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Rob Corddry
Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
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Jameela Jamil
Hello and welcome to Wrong Turns. This is the podcast where dignity goes to die. We don't really believe in silver linings here. If they happen, they happen. But generally we are not looking for them. We're not trying to shove them up people's asses. This is just a free space to own our shame and humiliation together as a community. Joining me today I have an actor, comedian and writer from the Daily show with Jon Stewart, Children's Hospital, Hot Tub, Time Machine and Ballers. He has four primetime Emmy awards, mostly to make us all feel like shit. It's Rob Cordrey. Hello.
Rob Corddry
Hi.
Jameela Jamil
My intro was written by your long time pal. Yes, Stuart Bailey, who you worked with on the Daily show. You guys have 20 years of beef. He's written your intros.
Rob Corddry
Sorry, can't wait.
Jameela Jamil
I am also thrilled to welcome a comedian, writer, director and actor. And he's a five time Emmy award winner, an Academy Award winning filmmaker. So eat shit. Cordy Stewart has told me to say he's written for the Daily Show. Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. It's Trayvon Free.
Trayvon Free
Yay. Thank you for having me.
Rob Corddry
This is great. I actually have four and a half Emmys.
Jameela Jamil
How does that happen?
Rob Corddry
Because the correspondence, when I was on the Daily show, the correspondence didn't get. We weren't considered writers so we weren't didn't get Emmys. And then so but we, Samantha Bee, Ed Helms and I went into John's office once and he sat us down and there were three Emmys in like bubble wrap on the table. And he goes and he's got this famously cluttered desk, so many things on it. And he was like, each one of you can pick one thing off my desk. And Sam B. Calls it our Kamemi because it says commemorative in small writing in the back. Yeah, yeah. So four and a half times.
Jameela Jamil
Still not five.
Rob Corddry
I picked Donald Rumsfeld's book. I think that was more valuable.
Jameela Jamil
I have zero Emmys, so I'm a nominee only. I bow down to you both and I am thrilled to be in your presence. Of course.
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Trayvon Free
We just so happened to luckily land in the Jon Stewart wake of emmy downpour from what, 2000 to 2015.
Jameela Jamil
Basically the golden era. Now only AI will be winning Emmys going forward. Thank you for this award. Yeah. So we are here to celebrate disaster. How do you handle disaster? You handle it well. You handle it badly. Guys.
Trayvon Free
You know, when you do comedy, disaster is sort of like your friend.
Jameela Jamil
Totally. But sometimes after the fact, like when.
Trayvon Free
It'S happening privately, you're like dying inside.
Jameela Jamil
Right, right, right.
Trayvon Free
You can't stop replaying the disastrous moment in your head and you think all the worst possible things. You can think about yourself.
Jameela Jamil
Yes.
Rob Corddry
Yeah. It depends on the disaster, too. Like getting into a little car wreck or something. You know, that's a minor disaster. Right. That's not really a disaster, but it's like horror. It makes me feel worse than anything else.
Jameela Jamil
I find it hysterical in the moment, no matter how bad it is.
Rob Corddry
Like an offender bender.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah, like any. Anything that goes wrong. Anything goes wrong. Unless I had killed someone by mistake.
Rob Corddry
I think that's a good answer then.
Jameela Jamil
That would be. I find it like, am I a psychopath, though? Because I start cackling mid car accident. Mid. Like, mid. Yeah, mid everything.
Trayvon Free
I wonder if you can trace it back to some moment in your life where you're like. And something horrible happened.
Jameela Jamil
I am just even just like two days ago, I was at the premiere for this new film I'm in on Netflix. It's called People With Me on Vacation. And it's a huge premiere. They've brought the fans in. Like the book fans. Cause it's based on a big book. And I take the spill of all spills. I go flying across the floor. And it's a marble floor, so I now have marble burns. Oh, no. Across my. Yeah, across my. I know, it's like middle class, like, version of a carpet burn. You know what I mean? It's the bougie carpet. But I've got these and I've got two huge ones.
Rob Corddry
It's such a good looking burn. And I've got so smooth.
Jameela Jamil
Two huge ones across my knees as well. And I'M like, it looks like I have been fucking on marble. You know what I mean? It looks like I have, like, in a sultan's palace, really getting at that blowjob. So I have to wear tights in LA now for the first time for the next few weeks, just to cover up these. It's just in the filthiest places, like elbows and knees is doggy style.
Rob Corddry
How public?
Jameela Jamil
How public? In front of a thousand people, Everyone. Everyone says on the Internet, and what's cr? I don't know. I think because they're book kids, they were holding their books rather than their phones. So I don't know if anyone's got footage of it yet, but the girl who did it, who knocked me over in the first place, reached out to me on Instagram to check if I was okay. But that is the sort of thing that would always happen to me. And of course, like, low cut dress tits came out. It was a fucking diabolical. The whole deal nightmare. Yeah, I don't even have a big part in the film, but I played a big part in that premiere anyway, so that's kind of. But I started cackling midair.
Rob Corddry
Oh, wow.
Jameela Jamil
My nipples weren't even out yet. I was, like, bad at fucking hysterical. And I was like, ah, it's gonna be so great for the podcast. Cynical Bitch. Okay, so give me an example of kind of some micro humiliations. Why don't we start with you, Rob?
Rob Corddry
I was hosting the GQ Men of the Year Awards, right? And yeah, you'd think it was at the Sunset Tower Hotel. It was not a big, like, thing, but they had honored like 15 men of the Year that year. So it was packed with all these celebrities and my job was to host and get up and like, basically roast them. And I got a writer from the Daily show who is spot on, like, one of the best writers in television still is today, and went there with my wife and Tim the writer, and from moment one bombed. Like, I have never bombed before. And I mean bombed in a way that makes the table of Jackass guys yell at me like they were heckling me. Steve O yelled, sit down, shit ass.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, my.
Rob Corddry
Al Gore is there two tables away.
Jameela Jamil
Did he also call you shit ass?
Rob Corddry
He did not. But he got up after I introduced him and he said, thank you. We've all been enjoying the barbs of Rob Corduroy. Like, no fucking idea who I was, no interest.
Jameela Jamil
Were the jokes funny? Was everyone just being a tight ass?
Rob Corddry
I don't know. The one joke I remember, it's mid. You know, it's like I said, ben Affleck is right there in the front row. And I said, ben Affleck is here. And Jen Garner was married to him and behind him at the time, like, kind of hiding from his vision, his view. And she gave me a subtle, like, shake of the head, like, you shouldn't do this. You should not do this.
Jameela Jamil
And he was just like, that's so her, isn't it? Like, he's so protective and nice being like. Because she's not just protecting him. She's protecting you as well. No, no, no, no, no.
Rob Corddry
Please don't do this to yourself. And I said, ben and I have a lot in common. We're both from Boston. We both drive Lamborghinis, which that was where the joke gets kind of mid. Cause I didn't. You know, and it was like, that's a hat on a hat. But I was young. We both drive Lamborghinis, and at the peak of sexual climax, we both called out J. Lo's name.
Jameela Jamil
Oh.
Trayvon Free
Oh, yeah. Great joke. I don't know.
Rob Corddry
It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not great. But, like, they were at least on par with that joke, if not better.
Jameela Jamil
What was his reaction?
Rob Corddry
Oh, just like, every guy I went to high school with, and he reminds me. He's always reminded me of every guy I've gone to high school with. Like, the Masshole, you know, just terrifying.
Jameela Jamil
Wait, what is that?
Rob Corddry
Masshole?
Trayvon Free
Assholes from Massachusetts.
Rob Corddry
From Massachusetts. There's a lot of them.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, my God. I'm gonna start calling, like, assholes from London lass holes.
Rob Corddry
Yeah, that's fantastic. They're terrifying people because they all have some connection to Southie, you know? And he was just, like, staring, jaw clamped.
Trayvon Free
Was he still in character from Batman? Is that what it was?
Rob Corddry
I don't know, Ben, but Leonardo DiCaprio is next to him, too. And he kept looking at Ben to see what his reaction was, because he was like, oh, he doesn't like this.
Jameela Jamil
That thing.
Rob Corddry
How's he go?
Trayvon Free
And you had all the men who don't have senses of you.
Rob Corddry
Yeah, they were right in front.
Trayvon Free
That take themselves very seriously.
Jameela Jamil
But here's. Here's the serious men of the year awards.
Rob Corddry
The thing that saved the night for me was that the whole time off in the corner, they had sat Will Ferrell, and Will was laughing his ass off at every joke. And not just every joke, every reaction, every lack of a reaction. He loved it. And we've spoken about it afterwards. He was his Cool.
Trayvon Free
That was terrible.
Jameela Jamil
He was gleefully enjoying watching a death right in front of him.
Trayvon Free
Yes.
Rob Corddry
Yes.
Jameela Jamil
That's so Will Ferrell. Yeah.
Rob Corddry
I was like, thank you very much. This has been a fantastic night. You've been a great crowd. And I walked off the stage, out the door, and into my car.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, that is a fucking fever dream. Nightmare. Jesus Christ. I mean, you look in physical pain.
Rob Corddry
It's one of those things. Yeah, it's one of those.
Trayvon Free
Because when you're bombing, whether it's standup or hosting, every minute feels like 10.
Rob Corddry
Yep.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Trayvon Free
You're like, there's not enough time. I could be up here all night. But, like, when you have the moment that first joke gets that radio silence, you're like, oh, boy.
Jameela Jamil
So what about you, Trayvon? Do you have a micro humiliation for me? An offering.
Trayvon Free
Micro. I think. Yeah. There was a time where we were all 17.
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Trayvon Free
Young. We were horny, all those good things. And, you know, I was hanging out with my high school girlfriend at her house. And, you know, we. I was a year older than her, so I was going to college in a couple months. And she was older, man. Yeah. I was a senior. She was junior. And. But because I was leaving, we would hang out a lot more. And so I was at her house with her mom, and we're in her room watching tv, hanging out, and her mom is like, comes in the room, I'm gonna go pick up your sister. And so I'll be back, you know, and so we got, like. We thinking we got like, 20 minutes to just kind of, like, hang out and do whatever. And she starts kind of like, you know, trying to work me up. And we ended up. We just got into it. We just. Yeah, we just like, you know what? Let's just do this.
Jameela Jamil
20 minutes of 17 is a lifetime.
Trayvon Free
We're going to have, like, to get back to watching TV.
Rob Corddry
Never needed that much time.
Trayvon Free
Like, she said, 20 finishes.
Jameela Jamil
How many times are we going to do it?
Rob Corddry
Wow.
Trayvon Free
Should I order a pizza?
Rob Corddry
I can take a nap.
Trayvon Free
And we were just, like, going at it. Bedroom door open. We're like, we got the house for ourselves. And then a few minutes, maybe like a minute or two in the entire duration of the thing, right? I hear, like, a sound. I see her mom, like, walking in the. Like, through the living room. We were like, oh. We, like, try to pretend like we're just there. We're just here watching TV. Our clothes are on. Everything's fine. And, like, 20 minutes pass, and her mom is Calm and gone. Like, acted as if everything is fine. And then we're in the living room now we're talking about school, watching tv. And my fucking grandma walks in the front door.
Jameela Jamil
No.
Trayvon Free
And I'm like, what? What are you doing here? And she goes, what am I doing here? And I'm like, oh, fuck. All right. I can only think of one reason why you might be here. And her mom proceeds to tell us that she came right back in the house after she walked out the door. Cause she forgot something.
Jameela Jamil
Oh.
Trayvon Free
And saw us full swing in the middle, like right on the floor in her bedroom.
Jameela Jamil
Baby girl. Wait, were you in the mother's bedroom?
Trayvon Free
No, we were in her. We were in my girlfriend's bedroom. And.
Jameela Jamil
That is. It was horrifying.
Trayvon Free
Like, thinking back on it, the most horrifying part is that period where you knew you didn't know. And she. Her mom knew, but she was acting like she didn't know. Cause you were like thinking you got away with it, right? Aw. And yeah, she saw us. It was like full on doggy style, just like going at it.
Jameela Jamil
No, that's not even pure. It's not even like Romeo and Jul. You're not making love to her kid, you're fucking her. Like, that is horrifying.
Rob Corddry
That is horrifying. In the style of dogs.
Trayvon Free
Yes, exactly. As parents, you.
Jameela Jamil
I mean, she's not gonna get that image out of her head for the rest of her life. That is. That is. Do you think that she really forgot something, or do you think she was like, I'm gonna go out for 20 minutes. And then was like, gotcha.
Trayvon Free
The only reason why I think she might have actually forgotten something was cause she had to pick up her daughter at a specific time. Cause she said she went to a school nearby the house and she would always pick her up, like, at the same time. And she was so quiet that she said when we heard her, it was only because she made noise on purpose. Because we just didn't stop.
Rob Corddry
Oh, man.
Trayvon Free
She's like, right here, guys.
Jameela Jamil
That is. That actually, like, I felt my vagina close and like, disappeared.
Rob Corddry
Vagina.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah. And were you being loud?
Rob Corddry
Yeah, I bet you were.
Jameela Jamil
I bet you were if you had the house alone.
Trayvon Free
Yeah, probably. Yeah, I think I. I think we were really into it. Now that I'm thinking back on. Was not a. It was not a someone's in the other room situation.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, my God. I feel shy. It didn't even happen to me. I feel really shy.
Trayvon Free
Yeah, that was. That was one of those things where I don't know how often people get caught having sex in their life.
Jameela Jamil
No, I mean, like, I had roommates for the last 10 years, so James and I have been having sex like mimes, you know, where we're just like. It's so quiet.
Rob Corddry
Have you ever gotten caught, though?
Jameela Jamil
Never been caught. Never. No one's ever heard. I'm sorry. They've never admitted catching, but also it would I fuck like a mouse. Like. And I think even when you're alone, without any context for the clip, just.
Rob Corddry
Just that mousey style.
Jameela Jamil
And leave it to people's imagination about what? I mean. Yeah.
Rob Corddry
I imagine you're nibbling on cheese while you're having sex.
Jameela Jamil
It's sinencio. It's like, it's. Yeah. So quiet.
Trayvon Free
So.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah.
Trayvon Free
That was.
Jameela Jamil
That was truly harrowing, man. Thank you for sharing.
Rob Corddry
Yeah, man.
Trayvon Free
I've never gotten a chance to tell that story before, so this is the perfect place.
Jameela Jamil
Well, I am.
Rob Corddry
I am honored and privileged.
Jameela Jamil
That's why we have this show. Thank you so much. We'll be right back after this break.
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Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
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Jameela Jamil
And we're back. Trayvon, what is your big wrong turn?
Trayvon Free
You know, I think one of the biggest ones, and I still, like, think back on this with the most. I wish I had a time machine energy of probably anything is back when I was working at the Daily Show, I was in my first year and the way the day, the rhythm of the day goes is, you know, right around two or three o' clock that everything slows down, you're getting ready for rehearsal, you're kind of just sitting around kind of waiting. And I decided, you know what? I'm gonna just start working on some of the scripts and pilots that I used to write before I got this job, right? Because now that I have this really cool job that, like, everyone loves, I might, yeah, I might be able to get some made one of these days, right? And so I'm just emailing my scripts to myself to my Daily show email account so that I could have them there because we live in that account so much and, like, everything's readily available. And one by one, I'm just forwarding scripts to myself. And I have both inboxes up so I can see them immediately populate the moment I hit send on the other one because it's happening so fast. I finally get to the last one and I hit send and like, nothing's happening. And I'm like, what's taking this email so long? And out of nowhere, I hear my office mate just start cackling. And then I look and I see. I sent it to the entire staff, the entire building, every single employee who gets a pitch email at the Daily show got my script and I felt my stomach move from 52nd street to fucking Wall Street. And you know what it was? What? It's because you know when you're typ an email address and it auto populates the thing.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah.
Trayvon Free
I had been sending it to myself t free atthedaily show.com but that one particular time when I started typing, because I'd done it so many times, I've just gotten into the habit of click, click, click, click, click, click. And I started typing it and it populated pitch and it fucking sent. I just clicked it and went like, oh, I'm done.
Rob Corddry
Nice.
Trayvon Free
What you've just done is you've just armed the funniest people on the planet, horrifying an endless amount of ammo with.
Rob Corddry
A half written script or a 98.
Trayvon Free
With a first and a half draft written script. And you've only been here for like four months.
Rob Corddry
That's the thing.
Jameela Jamil
SNL is the only Worst place you.
Trayvon Free
Could have done that, only probably the.
Jameela Jamil
Only worst place on earth you could. Like, the Pentagon would have been less scary than the Daily Show.
Trayvon Free
Yeah, I probably could have got it deleted from the server.
Rob Corddry
Yeah, the.
Trayvon Free
At the Pentagon.
Rob Corddry
Right.
Trayvon Free
And immediately after I realize it over the paging system, one of. One of the producers from downstairs, Jimmy Don, comes over the. The paging system. He goes, trayvon, Steven Spielberg's on the line for you. You have Spielberg on line two. And you hear the entire writer's wing just erupt and laugh and. And I'm just like, oh, God, how old are you? At the time, I was 26, 27.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, baby. Oh, God.
Trayvon Free
It's like I was already ridiculously anxious about getting this job because you're like, it's the Daily Show.
Rob Corddry
Everybody here.
Jameela Jamil
You've been there for 16 weeks at this point. That is insane.
Trayvon Free
You want to impress everybody. You want everyone to think you're funny. You want to get something on the show. And here you are now, have emailed the entire staff, your pilot, and rehearsal comes, and there's probably been, like, maybe an hour between my sending the script in rehearsal. And I'm thinking, like, you know what? Maybe this will all blow over. Maybe they got it out of the system. And, you know, when we. When we do rehearsal, the show basically looks like what it's gonna look like on TV when the audience comes on. Theme song comes on, camera swings into John's face. He's, like, playing with the script. Welcome to the Daily Show. Tonight's show has been postponed, and we will be replacing tonight's show with a stage reading of a script called Married Men, written by one of our staff writers. So let's get our actors out here, like, just completely. No, no. I was like, oh, I have to quit, right? I just moved here. I just moved to New York, and I have to move back to LA because this is the most horrific thing I think I've ever done in my life.
Rob Corddry
That's terrifying.
Trayvon Free
And the worst part is, like, you know. You know how funny and insanely talented everyone there is. And it's very much like when you see whales playing with the seal before they eat it, because you think, like, oh, no one's brought it up in, like, a day until you realize, oh, they're just waiting for the perfect moment.
Rob Corddry
Because they're smart and hilarious.
Trayvon Free
Of course they're gonna wait for the perfect time to call it back and, like, knife you again from the very body over and over. And you just never. You just never leave it down. You just. You're hoping no one actually read it.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah.
Trayvon Free
You know, why wouldn't they? No, why wouldn't they? Because more ammo, right? Oh, man.
Jameela Jamil
Fuck technology, man. Fuck technology. Rob?
Rob Corddry
Yes.
Jameela Jamil
Are you ready to hand over your big wrong turn?
Rob Corddry
No.
Jameela Jamil
Okay.
Rob Corddry
I'm never ready. I'm never ready. I'm never ready to tell this story because it's, you know, that feeling. I mean, it goes beyond humiliation into trauma, cringe, where it's an actual physical. Like, you feel like sort of like your organs are folding in on each other when you're cringing. And I have very few times in my life that have provoked that reaction. But, like, this is one big one. And I feel very brave. You are brave telling this story.
Jameela Jamil
Do you wanna hold hands or are you good?
Rob Corddry
I have. No, I'm okay. I might need my hands.
Jameela Jamil
Okay.
Rob Corddry
I have a terrible track record of blowing it with celebrities.
Jameela Jamil
And they're just as we learned at the GQ Awards.
Trayvon Free
Yeah.
Rob Corddry
Right. Well, I guess, yeah, that would fall into the same category. But, like, I say the wrong things and I act weird and I'm not myself. And I was once, like, around Amy Mann and I bombed out of my skull. And I just remember her looking at me like, I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you. And I was just trying to impress her. And, like, there was one time at the Daily Show, Stephen King, the author, was on, and I had been reading his book since I was in third grade. And I came up, and I'm also from New England, you know. And so I said, hey, yeah, we started talking and it was going well. And this isn't even the story. This is just to tell you, give you a flavor of how I am with celebrities. I said, yeah, I'm from Boston. My mother's from Maine. And he was like, oh, wow. And I said, and listen, I am your number one fan. If you've ever seen Misery, you know that. That's the whole thing, the whole book. And he reacted like he just kind of looked at the floor a little bit and shuffled, and he went, all right, well, try not to cut my foot off. Okay? And then he walked over by the TV and started playing with things like the remote or something. And I was like, oh, shit, it.
Jameela Jamil
Sounds like a director threat, doesn't it?
Rob Corddry
Yeah.
Jameela Jamil
For anyone who hasn't seen Misery, it's about an author lover who says, I'm your number one fan, and then continues to smash his ankles in and keep him hostage in her home.
Rob Corddry
That's the stupidest thing to say to Stephen King.
Jameela Jamil
Like, I also think it's fine. And he was a bit of a dick in that situation.
Rob Corddry
That's why. That's not a cringe inducing story. I can get over that one. This one is. I happened to be watching Sons of Anarchy a few years ago when I ran into Ron Perlman at Gelson's. He plays like, the patriarch on that show. And this Gelson is like a minefield of celebrities, too. So it's tricky.
Jameela Jamil
It's the one in West Hollywood, it's.
Rob Corddry
The one in Silver Lake.
Jameela Jamil
Right, Right.
Rob Corddry
So I. Not to brag, but I'm standing behind him in line, and I'm watching the show, and I'm thinking, like, you gotta say something. Don't be a jerk. Like, I went through this whole routine in my head, like, what am I gonna. Well, what would you say? I don't know. Like, don't. Best not to say anything. But maybe, you know, he will recognize you. I even did that thing maybe. And then we'll have like a hey and a wink moment. It's so embarrassing. And finally I stopped thinking about it, and he was turning to get his wallet out, so he was sort of turning toward me, and I went, hey. And I gave him the double guns. No, I gave him the double guns. Something I've never done before.
Jameela Jamil
So cool.
Rob Corddry
Feels so foreign when I'm doing it right now. I gave him the double guns and I said, stop.
Jameela Jamil
You're arousing me too much.
Rob Corddry
I said, you demand. No, listen.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Rob Corddry
I did not say. I did. I did not say, you are the man. I did not say you the man.
Jameela Jamil
I said, you do it in full with the finger guns.
Rob Corddry
Full with the finger. You demand no to Ron Perlman. And the second it was halfway out of my mouth, and I was like, what are you saying? You've never said this before in your life. Why are you doing this? Cause I was thinking, oh, he's Ron Perlman. He's on Sons of Anarchy. He's like, the man.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah.
Rob Corddry
But then I made it dumb, man. I don't. I don't know. And he went. He just kind of like. He was acting really shifty and was like, cool. Thank you. And then he left. And. And I was. I spent the whole time, you know, walking to my car, trying to talk myself out of.
Trayvon Free
Out of driving to San Francisco and jumping off the bridge. Just drive straight to the Golden Gate Bridge.
Jameela Jamil
You don't get out of the.
Rob Corddry
I was like, you know, it's probably not water.
Trayvon Free
I was.
Rob Corddry
I Was like, it's probably not that bad. It's not like I gave him the double guns or any. Oh, wait, I did give him the double guns. And I was like, the whole way home, I was trying to talk myself up, you know, get myself out of this mess. And. And then I got home and I said. I told my wife what had happened. And my wife. My wife said. She puts one hand on her cheek and went, oh, heavens. Oh, heavens.
Jameela Jamil
It's so much worse than almost anything else you could have said. Like, being rude to him would not be as embarrassing as you demand.
Rob Corddry
You demand. Nobody says that.
Jameela Jamil
No.
Trayvon Free
I mean, there was a movie called you'd the man with ed lover and Dr. Dre, and they don't even say it in the movie.
Rob Corddry
They don't say it in the movie, you know? Cause it's stupid.
Trayvon Free
It's like no one says it.
Jameela Jamil
No one says it crazy like that is.
Rob Corddry
And that makes it.
Jameela Jamil
That tips it over really bad.
Rob Corddry
Yeah, it's a crazy. It's just psych.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, man. That is wild.
Rob Corddry
Right?
Jameela Jamil
Especially because he's like. He's cool. He's cult cool. I feel like you could say that to the guy who's the Paul Blart guy. What's his name?
Trayvon Free
Okay.
Jameela Jamil
I feel like you say it's Kevin James, and he'd be like, eat like that.
Rob Corddry
You're absolutely right.
Jameela Jamil
You can't say that, too.
Trayvon Free
Not to hell.
Jameela Jamil
That's very embarrassing.
Trayvon Free
That's how I feel when I ask people, can I pet their dog? Like, when you see people out in public and they have a really cute dog, like, oh, my God, can I. Is he for. Can I pet? And like, yeah, yeah. And you just go, hey, how are you? He's a good boy.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah.
Trayvon Free
No clue who you are. I didn't ask you your name. You were not a person to me.
Rob Corddry
You're just a thing. You are secondary to this.
Jameela Jamil
People do that with my dogs all the time. It's like being out with Billie Eilish or something. It's like I may as well not exist. What am I, chopped liver?
Trayvon Free
I've tried to start asking the owners their names as the like, so it doesn't feel so they know you don't.
Rob Corddry
Give a fuck, but, like, I don't.
Trayvon Free
I'm not gonna remember you after this moment, Jake. Your dog's adorable. I just want to pet your dog, and I'm gonna go on with my day.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, man.
Rob Corddry
Why are you going around petting dogs anyway?
Jameela Jamil
What do you mean?
Trayvon Free
You've never seen a Dog in public that you were like, no, you've been waiting in line and someone had a dog. And we're just in the Apple Store recently.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah.
Trayvon Free
What's wrong with you?
Rob Corddry
Your hands get all, like, waxy and oily.
Jameela Jamil
Do. What kind of fucking dogs Dogs are.
Rob Corddry
You picking up all those oily dogs? Big German shepherds.
Jameela Jamil
I feel like he's been stopping coyotes and, like, petting those.
Trayvon Free
I think you've been petting seals?
Jameela Jamil
Yeah.
Rob Corddry
No, I pet a seal.
Jameela Jamil
I can't pass a dog without trying to interact.
Trayvon Free
If I see a person with a cute dog and their dog looks at me and starts doing that thing, dude.
Jameela Jamil
I go to when I'm in New York and I don't have my. When I'm in New York, if I don't have my dog with me, I go to the New York dog park in Washington Square and I just watch the other dog like a pedophile. You know, like when you turn up without your own dog, like some weird, like, fucking dog.
Rob Corddry
That is a fun spot, though.
Jameela Jamil
That's one of the best.
Trayvon Free
I have pictures of me with other people's dogs.
Jameela Jamil
Same.
Trayvon Free
Like, I'm like, I need to remember meeting this cute ass dog right now. Someone take a photo.
Jameela Jamil
I never worry about my phone getting hacked because it's so many pictures of my dogs and other people's dogs.
Trayvon Free
I think took three before I got here. Literally before I got here. Like, three pictures of my dog. Like, why? I don't know. He's just always cute. But he also does this thing where we feed him at noon and at noon on the dot. Every single day. He comes up to me like, let's do this. And if you don't, he'll go to my girlfriend and go, what the fuck's he doing? Why is he not making my food like, every single day?
Jameela Jamil
I think you're missing out in life.
Rob Corddry
I mean, I don't know. I pet dogs before. It's.
Jameela Jamil
Are you not really a dog person?
Rob Corddry
It's fine. They're fine. Dogs and cats. I don't mind.
Trayvon Free
Someone's never gonna be president.
Jameela Jamil
I was about to say we're losing the audience real fast, so let's go.
Rob Corddry
To hell on it.
Jameela Jamil
Let's go to a break before he says more stuff about not caring about dogs.
Trayvon Free
Actually, we do have a president who doesn't like dogs. So you still in the game?
Jameela Jamil
Yeah. All brown people. Okay, let's go.
Rob Corddry
Yes.
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Trayvon Free
Can we sleep cooler?
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Jameela Jamil
And we are back. Okay, so you two have been absolutely exceptional. I have loved these stories. I have truly cringed in a way that has brought me great comfort and great joy. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. Honestly, what you said is actually the only thing I've heard worse than cool beans, which is truly bad. My boyfriend has asked me to stop saying skedaddle. He's like made an official request to stop saying skedaddle because he's with scram.
Rob Corddry
Why?
Jameela Jamil
No, he doesn't like that. And he also has asked me to stop saying easy peasy lemon squeezy. So now I just say easy peasy. And then under my breath I go.
Rob Corddry
Lemon squeezy just so I can get.
Jameela Jamil
It off my chest. Okay, so normally we have an audience story, but today I thought I would share. I would share one of my own wrong turns. I'm going to be the audience member today. So I was thinking back to when I first moved to Los Angeles. I didn't know anyone and I had randomly met Leslie Mann in a bar and she and I just randomly hit it off and then decided to stay up all night together until the sunrise. This was she'd been in London for a premiere or something and so she was like, come to la. And I was like, maybe I will come to la. And then I called her and I was like, I'm in la. Not for her. I'd moved here, and I had not moved here for a while.
Rob Corddry
Her.
Jameela Jamil
But she was the only person I knew. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna phone this nice lady who I had that one fun night with. So I meet up with her, and she's lovely, and we start, you know, kind of hanging out every so often. And she introduces me to some of her friends. It's very kind, gracious woman. And then within a few weeks of me moving here, it's my 29th birthday. And she's like, oh, what are you gonna do? And I was like, oh, I don't know anyone, so I'm not gonna do anything. Like, I'm just gonna stay home. She was with. Yeah, yeah. She was like, they'd made like, this is 40. Da da da da. They were like royalty, Hollywood royalty. She was like, we'll take you out for dinner. And I was like, ah, that's so nice of you. What do you mean? She's like, yeah, we'll take you out for dinner. And I hadn't met Judd yet. I just only ever hung out with Leslie. So they take me out for dinner to this really great restaurant. And it's not pretentious and fancy. It's like delicious burgers and steak and all these different things. I think it's like boa or something like that. And for me, I'd never eaten anything like boa before. I was like, this is the craziest restaurant that's ever existed. So I. So we're there, and she's brought with her Judd, who's being very nice, and Kate Upton, the supermodel and actress. So I'm like, fucking hell. Like, this is what English people think happens when you come to la. It's like I just meet a movie star, and then other movie stars and supermodels join and they take you out for your birthday. So I was like, this is fucking sick. So, you know, I'm quite nervous during the meal, but I'm more also so distracted by how incredible the food is. So I'm quite mute. And not very charismatic because I'm consumed. And then, of course, cause Hollywood, no one's fucking touching their food. And all I can look at is, like, how much food is left on their plates. And I'm like, I can't ask for any. I can't ask to try some. I really want to try some. You're not ready. That's a supermodel. Don't. Don't touch her plate. Do not reach across. Like, I'M the kind of person who loves to share other people's food to the point where I have one of those long extendable forks. So if I need to reach across the table to try someone's fries, I can do it. I'm a maniac. So I'm like, don't do it, don't do it. Don't do it, don't do it. And I managed not to do it. So then the check comes, and the waiter comes, and he's like, do you want to take any of this away? And they're like, no, no, no. We're going to a club afterwards. And I was like, oh, wow, we're going to a club afterwards. And I was like, I actually will take the rest of mine away. And then I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I was like, and I will also take everyone else's leftovers with me.
Rob Corddry
Yeah.
Jameela Jamil
And the look on everyone's face was so fucking priceless. And Leslie was like, you're gonna take our food home? And I was like, I just think.
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Trayvon Free
Oh, God.
Jameela Jamil
The classic line. And I was like, you know, I just. I wouldn't want to waste all this delicious, delicious food. So I guess, if that's okay. But she's like, but, honey, we're going to a nightclub, like, after this. And I was like, that's okay. I'll look after it.
Rob Corddry
I'll check it.
Jameela Jamil
And so they're like, okay. So then this giant bag, doggy bag is brought for me. It's a tote. It's a tote at this point because it's four people's leftovers. And so I'm. I have no shame. I'm just like. I feel the burn, but I'm just powering through, and I'm, like, on my way to the club with a giant tote bag. Obviously, they don't. Full of meat. Yeah, full of meat, fish, and all kinds of things. And, like, French fries, like, oils and garlic. Stinky, you know, and it's marinating, and it's all together in one bag. So I'm just reeking in the line. And then, like, we get to the front, and obviously they don't want to let me in with a bunch of, like, steak and fish and chicken. But I'm with the apatow, so they let me in, and Leslie's like, do you want to put it in the cloakroom? And I was like, someone might steal this. It's like, no one's gonna fucking steal.
Rob Corddry
My Half eat.
Jameela Jamil
It. Yeah. And I'm like, I insist on keeping it with me. So then we walk into the dance area and it's like, I don't even know where we were. It felt like we were at like a birthday party of like a, an icon or something. Because everyone was famous. Everyone looked incredible. It was like a 70s theme of like disco. And it was just, it was the best party I'd ever seen. And everyone's really dancing. No one's being uptight like they are in la. Normally. Everyone's on the dance floor having the greatest time. And Judd, like, goes off to the bar and Leslie and Kate like, head straight for the dance floor because they're both like just fun, confident, hot women. And they're like, come with us. And they were like, leave the bag.
Rob Corddry
And I'm like, please leave the bag.
Jameela Jamil
I like, I can't leave the bag. I'm so sorry. I can't leave the bag. So I, I, I come onto the bag.
Trayvon Free
Leftovers leave them over there.
Jameela Jamil
Yeah. So I can't because I think someone's gonna steal them. I'm so. It's like a squirrel or did you.
Rob Corddry
Just become a thing with the paranoid?
Jameela Jamil
And they think someone's gonna take their nut and it's like, no one wants your fucking nut. It's that. So I take this tote of food into the middle of the dance floor stinking, like reeking and stinking sea back sea bass and chicken together.
Rob Corddry
Why would you take home sea bass.
Jameela Jamil
To begin with, by the way? I don't even eat fish.
Rob Corddry
My God.
Jameela Jamil
So I just like, I just, I just couldn't leave anything behind. I was like, maybe my roommate will eat the fish. So I'm there, I'm dancing, I'm trying to dance. The tote is swinging on either side of me and I'm trying. And I'm tall as well, you know, I'm 5 11. Like, I'm already this like, ogre next to everyone else. And I'm just, and I'm swinging and I'm hitting people with the tote and being like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. People are like, what the fuck is she doing with this giant bag? What is that smell? You know? And so people are just starting to create like a puddle of blood.
Rob Corddry
If you look at me from like.
Jameela Jamil
A. Yeah, if you look at me from like an aerial view, you can see that, like people are starting to move in a distance. Like, you know, like the mushroom cloud. It's like that, it's Like, I've created a circle around me where people are moving around, and in my head, I've forgotten about the totes. So I'm just like, oh, everyone's liking my moves and they're clearing space. It's like, no, they were just trying to get the fuck away from me. And slowly but surely, I think so did, like, Leslie and Kate. And I was like, I should go. And then I went home with my full tote of food, had a great week of leftovers, but that was. I was not invited out again. And I think that that is very fair.
Rob Corddry
Yes, Yes, I would say fair. I mean, I would say fair.
Jameela Jamil
And I don't go out to dinner with celebrities now. Like, I can't behave myself. I don't know what to do. Does this make you feel better about your interaction with Rob Perlman?
Rob Corddry
Yeah. Cause I have the affliction. Like, you'd think we'd be cool by now, but for some reason I just blow it. Yeah.
Trayvon Free
Have you guys not talked about this since it happened?
Jameela Jamil
Not really, no. I mean, like, so they've always been kind.
Rob Corddry
They've been kind, they've been patient.
Jameela Jamil
They're always like, hey, how's it going?
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Jameela Jamil
But I really presented as a fucking maniac that night. That was my bad. I'm sorry, everyone. But, yeah, anyway, that was my wrong turns offering no silver lining other than great leftovers. And this is. This is one of many leftover tales that I have. Like, something comes over me like a cloud of bad judgment as soon as delicious food is involved. I don't know what it is, but I feel hot just telling that story again. The worst birthday ever. Anyway, I love you guys. Thank you so much for coming today. Where can everyone find you and what do you want them to know about? Start with you, Trayvon.
Trayvon Free
I am Trayvon on all of your social medias, even though I. I don't really use them very much.
Jameela Jamil
How enticing.
Rob Corddry
Can't wait to check those out.
Trayvon Free
I guess I post stories, but I don't really post anything on my grid. You know, I'm not big into it, but yeah, that's where I kind of do my thing. And writing movies and things you'll see on your screens at some point this year, hopefully or next year.
Jameela Jamil
Great.
Rob Corddry
Well, I got a show coming out in April called the audacity on AMC. It's an hour long show and it's April 12th and it's really good.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, I'm happy for you.
Rob Corddry
It's really good.
Jameela Jamil
You say that with such a Surprise.
Rob Corddry
Yeah, I can't say that confidently about a lot of stuff that I do. You know, like, you know, hot tub time machine. I was like, yeah, you know, it's depends on who you are.
Jameela Jamil
Right?
Rob Corddry
But this is a good show.
Jameela Jamil
Oh, April. Thrilled. Okay, April 12th, the audacity. We'll check that out. Everyone go follow Trayvon's slightly lifeless Instagram account and watch all of his stuff.
Trayvon Free
There is. I always forget what you can promote or what you can or can't say, but this is already public. But I'm adapting a novel at apple, razorbay. Tears. S.A. cosby. Yeah. Oh, nice.
Jameela Jamil
Congratulations. Well, everyone go check that out. You two have been a fucking delight.
Trayvon Free
It's a great book.
Jameela Jamil
Thanks, guys. Thank you. Wrong Turns was created and produced by me, Jameela Jamil and Stuart Bailey. And thank you to consulting producer Colin Anderson. You can email us a voice memo of your own Wrong Turns. All you have to do is email personal disaster storiesmail.com don't forget to subscribe. Like review wherever you get your podcasts and tell your friends about us. I have a substack. It's called a low desire to please. That's enough of me. I'm gonna find off now. Bye.
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Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?
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This episode of Wrong Turns is a full-throttle celebration of public embarrassment, mortifying moments, and personal disaster—with absolutely zero morals or silver linings shoehorned in. Jameela Jamil invites Emmy and Oscar-winning comic writer Travon Free and actor/comedian Rob Corddry to tell their most cringe-inducing stories. The trio laughs, squirm, and bond over humiliation, reinforcing the core idea: everyone’s life is a series of ridiculous, shameful misadventures—so we may as well revel in them together.
On Disaster and Comedy:
“When you do comedy, disaster is sort of like your friend.” — Travon Free (03:46)
Defining a Nightmarish Bomb:
“Steve O yelled, sit down, shit ass.” — Rob Corddry (07:18)
“Will Ferrell was laughing his ass off at every joke. And not just every joke, every reaction, every lack of a reaction. He loved it.” — Rob Corddry (10:24)
Adolescent Horror:
“She came right back in the house after she walked out… and saw us full swing in the middle, like right on the floor in her bedroom.” — Travon Free (14:04)
Auto-Email Debacle:
“What you’ve just done is you’ve just armed the funniest people on the planet...” — Rob Corddry (21:07)
“Tonight’s show has been postponed, and we will be replacing tonight's show with a stage reading of a script… written by one of our staff writers.” — Trayvon, recalling Jon Stewart (23:26)
The Perlman Incident:
“I gave him the double guns... and I said, ‘You de man.’ No, listen.” — Rob Corddry (28:48)
“Oh, heavens. Oh, heavens.” — Rob’s wife’s reaction (30:41)
Dancing with the Leftovers:
“I take this tote of food into the middle of the dance floor, stinking, like reeking and stinking sea bass and chicken together.” — Jameela Jamil (41:37)
Throughout, the tone is raucous, completely unfiltered, self-deprecating, and joyfully irreverent. The guests and host take obvious delight in recounting their lowest moments, refusing to moralize or silver-line. The entire episode feels like a safe confessional for truly spectacular faceplants.
Wrong Turns lives up to its name: if there’s dignity to be lost, this trio gleefully barrels past it. Their disasters unite them—and all of us—in glorious, awkward solidarity.