Rory Scovel and James Adomian

Summary

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Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Episode: Rory Scovel and James Adomian
Date: May 21, 2026

Episode Overview

This riotous episode of Wrong Turns brings together comedians Rory Scovel and James Adomian for an hour of self-deprecating, mortifying, and utterly relatable disaster stories. Under Jameela Jamil’s trademark irreverence, the trio delight in the philosophy that life is just one humiliating blunder after another—so we might as well share the shame. The episode covers everything from vaccine conspiracies and existentially troubled dogs to the trauma of onstage bombings and the universally dreadful experience of sharting in public. Listeners get not only gut-busting anecdotes but also a gentle reminder that nobody is immune to embarrassment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Welcoming the Guests and Setting the Scene

• Jameela Jamil introduces Rory Scovel and James Adomian with tongue-in-cheek fanfare, mocking the idea of “uplift” and emphasizing the show’s dedication to anti-inspiration and commiseration.
• Both comedians feign mortification over their accomplished resumes:
  • "I always assume I'm doing nothing. It felt great to hear. That was uplifting. It already started out very uplifting." – Rory (01:47)
  • "Don't say that. That's not what we're doing." – Jameela (01:53)

2. Viral Outbreaks, Conspiracies, and a World Gone Mad

• Casual banter about the then-current “Hantavirus” news:
  • James riffs on the conspiratorial mindset: "It hasn't happened yet, but already it's ‘they.’ It's they and them and they're doing it to us." (03:09)
  • Jameela’s sharp quip: "You mean non binary people or..." (03:21)
• Discussion pivots to how society reacts to health scares, highlighting the absurdity of human motivations:
  • Jameela: "If the vaccine had had a side effect of weight loss that we think more people would have taken it." (03:40)

3. COVID Lockdown Confessions

• Jameela shares her unexpectedly blissful early-pandemic experience:
  • "I was having a fucking blast during the first chunk of COVID...It was honestly like the best month of my life." (03:55)
• She reflects self-consciously: "I just realized what a trite fuck I am and was." (04:26)

4. Parenting, Existential Dogs, and the Pain of Awareness

• Rory discusses raising an 11-year-old and the difficulty of ushering kids into the painful realities of life (05:25)
• Jameela introduces “Bunny,” the TikTok-famous existential dog now on antidepressants after pressing word-buttons:
  • "And now Bunny's been put on antidepressants because he's awoken to the reality of life." (06:12)
• Chatter turns to skepticism about the authenticity of Bunny’s existential crisis, with James accusing the family of faking the dog’s messages for online clout:
  • "It goes all the way to the top. The paws are digitally enhanced." (07:00)
• Hilarious improv on Seth Rogen/Alex Jones conspiracy persona mashups: “Seth Jones. Oh, my. Conspiracy theorist. Seth Jones.” (08:01)

5. Micro Humiliations

James' Micro Humiliation: Yelling at Tech and Mistaken Rage

• James recounts renting a car in San Francisco, shouting obscenities at malfunctioning GPS while forgetting the windows are down, only to frighten a woman crossing the street:
  • "I was yelling at the gps. But it sounded like I was yelling at her." (11:18)
  • "Now I roll the windows up and I don't use the gps. You abuse Syrian Private." (12:24)
• Group commiseration on yelling at inanimate objects, and Jameela’s warning that tech is “storing this up” against us (10:36)

Rory's Micro Humiliation: Failing a Grade by One Point

• Rory shares the shame of repeating 10th grade English due to undiagnosed ADHD:
  • "I failed 10th grade English by one point...this is the only school that we think, like, is at our level..." (13:26)
  • The agony of walking into a younger class and having to admit his failure publicly: "To my now, like, new grade, I had to just be like, no, I'm actually, I failed the 10th grade." (14:18)
• Reflection on how subjective English grading is, and whether his teacher “fucked” him over (16:10)

Jameela's Related Anecdote: Bee-Induced Catastrophe

• Explains how childhood bee phobia (inspired by the movie My Girl) led to running into traffic, being struck by cars, breaking her back, and missing a year and a half of school (19:02)
• Her accident became an unexpected detour into television.

6. Parenting Fails and the Santa Dilemma (21:35–29:00)

• Rory discusses the dilemma of when to reveal the truth about Santa Claus, recalling his devastation at learning the truth at 12:
  • "It was a moment of the first time, me going, oh, I bet this other thing is bullshit too. And it like, it really kind of made a light bulb go off…” (23:20)
• All riff on the awkwardness of “big talks” with kids—sex education included.
• General absurdity about hiring a “mall Santa” to break the news, and how AI might complicate future parenting (28:32)

7. Big Wrong Turns

James’ Big Wrong Turn: Bombing Opening for Joan Rivers (32:26–45:52)

• Details accepting a high-paying gig to open for Joan Rivers in front of 3,000 elderly, skeptical South Florida casino patrons.
• Immediately jeered, heckled, and dismissed before delivering material. “Where’s Joan?” dominates the heckling (35:58).
• Tries to address hecklers with a joke about “not letting the last moments of their lives be spent booing someone,” which unites the crowd in anger (37:44)
• Audience member gets a standing ovation for flipping him off; Rivers mercifully intervenes, restarts the set, and gives him a heroic intro (“He’s David Letterman’s best friend”) (39:51–41:39)
• Coming out as gay on stage—crowd splits between bigoted and supportive old-timers, creating a surreal, hostile environment (41:40)
• Joan Rivers closes by calling out the hecklers: "So what if he wasn't funny? You watch Jay Leno every night, you stupid cunt." (43:35)
• James’s takeaway: “I was a very good opening act. The audience was on their feet and full of energy for the headliner!” (43:48)

Rory’s Big Wrong Turn: Sharting at a Childhood Pool Party (46:22–54:03)

• At 12, Rory farts and sharts in his stepmother’s car, then desperately tries to discard his soiled underwear—first failing to flush, then hiding it in a friend’s little brother’s bedroom (48:19–49:25)
• Years later, the friend confirms the underwear was labeled with Rory’s name, cementing his shame:
  • “He messaged me not that long ago. And he goes, I just want you to know your name was in that underwear. My family laughs about it all the time.” (52:13)
• Hilarious asides about how no one warns you about sharting, and debates over proper disposal etiquette.

James’ Elevator Fart Escape

• James’s “short version” humiliation: after farting alone in an elevator, realizes a group is about to get in—he bolts as the doors open, confirming his guilt for all (54:15–54:44)

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8. Audience Disgrace: “Misery Loves Company” (56:55–57:24)

• Listener Armando’s story: discovers he sleepwalked—while masturbating—into his dorm hallway, only to be found by a neighbor.
• James: “That just unlocked a new fear for me.” (57:08)
• Jameela: “Sleep wanking is crazy. And Mike Birbiglia thinks he has problems.” (57:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jameela (on podcast tone):
  "We are pro-commiseration. We don't want to have a silver lining shoved up our anus any longer in this world." (00:57)

• James (on accidental GPS abuse):
  "I yell at inanimate objects like I never would a real person... That's a problem I inherited from my dad." (10:18)

• Rory (on repeating a grade):
  "To my now, like, new grade, I had to just be like, no, I'm actually, I failed the 10th grade." (14:18)

• James (explaining the Joan Rivers gig):
  "They pour in and like the level of oldness is... you couldn't see all the way to the back of the room. It was just like looking into history." (34:16)

• Onstage Humiliation:
  "Don't let the last moments of your lives be spent booing someone." (37:44)

• Joan Rivers’ defense:
  "So what if he wasn't funny? You watch Jay Leno every night, you stupid cunt." (43:35)

• Rory (sharting story):
  "At that point in my life did not know that you could shit yourself by farting... Why would you ever know that unless another friend has done that and divulged that to you?" (47:27)

• Listener story (sleepwalking):
  "Next thing I realize, I am in my hallway. But far worse, I was hard poking out of my boxer briefs. A guy I barely knew came home late and discovered me sleepwalk jerking." (56:55)

  • Jameela: "Sleep wanking is crazy." (57:10)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:57 — Episode theme, anti-inspiration, guest intros
• 03:32 — Hantavirus and conspiracy theories
• 03:55 — Jameela’s early COVID experience
• 05:13 — Parenthood woes and existential dogs
• 08:56 — Micro humiliations: James’ GPS rage
• 12:56 — Micro humiliations: Rory repeats a grade
• 19:02 — Jameela’s car-bee accident
• 21:35 — Parenting, Santa Claus reveal dilemma
• 32:26 — James’ big wrong turn: Opening for Joan Rivers
• 46:22 — Rory’s big wrong turn: Sharting at a pool party
• 54:03 — James’ elevator fart story
• 56:55 — Listener “Misery Loves Company” story

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Recap & Takeaways

This episode nails the Wrong Turns ethos: everyone is a walking collection of embarrassing missteps, from sharting in a car to being heckled by hundreds of senior citizens. The hilarity and honesty turn cringe into catharsis, with the guests holding nothing back. Whether you’re a failed grade-repeater, a GPS abuser, or just worried about sleep-wanking in public, you’re in good company. As Jameela says, “We don’t want a silver lining—we just want to laugh together at each other’s disasters.”

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Where to Find the Guests:

• Rory Scoville: roryscoville.com, @RoryScoville everywhere
• James Adomian: YouTube ("Path of Most Resistance"), social as @jadomian

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Note: This summary omits ads and non-content segments.

Transcript

[Rory Scoville]

Seeking, pushing, optimizing, creating, learning, discovering. At Aramco, we believe in harnessing the power of data to push the limits of what's possible. That's how we deliver reliable energy to millions across the world. Aramco, an integrated energy and chemicals company. Learn more about [e-mail] ActiveCampaign is the

[James Adomian]

marketing automation platform built for big swings and big dreams. Generate ideas in seconds, import your brand, and create full campaigns with simple prompts. Get started for [e-mail].

[Jameela Jamil]

Hello, and welcome to Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil. This is a podcast where dignity goes to die. We despise inspiration on this podcast. For those who are new, we are pro commiseration. We don't want to have a silver lining shoved up our anus any longer in this world, all right? It's all ending. It's all going to shit. And so we just need to laugh together at each other. I get to bring on my favourite funny people every week, and today I have two incredibly exciting guests. We are joined by a very funny comedian, actor, writer and producer from Physical Babylon, I Feel Pretty and Rooster. His hilarious special religion, Sex and A few things in between is streaming on HBO Max. He co hosts the podcast Crimeless, and he just recorded his latest special from his know your enemy tour. It's Rory Scoville. Hello.

[Rory Scoville]

Thank you. I didn't even know I've done that many things.

[James Adomian]

I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

People get so shocked by their intros. They're like, I have been busy.

[Rory Scoville]

I always assume I'm doing nothing. I felt great to hear. That was uplifting. It already started out very uplifting.

[Jameela Jamil]

Don't say that. That's not what we're doing.

[Rory Scoville]

I could be doing more.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, good.

[Rory Scoville]

I could be doing better.

[Jameela Jamil]

Good. Exactly.

[James Adomian]

And we welcome Stay humble.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

And we welcome an actor, comedian and impressionist who has performed on Netflix, Jimmy Kimmel Live Comedy, Bang Bang, Rick and Morty, Family Guy, and the late, Great Late show with Stephen Colbert. You can watch his special path of Most resistance on YouTube. It's James Adomian. Hello.

[James Adomian]

Thank you. Thank you. I was actually bumped from Fallon. Oh, is that a good thing to bring up?

[Rory Scoville]

Yes.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Yes.

[Rory Scoville]

This is when you would do. This is.

[James Adomian]

Some of those credits didn't happen.

[Rory Scoville]

This is the show to do that.

[James Adomian]

They didn't take me off of IMDb, though. They were like, oh, yeah. So it's there.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, fantastic. Why mess with it?

[Rory Scoville]

Use it, take it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Before we started rolling, we were talking about hanta, the hantavirus. It's coming. Hanta. What are you guys doing for Hanta?

[Rory Scoville]

Is it bad? I know it's bad in terms of people die, but is it just in the news or is there an outbreak? Are we fucked?

[Jameela Jamil]

I think it's probably not that bad, but it's gonna be a really helpful way for a midterm election to be really difficult to have. But I don't think that that's why it's happening now. I just wanna be clear. I just think it's an quincident.

[Rory Scoville]

I like that.

[Jameela Jamil]

And that is fluent Italian.

[James Adomian]

I'm preparing my conspiratorial view on it. It hasn't happened yet, but already it's they. It's they and them and they're doing it. They're doing it to us. And I'm not gonna take the antivirus.

[Jameela Jamil]

You mean non binary people or.

[James Adomian]

No, I mean. I mean the conspiracy people. Good question.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, you do want to be clear about that.

[James Adomian]

You have to be clear about which

[Jameela Jamil]

way you're wrong they and the them spreading a vi.

[James Adomian]

Yeah, yeah. No. If it's a vaccine, I'm not taking it. If it's a pill, I'm flushing it down the toilet.

[Rory Scoville]

Good.

[James Adomian]

Yep.

[Jameela Jamil]

We were saying earlier that if the vaccine had had a side effect of weight loss that we think more people would have taken it.

[Rory Scoville]

That's right.

[Jameela Jamil]

Because of the way that everyone's jabbing away.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's mad. That's the.

[Rory Scoville]

Many of us could say that's what will happen and people will go do it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh man.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I remember during the first like, during COVID like in the first kind of couple of weeks, I'd already had Covid, so I wasn't afraid. So when contagion came out and we watched it, I was like, what? I've done it. But I remember being asked by like journalists because I was promoting something at the time over the phone, they'd be like, how are you? And I was having a fucking blast during the first chunk of COVID because I've never. I hadn't had time off in four years. And I was like, I'd just gotten a puppy and I was at home with the puppy and my boyfriend and like my best friends were living with us and we were in a bubble and it was honestly like the best month of my life. And I was like, I'm amazing. I mean, I'm very sad and worried about the world. It's dark and I just realized what a trite fuck I am and was. And it was just a horrible harrowing day. So I'm getting better to prepare for the next one.

[Rory Scoville]

Good.

[Jameela Jamil]

With like, very worried, very sad.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

And then you didn't get a puppy. Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

You hang up, you turn the music

[James Adomian]

up, you dance, throw on some vinyl.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Pretty great. Does disaster find either of you often? Would you say. What is that, James? What is that reaction?

[James Adomian]

I love it. Yes. Yes, sure. But you know you can manage it if you see it coming.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[Rory Scoville]

Fair.

[Jameela Jamil]

Are you parents?

[Rory Scoville]

I am.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're a parent?

[Rory Scoville]

I have a child.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[Rory Scoville]

I have a child. I have an 11. Almost 11 year old.

[Jameela Jamil]

Congratulations.

[Rory Scoville]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's a really long time to keep someone alive. I'm struggling with a plant.

[Rory Scoville]

It's tough. I will say though, it gets easier in keeping them alive in the sense that they become more self sufficient. And then the difficult part is that they're slowly waking up to the reality of life in the world and getting older. So that's. The difficult part is going. I know we tried to keep you from this as long as possible, but yet now here's the truth.

[Jameela Jamil]

Have you seen that dog that's gone viral on TikTok in the last two years? I can't remember. Maybe his name's like Billy. Well, yeah, no. Okay.

[Rory Scoville]

That's that one.

[Jameela Jamil]

This dog called, I think Bunny. So first mistake, something like that. He's this big poodle and they gave him like a few buttons to learn words.

[James Adomian]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

And then they ended up with giving him 100 buttons.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

And now he started having like an existential crisis, asking questions like, why am I a dog? What is the meaning of life? And now Bunny's been put on antidepressants because he's awoken to the reality of life.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

And I'm like, it's terrible here. Why would we ever have fucked with that?

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

With that dog.

[Rory Scoville]

Do we think that. We think that dog is really pressing buttons that form sentences and asking big, deep questions.

[James Adomian]

He knows there's a treat behind a certain combination of them.

[Jameela Jamil]

But like, what is he, Liberace that he memorized?

[James Adomian]

Well, I just wonder.

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't know which one.

[James Adomian]

He's not out of the closet.

[Rory Scoville]

I think he's. I think he's. They're editing it in. I actually want to be on this show. Be the one who's accusing that family of post editing those questions, folks.

[James Adomian]

It goes, right. It goes all the way to the top. I think the pause, the pause, the pause. Are digitally enhanced. That's. Leave that information, folks. I will never submit to your canine conspiracy.

[Rory Scoville]

It's kind of Seth Rogen. There's a little bit.

[James Adomian]

If he was. Yeah. If he wasn't, I didn't have an evil brain. He would have just been a likable, deep voice guy.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. His voice acting. He could have done a lot of work. He could have.

[James Adomian]

Or alternately, if Seth Rogen had gone the Alex Jones path. Yeah. It's like maybe. Maybe it's like 9, 11. Maybe it's like 11, 9. It's like an inside job. Conspiracy theory. If there was another universe where they had crossed Alex Rogan. It's not my child. It's not my child. I'm not the father of a child.

[Rory Scoville]

Seth Jones. Oh, my. Conspiracy theorist. Seth Jones.

[James Adomian]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, God, that's great.

[Jameela Jamil]

Really came out of nowhere.

[James Adomian]

Fuck. That is great. All right. I'm taking interested investors. I don't have the rights to either of them.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes. Okay. I wasn't sure where that was gonna go. I was like, he's gonna. I was like, he's gonna blame the they thems again. It's gonna happen for the dog.

[James Adomian]

Right. I gotta be careful of that. Because it's. There's two meanings to so many meanings.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

It's they the ones doing the conspiracies or the good they.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, of course. Wow. I. I didn't see that coming. It's one of my favorite moments in the history of the podcast so far. I think we need to move into micro humiliations. Absolutely. Immediately. All right. This is where we give people just a small taste of what's to come when it comes to your error making in life. Okay. So I think. I think we should start with James.

[James Adomian]

Okay. So I don't usually drive. I don't. Haven't owned a car in a long time, but I do. I can still drive. So when I'm driving, it's like renting a car out of town or something. And I was on the road, and I was in San Francisco and had rent. I just rented a car in San Francisco. And so I drive, like, you know, a few times a year. I'm not, like, bad, but I didn't know how to work the car, you know, And I was. It was San Francisco. So you pull out of the rental car lot and you're immediately in a major street. Yeah. No way to turn off.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

There's no parking lot to pull over to in San Francisco and be like, which dial does which thing? If you. If you try to do that, bam, you're in Oakland.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

And so I had just pulled out and was being Routed down a street, down a street, down a street. And there was a GPS navigation system built in. And it was slow and wrong. It was too slow. So it would be like, turn left after it was just passed. And there's a thing about me where I yell at inanimate objects. Like, I never would a real person. And I don't. I would never yell at a person ever. But if I bump my head on a cabinet, you. You asshole bitch. You know? And I'm like, that. That's a problem I inherited from my dad.

[Jameela Jamil]

So I like it that way around.

[Rory Scoville]

I think we all did, though. I think that's probably the most relatable thing amongst all people, other than breathing and shitting, is that we all yell at inanimate objects.

[Jameela Jamil]

100%. Do you yell at tech? This is a huge mistake, though.

[James Adomian]

Oh. Because it's gonna get back at me.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. They're listening. They're storing this up. The humans are gonna be replaced with the people. So you have to keep an eye on that. Okay. I'm like, y. Thank you. I'll suck your dick, Siri. Like all of that.

[Rory Scoville]

I'm saying stuff like that to microwaves. They're not even alive.

[James Adomian]

I'm going to have a USB port.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Adomian]

I'll have a USB port installed so it can me.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

So the GPS have up several times. And I was slowly being routed towards the Golden Gate Bridge to go to the go over the bay. Paid, pay a bunch of money, and have to like, circle back. And I'm like, wrong. God damn it. You stupid son of a bitch. And the windows were down.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes.

[James Adomian]

And I didn't notice until it was too late that there was a professional woman crossing the street in the sidewalk right in front of me. And she gave me the look like I was yelling at her for. Because I had. I came to a stop and then I was yelling at the gps. But it sounded like I. I get it. She was right. It sounded like I was yelling at her. She gave me the look like, what? And before I could apologize, there was like a big truck that came in between us.

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

[James Adomian]

And then the light changed and people were like. And I had to drive off onto the bridge that I didn't want to

[Rory Scoville]

get on and live with that.

[James Adomian]

Yes. And I have. I have thought, like, I have thought, how could I possibly find this woman and be like, it wasn't you. It wasn't you.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes.

[James Adomian]

I'm driving around San Francisco yelling out my open windows into the night. I wasn't yelling at you.

[Rory Scoville]

I Hope she writes into this. Show me I was the woman.

[Jameela Jamil]

Exactly. 100. There's a good chance she might have. We have a strong Californian following.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

I don't know what else to tell you, but this might be your moment. That is mortifying.

[James Adomian]

Yeah, I feel bad about it. And so now I. Now I roll the windows up and I don't use the gps.

[Jameela Jamil]

You abuse Syrian Private.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, you're more AC now.

[James Adomian]

You're.

[Rory Scoville]

You're invested in the ac, right? Spend the money.

[James Adomian]

I got more suburban. It taught me to be more suburban and locked into a cube. I became more of an isolated car guy.

[Jameela Jamil]

Amazing.

[James Adomian]

And no more human interactions because I can't handle them.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, no, no, no. It's not safe for anyone. It doesn't sound like. Rory.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

What's your micro humiliation?

[Rory Scoville]

You know mine, I went to a private Episcopalian high school in the 90s and I was not a great student. I had ADHD. This is the 90s. It's undiagnosed. And also, even if you're diagnosed and they start feeding you Ritalin or Adderall or whatever, everyone just believes you're choosing to not pay attention. Like, we're in that.

[Jameela Jamil]

That we're in that phase just coming out of failing.

[Rory Scoville]

Everyone thinks it's.

[James Adomian]

Yeah, anyway, pay attention, dumb boy.

[Rory Scoville]

Exactly. And So I filled 10th grade English by one point. And this school said to make up that credit, you had to go away to, like, a boarding school all summer. That's the. This is the only school that we think, like, is at our level to, you know, actually be accredited for it. And my dad was like, I mean, we didn't have any money. My dad was like, no, we. I went to this private school because basically our family was on, like, financial assistance, like, scholarship thing. We met a quota of, like, lower income families getting to go here. And so my dad was like, no, we can't afford you going to, like, a boarding school. You'll just have to go repeat it. And the first day every year, each grade had to have their own, like, private assembly for their grade. Like, some people would be in the library, a grade would be in the library or the theater or the gym or wherever the fuck. And I remember that first day. I'm walking into the, like, the open library space where all the sophomores are. And as I'm walking up, people are like, oh, Roy, the juniors are in the theater. And to my now, like, new grade, I had to just be like, no, I'm actually, I failed the 10th grade. And so I. I this is where I'm supposed to be. And to watch people like take that in and go, just be like, oh, okay. And you're just soaking it in.

[Jameela Jamil]

I bet they all worked so hard that year. Now that they know that that actually

[Rory Scoville]

happens to people, they, I don't know, I feel like they were all like, everybody there was super smart. I felt out of place the whole time because I just, I was always

[Jameela Jamil]

ADHD a nicer speed the year below.

[Rory Scoville]

It was, it was good to have already taken the class. Yeah, it was good to already know what books this time I might read.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

But yeah, it was, it was strange. I could tell they were like, oh. Like immediately became oh. No one knew this element of your personality, but now we're all looking at you like, oh, you're, you're dumb. And, and you knew. That was like the takeaway. It was like, oh, you're dumb. And I've told people this too, because I failed English by one point. When I tell people that of my past, like my sophomore year, they're like, how do you fail English? And I'm always like, you know, it's not just talking English. They're like, yeah, but you're. You speak English.

[James Adomian]

I'm like, that's not what it fucking is.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Sorry.

[Jameela Jamil]

I will say though, I will say, but it is a bit fucked that you can fail on English given that that's not like maths where there's a right answer and a wrong answer. English is subjective. It's like art.

[Rory Scoville]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

So I feel like you got fucked by your teacher.

[Rory Scoville]

Let me just tell you, it's up

[Jameela Jamil]

to them whether or not you get a good grade or not for one point on something as subjective. Maybe they were in a bad mood that day. Maybe they didn't get what you were saying. They didn't understand your clear brain.

[Rory Scoville]

I said all this. They were having none of it.

[James Adomian]

Just claimed to have been a free thinking poet.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes, I will say, and I know that we're not have there's no silver linings, but in trying to find one, I. It was the right call. Like, I don't know where that teacher is in this world. They could be dead. I have no clue. But if I were to see them again, they would not even remember me, nor care. But I would be like, I think failing me by one point, which seems ridiculous. At the time I was like, that was the right call.

[Jameela Jamil]

Can I, can I just ask quickly, what was that like then? Like, who do you sit at lunch with then? Do you sit with your Old buddies.

[Rory Scoville]

That's a great question. So I still had to take because that was the only class I failed. And that's kind of one of the core ones you had to pass to go up a grade. So I was still taking classes with juniors who also are like, hey, what's it like in the 10th grade, you dumb fucking idiot? And I'm just taking all of this in. What's so funny is that I passed Spanish.

[Jameela Jamil]

That is fucking amazing.

[Rory Scoville]

I didn't even know. I took eight years of Spanish and I somehow passed Spanish, but not English.

[James Adomian]

Can you read the signs when you see them around town? That's my. My Spanish has evolved into. I could be like, I can only guess.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, cuidado.

[Jameela Jamil]

I can only get fed or fucked, like in other countries. Like, that's it. That's just. I know enough Spanish to get fed or fucked. Like, that's it. And then I'm so stupid that I'm. Saw the sign that says ped and it says Xing all around here. And we don't have that sign in England. So when I first moved here, I kept on seeing that sign and I was like, who is Ped Ching? I was like, why does he own so many roads in Los Angeles? Who is this guy? It's so.

[Rory Scoville]

I respect that, though. It does go.

[Jameela Jamil]

I did speak English, but also like, Peter Crossing.

[James Adomian]

I'm glad that you did not go to boarding school because you would have been caught up in the dead poet society.

[Rory Scoville]

Honestly, truly. I obviously probably would have loved that. I've been like, I'm gonna go into a cave and read poetry with my mates.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, man.

[James Adomian]

That's who I would have become.

[Jameela Jamil]

I didn't finish school because I was so scared. Cause I had to repeat a year. But it was because I'd seen my girl, the movie, and was very afraid of bees. And then a bee was coming down the same side of the road as me. And I was like, right. The only way to be saf in this moment is to run into oncoming traffic. And so I ran into the road and got hit by a car onto the other side of the road, where I then got hit by another car.

[James Adomian]

Was the car being driven by a bee?

[Jameela Jamil]

Basically, pretty much it was by a very old man who I traumatized for life. Yeah, well, for whatever. Life. Yeah. And I broke my back and, like, loads of my bones and landed on my head. So then I was in bed for like a year and a half. And then after that, I'm. You know, I'd gone in just before my 17th birthday and I'm like 18 and a half and they're like, do you wanna go back to secondary school? And they were offering because I was at a fancy, like private school on a scholarship and. And they were, I was like, no, I'd rather kill myself. So that's literally how I ended up in television because otherwise I would have just gone on to become a doctor like every other Indian in my family. So, yeah, so I feel you. My terror was of that. So, yeah, I'm glad to know that you came out of it just about. All right, Great, great stories. We'll be right back after a break.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Hi, it's Sarah Gibson Tuttle, founder of Olive in June. If you love having your nails done but you don't have the time or the money to go to a salon every week, I have something just for you. It's called the DIY Mani Challenge. And it starts with one simple idea. Today is the day that you learn to do your own nails. So whether you're brand new to doing your nails or already obsessed with your at home mani routine, this is your invitation to level up your nail game with expert guidance every single step of the way. So no matter where you are in your nail journey, we've got you covered at Olive and June. Are you ready to take the DIY Mani Challenge? We've taught millions to Mani and now it's your turn. So go to oliveandjune.com DIYlove20 for 20% off your first system using code DIYLOVE20. That's oliveandjune.com DIY L O V E20

[Rory Scoville]

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[Jameela Jamil]

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[Jameela Jamil]

Rory, you have one other thing about parenting.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, I. And kind of what we were saying before about my, my 11 year old and they're. And now they come into like sort of their understanding of the world. We live in a phase now of like, when do we tell our kid about Santa Claus? And I know that I didn't learn about Santa Claus until I think I was maybe 12. And I was a late bloomer too, but I was devastated. And I think, I think my family was like, what are you fucking? I think they were kind of like, what do you care? And I.

[Jameela Jamil]

But wait, how old were you when you found out Santa wasn't real?

[James Adomian]

Something like that.

[Jameela Jamil]

16, 17.

[Rory Scoville]

Not refusing to take every hint.

[James Adomian]

Yeah, yeah. It was when I was on the road in San Francisco that time.

[Rory Scoville]

The robot told me, you probably think Santa.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wait, so what was the big reveal for you that made you believe it?

[Rory Scoville]

So I don't really remember how it started. I can. I sort of have a visual memory in my mind of my stepmother and my sister, like in like my parents room, like kind of telling it to me. But I don't remember if I asked her if something slipped up or they were like. Because I had younger siblings too, or if they were like, all right, we're in the company of talking about the holidays. And like, me being like, hey, like somebody, someone said something to me, being like, what does that mean? And then being like, well, you know, Santa's not real. Like, I remember being sort of like something like that. And I remember you were 12. I was like 12. And I remember being like, sort of like ready to cry.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh my God.

[Rory Scoville]

But also kind of being like, yeah, I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, obviously.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, obviously. This thing that I've committed to my entire life because you told me that obviously I never believed it and have no concept of reality or what's anything. And also, I can't pay attention to stuff. Yeah, I remember it and I remember being like, really devastated by it. But also I grew up in a very like, Catholic family and I went to a private, like Catholic school from like kindergarten to eighth grade. And it. And the again to find some sort of a silver lining. It was a moment of the first time, me going, oh, I bet this other thing is bullshit too. And it like, it really kind of made a light bulb go off where I was like, all right, I'm not going to sit here and say that's bullshit, because I don't know. And I get this other. I get these are two different worlds, but for me and the way my mind works and probably the reason I do stand up is because my brain was immediately like, December 25th for both of them. And yet you just told me that one's been a lie the whole time. And that was when I stopped, like, being the kind of person that would not hear anyone talk of, like, religion like that.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is what happened to Alex Jones. Do you reckon he found out Santa Claus wasn't real and then it just opened?

[James Adomian]

It does not stop at the North

[Rory Scoville]

Pole, but I wanted to get sad every time.

[James Adomian]

Yeah, Santa. If Santa's not real, then, like, what about penguins? I. I like imagining that there's, like, a mall Santa who's at a bar, who hears you tell the story, and he just wheels around and goes like, yeah, pal, you can thank me for that. I knew I was creating a truth teller.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

You want a shot on Santa?

[Rory Scoville]

That's actually a great question. Are there any of the guys who do Santa Claus at the mall who are like, you know, the government's not. And you're like, well, what are you.

[James Adomian]

What are you doing? That is. That is the art. That's, like, the. The character type of a mall. Exactly. Is a guy he. What else? He was. He's a retired doctor or he plays mandolin in a bluegrass band. That's all those guys are.

[Rory Scoville]

Truthers. If they're truthers, that is fantastic.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God. Wait, so then you had to break this same truth to your child?

[Rory Scoville]

So. I haven't yet. So we are. My. My child is turning 11 soon, and my wife and I.

[Jameela Jamil]

Kids. Like, how have the other kids at the school not, like, broken this to your kid?

[Rory Scoville]

So we just kind of assumed that would maybe be how it happens. And then maybe one day there's a question and maybe a bigger discussion between

[Jameela Jamil]

the bees talk and Santa.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes. Yeah. But I gotta say, as someone who didn't get, like, these things revealed to me, like, my dad never sat me down to be like, by the way, this is what sex is. And I think about it all the time.

[Jameela Jamil]

So you still don't know, then, I think.

[Rory Scoville]

I do not know. So we just suddenly have a kid. And I'm like, okay, who is that?

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. You're like, okay, everyone's having sex, putting their penises in each other.

[Rory Scoville]

Okay, how did this get here?

[James Adomian]

You should hire a mall Santa like you would hire a clown at a birthday party. Just come over and just tell them that it's bullshit.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah. You're allowed to ask them any question.

[James Adomian]

Come on and sit on Santa's knee.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

Let me tell you something.

[Rory Scoville]

Let me talk to you.

[James Adomian]

Everything that you've been told is fake. I'm severely in debt. I live in Chatsworth.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah. I'm gonna start With Santa's not real. And I'm gonna close with nine. Eleven didn't happen. That's. That's my set list.

[James Adomian]

All I can recommend to you, kid, is a life of heavy drinking and maybe some bluegrass music.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, I don't. I don't know how we're gonna. I. I assume someone at school will say something and then we'll have to talk about. But I don't. I don't mind those bigger conversations. Like, I think it's like, I. I think it's funny that my dad never talked to me about sex because we have this thing of like. Like, it's so strange to talk about sex when. When in reality you're communicating with the next lineage, the next generation of people to go, hey, by the way, here's how you keep our species going, and this is what it is. But instead it's like, I don't know how to talk about this thing. And that's why we have this weird taboo about how people are sexually, because we make it sound like it's wild and crazy.

[James Adomian]

Imagine how hard it was in the primitive times when the oldest guy was like 35.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes.

[James Adomian]

I don't. No wonder we came up with all this bullshit.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, that's a great point.

[Jameela Jamil]

Are you the main truth teller in

[Rory Scoville]

your family or is your wife to our child? Yeah, I think we both are. Are great at it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay.

[Rory Scoville]

Like, the day that we do reveal to my child there is no Santa, I'm going to be so specific to be like, I want you to know why we did this lie, and I think you'll understand, but I just need you to know that I have no other lies. I did. That's the only one.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yes.

[Rory Scoville]

And it's. You can. Hopefully you can categorize it as like, it is a fun lie that only comes with fun and gifts and it's not crazy. I have no other lies for you. I'm not gonna lie everything about. About reality. I'm gonna give you straight up the truth.

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, I've never heard anything this pure in my life. I've never heard of a parent having to break to a. Like a pre. Much a teenager. And for this to happen in two generations in a row is really spectacular.

[Rory Scoville]

I'm.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm so in love with this.

[James Adomian]

I love that you start saying. You say. You sit them down and say that like, this is the only lie and I'm telling. And then you just glitch and you're

[Rory Scoville]

like,

[James Adomian]

Everything you know becomes like a matrix where everyone in the family is

[Rory Scoville]

like, the lies are lies. Wait, so then they're not lies?

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh,

[James Adomian]

Yeah. You know what? An easy out or easy dodge. Just have AI tell the kid that it's not real bad or just no problem.

[Jameela Jamil]

Your family confirms anything you believe. AI will make it impossible for you to then ever convince your child that Santa isn't real.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, okay.

[Jameela Jamil]

There was a guy who did that experiment with AI. You know, ChatGPT. Like, just tells you whatever you want to hear. It was like, hey, like, chat, should I make a business of selling shit on a stick? And it was like, like, oh, my God, bro, that's so subversive. It's funny. It's cool. And gave him a $30,000 business plan as to how he would be able to go about marketing and selling shit. Honesty.

[Rory Scoville]

But do we know that AI is wrong? AI might be like, you have no idea. No one else is. Shut up.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

Hi. Who here loves when their nails are perfectly done?

[Jameela Jamil]

Me.

[Sarah Gibson Tuttle]

I'm Sarah Gibson Tuttle, and I started Olive in June because, let's be real, we all deserve to have gorgeous nails. But who wants to spend a fortune or half their day at the salon? And that's why I created the Mani system. So you can have that salon perfect manicure right at home. And guess what? The best part? Each mani only costs $2. Yup, you heard me. $2. No more. 30, 40, $50 salon trips that eat up your day. Now you can paint your nails whenever you want, wherever you want. And trust me, you're going to be obsessed with your. And everyone is gonna ask you, where did you get your nails done? And here's a little something extra. Head over to OliveAndJune.com and get 20% off your first mani system with code [e-mail] perfectmanny20. That's code perfectmani20 for 20% off at OliveAndJune.com perfectmanny20. You're all set for a nail glow up. Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?

[Jameela Jamil]

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[Rory Scoville]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on

[James Adomian]

car insurance with Liberty Mutual.

[Rory Scoville]

Even if it means sitting front row

[James Adomian]

at a comedy show.

[Rory Scoville]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[James Adomian]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.

[Rory Scoville]

We're married.

[James Adomian]

Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[James Adomian]

Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.

[Jameela Jamil]

Liberty. Liberty.

[Rory Scoville]

Liberty.

[Jameela Jamil]

Liberty. And we're back. All right, James.

[James Adomian]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

What is your big wrong turn?

[James Adomian]

Okay, the big wrong turn. I've told this story before. It happened on stage. I was 30 or 31 years old. It was a while ago, and I was, this was the first time I was on tour as a headliner, I guess. And I was in the middle of that, got a gig, a high pay gig that I couldn't say no to, to open for a comedy legend, Joan Rivers.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wow.

[James Adomian]

And I was like, I was like, of course I'm gonna open for Joan Rivers. And I, I suspect that we had the same agency at the time. And I suspect she was just like, get me a young gay comedian. I want a gay. And I don't think she knew anything about me, but I, So I say

[Rory Scoville]

that all the time, get me a gay.

[James Adomian]

But I, I, and I've, I've pieced together since then. The opening for Joan Rivers was a very tough gig. And a lot of people had one moment in that spotlight, right? But because her audience is like, was old and mean and. But like I, Joan Rivers was awesome. I met her that night, just that night. And like she did a sound check and the way she checked a microphone was like, is this thing on? Turn this thing off. You know what? I quit the business. You should quit the business. I'm out of here. Be back in minutes. Like, that's how you check a microphone. And, and she was like, she was hilarious and funny. And then the audience poured in and it was like a seven o' clock show.

[Rory Scoville]

Where's the show? Like, what are, what are capacity. What are we talking about?

[James Adomian]

This is a casino in South Florida.

[Rory Scoville]

Okay.

[James Adomian]

And the capacity is 3,000 old people.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah. Great.

[James Adomian]

They pour in on time because like 7pm is like the latest. They want to see a show.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, yeah. Straight after dinner.

[James Adomian]

Yeah, exactly. And they've all, they've all lost a little money on the craps table, you know, and they pour in and like the level of oldness is. The first couple of rows were like breathing apparatuses and other health devices. The next couple of rows after that are no longer with us. They're now deceased. These are very old people. And then, like from the stage, it was like they got old. It was like you couldn't see all the way to the back of the room. It was just like looking into history.

[Jameela Jamil]

Just gravestones at the back.

[James Adomian]

Yeah. And I'm opening and Joan Rivers does the intro of me from backstage in the God mic. And she's like, are you.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's so iconic, right?

[James Adomian]

Yeah, I know.

[Jameela Jamil]

God.

[James Adomian]

She's. But she does she. I. Not that I would have expected, like, oh, yes, please. Here's my credit credits. I was just like, whatever. Yeah, sure. And so she's like, I don't think she asked. And she was like, are you ready for an evening with Joan Rivers? They muster their last breaths. They're like. And then she goes, well, great. Here's the opener. He's the best in his price range, which is a great way to roast a guy that they don't know.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, yeah.

[James Adomian]

And they go, here he is. Here is James Adobe in. And I come out, out. But they took it at faith. They took the remark at face value. They were like, all right, he's a cheap opener, I guess, huh? No. And they were, they were grumbling from the beginning, before I even got to the microphone. I don't know if they liked the way I was dressed or something. And like, I could hear them grumbling like, I came here for Joan Rivers, not this punk.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

And I get to the microphone and I don't get to say anything before. There's so much heckling like, where's Joan? Yeah. Where? I had to address it immediately. So I was like, don't worry, Pops, she's coming out soon. And it just started enough grumbling where they didn't like my reply to that. So some other old guys are like, Yeah, I lost $10,000 today. I'm here for John making his old wife laugh and everything. And I, I, I was addressing enough one off things.

[Rory Scoville]

This is making my palms sweat.

[Jameela Jamil]

Me too. Like, I've been sweating in places I didn't even know exist.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

I was addressing enough one arm off like fires in the audience that I had to do a blanket thing. And I was like, calm down, Popeye. And talking to some old tough guy.

[Rory Scoville]

Nice.

[James Adomian]

And that made all the old Popeye looking guys, all of them stood up like, what do you mean, Popeye? Yeah, they were, they looked like old boxers.

[Jameela Jamil]

I love to go swimming. I kiss all the women. Like that, sort of. Yeah.

[James Adomian]

And then it was just, there was like, you know, there was like, like

[Rory Scoville]

20 people, I'm not gonna lie. That would intimidate the. Out of. Somebody was doing this and said that rhyme, I'd be like, okay, let's all maybe talk about this.

[James Adomian]

They're these old tough guys and they're. They're heckling. They start heckling, but they're all from the 1940s, so they're not. They. We were. We're used to something that's in our language, like, hey, you suck or get off the stage. They're like, hey, kid, you're all washed up. And I hadn't even started doing my act. They're like, hey, kid, you're yesterday's news. Yeah, come out of here. Like Truman did with MacArthur. And then I had to try to put a stop to it. There's like 20 of them heckling me. And so I go, like. I like, all right. Don't let the last moments of your lives be spent booing someone.

[Jameela Jamil]

Is that what you said?

[James Adomian]

That's what I said, which is great. That is a way to go from 20 hecklers to 3,000 hecklers. Yeah. Everyone was on their fate. Get the. Get out of here.

[Rory Scoville]

Wait, how much time are you supposed to do this?

[Jameela Jamil]

Is.

[James Adomian]

This is less than five minutes. Just supposed to be like a 30 minute set or something.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, and Joan is like, well, I'm not ready.

[James Adomian]

I'm not going up. There's a woman there. She was summoned, but there was a woman in the front row who stands up right next to the stage. And she. She goes, I can't stay on microphone. But she goes, you're not funny. Gives me the finger and they move. The people running the show hated me enough this early. They moved the spotlight onto her and she got a standing ovation.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

And this is when this is.

[Rory Scoville]

And think about how long that took for them to stand up.

[James Adomian]

I know, too. And then Joan Rivers was summoned early from her dressing room. I saw her from the corner of my eye. And out of the corner of your eyes, she looks like, you know, someone from the Emerald City of Oz.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

There was just curved curtains around her from the corner. You're like, oh, my God, is this this window?

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, my God, I've died. I died. I'm going to heaven. This is it.

[James Adomian]

She comes back. She didn't come on stage yet. She comes to the microphone, the God mic again. And she's like, stop it, stop it, stop it. Listen to him, you idiots.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, that's nice.

[James Adomian]

And she goes, james, you're gonna start. This happens to the best of us. You're gonna start over. I'm gonna do a better intro. You're gonna leave the stage, and we're gonna come back on and we're gonna start the show from the top. And I. Okay, this sounds like this will work, work.

[Rory Scoville]

But I'm actually kind of, like, happy that she wanted to do this.

[James Adomian]

She did. Oh, yeah, she tried. She tried. I walk off the stage and they're booing and booing and booing.

[Jameela Jamil]

And how do you feel? Like, just heart fallen out of your penis turned on.

[James Adomian]

Yes. I'm in the humiliation king. Especially from old guys. No, luckily I had been doing a lot of mushrooms at that time. So I was. I was like, this is going to be a great story. But it was like, really, really dangerously embarrassing.

[Rory Scoville]

Well, this is the moment to prove both.

[James Adomian]

I walk off stage and she goes. She. Now she has the opposite kind of intro. She was like. The opener tonight is a legendary performer. He tours the entire world, which I had not yet performed outside of America at that point. He's 23 years old, and he's David Letterman's best friend. She says that. That have never been on. Never met him, never been on the show. She said that twice. He's David Letterman's best friend. And I'm thinking, why would David Letterman be best friends with someone this young doing this badly at his chosen profession? But that was the perfect remark because that was the youngest person in comedy that the audience knew and could respect.

[Rory Scoville]

Oh, interesting.

[James Adomian]

So they were all grumbling and sitting down like, all right, all right, David Letterman. Okay, so let him. And kid, it's Letterman. The velveteen underpants and this punk hair. And so. And then Joan Rivers goes, here he is, James, get out there. And I come out and I didn't say this. I forgot this part. There's a band. There was a band on stage. There was a showbiz band, like, from the old days. Like, did that feel good?

[Rory Scoville]

Like, a lot of the negative energy, they were also having to endure it. So you're like, not direct fire kind

[James Adomian]

of, but it's like. It's like having. Then it was like being heckled musically from behind. Because I don't know if you know this, if you've never been played back on stage by a band from the old days.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

After bombing epically, the. The trombone takes on a mocking tone. Yeah, probably not gonna be. So I get out to the microphone. They're listening silently for the first time.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

And I go. I hadn't done any of my material before. So I go, Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you that I'm gay.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God.

[James Adomian]

And it was not.

[Rory Scoville]

Which is a great. That it is. That's a great. After all that and then that.

[James Adomian]

So. But then they knew something about me. So the same old guys, immediately on their feet, they were like, he's a faggot. That's what he is. But then being. Being from the 1940s, they were like, he was a gentleman of a certain distinction. He's a real lamplighter if you know, he's a lamp with a long handshake. And then it being South Florida, there was these old homophobes and also old gays that were there to see Joan Rivers. They were very confused. They were like, the man on stage is making everyone say faggot, because they weren't listening. So every row divided into old homophobes. They were like, shut up. And then old gays, they were like, ew, Shut up. And the only thing they agreed on was that I should be executed as soon as possible.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

And I watched from the stage, I was like, oh, my God, this is the New Deal coalition of Joan Rivers fans. Old and gay. And I'm splitting them in half. And Joan Rivers realized the first. She realized this, that she comes out on stage and she just goes, all right, James, this happens. Happens to the best of us. Just take a check and go home.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, nice. She gets it.

[James Adomian]

I walked off the stage and. And then she didn't. She was supposed to. Like, she had a whole opening number with musical number. She didn't do it. She was just there on stage and everybody's still yelling on their feet. And she goes, stop it. I'm not gonna perform here unless I find out which one of you stood here and gave him the finger. Who was it? And finally a minute. And then this woman was like. Like, it was me. He wasn't funny. And she goes, so what if he wasn't funny? You watch Jay Leno every night, you stupid cunt.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God.

[James Adomian]

How did that.

[Jameela Jamil]

God.

[James Adomian]

Oh, it brought the house down. And I watched her set. She was amazing. She was so funny. And I saw her after the show. She was tired, and she was just like, show biz. They're all assholes.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

And then in my defense, you know, I think I was a very good opening act. The audience was on their feet and full of energy for the headliner. That's all you want, right?

[Rory Scoville]

Love Joan Rivers, top to bottom in all this. At no point would she like, jesus, she had your back the whole time. She tried, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, man, I've never heard a story like that about Joan Rivers. That is like. It's a whole new light. I mean, obviously I thought she was an icon, but I'd never heard like a really solid version of her like that.

[James Adomian]

And I got to see her set. She was so funny.

[Rory Scoville]

I mean, that's crazy. Legendary moment.

[James Adomian]

She was in her 70s or I late 70s or something. And she was like. She had these riotously funny dirty jokes on when I was watching her set. She goes, old men's balls are so long. The audience, how long are they? She goes, when my husband killed himself, he was in the bathroom, and I was still on the bed in the other room with his balls. Do you know what it's like to be calling the front desk going, my husband killer with balls that you can't get out of your mouth?

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God, she's such a legend.

[James Adomian]

It was great. It was great. And then I had to stay at that hotel with the people. I had to stay at that hotel that night. And once in a while, I would be walking, I even gambled at the casino. And I would hear. I would notice a guy across the way going,

[Rory Scoville]

I ought to butter his bread.

[James Adomian]

How do these guys look? Like the fourth of the Three Stooges.

[Jameela Jamil]

You know, we've been doing this podcast for just over a year. I've heard a lot of heckle stories. That is by a mile, the most traumatizing and funny one I've ever had on.

[James Adomian]

Luckily, my recommendation is if you're a young comic, just be doing mushrooms. Not before the event, of course. Coping, it makes you be like, that was terrible.

[Jameela Jamil]

Incredible.

[James Adomian]

Yeah, I'm awesome.

[Jameela Jamil]

Non linear coping one in the universe, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, amazing. Thank you. Incredible.

[Rory Scoville]

I love the had your back as a comic in general. She kind of was like, I don't really know much about this guy, but I've got his back.

[Jameela Jamil]

You again?

[James Adomian]

No, she did not. Sent me a note that I have lost since then. Something moving. But she sent me a nice note.

[Rory Scoville]

So smart. So smart. Way to throw that away.

[James Adomian]

Well, I read Marie Kondo. I held it.

[Rory Scoville]

It had no meaning.

[James Adomian]

It didn't spark joy.

[Rory Scoville]

All it did was remind me of an awful night. Yeah, that's great, Rory.

[Jameela Jamil]

What's your big wrong turn?

[Rory Scoville]

Mine is when I was again 12 years old. I was seventh grade, I believe. Seventh grade, back to school pool party. And I was going to. It was at a friend's house. It was everybody in my at this Catholic School. So our grade was probably 30, 35 kids. And we're on our way there, but I'm with my stepmom. We have to go pick up my sister from gymnastics on the way. And my stepmother gets out of the car to go inside to get my sister. And while I'm in the car, I needed to like, fart. And so I just, I farted. And I, at that point in my life did not know that you could shit yourself by farting. And I said to people, why would you ever know that unless another friend has done that and divulge that to you? But they wouldn't because they would be embarrassed that they did it. No adult is ever gonna warn you of that.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's one of the only things we only learn about when it happens to you.

[James Adomian]

It's sort of the same.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes, yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

And it's around the same time. Right. So you're learning all kinds of new things.

[Rory Scoville]

This is a crazy. It's a crazy year for me. 12 years old and so I fart and shit myself. And I remember being in the car and like being. Feeling two things. One, I can't believe that just happened. And then the other thing being, like, going immediately into like, like Jason Bourne brain of how do we solve this problem? What. What do we do? Here are the elements. Here's what's happening, happening. So I get out of the car and I do my best at like, walking. Like there isn't. Yes. Walking normal. But being like.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm sure a 12 year old is doing an amazing casual walk as well.

[Rory Scoville]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

You know when you think you'll be. You're really playing it cool.

[James Adomian]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

And I get. I thought, oh, you know what? I'm going, I'm going to the bathroom. I'm gonna take care of this. It'll be easy. And I get inside and I don't realize that it's not like a gymnasium that has like, oh, men's and women's bathrooms with, like, plenty of space and stalls. It's a one person at a time. Men and women, all of us, we share this one room. One person at a time. One toilet. When you go in. Tiny, tiny room space. So I go in there and my plan is that I'm gonna just take off my underwear and throw it away. And the garbage can is like the size of this, like, you know those tiny ones.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Rory Scoville]

And so I'm like, oh. I kind of thought if it was a big trash can, it gets in there. No one's. When it was that big. I was like, oh, that someone probably just opens the top and is like, what the. Like, there's too much visual. So I don't throw them away. I think I'm gonna just flush them down the toilet.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh.

[Rory Scoville]

And. But then I. I was like, oh, that could be. That could. That could be bad. And so what I decided to do was clean them off in the sink as best as I could, dry them, Dry them with paper towels, roll them up and put them into my pocket and figure it out. I thought, we'll just figure it out. And so I go back and I get in the car and we drive to the party. And I'm just getting dropped off. It's at a friend's house who I know. My stepmom drops me off at the front of the house. And I know everyone's. You can hear them. Everyone's in the back at the pool. Like, the party has started. And I just go up to the front door. Luckily it's unlocked. Go inside, and again, it's my friend. So I've been in this house. I dart up the stairs. We're at the top of the stairs. There's, like, another bathroom. And all I could think was, just get to that bathroom. Like, then we can reassess.

[James Adomian]

Hey, Rory. Thank you. Not now.

[Rory Scoville]

And I get into that bathroom, pull the underwear out, and I'm like, what the fuck do I do? And I know that outside this door to my right is my friend's bedroom, and to my left is his little brother's bedroom. And so I walk out of the bathroom and I just throw the underwear into his brother's room. It, like, hits a wall that, like, slides down, like, behind something, something. And I'm like, I'm out. I did that. We're. I'm good. I'm good. And I just go to the party. There I am at the party, and now this is what. What I'm doing. And I've sort of. My brain protected me from this story. I forgot that this ever happened until I heard someone else telling a story about them doing, you know, farting and sharting, essentially. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I have this whole story. And I totally, like, deleted it from my brain because it was so traumatizing. But only then did I remember that my stepmom used to write my name.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my.

[Rory Scoville]

In. In some of my underwear.

[Jameela Jamil]

And how old was the little brother?

[Rory Scoville]

I don't know how much younger. Maybe four.

[James Adomian]

Old enough to read some initials on the label of underwear.

[Rory Scoville]

And I didn't know if my name was written in the underwear. Literally. Rory Scoville. My last name too.

[James Adomian]

Wait, not rs no.

[Rory Scoville]

Rory Scoville with a phone number. Yeah.

[James Adomian]

In case lost, return reward.

[Rory Scoville]

Even if covered in shit it and drama, bring it back. I had no idea if. Cuz she didn't write my name in all of my underwear. I remember that. And I have this job, I do this. And I've told this story before, and that guy who now we've somewhat reconnected, he's come to my shows, he messaged me not that long ago. And he goes, I just want you to know your name was in that underwear.

[James Adomian]

Oh my God. Oh my God.

[Rory Scoville]

He was like, my family laughs about it all the time. And like my stupid reign. I was like, well, at least that made them happy. But I wish I knew what it was like the day those were discovered. And they're like, what the fuck?

[James Adomian]

Well.

[Jameela Jamil]

Cause it makes you look like a fucking pervert. Especially you choosing to put it in his little brother's room. It's like, why is there a wet older boy's underpants in my child's bedroom?

[Rory Scoville]

I don't know why I thought that made more sense than throwing it into the bedroom of. Of the kid I knew and hung out with and had like spent the night as well.

[James Adomian]

Why not find a laundry hamper? James didn't know what those were.

[Rory Scoville]

Truly.

[Jameela Jamil]

He didn't even know that Santa wasn't real. You're expecting a lot of glory here.

[Rory Scoville]

I'm sorry, I thought, I'll throw this in the room and I'll get on Santa's lap and I'll go, this Christmas, I want to erase some objects from our planet.

[James Adomian]

This reminds me of my favorite philosophical treatise from the Enlightenment period with David Hume. Wrote. Wrote on sharting. And then it was. It was. It was an argument between Hume and Voltaire.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

Where they were arguing about when one has soiled one's underpants, what must be done through the backside. Yes. Sharding, but with that s from the 1700s. That looks like an F on for sharing.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're so ridiculous. You're such a ridiculous.

[James Adomian]

I disagree with your decision. Voltaire replied, I disagree with your decision to your pants, but I defend to the death your right to do it.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's so stupid.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did you.

[Rory Scoville]

That's great.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did you ever shout yourself?

[James Adomian]

I have, many times. In fact, right now I'm kind of

[Jameela Jamil]

on the cusp during that story.

[James Adomian]

Yeah, you felt like, oh, he smells it and he's being nice.

[Rory Scoville]

This is a safe space. He's Telling a story. I'm allowed to do this.

[James Adomian]

I will tell the short version. One time I was in. It wasn't a shard. It was just a fart. But I was in New York leaving an audition or something in Manhattan, and, you know, take the elevator down. And I got. I know not to do this, but I thought, what? Who cares? I'm leaving the building.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

I get in an elevator to go down and leave the building and just let out a big, big fart with myself. And it's like a bad one. And then. Then it was like a ding, and it's stopping on another floor, and it's bad. Yeah. And I'm coming. I'm coming down from, like, you know, the 20th floor floor.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

And it stops at, like, the 10th floor. And I'm like, okay. People are gonna get. And you. I realize they're all gonna smell this, and I'm the only one in here.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[James Adomian]

You can't be like, someone else got out.

[Rory Scoville]

And, I mean, you can. You can try that.

[James Adomian]

And I'm like, well, maybe person gets in the elevator. I'll just be awkward for a few floors and never see them again. The doors open, and it's a whole group of people about to go to lunch.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[James Adomian]

It's a Hulk who know each other. And I'm like. I'm thinking quickly. I'm just like, bolt, Bolt. And I go out, and I find the stairs to go down, away from him.

[Rory Scoville]

That's a good move.

[James Adomian]

And as the doors were closing, I heard all of them be like, oh. They knew exactly why I had left.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh.

[James Adomian]

They were like, oh. So I had to, like, stay in the stairwell for, like, 20 minutes. I was like, I don't want them waiting outside and seeing me.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, my God. Oh, it's so horrifically embarrassing. You two have honestly made my whole week. I haven't laughed this much in so long. And I will never, ever forget these stupid fucking stories. Before you go, our wonderful audience like to send in their own stories of disgrace. And it's called Misery Loves Company. This one's from Armando. Armando says, in my college dorm, I learned something about myself in the worst way. I usually don't remember dreams, but I sort of remember having the hottest sex of my life. It was very rudely interrupted by someone yelling my name. Next thing I realize, I am in my hallway. But far worse, I was hard poking out of my boxer briefs. A guy I barely knew came home late and discovered me sleepwalk jerking. I remember him telling me I Have to take that shit somewhere else. And to my knowledge, I never walked in my sleep, let alone beat on it like it owed me money.

[Rory Scoville]

Amanda, I've never heard of anything even similar to that. That's never occurred to me that that might happen when you sleepwalk.

[James Adomian]

Right.

[Rory Scoville]

That just unlocked a new fear for me.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sleep wanking is crazy. And Mike Birbiglia thinks he has problems.

[Rory Scoville]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Oh my God.

[Rory Scoville]

You'd rather jump out of a window 100%. You'd rather jump out of a window

[Jameela Jamil]

any day break my back than that.

[Rory Scoville]

That is crazy. Oh my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

Armando, thank you for sending that in. I hope that really got something off your. Should you come

[Rory Scoville]

and second letter.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. If you could write in to completion wrongturnspodmail.com we would love to know if you came. Thank you so much. You two are a fucking delight. Before you go, will you tell everyone where they can find you and if you want them to watch or listen to anything?

[James Adomian]

Sure.

[Rory Scoville]

Rory scoville.com for all. Pretty much all things. But yeah, you know, social media. Rory Scoville. Rory Scoville at everything. And yeah, that's basically it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Fab.

[James Adomian]

I'm online. Oh, I'm on the Internet. It's usually a Domian or Jadomian Bsky social. Or on YouTube it's James Adomian. Xoxo. I have a special the path of Most Resistance that came out you and a half ago. That's not quite dated yet, but it's about to be. So watch it soon.

[Rory Scoville]

Get on it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, you don't have long. Everyone run. Thank you both. You're a fucking delight. This is just one of my favorite episodes ever.

[Rory Scoville]

Thank you. That was so fun.

[Jameela Jamil]

Bye. Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo of your own wrong turns. All you have to do is email personal disaster storiesmail.com youm can find full length videos of our episodes on YouTube. And don't forget to subscribe, like review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends about us. And if you are also enjoying me as a person, I have a substack. It's called a low desire to please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna fuck off now. Bye. You know what they say. Early bird gets the ultimate vacation home. Book early and save over $120 with Robo because early gets you closer to the action, whether it's waves lapping at the shore or snoozing in a hammock that overlooks, well, whatever you want it to so you can all enjoy the payoff come summer with VRBO's early booking deals. Rise and shine. Average savings $141 select homes only Instacart

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