a note for your shopper so they can get it right for you without having to ask. That way you can get groceries just how you like. Download the Instacart app and shop today.