Simon Pegg and Richard Herring

Summary

Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil: Episode Featuring Simon Pegg and Richard Herring

Release Date: July 31, 2025

In this compelling episode of Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil, host Jameela Jamil delves deep into the realm of personal disasters and humiliating misadventures with her esteemed guests, Simon Pegg and Richard Herring. True to the show's premise of celebrating life's missteps without seeking silver linings, the trio shares candid and cringe-worthy stories that resonate with anyone who's ever felt like life is just one wrong turn after another.

---

Introduction to the Guests

Jameela warmly welcomes Simon Pegg, a renowned screenwriter, director, producer, comedian, and actor known for his roles in iconic films like Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning. Alongside Simon is Richard Herring, a celebrated comedian, writer, and podcaster famed for his double act with Leon Herring and his contributions to platforms like the Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre podcast.

---

Attraction to Disaster and Embarrassment in Comedy

The conversation kicks off with Jameela posing a thought-provoking question: "When it comes to disaster, humiliation, mortification, do you feel like you're attracted to it or it's attracted to you?" ([03:38]). Simon responds candidly, emphasizing that while he doesn't seek out disaster, misfortunes seem to gravitate towards him:

“I don't feel attracted to it at all. It might be attracted to me, though. It's not like a guilty thrill. It's horrific.” ([03:56])

Richard adds his perspective, highlighting how comedy serves as a mechanism to control embarrassment:

“If you're in control of the embarrassment, which is what comedy is, you can go up and say the most humiliating thing... it's a way of controlling it.” ([05:45])

---

Simon Pegg's Car Crashing Chronicles

One of Simon’s most revealing stories revolves around his unfortunate habit of frequently crashing rental cars. He shares a particularly vivid incident in Greece:

“I have several. My main one is that I, seemingly, without exception, crash every hire car... I hit a post.” ([08:05])

This pattern has not only frustrated his family but also led to repeated bans from renting cars:

“I've been banned from driving three times...” ([08:43])

Simon attributes these mishaps to possible ADHD, suggesting a lack of focus exacerbates his driving challenges:

“Do people with ADHD get into more car accidents than people who don't have it? And the answer was yes.” ([08:58])

---

Childhood Embarrassments: Simon and Richard's Early Mishaps

Both guests reminisce about their most mortifying childhood experiences. Simon recounts a traumatic memory from infancy:

“I went in there to do a number two. And I looked up and there were two girls... I saw my little child's penis.” ([15:02])

Richard shares his own ordeal of accidentally soiling himself at school:

“I had to actually go and then go... I just went in my pants.” ([16:22])

These shared experiences set the tone for the episode, emphasizing how early embarrassments can linger into adulthood.

---

Public Mishaps and Unexpected Consequences

Jameela interjects with her own harrowing story of losing control in public:

“I shat myself in the middle of Santa Monica Boulevard at 26 and then shit all over the road... people think that's just everyone else in Santa Monica, you know, they're all just shitting in the...” ([17:49])

Simon empathizes, sharing his discomfort with public urination despite occasional lapses:

“I find it very hard to... I just pee.” ([43:05])

---

Richard Herring's Relational and Health Tribulations

Richard opens up about a tumultuous relationship that coincided with a health scare:

“I was in a tumultuous relationship... I had testicular cancer four years ago...” ([36:03])

He narrates how a holiday in Barbados became a turning point, leading to the discovery of his cancer and a painful breakup:

“It was about two days later... Donald Murray was working on... testicular cancer.” ([37:00])

This deeply personal story underscores the intertwining of personal loss and physical health crises.

---

Unique and Unforgettable Encounters

Jameela shares an unforgettable encounter with Grace Jones that led to an unexpected loss of control:

“Grace Jones... she goes, I need to pee... I was like... I just pee.” ([44:37])

Both guests find humor in the absurdity of these situations, highlighting the episode's theme of embracing and laughing at one's own misfortunes.

---

Audience Engagement: Misery Loves Company

As the episode nears its conclusion, Jameela introduces a segment titled Misery Loves Company, where she shares a listener-submitted story about a Norwegian man’s unfortunate incident with an IKEA shower stool:

“His engorged bollocks are stuck in the chair and he now can't separate himself and has to go to the emergency room.” ([47:05])

This segment reinforces the podcast's commitment to celebrating and commiserating over personal disasters.

---

Final Thoughts and Full Circle Moments

The episode wraps up with heartfelt acknowledgments between Jameela and Simon. Jameela expresses gratitude towards Simon for past support that aided her career:

“I owe you my career... Thank you.” ([50:05])

Simon reciprocates, reflecting on their shared history and the comfort found in their candid conversations:

“I've done it and I've had a fantastic time. I love it.” ([49:31])

---

Conclusion

This episode of Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil masterfully navigates the often-taboo territory of personal embarrassments and failures, turning them into relatable and humorous anecdotes. With Simon Pegg and Richard Herring's openness and Jameela's engaging hosting, listeners are treated to an honest and entertaining exploration of life's less-than-perfect moments. Whether it's car crashes, childhood mishaps, or unexpected public embarrassments, the trio proves that sometimes, embracing your wrong turns is the best way forward.

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Notable Quotes:

• Simon Pegg ([03:56]): “It's not like a guilty thrill. It's horrific.”
• Richard Herring ([05:45]): “It's a way of controlling it.”
• Simon Pegg ([08:58]): “And I suit, I fit so much.”

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For More Episodes: Subscribe to Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil on your preferred podcast platform to hear more stories that celebrate the messy, flawed, and unfiltered aspects of life.

Transcript

[Hannah]

Hey, guys, it's Hannah from Giggly Squad. You know, I love beauty, and that's why I go to Sephora. It's not just shopping, it's like a glam experience. The beauty advisors actually get beauty, unlike those big box stores and they give me all the advice I need. And I love going with the products you can only find at Sephora, like my new favorite Kayali fragrance, my perfect shade of Haus Labs foundation, and finally, restocked my Laneige lip mask. All with the help of real experts. Oh, and if you haven't tried day shampoo, go try it. It's a game changer. Sephora isn't just a store. It's the beauty destination.

[Jameela Jamil]

Go.

[Hannah]

You'll thank me later.

[Howie Mandel]

I can't tell you how often I hear, oh, I'm a little ocd. I like things neat. That's not ocd. I'm Howie Mandel and I know this because I have ocd. Actual OCD causes relentless, unwanted thoughts. What if I did something terrible and forgot? What if I'm a bad person? Why am I thinking this terrible thing? It makes you question absolutely everything and you'll do anything to feel better. OCD is debilitating, but it's also highly treatable with the right kind of therapy. Regular talk therapy doesn't cut it. OCD needs specialized therapy. That's why I want to tell you about NO cd. NO CD is the world's largest virtual therapy provider for ocd. Their licensed therapists provide specialized therapy virtually and it's covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans. If you think you might be struggling with OCD, visit nocd.com to schedule a free 15 minute call and learn more. More. That's n o c d dot com.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hello and welcome to Wrong Turns. This is a podcast where we are anti inspiration and pro commiseration. I have grown sick and tired of having inspiration shoved up my asshole everywhere I look. And I just want to be able to marinade in the shame of my life with other people and just hear terrible stories and terrible tales of woe that have no silver lining. Okay? No great pearl of wisdom. If anything, I hope you've become stupider. So welcome to my podcast. I invite on my favorite funny people in the world to tell me their tales of woe. And joining me today I have screenwriter, director, producer, comedian and actor known for his roles in Impossible Star Trek movies, all time great comedy, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Spaced, and the World's End. Also now promoting the Final Reckoning, Mission Impossible's. Final film, it's Simon fucking Pegg.

[Richard Herring]

Hi.

[Simon Pegg]

Hello there.

[Jameela Jamil]

Hello.

[Richard Herring]

There's gonna be some humiliation now. It's like when Ricky Gervais interviewed Tom Hanks and Tim Allen and Richard Herring and Richard Hering.

[Jameela Jamil]

No. We welcome a comedian, writer and podcaster known for his double act, Leon Herring, and taskmaster, champion of champions. High five. His current podcast is Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre podcast. It's fant. And he will be appearing at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. And he writes Richard Herring substack, which is perfect, given that it's Richard Herring.

[Richard Herring]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

There you go. That wasn't as barren as you expected.

[Richard Herring]

It's not as good as his ones, though, is it?

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, I mean, neither of us are. We're lucky to be in Simon's presence, frankly.

[Richard Herring]

It's like I won a competition to be here. Simon, am I terminally ill?

[Jameela Jamil]

This is my main wish. Yeah. How are you? How are you, Simon?

[Simon Pegg]

Very good. Very happy to be here, here with you both. Wonderful people.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank you very much. And what about you, Richard?

[Richard Herring]

Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, not too bad, thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, feeling good?

[Richard Herring]

Oh, you know, never. Never feeling good. I'm 58 years old.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, I know. You've been sick for three months, for fuck's sake. Nightmare. So when it comes to disaster, humiliation, mortification, do you feel like you're attracted to it or it's attracted to you? Do you live lives of tumultuous nonsense?

[Simon Pegg]

I don't feel attracted to it at all. It might be attracted to me, though. It's not like a guilty thrill. It's horrific.

[Jameela Jamil]

And was it an amount of humiliation and disaster that led to you becoming a funny person professionally?

[Simon Pegg]

I don't think so. I mean, I think as I'm getting older now and I realize I probably have very serious ADHD and I need to look into that. It actually plays into it.

[Jameela Jamil]

It's really working for you and you should really leave it alone.

[Simon Pegg]

It plays into some of the things I'll talk about today. I would set myself up for it when I was a stand up back in the day. That's a job where you volunteer for humiliation. That's the risk that you take. You go up on stage and you trust that your material and your performance is going to be enough to assuage any, you know, humiliation you might feel when the audience start to talk among themselves or heckle. You know, I mean, dying on stage really isn't about being heckled to death if that happens. It's generally the Audience are just, you know, aggressive. It's losing their attention. And as soon as they start to feel uncomfortable because they think this person doesn't know what they're doing, they just start to talk among themselves and the laughter stops. And that really is dying on stage.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. There's a new trend in America of people turning their back. People, like right in the front row turning their back to the comedian on stage, which I could never imagine happening here. I think the crowd would turn on that.

[Howie Mandel]

What a horrible trend.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know. Nasty, vile. What about you?

[Richard Herring]

Richard has asked.

[Jameela Jamil]

Have been chasing you.

[Simon Pegg]

Yeah.

[Richard Herring]

I mean, I think it's interesting, as a comedian, if something bad's happened to me, I almost. In the moment, I'm thinking, is there something in this?

[Jameela Jamil]

You cynical, fat.

[Richard Herring]

But I think also comedy is a way of controlling. So I'm very easily embarrassed. I was talking to Rhys James, comedian, about this. He's written a really good book about. You're naturally. I'm naturally quite shy and don't like being embarrassed. But if you're in control of the embarrassment, which is what comedy is, you can go up and say the most humiliating thing. I don't really like being in a room full of people talking to people, but I don't mind being in front of everyone telling them the worst thing I've ever done.

[Jameela Jamil]

And I'll go with you, not at it.

[Richard Herring]

Well, yeah, but it's a way of controlling it. And I think also, you do realize, as this podcast shows, the minute you talk about your most humiliating moments, the things that you're most worried about revealing are the bits that go the best. Cause people go, oh, thank God it isn't just me that this has happened to.

[Jameela Jamil]

So that's exactly it.

[Richard Herring]

Yeah. So I've done a. You know, I thought I'd have millions. I probably do have millions of stories because I've told them on stage. But, you know, I think I'm constantly messing things up. I'm very clumsy. I'm sort of socially awkward. You know, I kind of run away from experiences. I never remember who executives are, which explains why I'm not in Mission Impossible. That's one of the reasons. So, yeah, I think once you get that control over it as a comedian, aside from dying or becoming seriously ill, everything is, like, going, okay, there's something in this.

[Jameela Jamil]

Well, it's the great unifier.

[Richard Herring]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

It democratizes everyone.

[Simon Pegg]

Yeah. It's about ownership. You're absolutely right. I mean, when you do stand up, you generally talk about stuff, which is you in a situation which the audience might find uncomfortable or you're making fun of yourself a lot of the time. And so it is about having some.

[Jameela Jamil]

Domain over your own inadequacies and then monetizing them. Which is why I made the podcast.

[Simon Pegg]

I was blushing now.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's also. I think we feel shame about the things that happened to us, even things that weren't our fault because we're afraid we'll be ostracized from the tribe. But what I find via this podcast is it brings more people in because we're all just fucking everything up constantly. Do you have examples of micro humiliations that could sort of lube us up into understanding the life that you've lived? I'll go first with you, Simon.

[Simon Pegg]

I have several. My main one is that I, seemingly, without exception, crash every hire car. And it's, it's. And this again, I think this is. I did it the other day in Greece. I was backing out of the driveway of where we were staying. We had like five people in the car. Everyone was talking. I didn't look. I was checking the sides of the car to make sure that I was clear of the driveway. I didn't look at the review camera thing. And I hit a post and it's become like. And I can feel my wife just crumbling with disappointment that I've.

[Jameela Jamil]

Because she hates.

[Simon Pegg]

I've been banned from driving three times.

[Jameela Jamil]

Why?

[Simon Pegg]

Well, because of totting, you know, like, what's that? Your points mount up. So you get done for speeding. Most recently it happened because there. I'm justifying it. It's unjustifiable.

[Jameela Jamil]

Killed a family.

[Simon Pegg]

So no, there are so many 20 zones where there used to be 30. And you go into them like you always would. And the cameras are there very quickly anyway. That's not an excuse. But on the day that I was in such a bad mood all day after, I did it as well. Cause I just felt my wife's disappointment in me. My daughter, bless her heart, was like, you're right, dad. And I looked up on the phone, do people with ADHD get into more car accidents than people who don't have it? And the answer was yes. And it's because of a lack of focus and ability to kind of. To totally focus. And that was the final kind of straw that broke my ADHD camel's back. When I think I need to speak to a psychiatrist and find out for sure that if I have this thing, which. And I suit, I fit so much.

[Jameela Jamil]

Do you think you could also just be rubbish?

[Simon Pegg]

No, I'm a good driver. I mean, my wife would disagree. I'm pretty. You know, I've done a lot of advanced driving training as well. On the.

[Jameela Jamil]

You also might be extra relaxed. You're on holiday.

[Simon Pegg]

Yeah. I think it was because it's often because I've got lots of people in the car, everyone's talking and because they're excited, because they're going to the beach or whatever, and I lose focus and.

[Jameela Jamil]

Felt like it was their fault from the start. I was always on your side.

[Simon Pegg]

It's absolutely my fault. But it seems I feel like Frank Spencer, if I can date myself terribly, or Mr. Bean, or someone who just constantly finds themself in, you know, embarrassing predicaments. As far as these cars are concerned.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm amazed your insurance still lets you rent anything.

[Simon Pegg]

I'm actually now only allowed to drive smaller cars.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Simon Pegg]

I'm getting. Since I had to let go of my Mercedes eqs, I'm now getting a Mini Countryman.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, lovely. I can't fucking drive at all. I literally can't drive. I tried to drive. Larry David taught me how to drive.

[Simon Pegg]

That's a cool fact.

[Jameela Jamil]

And I crashed his daughter's car.

[Simon Pegg]

That's like a whole episode of Curb.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know, I know. Cause obviously he was too smart to use his own.

[Simon Pegg]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

So he went and borrowed one of his cars and I, like, crashed into something and I cannot tell you how stressful it is because, you know, the. Oh. Oh, my God. Like that screaming while you're trying to concentrate on the road to Santa Monica. Fucking terrifying. Traumatized me. Never sat behind a wheel again.

[Simon Pegg]

No wonder you don't live in LA ever.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Simon Pegg]

You can't live in LA if you can't drive.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know, I know, I know. I was just sucking off Uber drivers to get everywhere. Perfectly honest. What about you, Richard?

[Richard Herring]

Well, I've got. I mean, the one that kind of struck me is quite tame in a way. But it goes back to school, I think. Like, I was. I found school quite confusing. And, you know, like all comedians, there's some issues there that we are all discovering as we get older. But I did go to. I went my secondary school. My dad was the headmaster of the school, so it was quite.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wait, does that get you more or less bullied?

[Richard Herring]

I mean, I think probably less, but there was. There was a tiny bit, but people just sort of left you alone and, you know, it was a weird thing. I think it's helped me compartmentalize because, like, you know, for my career, which is quite good because at School. He was the headmaster at home. He was my dad and I managed to make that distinction, you know, so.

[Jameela Jamil]

But.

[Richard Herring]

And I think only once a guy.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wait, does that mean, like, at school you were just very well behaved in front of him and then you get home and you'd be like, you're a cunt.

[Richard Herring]

No, just. Well, a little bit. Sleep. It's not. Not entirely. There's loads of stuff. You sort of felt like, you know, you felt very ostracized and you felt like people might be friends with you for the wrong. It's sort of like being mini famous. Yeah, yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're also getting safe. Do you know who I am?

[Richard Herring]

Yeah, exact.

[Jameela Jamil]

Unbelievable.

[Richard Herring]

So I think there's a part of me that liked it. But then you don't know, you know, do people just. They're suspicious of you? I guess.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Richard Herring]

And so the kind of. The real example of it was I was up for non sporting house captain. Right. So the school was a comprehensive school, but it was divided into houses for sport. Right. So I don't think there even were any non sporting house activities. But I kind of thought, oh, this will look good on the cv. I'll go for this. I'll try and get this. And I was up. One of my friends, Steve Cheek, who was the head boy, he was kind of very clever, but very sarcastic. He actually went on to be a comedian. He was called Steve Cheek. It's called Steve Cheek. Cheek with an e on the end. He did a double act with Simon Munnery at university. So he actually did go into comedy as well. But he was the head boy. But he was very. He was very rebellious and he was in my house and he went. He didn't go, oh, I'm the head boy, I'll let you have this for your cv. He went, no, I want this as well. And so there was a vote between me and him for this. 300 kids maybe in this, in the school hall to vote on this. And they sent us out of the room, but we could sort of listen through the door. And so they said, who wants to vote for Steve Cheek? And I didn't realize, but if 297 hands raised simultaneously, it actually makes a sound. So this whoomph came through. So you could. And a sort of a laugh as everyone voted for him. And then who wants to vote for Richard, Derrick and like, my two friends voted for me. So there was. That also makes a sound, which is a sound of 297 kids openly laughing. So I didn't get it. And you kind of think, well, it's probably cause my dad's the headmaster, so maybe I shouldn't worry about it. But I did a whole show about my dad being the headmaster. And I kind of realized ultimately my dad was very popular as the headmaster. Like, if people from school meet me, they go, how's your dad? And they just want to talk about my dad. So. Whereas if I wasn't. If I wasn't liked at school, it was probably nothing to do.

[Jameela Jamil]

No. Kids used to like, argue over who had to have me on the sports team. No one ever fought to have me. It was always like, you have her. No, you have her. I don't want her. She falls over all the time. You have her. So I feel that very much so.

[Richard Herring]

But it's got. It's one of these things that kind of. It did sort of go into that, you know, even as a university, you still had that suspicion that people, you know, that people were. Did people like you or not like you because of this. This extra thing. So again, I don't think I've ever fully processed. I should probably go into therapy.

[Simon Pegg]

It's a core memory, that feeling that you had when you were that age. Yeah. It would have set in.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. A nightmare. School's a fucking nightmare.

[Simon Pegg]

Yeah, it is. I remember just. I just remembered a school one. One of my first memories, probably I was at an infant school in Gloucester called Colton Road. And I was. I seem to remember. It's really. It's a very fuzzy memory. Cause I would have been five.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah.

[Simon Pegg]

We had toilets outside, like cubicle toilets. And I went in there to do a number two. And I heard giggling.

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

[Simon Pegg]

Right. And I looked up and there were two girls.

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

[Simon Pegg]

Peeking over the top of the stall and giggling. And I was there and I could see my little child's penis.

[Jameela Jamil]

Thank God it was an adult man's cock. Curvy.

[Richard Herring]

Scary.

[Simon Pegg]

I see my adult's cock. I had an adult cock as a child. Weirdly, I've got a child one now. And I was so embarrassed that I pulled my shorts up real quick. And I think the floor must have been wet.

[Jameela Jamil]

No.

[Simon Pegg]

Because I then just came out of the toilet with a big old wet patch on the back of my shorts, feeling utterly humiliated.

[Jameela Jamil]

Shitty ass.

[Richard Herring]

It's weird that pooping at school was like. And I used. I shat myself like three or four times at school because it was too.

[Simon Pegg]

You didn't want to go to the.

[Richard Herring]

Too embarrassing to go to the toilet. And so like, I, you know.

[Jameela Jamil]

No, you chose the Much Cooler option.

[Richard Herring]

I chose the option of actually going and then going. I was sort of thinking at one time, I was sort of in the. They sent me to the sick room and I. And I just went in my pants. And then the teacher came in and then went. You can just go. He didn't want to deal with. And I wasn't like, you know, this is When I was 9 or 10, I went through a little period of shitting myself. Yeah, yeah, I'd forgotten about that until you mentioned this.

[Simon Pegg]

Now.

[Jameela Jamil]

All sorts of things.

[Simon Pegg]

I've just remembered being on Western Super Mare Pierre at the age of seven and walking through the arcade there and it was amazing. Western Super Mary was fantastic.

[Jameela Jamil]

I loved it. I did T4 on the beach there every year.

[Simon Pegg]

You had to walk to the sea and then you'd go through all this mud. But it was the closest seaside town.

[Richard Herring]

To Gloucester and to where I grew up as well, too.

[Simon Pegg]

So I was walking and I really needed a toilet. We. And I left it too long and I ran back to my nan and my cousin and my mom and I started to wet myself. And I remember seeing my jeans sort of darken and then they had to pull down my pants and trousers on Western Super Mare Pier to kind of like. And I remember that feeling, remember screaming with embarrassment because there I was again, naked in front of a lot of people and with my nan swiping at my groin with a towel. God almighty. That must have had a big effect on me as a kid.

[Jameela Jamil]

I shat myself in the middle of Santa Monica Boulevard at 26 and then shit all over the road. And then people were running away from me, like with their children crossing the road and no one would help me. And I didn't know what was happening. I hadn't eaten anything. I was just having a very bad day, I think. But I was walking down the street, I was suddenly hit with this agony and then like, the hell unloaded from my body to the point where I was like, I'm walking around like legs akimbo, just begging someone for help. And so people think that's just everyone else in Santa Monica, you know, they're all just shitting in the.

[Simon Pegg]

I just thought you were a really glamorous homeless.

[Jameela Jamil]

Or a street performer, you know what I mean? Like, this is my art.

[Simon Pegg]

Oh, it's that girl that shits herself.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, exactly. So no one will help me. And I'm like, I have to hide. So I just sort of crab walk across the pavement to two cars and I just sit in between these two Cars crying, laughing, shitting, and then pissing. Because at some point you may as well. You know what I mean? And yeah, yeah, that's the best one. I had the moment where I just. The way that Simon's looking at me, I'm like, I shouldn't have said that.

[Simon Pegg]

Has that come out before on this show?

[Jameela Jamil]

That is nowhere near the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me, Simon. But we'll get into that later. Let's go to a quick break.

[Hannah]

Hey, guys, it's Hannah from Giggly Squad. You know, I love beauty and that's why I go to Sephora. It's not just shopping. It's like a glam experience. The beauty advisors actually get beau unlike those big box stores. And they give me all the advice I need. And I love going with the products you can only find at Sephora, like my new favorite Kayali fragrance, my perfect shade of Haus Labs foundation, and finally, restocked my Lineage lip mask. All with the help of real experts. Oh, and if you haven't tried day shampoo, go try it. It's a game changer. Sephora isn't just a store. It's the beauty destination.

[Jameela Jamil]

Go.

[Hannah]

You'll thank me later.

[Howie Mandel]

I can't tell you how often I hear, oh, I'm a little ocd. I like things neat. That's not ocd. I'm Howie Mandel and I know this because I have ocd. Actual OCD causes relentless, unwanted thoughts. What if I did something terrible and forgot? What if I'm a bad person? Why am I thinking this terrible thing? It makes you question absolutely everything and you'll do anything to feel better. OCD is debilitating, but it's also highly treatable with the right kind of therapy. Regular talk therapy doesn't cut it. OCD needs specialized therapy. That's why I want to tell you about NO cd. NO CD is the world's largest virtual therapy provider for ocd. Their licensed therapist provides specialized therapy virtually and it's covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans. If you think you might be struggling with OCD, visit nocd.com to schedule a free 15 minute call and learn more. That's n o c d.com this Friday, starring Taron Edgerton.

[Richard Herring]

Holly.

[Jameela Jamil]

Dangerous men are coming for us. I want you to be brave. Can you do that for me?

[Howie Mandel]

All a father needs is a fighting chance.

[Jameela Jamil]

Everybody is looking for you. What do you do?

[Richard Herring]

I'll keep you safe.

[Jameela Jamil]

Promise.

[Howie Mandel]

She rides shotgun. Rated R under 17. Not admitted without parent in theaters Friday.

[Jameela Jamil]

And we are back. So Simon.

[Simon Pegg]

Yes.

[Jameela Jamil]

What was your big wrong turn?

[Simon Pegg]

Okay, so this is like probably Christmas 2005, I would say. And every year we host Christmas. We have my mom, my sister, and now her husband and child. That came later. My wife's got a big old Scottish family and we have Auntie Shirley and cousin Sean. And we were hosting Christmas in our house in Cratchand where we lived at the time. And everybody was in the living room all gathered around the television, watching Christmas entertainment. And I found a video cassette that I thought I didn't know what was on it. I was like, oh, this is fun. This is probably a holiday video or something.

[Jameela Jamil]

Whiskey biscuits.

[Simon Pegg]

Yeah. So I put it on and sure enough, it's a video of my wife and myself on holiday in Kefalonia, where I've been going for 25 years. Had been going for five years at that time. And so we started watching it and the whole family has gathered around the tv. And during our holidays, Maureen and I would always do this thing where in the evenings before we went out to dinner, we were only young, we'd do a little fit check, you know, with what we're wearing for the evening to go down to the taverna and have a nice sort of, you know, moussaka or whatever. And so Maureen comes up and she's wearing this nice summer dress. And it's like, you know, this is what I'm wearing. And then I step in front of the camera and I start saying, I'm wearing this, you know, this pair of shorts and whatever. And as I'm watching myself, just a little tremor of a memory comes back to me. But not before I pull down my trousers and shorts, grab my penis and I go, this is my shirt, this is my shorts and this is my penis. Not only do I do that, I swing it around, you know, like with.

[Jameela Jamil]

Your hand or just like sort of.

[Simon Pegg]

No, with my hand, like a stick, you know, the helicopter trick.

[Jameela Jamil]

Great.

[Simon Pegg]

But as I say it, I leap towards the television going, no. It's like the whole fucking world slows down, but I just don't get there in time. And the room just erupts in kind of like hilarity and disgust. I am, and I'm beyond mortified. And my mother in law said, can we watch that again? I didn't have my glasses on and it was just horrific. And I remember saying goodnight to Auntie Shirley that night and I said, good night, Shirley, sleep well. And she said, I will now. It was horrible.

[Jameela Jamil]

That is haunting, haunting Absolutely hideous.

[Simon Pegg]

My mum also said, that's changed.

[Jameela Jamil]

I mean, fucking hope so.

[Simon Pegg]

I know, right? So even now, as I tell it, I'm blossoming.

[Jameela Jamil]

I feel embarrassed for you. That is absolutely horrific.

[Simon Pegg]

It was sweaty embarrassment, you know, when you kind of like you break a sweat.

[Jameela Jamil]

I've never had that happen. I did have a hairdresser come in to do my hair for Milan Fashion Week and I, you know, my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, so sometimes we send each other inappropriate material. Don't shame yourself when you're in love. But not for the, you know, the public eye. And we'd just been having a little friendly exchange and then this hairdresser comes in and he doesn't speak a word of English. He's also the only straight Italian hairdresser who's ever lived. And he just goes, show me. So he wants me to show him on my phone what I'd like my hair to look like. And so I open my phone and then my phone freezes on the last image and it will not come off of my full frontal nude body. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Mi dispiato, mi dispiatche. And he goes, no, very good. To this day I will never know if that is. But I hear it all the time. Yeah, it's in my head constantly. No, very good.

[Richard Herring]

Did anyone say that when you were behind the car?

[Simon Pegg]

That's the very definition of making the best of a bad situation.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, but phones have created fucking havoc. I'm amazed you were able to have like a VHS disaster. Yeah, that's really impressive.

[Simon Pegg]

It was actually a Hi8.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, sorry, pre digital still tech. My friend told me just literally last week that she was going through. Her dad was going through like holiday pictures with her on his phone and then suddenly loads of pictures of his cock started coming up. And it was from all kinds of crazy angles. This man's in his, like late 70s, but it's like the undercarriage, you know, so you could see a bit of a noose in there as well. So it's like got the undercarriage of the balls. It's up, it's down, it's side from side.

[Simon Pegg]

Maybe it was for his doctor.

[Jameela Jamil]

That's what it took him three days to say that that was the excuse. She thinks he's having, like a really grim affair, but I believe him. It's for the doctor. Bet he didn't immediately.

[Richard Herring]

Was he excited or was he. Was it was it in.

[Jameela Jamil]

He was, he was. He had a semi.

[Richard Herring]

Right. Even if you're 70, that's all you.

[Jameela Jamil]

Can do, you know what I mean? Like that.

[Richard Herring]

What is it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Anyway? Yeah. Fucking nightmare.

[Simon Pegg]

Do you know what? Now, as a matter of course, I never look at anyone's thumbnails. You know, if someone opens up and says, oh, I've got a picture of something and they start scrolling, I never look at their thumbnails, I never look out my eyes. Because it's just a danger zone, you know, because it's a modern phenomenon of kind of sexual relations and it's kind of. It's very commonplace and not at all weird or strange and. But you don't want to ever see anyone else's who you know, who you know.

[Richard Herring]

Do you know what I mean? I do, yeah. Yeah.

[Simon Pegg]

Particularly not your dad.

[Richard Herring]

I've got one though that is very. A bit different because it was in. I wrote a play in about 1997. It was about an archaeological dig and the character. I was in the character.

[Jameela Jamil]

Archaeological dig?

[Richard Herring]

Yeah, it was about an archaeological dig that I was sort of based. When I was a student I went on archaeological. A couple of archaeological digs. So I wrote a play sort of about death and all sorts of things. But my character. It's sort of weird. You write something as a writer and then have to do it. So there was a bit where my character took off all of his clothes and sort of jumped into this grave and started pretending to have sex with the skeleton which you couldn't see cause it was in the grave. But I was gonna be full frontal naked in the play of my own that I'd written. I remember kind of arguing with the director whether that was necessary to go. No, you have to go with what the writer said. But it was actually fine because I don't do a lot of acting. But on stage you're not yourself, you're the character. Absolutely. But there was one day and so it was a run around and I'd get punched and then fall down and then someone would throw something over me so it wasn't so embarrassing. But this one day the show wasn't going very well. I don't know if it's the same to have conflated for some reason there were like three 12 year old girls in the audience. Just. It was a raked audience just at the height of where my crotch was and they shouldn't have been allowed here. But the show wasn't going. The play just didn't click that day. And so I came on and it just felt like me. And I just felt really embarrassed. And then I did it. I got punched out, and the girl threw the thing, and it missed. So I was just then lying on stage for the next 10 minutes with just my eyes lolling on your thigh and just, you know. And it's sort of. That's so weird, because I did it 20 times and 19 times. It didn't feel bad at all. Didn't feel weird at all. But the one time the show. It's sort of weird, isn't it? Isn't it, as an actor, that you.

[Simon Pegg]

Were out of your.

[Richard Herring]

Yeah. Cause you were. Suddenly I was me. Now you are you.

[Jameela Jamil]

You're Richard with his cock out, just. Yeah.

[Richard Herring]

Lying there. And it had to be the one. She missed this thing.

[Simon Pegg]

I did a play where I had to be naked, actually.

[Richard Herring]

Yeah.

[Jameela Jamil]

Did you?

[Simon Pegg]

I was in, like, an experimental theater group when I was at uni. And it sounds very kind of up itself, but the pieces that we put on were quite funny as well, and strange. And I did one where we were four Greek gods touring a sex show around Europe. Right. And trying to get the world to believe in us again. And the. The play was in four sections, each one to a different God. There was Aphrodite, Dionysus, Cupid, and Diana. And I was Dionysus. And in my section, I get killed like this. Curtain comes back. I get killed. Curtain draws, curtain comes back. I get killed in all these amazing ways, and eventually I die for real. And then they strip me naked and they put me in a body bag, and then they grind. They take out what looks like my dick as a sausage, and they put it in a blender. They take out a walnut for my brain. They take out some guts. They put it in a blender, pour it back into the body bag, and then I start to. And then they do this thing like in Peter Pan, like, clap, if you believe in Dionysus. And the audience have to clap to try and bring him back to life. And then I come back to life, come out of the body bag and deliver this monologue. Standing completely naked, covered in meat, about. I can't even remember what it was about. And it was kind of cool and powerful. But every night after the show, I was never embarrassed by it. It was always, like, part of the show. Like you say, when you're in the moment, it's just part of the show. And it was experimental theater. The audience expect to see a bit of nudity.

[Jameela Jamil]

Cock.

[Simon Pegg]

Every night after the show, I had to shower the raw meat out of my pubic hair.

[Jameela Jamil]

Foul. I mean, we've all been there.

[Richard Herring]

We've all been there.

[Jameela Jamil]

We've all been in Hollywood. Oh, man. What an unexpected sharing moment between us. God. So, quick break.

[Hannah]

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[Jameela Jamil]

Go.

[Hannah]

You'll thank me later.

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[Jameela Jamil]

And we're back. It's so funny how nudity has become so embarrassing because I grew up in Spain where everyone's fucking naked all the time.

[Simon Pegg]

It's so weird, isn't it? I mean, that's who we are. It's like, I don't know, I guess.

[Jameela Jamil]

Because it's all fucking religion based. Yeah.

[Simon Pegg]

But also because, I guess, sexuality and, you know, the, the. The potential for it in that state and the fact that men are obviously particularly aroused visually, you know, that's an evolutionary thing and it becomes shameful when it's just fucking us.

[Jameela Jamil]

But what I'm saying is that in Spain you see up you fucking tits everywhere. Just tits of balls everywhere you fucking look. And so you sort of. They become commonplace.

[Simon Pegg]

What are the flight fares these days?

[Jameela Jamil]

It's £29 on EasyJet. I'll see you there.

[Simon Pegg]

I used to go on the holiday I was just on. Every morning I'd run down to this nudist beach.

[Jameela Jamil]

I fucking bet you did.

[Simon Pegg]

And it was completely deserted apart from this one guy who was there every day. He was there every day like, you know, he was just an old guy. And he'd lie there and I'd go and I'd. And I'd strip off and I'd have a naked swim and then come back, sit on the beach for a little bit, put my shorts on, run back and it was so lovely just to be naked outside and not have any kind of sense of transgression or shame. It was great.

[Jameela Jamil]

Lovely. Well, now everyone knows where to find you. Nine o' clock every morning, tell us, what is your big wrong turn?

[Richard Herring]

I mean, there's so many. I thought I'd go for a romantic one and there's. I mean, there's a lot that I could feel free to overshare. I think the worst one I was in quite like at the beginning, about 2002, it would be. I was in quite a tumultuous relationship and we were both in a kind of weird place we shouldn't. Neither of us were ready for a relationship, but we were in this relationship and I was writing a sitcom and I got a week off this sitcom and we went to Barbados for a holiday. And like the night before I'd been doing a gig and we'd had this massive row on the. On the phone and she said, I'm probably not gonna come to the. So I will see if I'm gonna come. So, like, I had to go and see if she would come the next morning. And it turned out, unbeknownst to me, that night, she's been out with her ex boyfriend who had proposed to her that night. So obviously something had been going on. And look, I don't think I was entirely favored in that relationship either. But, you know, we were sort of in a relationship and I didn't know any of the.

[Simon Pegg]

You're right.

[Jameela Jamil]

This is a romantic story.

[Richard Herring]

I didn't even know she'd been. I didn't know she'd been sick, seeing him. And so we went to Barbados, and every now and again she go, I've just got to go and call the wedding planner. She had some excuse about something going on in London. There's some exciting writing thing. And she would go to the hotel room and ring England from Barbados at the time. Very expensive, you know, it was like, oh, that's fine. About two days into that holiday, I went. I just walked into the sea just to have a paddle, and I didn't get very far. And I was hit by a wave and sort of tossed around and hit my head on the sort of sand and rock. But it was fine. My head was fine. But for some reason, I sort of ripped my stomach lining a bit, I think, and my testicle swelled up to like 3 or 4 times its actual usual size. Okay. So then we had this.

[Simon Pegg]

So a basketball game.

[Richard Herring]

Yeah, that's the age. I mean, in the end, I had testicular cancer four years ago of that testicle. And I asked the oncologist if it might be connected. And he said that might have been the catalyst that sort of started it going. Or it might have been there and that prompted it. Cause it got big, and that's what happened within reality. So we're having this terrible holiday. She was going out. She had a friend at this hotel. And she'd go out in the night and leave me. Cause I was really too. I just wanted to lie in bed.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wait, and the friend isn't the guy?

[Richard Herring]

No, there was another guy? No, no. So she was ringing this guy, unbeknownst to me, obviously. And so I was having this horrible holiday. Nothing was going on. And when I flew back, the testicle sort of acted as an altimeter or whatever. Every time that the plane went up, it would hurt. It would hurt. Oh, my God.

[Simon Pegg]

Man.

[Richard Herring]

So I had this really devastatingly bad holiday. And then we got back, I think in the cab. We sort of basically had broken up.

[Simon Pegg]

Yeah.

[Richard Herring]

But then.

[Jameela Jamil]

Sorry, just quickly. So while you had your, like, big swollen bollock, she was. Would not stay back and look after you show.

[Richard Herring]

No, no. She was sort of going out and she had. There was a guy who worked at the hotel she knew. And who knows, I'm going out with.

[Simon Pegg]

Someone with normal sized balls.

[Richard Herring]

No, suppose someone can have sex. Because I couldn't have sex, obviously anyone who wanted to. So we sort of broke up. And it was about two days later, you know, two or three days later. Al Murray was working on. I was working on a sitcom with him. And he said, you know, have you heard that, like, this girl was proposed to by her? And I said, no way, that can't be true. And so I looked through the numbers on the hotel bill and I sort of rang the number that came up the most. And this guy answered the. Answered the phone. So I was able to go. So, you know, she'd completely denied and said it was nonsense. So she'd been like, not only I had this disastrous personal experience, but I'd been paying for her. Like it was a lot of money. They were long phone calls for her to talk to this guy about whether they were gonna get married or.

[Simon Pegg]

Oh, my God.

[Richard Herring]

Unbelievable. And then it was quite public because we were all in this cast. And so she was the friend of one of the actors in the cast. And obviously we all knew each other. Cause she'd been hanging around with us while we'd been writing the show. And so it was a very sort of humiliating thing in the end.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'd say more humiliating for her. She comes out worse here. Yes, you have the bollock the size of a small country.

[Richard Herring]

But it's all, you know, that wasn't her fault. That wasn't her fault.

[Jameela Jamil]

I'm blaming her. I'm 100% blaming her for that.

[Simon Pegg]

It's worse that she paid for her indiscretions with your money than it is that you had a large ball.

[Richard Herring]

It did. I think it. Well, you know, it was annoyed at the cause I'd pay for the holiday as well. And you know, and I had a bit of. I'd made some money doing this sitcom and it wasn't that big a deal, but it was like hundreds of pounds. You know, it might be more than hundreds of pounds just as an extra. Kicking the ball. Kicking the distended ball. But yeah, that's the little kicker. Their bollock is gone. I think it's the. I'm pretty sure it's the same one. I can't 100% confirm that it's the same one that I've lost. But 20 years down the line because of that. Holiday. I then got to possibly that led to me getting testicular cancer.

[Jameela Jamil]

Barbados incurs all kinds of chaos. My mum used to take us there during hurricane season because that was the only time it was set safe to not safe. Sorry. That was the only time it was affordable. Yeah, that was the only time it was affordable to go. So it would be like, you get, like, £59 for a return ticket from London to Barbados during the height of hurricane season. So I'd just spend the entire week, like, not getting any sun, just come back paler, just clinging to a fucking tree for dear life in a monsoon. And she went out for a swim one day, which was a very risky decision. She goes out for a swim, gets fucking stung by a jellyfish in very unstable waters, starts drowning. I can't figure out what's happening because she's really far away. And I'm at the buffet, so I'm quite distracted, and I'm like, oh, fuck, she's not fucking gonna drown, does she? And I've just got the perfect plate. And I take a buffet plate so seriously. And I was like, someone's gonna take this if I go. But fuck it, I'm gonna go over and check with my brother to see if he thinks she's drowning. And my brother is daft. He's incredibly daft. He never knows what the fuck's going on. So he looks at her and she's doing the distress way. And we're like. We can't tell if she's just going like, hey, look how far I've come. It's not very clear. And I'm like, I think that's a distress signal. He's like, no, she's just showing off how far out she's gone. I was like, her head keeps going under her. I was like, I think she's. I think she's drowning. So I run out there full David Hasselhoff style. I rescue her. She's been stung, and then she has to be pissed on.

[Richard Herring]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

And, like, people are so excited to piss on her, how they're queuing up. It's crazy. Yeah. Three separate men piss on her. It's like, you just need one. But she just gets group pissed on.

[Simon Pegg]

Whereabouts was the sting her?

[Jameela Jamil]

It was on her leg. Thank God it wasn't, like, in her mouth or something.

[Richard Herring]

Sounds to me like a lot of guys hanging around that beach ready to piss on anyone who gets stung, just.

[Jameela Jamil]

Releasing stingrays and, like, jellyfish into the ocean.

[Simon Pegg]

Imagine if he gets stung in the mouth by a jellyfish.

[Richard Herring]

How Unlucky. Is that.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah, exactly.

[Simon Pegg]

I mean, that swirl around someone else's pee.

[Jameela Jamil]

Exactly.

[Richard Herring]

I heard that's an urban myth, that the pee does anything. I think it does in the short term, but it doesn't.

[Simon Pegg]

It's ammonia, isn't it?

[Richard Herring]

Is that the thing?

[Jameela Jamil]

She was fucking horrified. Little old Pakistani woman. Can you imagine just being. Just everyone's cocks out, everyone pissing on her in a circle. I was like, this is. I've seen this poor day.

[Richard Herring]

I wouldn't be able to do it. I can't pee in front of other people, so I wouldn't be able to. I'd be. No, it'd be awful. And I'm a goat, so I can't help.

[Simon Pegg]

I find it very hard to. You know, sometimes you pee in the sea, you know, when the toilet's too far away. And I find it really hard to override my reluctance to pee. Obviously, I won't pee in my shorts. That's gross. But if I do have to do it, I'll release.

[Jameela Jamil]

You'll pull your panties to the side. Yeah.

[Simon Pegg]

But even then, I can feel my unconscious mind fighting the urge.

[Richard Herring]

Yeah, I can't do it. I can't do that either.

[Simon Pegg]

To do it. And I don't do it very well. It's kind of gross, but I feel the sea's full of fish piss anyway. Who cares?

[Richard Herring]

I think.

[Jameela Jamil]

But no, I seem to. I'm not a big sea pisser, but I have some sort. I'm like a homing pigeon for someone else's piss now. Wherever I am, I'm like, cold, cold, cold, sudden warm. And then you know exactly what's happened. But it's a fucking nightmare. I was once forced to piss by Grace Jones.

[Simon Pegg]

You've got some amazing stories.

[Jameela Jamil]

Very strange, very, very upsetting. I don't think I've ever told the story publicly, but it just reminded me of it. I have a reticence to that.

[Simon Pegg]

Sounds like a pornhub thumbnail. Forced to piss by Grace Jones.

[Jameela Jamil]

I met her at Wimbledon and she just took an immediate shine to me. I was hosting there that year and so I was on my own, just grabbing like, just watching a little bit of the match. And she, like, takes real shine to me and she goes, you're coming with me. And she just, like, barely moves her face when she speaks, and she's absolutely terrifying, but also gloriously gorgeous and very cool. So I was like, okay. So I spend some of the day with her, and then at some point she turns to me and she goes, I Need to pee. And I was like, all right, I'll wait here. You can leave your stuff with me if you want. She was like, you're coming. And I'm like, oh, no, I don't need to pee. I don't really pee outside of my house, so I haven't drunk anything.

[Simon Pegg]

You're shit all over Santa Monica but never pee.

[Jameela Jamil]

Yeah. Very precious about being a lady. And so she was, come with me. And I was like, all right, well, look, I'll come with you. Maybe you're nervous to go to the loo alone. Cause you don't wanna get bothered by fans. That's fine. I'll go with you as your piss security. I'll protect your vagina. So I go with her to the toilet. And she goes, you go in there? And she points to the cubicle. I was like, yeah, but I don't need to pee, so there's no point. I'll just be sitting in there. She was like, you're gonna pee. And I was like, I really. I can promise you I'm not gonna pee. I cannot pee on demand. I'm very uptight in English. And she goes, just go in there. So I go in there and I lock the door. And I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna wait it out. She's an older lady. She's not gonna be able to hold it for long. She'll pee, and I'll just sit here. She starts peeing, and I'm like, thank God. And then she stops peeing. Like, controls her own piss and goes, I can't hear you, guts. And I pee through my neck. I just, like, immediately piss myself. I just pee.

[Simon Pegg]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

I just pee.

[Richard Herring]

Yeah.

[Simon Pegg]

Grace Jones released your pee.

[Jameela Jamil]

Is that powerful? She made me piss on demand.

[Richard Herring]

Is it the timbre of her voice.

[Jameela Jamil]

That made me know it?

[Richard Herring]

She just had that power.

[Jameela Jamil]

It felt like there was like a knife or something was gonna come through the walls. My brain just went, fuck it. And I pulled water from God knows where. Cause I hadn't drunk all day. And it's Wimbledon. You're sweating. But I peed. Yeah.

[Simon Pegg]

Wow.

[Jameela Jamil]

Anyway, okay, now, in our final installment of this podcast, we invite the audience and, you know, members of the public to share their stories or stories they've heard in the news. This is called Misery Loves Company. And so I will tell you this brief story before you go. But I just want to say, you've both been so fun, and this has been so fucking delightful, and I've said far more than I wish I Had. Anyway, so after a knee injury, a Norwegian man invested in a stool from IKEA to sit in while he showered. You've seen the ones maybe like, you know, shower stools, but it's one of those ones, you know, like IKEA gets a bit fancy sometimes and it's got all sorts of different shaped holes in the, in the seat. You know, it's an aesthetic. He sits on the chair, his, his bollocks fall through one of the holes. And I picked this one specifically for you, Richard, in solidarity.

[Richard Herring]

Thank you.

[Jameela Jamil]

And that's fine, you know, it's just hanging there. But then the heat of the shower. He likes a hot shower. This Norwegian man makes everything swell and enlarged and now unfortunately, his engorged bollocks are stuck in the chair and he now can't separate himself and it doesn't matter even if he tries cold, tries getting out. He is attached now to the chair and has to go to the emergency room.

[Simon Pegg]

Oh my God.

[Richard Herring]

Did he have to break the chair off the wall or was he just.

[Jameela Jamil]

I think they had to like ice his bollocks.

[Simon Pegg]

I would have got the shower head, ice cold water and just held it onto the balls.

[Jameela Jamil]

But that would also be quite shocking and bad maybe for the balls going.

[Simon Pegg]

To A and E with a hair hanging off your testicles.

[Jameela Jamil]

He did later enter into a dispute with IKEA over the danger of this ball and I think he did not win because that was really his bad. Why would you ever have a hanging sack and sit on a holy chair?

[Richard Herring]

That's the design flaw. That if it's meant to be a, if it's a shower stool, then you're meant to sit on it. It's got to be safe for a minute.

[Simon Pegg]

It's entirely his account of what happened.

[Jameela Jamil]

Exactly.

[Richard Herring]

I mean, that sounds to me like.

[Simon Pegg]

Do you know what I mean when.

[Richard Herring]

You'Re saying to a doct, yeah, I.

[Simon Pegg]

Just sat on the umbrella, you know.

[Richard Herring]

He obviously, I don't know how the hunter got in there.

[Simon Pegg]

That's his account of his ball related sexual practices. Ball stool interface.

[Jameela Jamil]

So anyone out there considering buying one of those little chairs for your shower? Just get a flat. Just don't be a cunt, all right? Don't go for the stylish one. Go for a nice, flat, simple stool, all right?

[Simon Pegg]

With no boreholes.

[Jameela Jamil]

Okay, I think I've made my point here. Simon, Richard, what a joy you've both been.

[Simon Pegg]

What fun. There's been a lot of genital related embarrassment.

[Jameela Jamil]

I know, I know, I know, I know. We have all literally Exposed ourselves. But before you go, can you tell the audience anything you want them to hear or see?

[Richard Herring]

Richard, I'm in Mission Impossible. I'm doing my podcast with Hannes about the Edinburgh Fringe from 30 July to 10 August. So if anyone's up, anyone can afford to go to Edinburgh these days and come see it.

[Jameela Jamil]

Perfect.

[Simon Pegg]

And Simon, I'm doing Richard's podcast.

[Richard Herring]

You're welcome anytime.

[Simon Pegg]

I've done it and I've had a fantastic time. I love it. It's a great podcast, I think. Yeah. The Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning is coming out on the home formats pretty soon, so maybe go see that. Otherwise I'm gloriously unemployed.

[Jameela Jamil]

You were my audition for tv.

[Simon Pegg]

Was I?

[Jameela Jamil]

I just remembered it just now that I meant to say to you that I a little bit owe you my career. Come on. You were doing the premiere for Hot Fuzz.

[Simon Pegg]

I remember you interviewing me, by the way.

[Jameela Jamil]

And I was interviewing. That was my audition for T4. So it was if I could. My first audition was like the normal one where you're in front of a teleprompter. But then they needed to know if I could go out in the wild and get silly. And so I had two auditions. And my final one was if I could interview you and Nick Frost well at the Hot Fuzz premiere.

[Simon Pegg]

That's amazing.

[Jameela Jamil]

And I was nobody. I was 22. I was an English teacher at the time. I had never held a microphone before. And I had to interview both of you. And you didn't know me, but you both stopped for me. Cause of my pleading, desperate faith. And you were both so funny and so raucous. And I had such crazy questions. And you answered them with so much enthusiasm and just jump all the way in with me. And because those interviews were so good, I got the fucking job on T4.

[Simon Pegg]

That's very good.

[Jameela Jamil]

So I've always wanted to be able to say to your face, thank you.

[Simon Pegg]

Oh, my God.

[Jameela Jamil]

And I owe Nick a similar thank you.

[Richard Herring]

And, you know, now she's interviewing you again and this is the last interview she'll ever do when the story gets out.

[Simon Pegg]

It's okay. You didn't tell the 20 orgasms in front of the Farmer's Story, so.

[Jameela Jamil]

But thanks for being so sad.

[Simon Pegg]

You're so welcome. I do remember you, actually. I remember you back in those days, obviously. And I remembered how delighted I was when I saw the Good Place and thought, oh, it's Jamila.

[Jameela Jamil]

Oh, yeah, thank you. Yeah, you sent me a really sweet message. But I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have this tiny little room.

[Simon Pegg]

I'm sure that's not true. It could have been anybody.

[Jameela Jamil]

But, yeah, I appreciate you. It's a lovely full circle moment. Thanks, guys.

[Richard Herring]

Thank you. It's been lots of fun.

[Simon Pegg]

This room has definitely raised in temperatures.

[Richard Herring]

Yeah, down, down. Let's do it all Snapchat myself during.

[Jameela Jamil]

Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. Thank you to our launch producer, Eve Bishop, our editor, Shannon Joy Rogers, and consulting producer, Colin Anderson. You can find full length videos of our episodes on YouTube. And don't forget to subscribe, like, review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends about us. Oh, and if you enjoy me, I have a substack that I write several times a month with some of my other embarrassing stories and also other thoughts and opinions. But that's enough of me. I'm gonna fuck off now. Bye.

[Hannah]

Hey, guys, it's Hannah from Giggly Squad. You know, I love beauty, and that's why I go to Sephora. It's not just shopping, it's like a glam experience. The beauty advisors actually get beauty, unlike those big box stores. And they give me all the advice I need. And I love going with the products you can only find at Sephora, like my new favorite Kayali fragrance, my perfect shade of Haus Labs foundation, and finally, restocked my Lineage lip mask, all with the help of real experts. Oh, and if you haven't tried day shampoo, go try it. It's a game changer. Sephora isn't just a store. It's the beauty destiny Nation. Go. You'll thank me later.

[Howie Mandel]

I can't tell you how often I hear, oh, I'm a little ocd. I like things neat. That's not ocd. I'm Howie Mandel, and I know this because I have ocd. Actual OCD causes relentless, unwanted thoughts. What if I did something terrible and forgot? What if I'm a bad person? Why am I thinking this terrible thing? It makes you question absolutely everything and you'll do anything to feel better. OCD is debilitating, but it's also highly treated with the right kind of therapy. Regular talk therapy doesn't cut it. OCD needs specialized therapy. That's why I want to tell you about nocd. NOCD is the world's largest virtual therapy provider for ocd. Their licensed therapists provides specialized therapy virtually and it's covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans. If you think you might be struggling with OCD, visit nocd.com com to schedule a free 15 minute call and learn more. That's no C D com.