Rosebud Baker and Judy Gold

Summary

Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil

Episode: Rosebud Baker and Judy Gold
Date: June 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Wrong Turns brings together Jameela Jamil, Rosebud Baker, and Judy Gold to revel in stories of personal disaster and humiliation—with zero silver linings and plenty of laughs. In the spirit of the show, the guests share their most mortifying life moments, exploring themes of childhood embarrassment, career faux pas, body awkwardness, and the bizarre ways life goes off the rails. The hosts foster camaraderie in vulnerability, making humiliation feel communal, cathartic, and, above all, hilarious.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Icebreakers & Introductions (01:10 – 03:59)

• The show kicks off with classic Wrong Turns crudeness—a story about a friend’s eye mishap during an illicit affair, setting the tone for unapologetic honesty.

• Jameela introduces Rosebud Baker (Emmy-winning writer, new book: “Fully Baked: A Messy Memoir”) and Judy Gold (Emmy-winning comic/actor, book: “Yes, I Can Say That”) with raucous energy.

  • “Everyone's middle name on this show is Fucking.” – Judy Gold (02:04)
  • “That pendulum's been swinging back and forth like my tits.” – Jameela Jamil (02:51)

• The guests riff on the curse of busyness, aging bodies, and the desire to live as carefree dogs.

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2. Micro Humiliations & Growing Up Tall (07:01 – 14:59)

• Judy’s High School Story:
  Judy recounts being an over-six-foot clarinet player, ridiculed as “Bigfoot,” “Sasquatch,” and “Orca.” At a key audition to be drum major, a classmate yells “Bigfoot!”

  • “I was the fourth generation of my family to go to [Tall Gal Shoes]. I had nothing. Nothing.” – Judy Gold (08:10)
  • “As it’s coming down, the drummer in the back screams, ‘Bigfoot.’” – Judy Gold (10:39)
  • “All I wanted to be was the drum major.” (09:02)

• Discussion expands:

  • The loneliness and “adultification” experienced by tall girls.
    • “By the time I was 11, I was 5'10 with a beard... I looked exactly like Osama bin Laden before I hit my teens.” – Jameela Jamil (12:07)
  • Being the target of ridicule, never “cute,” and forced into early maturity.
  • The gendered double standard: Judy’s son is celebrated for his exceptional height; her experience was the opposite.

• Comedic coping: Judy relates how constant humiliation led her to comedy, for control over the laughter.

  • “I got to this point where—no, I'm gonna decide what you're laughing at.” – Judy Gold (07:17)
  • Silence between punchlines can still trigger old anxieties about being mocked.

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3. Rosebud’s Micro Humiliation & Early Resilience (16:24 – 22:44)

• The Roller Skating Disaster:
  As a “loudmouth” kid in a WASPy, secrets-keeping household, Rosebud tried to impress her sister by barreling down a steep hill on roller skates, resulting in a spectacular crash that broke both arms.

  • “My whole body is in the air... I remember it because it lasted forever.” – Rosebud Baker (18:01)
  • She started eighth grade in double arm casts, became the butt of relentless “hand job” jokes, and endured “famous with embarrassment” attention.

• Jameela and Rosebud bond over being the accident-prone kids, limping through school as walking calamities.

  • “You feel famous with embarrassment, do you know what I mean?” – Jameela Jamil (20:42)

• Rosebud confesses her arms healed “like somebody marginally talented drew me,” due to DIY cast drying after jumping in a pool—hiding the accident from her parents.

  • “My arms have literally healed in a way that looks like somebody marginally talented drew me.” – Rosebud Baker (22:22)

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4. Big Wrong Turns: Theatre Nightmares & Family Fiascos

Judy’s Shakespeare in the Park Catastrophe (25:19 – 34:41)

• In 2014, Judy lands a prestigious role in Shakespeare in the Park, only to have a chilly relationship with a mysterious cast member.
• The disaster culminates after closing night:
  • While riding a golf cart with a castmate and two women (one believed to be the castmate’s mother), Judy discusses private matters, warning her friend to conceal the castmate’s same-sex relationship from her “mother.”
  • Upon disembarking, she’s introduced: “Oh, this is my mother.”
  • Gut-wrenching humiliation and fallout follow.
    • “When I say stomachache, when I say fucking guts...” – Judy Gold (31:49)
    • “That is your heart falling out of your pussy.” – Jameela Jamil (31:54)
  • The castmate excoriates her at the party; Judy is ostracized despite good intentions.
    • “Road to hell is paved with good intentions.” – Jameela Jamil (34:23)
  • This remains one of Judy’s most deeply humiliating wrong turns.

Rosebud’s Golf Cart Family Debacle (37:09 – 47:43)

• Thanksgiving at a country club with her (newly) sober sister.

  • They sneak away from drunken relatives for a golf cart adventure; things devolve when one cart crashes into a creek.

  • Sister panics—she’d flipped a cart that summer, injuring a girl.

  • Attempting to extract the cart using a BMW, Rosebud orchestrates a cascading disaster: the BMW and then a second golf cart end up crunched in the creek.

    • “She freaks out... slams it and goes backwards. So now the BMW is in the creek. It's smashed into the golf cart, and the golf cart has smashed into the other golf cart...” – Rosebud Baker (42:53)

  • The siblings fess up. Rosebud takes full blame to protect her sister’s sobriety.

    • “As far as they know, I dragged you along in an abusive... I dragged you along.” – Rosebud Baker (44:09)

  • Their father is more concerned than angry; a kindly tow-truck guy sets things right.

  • Rosebud foots the enormous bill, and the story becomes family legend.

  • Memorable moments:

    • “Are you drinking again?” – Rosebud’s dad (44:06)

• Jameela’s Golf Cart Story:
  Also shares her harrowing experience unintentionally taking a golf cart onto an LA freeway while filming The Good Place.

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5. “Misery Loves Company” – Listener Disaster: Angela’s Job Interview (48:00 – 50:26)

• A listener sends in a story of getting stoned on her roommate’s advice before a job interview, resulting in uncontrollable laughter and a spectacular flop.
  • “I laughed hysterically. Spoiler alert—I did not get that job.” – Angela (49:15)
• Jameela relates: performing big press interviews and even selling a show after accidentally ingesting edibles.
  • “I was stoned out of my fucking mind, like off my tits... just doing all the talking with, like, Cheetos falling out of my mouth.” – Jameela Jamil (50:12)

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6. Final Plugs & Farewell (50:40 – 51:45)

• Rosebud Baker: Book: “Fully Baked: A Messy Memoir” (June 9), upcoming Paper Bag Princess Tour; Instagram/TikTok @rosebudbaker; rosebudbaker.com

• Judy Gold: Hulu’s “Not Suitable for Work”, HBO’s “Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness”, Provincetown summer residency, book: “Yes, I Can Say That”; @jewdygold on Instagram.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "All I wanted to be was the drum major. I'm first chair clarinet... the drummer in the back screams, 'Bigfoot.'" – Judy Gold (10:39)
• "By the time I was 11, I was 5'10 with a beard... I looked exactly like Osama bin Laden before I hit my teens." – Jameela Jamil (12:07)
• “You feel famous with embarrassment.” – Jameela Jamil (20:42)
• "When I say stomachache, when I say fucking guts..." – Judy Gold (31:49)
• "That is your heart falling out of your pussy..." – Jameela Jamil (31:54)
• “So now the BMW is in the creek. It's smashed into the golf cart, and the golf cart has smashed into the other golf cart.” – Rosebud Baker (42:54)
• "Are you drinking again?" – Rosebud’s dad (44:06)
• "Spoiler alert: I did not get that job." – Angela, Listener Story (49:15)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:10 – Wild eye-gluing story & introductions
• 07:01 – Judy Gold’s humiliation as a tall teen
• 16:24 – Rosebud Baker’s double broken arms catastrophe
• 25:19 – Judy Gold’s Shakespeare in the Park “outing” disaster
• 37:09 – Rosebud Baker’s infamous golf cart and BMW wreck
• 48:00 – “Misery Loves Company”: Angela’s disastrous interview
• 50:40 – Final guest plugs & goodbyes

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Tone & Atmosphere

This episode is a wild, freewheeling confessional—brilliantly irreverent, deeply honest, and welcomingly crass. The guests are as open about their personal disasters as they are quick with a punchline. The atmosphere is jovial and cathartic, making the audience feel seen in their own mortifications. Jameela’s easy warmth, Judy’s biting wit, and Rosebud’s deadpan stories make a compelling case that, in the mess of life’s humiliations, laughter really is the best companion.

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For more disastrous tales or to submit your own, check out Wrong Turns wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

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[Jamila Jamil]

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[Jamila Jamil]

My friend just cheated on her boyfriend and the guy she cheated on with jizzed in her eye and it glued shut for like a week.

[Rosebud Baker]

Shut up dude.

[Judy Gold]

What?

[Jamila Jamil]

That happened to me last night and

[Judy Gold]

then she, she told him to play.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, jizzed in her eye I think. Ms.

[Judy Gold]

Eye clothes.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, I think he was going for like the middle of the face.

[Rosebud Baker]

Sure he was.

[Jamila Jamil]

Anyway, hello and welcome to Wrong Turns with Jamila Chappelle. This is always my favorite way to start the podcast is in the middle of a jizz in the eyes situation. This is a podcast that is about life's disasters where we celebrate humiliation and I get to bring on my favorite hilarious people in the world to tell me their tales of woe. Joining me today I have an actress, comedian and Emmy winning writer from Saturday Night Live and Inside Amy. Her latest comedy special is the Mother Lode and her new book is fully a messy memoir. It's Rosebud fucking Baker.

[Judy Gold]

Yay Rosebud Fucking.

[Rosebud Baker]

Thank you Rosebud Fucking your middle name.

[Judy Gold]

Everyone's middle name on this show is Fucking.

[Jamila Jamil]

Truly, as you know.

[Judy Gold]

And I love that.

[Jamila Jamil]

We also have an actress, producer, comedian and Emmy winning writer from shows like Broad City, Better Things, Girls five Ever. And this summer you can see her on Mindy Kaling's new Hulu show Not Suitable for Work. And on Larry Davis new HBO show, Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness. It's Judy fucking Gold.

[Judy Gold]

Judy fucking Gold also has a fucking book.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Jamila Jamil]

What's her fucking book?

[Judy Gold]

It's called Fucking Yes, I fucking can say fucking that it's called Yes I can say that it's about free speech.

[Jamila Jamil]

Amazing.

[Judy Gold]

The subtitle is when they Come for the Comedians, we're all in trouble. And it came out in 2020 during the pandemic. Cause that's my fucking career. And then they just did a reprint after the Colbert and Kimmel shit. So it's all about free speech from the perspective of a comedian.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yes. And boy, has that pendulum been swinging back and forth like my tits.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

That's fantastic. Everyone go and buy both of these books by both of these brilliant humans. How you been?

[Rosebud Baker]

What's going on?

[Jamila Jamil]

I've been good.

[Rosebud Baker]

I've been busy. Busy as hell. Obviously. Porono busy is good. Yeah, yeah. I mean, well, we say that, you know, we say busy's good.

[Jamila Jamil]

Depends on what you're busy with.

[Judy Gold]

Here's the problem. It's when you're not busy that you realize busy is good. You know what I mean?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

But also when you're busy, you realize it's great to not be busy and you just use it a bit better.

[Judy Gold]

Appreciate either to the fullest extent.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, but that's the human condition.

[Jamila Jamil]

Because humans suck. We should be dogs, right?

[Judy Gold]

Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh my God.

[Jamila Jamil]

Dogs really know how to fucking live.

[Rosebud Baker]

I hope to come back as one

[Judy Gold]

and dogs all have adhd, so I could live as a dog.

[Jamila Jamil]

Can they?

[Judy Gold]

Yeah, duh. I know. Let they come here, then they're done with you, then they go there and then they're playing with this 100%.

[Jamila Jamil]

Mine also for sure has a bit of autism. For sure. Ye hyper focus like nothing you have ever seen. Even the vet thinks so. That's like sick. What about you? How are you feeling?

[Judy Gold]

I'm feeling good. You know, I've been in this business for over four decades, so work wise, I'm feeling good. Body wise. I still think I'm 28 years old.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yes.

[Judy Gold]

And I played three hours of tennis and my back fucking hurts. And it's like, you know, you can't do the shit that you used to

[Rosebud Baker]

do in your 20s when you're like, Tennis is crazy. In your 20s, he's like, I don't know.

[Jamila Jamil]

Like I climbed Everest and I have a sore ankle. I'm getting old.

[Judy Gold]

I'm a workout person. Like I. I don't know, never twenties.

[Rosebud Baker]

Did I ever play tennis for three hours or maybe.

[Judy Gold]

Are you a good tennis player?

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm not good at no.

[Jamila Jamil]

Do you want to know that last year I decided to work out for the first time in six years and I did one pull up and got a hernia in food Tube.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, my God.

[Jamila Jamil]

Which I didn't know was possible in my esophagus. It's called a hiatal hernia. One pull up one. And then I couldn't exercise for another 14 months. I tried my first workout the other day. I just did 60 very gentle sumo squats. Couldn't move for five days. Yeah, you are doing fucking fine.

[Judy Gold]

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

[Jamila Jamil]

How has it been working with Larry?

[Judy Gold]

Well, I shot that last year. I think last year or earlier in the year, you know, I mean, it's Larry David. I remember when I was a young comic. I started when I was 19 and I passed A Catch, A Rising Star, which is where every brilliant comic worked. And the show would start at like 8 and go till like 2 or 3 in the morning. And it was really like college. I was in college. But, you know, it was like a graduate school. I would see Larry, they introduced him, they said, you know, Larry David, he walks on stage and he gets to the mic and he looks around the room back and forth and then he says, nah and walks off stage.

[Rosebud Baker]

Amazing.

[Judy Gold]

And I was just like, I fucking love you. And then I remember one time he went on stage, he looked and he said, if I start speaking Spanish during my set, may I use the familiar to form with you? And I was just like. He just cracked me the fuck up,

[Jamila Jamil]

you know, I married him.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Not as in I didn't marry him.

[Rosebud Baker]

You married. I didn't.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah, to his courage.

[Jamila Jamil]

I officiated his wedding.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Judy Gold]

Isn't he a great guy?

[Jamila Jamil]

The best. The fucking best. Like the nicest.

[Judy Gold]

And he's not even a guy. He's like a personality, you know?

[Jamila Jamil]

Like.

[Judy Gold]

No, a dm. What's the book they use, the psychiatrist and everything? He's like a. Oh, like a type A. Yeah, yeah. There's type A, type B and Larry David.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Judy Gold]

That's the way it is.

[Jamila Jamil]

They gave me driving lessons for like two months and it was the scariest experience of my life. So outside of these.

[Judy Gold]

Such a great guy.

[Jamila Jamil]

Absolutely amazing.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Jamila Jamil]

So this is a show where we celebrate, you know, misfortune and humiliation. We like to always start by warming people up with some micro humiliations. And so I wonder, Judy, will you start us off with one?

[Judy Gold]

Yes, I will. And I just want to say I think part of my being a stand up is having been humiliated throughout my entire childhood and wanting to control the laughter, you know, being laughed at. And I got to this point where. No, I'm gonna decide what you're laughing at. And I think that's a huge part of why I'm a comedian. So I also.

[Jamila Jamil]

What height.

[Judy Gold]

What age are you at? 13.

[Jamila Jamil]

Right, right. I was five' ten at like about 12, so.

[Judy Gold]

But this is the 70s.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes.

[Judy Gold]

And I'm. So there's tall people now? No, there were no. I was taller than my teachers, the friends.

[Rosebud Baker]

There was no tall people in the 70s.

[Judy Gold]

No, it's just that.

[Jamila Jamil]

No, there really weren't like, tall women. And you know how. You know this is when all your short female friends want to go vintage shopping with you?

[Judy Gold]

You're like, where's my clothes? And I had to go to shop

[Jamila Jamil]

at Long Tall Sally's.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah. And they didn't have Long Tall Sally, but they did have a shoe store called Shoe Craft. Tall Gal Shoes. And I had to come to New York to buy my shoes. I was the fourth generation of my family to go to that shoe. I had nothing. Nothing. And my mother had to make my Shoe gal.

[Jamila Jamil]

Is that what it was called?

[Judy Gold]

It was called Tall Gal Shoes.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, that was it.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

My daughter is gonna be like, really tall.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah. My daughter, she's fine.

[Jamila Jamil]

We paved the way.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

But I'm wondering if that leads to, like a life in entertainment. Cause that's where.

[Judy Gold]

Or sports. You know, My son love sports. Professional basketball player. Anyway, so I was. I did try out for the basketball team in seventh grade and the coach told me I was too tall for the team. It wouldn't be fair. That's insane. I swear to God. Wayne Carrick.

[Rosebud Baker]

So insane.

[Judy Gold]

Wayne Carrick. Anyway, so I was a band nerd. I was really into music and I played clarinet in the marching band in high school, which is the most attractive instrument A over six foot tall person could play 100. Yes.

[Jamila Jamil]

And also, I imagine you had amazing posture.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, yeah. I wanted that. I was so proud of my height.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

So in high school, all through my Entire K through 12, I got called Bigfoot and Sasquatch and Big Bird and Orca. Like, I could not walk down the hallway. But we didn't have headphones, so my mother would be like, judith, ignore them. They're jealous. I'm like, shut the fuck up. But it was. I couldn't walk into a classroom late. I couldn't do anything. It was just constant barrage. And all I wanted to be was the drum major. And I was tall enough. I'm the perfect candidate. I'm like, at this point, I'm 62 or 6 3. I'm a senior in high school and I Wanna be drum major? I'm first chair clarinet. And so the audition was you go in front of the marching band and you have to conduct the Star Spangled Banner. And the principal's there, the music director's there, the superintendent is there, and they're all sitting in the back. And you go to the podium. I think I conducted maybe second or third. And the people who are auditioning go and conduct. So in music, I don't know if you're musicians, but there's the upbeat, and that means bring your instrument to your. Either this or to your mouth, whatever. And then downbeat is when everyone starts playing. So it's my turn. And I go to the podium and I go upbeat and I go. And as it's coming down, the drummer in the back screams, bigfoot.

[Rosebud Baker]

No.

[Judy Gold]

And I had to then conduct the Sara Spangle Banner in front of the entire band, thank God. And I didn't get it. Rosemary Dombrowski got it. And I didn't get it. Fuck. Rosemary Dabrowski. And I think. I'm pretty sure I remember these names. I think Bobby Kamenecki was the one who screamed that.

[Jamila Jamil]

I've heard he's a cunt.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah, I've heard Terribles was a Bobby.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Drummer, allegedly worldwide.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So humiliating.

[Jamila Jamil]

Bad in bed as well. I heard. Allegedly.

[Rosebud Baker]

What I heard. So, yeah.

[Judy Gold]

Isn't that crazy?

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, my God. And so it threw you off, obviously, so you weren't able to do your best.

[Rosebud Baker]

I mean, be honest.

[Judy Gold]

But I had to do it.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

But, yeah, I was like, oh, my God, like, why? Like, there's so many times I'm like, why? Like, seriously, why? Like, can you just give me a fucking break for one fucking second? You know? And that feeling has repeated itself so many fucking times.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's why it's so impressive to you when Larry David goes on stage and just goes, nah.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah, the power.

[Jamila Jamil]

I got called Free Willy on the diving team because I was in a bigger body.

[Judy Gold]

So I. I understand, you know, women and their bodies. Like, you don't know. So you can. You can't get involved in this conversation.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm just a woman. I have a body.

[Jamila Jamil]

I know women.

[Judy Gold]

And with big body, like, tall.

[Jamila Jamil]

Like, also, I was like, it doesn't

[Rosebud Baker]

matter what you're like.

[Jamila Jamil]

But also, by the time I was 11, I was 5, 10 with a beard. You know what I mean?

[Judy Gold]

Like.

[Jamila Jamil]

Like I was. That. I looked exactly like Osama bin Laden before I hit my teens. Like, it was crazy.

[Judy Gold]

They treat you like you're older, You Know, like that you're not as sensitive. Like, really a woman, a tall woman is not treated like. You're never cute. You're never like, you know, timid or

[Jamila Jamil]

adultified immediately, by the way. And like parents if, like everyone was misbehaving at the local heath, which is like the big. You get in trouble, people think you're the teacher, by the way, people come up to you.

[Judy Gold]

You know, I gotta tell you, my son's six' eight, my younger son, and he's a pro basketball player in Israel. But him growing up as a really like beyond tall kid and athletic, it was like, oh, my God, you're the greatest. It's like the polar opposite of my experience.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm learning so much as like the mother of a tall kid of a tall girl right now.

[Judy Gold]

I'll talk to her.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's. I mean, she's powerful. She's very powerful. But I definitely, I'm like, I'm going to lean in on the cute. I'm going to. I'm going to lean in and be

[Judy Gold]

like, yeah, just say you're beautiful. I'm beautiful.

[Jamila Jamil]

I'm sorry that happened. Fuck that guy. Fuck the woman who got it, the girl who got it. And I'm really happy for you that you have, like, found your way through. No, we don't hate her. We just hate him.

[Rosebud Baker]

That's crazy.

[Judy Gold]

But that was like constant. It was like always.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

You know, and that's why in comedy, you know, the silence in between.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

You know, you have a punchline, you have a setup, and then you have certain. It's timing is everything. There are certain jokes where I'm like, please don't say anything. Please don't call out. Please don't. You know?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that moment where you're like, you're working on something. Like, you're like. And you need to.

[Judy Gold]

You're just getting the exact timing of the pause to land the pause, 100%. And I get a little like, please,

[Rosebud Baker]

no, no, I've been there. I've been there. Like, oh, come on.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah. Such a nightmare.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm totally in there.

[Judy Gold]

And you know, wait, can I just

[Rosebud Baker]

get so mad when they do, when they, like pipe up, you just get so.

[Judy Gold]

And you just want to punch their fucking face. The rage from that. Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yes. Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

But one last thing before we get to rosebud, this whole feeling that we're talking about, like, this humiliation. Do you know when I feel it the most? And it's from this. A lot of this Is the high school thing on the red carpet, when you show up on the red carpet and they're all. And I'm like, you don't have to like. I'm literally like, you don't know who I am. Right? And they're like, yeah, we know who you are, but I am. It's just to me, that step and repeat of, you know, look over here, look over. And then the next one's coming and it's like they're more famous than you or they're, you know, that's when I feel that feeling of the humiliation the most in my job right now.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah, I feel like. I get that. I get. Red carpets are a little. I just go sort of inward.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

I just feel like. Because I came from like a background where it's like, you're allowed to be good at something, but you're not supposed to be proud of it. Are you British? No, but it's very classic but very WASP y. And so they didn't, they didn't like that. It was very. Like anything that you're good at, you're just supposed to be good at it. Like the word supposed to spread without any sort of effort on your.

[Judy Gold]

Right, right, right.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, you know, exactly. So like self promoting or anything like that I get really yucky about and I'm trying to, like, get better at it. Right. But so I being a comic and I think just this comic is more of a personality defect than a. Than. Oh, please. You know what I mean?

[Judy Gold]

100%.

[Rosebud Baker]

In the. The way that I grew up, it was like everybody was, follow the rules, you know, shut your mouth, keep your family secrets, like, until they crystallize into some sort of fatal disease.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, so you're Pakistani as well?

[Rosebud Baker]

And I just said, you know, there was like part of me that was like, fuck this. I didn't want. I was not interested in that. So I've always just been like a loudmouth. And I really took joy in like, watch me do this thing I'm not supposed to do.

[Judy Gold]

Okay, I love that.

[Rosebud Baker]

So my sister and I, we got these like roller skates at one point, and I was like, I wanted to be like a roller girl, you know, I wanted to be like roller girl from Boogie Nights. This was before I'd ever had sex, by the way. But I still, I was like, I want to be roller girl because she's cool and sexy. So one day my sister and I were like, I'm like, let's roller skate to 7:11. There's this massive Hill that we are supposed to go down. My sister is very much, like, by the book, like, follow the rules. She's a nurse, she's a caretaker. She bought a house. She had a kid. She did all the things in the order that you're supposed to do them and that whatever. So I'm like, let's go. We're going to go to 7 11. She's like, I got to do homework. I'm like, we're going. I'm like, put on the roller skates. We're going to 7 11. I'm not going to 711 by myself on roller skates. Like, let's go. So we. We hit this hill where the road literally just, like, drops. Like, roller coaster level drop.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

And my sister's going down this hill with, like, her brake on the whole time. And I was like, stop, stop, stop, stop. You're not doing it right. I was like, the way you're supposed to go down a hill with no brakes on. And I was like, you. I was like, come back up to the top. So she comes up to the top and I was like, watch me work, right? And I. I go down the hill. I don't know what happened. My skate hit like a rock. I don't know. I still to this day have no idea what happened. Next thing I know, I'm fully in the air. My whole body is in the air.

[Judy Gold]

Do you remember that?

[Rosebud Baker]

I remember it. I remember it because it lasted forever, right? I was in the air for so long that, like, my body flipped and I hit the pavement. And the pain was so insane that I. Like, there was that pause of silence that when you hit.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know what I mean? Like, after my kid hits a wall, you know, like, with her head.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, shit.

[Rosebud Baker]

And it's like, oh, that's silence.

[Jamila Jamil]

Where you're like, is this heaven? Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Whatever's about to happen is gonna be bad. Whatever sound is about to come out of this person is about to be so bad. I hear my sister laughing, okay. In the silence. And then I let out a scream that was so crazy that not only did she hear it, but, like, neighbors from, like, afar. Afar heard it and came. I broke both of my arms at the same time. Both my arms were broken. And I entered eighth grade with two broken arms where everybody was like, oh, rosebud. When rosebud gives a hand job.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, that's a lot.

[Rosebud Baker]

Starts a fire.

[Judy Gold]

Like, ah, that's so cool.

[Rosebud Baker]

For the first. For the first, like, three months of

[Jamila Jamil]

eighth grade, you're Basically like what I'm imagining is the dog from Something about Mary.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Dressed in like two arm cuffs. Yes. That's insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like, if you haven't, you can't scratch it.

[Jamila Jamil]

Like you can't pee on your own.

[Judy Gold]

It was so bad.

[Rosebud Baker]

My sister had to wash my hair.

[Judy Gold]

And that's how you had a write. Then you had to write. Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

And it felt like I was like, this can't ever happen again. Because everybody in. In middle school, like, knows someone that is always in a cast. Do you know what I mean? Like, we all know one kid that was like constantly in a cast in middle school, right?

[Jamila Jamil]

No, no, no, I was that kid. I was on crutches for four of the like seven years of secondary school. It was insane. Everyone hear me coming, like Long John Silver.

[Rosebud Baker]

It would just be like, right.

[Jamila Jamil]

Like, it was so. It was so mortifying. And we, we didn't have like, you know, we have nothing but listed buildings in England, so there's no elevators. So I was at a Victorian school that Queen Elizabeth and had gone to and I think Queen Victoria. So I was just having to. I was 15 minutes late for every class, having to get up on my crutches. So everyone would just hear, no.

[Judy Gold]

Oh my God, that's hilarious.

[Jamila Jamil]

Years Tripped.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like a haunted house.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, I've talked about it on here before. Like tripped over a sleep. It was an all girls school, so absolutely fucking brutal. But tripped over a slim fast can while having an eating disorder. Broke my leg. Insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

Well, your bones are brittle.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, exactly. And hit by a car into another car. All this shit, like constant chaos. So I feel you and it feels. You feel famous with embarrassment. Do you know what I mean?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yes. Well, yeah.

[Judy Gold]

Cause you get all this attention.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Right? Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

There were plenty of people who had cast that just wanted the cast so that people could.

[Jamila Jamil]

Boys. Yes, that was boys. So that people would sign to the girls.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. When I was saying that I was talking about boys, it's so funny that you were like, that was me. Because I'm like, that was definitely always a boy in my school.

[Judy Gold]

Wait, do you have residual shit in your arms?

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh my God, yeah. Because I have such bad ADHD that like, truly. There was one day in eighth grade, my friends all went to like another friend's house and we were hanging out by the pool and they were all jumping in and the music's playing and I was like, okay, this is like a good start. Cause even though I have two broken arms, like, I'm still invited out. People still want to hang out with me? Whatever. This is good for me socially. So they're all jumping in the pool. I'm having a great time. I forget my arms are broken. I jump into the pool, I hit the water and I'm like, oh, no. Right? And I get out of the pool screaming, how waterlogged.

[Jamila Jamil]

Stop me.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know? And I get on the bike and I like, I literally bike home like this. Like, I'm like, dini din.

[Jamila Jamil]

Dinner with one arm.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I get home and I'm like, I can't tell my parents that I jumped in the pool. Cause then we'd have to get like my cat.

[Jamila Jamil]

Right? You have to say you're a victim and say you were pushed.

[Rosebud Baker]

No, I didn't say anything. I didn't tell them anything. I took a hairdryer. I tried to, like, I was like. Tried to fix it myself. My arms have literally healed in a way that looks like somebody marginally talented drew me. Like, it's. They are like, Oh, I see what you mean.

[Jamila Jamil]

Like, it's sort of.

[Rosebud Baker]

They're like off. Wow.

[Jamila Jamil]

Okay.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, I can see both of them.

[Judy Gold]

Where the. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Is that because you reset your cast basically to.

[Rosebud Baker]

Well, because I was like, I can't tell my parents that I forgot. Forgot where it was. My arm broken.

[Jamila Jamil]

That is hilarious. I. I've recovered from when I got hit from the car into the other car. But I only ever bring it up if someone wants me to go on top in bed.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And then I'm like, oh, I can't. You know what? I have a. Yeah, I recovered in like 18 months fully. Like, I never had residual problems. But ask me to do reverse cowgirl

[Rosebud Baker]

and like, it's not possible.

[Jamila Jamil]

The dog was hit by one car into another Happy ML. Tragic.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah, a fucking nightmare here for the lesbians.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah. We'll be right back after a break.

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[Jamila Jamil]

Wayfair Every style, every home.

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[Rosebud Baker]

We all belong outside.

[Judy Gold]

We're drawn to nature.

[Jamila Jamil]

Whether it's the recorded sounds of the

[Judy Gold]

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[Jamila Jamil]

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[Judy Gold]

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[Rosebud Baker]

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[Judy Gold]

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[Jamila Jamil]

And we're back. All right, it's time for our big wrong turns in life.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, God.

[Jamila Jamil]

You know, I'm coming to you first.

[Judy Gold]

You are? Yes.

[Rosebud Baker]

Okay.

[Judy Gold]

You know, I had so many to choose from. I mean, when we were talking, when you were talking about you could take anything you have, but, you know, as I was telling the story of being in the band, and then I'm thinking, oh, and this also happened. And then that also happened. And then you have to, you know, walk around the hallways in school with everyone knowing that, you know, whatever. But this, I don't think I've ever. I think I told the story once. Okay. So in 2014, I was in Shakespeare in the park. The public theater. Yeah. And this was like, did I ever think I was gonna do Shakespeare in the Park? No. But I couldn't say. My agent's is like. My agent's like, no, you have to do this. I was supposed to go on tour with Cyndi Lauper, and my age was like, no, you will never have this opportunity. Anyway, so Philadelloyd, a director from England who was. It was just the greatest experience. Anyway, so I.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's also, as a comic, really nice to be like, oh, I'm being taken fucking seriously.

[Judy Gold]

Seriously, Because I studied acting, and so I. And I had other acting parts and acting roles that were serious. And the rehearsals are intense. We have. We were all playing men, but we weren't playing men. They wanted us to be. Like, we had a movement person. We had. It was intense. And there was one cast member who was sort of not very nice to me. Like a little bully bull. And I didn't know why. Cause, you know, like, I'm nice to everyone. You know, I'm just. Whatever. And so we go to rehearsals, and I remember one time we was.

[Jamila Jamil]

Was it just like you'd never met them before?

[Judy Gold]

They just immediately didn't take you dagger, like. And I was. I was trying. I was nice. I'd have lunch with the person. And, you know, there's so much of

[Jamila Jamil]

that in this industry. There's always just like one fucking person. I know.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

And I don't know if it was. Cause I made everyone laugh or I was like, you know, I remember one time I came in, we're rehearsing, and I. We got there early, and we're all having our coffee, and I said, oh, it's Hitler's birthday today. And she was like, why do you people have to bring that up? I was like, okay. So I was like, I'm just making a joke. It's Hitler's. Whatever, you people. So we do our first. Yeah, we do our first rehearsal in front of Oscar. Who runs the Public Theater Oscar. And so this is the first time, and I'm so intimidated. These are fucking Golden Globe Academy Awards. Like, they've studied Shakespeare. I mean, I really studied this piece and everything, but, you know, these are people. Whatever. So we're doing our first rehearsal in front of him, and I'm in a scene with this other person, and I'm freaking out. And I am in the middle of the scene. We're using the space. And right in the middle of my portion, this other actor says, well, can we cut? Can you move away from me? Like, can you just. You're in my space. I don't like where you stand. And I was like, oh, my God, you're fucking. Whatever. So we did it again. I got out Janet McTeer, the nicest, classiest. She was like, oh, don't worry about. You were perfect. Whatever. So this goes on and on, and there's just some. And I'm like a people pleaser, right? I just want everyone to get. I want everyone to get along. So that's what my mother used to say when we asked her what she Wanted for her birthday. I just want you kids to get along. Anyway, so we do the run. There's, like, Meryl Streep coming. It's like a big, huge thing. And. And this person at the time was in a relationship with a woman. Okay. And no one knew. No one. You know, I knew. I think all the people in the cast knew. But it wasn't like she wasn't.

[Rosebud Baker]

Was in public, right.

[Judy Gold]

And she didn't identify as gay or lesbian, whatever the fuck they call it now. Anyway, that's what we called it, lesbian. So anyway, and I had met the girlfriend and very nice and whatever. And. And so we do the whole run, and we're at the closing night, and, you know, it's in Central park, and we are going to the closing party at Fred's, which is this bar restaurant on the Upper west side, which is. You get out of the park and you go two blocks to Amsterdam. You know, it's a great place. And so since it's the last night, we are packing up our dressing room, and they bring golf carts to take us out of the park so we don't have to, you know, walk in the dark with our bags, right? So I get in the golf cart. I'm one of the last people. Cause I'm such a fucking slob. But anyway, I have my bags, and then I get in the cart with Theresa Ann Kam. She was in the show with me. She's such a great actor. And in this golf cart are these two women, older women, I guess, relatives of, you know, everyone's family was there and everything. They're already sitting in the cart. And Theresa and I are sitting in the back of the cart facing outward. And we get in, and the driver's like, okay, ready to go? And we're like, yeah. So I'm talking to Theresa, and I'm like, oh, my God. FYI, the person who we're talking about, I know that she has family here, and I think her mother's here. And the mother does not know that she's in this relationship with this woman. So don't say anything. You know, I'm being a good gay, right? And she's like, oh, okay. Yeah. And so I said, just act like they're friends or whatever. And so we get to the end of. We drive. We get to the end where they're gonna let us off the golf cart, and we're gonna walk to Fred's. And who's standing there waiting is person. And I get out of the golf cart, and the two women in the front. Get out. And person says, oh, this is my mother.

[Jamila Jamil]

No way.

[Judy Gold]

And I. When I say stomachache, when I say fucking guts.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, that's like, that is your heart falling out of your pussy. Like, that is.

[Judy Gold]

And she says, hello, like. And I'm like,

[Jamila Jamil]

oh, my.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, my God.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, my God.

[Judy Gold]

I just.

[Jamila Jamil]

Like, my entire body temperature just changed.

[Judy Gold]

And I was like, oh, your daughter's so talented. And she dagger fucking dagger. Dag of dagger ness. Oh, my God.

[Jamila Jamil]

And does this person yet know that you have outed her to her mother?

[Judy Gold]

No. And I get to the party, and by the time I walk those two blocks, a bunch of people in the cast are like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And like, it was the worst. I couldn't even enjoy. I felt sick to my. And I was trying to protect her as a gay.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

And now I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it. How I felt at that party. Like, you know, how, like, your body gets hot and you. You lose your appetite and you're like. It was beyond. And I've seen the person since there's been no mention and just, you know, very cordial, but.

[Rosebud Baker]

Right, right, right.

[Jamila Jamil]

That is fucking.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh, my God.

[Judy Gold]

Isn't that horrifying?

[Jamila Jamil]

That's genuine. I was like, where is this? What's gonna happen?

[Judy Gold]

That is the crazy worst. That's the worst.

[Rosebud Baker]

God.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's also the worst when someone hates you for no reason. And they're always scanning.

[Judy Gold]

Right, Right.

[Jamila Jamil]

Reason to justify why they hate you. And then you accidentally do something that in any way. And you handed her the fucking holy grail of I'm a fucking.

[Rosebud Baker]

Like.

[Judy Gold]

Right. And after the party, I went out. I was about. I was leaving, and she and her not girlfriend. Girlfriend were saying. And she laid into me. So, like, it was. And I was already feeling sick to my stomach. And you know, I don't cry and I'm not a crier. And just. It was like everything. I was just like, oh, my God, like, why? You know, it was another, like, why. You know, I was trying. And I left and I was really humiliated. And then I was yelled at and it.

[Jamila Jamil]

And everyone turned on you, right?

[Judy Gold]

I was being. Trying to be.

[Jamila Jamil]

No, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

[Judy Gold]

That's right.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, man. I have severe foot and mouth disease. So I really. I really feel you on that. That is.

[Judy Gold]

Isn't that a good one?

[Jamila Jamil]

That is outrageous.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's pretty bad. In a good way.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's an exceptional wrong turn in a

[Judy Gold]

good way for this.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's an exceptional wrong turn.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Why?

[Jamila Jamil]

Jesus Christ. Yeah, I'm cringing from the inside out.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, right.

[Judy Gold]

I wanna vomit right now.

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm glad that yours has a golf cart in it too, though. I was like, wait, are we about to both have golf carts?

[Judy Gold]

Oh, good, you have a golf cart.

[Jamila Jamil]

She does have a golf cart.

[Judy Gold]

So I love that. Yeah, well, you're waspy golf cart, of course. I'm like, please help me. I can't carry my shit golf cart.

[Jamila Jamil]

So we're gonna go to a quick break.

[Wayfair Announcer]

Hey there. It's Wayfair here, where delivery and setup are as easy as a few taps on your phone. You're relaxing in an old hammock, scrolling Wayfair when you spot it. A brand new patio set. Next thing you know, Wayfair delivers it right to your patio and sets it up. Oh, you need a new grill too. All right. Wayfair's got you covered. With Wayfair's room of choice delivery and fast expert setup on qualifying orders, life gets a little easier. Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app Wayfair

[Jamila Jamil]

Every style, every home.

[Ad Voice]

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[Judy Gold]

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[Jamila Jamil]

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[Jamila Jamil]

Well then, Rosebud, what is your big golf cart? Wrong turn. Okay, well, it's.

[Rosebud Baker]

I have to begin with the fact that, like, my. My whole family suffers from alcoholism, and. Well, certain members of it do, so I'm one of them, and. Yeah. And my youngest sister is another one. And so we were. I was about. I would say, five years sober and celebrating Thanksgiving at my dad's, like, country club thing. And so we. My sister and I, we're both sober. It's her first holiday sober. It's my, like, fifth or whatever. I'm like, okay. And I'm trying to walk her through it. I'm like, look, it's tough. Like, you're gonna make it through. We'll just stick together. You know, everybody's gonna get hammered, but we'll just be. We'll just, like, make our own fun, you know? You know, the night goes on. It starts. It, like, everybody starts getting a little too drunk.

[Jamila Jamil]

When you're sober, around drunk people, it's fucking exhausting. And you feel like you're exhausting. You're in the beginning of, like, Cirque du Soleil.

[Rosebud Baker]

I mean, I'm around drunk constantly now. I'm very used to it. It doesn't bother me.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

But I literally forget that people are drunk. But I. You know, when it's your family, you're highly attuned to those little things, so. And I was like, they're kind of in a protective capacity over my sister. And so I. I was like, all right, everybody's starting to get a little hammered. Like, what do you say we, like, go for a walk? Right? She was like, cool. So we leave. I bring cigarettes. I'm like, oh, we're gonna, like, smoke a cigarette together. You know, she's younger. Like, this will be co. Old. Are you 20s?

[Judy Gold]

Okay.

[Rosebud Baker]

You know, in my 20s. And we're walking along and. And we pass by these golf carts. I was like, oh, you know what we should do is we should go for a golf cart ride. I was like, you take one, I'll take another. So we're, like, driving along.

[Jamila Jamil]

It is a really fun part about being sober is that you have to be creative.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

Right.

[Jamila Jamil]

To make your own fun. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. You gotta be down to have, like.

[Judy Gold]

You need some excitement.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah. Yeah. Because otherwise, like, a lot of alcohol is sometimes just allowing you to think you're having a good time when you're actually having a really boring time.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah. Or it gives you the guts to break the rules. You know what I mean? Whereas, like, you could just break or

[Judy Gold]

let your guard down.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

So, like, I was like, let's do this. Let's, like, let's Just, like, ride around on the golf course.

[Jamila Jamil]

You're essentially trying to make, like, a movie moment.

[Wayfair Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And a core memory.

[Rosebud Baker]

Not consciously, but.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

Just, like, going.

[Jamila Jamil]

When we're young, we're all trying to, like, build core memories. Being like, this is gonna be crazy. Yes.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, it'll be so insane. So we get on the golf carts, we're driving around. It's fucking dark as shit. And they go fast. Like, they go up to 30 miles an hour. Yeah. So these things were. We're gunning it across the golf course, and we fly over this hill. But one of us lands in a creek that, like, we didn't realize the golf course, like, ended.

[Jamila Jamil]

What do you mean, one of us lands? Which one?

[Rosebud Baker]

I genuinely can't remember. It was me or her, but. But I was like, oh, fuck. And my sister, she freaks out. She freaks the fuck out in this way where, like, she jumps out of her golf cart. And all I remember is, like, it was like Will Ferrell in Talladega Nights. Like, she was just, like, doing circles. And she was like. And I was like, what? I was like, what is the problem? Like, we can get it out, you know? She goes, you don't understand. She's like, I flipped one of these this summer. She's like, I put a girl in the hospital. No.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yes.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, my God.

[Rosebud Baker]

So I didn't realize that, like, now I've put her in a position where she's sober for the first time. Now I've got her in a position where she's like. She feels guilty over something, and guilt and shame. It's like, just like, hand me a fucking drink. You know what I mean? So I was like, okay, all right. Okay. I was like, I'll take care of it. I got it. I got it. I was like, we will go. We'll go back to the. Where my dad and my stepmom were. And I was like, we'll go in the back of Meredith's BMW and we'll grab some rope or something. I was like, we can get something. We'll tow it out. We'll tow it out with the other one. So we try to do that. Right, and.

[Judy Gold]

Is it dark out?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, it's dark.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's pitch black.

[Rosebud Baker]

It's pitch black. We obviously. We can't do it.

[Judy Gold]

Right. Right. Right.

[Rosebud Baker]

We can't do it. So I was like, okay. I don't know what to do. She's like, you cannot tell them. She's like, you cannot tell them that this happened. And as I'M telling this story. I'm like, it must have been her that fell in the. Yeah, yeah. So she's like, you can't tell them that this happened. I was like, okay, we won't tell them that it happened. I go to Meredith's. I was like, this is the last resort. But what we could do is try to tow it out with Meredith's BMW. So I drive. I go back. The keys are in it. Because it's fucking country club. So nobody. They all just leave their shit around.

[Jamila Jamil]

That's insane.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I know. It's so crazy. And so I was like, I get in the car. I'm like, let's go. We drive onto the golf course. I'm like, okay, here's the problem, is that I'm strong enough to, like, do this, to, like. To, like, tie it and, like, make sure that it doesn't. I was like, but you're not. And if something happened to you, I would be totally devastated. I was like, so you're gonna have to drive it. I was like, you're gonna have to drive the BMW. And I will just, like, tie the. I'll tie it to the bumper and tie it to the front and make sure the car.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, those two.

[Rosebud Baker]

What are those? Those two beams that are, like, holding that.

[Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

So I was like, all right. I was like, just stay calm. You know, we're gonna do this. It's fine. We tie it all up. I'm like. I'm pretty positive that I've got this. I get in the back. I'm holding on to the things with, like, through the back window, and. But she freaks out, and in her nervousness, just slams.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, God.

[Rosebud Baker]

Slams it and goes backwards.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, God.

[Rosebud Baker]

So now the BMW is in the creek. It's smashed into the golf cart, and the golf cart has smashed into the other golf cart. So we have now.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, my God.

[Rosebud Baker]

We have now crashed a BMW and two golf carts.

[Jamila Jamil]

None of which belong to you.

[Rosebud Baker]

None of which belong to us on the golf course of a country club that we also don't belong to. Like, we are not. You know what I mean? That, like, my dad is so. I was like, she's gonna have a heart attack. Like, I was like, I don't know what to do. Like, you know when you. When something is so bad that you are just, like, all you do is, like, get more calm.

[Judy Gold]

Right. Right?

[Jamila Jamil]

Yes. I just got.

[Judy Gold]

Cause I can't get any harsh.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's also called shock.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah.

[Rosebud Baker]

And I. Yes. I got out of the car. I go to The. I go to the driver's side. I open up the driver's side door, and she's just, like, shaking inside. And I look at her, and I go, okay, this can't get worse. I was like, we're gonna have to tell them. And I was like, I'll say it was me. I'll say everything was me. I will pay for the damage. I go, as far as they know, I dragged you along in an abusive

[Jamila Jamil]

hostage, in an abusive situation, in a

[Rosebud Baker]

hostile way, I dragged you along. You start to see, like, how you're, like, such an enabler after a while. But I was like, yeah, I will take care of all of it. And we go back to the house, and I said to him, I sat my dad down, and I was like, you're gonna want to sit down for this. And I start telling the story to my dad, and I watched him go from, like, anger to shock to, like, genuine concern, right? And finally he was like, are you drinking again? And I was like, dad, I wish I could tell you that I was drinking, you know? Anyway, he makes me wait on the golf course until dawn when the tow truck can come. And the guy comes out, and he looks at my dad, and he looks at the thing, and he's like, well, don't worry about it. My kids are idiots, too. And then, like, dragged.

[Judy Gold]

And that was it.

[Rosebud Baker]

And that was it.

[Jamila Jamil]

So what happened to your sister after this? Did she.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah. Did she pay you back?

[Rosebud Baker]

No, no. She's my youngest sister. I was like, you're not paying me back also. I don't do that.

[Judy Gold]

That's so nice of you. Like, if I.

[Rosebud Baker]

If I lend somebody money, I'm like, this is your money now. Like, I'm not. Cause I don't.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh.

[Judy Gold]

Cause I wanted to talk to you

[Rosebud Baker]

about that, but I won't do it unless I. Unless I'm, like, not willing to get the money, Right? Unless I'm willing to not get the money.

[Jamila Jamil]

I guess it was your idea to do the golf carting, right? You were the one who was like, this is a great idea. So therefore, I do understand that, you know.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

Have you been back to that?

[Rosebud Baker]

My sister is like the Marx Brothers in one person. Like, she. She is like. She is like, step on a rake, slip on a banana peel, and step in a bucket, right? And that's, like, her whole life. And I should have known that by putting her in a golf cart next to me at night that, like, we were gonna get in some shit.

[Judy Gold]

Have you been back to the country club?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

I've been back.

[Rosebud Baker]

I've been okay.

[Jamila Jamil]

I thought your dad would have been kicked out. That is such a colossal clusterfuck.

[Rosebud Baker]

I know, I know.

[Judy Gold]

No, not if they're paying the dues.

[Jamila Jamil]

No.

[Rosebud Baker]

I think because we'd gotten it cleaned up in like, he literally was like, she put a girl in the hospital this summer. I'm like, how did she put a

[Jamila Jamil]

girl in the hospital this summer?

[Rosebud Baker]

I'm sure she was drinking and flipping. You know what?

[Jamila Jamil]

I was only. I only ever drove a golf cart once. And it was. I'd convinced a very temporary member of the cast to let me. Of the crew. Sorry. To let me try out a golf cart. And, like, I didn't have any formal driving license. And I didn't really understand why you're supposed to have one. Cause I was like, it's basically a fucking Flintstones. It's a Flintstones car. It's ridiculous. So I was driving it. Driving it, you know, and like, you know, but I don't really understand how to brake. And I don't know my left from right. So she's like, oh, that's helpful. Take a left and I go right. And I accidentally exit the Universal lot where we're shooting the Good Place. And now we are on the, like, Riverside Freeway. So now I'm on a freeway on a 30 mph max golf buggy. Everyone is horny. I'm fucking terrified. I don't know what to do. What's going on? This very young, like, basically teenage temp is fucking losing her mind. Being like, I'm gonna get banned from Hollywood forever. I thought we were gonna die. There are cars zooming past us. This is in Studio City. It was one of the singular most terrifying experiences of my entire life. Cause golf carts are feel fast until you're on the freeway. Right. But imagine, imagine.

[Judy Gold]

And then you realize you're so unprotected.

[Jamila Jamil]

Totally. And the only, like, the main concern of mine was not even not to die. It was just not to get her fired. And it was one of the scariest things.

[Judy Gold]

What happened to the car? The BMW? Nothing.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh. That I also had to pay for.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, nice.

[Jamila Jamil]

She got into comedy to pay for this.

[Judy Gold]

Yeah, because it pays. Basically. Women get like twice as much.

[Jamila Jamil]

I, like, feel very comforted by how disastrous you both are.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah. No.

[Jamila Jamil]

Thank you so much for those two incredibly calamitous ridiculous stories. Both golf cart themed, which is very strange. All three of us actually contributed to the golf cart community just then. Before you go, our wonderful listeners like to send in their stories of humiliation. We call this section Misery Loves Company. And this one's from Angela. Always brave when they include their name. I had my first job interview after college. I told my then roommate, who was a massive stoner, how nervous I was. So she suggested. Oh no. She suggested to take a small bong hit. She stressed this was a very mild pot and would give me cocktail party confidence, whatever that is. It sounded better than where my head was, so I did it. Instantly. Everything felt weird and I was seeing stars. She started laughing, saying for a second she really thought I had an interview. And then I had to stress that I did. And she said, oh, no, you should cancel that shit because you just smoked some crazy herb. Oh my God. Why would I take advice from a pothead? But I went anyway. And during a very short three minute interview, instead of answering questions, I laughed hysterically. Spoiler alert. I did not get that job.

[Judy Gold]

Oh my God.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh my God. I really didn't see where that was going. Jesus Christ, Angela.

[Judy Gold]

Oh my God.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh my God.

[Jamila Jamil]

Angela.

[Judy Gold]

What? No, I hope you're not talking about this.

[Jamila Jamil]

She thought she was kidding. She was like, oh, for a minute there, I really thought you did have a big interview.

[Rosebud Baker]

Oh my God.

[Jamila Jamil]

Fucking amazing. I've done it so many times. I've accidentally. I've accidentally eaten edibles just before really big press moments. Really big pitches. Me too. I once sold a show after having accidentally eaten loads of weed gummies.

[Judy Gold]

Oh, I should try that.

[Jamila Jamil]

This was with the producer of this show. We went out, like, with a TV show and we'd been getting no's from different, different networks. And then we went to like HBO or something, which was like the biggest one. And I was stoned out of my fucking mind, like off my. Off my tits. And could barely concentrate during the meeting and just asked for a bowl of snacks and then just sat there like, just doing all the talking with like ketos falling out of my mouth, eating. And I think they just thought, oh my God, she's so like quirky and like Eric Andre ish.

[Rosebud Baker]

That I.

[Jamila Jamil]

That's the one that I booked. That's the one that I'm gonna.

[Judy Gold]

Since I haven't sold a show, I'm gonna fucking take an edible next time.

[Jamila Jamil]

I. Yeah, get weird. I'm sorry that happened, Angela, but you're a fucking legend for telling us that hilarious story. You guys are ideal. Quickly tell me, where can people find you and what do you want them to read and look at? Rosebud.

[Rosebud Baker]

So get my book. It's called Fully Baked A Messy Memoir. It is on shelves June 9th. It's also available for pre order in case this comes out before then. I'm also on the road. I start my theater tour in September. We're calling it the Paper Bag Princess Tour. Go to rosebudbaker.com to see me live. And I'm on Instagram and TikTok at Rosebudbaker.

[Jamila Jamil]

Amazing. Thank you.

[Judy Gold]

You're so good at that. See?

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Judy Gold]

Look at your parents. You did a great job.

[Rosebud Baker]

Yeah.

[Judy Gold]

I am on the new show not suitable for work on Hulu. What else? Oh, Larry Davids 250th on HBO. I am in Provincetown performing all summer long. I have a residency that's so fun. Yes. And so I'm at the Post Office Cabaret. I have a book. Yes, I can say that when they come for the comedians, we're all in trouble. Get that? More coming? Who the hell knows? And oh, Udygold J E W D Y G O L D on instagram and then judygold.com, which is regular J U D Y.

[Jamila Jamil]

But yeah, amazing.

[Judy Gold]

Thanks for having me.

[Jamila Jamil]

Thanks for coming in.

[Rosebud Baker]

Thanks for having us to see you.

[Jamila Jamil]

Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo of your own Wrong Turns. All you have to do is email personal disaster storiesmail.com youm can find full length videos of our episodes on YouTube. And don't forget to subscribe, like review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends about us. And if you are also enjoying me as a person, I have a substack. It's called a low desire to please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna fuck off now. Bye.

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[Jamila Jamil]

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[Rosebud Baker]

So good, so good, so good.

[Judy Gold]

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